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Hip-hip-hooray! We have the newest Scientology propaganda about creating an ‘Ideal World’

 
We want to thank our tipster who sent us images from the new issue of “International Scientology News,” one of the church’s slick publications intended to convince its members that it is not a failing organization in a full-on crisis.

This edition, issue 70, was dedicated to the happenings at the recent Maiden Voyage celebrations on board the Freewinds, Scientology’s private cruise ship, which plies the Caribbean. The Freewinds is the only place where wealthy Scientologists can experience “OT 8,” the highest auditing level on the “Bridge to Total Freedom.” But the ship is also used for other seminars and for the annual Maiden Voyage festivities each June, commemorating the ship’s first voyage under Scientology’s ownership in 1988.

During the weeklong celebration, Scientology leader David Miscavige gives a select number of top donors some sneak peeks at upcoming initiatives, and he also drones on for hours about all the ways Scientology is the most happening thing ever. Now it’s ISN’s job to turn that into print propaganda for the dwindling membership to eat up. Let’s take a look.

 

 
It turns out, Miscavige isn’t just turning regular Scientology “orgs” into “Ideal Orgs,” he’s turning the entire WORLD ideal!

 

 
We especially enjoyed this shot of Miscavige with Freewinds captain Mike Napier, pretending to have a candid moment, when you know that Miscavige is already thinking about how he’s going to make Napier disappear if his stats crash.

 

 
Mixed in with all the miraculous news about how the Freewinds is saving the world (and Colombia in particular), there was some actual news about another vessel, the Diana

 

One of the great stories related to the early days of Scientology involves a very special vessel, the Diana, which is inextricably tied to the Sea Org and its nautical origins. Indeed, the stately Freewinds travels in the legendary wake of this swift, steel-hulled motor sailing ship acquired by LRH in England in 1966. Originally named Enchanter, she would serve as the training vessell of a crew of hand-selected Clears and OTs that comprised the newly formed “Sea Project” (later to become the Sea Organization). In early 1967, LRH would gather his crew on the Canary Islands to refit and ready the ship for an expedition that would forever enhance our understanding of life and eternity. For it was a year later that the Commodore set sail with Diana and her new sister ship, Avon River (later to be re-christened Athena), undertaking what was officially called the Hubbard Geological Survey Expedition, but is now known to Scientologists everywhere as Mission Into Time. Sailing through storied islands such as the Canary Islands and Sicily, whole track recall was proven with digs at ancient sites such as a Roman burial ground. Soon after, the Enchanter was re-christened the Diana.

The following year, she would be relocated to the UK for training drills for Sea Org members. But today, her fabled history enters a new chapter as a bow-to-stern refit has restored her to her former glory. Numerous upgrades have been completed, including repair for the steel hull, replacement of all rigging, the addition of new electronics and an exacting replacement of the teak decks to match those pictured in the Master Mariner book from The L. Ron Hubbard Series. Refurbished wood finishes, cabins and galley complete a refit that is truly a testament to the legacy of LRH. She’s now being readied to serve not only as a training vessel, but also to provide tours to Freewinds guests when the Ship is in the ABC islands, where the Diana will be docked. Itineraries will include cruising the inlets and waterways once navigated by LRH. It all serves as a reminder of the important role the Diana has played, as it’s from her decks that vital truths were unveiled from the sands and broken stone of long-forgotten civilizations.

 
There was also blather about the Scientology Media Production studios and the (by now overdue) television channel (but no new details on it), and a shout out to the STAND website, which hyperventilates about “bigotry.”

More useful was the rundown of Ideal Orgs around the world, sorted by continent. Here’s the latest update on Dave’s empty emporiums around the world…

UK Ideal Orgs: CLO UK, AOSH UK, London
Achievements: Birmingham (Construction started), Manchester (Design done)

Canada Ideal Orgs: Cambridge, Quebec
Achievements: Montreal (Design done), Toronto (Design done), Winnipeg (Space plan)

West US Ideal Orgs: AOLA, ASHO, Dallas, Denver, Inglewood, Los Gatos, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Orange County, Pasadena, Phoenix, Portland, Sacramento, San Diego, Seattle, San Francisco, Stevens Creek, Twin Cities, Valley
Achievements: Salt Lake City (Construction started), Silicon Valley (Renovations start this summer), Austin (Construction documents done), Kansas City (Construction documents done), Santa Barbara (Building acquired)

East US Ideal Orgs: Atlanta, Buffalo, CC Nashville, Cincinnati, Harlem, Miami, New York, Tampa, Washington DC
Achievements: Chicago (Construction documents done), Columbus (Construction documents done), Detroit (Construction documents done), Boston (Design done), Orlando (Design done), Philadelphia (Design done), Puerto Rico (Design done)

