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Have you made your Scientology ‘postulates’ for the new year, space cadet?

The Scientology propaganda just keeps coming, and we usually get a kick out of it. Scientology’s messages aimed at its members helps us keep up on what’s going on inside the secretive organization, and it also gives us a glimpse of how this dwindling organization is keeping the lights on.

Most recently, we were forwarded a promotion for an event that, sadly, has already taken place: A “postulates seminar” on January 3. But we thought you’d still get a kick out of the promo video featuring “Elite FSM” Emmett Osborn.

There’s no better time than the beginning of a new year, apparently, to make your Scientology “postulates” that, with your magical OT abilities, you’ll make happen for yourself this coming year.

[Go here to see the video.]


Which brings up the question, what the hell is he talking about?

“Postulates are a very big thing in Scientology and everybody always focuses on the magic of them and how you can make them come true so you can make anything in your life come true,” Chris Shelton tells us. “And the New Year being the time of New Year’s resolutions, these two things come together pretty much. I never really saw anything special about New Year’s versus any other time of the year as a Scientologist because postulates are just postulates.”

Alex Barnes-Ross told us just to think of Scientology postulates as new year’s resolutions. But we asked him, isn’t there something more magical about postulates?

“Yeah absolutely. If you postulate it, it’ll happen. It’s like an affirmation,” he says.

And Alex reminded us of the Scientology practice of writing “postulate checks.”

“The registrar will sell you something just before Thursday at 2pm. You write a check so the stat counts as ‘paid’ — even if you know you don’t have the money, because you know it’ll take a few days to clear. So you just make sure you have the money in your account for Monday or whenever. It’s fraud,” he says. “Essentially, you’re postulating that you’ll have the money in your account. You’re so sure you will make it happen with your OT Tone 40 intention, you’ll even write a check.”

Just keep postulating, pilgrims, and keep hoping that money magically appears!


Technology Cocktail

“People nearly always overestimate what needs to be done to a child for good gains. And they nearly always underestimate how long it takes to really flatten just one
thing! (Hours and hours.) Any really simple process could be adapted but would not flatten totally unless the itsa was in totally. That’s a tall order. I feel zero-zero run flat on a child is the biggest gift a parent can give him.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1965




We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.


THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond

[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams [41] Louise Shekter [42] John Sweeney [43] Tory Christman [44] Kate Bornstein [45] Christian Stolte [46] Mark Bunker [47] Jon Atack [48] Luke Y. Thompson [49] Mark Ebner [50] Bruce Hines [51] Spanky Taylor and Karen Pressley [51] Geoff and Robbie Levin [52] Sands Hall [53] Jonny Jacobsen [54] Sandy Holeman


Source Code


“In August I wrote Kennedy; he was offered by me at that time help in the space race, speeding up the IQ, straightening out pilots. And this, the White House has already asked us twice for presentations of Scientology and we’ve granted them, and they have done weird things like fire the fellow who asked for them and that sort of thing….And anyway, in August, thinking that it would be a good gesture I wrote him a letter concerning this, at the White House, and time rolled along and the FDA suddenly became very interested and the organization was sniffing around the corners. And suddenly the US government — let’s not compartment this thing down, see, it’s just the government — issued a smear campaign in the Washington press, calling us all sorts of hard names, organized this thing completely, down to the last detail and actually the papers were on the streets before anybody appeared at the organization. Interesting, isn’t it? Hours later somebody appeared at the organization. Anyway, they raided a church and seized philosophical and religious texts for burning and meters. Armed raid on a church. Stop and think about it for a moment. How could they get away with this? How’d they do this?” — L. Ron Hubbard, January 8, 1963


Avast, Ye Mateys

“An International hard news story is about to come off in this port. Nothing to do with us. But reporters will be all over the place and our rat guards are not very effective. A ‘Hard news Story’ means a staged or actual event as different than a statement by someone. As this particular staged event is not very newsworthy really and as we are lately in the news in our effort to hit at the UK Parliament, the reporters would probably use us to justify their being here. Policy is to avoid hard news stories. Don’t get mixed up in International events like revolutions or International PR efforts. Therefore, although all is cool, we’ll slide down the coast long before the event and stay here lengthily another day. DDT kills flies. What de-verminates reporters? So we sail the 11th. Hey, the reporter who painted up the Dekki Le Moate scene in DK is rumored to have been sacked! Maybe his paper had good sense after all. Holland is apparently also under control on this I hear.” — The Commodore, January 8, 1971


