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Almost four years after its grand opening, a new look inside Scientology’s ‘Super Power’

 
We want to thank the tipster who took the time to send us some scans from the new issue of Scientology’s Source magazine, which features the “Perceptics” area on the fifth floor of the Flag Building in Clearwater, Florida, better known as the Super Power Building.

Way back in 2012, we published a massive set of blueprints of this building as it was being completed (part 1, part 2, part 3), and the most interest was always generated by the Star Trek coolness of the fifth floor and its Super Power gadgets. The building was finally opened in November 2013, some 20 years after construction first started, and now wealthy Scientologists pay tens of thousands of dollars to go through the various “rundowns” that make up the Super Power experience.

The futuristic fifth floor is set up to test and improve a Scientologist’s “perceptics.” These are 57 senses that Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard proposed were abilities that the immortal thetan — your true inner self or soul — had once possessed but need to be regained as part of a Scientologist’s exploration of his or her past lives. As you go back millions of years to find out what happened to you on other planets in the galaxy, you should re-experience it with superhuman sense abilities, which the Super Power fifth floor can help you hone.

You might be tempted to imagine that Hubbard pulled this list of perceptics out of his ample posterior, but this is really as science-y as science gets, pilgrim. Here’s the list, from the magazine article:

Time, sight, taste, color, depth, solidity, relative sizes, sound, pitch, tone, volume, rhythm, smell, touch, personal emotion, endocrine states, awareness of awareness, personal size, organic sensation, heartbeat, blood circulation, cellular and bacterial position, gravitic, motion of self, motion (exterior), body position, joint position, internal temperature, external temperature, balance, muscular tension, saline content of cells, fields/magnetic, time track notation, physical energy, self-determinism, moisture, sound direction, emotional state of other organisms, personal position on the Tone Scale, affinity, communication, reality, emotional state of groups, compass direction, level of consciousness, pain, perception of conclusions, perception of computing, perception of imagination, perception of having perceived, awareness of not-knowing, awareness of importance/unimportance, awareness of others, awareness of location and placement, perception of appetite, kinesthesia. (Hey, what happened to oiliness?)

Former Scientologists who were around in the 1970s will tell you that Hubbard dreamed up “Super Power” as a set of exercises to help fatigued Sea Org members get back on track, and it was never meant to be something sold to wealthy “publics” as a way to get superhuman abilities. But that’s just what it’s become, as a sort of add-on to the “Bridge to Total Freedom,” a pricey side quest that members tend to indulge in as they’re working their way up the “Operating Thetan” levels.

And sure, you can see why folks who have already spent years buying in to Hubbard’s space opera fun would want to get beamed up to a setting like this…

 

 
The sexy gyroscope chair tends to get all the attention, when really it’s just a carnival ride that’s been around for years and years, with a little extra skinning to make it look more ultra. But hey, you’re paying hundreds of dollars an hour, you deserve a really cool gyro tilt.

 

 
The magazine includes a neat collage of images that we recognize as some close-ups on the features of set-ups to test your sense of smell and taste and others. Are those small containers on the left side, second picture down, part of our white whale, the oiliness table?

 

 
And if you think we’re kidding about the idea that Scientology is selling super powers to its members, you can read the come-on for yourself…

 

 
Oh, and hey, look who is pictured honing her sense of beingness by fondling what look like 3-D chess pieces from the Starship Enterprise: It’s Princess Joy Villa! When she’s not taking Trump supporters for a ride, she’s apparently working on her superhero transformation.

 

 
The magazine also helpfully lays out the list of rundowns that make up the Super Power experience…

 

THE SUPER POWER RUNDOWNS
Here are unique procedures unlike any other grade, rundown or process. These 10 rundowns unleash your super power as a being.

THE RUNDOWNS START
Super Power starts with a thorough review and preparation of your own unique case — so that you receive maximum case gain on each of the nine succeeding rundowns.

ETHICS AND JUSTICE
The rundowns begins with “something never done in this universe — or any other.” You will clear away Third and Fourth Dynamic engrams related to Ethics, Justice and Injustice. On your entire case. On your whole track. On all flows.

PERSONAL REVIVAL
The purpose of this rundown is simple yet powerful — to restore life to a being. How powerful? So powerful, LRH said it could even “bring a dead Thetan back to life.”

CONSEQUENCES
With this prescient rundown you achieve a restoration of prediction and the full awareness of consequences.

BRIGHT THINK
With this simple yet powerful rundown, you are headed to another rundown that gives case gain equivalent to an entire level of the Grade Chart. The rundown has unique end phenomena that always occurs — with every preclear and every pre-OT.

SUPER STUDY
This rundown will rocket your ability to gain competence … as a being. It’s auditing technology like nothing you’ve ever seen — or experienced. It addresses any element in life that prevents case gain — and all factors that can impair any learning abilities, in life itself.

FALSE DATA THINKING
This is the first time in this universe that a being’s think can be straightened out. It isn’t False Data Stripping, it’s False Data thinking — a restoration of your full thinking ability. This is a rundown that focuses on the very essence of sanity.

CONFRONT AND CAUSE
If a being was all-knowing, how could he be put at effect? It’s the same reason one can be hypnotized. It’s what caused beings to identify with MEST. Five powerful high-echelon processes to move you up to Confront — and all the way to Cause.

POWER OF CHOICE
This will not just increase your ability to make your own decisions, it will increase that choice-making power. You’ll be able to make those choices at an extended distance. You’ll increase the very amount of life you possess. That’s power.

PERCEPTICS
You will experience the rehabilitation of all your 57 perceptics. This means handling any disabilities on any perceptions. With case barriers removed, you can restore them in their entirety. You not only have them all — you’re using them. Drilled to perfection of perception.

 
Back in 2012, Dan Koon let us in on one of the rundowns, “Bright Think.” It turns out that the entire process involves having an auditor ask you, over and over, “Where do you feel safe?”

It’s hard to imagine spending so much money to have some pimply-faced kid ask that question a couple of hundred times while you’re squeezing the cans of an e-meter, but then we aren’t the ones this magazine is pitching so hard.

It’s Super Power!