Latin America Ideal Orgs: Bogota, Mexico City
Achievements: ODD (Construction begins this summer), Buenos Aires (Construction documents done)

ANZO Ideal Orgs: CLO ANZO, AOSH ANZO, Auckland, Kaohsiung, Melbourne, Sydney, Tokyo
Achievements: Perth (Construction documents done)

Africa Ideal Orgs: Johannesburg, Pretoria
Achievements: Joburg North (Construction started), Port Elizabeth (Space plan)

Europe Ideal Orgs: CLO EU, AOSH EU, Basel, Berlin, Budapest, CSE, Denmark, Hamburg, Madrid, Malmo, Milano, Moscow, Padova, Roma, Tel Aviv
Achievements: Amsterdam (Construction started), Athens (Design done), Barcelona (Building acquired), Dusseldorf (Building acquired), Brescia (Building under contract)

Gosh, what a real estate empire you have going there, C.O.B. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some actual people in those cathedrals?

 
——————–

More heartbreak for the tabloids

Alas, Tom Cruise has been spotted at the new Ideal Org in Auckland, New Zealand, providing yet more evidence that he’s as dedicated to Scientology as he ever was.

We pity the poor tabloids which have so desperately wished that Tom were actually breaking from the church in order to reunite with Katie. Not that the total lack of evidence has kept them from claiming it.

 
——————–

Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley has not seen his daughter Stephanie in 4,807 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 2,564 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 1,910 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 2,404 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 1,444 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy in 1,156 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 682 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 4,771 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 1,911 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 2,231 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 2,206 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 562 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin in 4,864 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 971 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis for 1,373 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 1,246 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 827 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike in 1,332 days.
Mary Jane Sterne has not seen her daughter Samantha in 1,576 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 12,685 days.

 
——————–

3D-UnbreakablePosted by Tony Ortega on July 10, 2017 at 07:00

E-mail tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information about the book, and our 2015 book tour, can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2016 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Undergound Bunker (2012-2016), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of L.A. attorney and former church member Vance Woodward
UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists
GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice
SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

Other links: Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | Scientology boasts about assistance from Google | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our Guide to Alex Gibney’s film ‘Going Clear,’ and our pages about its principal figures…
Jason Beghe | Tom DeVocht | Sara Goldberg | Paul Haggis | Mark “Marty” Rathbun | Mike Rinder | Spanky Taylor | Hana Whitfield

 

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  • Intergalactic Walrus
    • Sherbet

      Road company production of “Camelot” with a backdrop and everything.

      • EmmaDaoust

        Spamalot

        • Sherbet

          Clamalot

        • OOkpik

          Scamalot

    • Phoebequeen

      Close your eyes and think of England.

    • chukicita

      “Bring reform to mental health” is new to me. Whatever happened to “obliterate the psychs?”

    • Eclipse-girl

      I was expecting some mocking j & d.

      And then I realized that is exactly what it was.

    • grundoon

      Traded in their tinfoil hats for the deluxe model brain buckets.

      • Sherbet

        Hey, you! Black Knight! Who said you could step up onto cob’s special height-adding platform?

    • MarcabExpat
    • vaguely_succinct

      OMG, it was so hot in Los Angeles yesterday. Those guys were hatin’ life.

      “It was a bad day for good knights.” Abbott and Costello

    • that’s the Black Knight!

      https://youtu.be/2eMkth8FWno?t=1m32s

    • Cylindrical with a flat top is a very bad design for a helmet. They were typically rounded (to deflect blows from a sword) and had a ridge which made the thing stiffer. That’s a wonderful target that you really lay into.

      The the one worn guy on the right, with the funny metal ‘eyelashes’ isn’t much better. It seems to be designed to trap a sword – not something you want to do with your head – ditto the ‘wings’ on the helmet on the left. If you took the wings off, that’s the only one that might make sense – but he needs better groin protection.

  • balletlady

    Why IS it that those little red boxes on the walls say “IN CASE OF FIRE PULL ALARM”……..

    BUT they fail to tell you to GET THE HELL OUT OF THE BUILDING…….just sayin’

    • flyonthewall

      you get burned up or something? What’s the problem?

    • Chee Chalker

      Happy Birthday ballet lady – I posted over at Mike’s blog (I’m not stalking you….I promise)
      Just wanted to let the Bunker know it’s your birthday!

      • balletlady

        What a lovely person you are Chee……hugs & assorted smoochies! Thank You!

    • Eclipse-girl

      Happy Birthday

      • Liberated

        How did you know it was her birthday? Nobody tells me anything.

        • Kestrel

          The monthly Big Pharma newsletter lists all birthdays and anniversaries on the penultimate page.

          • Liberated

            I live a mile from the house that Prosac built and I don’t get nuthin’ πŸ™

        • Eclipse-girl

          I read downstream

      • balletlady

        Thank you dear!

