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Scientology may be crumbling, but around the world it’s still plotting a planetary takeover

Rod Keller is staying on top of new developments with Scientology missions and orgs around the world. Here’s this week’s roundup…

While work is still stopped on Scientology’s planned “Advanced Org” in Mexico City, that hasn’t stopped the church from preparing its members for an eventual grand opening. A new flier invites locals to a meeting to get a briefing on the project, and, no doubt, to get hit up for donations for it.

“Are you ready for the Advanced Org? Report by a Class IX C/S. International Management special guest. Epic Announcements about your Advanced Organization. Special presentations on the preparations for the opening of your Advanced Organization.” Clearly, Scientology is not prepared to give up its investment in the former Palmas Plaza mall. The flyer features the iconic arched entrance to the mall….


At the same time, Scientologists are being prepared for the opening of the new Ideal Advanced Org in South Africa. The former Kyalami Castle Hotel near Johannesburg was purchased in 2008 to become Advanced Org Saint Hill Africa (AOSH AF). As was the case in Mexico, Scientology has had problems with permits to convert the hotel into an Advanced Org, Continental Liaison Office and hotel for visiting Public Scientologists. Activity on the ground and the Internet may indicate they have solved that problem, or are prepared to renovate in secret without permits.


As a Sea Org base the new facility will need a “berthing” in which the crew are housed in cramped quarters. The current berthing on Cynthia Street will not hold an additional 100 Sea Org members, so it’s likely that an apartment building in the area is being converted for use. Typically multiple bunk beds are put in each bedroom, living and dining rooms because any time the crew isn’t sleeping is spent working.

L. Ron Hubbard believed that “public relations area control” is necessary for expansion, and in South Africa that means bringing in copies of the booklet The Way to Happiness written by Hubbard by the truckload.


At the Advanced Org Saint Hill ANZO in Chatswood West, Australia Scientology has not yet purchased a hotel for public Scientologists to use during their stay. Instead they have asked neighbors if they would be willing to rent their homes by the week or month. Relations with the community are strained, and a “marketing director” recently called the local civic association to ask how they can be improved. The response is that the community would like them to honor their promise regarding noise, and to allow more access to the grounds of the base. That might be possible if this facility were still a laboratory or an office building, but it is now a paramilitary pseudo-naval base and Scientology cannot allow non-members access to the grounds. They purchased a gated facility to prevent prying eyes, not invite them in to learn how to ride bicycles.


In Copenhagen Scientology will open a new Continental Ideal Org on May 27. Balance among continents is important in Scientology, and each Advanced Org has an associated lower level “Class V” org. Saint Hill has London. Flag Land Base has Tampa. Chatswood West has Sydney. And now AOSH EU in Copenhagen will have the Denmark Ideal Org located on the Nytorv public square and part of the Strøget public walkway and shopping district that runs through the center of the city.


Meanwhile, in New Zealand, the new Ideal Org in Auckland apparently has big plans for expansion, as the photo below shows. On the map behind these two staff members, new missions have been plotted, 10 that we can see. It’s Scientology policy that each org should develop 10 missions around it to provide introductory courses and send members to the Class V org for higher level courses. We can only see the north island in the photo, but there are mission sites in Hamilton, Rotorua, Napier and Wellington. We believe the inset on the left of the map represents the planned Fiji mission. South island missions are unknown, but would have to include Christchurch and Dunedin.


The only New Zealand mission, in Christchurch, closed a few years ago, and despite the map there is little danger of New Zealand being the site of so much expansion. The plan depends on finding 10 wealthy Scientologists who are each willing to purchase a “mission pack” from the church for tens of thousands of dollars. Packs are actually dozens of boxes, and include all the books and forms needed to run a bookstore and operate the mission. They would also have to quit their jobs or retire to run the mission.


The Executive Director would have the training level Staff Status 2 or higher, and recruit at least two more Scientologists who are also Staff Status 2. The course pack for this level is 170 pages of checklists and policy letters by L. Ron Hubbard on how to run an organization, such as the requirement to have three baskets for mail on every desk for in, out and pending. They would also have to overcome the unpopularity of Scientology in New Zealand to bring members of the public in for courses.

The map doesn’t represent a fully realized plan, it’s an attempt to create reality through the power of postulates, one of the core theories in Scientology. Putting postulates into the physical universe is one step that leads to their eventual completion. If the theory were true, there would be a ring of 10 missions around the Las Vegas, Madrid or Pretoria Ideal Orgs.

