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One of Scientology’s most secretive temples is offering a rare look inside on Monday

 
Scientology may be shrinking, and it may be having a harder time finding new celebrity members, but there’s one thing that the church is still the undisputed champion of.

Printing.

Whole forests are denuded on a regular basis so Scientology leader David Miscavige can slap founder L. Ron Hubbard’s name on piles of new pamphlets and fliers and books, manufactured at a dizzying rate in a 185,000-square-foot plant in Commerce, California that the church says is the largest all-digital printing facility in the entire world.

And who are we to quibble? This place is obviously massive and state of the art, with a 121-ton press that can output 55,000 pages per hour, and with a myriad of other machines pumping out publications and design elements for all of the new Ideal Orgs Miscavige has been opening around the world.

Wouldn’t you love to get inside and sneak a peek? Well, you’ll get a chance this Monday.

The Southern California Postal Customer Council is holding an open house in the facility on Monday that will include tours.

 

 
If we were in town, we’d love to go. One of the things we’d like to hear more about is that the facility puts out so much mail, it has an assigned US Postal Service employee working inside the plant!

 

 
That makes us all kinds of curious about what that relationship is like. Is the postal employee, for example, aware that all of the young people feeding those machines are Sea Org members who have signed billion-year contracts, and work for pennies an hour, when they’re paid at all?

Maybe one of our readers can get inside and let us know what the place is like.

 

 
——————–

Kuba Ka, the God of Pop, has an announcement

 

[The Ineffable One makes history, again]

We had a lot of fun in March talking with Kuba Ka, “the God of Pop” — otherwise known as Polish entertainer Jakub Stepniak, who is either 31 or 26 years old and has so far eluded fame and fortune, despite the really over-the-top way he pursues it.

Kuba got on our radar because for a short while he was promoting himself as Scientology’s next top celebrity, and the church’s Celebrity Centre actually seemed to be going along with it. Kuba’s involvement was brief — he became a Celebrity Centre fixture in October, and by March he split with the church when it told him he couldn’t hold a birthday party at the Hollywood landmark because he wanted to bring in some ill children as part of his fundraiser.

We spoke first with a member of his entourage — which he called “Kuba Ka Empire” — a woman named Vikki Lizzi who was known previously as Jeff Conaway’s enabling companion. She told us she had warned Kuba about Scientology, and she predicted that the cancelled birthday party would result in a lawsuit. We had to admit that sounded like a lot of fun to us.

But then we talked directly to Kuba himself, as well as his mother and other members of his “Empire” in a two-hour Skype conversation that was simply delicious. Kuba told us that he got to meet Scientology leader David Miscavige twice, which was astounding in itself for someone with such a short involvement in the church — most Scientologists, even those in forty years, never get the privilege. It was another sign that for some reason, the Church of Scientology really did seem to consider Kuba Ka to be a budding star.

Anyway, we really enjoyed talking with Kuba, whom we found to be an intelligent and polite young man who maybe simply needed some better career advice. But then, shortly after that interview, Kuba made yet another monumental announcement on social media — he was “retiring.”

We weren’t sure how a 26/31-year-old retires from a career that hadn’t actually, you know, got going, but it appeared that what Stepniak was retiring from was being Kuba Ka. We sent an email and heard back from his cousin, Patrick, who told us that the empire had suffered a major setback, and Vikki Lizzi was now turned against them. (Lizzi didn’t respond to our text asking if that was true.) And then yesterday, Patrick asked us if we’d post a statement from the former God of Pop about his retirement, and we told him we would of course be happy to do so. So here goes.

At this Closure of KUBA Ka, I want to say: Scientology Celebrity Centre did WELCOME me and helped me to recover the huge Trauma. They did clean my Life from terrible People and Things. I left the Church, and referring to my Interview with very kind Tony Ortega. I want to confirm that I have no position regarding Scientology, I am just Neutral. I refused all other Interviews, and even big financial TV Appearance offer to talk about it. We all need to UNITE, there is enough of Segregation in the World. Also, if some of my own Ex Team Members would not fight over me at Scientology Celebrity Centre, I would still proceed with Plans I had for KUBA Ka, with Scientology. It was Grand Plan, but we all moved on. This way ALL of that is a completely closed Book.

I wish Very Best to Church of Scientology, I wish the Very Best to Ex Members of Scientology like Leah Remini, and to Those who witness any Problems inside or outside of ANY Church. Please understand, I just want to remain a “Peacekeeping Soldier.”

Peace & Love to All,

Muhammad Amir/ known for his acting Character of KUBA Ka

AMIR Corp

(formerly known as KUBA Ka Empire Inc.)

 
Muhammad/Kuba Ka/Jakub, thank you for thinking of us, and we wish you the best of luck. We can hardly wait to see where you go next.

 

 
——————–

Countdown to Denver!

 

 
HowdyCon 2017: Denver, June 23-25 at the Residence Inn Denver City Center. Go here to start making your plans, and book your room soon!

 
——————–

Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley has not seen his daughter Stephanie in 4,748 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 1,851 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 2,345 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 1,385 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy in 1,097 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 623 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 4,712 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 1,852 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 2,172 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 2,147 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 503 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin in 4,805 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 912 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis for 1,314 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 1,187 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 768 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike in 1,273 days.
Mary Jane Sterne has not seen her daughter Samantha in 1,517 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 12,626 days.