    • chukicita

      Many happy pirouettes!

  • Intergalactic Walrus
    • chukicita

      I’d like more sales drilling at my church. So ecclesiastical!

    • Qbird

      “No, Thanks!”

  • Chee Chalker

    I’ve been giving this a lot of thought…..the ASC needs its own logo.
    The Co$ has the 2 triangles with the interlocking S’s….
    What best symbolizes the ASC? I think the $ sign has to be in there (because we all are being paid by Big Pharma).
    Maybe an octagon with a $ in the middle? The octagon being the shape of a Stop sign (Stop the abuse)
    Maybe a pair of binoculars in the middle? To represent the missing people we are searching for…..
    Hmmmmm

    • stillgrace2

      I don’t think so … not a good idea. IMHO

      • Chee Chalker

        Then I’ll have to get a tattoo of COB and Marty holding hands.
        I was hoping for something a little more subtle

        • Eclipse-girl

          You can have it made one inch square so no one would know what it was, yet you would.

        • stillgrace2

          I guess the level of sublety would boil down to location, location, location.

      • chukicita

        I agree. I remember why the ARSCC did not exist.

        Don’t let Marty’s delusion frame us. We are not an anti-Scientology cult.

        There are other reasons to not even pretend to consolidate. Even other than creating a legal target.

        • Jimmy3

          Ahhh, I get you. Like how the mafia doesn’t exist. πŸ˜‰

          • chukicita

            Fugeddaboudit.

        • i agree, too, for the most part. i resisted acknowledging it at all until recently. then had an idea … when something is so ridiculous, imo, the best way to take control of the situation and make it go away might be to blatantly make fun of it. as long as we can agree there’s no such thing and we’re not “anti-Scientology” (we can still be a cult, though, right?) we can play w/ ASC to make it whatever WE want it to be … think Anti-Streisand effeCt πŸ˜‰

          feel free to tell me to stfu.

          • chukicita

            IIRC, the same sentiment held on a.r.s. and we dealt with it by insisting the “logo” (it was all text back then) for the ARSCC contain “wdne” for “we do not exist”

            • before my time, and can honestly see why there’d be concern. i’m just rolling w/ the general vibe here, for now, but wouldn’t be upset if we squashed it entirely. the only way to do that, though, would be for everyone to completely 100% ignore it moving forward. that’s gonna be tough.

            • chukicita

              The J&D is strong with this one.

            • stillgrace2

              I hear you. My thought is: do we want to spend time and energy creating a logo that symbolizes something that Miscavige made up for his own purposes and made Marty make videos to promote?

            • agreed, but the cookie dough is already out of that tube (so to speak) … which is kind of why i think we should emphasize the lack of any real meaning to anyone other than Dave/Marty. there are lots of talented people here and we’re already exerting the time/energy by staying abreast of the situations that arise on a daily basis … it’s difficult to “promote” something that makes us seem negative, but we can turn that around and show the world that we’re actually a very positive community (compared to other sites) that doesn’t take itself too seriously … a “be nice until it’s time to not be nice” kinda thing (Roadhouse quote)

            • stillgrace2

              Then go for it! I’m sure Miscavige will be pleased. It would be fun to see Marty use whatever you come up with in one of his videos..

            • haha, i don’t even know what else to say about my feelings regarding it. i take all of “this” very seriously but i also like to laugh. i don’t have any agendas, so i guess we’ll see what tomorrow brings!

              Eti – I think I understand what happened re: my previous comment. I didn’t mean we should emphasize any lack of meaning to Dave, just that it doesn’t mean anything to anyone other than Dave.

            • stillgrace2

              Ducky, I know your heart is in the right place. No worries.

            • Phew! Conversations like this would be a lot easier over a cup of coffee, that’s for sure ;D

              Goodnight, Gracie!

            • stillgrace2

              Goodnight to you, too!

    • Phoebequeen

      Can there be a glass of wine in it too?

      • Chee Chalker

        A bottle

        • flyonthewall

          too phallic

          • Phoebequeen

            snert!

    • flyonthewall

      anything as long as it has a strongly vaginal look

    • Puget Buckeye

      We’ve also been called a Troll Farm. Maybe work in trolls somewhere?

      • Chee Chalker

        I like it!

    • I “made” this last week … might be better as a t-shirt/poster design, tho https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2a9cb4fd74817493b3b0fd4ece6310874b360875198a2787d72d3cf9fd5fa132.jpg

      • Chee Chalker

        Someone should sell t-shirts at the next Howdy Con! So many great t-shirt ideas!

        • iampissed

          Cathy did…… at this years Howdycon (Squeeze my cans) my sons first reaction was WTF. I done good.
          I need to ETA on this one. Cathy was selling good shirts at Howdycon this year. Me and MC1R always try to get him a shirt when we are out and about. So when I say “I Done Good” it’s because I know at some point he will not have done laundry and will have to resort to it. It’s a great shirt by the way.