 
——————–

Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley has not seen his daughter Stephanie in 4,832 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 1,815 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 2,589 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 1,935 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 2,429 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 1,469 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy in 1,181 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 707 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 4,796 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 1,936 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 2,256 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 2,231 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 587 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin in 4,889 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 996 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis for 1,398 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 1,271 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 852 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike in 1,357 days.
Mary Jane Sterne has not seen her daughter Samantha in 1,601 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 12,710 days.

 
——————–

3D-UnbreakablePosted by Tony Ortega on August 4, 2017 at 07:00

E-mail tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2016 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Undergound Bunker (2012-2016), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of L.A. attorney and former church member Vance Woodward
UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists
GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice
SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

Other links: Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | Scientology boasts about assistance from Google | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our Guide to Alex Gibney’s film ‘Going Clear,’ and our pages about its principal figures…
Jason Beghe | Tom DeVocht | Sara Goldberg | Paul Haggis | Mark “Marty” Rathbun | Mike Rinder | Spanky Taylor | Hana Whitfield

 

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  • nottrue
    • gtsix

      Run Teddy, it’s a cult!

    • April

      “Teddy, what are your crimes!?!?!”

  • Chee Chalker

    Jonathon Barbera (@JonathonBarbera) on August 3, 2017 at 4:23 pm

    “I think itโ€™s a fair statement to suggest the GO and OSA have sometimes played on the paranoia some unethical people have. Criminal types want to believe someone is watching them or interested in their crimes even when no one is.

    Missed withholds.”

    So, is Nicole Kidman a criminal, unethical or paranoid?
    Or was she actually monitored (phones tapped) like Marty admitted?

    Notice New Marty never addresses the offenses he admitted to during his Reformation Marty period

    • Noallball

      Indeed Chee. I gave Marty the benefit of the doubt for months; however I gave that up when he threw Tony, Mike, Larry and his other friends under that outsized bus. I know he was supportive of many former scientologists and truly helped them cross over to the land of sanity but whatever caused him to abandon them now is a mystery to which we may never have the answer. You’re absolutely correct that he never addresses his own admitted wrong-doings which, if course, makes it that much harder for any fence sitters to make the jump for freedom. If he lied about what he did when he was in then lied again about what happened when he was out what’s a poor reccomendation for escape. Cheers, Chee.

    • Harpoona Frittata

      “Reformation Marty”…love it! So, what period is he in now? Post-Reformation Muttyism?

      When you think about it in the false dichotomy terms that Mutty has been promoting for awhile now, he’s the first (and hopefully last!) anti-anti-$cn cult expert. Unfortunately for him, he’s now only employable by the cult!

      • PeaceMaker

        Perhaps he hopes to smash his name into history, by being the first person to lead both a reformation and a counter-reformation.

        That’s probably giving him too much credit. I’m trying to think, what historical example is there of someone who left a totalitarian system, only to return to it?

  • JaxNGold

    “…but this is really as science-y as science gets, pilgrim.”

    Dying!

  • EDN/laineybin

    All I got from this brochure: I like their workout attire.

  • stillgrace2
  • How long before they’re wasting hundreds of bucks per hour to fiddle with one of these at FLAG? (Re-lubricate bearings at oiliness table when auditor’s not looking):

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8f8a55c7be199c056c308f3244be1a76152479210d4133ce985ff43ff66090ad.jpg

    • Qbird

      “Looks all High Tech, means nothing” !!!

    • Rasha

      I totally was trying to find a fidget spinner image when I saw the oiliness table, but thought better of it. Glad i did! ^_^

    • JaxNGold

      LOL!

      My son loves those things.

    • Gflded Kim

      Issue eleventy hundred. ๐Ÿ˜‚

    • Nat-leficent

      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
      XD

    • Lolow 0708

      Mark, thank you for always making me laugh. I’d pay money to have a book of your fabulous shoops. “Inside the Mind of Mark” or the like? You seem to have a very twisted mind, and I really like that in a person. Carry on….

  • Lousy Ratatouille

    I guess they’ll use a wog metronome as a gadget for the perceptic ‘rhythm’.

    Here’s one of the other 57 perceptics:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmRTw5ufySU&index=2&list=LLalFrFxLOarw4pLrdxPdCkg

  • GrangerFX

    Would the last remaining suckers on the planet who still have money to waste and have never heard of the Scientology scam, please line up on the left. We have tech to help you deal with your personal inadequacy. You will feel like a superhuman for your entire stay (no promises after you leave and have to face reality).

  • Todd Tomorrow

    I wanted to see the oilines table, damn.

    • Puget Buckeye

      Can someone please explain what the oiliness table is all about? Are you supposed to learn how to distinguish between the oiliness of different things? Or it measures your own oiliness? Is there an optimum oiliness that you aim for? WTH?

      • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

        10W/40 is optimum in most cars.

        • Puget Buckeye

          Thank you. You’ve been very helpful.

      • Todd Tomorrow

        Don’t ask me. ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Observer

        The answer is your first question. They have all different kinds of oils.

  • GrangerFX

    Here is the prototype for the gyroscope chair developed by Shelly Miscavige in a secret base on top of a mountain.
    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/11/06/article-2489172-193D260A00000578-410_964x714.jpg

    • balletlady

      Well….now THIS answers the long time question of “WHERE is Shelly Miscavige”…..Apparently folks she is once again off under the cloak of secrecy on top of yet another mountain designing the “next prototype”….of…..hmmm??? I don’t know , but THAT is the point isn’t it??…..Designing “something” in secret….Wow wee….

  • BosonStark

    Come for the superpowerz but stay for the oiliness. Xenu not included.

    The oiliness levels of top scilebrities are a closely guarded secret. If the levels were ever known to the public, everyone might first get conjunctivitis, then explode.

  • Jimmy3

    “Hey girl. Lemme get a better perspective of your perceptics.”

    Slapped, punched or drink to the face?

    • flyonthewall

      do all three, then she is sure to go home with you

      • Jimmy3

        You! I see you! I see what you did!

        • flyonthewall

          i flipped it and reversed it like Mary J Bilge

          • Jimmy3

            Was it worth it?

            • flyonthewall

              it was until I fuct up and mixed up Mary J Blige with Missy Elliott

            • Jimmy3

              I wasn’t gonna say anything.

    • mark

      Would that be the “Danny” rundown?

  • Tory Christman

    When “in” $cientology. ..I said:

    *I* will ~never~do Super Power!”