— Rod Keller


Clearing the planet, one pamphlet at a time

Our thanks to the reader in Los Angeles who sent us some really fine photos of Scientology “body routers” on the streets of Los Angeles trying, desperately, to find new victims, er, customers, uh, spiritual seekers. Whatever.

We’re seeing some great facial expressions here. What do they suggest to you?



David Wills strikes again, this time with Aldous Huxley

Literary critic David Wills is developing an interesting sub-genre all his own: He’s revealing the ways that traditional critics have ignored the influence Dianetics and Scientology had on some of literature’s greatest names.

In 2013, we had a brief interview with him about his book Scientologist!, in which he showed how much William Burroughs’s biographers were ignoring the author’s deep interest in Scientology and how it showed up in his work in the 1960s. By ignoring this part of Burroughs’s life, Wills argued, critics were missing some important ways to think about his books.

Now, Wills is back, making the same case for Aldous Huxley, author of Brave New World. In a smart essay, Wills explains that Huxley and his wife Maria, who were living in Los Angeles, fell under the spell of Dianetics when it came out in 1950, and even got processing from L. Ron Hubbard himself. After Maria died of cancer in 1955, Huxley continued to explore dianetics processing with his second wife, Laura, and included dianetics among the ideas he explores in his final novel, Island.

As with Burroughs, Wills says, critics have been missing out by not taking more seriously Huxley’s interest in Hubbard’s ideas: “They miss the fact that one of [Huxley’s] great preoccupations was dianetics.”

What an interesting niche Wills has found for himself. We can hardly wait to see which author he exposes for a Hubbardite next!


Countdown to Denver!


HowdyCon 2017: Denver, June 23-25 at the Residence Inn Denver City Center. Go here to start making your plans, and book your room soon!


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley has not seen his daughter Stephanie in 4,757 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 1,860 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 2,354 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 1,394 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy in 1,106 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 632 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 4,721 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 1,861 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 2,181 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 2,156 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 512 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin in 4,814 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 921 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis for 1,323 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 1,196 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 777 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike in 1,282 days.
Mary Jane Sterne has not seen her daughter Samantha in 1,526 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 12,635 days.


3D-UnbreakablePosted by Tony Ortega on May 21, 2017 at 07:00

E-mail tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information about the book, and our 2015 book tour, can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2016 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Undergound Bunker (2012-2016), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of L.A. attorney and former church member Vance Woodward
UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists
GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice
SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

Other links: Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | Scientology boasts about assistance from Google | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our Guide to Alex Gibney’s film ‘Going Clear,’ and our pages about its principal figures…
Jason Beghe | Tom DeVocht | Sara Goldberg | Paul Haggis | Mark “Marty” Rathbun | Mike Rinder | Spanky Taylor | Hana Whitfield


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  • Mick Roberts

    I’m late to this rodeo today (family time today), but as for Scientology plotting a planetary takeover…..only Miscavige “has the fucking rank” (Tommy boy quote) to plot ANYTHING in this organization, and I don’t even think he’s plotting that anymore.

    These days, my money is on the theory that he’s only plotting how to keep his gravy train going until he’s dead and buried and gone personally made the decision to drop his body to go on to further research with LRH on Target 2…..or something along those line……

    And as I read through these comments today, I certainly hope the Bunker crew didn’t disappoint with some captions on the body routers’ facial expressions.

    • Mick Roberts

      Nope, they didn’t disappoint. But one of our expert shoopers really needs to take the photo of LRH with his left hand on the globe, and change it to make him bald, move his right arm/hand to put a pinky to his mouth, and give him one of those stupid Dr. Evil smirks on his face.

      Bonus points if you shoop Miscavige on the image with an LRH caption where he quotes Dr. Evil and says “Finally, we come to my number two man. His name? Number two.”

    • PeaceMaker

      Mick, I think it’s hard to say with fanatics, and people enmeshed in schemes – and situations where maybe both are at play. Particularly with real sociopaths (and/or the insane), their motives and machinations are so removed from our sense of normal behavior that it is difficult to even conceive of, and that’s one of the ways they succeed at taking advantage of people.

      My best guess is that for at least some of the true believers around Miscavige, it’s like Ponzi scheme thinking; they are desperately trying to keep the scheme going, while hoping that some stroke of luck will finally save them, from a world crisis driving people into the orgs to a reincarnated Hubbard himself showing up. I think that Miscavige may believe – and justify – that as leader, what is in his best interest is also in Scientology’s best interest, but I think it’s also likely that he is wrapped up in some sort of belief about what he’s doing, whether it is that Scientology really has a chance of taking over or something more warped.