      • PeaceMaker

        I like that, which gently makes fun of the idea that the ASC is some devious entity, and not just people on the internet who like cats (and dogs) – and who think that Scientology should start treating its human staff and members at least a well as most people treat their pets.

        • ya, it’s pretty deep on lots of levels (j/k) … someone once said that taming the Bunker is like herding cats, we post lots of cat pics, Tony can be the dog pushing the cart (even though he’s more of a cat person), and the expressions on their faces seem to represent what most of us are thinking most of the time (astonished, smiley, and confused = ASC) … lulz ;P

          eti – thx, btw

          • iampissed

            Don’t forget wrinkle dog.

      • GrangerFX

        Acronym Suppression Committee

    • PeaceMaker

      I’m always a bit hesitant about snark that is too blatant, when at the heart of the matter people are being abused, and when the perpetrators would like to paint whistle-blowers and critics as people not to be taken seriously.

      That being said, I would at least suggest the idea of using a cent Β’ sign rather a dollar one, to play on the reality that the ASC doesn’t really have the big bucks and pharma supporters.

      • Puget Buckeye

        Sort of to symbolize that when it comes to cults, we’re more the budget friendly version. Like the difference between brand name and store brand.

        • Supper Powers

          We are an off brand cult. Next, we’ll be the dented can sale of cults.

          • Puget Buckeye

            Or we’ll be tagged “irregular” like the socks my mom used to buy us when we were kids!

      • flyonthewall

        u ieto yha

        • iampissed

          Ok I Googled it

          used by 12 year old girls on MSN messenger instead of “yuh huh”, which is used instead of the traditional “yes”. It makes them look ‘cool’ and aloof. Apparently.

          • flyonthewall

            on

            • iampissed

              I just follow the Googles.

    • We do periodically troll Scientology for fun and big pharma checks. There are some graphics people on here who have the skills to put something good together. We should be able to come up with something. Here’s my meager try.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a2f7349f7fb226cd298dc8d1bd35ee0b29babfe6bc2b30e206ca02dcc3ea87b6.jpg

      • iampissed

        Hey you gave it a go.

        • The little troll thing doesn’t really work though.

          • iampissed

            You have bigger things to work for.
            ETA…Ya.

          • Puget Buckeye

            Maybe if it had lime green hair.

      • Baby

        When I worked at the Crittenton home with pregnant and parenting teenagers.. I had a young mother.. ( Like 16 ) who had a male child. ( 9 mo) She was placed in our home with her son so she could be observed and reports written ( by me) to ensure that her son was safe.

        Well he wasn’t because she was a pediphile ..I’ve written about this before. The county wanted the son taken away from her, but needed concrete evidence that she was abusing her son. So we monitored very closely. I caught her in the act when she was diapering her baby at an AA meeting behind a curtain… ( Long story) but baby was removed instantly.

        The reason I am bringing this up is that when sexual abuse specialist came to our facility to take the baby away he observed a large collection of Troll babies ( Like above) on her shelving.

        He informed me that it was a HUGE red flag because these trolls represented Naked babies to her.

        ( Let me make it clear that I am NOT saying that those who collect or have these trolls are Pediphiles ) I”m saying that with this girl’s behavior and family history coupled with the trolls indicated unhealthy sexual desire for her baby.

        So everytime I see those baby Trolls my skin crawls remembering those days..

        • Puget Buckeye

          OMG Baby. And here I am harping on Chee to work trolls into the ASC logo or whatever. I only keep mentioning it because Marty called us a troll farm and it stuck with me. If you like, I won’t bring them up again. I’ll switch my fixation to something else, OK?

          • Baby

            Oh honey.. I think Trolls are a cute idea ..Maybe just not the Nekked ones.. ha..

            I’m fine.. You know how things just trigger a memory ? I remember the investigator saying..
            ” Think about it… It is a Naked Baby..” When I asked him about why it would be a red flag..

            I learned something that day.. But the good news is that the baby was taken away from her. She was one Mentally sick girl.

        • JaxNGold

          Holy shit. I’m so repulsed. What the hell kind of mother wants to molest her own baby?! Utterly disgusting.

          • Baby

            A very sick one Jax.. Her whole entire family was Mentally Ill and it was just the norm.

    • FredEX2

      I don’t know Chee, but here’s an idea for the ASC ‘salute’ πŸ˜‰
      F5 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3f01d618258ded875dfd13932c8cca429f719c545d578a638beb8980d536b803.gif

      • iampissed

        Baby dose that sort of with her vape pen.

        • Baby

          YEP! And you guys thought I was vapin e juice.. ( Wink Wink)

      • Chee Chalker

        Love it!