    (I was there when they tore down The Grey
    Mass Inn ..to have space for it. I was there when the
    Patrons, who had donated Millions, did
    The Golden Shovel Routine…breaking ground. I was there.
    As Super Power was hyped to all).

    I still called it bullshit! As soon as I heard they were
    Going to have 40+ rundowns and one was the spinning one
    Shown above. Plus the other nail in the coffin
    For me was:
    “You have to run around a pole!”
    *That* was an R.P.F.”rundown” (part of the Sea Org slave camp routine). ..that they wanted
    Me to pay for and support? NO FUCKING WAY!
    Thanks, Tony O for this reminder. Love
    To all of you here!! ๐Ÿ™‚ <3

    • Kestrel

      It’s always good to read a Tory Magoo post.

  • Syd

    I just saw that Big Dumb posted #6 on his blog. I love the fact that Larry Wright is out there living life and having fun while the only sign of life with this Oaf is these horrid videos…….

    • Chee Chalker

      Yeah…..something about chicken wire…..
      Sign you are in a cult: You use the words ‘chicken wire’ while speaking about your ‘religion’

  • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

    Secret RTC Internal Memo

    OSA has discovered a tweet which shows that a wholetrack SP spacelord named “Jehovah” is stealing Scientology Disconnection Tech and using it to run a cult and implant people.

    1. OSA Legal to send Jehovah a cease and desist letter.

    2. Flag to develop and sell a Jehovah’s Witnesses Repair Rundown. Price: $25,000. The JW List 1 will ask, “When did Jehovah implant you?” and related questions. Use the EST Repair Rundown material and change “Werner” to “Jehovah.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4dded31005817a86764d9c5f2ad66fbc5cda22929e0910e28713853ae4bd571d.png

    • Techie

      Jesus got there first.

      Matthew 10:34-39New King James Version (NKJV)
      Christ Brings Division
      34 โ€œDo not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. 35 For I have come to โ€˜set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-lawโ€™; 36 and โ€˜a manโ€™s enemies will be those of his own household.โ€™[a] 37 He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. 38 And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. 39 He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
      Footnotes:
      Matthew 10:36 Micah 7:6
      New King James Version (NKJV)
      Scripture taken from the New King James Versionยฎ. Copyright ยฉ 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved

      And in another place,

      Luke 8:19-21New King James Version (NKJV)
      Jesusโ€™ Mother and Brothers Come to Him
      19 Then His mother and brothers came to Him, and could not approach Him because of the crowd. 20 And it was told Him by some, who said, โ€œYour mother and Your brothers are standing outside, desiring to see You.โ€
      21 But He answered and said to them, โ€œMy mother and My brothers are these who hear the word of God and do it.โ€
      New King James Version (NKJV)
      Scripture taken from the New King James Versionยฎ. Copyright ยฉ 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

      The same story is told in Mark 4:35-41 and Matthew 8:23-37. Fortunately this scripture is not strictly followed in most congregations these days.

    • grundoon

      Better stay away from the Armageddon neighborhood until things cool off. Which one of the God family threatened you? Jehovah again? Yeah, that one’s trouble.

  • sizzle8

    That SuperPower ad reminds me of the Mahari$hi’s promise to teach you how to fly.
    It turned out it was just a way of bouncing on some foam pads.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ef48e168abb52b77775071691542462ac8e73642c026ca8a2e4c3ecb49a20311.jpg

    • Techie

      Carlos Castaneda claimed to have met peyote-eating “brujos” that could fly too. And what about the Flying Nun? Saw that one on TV! Superman was said to have been able to fly, but originally he could only “leap over tall buildings in a single bound”. Later historians embroidered those reports and created the myth of the X-ray eyed, flying man of steel. Originally only aluminum.

      • sizzle8

        Don’t forget Bewitched!

      • salin

        When I was a kid the comic books were pushing futuristic ‘hovercrafts’ that were supposed to let you well – kind of fly.

        • Techie

          The Jetsons… and what about jet-packs? Almost 20 years into the 21st century and Buck Rogers is still not around.

          • salin

            But we do have drones.

            Odd thing – in a graduate course on the Economics of Education, we had to read Castaneda’s book about the peyote-eating Brujas. No connection to the course, what so ever. The exercise was supposed to open our minds to alternative ways of viewing things? I just think the prof (and my advisor) was an aging hippy and liked to have a reason to reread the book once a year.

    • mark

      According to one of the sequels to Hitchhiker’s guide to the Galaxy, to fly, one only needed to throw oneself at the ground and miss.

  • Jgg2012

    Any Burlwood pens?

  • Aquaman

    Hahaha! You fools! Your dumb oiliness table was your only defense against me!!!

    • flyonthewall

      aquaman, your head is cut off in your avi. You look even more ridiculous than normal

      • Aquaman

        I know. I just went swimming and they were out of towels and I got water in tge disqus machine.

  • Jimmy3

    “They do all these things! If you’re critical out there, watch out, ’cause [The Church of Scientology] can kidnap you at night, and lock you in a chicken-wire cage!”

    — Marty Rathbun

    • GrangerFX

      https://youtu.be/A_qDtYip8nc?t=2m
      Proof? You want PROOF? You can’t handle the proof.

      • Jimmy3

        DOX’D

      • Todd Tomorrow

        I don’t remember the chicken wire cage part. I hope they did that to Mark though.

        • salin

          Maybe not chickenwire, but they seem to be holding/confining him in that musty brown suit for-ever.

          • Puget Buckeye

            At the risk of pointing out the obvious, we can only see him from the chest down. He may very well be confined to a chicken wire cage on the bottom half or two thirds of his body. He might be held hostage as we speak! His eye rolls and smirks could be hidden SOS messages. (OK, I’ll stop now. Or for a while at least.)

            • salin

              Dang, if only we had a smirk/count decoder we could get the message. Like a Morse Code for the truly arrogant.

            • Syd

              He’s prob naked from the waist down……

            • Puget Buckeye

              Oh, why did you have to do that? Why? Running for the brain bleach.

            • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

              He stole that from me. I’m gonna sue his ass!

            • Syd

              You should – he can’t get by with that! Makes me wonder what else he’s stolen from you….

            • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

              Not the brown suit, that’s fer sure.

            • Syd

              And certainly not his stupid smirk….

            • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

              No, I have my own stupid smirk – it’s like TC in Top Gun.

