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Post-Super Bowl, Scientology is on fire and will soon clear the planet

We want to thank our source who once again has given us access to Scientology’s social media streams so we can see what church members are telling each other about their wins and gains.

And right now, are Scientologists amped! The annual Super Bowl ad never fails to give these mighty thetans newfound energy, so let’s see how things are going, shall we?

First, let’s check in on super-Scientologist cheerleader Patrick Clouden and his latest report on all of the good things going on in the Magic Kingdom of Orlando.



OK, maybe that wasn’t too exciting. But at least we can be assured that Scientology is doing its best to get its hands on another generation of unsuspecting children…


It’s a shame that there’s only one approved L. Ron Hubbard lecture that’s on color film, because it really thrills his followers to see it…


Overdo it in Tampa for the big game? Stop on by and let Gayle put you through the quack sauna regimen…



We said the new Super Bowl ad was just another mystery sandwich and just like the others (you can see all of them going back to 2013 here), but some Scientologists were truly moved…


Every time we see Barbara Cordova continuing to schlepp for Scientology, we can’t help thinking about her brave mom, Arlene.


The fundraising never stops. Sure, give up your Valentine’s Day plans for this afternoon’s grift…


Just a reminder that Arte Maren was an unindicted co-conspirator in the Snow White prosecutions of the late 1970s, and we showed how he tried to run interference for the church at the time.



Camp not only headlined here, but also appeared recently in Scientology’s pandemic online concert hosted by Erika Christensen…



Source Code

“The matter of communication is a very serious one. People who are wearing glasses have a break in communication — the communication between the outside world and their minds. It is something which makes it hard for them to see. Myopic astigmatism, unless caused by an accident, is a psychosomatic affair caused by the mind. There is a communication break relating to sight. Those breaks culminate in glasses. Statements in engrams like ‘You just can’t see anything’ will cause the command power to shut off vision. Those people who have achieved optimum personality often drop off the need for glasses.” — L. Ron Hubbard, February 14, 1951


Avast, Ye Mateys

“MOLLY McBRIDE and CLARISSE BARNETT are appointed Commodore’s Messengers. They are cadets in rank and wear a blue lanyard. When they have done their AB, Mission School 2nd Class, SSI and SSII, if they perform duty well, they will be made midshipmen. Anne Tidman as Cmdr’s Messenger I/C will assign their watches and groove them in (Terri Gillham is on Mission). Molly McBride and Clarisse Barnett should turn over any duties they have to the next in line on their posts and groove them in so as not to leave a hole. A poor turnover of former post can drag one back into it as Mr. Warren has learned lately to his sorrow!” — The Commodore, February 14, 1971



Overheard in the FreeZone

“Grade 2 worth it? LRH is very simply a genius. I realized I am CAUSE. I am responsible for anything that ever happened to me, willingly or unwillingly; knowingly or unknowingly. Waves and waves of energy have emanated from my body and me for the past few days and I have addressed items and terminals I had attention on forever. My voice dropped a register during auditing. I had a higher pitched voice before and I just calmed the hell down during this auditing. I sound manlier, I talk slower, I don’t mumble my words so much, I listen attentively to others. I am very happy, I am really ready to go back in the workplace and see changes happening there with terminals. Curious to talk to my 2D (we are currently separated), curious to talk to anyone. My face changed, mass blew right of my face, I feel like I got a face lift and reconstructive surgery. My goodness. Oh and I perceive differently with my vision. I see layers of vision. It is a change of vision, it is a rehab of the Objectives wins I had before but to make it simpler to understand the MEST universe is right in front of me and closer and in full 3D, I AM the MEST universe if that makes sense. It’s not some nebulous weird thing that’s over there. It’s right there in front of me. Sometimes I say hi to it and smile and admire it, it seems to like that.”


Past is Prologue

2001: Randy Enerson reported that Scientology is trying to handle critics who are informing Battle Creek, Michigan locals of the implications of a new org in their community. “John Carmichael is currently in the Battle Creek Michigan area attempting to ‘handle’ the local media as well as any critics in the area that are already speaking out and exposing the truth of Scientology. The CoS is closing their Ann Arbor Org, and trying to purchasing the historic old Hart Hotel in downtown Battle Creek. Carmichael has reportedly been busily shopping a huge load of DA materials on critics of the cult around town to the local media. Yesterday John Carmichael met with a local critic in an attempt to discourage him from further letters to the Battle Creek Enquirer newspaper exposing the criminally convicted cult.”


Random Howdy

“The idiots show up like clockwork on a Thursday, leave a couple of barely comprehensible comments and scurry away, and they’ve done their job for the week! I think Miscavige is overpaying them.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker


Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Masterson arraigned Jan 20. Next conf to set prelim, March 24.
Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay’s sentencing delayed to March 2.
Hanan and Rizza Islam and other family members, Medi-Cal fraud: Trial scheduled for May 20 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Charged in Brooklyn federal court on Feb 4. Arraigned on Feb 9. Status conf. on Feb 16.

Civil litigation:
Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Oral arguments were heard on July 30 at the Eleventh Circuit
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Petition for writ of mandate denied Oct 22 by Cal 2nd Appellate District. Petition for review by state supreme court denied Dec 11.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Dec 30, Judge Kleifield granted Scientology’s motions to compel arbitration. March 8: Status conference.
Matt and Kathy Feschbach tax debt: Eleventh Circuit ruled on Sept 9 that Feshbachs can’t discharge IRS debt in bankruptcy. Dec 17: Feshbachs sign court judgment obliging them to pay entire $3.674 million tax debt, plus interest from Nov 19.
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Second amended complaint filed, trial set for Nov 9, 2021.

Concluded litigation:
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: Trial concluded, Cannane victorious, awarded court costs.
Dennis Nobbe, Medicare fraud, PPP loan fraud: Charged July 29. Bond revoked Sep 14. Nobbe dead, Sep 14.
Jane Doe v. Scientology (in Miami): Jane Doe dismissed the lawsuit on May 15 after the Clearwater Police dropped their criminal investigation of her allegations.


SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks

The Australian Seven News network cancelled a 10-part investigation of Scientology and its history of dirty tricks. Read the transcripts of the episodes and judge for yourself why Tom Cruise and Tommy Davis might not have wanted viewers to see this hard-hitting series by journalist Bryan Seymour.


After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?



[ONE year ago] Masterson accusers in court today seek changes to deal with Scientology ‘arbitration’ motions
[TWO years ago] Scientology’s street theater in New York: A bid to head off a 4th ‘Aftermath’ season?
[FOUR years ago] 25 years ago today: Scientology leader David Miscavige’s ‘Nightline’ appearance
[FIVE years ago] Karen de la Carriere: Scientology is smearing me again, and this time is hitting below the belt
[SIX years ago] More secrets from Scientology’s vanished entity, Narconon International
[SEVEN years ago] Scientology’s $100,000 girl records a video promoting a fundraising event in California
[EIGHT years ago] Scientology’s Spiffy Golden Era Studios Has Its Own Dentist!
[NINE years ago] Scientology’s Shocking Treatment of Children Held in a Suburban Labor Camp


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,212 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 2,716 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,236 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,256 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,147 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,454 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,322 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 3,096 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 3,900 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,216 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 11,782 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 7,701 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 3,869 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,450 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 3,711 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 2,749 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,462 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 1,987 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 342 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 1,517 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,068 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,217 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,537 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,392 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 3,511 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 1,867 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,170 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,276 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 2,678 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,550 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,133 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 2,628 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 2,882 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 13,991 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on February 14, 2021 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2020 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2020), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


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