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Scientology ecstasy: ‘I have no idea where I would be right now without NED’


Scientology publications can be such goldmines. Once again, we’ve received a copy of the “Connect” newsletter from the Hollywood Celebrity Centre, and the latest edition features a graduation speech that is out of this world.

Now, maybe we should be alarmed by some of the statements by graduate Phoenix Mori, who apparently had been leading a fairly messed-up existence, waking up each morning and wondering why she had ever been born, for example. But hey, she’s now a NED graduate and life has never been better!

NED is not, sadly, a reference to the Simpsons character Ned Flanders, but to the Scientology process New Era Dianetics, which was first introduced in 1978. Says our tech expert, Sunny Pereira: “NED is the streamlined version of Book One/Dianetics auditing. It takes many intensives of auditing to complete. It is a series of rundowns addressing everything that ‘aberrates’ a person. The goal of NED auditing is to make a Clear. Some don’t have the Clear cognition and they attest to ‘NED Case completion,’ a ‘well and happy preclear.’ The next step for that person is called the Alternate Clear route and is only done at Advanced Orgs or ASHOs. NED auditing is done at any org or mission anywhere.”

Oh, so this is actually something of a consolation prize. Well, you know how it is at Scientology graduation, no matter what course you just completed, you have to make it sound like the greatest thing that ever happened to you. And this one, well, it’s precious.

But what we mostly take from it is yes, young people are still, in 2019, getting high on L. Ron Hubbard, with everything that’s now been exposed about him and his organization. Amazing, isn’t it?




NED WAS WOW. That’s about it. I would end right there but I feel like I should elaborate. Well, when I wake up, I’m happy. I don’t question why I exist, I don’t question whether it was really worth it to be born. That’s all so yesterday now.

Honestly, I have no idea where I would be right now without NED. I can’t even explain it, the only way is to experience it for yourself. I really, truly — being the doubtful person I was — did not believe anything ‘WOW’ would come of this. It’s really not enough just hearing about it. It just all seemed like some exaggerated commercial: “This product will change your whole, ENTIRE life and make things OK again.”

I don’t know whether it’s magic, miracles, or a little bit of both, but all I know is that my life is beautiful now. NED saved my life. It really, really, REALLY did.

I was no doubt the most “I’m right and you’re wrong” person ever! I didn’t THINK I was the best. I KNEW I was the best! I could never be wrong. It was to the point where I was exhausted at the end of the day, having spent all my time justifying any wrong answers, wrong decisions, all that. I left and blew from so many schools because of this big ball of “I’m Right,” as well as of course misunderstood words and overts.

Well, now, I love people. And that statement is from my heart. People are all so unique. I love talking to different people and getting their individual viewpoints on life, shopping, friendship, love, music…There’s so much to talk about. After all, there is always a BEING underneath everything.

I genuinely love living. It’s such an amazing thing.

First of all I feel SO much more myself. It’s actually incredible, because apparently I’m not the loser recluse I thought I would always be.

I feel like me! And that’s the best person to be.

I realized that I’m here to help. I think that’s the biggest purpose in life. I think I finally found my purpose. I want to change the world.

So in conclusion, I am reborn. That’s my name — Phoenix. I rise from the ashes. Yes, and I rose from the very pits of literal darkness. Very dramatic. But I feel whole again.

Thank you so so much to my parents for helping me through this. And to my auditor and the staff here at Celebrity Centre International. Thank you for changing the very direction I was heading in.

To Mr. Miscavige and RTC, thank you for making sure Scientology is kept safe and pure. And Mr. Hubbard, Sir, you’re pretty awesome. My whole and infinite gratitude to you!

— Phoenix Mori


Bonus items from our tipsters

It’s a Dianetics boom in Scotland!



Scientology’s celebrities, ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and more!

[Erika Christensen, Ethan Suplee, and Juliette Lewis]

We’ve been building landing pages about David Miscavige’s favorite playthings, including celebrities and ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and we’re hoping you’ll join in and help us gather as much information as we can about them. Head on over and help us with links and photos and comments.

Scientology’s celebrities, from A to Z! Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Scientology’s ‘Ideal Orgs,’ from one end of the planet to the other! Help us build up pages about each these worldwide locations!

Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society!

Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in our weekly series. How many have you read?



[ONE year ago] Sheriff’s Office report spells out tragic details of Scientology ‘Clear’ who took her own life
[TWO years ago] As Leah Remini’s second season hammers away, Scientology is losing its mind
[THREE years ago] Vance Woodward’s appeal fails as Scientology has the L.A. attorney on the hook for $90,000
[FOUR years ago] Home, sweet ‘Freewinds’! We get a rare look inside a Scientology promotional seminar
[FIVE years ago] Sunday Funnies: Oops, Scientology reveals a key fact about the size of its membership
[SIX years ago] The History of Scientology’s Weird Vaults — The Bizarre Battlefield Earth Connection!
[SEVEN years ago] The Secret to Eternal Youth! Now Available on the Cruise Ship Freewinds!
[EIGHT years ago] The Top 25 People Crippling Scientology, No. 14: Tory Christman


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley has not seen his daughter Stephanie in 5,555 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 1,684 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 2,188 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 1,708 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 728 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 619 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 3,926 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 1,794 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 2,568 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 3,342 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 2,688 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 11,254 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 7,173 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 3,341 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 2,922 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 3,183 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 2,222 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 1,934 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 1,460 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 986 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 5,549 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 2,689 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,009 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 7,865 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 2,984 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 1,339 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 5,642 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 1,748 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 2,150 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,022 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 1,605 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 2,100 days.
Mary Jane Sterne has not seen her daughter Samantha in 2,354 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 13,463 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on August 31, 2019 at 07:00

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Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2018 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2018), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

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Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


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