 
——————–

3D-UnbreakablePosted by Tony Ortega on May 12, 2017 at 07:00

E-mail tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information about the book, and our 2015 book tour, can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2016 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Undergound Bunker (2012-2016), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of L.A. attorney and former church member Vance Woodward
UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists
GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice
SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

Other links: Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | Scientology boasts about assistance from Google | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our Guide to Alex Gibney’s film ‘Going Clear,’ and our pages about its principal figures…
Jason Beghe | Tom DeVocht | Sara Goldberg | Paul Haggis | Mark “Marty” Rathbun | Mike Rinder | Spanky Taylor | Hana Whitfield

 

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  • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

    We in RTC are still highly enturbulated by the cancellation of Imaginary Mary. Scientology was really counting on this show being a smash hit in order to recruit mindless sitcom watchers into our new Ideal Orgs. As it now stands, Jenna Elfman’s only available work is making appearances at CCHR rallies. She is also available to do grand openings of strip malls, car washes, or fast food outlets.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b11c92ce777559c54003fa3b55688344592933f76034002bedb7fafc3c3db7b3.png

    • Techie

      You know, I’ve always said, don’t know why, there’s something about Mary…..(Oh, I forget, those who were never at the Int base don’t know that Something About Mary was one of the films that tickled Dave’s fancy so much that he ordered the entire staff to see it,. I think he just likes the scene at the beginning, something about pain…)

      • Michael Leonard Tilse

        Maybe he was just fond of the hair jell.

        • Techie

          Do you suppose that explains Jenna’s hair style? One of her equine friends…? No, that is too crude to put on TV. Unless it is a podcast.

    • Juicer77

      Nobody wants to see her there, either.

      • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

        The good news is that, so long as she pays her own travel expenses, Jenna Elfman can always appear with Anne Archer at COB’s rope pulls.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/df69f573692e857be1678845eda4a65dff6df10f8155585ae4b7edc4faa16177.jpg

        • Techie

          She’s perfectly suited for pulling on ropes, and look at the shot – even in heels the forced perspective makes her shorter than the COB!

          • Sherbet

            I see Jenna, and I see the Elf Man.

        • And when they did this Miscavige farted.
          Trufax.

          • Taffy Sinclair

            I’ll bet he farts often, what w/ the 2 meals @ each meal on the daily.

        • Michael Leonard Tilse

          Oh. I thought “rope pulls” was a euphemism.

    • Observer

      Are you lobbying Legoland to have her back at Christmas?

    • abdaman

      It should have been cancelled halfway through the first episode!

    • PeaceMaker

      Did it finally get cancelled? What a surprise!

      That second shot shows what I wrote about a while back, after watching a trailer – when she is surprised in situations, she puts on a look that I would describe more as demonic. I haven’t watched much of much of her, so I don’t know if that is a change, but I suspect that Scientology processing does something to people that impairs actor’s emotional ranges – along with just generally interfering with their careers and development of their craft.

    • Taffy Sinclair

      I’m available for strip mall openings, CCHR rallies, but NOT Scientology car washes. I have boundaries, after all.

  • O/T: today is a holiday, Great Prayer Day in Denmark, and while Bob knows I’m not a praying man, I try to be properly thankful. So, this evening I treated my brother and his wife to champagne and home-made pizza to say thanks for them adding a few days to a visit and helping me out with some home improvement. I am.so happy that they took the time to help out, and we had a great time.

    (Oh, and the obligatory $cientology angle: to whoever is adding this to my file with OSA: is this really what you signed up for? Is this saving this sector of the universe, or is it busiwork designed to keep you knocked out with sleep deprivation while fewer and fewer whales are squeezed for increasing amounts to go to, well, who knows???)

    • Robert Eckert

      In Portugal they are having big candle processions for the 100th anniversary of the Fatima vision, and the Pope is popping by tomorrow.

      • Sherbet

        And I can guarantee he won’t be tugging any ribbons, unlike the other self-proclaimed pope.

        • AntoniaW

          I can’t imagine the malignant dwarf washing the feet of the faithful on whatever his equivalent of Holy Thursday might be.

      • Supper Powers

        Magical thinking just does not impress me.

        • Robert Eckert

          My anti-religious friend in Portugal is annoyed that his mom is going to the procession because it is supposed to bring good luck and grant prayers (she believes in all kinds of superstitions, not just religion-related ones) and that the Pope’s visit has security very tight.

  • nottrue
    • littlefish

      Just came to see if Tony had posted anything about it

    • Michael Leonard Tilse

      If I were to spin this for Scientology:

      “Former L.A. County Sheriff Lee Baca honored by Federal Court with promotion to Inside Representative for the world’s best prison rehab program Criminon. Baca is well known for providing public support for Scientology among the Los Angeles community and now can bring the technology to those who need it the most.”

      *gack* I think I threw up a little bit.

