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Scientology’s Austin grand opening finally set for sizzling August afternoon

We’ve been very fortunate that several readers take it upon themselves to keep an eye on Scientology’s moves in places like Chicago and Austin, and we want to thank them for their vigilance.

One reader, for example, showed us how to locate some interesting information about Scientology’s plans for its upcoming “Ideal Org” grand opening in Austin.

If you remember, in his New Year’s stemwinder, church leader David Miscavige boasted that he’d open four new Ideal Orgs in the first quarter of 2023, which didn’t happen. But now Austin is apparently going to get its big day.

According to city records, Austin’s grand opening celebration is scheduled for 2 pm to 3 pm on Saturday, August 26, and the church is asking for various traffic shutdowns on busy Guadalupe Street.

The request was submitted on March 23 by Nick Banks of Scientology Media Productions, and the city is apparently still considering the plan.


But hey, who doesn’t want to stand around at 2 pm on Guadalupe Street on an August 26 afternoon for a chance to see dapper Dave cut a ribbon, right?

Let’s check the record for temperatures in Austin over the last ten August 26 afternoons.

2013: 90 degrees

2014: 100 degrees

2015: 95 degrees

2016: 94 degrees

2017: 78 degrees (with 7+ inches of rain)

2018: 101 degrees

2019: 102 degrees

2020: 95 degrees

2021: 98 degrees

2022: 97 degrees

Bring your sunscreen, wealthy Scientology donors flying in for the ceremony!

And for you locals, a head’s up: Some of the sidewalk and alley closures around the building are scheduled to go into effect up to five days before the event. But we hope someone can snag us a photo of the org with its big ribbon before Dave does the honors.


Also, for you process servers looking for the diminutive don of Hubbardism, here’s your chance!


Technology Cocktail

“Don G. Purcell, the millionaire who tried to seize Dianetics in 1951, died last month after a long illness, at the Mayo (MD type) Clinic. As in the case of the late Dr. Joseph Winter, author of much critical literature against Dianetics, Auditors refused to audit Purcell according to my reports.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1959



We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.


THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH


— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond

[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams [41] Louise Shekter [42] John Sweeney [43] Tory Christman [44] Kate Bornstein [45] Christian Stolte [46] Mark Bunker [47] Jon Atack [48] Luke Y. Thompson [49] Mark Ebner


Source Code

“You’re going up against a problem here, if you deal with the medico, of a person who monkeys. He doesn’t have any very precise answers. When he immediately gets out of the field of the broken leg, when he gets out of the field of putting on a tourniquet or some other type of action and he gets into a field where he himself does not have very good answers and so he monkeys. And they will do some very interesting and wild things. They will get some kind of a suspicion that there might be a growth in somebody’s chest and start removing tissue. And they’ll do exploratories and they will do all kinds of wild things. They will go into a tumor and take a small slice of it and so forth, thus activating it and aggravating it so that now the person practically is dying whereas before they weren’t bad off. In other words there’s a lot of monkey business. And I say that very advisedly. I could think of much more high school words than monkey business, but I think it rather fits, so forth. Man descended from monkeys and those that didn’t descend much became doctors. Bitter, huh?” — L. Ron Hubbard, July 30, 1964


Avast, Ye Mateys

“LOCAL ARC: On arrival we were met with much local ARC here. Officials and people were offended we were only staying a week so we have extended to two. Townspeople do know of ‘the incident’ in last port and are sympathetic to us. No reason to discuss it further. Just ack and thank them. Don’t try to deny it. Recent political events have left this area untouched.” — The Commodore, July 30, 1971


Overheard in the FreeZone


“The Church of Scientology is an MKUltra testing cage. LRH failed to crack the Circuit/3rdParty/PTS/SP Case. The ‘Bridge’ and the subject completely omits the KRCx Case and the route to OT. The public version of Scientology is a subject which has been systematically undermined into a severely reduced version throughout its history and since its inception. Unravelling the timeline is useful only as a historical analysis. Time is the primary source of untruth. What is actually required is a thorough PT technical analysis and handling with a clearly defined purpose. The reasons why the subject and organization is in such a mess reduce to a handful of omissions, inversions, reversals, sacrifices and substitutions. Each reduces to a single gross outpoint. Principles are senior to processes. When the basic principles of the subject as delineated by LRH are actually studied and applied in present time, the subject is self-correcting.”


