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Some winners have emerged from Scientology’s most recent pilgrim shearing!

This morning, while we wait for the second week of testimony to begin in the Danny Masterson retrial in Los Angeles, we are happy to report that the first hints of what took place at the San Fernando Valley “Ideal Org” the previous weekend have begun to trickle out.

You’ll remember that on Saturday, April 22, we pedaled over to the org to get a look-see about the highly touted “convention” taking place to celebrate an “All-Ideal USA.” Stiltwalkers were in place outside the entrance to the venue, security guards were on high alert, and decorations framed the front door. It was a party!

But what took place? Well, some early results have emerged about Scientologists willing to part with even more money for leader David Miscavige’s Ideal Org program.

There was this couple, for example, Bob and Kathy Welch, who are being celebrated here for being “7X Humanitarians.”


In Scientology, you’re designated a humanitarian for forking over $100,000 for the construction of new churches. So the Welches are being feted here by a couple of Sea Org gals for turning over $700,000…


Nola Aronson and Steve Lettau have dug down even deeper to drop off $1.4 million…


And Bill and Lesley McCaffrey have somehow scraped together $5.9 million…


We’re sure a fun time was had by all, and we look forward to even more information about what took place last weekend, particularly with the really big donors who were scheduled to attend. Hip, Hip, hooray!

As for the retrial, Jane Doe 1 will continue her direct examination this morning, and we’ll be sending out reports as usual. Watch your inboxes!



Technology Cocktail

“The thetan can hang around for some time. They’ll hang around people. They’ll see somebody who is pregnant and they will follow them down the street. They’ll hang around the entrance to an accident ward and find somebody — some body — that is all banged up and pick up this body and pretend to be somebody else’s husband or something of the sort. It isn’t necessarily true that all of this is taped, measured. I am telling you what is standard about this behavior and what is not.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1958



We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links as Danny faces a potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison. NOW WITH TRIAL INDEX.


THE PODCAST: How many have you heard?

[1] Marc Headley [2] Claire Headley [3] Jeffrey Augustine [4] Bruce Hines [5] Sunny Pereira [6] Pete Griffiths [7] Geoff Levin [8] Patty Moher [9] Marc Headley [10] Jefferson Hawkins [11] Michelle ‘Emma’ Ryan [12] Paulette Cooper [13] Jesse Prince [14] Mark Bunker [15] Jon Atack [16] Mirriam Francis [17] Bruce Hines on MSH

— SPECIAL: The best TV show on Scientology you never got to see


[1] Phil Jones [2] Derek Bloch [3] Carol Nyburg [4] Katrina Reyes [5] Jamie DeWolf

— The first Danny Masterson trial and beyond

[18] Trial special with Chris Shelton [19] Trial week one [20] Marc Headley on the spy in the hallway [21] Trial week two [22] Trial week three [23] Trial week four [24] Leah Remini on LAPD Corruption [25] Mike Rinder 2022 Thanksgiving Special [26] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part One [27] Jane Doe 4 (Tricia Vessey), Part Two [28] Claire Headley on the trial [29] Tory Christman [30] Bruce Hines on spying [31] Karen de la Carriere [32] Ron Miscavige on Shelly Miscavige [33] Karen de la Carriere on the L’s [34] Mark Bunker on Miscavige hiding [35] Mark Plummer [36] Mark Ebner [37] Karen Pressley [38] Steve Cannane [39] Fredrick Brennan [40] Clarissa Adams [41] Louise Shekter [42] John Sweeney


Source Code

“Gormley Castle used to be down here. I was riding over to a tourney one day and was half-armed in a rainstorm, I had half steel armor on in a rainstorm. The rest of it slung on the back of the horse. Brother with me and a groom and they had the rest of the armor. And so ‘elp me, lightning ‘it. And you know armor on wet ground makes the most marvelous conductor. Knocked me plumb silly, it did. Plumb silly. It’s happened to me several times….It makes you flinch, and so forth. I remember at that particular instance I rode right on to the castle and the grooms went out and got the bodies and my brother was still alive, but the groom was awful dead and laid the body on the bed. I stood there, you know and thought that was OK and went back over to Europe and walked in and I fell over the old mither who was busy scrubbing the floor and of course, wet, you know, volts were coming up me like that and I step in her scrub bucket and walked through her and she gets a ‘ell of a shock, you know. she says, ‘Coo, what’s that?’ you know or words to that effect. It was about 1495, something like that. And so I pick up my fist and I start to say, ‘Godderdammerung, bring me in some mead,’ you know. And I go bang, you know and my fist goes straight through the table. And I say, ‘Wait a minute, boy. Oh, no, I’m dead.’ Bright, moonlight night and there’s a dog howling outside, so I walk out in the moonlight and decide for the next 55 years I’ll have to be a ghost. Well, it was a very shocking experience. But you could get discombobulated and upset and not know what you were doing. I didn’t. I went and picked up a baby or two, but — Anyhow, the point is, is it takes a lot more than you’re even aware of confronting in order to pick up electronic masses and then keep mocking them up because, you see, they’re so dangerous because you have to keep them mocked up, you see, because they’re so dangerous, you see? It’s very logical.” — L. Ron Hubbard, May 1, 1962


