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Scientology fundraising is reaching epic levels of awesomeness, you doubters

Look, you doubters can tell us that Scientology is shrinking, it’s having a tougher time in the courts, it’s getting the worst press in years, and church leader David Miscavige is hiding under a bed somewhere. But the truth is, the fundraising going on for new ‘Ideal Orgs’ is just hitting its stride!

First, take a look at this hype video to set up an all-Canada event that united our neighbors to the north in an orgy of nationalistic fervor!



With that kind of set up, how could this not be an absolutely incredible night of Canuckian splendor and an outpouring of cash! Let loose the loons!

(And once again, the geniuses at Scientology have produced a ludicrously long flier, and it probably won’t fit in the email we send you when this story goes live. However, we know that you love these things as much as we do, so we’re just going to put the whole darn thing in here, and you may have to go to the Substack site directly to see it all.)


OK, we’re convinced. This planet will be cleared in no time.


Technology Cocktail

“Thetan valences are preferable over body valences.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1958



We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.



THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see

[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond

[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams [41] Louise Shekter [42] John Sweeney


Source Code

“If the child has suffered a great deal of restimulation such as a recent death on the case, and you know that the emotional content of the prenatal bank is very heavy, you could try to get that death out. But you are liable to find yourself back in the prenatal area, into material that the child can’t handle. The best thing to do is just keep a child from getting restimulated. Limit therapy on a child to picking up little odds and ends. Make them happy, give it to them when you think they need it, stay as late in the case as possible, and above all don’t get the case stirred up to a point where it will swamp the child with anything you suspect may be there. Any prenatal bank is full of infamy. It is extremely embarrassing to try to run some little girl back into the coitus chain who doesn’t know what on earth is going on. She only knows that she is uncomfortable. The words and actions are a complete mystery to her. She is flabbergasted. She will get it off by syllables.” — L. Ron Hubbard, June 14, 1950



Avast, Ye Mateys

“We will be here 3 or 4 days. There will be Liberty. The port is reported full of refugees who try to stow away so be careful not to give them a chance aboard as we would have to bring them back. The ship is beginning to shape up. The ‘new’ recruits are getting to be old hands, things are ironing out well. The bookstore should stock up on small gifts, sandals etc. Now we’ve got water save it. Long time between here and next drink. Enjoy your liberty.” — The Commodore, June 14, 1969


Overheard in the FreeZone

“You don’t give firecrackers and matches to children to play with. The L’s run deep into the R6 bank and can have bad consequences if not done right. I’m open to the idea of sharing materials of the L’s with other highly trained auditors, but not for raw public or making it available to those with a small amount of training. People are like children, and someone is going to try the information on another or on themselves and like the firecrackers/children example, you can get a severe in-balance in the mind which becomes psychoses. Hard to unravel if it gets to that stage.”


Past is Prologue

1997: The St. Petersburg Times published a letter from Scientologist Pat Jones, denying that Scientology is a bad neighbor for Clearwater, Florida. “Through a series of free concerts in our beautifully restored Clearwater building, dances for the general public in the Fort Harrison’s Crystal Ballroom, or through the snowy Winter Wonderland, our Dianetics Road Races or our many other events, we have brought life to downtown. Crime downtown has been noticeably lowered due to our presence here, a fact that has been told to us many times by elderly residents who now consider the downtown safe. Due to the church’s presence in Clearwater, the area receives more than $60-million in direct spending each year. That includes spending by the church, its staff, the more than 1,500 visiting Scientologists who are here at any given time who are active tourists, and the other 3,500 to 4,000 permanent residents of Clearwater who are members of the church. These people contribute a great deal to both the economy of Clearwater and its way of life. Scientologists volunteer in local drug and criminal rehabilitation programs, they serve as Boy and Girl Scout troop leaders, and they work on the church’s annual events such as its Easter Egg Hunt and Summer Crafts Festival, as well as many other non-Scientology programs. The residents of Clearwater, who are in the know and who really care about this town and the state of its downtown, remark constantly on the fact that the church fixes up its buildings to a standard far beyond what is expected of this area, that church staff, parishioners and visiting Scientologists are clean, drug-free and ethical, and that you couldn’t ask for better citizens.”


Random Howdy

“My dad grew up dirt poor during the Depression and he would eat a jar of pig’s knuckles in one sitting as well as all kinds of other ungodly shit.”



Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Found guilty on two counts on May 31, remanded to custody.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Trial scheduled for August 15.
Rizza Islam, Medi-Cal fraud: Trial scheduled for June 26 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud.

Civil litigation:
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to arbitration. Plaintiffs asking permission for interlocutory appeal.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Stay in place at least through June 28.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: New trial ordered after appeals court overturned prior ruling.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Lawsuit filed by the FTC and state of Georgia in August, now in discovery phase.



After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] Scientology’s new hype video is off the charts, kids. Prepare to put the pedal to the metal!
[TWO years ago] Scientology’s heyday: When you got golden tickets for past-life therapy
[THREE years ago] Hanging out with Scientologists going door-to-door in ‘Volunteer Minister’ hazmat suits
[FOUR years ago] Scientology trots out new propaganda ploy: Pretending to support journalists
[FIVE years ago] DOX: Quebec church owes other Scientology orgs heaps, pays its workers peanuts
[SIX years ago] Marty Rathbun tries to rewrite the record on Scientology spying. But we have the dox.
[SEVEN years ago] Scientology claims L. Ron Hubbard chose David Miscavige to succeed him, proving he didn’t
[EIGHT years ago] Good morning, New York! Paulette Cooper is dishing on Scientology in the Big Apple today
[NINE years ago] L. Ron Hubbard’s mesmerizing lore, and tales of Scientology’s secretive Int Base
[TEN years ago] The Fair-Gaming of ESMB’s Michelle “Emma” Sterling
[TWELVE years ago] David Miscavige, Scientology’s Leader, Wants You to Salute His Beagles


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 3,060 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,565 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 3,115 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 2,105 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,996 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 5,300 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 3,171 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 2,276 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,723 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 4,065 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,631 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,550 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,717 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 4,299 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,560 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,596 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 3,312 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,876 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 1,191 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,366 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,917 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 4,048 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,386 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 9,241 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,360 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,716 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 7,019 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 3,125 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,523 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,399 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,982 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,477 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,731 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,840 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on June 14, 2023 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2022 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2022), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


Tony Ortega at Rolling Stone


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