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      We in Scientology want the judge to know that we have a safe place ready for Lee Baca’s “muzzled destim” house arrest.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7732a33a2cc9745d25f55a962e2285b13026fcc9c357ddcc5a22c491be602a20.png

      • Harpoona Frittata

        Come on back, Elron. I’ve got your muzzled destim program right here! *Holds up industrial-strength cattle prod and Silence of the Lambs-style face mask*

    • abdaman

      Does he have a rat tail or is someone standing behind him with an identical hair color?

  • Ms.P

    Every week I receive at least 1 tree worth of promo that I don’t even open and toss out, no kidding. Multiply that with everyone else around the world. What a waste.

  • AntoniaW

    How splendidly dated of the $cilons this all is, how wonderfully old tech is Hubbard World. What would have happened to the Reformation if Martin Luther had invited his supporters to wander round a huge scriptorium, instead of going to see that newfangled printing press thingie?

  • Tony Ortega

    Just found that that Scientology collaborator and partner Google has de-indexed our story about the glamorous Meghan Fialkoff…

    http://tonyortega.org/2014/11/20/did-a-fashion-website-give-a-big-boost-to-a-scientology-infiltrator-of-nyc-schools/

    One of these days we’ll have to put together a list of our stories that Google is trying to keep you from seeing.

    • Juicer77

      Wow.

    • Observer

      I wonder who whined to Google about the story.

      • Jimmy3

        And were they wearing a glamorous tiara as they whined

    • Todd Tomorrow

      I easily found it on my laptop and clicked on it. Then my phone and then my work computer. Everybody bring it back. Just put the title of the article in the search bar. We should get our own 50 cent army.
      Copy, paste in search bar;
      ‘Did a fashion website give a big boost to a Scientology infiltrator of NYC schools?’
      Showed up fourth the first time, now second?
      Copy; http://tonyortega.org/2014/11/20/did-a-fashion-website-give-a-big-boost-to-a-scientology-infiltrator-of-nyc-schools/

    • GrangerFX

      Possibly relates to “the right to be forgotten”. I bet a lot of Scions would like to have their past forgotten.

      • Observer

        That’s only in Europe

    • Todd Tomorrow

      Where is MK, he’d take it on?

    • flyonthewall

      why they do that?

      • Todd Tomorrow

        They respond to enough automatic complaints. But you can bring them back. Yes, you.

        • flyonthewall

          me? What can I do? I’m just a humble fry cook

          • Todd Tomorrow
            • flyonthewall

              I only have one device. That’s all I can afford on the meager salary of a humble fry cook

            • Observer

              You are so full of it

            • flyonthewall

              shut up

            • Observer

              No

            • flyonthewall

              I think you have oppositional defiant disorder. I will call a doctor for you

            • Observer
            • flyonthewall
            • Observer

              😮😮😮

            • FredEX2

              Fly! This is a terrible gif. Please! Delete that right now! Nobody ever should hit a baby. And no one should depict domestic violence as ‘funny’. Where’s my flyswatter?!

            • flyonthewall

              I’m sorry, Fred. I can’t do that.

            • Baby

              Freddie.. I’m sure the guy just pushed his fist into his little face without hurting him…

            • Baby
            • Todd Tomorrow

              But if you have a laptop unplug the router for 7-10 mins. You’ll have a new ip address.
              Edit; Not router, modem

            • flyonthewall

              a laptop? Maybe one day I will be able to afford a laptop…one day

            • Todd Tomorrow

              I’m sure i can hook you up if you’re serious. They aren’t new but they work.

            • flyonthewall

              Really? It’s not “hot” is it? Hot means stolen. I heard that in a movie once

            • Todd Tomorrow

              No, they are just stacked in a room. Some might need some repairs but I don’t know I’m an Apple guy. I was just told they work.

            • flyonthewall

              Oh that’s cool. How big is the room?

            • Todd Tomorrow

              I was trying to be helpful now you’re jerkin’ my chain. Should have saw the warning from OBS.

            • flyonthewall

              No I’m not. I was just wondering is all. That’s ok, I understand

            • Todd Tomorrow

              Ok, it’s an empty office where we file all of our past year tax docs and computers we no longer use. There are two laptops and four desk tops. It’s the size of two average prison cells.

            • flyonthewall

              Thanks. That’s ok though I don’t want a prison computer, no offense

            • Todd Tomorrow

              Offense taken yah yellow rat bastard.

            • flyonthewall

              Really? I don’t think that was necessary

            • Todd Tomorrow

              I’m jerkin’ your chain now.

            • flyonthewall

              chain>prison>chain gang Ha! i get it, i get jokes

            • Todd Tomorrow

              Seriously, if you need some help message me via disqus. They aren’t new but I’m sure I can ask for one.

            • GoneToPlaid

              No not the router that will only change your internal IP address, you need to unplug the modem so that your external IP address with your ISP changes.

            • Todd Tomorrow

              I meant modem, me bad.

            • Kari Harris

              Leave the modem powered on, but unscrew the coax cable for 7-10 mins. I have better luck getting my public IP to update

            • Rasha

              Where the hell’s my bloomin’ onion????

            • flyonthewall

              BLOOMINONIONPICKITUP *ding*

            • Rasha

              Compliments to the Fry Chef.

    • Todd Tomorrow

      I’m now up to 12 different ip adreses. Tell your friends. Instructions below..

    • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

      How irritating. Is there anything we can do?

      • Todd Tomorrow

        I’d think so.
        copy “http://tonyortega.org/2014/11/20/did-a-fashion-website-give-a-big-boost-to-a-scientology-infiltrator-of-nyc-schools/’ paste in Google on all of your devices.

        • What does that mean to “paste in Google”?

          • Todd Tomorrow

            search bar.

          • flyonthewall

            i think it means to squirt a bunch of Elmer’s glue in your computer

          • Todd Tomorrow

            put in google search;
            Did a fashion website give a big boost to a Scientology infiltration of NYC schools?
            Click on Tony’s story.

            • chukicita

              The first hit i get on my tablet it an umbraxenu page.

            • Todd Tomorrow

              He is five down.

        • OOkpik

          I get this:
          tonyortega.org 403 Forbidden Error Page

          ETA: It finally worked. 8)

    • chukicita

      Holy crap! Now I have to go read it again to see why this story, above all the other daily activity at the Bunker, merited special attention.

      EDIT: why are there only six heart clicks on that story? I know there were more than that!

      I am guessing Ms. F didn’t return Tony’s call, and Kelsey got the job at Freedom. How’d I do?

    • Chee Chalker

      Maybe this topic (Scientology collaborators) would be a good topic for Aftermath, Season 2.

    • I have this weird hobby snatching their brands like this one. And i can make Google robots call their Front desk asking for their password. I do that sometimes 3am
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c42002b49e15e64f3f2d34173f83c53c99dd36f03ece94b1d6af385fdae88c61.png

      • chukicita

        All your brands are belong to us. Remind me to not piss you off.

        • iampissed

          No rolling the Dice.

        • It’s a nice service and you can follow the progress on the screen. (phone ringing…phone answered…phone hung up) 30 seconds count down and you can try again! Must drive the QM frustrated.

          • Liberated

            Did you say your prayers for national prayer day?
            I did.

            Thou shalt have no other Pastas before me..
            Keeping spaghetti working.

            KSW

            • ze moo

              Rigatoni for everyone!! The hell with spaghetti and linguini.

            • Taffy Sinclair

              Fusilli for me.

            • I usually count spaghetti that day, but yeah

            • PerpetualOutflow

              I didn’t know you were Italian.

              ETA:…Or a teenager

            • Liberated

              I’m neither Italian nor a teenager.

    • Taffy Sinclair

      This hatin’ ass bitch has some nerve claiming Israel. As a Jew, I’m offended. And this ho ain’t as glamourous as certain persons you know, i.e. ME!!

    • grundoon

      Sure enough, Google doesn’t find your story Did a fashion website give a big boost to a Scientology infiltrator of NYC schools? It found some other sites that link to that story, and 3 other stories in which you mention her.

    • Graham

      Presumably this is similar to problems some atheist and ex-Muslim groups are having on Faceberk? If they get an orchestrated campaign of complaints from fanatics you automatically get ‘censored’ https://conatusnews.com/facebook-atheist-group-ex-muslims/

  • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

    Just another reason why I adore Cap’n Billy Drummond. A post he made tonight to Facebook:

    After reviewing several comments left on various anti scientology videos which I take part in on Youtube, I have discovered that some people feel that what I do is not constructive.
    In reply to these comments I have this to say.

    I do not profess to be articulate. Or perfect. I do not profess to have the answer to mans quest for knowledge.
    However if what I do stops one person from becoming a victim of this cult or saves one family then I have done my job.

    I do not judge others attempts or invalidate their efforts.

    What I do is in relation to my experience. I fight this battle the only way I know how. But at least I fight.

    So to those who think I’m a fool I say. OK. show me how. I’ll support anyone that fights this battle.

    • Todd Tomorrow

      https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Cap%27n+Billy+Drummond. I just find a drummer. What’s his youtube channel?

      • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

        They are uploaded to John McGhee’s YT channel, Suppressio Hibernicis. This is a recent one of Billy (and the gang) in Dublin.

        ETA. Xenu’s fingers make me die 😛

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvW952GzQJI

        • Todd Tomorrow

          Thanks!

          • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

            You’re welcome 🙂

            • Sherbet

              Billy’s videos are so poignant. His voice is full of pain yet defiance. He’s afraid of nothing, and nothing will stop him.

            • Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner

              You’re right, Sherb. And he says he’s not articulate but that’s just not true. He speaks from the heart and with passion, and I don’t know how he does it because as soon as I try to speak passionately about something I care about my lip wobbles and I lose all my words. I think he’s a born orator.

            • Sherbet

              I get the feeling he knows the church has pushed him to rock bottom, and now he’s on his way back up and has nothing left to lose. He won’t let the church hurt him anymore, and he gives it no power over him.

    • Baby

      Billy is a Warrior. I love his work. He is feisty and he knows what he is doing.. I would Pffft anyone who has ever said an unkind word about him. To me he is a Rock Star.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5e3c28701acbac15d943110893fe48ca919cc75df8df645a43cd3289cf59857a.gif

  • MostEthicalPimp

    Just took this photo outside the PAC base here in LA.
    It’s Schizophrenic Mitch
    Pastafarian Preacher
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3647efb177d86af56dd1051282b7e460547ee00b8d63670afa02452264efebfa.jpg https://www.youtube.com/user/TheDorkShop/

    • MostEthicalPimp

      Dang you Disquise only wanted to link to his youtube page!!!!
      If you Search for TheDorkShop on youtube you’ll get his page.

