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Scientology wants you to take this survey like yesterday. So pencils ready!

Yes, another survey. And this one our reader received yesterday with this notation:

“Urgent Short Scientology Survey: 100 of these are needed before the end of the day! Thank you for your help!”

Well, we blew the deadline. But we still thought you’d like to see what Scientologists receive in their email boxes all the time. This one was sent out by CLO EUS.

For those of you less versant in Scientologese, that’s the Continental Liaison Office of the Eastern United States.



Do you get the feeling that maybe Scientology is having a difficult time finding warm bodies to staff up all those unneeded Ideal Orgs they built all over the place?

We look forward to seeing your answers to the survey.

Meanwhile, the next opportunity for Scientologists to have their wallets emptied for more Ideal Orgs to make an ‘Ideal USA’ is coming soon!



Source Code

“These fellows do things like get your headquarters robbed of private research papers, buy them off the thief, publish them out of context and thus confuse the theory and research papers of Scientology with the actual practice of Scientology. And I point out to you that these are two entirely different things. Because I have just reserved the right all the way along the line to write down whatever I found. But I did not put it out for unlimited circulation. You see? So they’re challenging a fellow’s right to make notes of what he’s seen. But those research papers and books, today, actually do not much reflect the practice of Scientology, which if you look at it up the grades has very, very reasonable and very comprehensible goals. Do you see?” — L. Ron Hubbard, July 19, 1966



Avast, Ye Mateys

“PARTY: I’m glad you had a good time at the Roaring 20’s party. I was going to attend but couldn’t find any gangsters or a Sub-Thompson machine gun — ‘Chicago typewriter’ or a big enough cigar. (Joke)” — The Commodore, July 19, 1970


Overheard in the FreeZone

“Living in this fogged over world (our spirits in minds, that is) one tends to forget the details if they had any recall at all, because of course the implants are meant to erase all of the memories you had back then and can only be given to you if it’s something you agree with – i.e., I felt so bad about myself that I thought there just must be a God to salvage me and what had happened to me. When you’re down that low you just don’t know anything else. The funny thing is that that glowing white orb that spoke to me telepathically is the Emanator straight out of the History of Man book I found 22 years after finding Scientology. Are the Andromedians an LRH term?”


Past is Prologue

2001: “Barb” reported a two-day protest at a comic convention in San Diego at which Scientology had rented exhibit space. “I packed up some Xenu fliers stuffed with half-page Scientology Hurts People inserts, printed out a new sign, WARNING! BRIDGE PUBLICATIONS IS $CIENTOLOGY, which had a fetching color portrait of Xenu. Ida’s friend Richard came down with his two nephews a little after noon, and we took a cab to the Con. We proceeded to the entrance of the Convention Center and started handing out fliers. It wasn’t long before security approached and requested that we move on to public property, and we cheerfully complied. We already had picked up two watchclams. They positioned themselves on either side at a distance of about 50 feet. Both of them watched us constantly and used their cell phones frequently. People would approach and ask for a flier. Some stopped to chat, several thanked us for being there and informing people. Many of the folks we talked to already knew something about the cult, a few knew Bridge Publications was a tentacle of Scientology. Several people who took fliers intended to ask the folks in the Bridge Pubs booth about Xenu!”


Random Howdy


“I’m a watching a movie and I saw on IMDB that one of the actors was named ‘Mapother’ and sure enough he’s Middletooth’s cousin and he’s been in tons of stuff and he’s a better actor than Tom. Who knew?”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Next hearing set for August 9. Trial tentatively scheduled for early November.
Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay sentenced to 9 years in prison. Jeff’s sentencing to be scheduled.
Hanan and Rizza Islam and other family members, Medi-Cal fraud: Pretrial conference August 21 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Next pretrial conference set for Sept 9.

Civil litigation:
Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Oral arguments were heard on July 30 at the Eleventh Circuit
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Petition to US Supreme Court submitted on May 26. Scientology responded on June 25.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: California Supreme Court granted review on May 26 and asked the Second Appellate Division to direct Judge Steven Kleifield to show cause why he granted Scientology’s motion for arbitration. Oral arguments scheduled for Oct 5.
Matt and Kathy Feschbach tax debt: Eleventh Circuit ruled on Sept 9 that Feshbachs can’t discharge IRS debt in bankruptcy. Dec 17: Feshbachs sign court judgment obliging them to pay entire $3.674 million tax debt, plus interest from Nov 19.
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Third amended complaint filed, trial set for Nov 9, 2021.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: Trial concluded, Cannane victorious, awarded court costs. Case appealed on Dec 24.

Concluded litigation:
Dennis Nobbe, Medicare fraud, PPP loan fraud: Charged July 29. Bond revoked Sep 14. Nobbe dead, Sep 14.
Jane Doe v. Scientology (in Miami): Jane Doe dismissed the lawsuit on May 15 after the Clearwater Police dropped their criminal investigation of her allegations.



We first broke the news of the LAPD’s investigation of Scientology celebrity Danny Masterson on rape allegations in 2017, and we’ve been covering the story every step of the way since then. At this page we’ve collected our most important links, including our four days in Los Angeles covering the preliminary hearing and its ruling, which has Danny facing trial and the potential sentence of 45 years to life in prison.


After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?


[ONE year ago] Scientology donor in leaked video: ‘You’re going to pay this money fucking eventually’
[TWO years ago] Fans feeling conflicted about Tom Cruise and Scientology after seeing Top Gun 2 trailer
[THREE years ago] Scientology leader David Miscavige will not testify in forced-abortion trial
[FOUR years ago] VIDEO: ‘Scientology Kills’ protest at Dublin concert enrages Jive Aces musician
[FIVE years ago] ‘Call Me’ says their billboard — and their daughter in Scientology did just that
[SIX years ago] Mile High and climbing: Chris Shelton helps us tell the tale of Scientology and ‘Miss Lovely’
[SEVEN years ago] VIDEO: L. Ron Hubbard solves the Cold War and your bad marriage
[EIGHT years ago] STACY DAWN MURPHY: One Year After Her Death, Still No Answers
[NINE years ago] Case Closed: Paul Thomas Anderson’s Script for The Master is Nothing But Scientology


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,366 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 2,871 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,391 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,411 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,302 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,609 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,477 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 3,251 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 1,581 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 4,055 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,371 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 11,937 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 7,856 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 4,024 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,605 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 3,866 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 2,904 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,617 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,142 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 497 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 1,672 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,223 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,372 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,692 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,547 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 3,666 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 2,022 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,325 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,431 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 2,833 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,705 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,288 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 2,783 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 3,037 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,146 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on July 19, 2021 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2020 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2020), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


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