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If this video doesn’t convince you Scientology is the world’s coolest religion, nothing will

There’s no question that Scientology is at a crossroads, like so many other businesses and organizations trying to figure out how to negotiate a pandemic that refuses to go away quietly.

We’ve seen Scientology make a big deal about its orgs re-opening in various places, but it still isn’t holding international events and the Ideal Org grand openings haven’t yet resumed.

But if there’s one thing that has to go on under leader David Miscavige, it’s fundraising. And with lots of money to raise for more buildings and other initiatives, how do you get your dwindling membership motivated?

With hype videos! And with mascots!



The New York org has really outdone itself this time with a three minute trailer for an August 8 “All-Ideal USA” fundraiser that, by any measure, will be just like every other fundraiser that Scientologists have been through countless times. So how do you convince people that this time it’s really, really important that they show up (online) with their wallets and no joke this time the planet itself is on the line? Apparently, you make some vague references to the planet about to go through an apocalypse or something. Is it nuclear war? Another pandemic?

We have no idea, but thank goodness these folks are willing to put on costumes to meet the challenge!


And here’s the flier that came with it…


And another flier also sent to our tipster: Come to the Freewinds to learn how to shatter SPs!




Source Code

“I was auditing a preclear one day that had a history of lesbianism and I learned this lesson but good. She was very sensitive about it and wanted to get over it. I knew this. I knew that this was a broken-up case. I mean the person was in bad shape. She was very spinny….You’ve got this individual sitting there as I had this lesbian and at the end of twenty-five minutes I suddenly realized that I was being ‘awfully nice.’ And I was getting nowhere….So I just broke out my Scientological scalpel and I said, ‘Women are nice, aren’t they? Particularly in bed.’ Dahhhhhhwwwwww! Wild needle slams and so forth. First lock of the Rock that came off of that case was being in charge, way, way back on the track, as the high priestess of the Vestal Virgins who weren’t virgin anymore, for which she was quietly and lengthily cooked over a slow fire, and which was making her avoid being a housewife because housewives have to cook. One of the innumerable computations that came off of this case.” — L. Ron Hubbard, August 1, 1958


Avast, Ye Mateys

“The VIII sessions being done by Belkacem Ferradj, Connie Broadbent and Quentin Hubbard are well above the Org VIII Course standard for consistency and fast case change. As soon as a couple more auditors qualify for full time Dianetic Qual assignment, Joan Robertson can join the full time Course to get her VIII. We do not have enough VIIIs coming up for the ship and the AOSH group so somebody better find the throttle on his study and begin to fill this gap. I’m told in the field an VIII is looked on like God.” — The Commodore, August 1, 1969


Overheard in the FreeZone

“I am pro-David Miscavige, the leader of the Church of Scientology. I used to be anti-him, but since he has called in Scientologists and secretly briefed them on the Covid scam, I now believe he is a good person but just sometimes loses control of his anger problem. I think he’s a good person who means well, and I’m so proud that he is anti-Covid. He’s not a scumbag communist member of the new world order. He’s anti-communism, and good on him. And maybe the bad things he’s done is because he had so much pressure from the world socialists to corrupt and shut down Scientology, which they hate. I hope the church can survive during these tough times. Scientology opens minds, not closes them, like the effing socialist world government and its education and media system does. This is why Scientology has been attacked for many years. Go, David. I’m with you.”



Past is Prologue

2000: Andreas Heldal-Lund reported that Scientology has again blocked links to pro-Scientology sites from Operation Clambake. “I want people to think for themselves not just accept my point of view. I’ve added several links to your own web pages for people to have easy access to them. In November 1999 you blocked your pages so that anybody who pressed a link on Operation Clambake to your pages would be refused to access your official web pages in the Internet. I responded by setting up pages on other accounts so that the links wouldn’t go directly from Operation Clambake. Now it seems you’ve finally caught up, after 8 months. The links from these pages are dead too now.”


Random Howdy

“Go to the Icke message board and search ‘Scientology.’ They think the Church of Scientology is either part of the NWO/Illuminati/Reptilian conspiracy or that the Scientologists are crazy. Ha!”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Next hearing set for August 9. Trial tentatively scheduled for early November.
Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay sentenced to 9 years in prison. Jeff’s sentencing to be scheduled.
Hanan and Rizza Islam and other family members, Medi-Cal fraud: Pretrial conference August 21 in Los Angeles

David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next pretrial conference set for Sept 9.

Civil litigation:
Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Oral arguments were heard on July 30 at the Eleventh Circuit
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Petition to US Supreme Court submitted on May 26. Scientology responded on June 25.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: California Supreme Court granted review on May 26 and asked the Second Appellate Division to direct Judge Steven Kleifield to show cause why he granted Scientology’s motion for arbitration. Oral arguments scheduled for Oct 5.
Matt and Kathy Feschbach tax debt: Eleventh Circuit ruled on Sept 9 that Feshbachs can’t discharge IRS debt in bankruptcy. Dec 17: Feshbachs sign court judgment obliging them to pay entire $3.674 million tax debt, plus interest from Nov 19.
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Third amended complaint filed, trial set for Nov 9, 2021.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: Trial concluded, Cannane victorious, awarded court costs. Case appealed on Dec 23. Appeal hearing scheduled for Aug 23-27.

Concluded litigation:
Dennis Nobbe, Medicare fraud, PPP loan fraud: Charged July 29. Bond revoked Sep 14. Nobbe dead, Sep 14.
Jane Doe v. Scientology (in Miami): Jane Doe dismissed the lawsuit on May 15 after the Clearwater Police dropped their criminal investigation of her allegations.



We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links, including our four days in Los Angeles covering the preliminary hearing and its ruling, which has Danny facing trial and the potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison.


After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] Two years after filing their appeal, why there’s hope for the Garcias against Scientology
[TWO years ago] Scientologists in Texas neighborhood battle turn out to include Lori Hodgson’s daughter
[THREE years ago] Scientology TV is the best thing to happen to television — says Scientology
[FOUR years ago] Clearwater Baptist pastor reflects on his message about Scientology, stands by it
[FIVE years ago] Scientology opened a new ‘Ideal Org’ in Harlem, and we weren’t made to feel very welcome
[SIX years ago] When Jesse Prince sec-checked David Miscavige: A Scientology interrogation for the ages
[SEVEN years ago] Kirstie Alley ‘disconnects’ from not one but two men over their friendship with Leah Remini
[EIGHT years ago] Leah Remini Retaliation? Suddenly, Scientology “Fair Gaming” Of Critics Is Way Up
[NINE years ago] Watch Mimi Faust Talk about Losing Her Mother to Scientology
[TEN years ago] Benjamin Ring, LA Sheriff’s Deputy, Under Official Inquiry for Endorsing Expensive Scientology Services


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,379 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 2,884 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,404 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,424 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,315 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,622 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,490 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 3,264 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 1,594 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,068 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,384 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 11,950 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 7,869 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,037 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,618 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 3,879 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 2,917 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,630 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,155 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 510 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 1,685 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,236 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,385 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,705 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,560 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 3,679 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,035 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,338 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,444 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 2,846 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,718 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,301 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 2,796 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,050 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,159 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on August 1, 2021 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2020 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2020), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


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