    • Taffy Sinclair

      The Pimp is back!! Love your name, it’s most ethical!! Keep it pimpin’, bro!

    • Yay! Tell it like it is Mitch !!!

    • Wait, wait that’s MY cult 🙂

  • What’sup

    I just took all my Kuba Ka albums, posters and t-shirts…..even my cherished autographed set list, put them in a pile and watched them burn. I’m not taking this well😣

    • flyonthewall

      WHY DID YOU DO THAT!!?? I would of bought them from you!

  • Rasha

    O/T Do scientologists write poetry?

    • Rasha

      I only thought that because I was going over my stuff, and I find great comfort and satisfaction in prose. I suppose it’s just rhetorical, as they have to make money, make more money and make people produce so as to make money. Such a waste. Rhyme schemes are fun to invent.

      • flyonthewall

        their poetry probably makes Volgon poetry sound like Shakespeare

        • Rasha

          I can only imagine…..

          “I used to be a land lubber
          Then I found L. Ron Hubbard
          I used to go skatin’
          and then I found I was full of thetans
          So now I volunteer at the Church Of Scientology and we will bring sanity to this prison planet and bring down the reign of psychiatry and its destructive policies of world dominion ubbard.”

          Yeah, something like that….. I’m guessing…..

          • EricS

            Yes, some of what I have read is truly awful, but not all.
            Perhaps I am not thinking of poems about Scientology, but more poems by Scientologists.
            Do you like the group “Chilliwack”? The whole group were Scientologists. Wrote some good stuff.
            I may have even written one or two that may inspire you. Some, perhaps, not so much.

            • PerpetualOutflow

              Please share

            • EricS

              They’ve Shown You

              They showed you the temple.
              They showed you the grave.
              And they told you that
              “You must behave”.

              They showed you the cross.
              They showed you the stone.
              And they told you that
              “You must atone”.

              They showed you your sins.
              They showed you your shame.
              And they told you that
              “Desire’s to blame”.

              They told you of honor.
              They told you of pride.
              And they told you to kill
              for the sake of their side.

              They told you of evil
              They told you of good.
              And they said what you can’t do,
              and they said what you should.

              They told you of love.
              They told you of pain.
              And they showed they can hurt you
              again and again.

              You’ve lived all their lies.
              Too soon you’ve grown old.
              They’ve stolen your heart.
              They’ve stolen your soul.

            • grundoon

              There’s been good music by Scientologists. I’m sure there is good poetry too. Unfortunately LRH wrecked the brand by tying it to his own inferior product.

      • Liberated

        Anything that’s truly creative and of artistic value, LRon had distain for.
        Poetry is way too cool for the cult.

        • Rasha

          I’ll keep at it, then. -_^

        • Harpoona Frittata

          On the contrary, Elron fancied himself, not only a great writer of both fiction and non-fiction, but a photographer, film maker and record producer, with his $ea Org Apollo Stars band. Of course, he totally sucked at most of that, but he very clearly had artistic/creative pretensions and aspirations.

          His Hymn of Asia was about as close to poetry as he ever got, that I’m aware of, and it sucked too.

          • Liberated

            I understand what you’re saying, but I meant “true art”
            As long as he was the author and received praise, well that was great, but he’s a cult leader, of course he’s going to receive praise.
            I remember him saying once – yes, Shakespeare was good, but…
            He implied he was overrated.

            Jealous much ?

            • Harpoona Frittata

              Yes, his “art” was mostly pretentious and aspirational, with only his written work likely to stand the test of time, and with most of that just mapping the inner workings of a madman and pretender in voluminous detail.

    • I have seen someone writing a poem on a napkin, i went like this: A=A=A

      • Rasha

        They do tend to suck the very life out of everything, don’t they?

    • Techie

      Hubbard espoused a preference for “blank verse”. My guess is he was to lazy to rhyme things. An example: “Above it all, below me lay the world, above it all, above it all (repeat) Detached, my mind wandered, detached my mind wandered (big down beat and instrumental bridge) Above it all etc. ” Almost classifies as Vogon in concept, with some plain old down and dirty pure narcissism to carry the message. He was just as gooder with the music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtxWlTIWRHo

      • Rasha

        In light of the evidence, I would like to retract my question.

      • Noesis

        When I first heard this song years ago I thought it was a joke…possibly even a deliberate parody of something real.

        Poor ole Ronnie…didn’t have anyone around with enough spine to warn him off of some truly terrible stuff before it was issued.

        (Which is similar to something John Lennon said about Paul McCartney after Paul released his first post-Beatles solo album.)

    • Michael Leonard Tilse

      Yes they do. There are a number of Scientologists who write poetry and even have published books of poetry. Alice Pero for one. Another wrote a book “The mechanics of Poetry.”

      I wrote poetry when I was a Scientologist.

      “Spam”
      Meat, or not a meat
      That is the question
      Noble it is not.

