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Scientology wants to know: Why haven’t you signed up to work for them yet?

We kind of feel sorry for the Orlando Ideal Org. Like the rest of the Ideal Orgs around the world, it’s nearly dead after its flashy grand opening and initial push, which is how it always goes. But at least if you were at a dead org like in Miami, you’d at least be in, well, Miami.

But still, the Orlando folks are gamely making another play for your attention, and we thought we’d help them out by showing you their latest propaganda about joining the staff there.

Staff members sign 2.5- or 5-year contracts (not the billion-year pacts signed in the Sea Org), and work for around minimum wage (when they’re paid at all). But what’s it like to work on staff? We’d like to hear from our readers about that.

So here’s the new come-on.




Bonus items from our tipsters

Meanwhile, in Michigan…



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Did you know you can get an email every morning when we post our daily Scientology story? We know some of the folks who come to the Underground Bunker aren’t here to talk about the politics of the day, and that’s why we created a daily politics feature over at our other blog, The Lowdown, and we ask readers to take their political discussions over there. And if you drop us a line at tonyo94 AT gmail, we’ll put you on the list so you get a morning reminder that a new Scientology story has been posted — and only for our Scientology stories.



Source Code

“One time there was a fellow I knew. He was a mining engineer. A good friend of mine. He was an educated classmate at GW. And then went out west and took a post graduate course at Boseman. And this boy was kicking around the mining camps, and all due respect to womankind at large, the better women do not hang around mining camps. But he decided to get romantic and he got married. And he married a woman straight out of the cribs. That is to say, she was, for sale, and had been for years. But, what do you know? Fantastically enough, she made him a good wife and everybody was very fascinated with this. They went up in the mountains, he did a lot of prospecting for Anaconda Copper and they, looking over old properties and so on, and oh, it went along all right. He was living a rather rough life and a lot of privation in it and a lot of loneliness and so forth, so everything was OK. He finally quit Anaconda Copper on the thought that there were some lodes that went out from a very famous mine which had been closed down, which might still be active. Well that was a very lonely part of the country, too. And he went down there with this woman and he prospected around and by golly, he uncovered the most enormous quantity of five dollar rock. And away he goes. Well boy, he’d exceeded her rate of havingness. Bang! And you talk about a mess. He was in more trouble in less time than he’d been for years. Interesting, oh she went completely haywire. Just went off the deep end. Well what had happened there, he’d all of a sudden become well off. He had about a half a million dollars in the bank. He all of a sudden was driving Cadillacs and she was able to wear fur coats and that sort of thing. That was just the end. Just went completely to pot. Went out, slept with anything that came along. Just stole money, did anything.” — L. Ron Hubbard, January 26, 1954


Avast, Ye Mateys

“OVERBOARDS: BOB SEWELL is assigned overboard blindfolded for not returning to work until 1100 hrs, after he had gone Overboard at 07.55 hrs. He did not give me an explanation and was reported to me as eating cookies and drinking coffee while he was supposed to be working and still in a condition of Non Existence.” — W.O. Alex Sibirsky P.P.F. I/C, January 26, 1969


Overheard in the FreeZone

“I popped completely out of this universe to a void of complete nothing. It would be like going from all noise to complete silence on EVERYTHING. Can’t feel body weight or the matter energy space and time of any part of the physical universe. An instant after being in the void I pop back into the physical universe around 750 AD and everything turns on again with the exception is I am out of body in that lifetime looking down at castle in France or England. Took a look and popped completely out of that time back into the void of nothing and then back into the full MATTER ENERGY SPACE AND TIME IMPACT to PT, (present time). It is like nothing you can imagine unless you did it. turning everything off completely and then everything on completely.”


