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Two Scientologists win seats on Los Angeles neighborhood council

[Lallah and Chris Rowe]

Our thanks to the tipster who noticed that a couple of Scientologists won election this week to spots on their neighborhood council in Sunland-Tujunga, a residential part of Los Angeles in the San Fernando Valley.

Lallah Rowe was already on the council as an “at-large representative,” and she successfully moved up to First Vice President by garnering 265 votes, enough to outpace two competitors. Her husband Chris Rowe, meanwhile, will join her on the council as a “stakeholder group representative” for collecting 347 votes.

Sure, this is a small regional election for a neighborhood body without any law-making power, but Scientologists have to start somewhere if they’re going to take over the planet, right?

Lallah didn’t hesitate to fall back on Scientology aphorisms in her campaign: “Communication is the universal solvent,” she said in a leaflet, and in a candidates’ forum she cited as an accomplishment helping to found the Scientology front group Artists for a Better World.

Chris, meanwhile, described handing out pamphlets in response to the pandemic during his candidates’ forum, and also mentioned associating with a “JPL engineer.” (Could it be this one? There are at least two that we know of over there.)


We dropped Lallah a message, congratulating her on her election to 1st VP and asking if she might make a statement about how her involvement in Scientology might influence how she takes on her new job.

For example, will this make her goal of getting a copy of Scientology’s “The Way to Happiness” into every home in Los Angeles more achievable?

We’ll let you know if we hear anything back.

Meanwhile, we have a perverse question for you. Has Chill EB been replaced?

Check out this hot new number out of Scientology Media Productions, from artist Tha Real Kodde One…


“This song is inspired by The Way to Happiness, A Common Sense Guide for Better Living by L. Ron Hubbard.”

Say it ain’t so, Chill!

And thanks to Phil Jones for spotting something we didn’t notice the first time through: That’s supposed to be Kansas City Chiefs coach Andy Reid appearing briefly in the video, and with Tha Real Kodde One holding up a copy of Scientology propaganda, The Way to Happiness!



UPDATE: The Chiefs tell me this is “Almost Andy Reid,” Matt Black, a lookalike. Hey, Scientology, what were you thinking?

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: Make sure you read our interview with ‘Almost Andy Reid’ about being tricked into appearing in the video.

Moving on, do y’all remember when Mike “Dirty Jobs” Rowe stood up for his friend Spanky Taylor back in 2015 when she showed up in Alex Gibney’s awesome HBO documentary, Going Clear?


If you do, then you might understand why we’re disappointed to see this image from an event last month…



Yes, that’s Rowe taking part in a “10X” event with major Scientology donor Grant Cardone, the professional ham hock who has done David Miscavige’s dirty work in the past.

Well, that’s a bummer.


Source Code

“In the final analysis, everything is a postulate. Everything came about by postulates. We just could make postulates the end-all of everything, and we’re very safe on it. Everything rationalizes out very nicely. And postulates if treated as a topflight goal bring about a very, very fine condition on the part of the preclear. What are you trying to get him to do, in essence? Change his mind. He has a bad leg, he’s crippled; you won’t get that leg well unless he changes his mind about having to have a bad leg. Believe me, you won’t. The doctors can saw and hew and use axes and materia medica and Morris Fishbeins and everything else on him, and by George, his leg will not get well until he has made up his mind for his leg to get well.” — L. Ron Hubbard, April 28, 1954


Avast, Ye Mateys

“UK is in the mystic band. That’s the last stop this side of Hades, when an empire decides to go, Man. The basic law on this is: When dealing with unknown dangers over which he has no control and against which he has no defense, Man becomes mystic as to cause and effect. Reaching a population in that condition is quite a problem. It can be done, but only on the gradient of tiny cause and effect. By coaxing small reaches and giving very light effects it can be done.” — The Commodore, April 28, 1970


Overheard in the FreeZone

“Scientology cosmology needs no reform. The brains of some ex-Scientologists need reform and therapy. Some even believe today in Darwin and human ‘democracy.’ The Marcabian takeover of Christianity: L. Ron Hubbard described since the 1960s how extraterrestrial Marcabians and world bankers had taken over Christianity. Today Israel is populated by imposter khazares who belong to Rothschild world banker, who holds the deed (Balfour declaration) and therefore is ipso facto king of the Jews.”