      • PeaceMaker

        I checked on Amazon looking for reviews, and Mechanics of Poetry: A Glossary of Basic Poetic Terms Paperback by Su Falcon Soref seems to be a technical rather than creative work – published in 1996, with 2 reviews.

      • Robert Eckert

        There was a site once (probably still but I’d never find it now) devoted to spam haikus. Mine:
        New: Spam Lite! Same old
        Rancid flavor, but only
        Half the yellow slime

    • EricS

      Um.. yup.. Blush… Wrote quite a few poems that were definitely Scientology inspired.
      Wrote some good stuff too, I think.

    • grundoon

      Q. Do Scientologists write poetry?
      A. No. For example, consider yourself blessed if you have never seen the Dianetic Jingles. You do not want to see them. Stop here before it is too late.

      Written by L. R. H. when he first moved to Phoenix in March 1952, he wrote: “If you can
      decipher these, you’ll know everything there is to know.”

      If emotion comes, use and win.
      If emotion you won’t use, you will lose.
      If a motion comes in, that’s a sin.
      If motion from you flows, the world blows.

      If you say you aren’t God, you are sod.
      If you have to be liked, you are spiked.
      If you choose to agree, you’re a tree.
      If you want others’ gain, you’re insane.
      If all things you eschew, they are glue.
      If you don’t have a datum, create ’em.

      If the high tone shun the low, the suns brighter glow.
      When high tone fights entheta, he comes in very later.
      Entheta is just matter kicking up a final splatter.
      If your MEST is in disorder, your case is on the border.
      If your MEST is in good shape, you haven’t time to hate.

      If you really want the stutters, respect the rights of others.
      The bottom of disease is anxiety to please.
      The desire to be hugged is a craving to be drugged.
      You’ll never climb a steeple if you worry about people.
      If you can’t bring yourself to killing, you are another’s willing.
      The upset of tradition is the way to eat roast pigeon.

      No wise man should stammer because another shuns his grammar.

      THAT’S IT.

      [Ed. Note: Actually there’s more. Lots more. Now excuse me while I go pluck out my eyeballs.]

  • Shayne

    Just saw that Elfman’s “Imaginary Mary” show was cancelled. I never watched the show (guess no one else did, either) but it sounded really weird. Wonder how someone like Jenna, who hasn’t had a hit show since Darma & Greg, and is a “clear” Scientologist, rationalizes all that failure.

    • Liberated

      The girl seems to be “stuck” in the 90’s.

    • Len Zinberg

      “Imaginary Mary” has been cancelled, and “Deluded Jenna” is also running out of gas.

      • Juicer77

        🙂

  • VIDEO: Do All Religions Lead To God? – Week 3: Jesus and Scientology, by Jeff Jacobs [@brandnewjeff] at Revolution Church [@revyourlife].

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kg4lJCNe15s&t=7m6s

    • What’sup

      I just cannot wait to dive into that.

      • flyonthewall

        he is one of those “cool” bible humpers. Ugh, like, gag me with spoon, totally

        • Rasha

          “…they have a thing they call ingrums…”

        • OOkpik

          If it keeps even one person from falling into the Scientology trap…

          • flyonthewall

            Sure but the Christian cults can be really bad too

            • OOkpik

              At least they don’t have ingrums!

    • PeaceMaker

      It’s actually a pretty dry and uninteresting attempt to explain Scientology, partly through quoting some of their own definitions. And he makes the mistake at one point of referring to operating out of “reading rooms,” confusing it with Christian Science. Other than mentioning that Scientology encourages people to separate from their families, he offers relatively little critique other than to say that it tells people they are gods, while the Christian belief is that god is in their hearts – and to claim that Christianity offers people more real consolation.

  • nottrue
    • flyonthewall

      got a link to the Bunker in it!

      and a word from the proprietor

    • madame duran

      Potential headline – “9021-Uh oh!*: Scientology cult group busted by outraged parents”

      *(I know 90210 is for Beverly Hills and not Santa Monica but….eh, it’s close enough)

    • Sherbet

      I don’t know if anyone posted this already — I saw an ad on ID channel for a Bill Cosby story, and our buddy Mark Ebner is on it. I didn’t catch the date. Early June I think.

    • Juicer77

      Shelton should lose his job. Giving the OK to teach potentially fatal quackery?? NO

  • LongNeckGoose

    That USPS logo hasn’t been in use for 20 years or more.

    • Rasha

      Good spot.

      • LongNeckGoose

        I’m a retired letter carrier… I wore that logo back in the 1980s, I think.

        • mandymarie20

          I thought the logo looked odd. It looked Photoshopped or something because it looked thrown on and didn’t move with the fabric. I wonder if it really is a government employee or maybe they just bought a former employee’s shirt from Goodwill and threw it on a Sea Org member. Either way this whole situation seems odd. I wonder how many religious organizations have a US government postal employee on staff? I don’t know of any.
          While I can see the reason since they send out a lot of mail, it seems really odd.

    • Mick Roberts

      That Degraded Being doesn’t have his stats up high enough to deserve us providing him with a modern uniform!

    • Snippy_X

      Seems like there should be a law somewhere making it a federal offense for a Scientologist to impersonate a postman.