Avast, Ye Mateys

“I am waiting, not altogether patiently, for the individuals aboard to realize that they are a ships company and responsible to each other for the survival of the ship and each other. Until this company insists to one another that each do his duty and that crazy outnesses are threats to survival and must caese the ship is at risk. This ships company has not right whatever to dump on me the arduos task of catching dropped balls and single-handing this vessel over the top of wild goofs in food, fuel, security, repairs and maintenance and appearance. Until I see a distinct change of attitude and increased awareness in efficiency, 1. There will be no allowances. 2. There will not be any shore liberty. 3. There will be no leave. 4. And you will see Ethics as heavy and unpredictable as the goofs that are being handed me to handle. As long as the ships company remains this irresponsible and idle and refuses to insist on smart competence amongst themselves this ship is in grave danger of catastrophe. You better wake up before you wake up dead.”— The Commodore, May 1, 1969


Overheard in the FreeZone

“The original intention of all these Scientology groups in the Freezone was to bring together Scientologists that were no longer with the Church, a place to gather and exchange communication in order to expand across all the dynamics. That’s not possible unfortunately. The Freezone has already been infiltrated by OSA agents, paid and unpaid shills and trolls, SPs, psychopaths, and God knows what other evil entities looking to do harm. Ah well. Scientology was good while it lasted.”



Past is Prologue

1995: Jeff Jacobsen reported a visit this week from private investigators. Here’s his description of the events. “From about 7:30am to 8:45am a private investigator sat in his car near my house. The police came by and asked them (at times it was 2 guys) what they were doing. They told the police that they were private investigators. I went and talked to them and they told me they were not private investigators. I took their license plate numbers. One guy had straggly long black hair. The other, who seemed to be in charge, had short brown hair and a long nose. They were both perhaps 35 or so. They also went through the garbage cans in the alley.”


Random Howdy

“Penguins and leopard seals are difficult to audit. LRH exteriorized and attempted to do this, but found it too daunting. The penguins had too many withholds, and the leopard seals had too many overts.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Mistrial declared November 30. Retrial scheduled, jury selection begins March 29. Next pretrial hearing: Feb 16.
‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Next pretrial hearing Feb 13.

Rizza Islam, Medi-Cal fraud: Trial scheduled for March 1 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next status conference Feb 13.

Civil litigation:
Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Complaint filed April 28 in Tampa federal court, Scientology moving to compel arbitration. Plaintiffs filed amended complaint on August 2. Hearing November 17 to argue the arbitration motions, awaiting ruling.
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Selection of arbitrators underway. Next court hearing: March 15, 2023.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Appellate court removes requirement of arbitration on January 19, case remanded back to Superior Court. Stay in place at least through February 7.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: New trial ordered after appeals court overturned prior ruling.
Chiropractors Steve Peyroux and Brent Detelich, stem cell fraud: Lawsuit filed by the FTC and state of Georgia in August, now in discovery phase.



After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] Yo baby! Turning over your hard-earned cash to Scientology never felt so good
[TWO years ago] IN HER OWN WORDS: Danny Masterson accuser rips LAPD miscues in 2017 letter
[THREE years ago] Apologist journal smacked down by best ever Scientology prof — and with Bunker assist
[FOUR years ago] CONFIRMED: Scientology’s ‘Freewinds’ is the ship quarantined for measles in St. Lucia
[FIVE years ago] Scientology tries to get a Christian minister in trouble for helping Dee Findlay burn her past
[SIX years ago] Professor Hugh Urban takes us to task for our review of his Scientology OT 8 investigation
[SEVEN years ago] Scientology’s champion endorses ‘Ruthless,’ and more in our weekly social media review!
[EIGHT years ago] Leaving Scientology: ‘I think this recovery is something I’ll be doing the rest of my life’
[NINE years ago] Scientology’s E-meter police, and the horse doctor of LaBelle, Florida
[TEN years ago] SCIENTOLOGY DENIED: CA Appeals Court Won’t Help Church in Forced-Abortion Lawsuit


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 3,016 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 3,521 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 3,071 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 2,061 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,952 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 5,256 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 3,127 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 2,232 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,679 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 4,021 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 12,587 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 8,506 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,674 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 4,255 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 4,516 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 3,552 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 3,268 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,832 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 1,147 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 2,322 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,873 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 4,004 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 4,342 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 9,197 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 4,316 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,672 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,975 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 3,081 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 3,479 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 3,355 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,938 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 3,433 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,687 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,796 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on May 1, 2023 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2022 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2022), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast


Tony Ortega at Rolling Stone


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