    • Puget Buckeye

      Chee, It’s me again. You know the one who keeps going on about trolls. How about a troll wearing a Guy Fawkes mask? Do you think Anonymous would mind?
      ETA an additional thought. Make it 3 trolls to represent the Troika.

      • Chee Chalker

        Yes – we have to work in the Troika somehow since they are the leaders
        of the ASC! I think the idea of the Guy Fawkes mask is also a good idea….or maybe we should have ASC uniforms?
        Kind of like fake navy uniforms….

        • Puget Buckeye

          I toyed with that thought. But I wouldn’t want to disrespect our real military. Stillgrace came up with the idea of brown suit jackets and shorts.

    • KingofSweden

      Whatever symbols /characters are chosen…… they should be shown on the Front Porch…. of Infinity.
      (Or waitβ€” should it be the Back Porch of Infinitesimality?) [head explodes]

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    Wog Prediction: Based on the look on this guy’s face, after he gets about 2 chapters into Dianetics, he’s gonna come back and threaten to kick somebody’s ass if he doesn’t get refund.
    (refresh)
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/600610d2b1b9b189f16cbe82c358cd3f201940f8e548588526059389cdc74154.jpg

    • Hold them tight buddy, the Sea Org recruiters are hovering nearby.

  • grundoon
    • Michael Leonard Tilse

      It was always Enchanter as far as I know. I had never heard Enchantress.

  • Intergalactic Walrus
    • Gflded Kim

      How do you get all this info! Amazin’ πŸ‘

      • Baby

        We have a LOT of snoopers on the Bunker..

        We are have the absolute Best SHOOPERS and SNOOPERS!

        • Gflded Kim

          Oh I know. But Walrus seems exceptional ..

          • Baby

            We would only allow an Exceptional Walrus on the bunker G.. ha..xo

            • Gflded Kim

              πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    • Puget Buckeye

      I didn’t realize a mission could go “Ideal”. I thought it was just Orgs. Interesting.

  • grundoon

    Mission Into Time by whole-track ladies’ man L. Ron Hubbard

    I used to have a pretty good time around Carthage – nice sailing water and so on. Around 200 B.C., I knew a girl over in Nora (it wasn’t called Nora then) who was the current Goddess of Tanit and a good-looking girl. … It was usually a good thing that I called into Nora with a war vessel because it was almost a matter of war. The girl would say, “Hey, how are YOU?” and all the other guys didn’t have a chance for a while. If you’ve got enough war vessels and you’re making enough dough, girls usually say this. I probably could have had more duels than sunrises because this was quite a girl. She’d throw all the local swains over the hill and ARC Break everyone in the place.

    There had been a secret entrance into the Temple of Tanit and, from my recall, I drew up the plans of both it and the Temple. …

    We promptly went down there and laid our eyes on the Temple of Tanit as a ruined platform. Missions were sent ashore to survey and map the area to see if they couldn’t discover this old secret entrance to the temple as the target that would demonstrate the whole track memory.

    We lowered boats and rowed back and forth and sent people ashore. They looked it all over and came up with a result. And now I’m going to call on Hana Eltringham to tell you whether or not it was a positive result.

    Hana Eltringham:

    That most certainly was a positive result. We found the base of the old temple right on top of the hill. It was built on a piece of land jutting out into the sea and it had water on three sides of it.

    There was the platform, right on top of a small rise. The foundations were there. It was oblong like it should have been and, over to the one side of it, we did find the tunnel. It looked like a ditch about six feet deep, about fourteen feet long and about four feet wide. It led from the side of the rise right up next to the foundation of the temple but not on the same level.

    We scraped around the bottom of the ditch and found it was tiled underneath a thin layer of dust and dirt. Going up right to the top of the ditch, we found a few rocks which formed a type of wall against the temple.

    We kept on digging there until we were quite convinced that this was the ditch that led into the basement of the temple. So, that was totally proven and accurate.

    So, on to our next adventure, with this one positive. Incidentally, I heaved a few sighs over the fact that the girl wasn’t still there.

    The secret entrance to the Temple of Tanit. In the background is an ancient Spanish watchtower.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d82860233a9de7e7c0d65c0460abbae57843ce997e2468e4aeb1817c14b17cf7.jpg

    Missionaires Philip Quirino (standing) and Ray Thacker (right) investigate the secret entrance to the Temple…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/59bc49aedb3779fbc4ba8c0a043dcfeda95f4128a9e624e11438a7d1d3d37f9d.jpg

    Missionaires digging inside the secret entrance…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c26d235c320fe508613142eb23f1e69f0c6704ae00e6f98f93b33a968c5a705a.jpg

    • Qbird

      Oh as if!!!