  • AntoniaW

    O/T perhaps (but I’m not sure) – just when I was beginning to think, please dear Proprietor, rid your Bunker of its recent infestation, lo and behold! It’s been got rid of. Thank you, we can now concentrate on the purpose of this site, which is to oppose the fraud that is scientology.

    • EmmaDaoust

      “Sort by Best — Newest — Oldest — Troll “

      • Juicer77

        XD

  • Noesis

    I assume this has been posted somewhere, but for those that have not yet heard, former L.A. County Sheriff (and Scientology Parade Float Mannequin) Lee Baca was sentenced today to 3 years in federal prison. That is quite a sentence and also quite a fall for such a once respected and powerful figure.

    “[Judge] Anderson rejected out of hand the idea that Baca should avoid time in prison. He acknowledged Baca’s lengthy record as a public servant, but said it made his crimes more perplexing.”

    “Mr. Baca’s criminal conduct is so at odds with the public image he carefully crafted,” Anderson said. Like old B-movies, “you seem to have your own version of the good cop/bad cop routine … that allowed you to keep your hands clean but did not make you any less culpable.”

    I suspect Baca made some powerful enemies with his skullduggery which is why he did not skate like some other cops caught doing the naughty.

    http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-baca-sentenced-jail-sheriff-corruption-20170512-story.html

    (I posted this way down below also in response to a comment from this morning from Eivol that a sentence was to be handed out today.

    • madame duran

      I like the fact that Scientology’s favourite crooked cop got sentenced by a judge named Anderson. Does that surname ring a bell, OSA?
      ETA: Google the keywords “Scientology Anderson Report”

    • Couch_Incident

      Bubba will spend his time practicing with Sheriff Baca as he awaits DM…

      • Juicer77

        Jokes about rape are not appreciated here.

      • Noesis

        Anytime a previously safe-pointed law enforcement official winds up convicted of felonies, the folks that were using him for protection have to be concerned about what he might offer up from his jail cell in order to shorten the duration of the actual time he serves on his sentence.

        In one fell swoop, Baca has gone from trusted ally to a dangerously PTS wog.

        It’s one more thing for wee Davey (and his well paid professional enablers) to worry about.

        One never knows when Uncle RICO might come knocking.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3fb2c3e72b3a88367624cc3e58f5b3dae24b2ef94911e68ee6404e0687fdbf4c.jpg

  • WhiteCentauress

    I actually like the guy, but this is what I thought of when I saw Kuba’s new look.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a46bb5a6389a8a3dbae73d28b66c69b386dfa409f0120bb1ff996e6d94e0f169.png

    • Liberated

      No more Jenna jokes….

      • WhiteCentauress

        It’s difficult to look at a horse now……and not think……Jenna.

    • What’sup
      • WhiteCentauress

        I’m into fantasy art, so this looks fine to me…..LOL

        • WhatAreYourCrimes

          if I could photoshop, this operating thetan would be king, LoL, steroids and dickheads are the most unattractive men on the planet.

      • Mockingbird

        I honestly think he modeled his look after this.

  • Fink Jonas

    I bet the USPS rep. Is a Scientologist working for Scientology drawing a postal salary paid with our taxes, those sneaky suckers.
    I don’t care how much trash they can print it won’t beat YouTube and other social media when it comes to getting information….YouTube makes Scientology look cheap as soon as you search for “other Filosophies other than Scientology”

    • PeaceMaker

      Someone brought that up earlier. I don’t think that would fly under USPS employment policies, unless there is an exception for special positions like that. It would be interesting to know just what the story was – and just what people who had worked there, thought of watching and working with the Scientologists. Come to think of it, I wonder if that person would have been interviewed by the FBI during their investigation….

  • Observer
    • salin

      Startled ‘Artful Dodger’ pleads with his/her eyes: this isn’t what it looks like.

    • WhiteCentauress

      Poor guy. He knows he’s in trouble. So adorable…

    • That couch! My eyes!

    • Mockingbird

      That face is perfect.

  • salin

    Reminder to click the recommend for today’s installment of the bunker. It is an upvote for today’s Bunker’s story/reporting, and the ensuing conversations.

    Forget the purported billion/trillion years of space opera – and instead appreciate displays of natural sky/space beauty that is observable. http://spaceweathergallery.com/indiv_upload.php?upload_id=135467&PHPSESSID=68m7p6t9kodp5s1l9eaakcq6f6

    • TheMirrorThetan

      I just learnt there are upside down rainbows.
      The bunker are educashional. 🙂

  • Gib

    This post by Tony reminds me of Cowboys tread on ESMB:

    http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?27909-trepidatious&p=707247&viewfull=1#post707247

    “First and foremost, Scientology was a marketing effort.

    I remember once discussing what the next “released” level should deal with. Hubbard said go out and do a survey as to what people’s wants were, what was the ruin, most pressing on their minds? Whatever that was is what the next level’s result would be. And just tell them, he explained, through his marketing genius, if they pc didn’t achieve that result, advise the staff to tell them that the next level would achieve that result.

    I left when I realized that even Hubbard himself was a far cry from any of the results promised through clearing and OT. It took me years to separate the promises from the reality. I saw him in his daily activities, through his own ups and downs, illnesses, losses, frustrations, rages. I twisted my mind trying to make the facts fit into the promises. It didn’t work.