Past is Prologue

1997: Frank Rich of The New York Times wrote a column on the issue of the letter signed by Hollywood celebrities, which compared modern Germany to the historical Nazi party. “Why have so many Hollywood names, none of them Scientologists and many of them Jewish, invoked the Nazis on behalf of Scientology? At least half of the 34 signatories have past or present professional ties to Tom Cruise and John Travolta, Scientology’s most famous recruits. Others may be along just for the ride, but still others, as one producer put it, ‘would like to be making a movie with Tom Cruise or John Travolta as soon as possible.’ What makes the ad even more frivolous is that it studiously ignores the controversy over Scientology itself — which is at least as heated as the controversy over Germany’s treatment of Scientologists. Flo Conway’s and Jim Siegelman’s book ‘Snapping’ and a 1991 Time cover story have most recently raised serious questions about this church, with Time arguing it is ‘a hugely profitable global racket that survives by intimidating members and critics in a Mafia-like manner.’ But were any of the letter’s signatories to actually look into complaints against Scientology, they might risk forgoing business with two of the industry’s most bankable stars. That would require a courage that in Hollywood is far harder to come by than 56,000 bucks.”



Random Howdy

“Miscavige is downsizing the corporation, cutting his overhead to the barest minimum and consolidating his forces in his last two strongholds, L.A and Clearwater. It makes sense. In Pyongyang most of the office buildings and hotels are empty except for a skeleton staff to make it look good for the occasional tourist or journalist they let in. They’re also there to turn the faucets on occasionally and keep the boiler running. It makes the Generals and the Kims happy, and that’s all that really matters.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Next hearing set for February 8. Trial scheduled for August 29.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Last hearing was on January 18, referred to grand jury.
Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay sentenced to 9 years in prison. Jeff’s sentencing to be scheduled.
Hanan and Rizza Islam and other family members, Medi-Cal fraud: Pretrial conference January 27 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next pretrial conference set for February 11.
Joseph ‘Ben’ Barton, Medicare fraud: Pleaded guilty, awaiting sentencing.

Yanti Mike Greene, Scientology private eye accused of contempt of court: Next hearing February 15.

Civil litigation:
Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Eleventh Circuit affirmed ruling granting Scientology’s motion for arbitration. Garcias considering next move.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ US Supreme Court denied Valerie’s petition Oct 4.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Scientology has said it will file an anti-SLAPP motion.
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Third amended complaint filed, trial set for June 28.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: Trial concluded, Cannane victorious, awarded court costs. Case appealed on Dec 23. Appeal hearing held Aug 23-27. Awaiting a ruling.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Lawsuit filed by the FTC and state of Georgia in August, now in discovery phase.



We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links, including our four days in Los Angeles covering the preliminary hearing and its ruling, which has Danny facing trial and the potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison.


After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] Danny Masterson says he intends to take part in Scientology ‘arbitration’ with alleged victims
[TWO years ago] Scientology says it’s ‘partnering’ with Miami police for Super Bowl anti-drug quackery
[THREE years ago] Lucas Catton: ‘Narconon and the Church of Scientology are committing fraud daily’
[FOUR years ago] Clearwater city council candidate gets ringing endorsement from a Scientology front
[FIVE years ago] The new ‘disconnection’ billboard on Sunset Blvd is going to be a Valentine to Scientology
[SIX years ago] Bryan Seymour challenges Scientology’s ‘Freedom’ magazine to show itself
[SEVEN years ago] Scientology hits back at Alex Gibney’s film ‘Going Clear’ with predictable smears
[EIGHT years ago] Sunday Funnies: CCHR’s annual gala — time, place, form, and event!
[NINE years ago] Kima Douglas, 1942-2013
[TEN years ago] The Decline and Fall of Scientology? Skeptic Magazine Makes the Case


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,556 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,061 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,581 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,601 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,492 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,799 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,667 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 3,441 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 1,772 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,245 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,561 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,127 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,046 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,214 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,795 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,056 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,092 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,807 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,332 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 687 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 1,862 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,413 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,562 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,882 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,737 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 3,856 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,212 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,515 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,621 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,019 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,895 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,478 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 2,973 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,227 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,336 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on January 26, 2022 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2021 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2021), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


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