            • Syd

              Perfect……..

            • Puget Buckeye

              I don’t know anything for sure, but you might just want to leave his ass untouched. Not worth it.

            • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

              Don’t worry, I have higher standards than that.

      • flyonthewall

        maybe I want to be locked in a chicken wire cage? That’s how I get my jollies

      • pluvo

        Your posting it here just gives him more clicks, IMO.

        • Jimmy3

          He queue’d to the relevant quote

        • sizzle8

          About 5 clicks – maybe.

        • GrangerFX

          Aww let him have a few clicks. How many clicks before he can afford a new jacket?

      • Techie

        Maybe he has “chicken wire” confused with “chain link’? There were definitely chain link fence enclosure areas out at the Old Gilman House where people were held. I don’t know if Vicky Azneran was ever held there but certainly others were. More info here https://www.villagevoice.com/2012/03/27/scientologys-concentration-camp-where-can-miscavige-put-the-hole-now/ The whole area has been cleared now, houses and fences and gardens all gone, but there are several stories of those who were held there and escaped or went on in the Sea Org despite the awful treatment they got there. Being held in a “chicken wire cage” wouldn’t be a very big issue for most humans. The material can be ripped apart by hand with some force. Chain link is another story. Especially if it is topped by razor wire. Denial is not just a river in Egypt, Marty.

    • Techie

      How can I be “critical” when I can’t stop laughing?

    • NOLAGirl (Stephanie)

      BAHAHAHAHAHA!! Paranoia much?

      Please come messing around on my property at night Scientology.

      • Taffy Sinclair

        Gunz blazin’!!!

        • NOLAGirl (Stephanie)

          I’d just suggest a short scan of Louisiana’s trespassing and “self-protection” laws. ๐Ÿ˜€

          • Taffy Sinclair

            Even better!!! More ominous.

            • NOLAGirl (Stephanie)

              Not so much. While I don’t approve of how some State’s handle the law, this is a “stand your ground” State. Which means if I find you breaking into my home or car or anything on my property, I’m within my right to use deadly force against you.

              Yes, I will be arrested. Yes, I will go to jail. And yes I will have to go before a Judge and talk with the D.A. and he/she would have to decide to criminally charge me or not. More than likely, a woman alone in this situation, with no extenuating circumstances (like, it’s her ex-boyfriend or something) is going to walk.

              But they’re excellent word-clearer’s and the Louisiana Criminal Code is available online. ๐Ÿ˜€

            • Taffy Sinclair

              At least you know the law, and did the research. I’m sure many a persons have been screwed over by not knowing some basic laws in their state.

  • Todd Tomorrow

    Mark is such a tool. He has two links on his youtube page. One is to The Bunker and the other one is a dead link to, the IBT http://www.ibtimes.com/top-scientolog

  • Rasha

    TOT: Counting down the last hour of a terrible week at work, looking forward to seeing my foxgloves and listening to some Enya and Daft Punk to the sunset after work. My perceptics will be comfortably numb within… oh…. 3 hours. Back on lata. Gotta lie about my timesheet and sneak out. -_^

    • Rasha

      …oh, and they’ve apparently blocked Youtube here at work. So it’s good that I have everything from the Andrews Sisters and Rockapella to Adam Ant and Chumbawamba on my phone.

      • Taffy Sinclair

        I’ll be seeing your parts soon, my dear Rashafarian. New England is on my flight plan!!! What what!!!

        • Rasha

          *hides parts*

          Oh! haha! I see… Do visit Acadia, if you have time. Rasha’s favorite park. ^_^

          • Taffy Sinclair

            I’m going to the cape, where’s Acadia Park?? (cat face)

            • Rasha

              Just off the coast of Maine. 5 hour drive from Boston. =^_^=

              Rasha’s been there in Spring, Summer and late Autumn. Next visit will be Winter. Many happy there. Bar Harbor is a lovely little town, and the rest of the island is just amazing hours of being there.

      • Taffy Sinclair

        The only music I have on my phone is “My name is Luca.” And it’s sung by Homer Simpson
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQGKGADvNIQ

        • Syd

          I had that song (that version) stuck in my head along with Homer singing “Spiderpig” for weeks…….now it’s back……

  • Taffy Sinclair

    “Bring a dead thetan back to life??”

    I’m super-perplexed! I thought we lived for trillions and trillions of eons, jumping from one meat corpse to a new meat baby!! Krustie Alley said so!!

    So, how does a thetan die??? (Other than hydrogen-bomb volcanoes.)

    • Rasha

      All of these questions may be answered with just a small downpayment of… well, let’s just get started and sign this contract, shall we???

      • Taffy Sinclair

        Can we do my auditing at Danvers State Lunatic Asylum?? I know they’re apartments now, but…. I like the atmosphere.. Evils sikes and all…..

    • Syd

      Ahhhh – good catch Taffy

  • whingeybingey

    Surely they should not legally be allowed to claim to give others superpowers?

    • Jimmy3

      I know a lawyer based in New York. His name is Matthew Murdock. Tell him “our mutual friend” sent you. He will help.

    • flyonthewall

      who would you even report that to? The FCC? They be like, gtfo.

      • mark

        That wouldn’t help. Write a letter to Ron, that ALWAYS worked in the past.

    • Rasha

      “That’s because Super Power delivers bona fide capabilities unique to you and allows you to access your fullest potential physically, mentally and spiritually.”

      So, if nothing at all changes for you after you suffer through their regimen and pay all that money, it’s because you have no capabilities and/or have not reached your fullest potential. Even though it allows you to, it’s still up to you if you can actually do it.

      • Puget Buckeye

        In other words, you gotta have super powers in order to get super powers. Circular reasoning.

    • NOLAGirl (Stephanie)

      If you look at the fine print you get to once you’re involved & signing things, way at the bottom obviously drawn up by wog lawyers, they go back on all this and say they make no claims about anything (obviously I’m paraphrasing here but their contracts are online somewhere), basically clearing them of responsibility if Scientology doesn’t deliver what it promised. Bait and switch baby, bait and switch. That’s their game.

    • Other religions offer heaven. So far no-one has come back to sue their church because they never got there. It must be true then that there is a heaven.

  • Observer
    • Shut Up Oracle

      LOL. Seems reasonable.

    • Jimmy3

      And if he or she works hard and studies hard, that child has a legitimate chance to become President of the United States. Used to be a lie when you said that to kids.