      I heave…

      :::ep of Ron’s stupid story:::

    • GrangerFX

      “Ron said to dig in this hole so here we are scrabbling around with our bear hands to prove that he had sex on this very spot 2000 years ago. Lucky us!”

      Look at how they are dressed. They had no idea when they woke up that morning that they would be going on an archeological dig. They had no idea what they were looking at. They said it was Roman because Elwrong told them it was not due to any actual facts. The spot is now named the “Temple of Taint”.

    • chukicita

      Wow. Ron found a Numidian root cellar.

      What a douchebag.

    • Len Zinberg

      L Ron Hubbard, researcher, employing his version of the scientific method: “And now I’m going to call on Hana Eltringham to tell you whether or not we had a positive result.”
      No coercion there…(sarcasm alert)

  • Observer
    • Qbird

      you just made Mr. Q laugh ! XD

    • Supper Powers

      That what I look like trying to get into a sweater.

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    A new CO$ front group?
    “Just Help – Real Charity Run by Ordinary People”

    “Just Help is a newly established grassroots organization that will connect and enable individuals to volunteer for causes they care about by providing them with educational tools centered around basic Human Rights education. No politics or hidden agendas…just help!”

    They have deleted their Facebook page but seem to be populated by clams: http://wejusthelp.org/the-just-help-team/
    http://www.truthaboutscientology.com/stats/by-name/c/cristal-logothetis.html
    http://www.truthaboutscientology.com/stats/by-name/s/sivan-ohavim.html
    http://www.truthaboutscientology.com/stats/by-name/n/nathan-strack.html
    http://www.truthaboutscientology.com/stats/by-name/t/talia-harari.html

    • Puget Buckeye

      “No hidden agendas” Yeah, right.

      • Liberated

        Their entire existence is a hidden agenda.

  • PerpetualOutflow

    Thumbing through this issue of ISN, bursting with wall-to-wall photos of cheering crowds of $cientologists all over the world and on the Breakwinds, its purpose seems abundantly clear: to convince those remaining that despite all indications and allegations to the contrary, $cientology is booming everywhere and all is well in the clampire.

    • Of course. Outflow = In flow. Ignore all other indicators and get your ethics in!!

  • Ideal World. Lol. Kind of like Bridge To Total Freedom.

    • stillgrace2

      I was listening to Joni Mitchell in the car today. There was a lyric that reminded me of the Total Bridge.
      “He spent all his silver, on a promise to be free.” I wonder ….

      • Add Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway To Heaven”…

      • Liberated

        You know, now that you mention it I think Joni had a boyfriend that was a clam, and I think that reference might have been about Scientology.

        • PeaceMaker

          Good catch.

          “He stakes all his silver. On a promise to be free.” might refer to Leonard Cohen, with whom she was involved briefly in 1967, and 1968 (the year the song was released). He apparently got into several movements of the era:

          “I remember riding down Sunset with Leonard on the way to a restaurant that was some kind of Indian religion or fellowship, with white women in saris. We passed a building, a little shack that had a hand-painted sign that said β€œScientology,” and I said to Leonard, β€œWhat’s Scientology?” and he said it was some crackpot religion. He later joined Scientology in New York, then found it kind of scary and got out. He eventually took up with a monk at Mount Baldy, a Japanese Zen roshi. There came another time that we went, Leonard and I, to see the great Karmapa, who was the head of ChΓΆgyam Trungpa’s lineage. He was visiting L.A. and he was in the home of a Hollywood movie star, with a podium, kind of, built up for him. Leonard had gone on behalf of his roshi. I had gone along with him.” http://cohencentric.com/2007/03/31/leonard-cohen-and-joni-mitchell-just-one-of-those-things/

          • Liberated

            Thanks, you did that faster than I ever could have.:-)

        • Good guess! According to David Crosby, Dawntreader (the song Gracie referenced) is about David Crosby, though:
          http://jonimitchell.com/library/view.cfm?id=1357

          and that live Jefferson Airplane album from yesterday kicks ass πŸ˜‰ https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5be52d6895d6dc4432a72b9878a799c0a3a56cd7d2bbb42d6838ae47e8a6cc4b.jpg

          • Liberated

            Don’t ya just love the name of that album ?

            Bless its pointed little head…..cracks me up every time. πŸ™‚

            ps. my fav song – it’s no secret.

            • yes! when i replied to J. Swift yesterday, I asked him if he thought the album title might have been dedicated to anyone we might know … he replied “COB” … hahaha!

              i just went back and listened … that’s a great song. i like the trippy vibe of Bear Melt, too. reminds me of the live version of Zeppelin’s Dazed & Confused, a bit. i’ve gone back and learned so much about the late 60s-70s stuff i missed out on the first time around. when i was a kid, and although the bands i liked were influenced by those earlier bands, it all sounded like dirty hippie music to me and i didn’t get it. such a different and exciting time for music. now i’m the dirty hippie.