      • Mick Roberts

        “I think that Miscavige may believe – and justify – that as leader, what
        is in his best interest is also in Scientology’s best interest”

        I think you hit the nail on the head there PeaceMaker (as well as with the rest of your comment).

  • STAAD sends a, hell and high water, letter to another truth site that also stand’s up for the other truth

    • Liberated

      Don’t you love the hypocrisy ?

    • Intergalactic Walrus

      That reminds me – what happened to Freedom Magazine? They haven’t pooped out an issue since February. Did no one answer their want ads or what? Hehe

      • That one is still on display inside my local org.

    • Intergalactic Walrus

      And that last bit about respecting the religious beliefs of others also reminds me of this posted the other day by Juliette Lewis’s mom Glenis Batley. She thinks it’s good to burn down refugee camps for Muslim refugees. How THETA of her…

      • WhiteCentauress

        Should be “Batty”, not Batley. That’s horrible.

      • Liberated

        Gee whiz…that’s a pretty down-tone thing to say !

      • EmmaDaoust

        There have been a couple of disaster movies wherein there’s a new ice age/major climate change/Godzilla etc etc and all of us northern hemisphere people are forced to migrate south or die. Borders in Africa and Mexico are shut down. Mayhem ensues. Political leaders are begging the southern neighbours for help. People like Glenis Batley, and they are legion, sadly, should really give their heads a shake. Have some fucking compassion.

      • People should start asking their “Opinion leaders” why those people are there in the first place.

    • Sherbet

      Hate bigotry intolerance hate intolerance yadda yadda yadda. Heard it all before.

  • salin

    Reminder to click recommend for today’s Bunker installment. LRon’s (1940-50s) sci-fi imagined cosmology has nothing on nature’s cosmology. Earlier today in Saskatchewan, Canada. Another easy way to support our proprietor’s work – when going to amazon for an order – instead of putting Amazon in your browser, come back to the Bunker, and use the Amazon link gives a bit of support from Amazon to Tony’s site.

  • Cathy Schenkelberg in St. Louis:

    Photo Flash: Solo Show SQUEEZE MY CANS Explores Escape from Scientology

    The Church of Scientology owned actress Cathy Schenkelberg for 14 years. Citilites Theatre brings this engaging writer-performer to St. Louis to perform her new original solo show “Squeeze My Cans” for six performances (May 31 – June 4, 2017) at The Gaslight Theater.

    She’s gaslighting CoS?

  • WhiteCentauress

    Used a quote from today’s discussion to add to the Hubris-ness of it all.

  • Tony Ortega

    My contribution to today’s fun…

    The batarang was exceedingly clever, Mr. Trump. But until you wank onto parchment in the presence of sex magick, you are no L. Ron Hubbard— Tony Ortega (@TonyOrtega94) May 22, 2017

    • WhiteCentauress

      I saw that on Twitter. Bravo!!

    • Mick Roberts

      I’m reading Bare-faced Messiah now, and all that Jack Parsons stuff was……disturbing (to put it mildly). If I recall correctly, I thought it was Parsons who “spilled his seed” on the parchment while Hubbard watched and recorded the, uhm…..”ceremony” (not that that makes it any better).

      • Tony Ortega

        Hubbard was the “scribe” and used his “wand” on parchment while Jack fucked Marjorie.

        • Mick Roberts

          Ahh, thanks.

        • Supper Powers

          Well, that just took the romance out of the evening.

          • Sherbet

            Thank God Hubs didn’t have YouTube back then.

            • Supper Powers

              Are you trying to make me barf?!?

            • Sherbet

              Misery loves company. Insomnia is bad. Insomnia while thinking of lrh whacking his “wand” is really, REALLY bad.

            • Supper Powers

              I hate Tony.

            • Sherbet

              Let’s form our own ASC.

            • Supper Powers

              I don’t know. TO is pretty good cult leader. Let me think about this.

            • Sherbet

              Yeah, you’re right. I love Tony.

            • Puget Buckeye

              Because he paints such a clear picture with his words and you’d rather have an abstract? I understand.

            • Sherbet

              I’d rather have a blindfold.

            • Puget Buckeye

              Or brain bleach.

            • EmmaDaoust
            • Mick Roberts

              What do you think LRH actually wrote on that parchment when his “magic” was finally…….”unleashed”……?

            • Sherbet

              I don’t know, but I hope it wasn’t a note to the milkman.