      • OOkpik

        By all indications, you don’t even need to study.

        • Puget Buckeye

          Or work hard.

          • salin

            Or know things, at all.

        • Jimmy3

          Oh, yeah, of course not. I meant literally fucking anyone can be president.

      • That’s assuming in 35+ years the Russians are still offering their services to presidential candidates.

    • NOLAGirl (Stephanie)

      Nah, the grown-ass man wearing Juggaloo make up would have just had to listen over the phone while I was hearing the results. I can remember waiting to find out, no way was I waiting for anything when the day of that ultrasound came. ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Sherbet

      Jeez, why didn’t I choose, as the father of my child, a boyfriend who wears juggalo face paint that takes a few days to wear off? That baby is golden with a dad like that.

      • Kestrel

        Probably because your Facebook avatar isn’t a picture of you as a juggalo.

        • Sherbet

          “Timmy, what does your family do on the weekends?”
          “My dad paints his face like a juggalo, but then we can’t go anywhere until it wears off.”

  • Observer

    This is interesting. I decided to check up on Kuba Ka on FB, and it seems he really has retired. It’s definitely him.

    I hope he finds what he’s looking for in life outside the alligator pit of showbiz.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9e23c5fe62a1a4db65f08ee22f0d1cae03a70d65eddfaf1cace37e8d6d942768.jpg

    • Nat-leficent

      wtf

    • Jimmy3

      That’s definitely him. He finally retired to Sim City as a private Simizen. Good for sim. Him.

    • Kestrel

      For sure the persona has been retired. The question is, what’s in store for Mr. Stepniak? Is it really pro-wresting, like his Wikipedia page suggests?

      • salin

        What a colorful (?) character? Seems like he is trying to get famous by just being ‘known’ ?

        • Kestrel

          It seems to be working for the Kardashian crew.

          • salin

            Exactly.

      • Observer

        oh myyyyyy

        • Kestrel

          By the way, I loved you in Star Trek.

          • Observer

            I’ve changed a lot since those days.

    • Liberated

      Too bad the shirtless Calvin Klein model days are over, can’t ya just see him in a pair of stonewashed ?

  • ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WONDER WOMAN AND SUPERMAN WHAT THE FUCK HOW WHY NO ONE EVER OUTRIGHT SAID THIS TO ME WHEN I WAS INVOLVED IN THE CULT. THIS IS RIDICULOUS HOW DO YOU STILL BELIEVE THIS WHEN OTS ARE OLD CROTCHETY HOMELESS-LOOKING AND DYING OF TREATABLE DISEASES. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH STUPID FUCKING PEOPLE. HAVE ANY OF THEM EVEN TRIED TO FLY OR USE A LASSO. IT’S NOT EASY. I’M SO ANNOYED RN MY PARENTS DITCHED ME FOR THIS KIND OF STUPIDITY.

    • TonyOrtega

      Rant of the year.

      • daisy

        I have rage quit at least once a month and none of them qualified for rant of the year . Goddamn Russians screwing me out of the victory. Fake news Tony , fake news.

        • Liberated

          Sorry, I’m the leaker.

          • Kestrel

            If that’s the case, you might want to ease off on the Olestra consumption.

            • Liberated

              shut-up…I meant it a good way ๐Ÿ™‚

            • Taffy Sinclair

              Ha! Anal leakage joke!!

          • daisy

            Me too. Depends are more expensive but worth it

    • Aquaman

      https://az616578.vo.msecnd.net/files/2016/04/07/635956568088179692916627265_water.gif

      CALM YOUR WATERS, MAN. THESE PHONY HEROES ARE OF NO CONCERN.

    • JaxNGold

      Rant on, Derek. God knows you’ve got every right to be pissed off and deeply hurt. Big hugs to you…

  • exccla

    Tony, I really like the links you added and the guide to the best of your articles and blogs. A new Leah site has brought many here and facebook with questions about the cherch and these will help answer their basic questions.

  • nottrue

    I did the Super Power and spent all that time and money and I am ready to go… Damn it I said I am ready to GO . What the hell is the hang up..Come on it is hot out here.. . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f967d46d8e0ee34d5c6245ccb41c2ebd65cf1f61e3589405951ec68f65609a2.jpg

    • Kestrel

      There’s too much money in your wallet. We can help you with that.

    • This is fucking insane. This isn’t even a metaphor or a casual implication. This is straight up saying that people will become superheros and yet not a single scientologist has ever done anything even remotely interesting or miraculous. NEVER. There is not one recorded instance of it. They don’t even perform charitable acts (books do not count as charity). This is just….I have no more words.

      • JaxNGold

        Exactly. And when a $cientologist is asked to prove they have any OT abilities, they come up with every excuse why they can’t or won’t. How very convenient. It truly is absurd.

        • Kestrel

          Except parking spaces and green lights.

          • JaxNGold

            Oh yeah, I forgot about that nonsense.

            Well, I guess I’m OT then because just today I found the greatest parking spot ever at Trader Joe’s. Also, almost all the lights turned green very quickly on the way there. Super duper powers at their best!

    • Taffy Sinclair

      Oh, you said GO! Like, “let’s go!”
      I thought you meant Guardian’s Office! My bad!

  • Paul V. Tupointeau

    — “C’mmand Intenshun!” —

    Our Davey’s been spending
    More long nights, unending
    Keeping the company of good Scotch and ice
    His following dwindles
    He dreams of new swindles
    Some more OT levels, now that would be nice!

    He pours three more fingers
    The flavor, it lingers
    Alcohol helps him forget all his pain
    It’s coming on morning
    An idea is forming
    Buoyed by the liquor that’s soaking his brain

    His bizzion is vlurring
    His sleech it is splurring
    He bellows for Blinky to hear his command!
    And so ends my telling,
    Why regges are selling
    The Pooper Shower Rundown for seventy grand

    ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Sherbet

      Very clever, Paul V.

  • nottrue
    • Observer

      Forget flying–she needs sleep

      • Liberated

        And Xanax.

    • Kestrel

      I want to spend all my money, and some of the bank’s, along with all my spare time to feel like she does.

    • GrangerFX

      You fly in your dreams … but you don’t get much chance to do that.

      • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

        I can fly in my dreams. It’s freckin’ awesome!