    NED was developed becasue Dianetics didn’t work. NOTS was developed because NED didn’t work.

    None of it worked. Not one bit. Not on him. Not on others. Sure, it made some people feel good for a while. But did any of the avowed results ever come to fruition? Of course not.”

    Books make booms, Letters Out, Promo Out, etc.

    I’d bet thru DM’s highly paid lawyers, that DM is certainly capitalizing on Hubbard.

  • Bob Crouch

    A truly impressive printing center. Imagine all of the “information” this can unleash. My, my, good thing we have the internet to open a can of whoop ass and provide some informaiton of our own!

    • EmmaDaoust

      What with the output of that printing centre and all of the programming from SuMP taking over the airwaves, they should have the planet cleared in no time.

      • Bob Crouch

        That’s true! One would assume that an organization with billions in the bank and these kinds of publication resources at their disposal would really make a difference, perhaps even for the better. The fact that they don’t, and that they continue to shrink, speaks volumes about the quality of their “product!”

  • Liberated

    I hate Comcast!

    They’re out to get me !

    • Jimmy3

      This is true

    • JJ

      Maybe DM could be headhunted by Comcast and do to them what he is doing to CoS…

  • Part 2 of Chris Crimy’s interview with Lois Reisdorf, plus important news about Melissa Paris.

    https://twitter.com/MiamiSixthMan/status/863091072636989446

  • Mockingbird

    Sometimes Tony Ortega just has fun with us. Ineffable ? I vaguely remembered it as meaning what can’t be understood. I was a little off. in·ef·fa·ble
    inˈefəb(ə)l/
    adjective
    too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words.
    “the ineffable natural beauty of the Everglades”
    synonyms: indescribable, inexpressible, beyond words, beyond description, begging description; More
    not to be uttered.
    “the ineffable Hebrew name that gentiles write as Jehovah”

    It’s almost up there with Rachel Maddow the other night using inchoate. in·cho·ate
    inˈkōət,ˈinkəˌwāt/
    adjective
    just begun and so not fully formed or developed; rudimentary.
    “a still inchoate democracy”
    synonyms: rudimentary, undeveloped, unformed, immature, incipient, embryonic; More
    LAW
    (of an offense, such as incitement or conspiracy) anticipating a further criminal act.

    I enjoy the work of you guys (though I occasionally disagree) but wonder about the poor audience members that never look up words. What will they get out of hearing or reading things they don’t know or learn ?

    • Jimmy3

      Normal people do look up words they don’t recognize, or they can discern meaning from the context. Putting an emphasis on dictionary tech is very Scientological.

      • John Prince

        I’m glad YOU said that. .

        • John Prince

          I didn’t zero in on the word “ineffable” but I was pretty sure it was meant as a Gentleman’s Wedgie
          to jakub/Mohammed 😎

      • Mockingbird

        Sometimes you have no clue from context. As a general rule I have no clue in life.

    • Juicer77

      I knew the definition. And I get Tony’s sense of humor. 🙂

      • Mockingbird

        To most non-Scientologists and pre-Scientologists my understanding would be sufficient but the old habits die hard.

    • John Prince

      I was gonna ask what the fuck You doin’ up this late, but You’re not in America, are You?
      I fear You’re right, though, much of the refined Humor here is Pearls before Swine 😎

      • Mockingbird

        I actually am in America. I stayed up late tonight.

        • John Prince

          ‘Scooze me. .I have a Hard time keepin’ track of Who’s on which Continent 🌎

          • Mockingbird

            No problem.

    • Chee Chalker

      That’s why I keep my Hubbard dictionary right here by my side……

      • Mockingbird

        Oh boy…

        • Chee Chalker

          Jk…..I don’t have a Hubbard dictionary, but I would love to see one!

          • Mockingbird

            The tech dictionary is available free online as a pdf

    • EmmaDaoust

      “Word clear on Aisle 47 ! “

      • Mockingbird

        Well after you leave Scientology at some point you will run into words you don’t know and have to figure out what you are going to do.

      • JustSheila

        (chuckle)

  • Eivol Ekdal

    Good Morning Bunker

    • OOkpik

      And a fine morning to you too, Sir.

  • Santa Monica High School Cancels Scientology Anti-Drug Program After Uproar
    Santa Monica-Malibu Unified School District spokeswoman Gail Pinsker tells THR that the school’s principal Dr. Antonio Shelton “fully vetted this organization and felt that it would be excellent for our students,” adding that “the presentations and materials do not have any reference or mention of Scientology.”
    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/santa-monica-high-scientology-drug-program-1003364

    “Fully vetted”
    Geez even if its not Scientological, its crap.
    Idiots are teaching our kids.

  • John Prince

    Isn’t that sweet? (sniff) .. “Precious Snowflake ” also known as Kuba -ka and a host of other ridiculous names, wishes the wholesome, Fluffy, Leave-it-to-Beaver co$ WELL, together with the very Kind SP’s Tony Ortega & Leah Remeni 😍😇. .we need to send this peacekeeping soldier to the Middle East 💣💥

  • Joe Hurtado

    Goodness, that looks like an Amazon facility…. Jeff Bezos, beware!