            • Liberated

              Hey, who ya callin’ dirty….I’ve always been a very clean hippie.

            • ;P all my stoner friends (i got along w/ everybody, tho, from the nerds to the jocks & cheerleaders) that liked Zep/Floyd/Grateful Dead/etc wore smelly jean jackets and always reeked of cigarette smoke. back then, i thought weed was the worst. never even tried it until i was well into my 20s. but i’m w/ you on “clean hippie” … when i used to tour, i’d feel so gross if i couldn’t shower for 2 days. yuck.

            • Liberated

              You’re my kinda duck.:-)
              There’s so many records I could talk about with you that I would get to be obnoxious -so just one comes to mind right now.

              Derek and the Dominoes ….it’s on my top 5 of all time.
              Don’t ask me the other 4 – I can handle the stress πŸ™‚

  • Kim O’Brien

    Off Topic – i am watching a documentary about the MIT team who went to Vegas to count cards and make $$ . I can’t even understand the ” easy version” that they are explaining to ppl who are too stupid to understand the
    ” counting cards version ” . How is my kid in advance math ? And why can’t i take a 15 year old to Vegas to count cards ?

    • Puget Buckeye

      Fake ID?

    • Liberated

      There’s a movie about that called 21.

      • Baby

        That was good Lib..

      • Kim O’Brien

        using the google now …

    • Baby

      I love Docs.. What’s it called darlin?

    • Baby

      Kim I keep forgetting to tell you.. I loved the hotel you picked out for us at HC.. Seriously .. It was close to everything and I just felt pampered. Which I really needed.

      The patio area was perfect for all of us to meet up. I stayed the 5 days and enjoyed every day.. slept in when I needed to.. so got caught up with not only my Peeps but my sleep. Absolutely perfect vacation for me.. Thank you..

      • Puget Buckeye

        Oh, man! I wish I was there!

        • Baby

          It was so nice Buck.. They were like suites.. and I got away from Mac and the dogs.. It was glorious.

    • Juicer77

      Come sit by me. Numbers make my thinker hurt.

  • Baby

    O/T ( Do we even have to say that..ha)

    Cleaned out my purse..found this really good lemon smelling hand cream from the hotel at HC.. so I told my nephew to hold out his hand..He’s like ” Why..” and I said .. ” Just do it..” ” I don’t want to..” ( He’s 30 )

    ” I said for Pete’s sake quit being a baby just do it.. ” So he did.. and I put it on his hand and I said now smear it around.. which he did.. and he said..” It’s sticky.. ” ” NO it’s not.. it makes your hands feel really good..and it smells wonderful.. Put it on your arms”

    ” Well I think it sucks..I hate it.. ” ” I can’t believe that you will complain about everything. ” Then he goes to the sink to wash it off and he’s like.. ” Ugh..it’s Bubbly..” ( ????)

    OMG hahhahahahahah I gave him the shampoo instead of the hand cream.. and it was smeared all over him..

    • Pia Pill

      OMG …. that is something I would do!!! Too funny; actually made me laugh out loud ….. Don’t let me forget to tell you a true story about my brother and I ……😊

      • Baby

        Whenever you are ready to tell your story I am listening darlin..xo

    • ombrifuge

      A story about cleaning out a purse is not O/T.

      $cientlogy is cleaning out people’s purses on a daily basis.

      • Baby

        Great Point Om!! Of course ! I should have thought about it!

    • UhLasare

      I laughed out loud at this, then again in the shower when washing my hair. Thanks. πŸ˜‚

      • Baby

        I love to hear that I’ve made someone laugh Uh.. I NEVER tell jokes.. Real life is funnier to me.. ha.. ( Thanks! )

        If you would have seen his face you would have died laughing..Hysterical!

    • balletlady

      OMG….THAT brought back a long time ago “adventure”. A few of us had been out of state on a business conference. When we left, of course, we took the bathroom “sundries” with us since we have been using them.
      While at work the next day, my friend whipped out the hand cream we had taken from the hotel. One of the other ladies who had not been on the business conference trip asked to use some, so my friend placed the hand cream in this woman’s hands.
      Within FIVE MINUTES this woman’s hands became beet red and began to itch uncontrollably, she then broke out into HIVES!!! An emergency room hospital visit was done immediately………..
      Trying to be NICE doesn’t pay sometimes!

  • Intergalactic Walrus
    • Nat-leficent

      I can’t wait till this place is shut down.

    • KingofSweden

      Audit BABIES!?!?!

      • Puget Buckeye

        I can’t even imagine how that would work. I know it might be very easy to have negative thoughts about Scientology, but can a 4 week old form an opinion?