        • Puget Buckeye

          Are you wearing clothes? I mean when you’re dream flying.

          • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

            It can get a bit chilly up there, so I take a light wrap with me.

            • Taffy Sinclair

              Up there? The kuiper belt (or wherever LRH claims to have travelled?) Cuz he sayz its warm….

            • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

              You talk to LRH in your dreams? You lucky so-and-so!

              I stick to our own terrestrial atmosphere when flying. I’m not some crazy scientoology woman who can just snap her fingers and be on another planet.

            • Liberated

              You mean the Van Allen belt ?

              Still, take a jacket.

            • Puget Buckeye

              Good to know. I wouldn’t want you to get cold.

            • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

              Frostbite sucks – even in dreams.

            • Kestrel

              Don’t forget: Frostbite manifests at the appendages first.

        • Kestrel

          Flying is wonderful and perfectly normal. Soaring above the fields… Hovering over that one spot… And then lunch appears and we dive!

        • Liberated

          Yes, but are you fully dressed ?

          • GrangerFX

            You worried the dream people will see him naked?

            • Liberated

              No, but Johnny has a penchant for ….the full Monty.

          • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

            Am I EVER fully dressed..?

            • Taffy Sinclair

              I certainly hope NOT!!

        • jayla197145

          Me too!

          • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

            Hello, Jayla197145. How are you?

    • Sherbet

      “I am so frickin’ happy to be a scientologist, you can read it all over my face.”

  • downtherabbithole

    OT: Is it terribly wrong to throw away a bible?

    ETA- I do not consider myself a religious person, but some how it felt wrong throwing that bible away.

    • Kestrel

      Depends on what you mean by “terribly.” I threw a bible away once with little to no effect. The lightning bolt blew my shoes off, and I had difficulty speaking for awhile, but I’m okay now. Now. Now.

      • downtherabbithole

        Well hell I do not want to lose any of my lovely shoes!

    • Liberated

      Depends on who signed it – Matthew, Mark…ehh, but Jesus hell yeah.

    • nottrue

      As long as you are not walking under a ladder at the time you should be OK.

      • downtherabbithole

        Note to self – stay away from ladders – got it

    • Sherbet

      I do consider myself a religious person, but when an elderly acquaintance died, we filled trash bags with religious books that he had collected. Nobody wanted them. Some books went into the recycling bin. My opinion is that there’s nothing sacred about paper and ink.

      • downtherabbithole

        This makes me feel much better – thank you Sherbet

        • Sherbet

          Of course, this means we’ll both be going to hell. ๐Ÿ˜€

          • downtherabbithole

            See you there with bells on

            • Sherbet

              You betcha! Won’t we have fun!

      • Kestrel

        I hope you riffed through the pages. We found $1,000 at 1 Timothy 6:10 when grandma died.

        • Gflded Kim

          Smart grandma..

          • Kestrel

            We found her “medicinal” bourbon behind a stack of paperbacks.

            • downtherabbithole

              You had a wonderful grandma!

            • Gflded Kim

              Very smart grandma! ๐Ÿป

            • Sherbet

              Ephesians 5:18

            • Liberated

              Alright grandma.

        • downtherabbithole

          Oh shit – just my luck I threw away some $$$

        • Sherbet

          This guy didn’t have 2 cents. I think.

  • Ann B Watson

    I have not had so much fun with an auditor question since eons ago lol. Bright Think sounds like a Tesla experiment gone wild & Where Do You Feel Safe? Makes me feel very quesy & uneasy. And all the lovely Thetans throwing more money for dm to stash in the titanium come back Ron capsules. It would play as a Flash Gordon movie if the entire concept of Perceptics & the 5th Floor Super Power Space were not such whoppers it is beyond campy. Rotten and Evil is the creed of the Cult of Scientology. ๐Ÿ’›

    • downtherabbithole

      Happy Belated Birthday Ann. Wishing you all the best.

  • BosonStark

    Super Powerz “delivers bone fide capabilities,” unlike the pretend ones Scientologists get in their first decades of Scientology. Why are they bone fide? I guess it’s because you get a certificate, and it’s all backed by years of research by Dr. Hubtard.

    I think they put the oiliness table on the back burner, because it’s one thing to go around smelling things and pretending it’s giving you superpowerz, and quite another to deal with the meaning of one’s oiliness level. With some of these other rides, at least you get a little dizzy and you can pretend how special that is, and unique to you. But if you’re too oily, or not oily enough, what can be done about it? What does it mean ecclesiastically? Oiliness could be the core of OT Levels 9 through 27. It’s the Xenu of superpowerz.

    • Kestrel

      You also get a spiffy track suit with an Atari logo on it.

      • BosonStark

        I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s an extra. But apparently, not wearing one would be like going into space without a space suit. You have to wear the suit for protection, and to get the powerz. (Maybe there’s an oil reservoir hidden in the suit and it has to be activated when you go on the oiliness table.) It’s all a very exclusive group [of nutters].

  • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)
    • Puget Buckeye

      That sounds naughty.

      • Kestrel

        Nothing scares a parent more than their child wandering into the adult section of a Shell station on the way to the bathroom.

  • Intergalactic Walrus
    • Kestrel

      This is what “spiritual freedom” looks like when thoughts turn to written words.

      • Intergalactic Walrus

        She’s very compassionate and tolerant of other religions too…
        (refresh)

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0d8630a80b29a3b84df89929d657531092e9e9ceafb3a1007641ce2901dca039.png

        • Kestrel

          What a pleasant perspective on her fellow man.

        • Sherbet

          This person is a disgusting example of humanity.

        • Observer

          The stupid is corrosive

        • Puget Buckeye

          OMG OMG OMG Is she posting this under her real name?!?

          • Sherbet

            Why not? She’s probably proud of her opinions.

            • Puget Buckeye

              I suppose so.

          • Kestrel

            “Kuba Ka” was already taken.

            • Harmless Weirdo

              I wonder what Jakub Stepniak’s up to, these days? For someone who was so thirsty for fame, he’s done a remarkable job of disappearing.

              At least he’s not in Scientology, wherever he is and whatever he’s doing.

          • Intergalactic Walrus

            Yep. I was debating if I should include her name or not. She is a doctor too and there is even a YouTube video with her plugging some kind of quackery. BTW, she also wants to burn Obama in effigy at the Lincoln memorial. She needs to wordclear “lynching”. Nasty, paranoid stuff.

