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Scientology is the coolest religion on earth, video proves

Copenhagen has done it again.

Just when if feels like it couldn’t get any more miserable in this terrible modern world we live in, and the news is so grim we try not to catch sight of the national news, along come our Danish friends to remind us that things could always be worse: we could be Scientologists!

You might remember a previous incident, way back in 2011, when the Advanced Org in Copenhagen put out one of the best Scientology hip-hop videos of all time, with staffers lip-syncing their way through a Chill EB song written for the International Association of Scientologists (IAS). The song was titled “Dauntless, Defiant, and Resolute” — the IAS slogan — and with its break dancers and a cameo appearance of a Mercedes-Benz convertible, it’s one of our favorite things ever.

Anyway, we want to thank the folks over at the Copenhagen Ideal Org who celebrated its 2nd anniversary (it had its grand opening on May 27, 2017) by putting out a video urging its members to help contribute to this year’s “Birthday Game” by getting on course and spending money.


Each year, orgs around the world compete to bring in the most cash as a birthday present to founder L. Ron Hubbard, who was born on March 13. As Rod Keller has explained to us, when an Ideal Org is first opened the fix is in and it will usually win the Birthday Game soon after, which apparently happened with Copenhagen in 2018-2019. Now the org wants to repeat its win, but we know from experience that Ideal Orgs soon settle into a moribund existence as reality sets in that Scientology is not bringing in new bodies, and what few members are left have already been sucked dry.

But there’s no discouraging the Danish, who have put their all into this video to get their local members amped up to help them win another Birthday Game. We wish them the best of luck, and thank them heartily for providing us with a momentary chuckle in these dark times.


We are #1 in the world…
And we intend to keep it so.
Our Birthday Game name is…
The Nordic Gods
Our biggest competitors are:
Sacramento, Twin Cities, Dublin, Kaohsiung, and Milano

We need everyone’s help in order to make it!
Go on course
Go in session
Bring in your friends and family

Join our activities
Spread the word

Fellow Vikings & Freedom Fighters! Join the Nordic Gods in the game where everyone wins!

Right now the subject before us is…
Your planet
Your continent
Your city
Your org

Play the Birthday Game with us!

As a bonus, we just wanted to remember this fun image from the 2017 opening of the Copenhagen Ideal Org, with Scientology leader David Miscavige posing with the local shills, and doing his best to look a bit taller than he actually is.


Scientology’s caption: “Mr. David Miscavige with (left to right): Mr. Rene Jensen, Publishing Executive and Advisor to the Copenhagen Commune; Mr. Bjarke Christensen, Historic Restoration Architect; Mr. Klaus Mygind, Copenhagen City Councilor; and Mr. Thøger Berg Nielsen, Chief Superintendent for the Danish Police (Ret.).”


Bonus items from our tipsters

Meet Scientology Venezuela’s 158th Clear. She’s 15.


More than 40 Clears in Miami, at an org that serves an area with almost 3 million people? This planet will be cleared in no time.


Youth for Human Rights held its Summer Gala this weekend at the Scientology National Affairs building in Washington DC.


As Mike Rinder pointed out, Scientology has the gall to honor Purple Heart winners in Clearwater when the church has disseminated fake documents claiming that its founder, L. Ron Hubbard, earned a couple of the citations, which only go to soldiers injured or killed by the enemy in combat. Hubbard was never in combat in World War 2, and the only ailments he was hospitalized for were hemorrhoids and pink eye. Now that we see how much of a farce this event is, it really turns the stomach.


Meanwhile, overheard in the (Facebook) Free Zone…

“I used to think it was totally crazy to think that the government was secretly involved with aliens, but then I investigated it thoroughly and now I completely know it is the case, it sounds crazy but it’s just true, we have to accept the truth and not reject things because they sound wild or crazy.”


Scientology’s celebrities, ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and more!

[Alanna Masterson, Terry Jastrow, and Marisol Nichols]

We’ve been building landing pages about David Miscavige’s favorite playthings, including celebrities and ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and we’re hoping you’ll join in and help us gather as much information as we can about them. Head on over and help us with links and photos and comments.

Scientology’s celebrities, from A to Z! Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Scientology’s ‘Ideal Orgs,’ from one end of the planet to the other! Help us build up pages about each these worldwide locations!

Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society!

Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in our weekly series. How many have you read?



[ONE year ago] California is on fire, and Scientology naturally sees a golden recruiting opportunity
[TWO years ago] An unusual Scientology advertisement leads to new intel on secretive ‘Int Base’
[THREE years ago] Florida man sues medical sleep testing company after its dapper CEO forced Scientology on him
[FOUR years ago] What really happens at a Scientology rehab? Nick Lister dishes on the Narconon experience
[FIVE years ago] Mareka Brousseau compares growing up in Scientology to The Hunger Games
[SIX years ago] Will Shelly Miscavige Be Trotted Out at the Celebrity Centre Gala As a PR Stunt?
[SEVEN years ago] Movie Night at Scientology’s New York “Org”: The Village Voice Gets Proselytized!
[EIGHT years ago] The Top 25 People Crippling Scientology
[TEN years ago] Tom Cruise and Scientology: A Very French Kiss


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley has not seen his daughter Stephanie in 5,529 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 1,658 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 2,162 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 1,682 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 702 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 593 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 3,900 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 1,768 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 2,542 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 3,316 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 2,662 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 11,228 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 7,147 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 3,315 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 2,896 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 3,157 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 2,196 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 1,908 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 1,434 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 5,523 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 2,663 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 2,983 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 7,839 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 2,958 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 1,313 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 5,616 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 1,722 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 2,124 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 1,996 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 1,579 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 2,074 days.
Mary Jane Sterne has not seen her daughter Samantha in 2,328 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 13,437 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on August 5, 2019 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2018 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2018), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


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