            • Mick Roberts
            • Puget Buckeye

              Next time you pick up a copy of Dianetics, I suggest you wear rubber gloves.

            • Mick Roberts

              I’ve never picked up one, and don’t care to pick up one, so I’m good. 😉

            • Liberated

              Eewww….I’ll never say the “w” word again !

            • I hardly ever slam a book shut as hard as I can…. but I would have been prepared to make an exception in that case.

        • TheKremlinCandidate

          Can’t decide between using ‘imagination’ or ‘graphic detail’, I see.

        • Kay (aka Nasty Lady)

          Yeah well that sounds EXACTLY like something Warren Jeffs and his leadership followers would do, and I’m deadly serious about that. Jeffs is making his followers do disturbing sexual practices by sending out “revelations” from jail. Check out the link below, but if this kind of content bothers you, don’t click on it as the content is more graphic than the link indicates.

          It seems like every extreme religious group whose behavior makes it hard to classify them as anything other than a bona fide cult vs. just an unusual religion, has leaders that get into aberrant/perverted sexual acts that escalate over time. I can’t think of a single cult I have dealt with that hasn’t had a leader who wasn’t involved in illegal or just plain revolting sexual behaviors, often in the presence of others. It’s an ultimate power and control thing. They are just a bunch of perverts, and that includes LRH for sure.

          • I agree – and speculate that Hubbard’s cruelty when he was at sea was partly down to the fact that his drug use and health issues had rendered him impotent. Since he was too afraid of doctors to have it treated he could do nothing about it- otherwise things might have been very different.

            The sexually repressive rules of the Sea Org came about because if Hubbard wasn’t getting, any he would insure that nobody else could – then take his frustration out on them.

            That abuse is usually part of a paternalistic system, too.

        • GrangerFX

          I love Tony’s tabloid news fetish.

        • sizzle8

          There was a rumor that there actually was an audio recording of this event.

        • chukicita

          Okay. No breakfast for me, then.

      • “Strange Angel” by George Pendle is the best of several books about Parsons who was a fascinating character. By day, a skilled and self-taught experimenter with explosives who invented solid rocked boosters – and a ‘black magician’.

        There is a crater on the moon named after him. Predictably, it’s on the dark side.

    • Sherbet

      I can’t stand Trump, but the fact that he’s no L. Ron Hubbard is a compliment.

      • EmmaDaoust

        Yes, but Hubbard’s got one very important thing going for him. He’s dead.

        • Sherbet

          Only until he gets back from Target Two, and then, Watch out, world.

          • WhiteCentauress
            • Sherbet

              That’s him, all right.

            • Puget Buckeye

              Nope, the teeth are all wrong.

            • Sherbet

              Ah, true. So’s the (lack of) hair.

            • WhiteCentauress

              Baby teeth.

            • The big guy would be Captain Underpants.

              I know, because I bought several books about the philosophy of social science from eBay once, The vendor got her wires crossed.She sent me several Captain Underpants books, instead and my books went to a young lad in London..

              We swapped them, and got a discount, so all was well – but I read all the Captain Underpants books first. They weren’t bad.

            • EmmaDaoust

              I wonder if the young lad had a gander at the philosophy books.

            • Hope so – everyone needs to know about Karl Popper and falsificationism 🙂

            • WhiteCentauress

              It fits him somehow, especially the ‘Kneel Here” sign.

        • WhiteCentauress

          Praise Zenu!!!!

    • It is a pretty strange and ritualistic looking thing for leaders of countries to be doing. Trump looks like he’s tapping into Xenu’s energy or something.

      • Puget Buckeye

        Or he’s touching one of those static electricity balls that makes your hair stand on end. Now, wouldn’t that be a sight!

        • Sherbet

          Puget, you and I are on the same track. See my post, above.

          • Puget Buckeye

            I did. Freaky. But I’m not sure which one of us should be more worried!

      • Sherbet

        If it’s one of those Van De Graaff generators like we used for electrical experiments in science class, Trump’s hair is about to stand on end. Run for your lives! There could be carnage!

        • Too funny. I was thinking of writing the same thing. I know, there could be fatalities if his hair gets loose.

          • Sherbet

            He should have donned a burnoose to hold the thing down. Just in case.

          • Puget Buckeye

            With that comb over, some of those hairs gotta be pretty long. Don’t stand to close. Might put out an eye!

      • Juicer77


    • Mick Roberts
    • GrangerFX

      The villains desperately tried to block the bat signal but it was too late!

    • dreamcatcher
  • Dramatic black and white selfie tonight. No hat, no glasses. No problem. Low light.