            • NerdHerd

              She’s drinkin the kool aid AND promoting woo? *DOUBLE FACEPALM*

            • Intergalactic Walrus

              Yeah, it is hard to see but she is wearing a doctor’s lab coat in that pic.

            • NerdHerd

              *blushes* and I cant see detail O.o forgot my reading glasses lol

            • Harmless Weirdo

              It never ceases to amaze me how charlatans like this, who reject the medical knowledge and techniques brought to us via science, are always so eager to put on a white lab coat. They (and the people who choose their quackery) reject science-based medicine, but are more than happy to adopt symbols of authority from actual scientists and physicians.

            • Kestrel

              It’s as if a business masquerading as a cult adopted the symbol of an established religion, say, a cross, as its symbol.

            • Harmless Weirdo

              Yeeeaahhh…funny how that works, eh?

            • My view is that if a Facebook post is public such that one need not even be logged into Facebook to see it (and indeed can see if from a browser that has NEVER been logged into Facebook), AND it is not by or involve a minor, then it is properly in the public domain, there is no invasion of privacy, and it can be cross-posted. I generally screenshot it twice. First, as one normally would. Secondly, as:

              https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/36fbb32065ba6f7fc914d23926992d8dc0204959586e554066de1a14f0f17500.png

        • Observer

          Hmmmm…I wonder how the NOI would feel about this post…

          • Kestrel

            She is probably blissfully unaware of the connection.

        • downtherabbithole

          I would suggest that she rots in hell but apparently Sherbet & I are headed there (thrown away religious books) & I think I can speak for the both of us, we don’t want this sorry excuse of a human in hell with us!

          • Puget Buckeye

            I don’t think you have to worry. There’s a special kind of hell for people like her.

          • Sherbet

            Good thinking. Let’s keep hell pure and fun.

            Here’s some real punishment for Ms. Compassion: She should remain a member of the church of scientology for life, depleting her funds, disconnecting from friends and family, and eventually being tossed out like an old Kleenex when the church no longer can squeeze anything out of her.

            • Liberated

              Let’s keep hell pure and fun….that’s sorta beautiful, Sherb. !

              That’s print on a T-shirt cool..

            • Sherbet

              I have a way with words, don’t I.

            • Liberated

              Oui..

            • Kestrel

              Yes, you do.

          • Harmless Weirdo

            Frankly, she’s already rotting in her own kind of hell–seeing threats and enemies everywhere, anticipating the worst, hardening her heart and cutting herself off from other people out of fear.

            This is not a happy human being, free from anxiety and filled with inner peace. This is an angry, terrified human being. It’s really got to suck to be her, and have this as the contents of her head and heart.

            I wonder how many people she’s ruthlessly disconnected from, in the hope that it would fix her problems?

    • downtherabbithole

      Such compassion… Do these people even understand the concept of compassion. It is always about the $$$ with this group even when relating to human nature.

      • Kestrel

        “Compassion” is not on Hubbard’s tone scale. “Sympathy” is at 0.9 on the Tone Scale, beneath “Covert Hostility” at 1.1.

        • NerdHerd

          It allows them to dehumanize and marginalize those who are “not able.” Make people into things. Ugh.

          • Kestrel

            Things secondary to money passed uplines.

            • NerdHerd

              It makes me shudder that this “religion” wants to rule this planet…the galaxy….etc.

            • Kestrel

              The scientologists don’t realize their problem is not SPs. Their problem is that the planet never asked to be clear.

            • NerdHerd

              Yeah and more of us woggies understand what clear means. People like TO, MR, and LR are out there, SCN doesn’t like the light being shined on them. No more operating in the dark, so they send out people to dead agent their critics….once again.

    • Sherbet

      “…the body that YOU chose this lifetime.”

      What else can I say…

      • Taffy Sinclair

        WHO IS THIS trashcan???

        • Sherbet

          An embarrassment, even to scientology, and that’s really saying something.

          • Puget Buckeye

            An embarrassment to all of mankind. Wow. Just wow.

            • NerdHerd

              Its Nazi philosophy without the racial theory added O.o thinking like that causes death on a mass scale.

          • Taffy Sinclair

            I don’t recognize the pic!

            • Sherbet

              I don’t know where Walrus dug her up.

            • Intergalactic Walrus

              Facebook. You would not believe the amount of delusional, hate-fueled, xenophobic,
              islamaphobic, anti-semitic, paranoid, conspiracy obsessed, scamming, and quack crap that I’ve seen posted on social media by crazy clams. I try to keep my comments here on the light side but believe me, I’ve seen a lot of dark stuff out there. ๐Ÿ™

            • Sherbet

              That’s one reason I’m not on FB. That, and because it would cut into my Bunkering time.

            • Liberated

              I know, I get everything I need on the bunker.

            • Kestrel

              If it weren’t for the Bunker, I would have no idea who Perfume was.

            • Sherbet

              Ix-nay on the erfume-Pay. Rasha may be around.

            • NerdHerd

              Its like a singularity of concentrated crazy bruh

        • Taffy Sinclair

          Someone give me her name? please?

          • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

            Don’t tell anyone I did this, OK?

            This is all I could find, before I couldn’t be bothered to look any more:

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/18dfe6bef32ed30a0829386918f15857615406f13398538f4d0a4e075694d720.jpg

            D Mangels
            Jacksonville, Florida Area
            Naprapathic/Naturopathic Dr
            Alternative Medicine

            Skills:
            Holistic Health, Alternative Medicine, Naturopathy, Functional Medicine, Shoulder Pain, Neck Pain, Detoxification, Struc\, Neuromuscular…, Nutraceuticals, Medical Nutrition…, Life Improvement, Fitness, Nutritional Counseling, Wellbeing, Herbal, Sports Injuries, Wellness Coaching, Pain Management, Supplements, Prevention

            Education:
            Vanguard,UNC
            DN,ND, Naturopathy, Naprapathy

            Experience:
            Ask DrDeTox 1986 โ€“ Present
            HealthTouch July 1986 โ€“ 1993

            • Kestrel

              Alternative Medicine? I’m shocked. Shocked!

              P.S. I swear I thought her last name was Mengele for a second there.

            • Sherbet

              Dyin’ laughing.