        • balletlady

          If you agree with this statement, roll over on your left side…..if you disagree with this statement roll over on your right side…..and for God’s Sake….no spit ups or pooping!!!

      • Intergalactic Walrus

        Well, not newborns. You have to wait until they are a few months old. Little babies can be such slackers. SMH

    • JaxNGold

      Unbelievable. Those poor children. Now I wanna smash something.

    • Juicer77

      Ugh

  • Puget Buckeye

    Not totally O/T When DM travels to the openings of the Ideal Org, does he fly commercial or private? Borrow one of TC’s planes?

    • NerdHerd

      I thought Karen Pouw took Dave personally on her broomstick…..

      • Puget Buckeye

        Wait! She really exists? But she NEVER calls TO back!

        • NerdHerd

          Heck, I think the only voices she answers to are DM’s and the ones in her head πŸ˜‰

    • KingofSweden

      Davey climbs onto her back, Monique Yingling starts flapping her eyelashes, and they are off… propelled into the air by a combination of mendacity and mascara (but watch out for the Apostate Air Force, COB)!!

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      Carried aloft by Winged Monkeys, of course.

  • Pearl Wisdom

    Off topic here but I just read where the Actor from True Blood, Nelson Ellis, died today at the age of 39. His father said he tried to quit his alcohol addiction and withdrawals by himself without doctors help. I happen to love his actor and was sad to hear of his death. The reason I’m bringing this up is a few years ago i saw this actor, on stage, at The Scientology Celebrity Center Christmas Show. I was quite surprised to see him there. I’m wondering if he was a “Closet Scientologist”? There are some actors who do not want to ruin their acting careers by coming out as a member of this cult. I saw a number of them coming and going down the secret staircases into the garage so not to be seen by the public. I wonder if he was doing their Purif, drug rundown, etc in order to stop alcohol/drugs? I personally know that Scientology DOES NOT accept Alcoholism or drug addiction as a disease that needs to be treated by medical means. I know this Because I was an alcoholic the entire time I was in this group (25 years) and attempted to get clean and sober with their help (3 Purifs and the same amount of drug counseling) Of course it didn’t work for any length of time and I finally left that crazy group. Shortly after leaving I had a Declared Ex=Scientology Auditor tell me that AA would help me. I took her advice and I’m now clean and sober for five years (due to the AA program which worked for me). Just saying and wondering. I’m so sorry he didn’t find help to be this terrible disease.

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    You-know-who hasn’t posted a you-know-what since Saturday. Is the deluge finally over? *fingers crossed*

    • Puget Buckeye

      I think it’s good to wish. But, I also think there’s many more people he can alienate. He’s only getting started.

      • Supper Powers

        I would like to believe he received a cease and desist for his attacks on a couple of people who would be considered private citizens. But, whatever. He self immolated. And while I try to avoid short jokes when writing about DM, that sentence autocorrected to “elf immolated” and made me chuckle.

        • Puget Buckeye

          Wow! My mind didn’t go the legal route. The cease and desist is an interesting theory. That’s something meaty to chew on. (do you suppose your autocorrect is wog?)

          • Supper Powers

            It’s not really a theory. I wouldn’t spend too much time thinking about it.

            My autocorrect is a smartass teenager who attends a very expensive prep school.

            • NerdHerd

              LOL is that “someone” being treated like the Dark Lord? “He who shall not be named……”

            • Puget Buckeye

              I think it’s the Dark Brown lord. Lord with a little “L”

            • NerdHerd

              HAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg I saw that and swallowed my soda the wrong way πŸ˜€

            • Puget Buckeye

              As long as it didn’t come out your nose. That hurts.

        • Good point – I wonder if most of the people he has gone for could use the European ‘right to be forgotten’ to have links to those videos removed from search engine results throughout the EU?

  • Puget Buckeye

    Time to say goodnight to the Bunker and the screen. I’m out.

    • NerdHerd

      Good night 😁

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    Hehe. I know I’ve been reading The Underground Bunker too long because when I read the announcement about the casting of the new Marvel heroine “Squirrel Girl”, the first thing I thought of was this mess…
    (refresh)

    https://villagevoice.freetls.fastly.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/squirrelbusterstrio.jpg

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/00cce4ae8d81814d7723d33ad22d8663f8078bb6acf9fa1e076365e152df33d9.png

  • John Prince

    “Thank You to the Amazing Inferior Wogs of New Zealand.I’ve had a fantabulous time trying to salvage my plummeting superbeingness, making another sillyass movie nobody wants to see”

  • Baby

    For those who are unaware or forgot.. Headley’s were informed that if they ratted on their friends..Well.. just listen
    ( Cough .. Marty ratting on his friends..)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7kUMZ28tLs

  • BuberZionist

    Napier’s stats must have crashed years ago. His ship can’t even afford the cost of fuel.