Past is Prologue

1996: Deana Holmes reported receiving legal warnings from the offices of Paul, Hastings, Janofsky & Walker concerning her “encheferated” postings of the secret NOTS levels. Encheferation transforms the text so that it sounds like the Muppets character The Swedish Chef, clearly a different “expression” under copyright law. “As your March 22, 1996 posting to alt.religion.scientology makes clear, you were already aware at the time of your solicitation of NOTS materials that Judge Whyte in the Grady Ward case enjoined such activities on trade secret grounds, as well as prohibited reproduction, distribution and other acts which infringe RTC’s rights under federal copyright law. Despite your being put on formal notice in a March 29, 1996 e-mail from RTC attorney Helena Kobrin (which you acknowledge having received by return e-mail on the same date), your response was the posting, on April 9, 1995, of NOTS Series 1, 31, 34, 35, 36, 38 and 42 in their entirety, and the subsequent reposting of those materials on April 16, 1996. These acts constitute copyright infringement and entitle RTC, _inter alia_, to injunctive relief, multiple awards of statutory damages and the recovery of its attorney’s fees should it be necessary to take court action against you. Your transliteration of the NOTs issues is no defense, nor is your characterization of your April 16 reposting as a ‘satire.’ Since you indicate in your postings that you are a law school graduate, you are fully accountable for all of the consequences of your acts. (Copyright infringement is a strict liability tort; your innocence is no defense but your willfulness can make the remedies against you much more severe.) Given that both the Ward and Henson injunctions prohibit not only the named individuals, but also those acting in concert with them, you may well have already violated one or another of these court orders. To avoid any possible misunderstanding, any further solicitations or postings like yours of March 22, April 9 or April 16 will be treated as a willful violation of RTC’s rights for which you will be held fully accountable.”


Random Howdy

“‘Malcolm In The Middle’ was so good I broke my rule for watching TV shows with Scientologists in them.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Preliminary hearing set for May 18.
Jay and Jeff Spina, Medicare fraud: Jay sentenced to 9 years in prison. Jeff’s sentencing to be scheduled.

Hanan and Rizza Islam and other family members, Medi-Cal fraud: Trial scheduled for May 20 in Los Angeles
David Gentile, GPB Capital, fraud: Pretrial conference set for Apr 29.

Civil litigation:
Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Oral arguments were heard on July 30 at the Eleventh Circuit
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Petition for writ of mandate denied Oct 22 by Cal 2nd Appellate District. Petition for review by state supreme court denied Dec 11.
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Dec 30, Judge Kleifield granted Scientology’s motions to compel arbitration. June 7: Status conference.
Matt and Kathy Feschbach tax debt: Eleventh Circuit ruled on Sept 9 that Feshbachs can’t discharge IRS debt in bankruptcy. Dec 17: Feshbachs sign court judgment obliging them to pay entire $3.674 million tax debt, plus interest from Nov 19.
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Second amended complaint filed, trial set for Nov 9, 2021.
Author Steve Cannane defamation trial: Trial concluded, Cannane victorious, awarded court costs. Case appealed on Dec 24.

Concluded litigation:
Dennis Nobbe, Medicare fraud, PPP loan fraud: Charged July 29. Bond revoked Sep 14. Nobbe dead, Sep 14.
Jane Doe v. Scientology (in Miami): Jane Doe dismissed the lawsuit on May 15 after the Clearwater Police dropped their criminal investigation of her allegations.


SCIENTOLOGY BLACK OPS: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks

The Australian Seven News network cancelled a 10-part investigation of Scientology and its history of dirty tricks. Read the transcripts of the episodes and judge for yourself why Tom Cruise and Tommy Davis might not have wanted viewers to see this hard-hitting series by journalist Bryan Seymour.


After the success of their double-Emmy-winning, three-season A&E series ‘Scientology and the Aftermath,’ Leah Remini and Mike Rinder continue the conversation on their podcast, ‘Scientology: Fair Game.’ We’ve created a landing page where you can hear all of the episodes so far.


An episode-by-episode guide to Leah Remini’s three-season, double-Emmy winning series that changed everything for Scientology watching. Originally aired from 2016 to 2019 on the A&E network, and now on Netflix.


Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Other links: Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?



[ONE year ago] Scientology admits that it numbers ‘tens of thousands’ not millions, as we’ve been saying
[TWO years ago] Leah Remini and Mike Rinder dare Scientology defenders to go on camera
[THREE years ago] A new ex-Scientologist memoir provides a journey through extortion in the rank-and-file
[FOUR years ago] With Scientology at war in Clearwater, religious studies types still seeking its warm & fuzzy side
[SIX years ago] Secretly taped Scientology executive complains about cheating on the ‘Survival Rundown’
[SEVEN years ago] Chris Shelton on the origins of Scientology’s notorious ‘Fair Game’ policy
[EIGHT years ago] Scientology Sunday Funnies: Baby We’re Amazed!
[TEN years ago] Scientology Critics Find That Someone Wants Their Cellphone Records


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 2,285 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 2,789 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,309 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,329 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 1,220 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,527 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,395 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 3,169 days.
Doug Kramer has not seen his parents Linda and Norm in 1,499 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 3,973 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,289 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 11,855 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 7,774 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 3,942 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,523 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 3,784 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 2,822 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,535 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 2,060 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 415 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 1,590 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 6,141 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,290 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,610 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,465 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 3,584 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 1,940 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 6,243 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,349 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 2,751 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,623 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 2,206 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 2,701 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 2,955 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 14,064 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on April 28, 2021 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2020 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2020), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 15 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


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