            • Puget Buckeye

              I thought that was her name too. I gasped out loud!

            • Liberated

              Dr. Mengele….I swear I was just going to say the same thing.

            • daisy

              I swear on a bible I thought it was until you mentioned it wasn*t .

            • Kestrel

              Let me fish the one out that someone threw away earlier.

            • Sherbet

              Naprapathy…must be the science of douchebaggery.

            • Kestrel

              I gotta dollar that says it’s a fancy word for “touch assists..”

            • Taffy Sinclair

              Luv You, John-John!!! Thnks for the intel!

            • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

              ๐Ÿ˜‰

            • downtherabbithole

              She is just too damn scary!

            • Intergalactic Walrus
            • Kestrel

              If those color-coded characters scrolling on the screen behind her is supposed to be computer-related, somebody’s already been fired.

            • Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn)

              The website in the video is no longer active (although still registered).
              The website of the of the founder of SWS, Dr. Chris Kaufmann’s website is also inactive (but again, still registered).

              Here is what someone said about SWS in 2013:

              “SCAM ALERT “Chris Kaufmann and Robert J. Religa have sucked a good doctor down their rabbit hole…..I personally know the “true” inventor that developed this technology and I have personally read the legal papers ……CHRIS you are still scamming people….this makes me wanna PUKE…..”

              Kaufmann and Religa are scamming individuals into acquiring Synchronicity Wave Systems, which are knock-off versions of another rejuvenating technology. To put it simply, Jedi Technologies (jeditec.com) and Dr. Chris Kaufmann (drchriskaufmann.com) who market the Synchronicity Wave Technology can not provide any clinicals or research to back up it’s boasted efficacy and I will not stand idly by while I watch good doctors and practitioners purchase unproven “knocked-off” technology. These people lie through their teeth in order to dupe people out of their hard earned money!

              Chris Kaufmann is scum, and a thief!”

            • Sherbet

              I wonder if she accepts Muslim patients, feeling as she does that they are, and I quote, “like LICE and LEECHES.”

            • salin

              University of North Carolina gives a degree in “Vanguard, DN or ND (wth?), Naturapathy, and Naparathy? Ya. Right. Guessing you have some non accredited place in NC called Vanguard and the way she reps it strongly implies it is through UNC. Total B.S.

      • downtherabbithole

        Shit had I known there was a choice in the body I have, it certainly would not look like the one I have – sigh………….

        • Sherbet

          I hear ya. I’m OK with the gender, but I would have chosen something in a size 8.

          • downtherabbithole

            8 Works for me

            ETA: Hell a 10 would work for me

            • Puget Buckeye

              Can I sign up for one of those too?

            • Sherbet

              Choose what you want…NEXT lifetime, per lrh.

            • Puget Buckeye

              Oh yeah. I forgot about the fine print. Bummer.

            • Intergalactic Walrus

              So LRH actually chose THAT body for himself? Jeepers!

            • Sherbet

              Oh, but wait until he comes back! He’ll be a hottie.

            • Liberated

              I sincerely doubt that, plus I don’t think the “acceptance level” on Target 2 is that picky.

        • Kestrel

          OT10 will enable the thetan to know what the body will look like at adulthood. There will be battles among in-between-body thetans for the next generation’s George Clooney.

      • salin

        I don’t remember choosing my body, or family – though I think if I had a choice – I would choose my family, flaws and all.

        That said – the absurdity of the statement struck me as well.

  • I can’t believe Scientologists eat this crap up. Really. If they just had the ability to be 3 feet back of their heads, they’d see right through these horrible fake parody pictures littered in the publications promoting this “Super Power” … about the only thing super is the amount of money one spends doing this stuff.

    • neverin

      It does all seem so silly. Like a really expensive ropes course. If they only knew how affordable similar therapy/life courses are. They are a lot easier to understand. No stupid, over the top, space opera, intellectual crap. Just straight forward life lessons that make you feel just as good, without the hard core up sale at the end. And you don’t have to do a stupid stupendous write up at the end.

  • BosonStark

    Maybe clearing away the Third and Fourth Dynamic engrams related to Ethics, Justice and Injustice is โ€œsomething never done in this universe โ€” or any other” because, hey, who would want to? I’ve never even thought about doing it, but I guess that’s why Dr. Hubtard gave us Scientology, so we could see how important doing cockamamie bullshit like this really is.

    They should have some videos of the whales and scilebrities getting shaken and stirred. They’d sell more ride tickets to their crazy fair that way.

    • NerdHerd

      I’d like to see vid of the Elfmans getting regged ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Taffy Sinclair

    I have a question for any of the Ex-members here….
    I know the sec-check involved the questions asking if you ever had bad thoughts re: LRH, Mary Sue, or Davey-Boy. Anyone ever said “Yes!”

    And what was the consequence??
    Curious, because we all have unkind thoughts about other people. It’s just uncommon to be forced to confess them….

  • Susan B.

    Hi all, I’m going to act like a troll because I’m at work WORKING because a bunch of us on the Left Coast have not yet started out weekends!!! So here’s some info about Anne Archer/Jastrow’s book tour. They’re in the Bay Area this weekend. Wonder if these book stores would host them if they knew that they are Scientologists:
    http://www.booksinc.net/event/terry-jastrow-anne-archer-opera-plaza Have great weekends, everyone! Susan

  • flyonthewall

    fucking hobo shitlord, I’m onto you

  • downtherabbithole

    Is there anything worse than having a wonderful dinner only to find there is no deliciously decadent dessert to follow. Alice really needs to learn how to bake treats.

    • Kestrel

      “One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small
      And the ones that mother gives you, don’t do anything at all

      Go ask Alice, when she’s ten feet tall”

      • Liberated

        Are you a hippie ?

        • Kestrel

          Not anymore.

        • Sherbet

          Yes, but it doesn’t show if I wear a long shirt.

          • Gflded Kim

            You are on ๐Ÿ”ฅ Gurl!

          • daisy

            Oh my , that was amusing .

  • Liberated

    I just got final jeopardy right…the answer was Copernicus !
    I feel good:)

  • neverin

    Do you have to be at the OT level in order to take Super Power courses? Could anyone with the money go in and take those courses first.

    • Intergalactic Walrus

      Joy Villa is not an OT. You don’t have to be an OT but you have to be a $cientologist. And have the $$$.