Overheard in the FreeZone

“There is a recognition point that occurs when a person blows the current cycle of existence and rehabilitates spiritual reality where the person understands they have multiple eternities running concurrently, each with its own timeline, or as LRH puts it, theta line, and that they can choose to view that timeline at any moment. So they come up with multiple selves and timelines in independent universes….I am aware of beings in parallel universes who are able to peer into this one. However, to date these appear to be techno based civilisations whose basic intent is some form of manipulation or programming at the level of elsewhereness, albeit the elsewhereness consists of a parallel universe and alternative theta line.”


Past is Prologue

1996: The identity of Fusedon606, a frequent critic of Larry Wollersheim, was revealed this week. Joe Harrington wrote: “FUSEDon606 is a guy by the name of Dennis Brodsky. Lawrence Wollersheim has lectured at meetings of Urantia book readers to caution them about the nature of cults and his view that some aspects of the Urantia movement were becoming cultic in nature. Wollersheim’s activities regarding Urantia were discovered from the OSA search of the files following the August 95 raid. This is apparently how they came across Brodsky’s name and recruited him for his current black propaganda campaign. Brodsky is not a Scientologist and reportedly he has alienated many Urantia people in his area. Should Brodsky fail to respond to my questions about OSA connections, I will consider posting his earlier replies to me, and the response I received from Wollersheim about who Dennis really is.”



Random Howdy

“It really doesn’t matter if the people still in the Church of Scientology are happy or not because the organization itself is a criminal conspiracy that needs to be brought down. Are we suppose to go easy on organized crime because its members might be, generally speaking, having a good time?”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Found guilty on two counts on May 31, remanded to custody. Sentenced to 30 years to life on Sep 7.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Next pretrial hearing January 29, 2024.
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud.

Civil litigation:
Leah Remini v. Scientology, alleging ‘Fair Game’ harassment and defamation: Complaint filed August 2, motion to strike/anti-SLAPP motions by Scientology to be heard January 9, 2024.
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to arbitration. Plaintiffs allowed interlocutory appeal to Eleventh Circuit.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Discovery phase.
Jane Doe 1 v. Scientology, David Miscavige, and Gavin Potter: Case unsealed and second amended complaint filed. Scientology moves for religious arbitration.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Ordered to mediation.



After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] VIDEO: Danny Masterson on the best way to make a move on a woman
[TWO years ago] Scientology leader David Miscavige praised in videos on David Miscavige’s website
[THREE years ago] Scientology continues to harry Mark Bunker over his every utterance
[FOUR years ago] If Scientology forced your children to disconnect from you, what would you do?
[FIVE years ago] Tonight, Leah Remini makes it clear how much Scientology worships money above all else
[SIX years ago] Joy Villa’s ex talks about her domestic violence arrest and the child she put up for adoption
[SEVEN years ago] Talking to the FBI agent who canceled her talk at Scientology’s ‘mecca’
[EIGHT years ago] Jon Atack: The best thing ever written about the language traps in Scientology’s Bible, ‘Dianetics’
[NINE years ago] Jefferson Hawkins provides Scientology a way to happiness that actually works
[TEN years ago] Scientology’s anti-SLAPP motion in harassment suit being heard today: Rathbun seeks delay
[ELEVEN years ago] Nancy Many’s Life in Scientology Dramatized on January 16 Investigation Discovery Series


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 3,268 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,783 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 3,333 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 2,323 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 2,204 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 5,508 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 3,379 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,931 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 4,273 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,839 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,758 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,926 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 4,507 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,768 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,804 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 3,520 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 3,084 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 1,399 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,574 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 7,125 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 4,256 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,594 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 9,449 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,568 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,924 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 7,227 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 3,333 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,731 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,607 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 3,172 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,685 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,939 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 15,048 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on January 8, 2024 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2022 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2022), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


Tony Ortega at Rolling Stone


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