Past is Prologue

2001: The St. Petersburg Times reported that Dr. David Minkoff has been suspended as a doctor and fined for his treatment of Lisa McPherson, who died as a result of her care in the Fort Harrison Hotel in 1995. Florida’s Board of Medicine has sternly sanctioned Clearwater physician David I. Minkoff, finding he improperly prescribed medicine for a patient he had never seen – Scientologist Lisa McPherson. Minkoff, also a Scientologist, prescribed Valium and the muscle relaxant chloral hydrate at the behest of unlicensed Church of Scientology staffers who were trying to nurse McPherson, 36, through a severe mental breakdown. When they failed after 17 days of isolating her, Minkoff was recruited again. This time, he pronounced McPherson dead. For his role in the 1995 episode that Minkoff himself calls a ‘fiasco,’ the 53-year-old doctor will lose his medical license for one year and then be made to practice under probation for two more years – unless he appeals and wins a reversal. He also was fined $10,000. Ken Dandar, the Tampa lawyer who represents McPherson’s family, called the sanctions too lenient. Dandar set off the inquiry that led to Friday’s action, complaining about Minkoff to state health officials in 1997. He nevertheless credited Minkoff on Friday for the candid accounts he has given in sworn statements. It was Minkoff, a Scientologist for 20 years, who told prosecutors in 1998 that McPherson’s care at Scientology’s Fort Harrison Hotel in Clearwater was seriously flawed.”


Random Howdy

“The trigger for the OT 8 cognition is the line ‘the Pilot says: I’m mocking this up.’ The desired End Phenomena is ‘Now that I know what I am not, I am ready to find out what I am’.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Found guilty on two counts on May 31, remanded to custody. Sentencing on Sep 7.

‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Trial scheduled for August 15.
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud.

Civil litigation:
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to arbitration. Plaintiffs allowed interlocutory appeal to Eleventh Circuit.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Stay in place at least through sentencing of Masterson on Sep 7.
Jane Doe 1 v. Scientology, David Miscavige, and Gavin Potter: Case unsealed and second amended complaint filed. Next hearing August 1.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Ordered to mediation.



After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] PODCAST: Pete Griffiths, the SP who ran a Scientology mission
[TWO years ago] What kind of technical perfection can you expect at Scientology’s mecca, space pilgrim?
[THREE years ago] The Church of Scientology wants feedback about starting a podcast. Oh, pretty please?
[FOUR years ago] Miscavige changes course: All remaining Scientology orgs to go ‘Ideal’ at the same time
[FIVE years ago] Here it is, your passport to Scientology godhood: Next stop, infinity!
[SIX years ago] Scientology ‘dead agents’ our own Rod Keller as it pursues more illegal activity in Mexico City
[SEVEN years ago] L. Ron Hubbard as sad, oversexed schlub: The very personal writings his admirers never discuss
[EIGHT years ago] The Church of Scientology’s forgotten president: Karen de la Carriere on Heber Jentzsch
[NINE years ago] Arlene Cordova needs your help: Where is Scientology keeping her daughter Barbara?
[TEN years ago] Scientology’s Needle Exchange: When David Miscavige Got Technical
[ELEVEN years ago] Mimi Faust on Scientology: ‘They Wanted Me To Sign a Contract To Work For Them And I Refused’


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 3,106 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,621 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 3,171 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 2,161 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 2,042 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 5,346 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 3,217 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 2,322 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,769 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 4,111 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,677 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,596 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,763 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 4,345 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,606 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,642 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 3,358 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,922 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 1,237 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,412 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,963 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 4,094 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,432 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 9,287 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,406 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,762 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 7,065 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 3,171 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,569 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,445 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 3,028 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,523 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,777 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,886 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on July 30, 2023 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2022 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2022), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


Tony Ortega at Rolling Stone


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