    • Jimmy3

      You’re one of the more handsome KGB agents

      • Спасибо, красавец.

        • Jimmy3

          No, I’ve never been to Siberia, but I hear it’s ice.

          • Puget Buckeye

            Better to keep the vodka cold.

      • Andrew Robertson

        He’d look even more sinister and menacing with a Chill E Bee beard styling!


    • Puget Buckeye

      Good looking and clever. A winning combination.

  • Newiga

    That picture of LRH with the giant globe has some serious Bond villain vibes. O_O

    • Juicer77

      The way he’s fondling that globe gives me the heebie jeebies.

      • Newiga

        Hubbard’s middle name should’ve been Heebie Jeebies. xD

  • $cnMonkeyNut$

    Morning/Afternoon/Evening all! Coffee’s on the left… … bar to the right… … while monkey finishes up the vacuuming, he thought he’d leave a summary of links to Pan’s excellent Missing Missions Mission series of comments.Starting with PickAnotherID’s list of missions from the IRS. First, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, twelfth, thirteenth, fourteenth, fifteenth, sixteenth, seventeenth, eighteenth, nineteenth, twentieth, twenty-first, twenty-second, twenty-third, twenty-fourth, twenty-fifth, twenty-sixth, twenty-seventh, twenty-eighth, twenty-ninth, thirtieth, thirty-first, thirty-second, thirty-third, thirty-fourth, thirty-fifth, thirty-sixth, thirty-seventh, thirty-eighth, thirty-ninth, fortieth, forty-first, forty-second, forty-third, forty-fourth, forty-fifth, forty-sixth, forty-seventh, forty-eighth, forty-ninth, due to Disqus day-drinking issues–the fiftieth Missing Missions Mission has been split into two parts: fiftieth part one, fiftieth part two, fifty-first, fifty-second, fifty-third, fifty-fourth, fifty-fifth, fifty-sixth, fifty-seventh, the fifty-eighth is another two-parter: fifty-eighth part one, fifty-eighth part two, fifty-ninth, sixtieth, sixty-first, sixty-second, sixty-third, the sixty-fourth is a Disqus-enabled two-parter: sixty-fourth part one, sixty-fourth part two. Huge thanks to Pan for putting all the work in investigating the missions, it’s an epic undertaking! Massive respect 🙂 (Monkey’ll keep this list updated when Pan adds new missions!)

    • OOkpik

      .Good morning, Monkey and thank you.
      You make a mean cup of morning joe, the bar looks great and I appreciate that you are keeping an updated list of the results of Pan’s fascinating series.

      • $cnMonkeyNut$

        Morning Owl… coffee’s got to have kick, otherwise what’s the point ;)SucculentDuck said (in a comment in the last couple of days) that it would be good to be able to see them all easily–I thought it was a great idea and promptly nicked it!

        • OOkpik

          I guess a few of us voiced the same idea but talk is cheap. Monkey rose to the occasion.

          OOkpik > Panopea Abrupta – 3 days ago

          It would be great to have this research you have painstakingly
          amassed and presented all in one place and easily accessible for future
          reference and updating as Scientology goes the way of the dodo.

          • $cnMonkeyNut$

            It was only made possible by Pan’s account being public (to my surprise). I was prepared to trawl throught each day’s article from when Pick posted the IRS list–but it would have taken much longer!

    • madame duran

      Thanks for compiling this list for us. Much appreciated. It would be nice if Tony creates a permanent web page with these links for future reference. I try to upvote each report so that it’s one of the top comments under “Best” if not THE top one. I wanna make it easy for Gemma/JAW on Twitter to see them. 🙂

      • $cnMonkeyNut$

        No worries 🙂 A permanent page would be a great idea, and anything to try and break through the (sadly almost impenetrable) bubble JAW and The Twit have surrounded themselves with has to be good!

    • UhLasare

      Thanks, Monkey!

    • Jenyfurrrrr

      Monkey, you rock… always! But this is especially awesome! Thanks for doing this. It’s very helpful to have it in one place – especially after the recent CO$ court filing where they claimed to have “dozens of missions and orgs in the greater LA area” and similar bull-shite thatbwe can point back here and go “NOT so much!!!”

    • Science Doc

      This might be hard to do, but a set of links based on State would be great. Everyone could check states they know about.

      • $cnMonkeyNut$

        Hi Doc, sorry about the delay answering–I’ll be adding details to the list (states/missions covered) once RL isn’t intruding as much as it is at the moment (should be towards the end of next week).