TODAY AT SUBSTACK: If you’ve signed up for free emails at Substack, you will receive today’s feature story at your inbox: Whoa — The oral arguments hearing has been scheduled in the direct criminal appeal of Scientology celebrity and ‘That ‘70s Show’ actor Danny Masterson — and you can tune in to watch it. The stakes could not be higher for Masterson, who turned 50 years old in prison on March 13. [What is this Substack thing, anyway?]
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Technology Cocktail
“Anything that a criminal seeks to obtain can be obtained without crime if one is bright enough. Criminals, as police can tell you, are usually very, very stupid. The things they do and clues they leave around are hallmarks of very low IQ. The «bright» criminal is found only in fiction. Now and then a Hitler comes along and begins a myth that the highly positioned are criminal — but Hitler (and Napoleon and all their ilk) were stupid beyond belief. Hitler destroyed himself and Germany didn’t he? And Napoleon destroyed himself and France. So not even the highly placed criminals are bright. Had they really been bright they could have accomplished a
successful reign without crime. The bones of old civilizations are signboards of stupidity. The jails are bursting with people so stupid they did bad things and even those uncleverly.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1982
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“Power of choice, when that is too badly thrown aside, people object to this thing. That is why slavery has gotten a bad name as a practice. In actual fact you look at the economics of it and you find a lot of things about a slave society which are quite interesting. You find a society which is, has no objection to this sort of thing and which can free slaves rather easily and you find a lot of people walking up and saying, ‘I want to be a slave.’ But slavery itself is this thing of a beingness, an enforced beingness over which an individual has no power of choice and therefore it gets a bad name.” — L. Ron Hubbard, May 17, 1962
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“The activity called ‘Black Propaganda’ consists of spreading lies by hidden sources. It inevitably results in injustices being done by those who operate without verifying the truth. For instance all the attacks on Scientology were Black Propaganda from hidden Fascist groups. This has caused injustice. Black Propaganda was a Nazi specialty. But injustice recoills on those who deal in it. Thus a hidden lying source can cause authority to act. Thus authority can be undermined by being made to commit injustices….If the world were honest, justice and the need for it would vanish. The road out is the Road to Truth.” — The Commodore, May 17, 1971
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“The thirteen senators are alive and well today. Having escaped the effects of the Big Bang — they have resurfaced and disappeared many times throughout this universe’s almost endless history — affecting civilizations to a greater or lesser degree. So me seeing Thoth was correct — one of the senators. The bird-like deity. That is why I am allowed to understand this. Did I receive any help, or it is only my thetan who was the complete cause?”
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2001: Entertainment Tonight aired an interview with Scientology celebrities Jenna Elfman and Kirstie Allie. “Kirstie said ‘nothing great on this planet goes unattacked.’ Kirstie says about her marriage counselor role on Dharma & Greg: ‘No. I’m a flake. I don’t like marriage counselors, so it’s fun to play these. I’m not a big shrink advocate or counselor advocate, so I like playing them when they’re idiots.’ ‘You know what, here’s the thing. People can attack my religion if they want, they are showing that they are not very bright. Because if they actually investigated it, and read one of the books, they would see that it’s very beautiful.'”
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“Sherbet, if you saw ‘Heavenly Creatures’ — the best film Peter Jackson ever did — you would understand the similarities between the folie à deux world the girls live in and that of Scientologists. Plus it’s got clay modeling as well as Kate Winslet and ‘Rose’ from ‘Two and a Half Men’.”
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker
Criminal prosecutions:
— Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Sentenced to 30 years to life on Sep 7, 2023. Appeal now fully briefed, waiting for 2nd Appellate District court to set a hearing date. Masterson has also submitted a habeas corpus petition.
— ‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Pleaded guilty on Nov 10 to a 17-year prison sentence (eligible for parole in two to three more years). Awaiting transfer to state prison.
— Aaron Matthes charged for SA of child under 12 years old: OT Scientologist facing multiple mandatory life sentences. Next pretrial court hearing set for March 9.
Civil litigation:
— Leah Remini v. Scientology, alleging ‘Fair Game’ harassment and defamation: Some defamation claims were removed by Judge Hammock. Judge Hammock’s ruling is on appeal, which is now fully briefed. Awaiting the setting of an oral arguments hearing.
— Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
— Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ 15 days of arbitration completed, Val waiting for further word from the IJC.
— Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson. Judge Upindra Kalra’s ruling denying Scientology’s motion to strike is on appeal. Appeal fully briefed. Motion to replace Jane Does’ AI-tainted brief denied by court. Oral arguments hearing on March 3.
— Jane Doe 1 v. Scientology, David Miscavige, and Gavin Potter: Case unsealed and second amended complaint filed. Scientology moves for religious arbitration. Trial has been set for January 10, 2028.
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Other links: The prosecution of Danny Masterson. Leah Remini’s Fair Game Podcast. Leah Remini’s A&E Series. Scientology’s Celebrities, from A to Z. Bryan Seymour’s suppressed series, Scientology Black Ops: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?
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THE WHOLE TRACK
[ONE year ago] Hear skateboard star Aaron Kyro’s victory speech as he wins Scientology’s ‘Birthday Game’
[TWO years ago] If Scientology’s a sinking ship, why are some still throwing so much money at it?
[THREE years ago] After final rebuttal from prosecution this morning, the jury gets the case
[FOUR years ago] Attorney to CA Supremes: Here’s how you can make history in Danny Masterson’s rape case
[FIVE years ago] Scientology hits on the perfect theme for its Chicago fundraising: Blues Brothers!
[SIX years ago] Leaked audio of Scientology ship commander giving marching orders during the pandemic
[SEVEN years ago] Once again, Scientology celebrates a Nation of Islam bigot tonight in Los Angeles
[EIGHT years ago] Living with Scientology ‘disconnection’: ‘It’s important to never give up hope’
[NINE years ago] San Diego on Saturday: Psych-busting and Scientology hip hop!
[TEN years ago] Judge Doyle: I have Scientologists in the family, but I can be impartial in forced-abortion case
[ELEVEN years ago] ‘The Unbreakable Miss Lovely’ goes on the road — and so does Paulette Cooper!
[TWELVE years ago] L. Ron Hubbard describes infiltrating a veterans’ hospital in a lecture only for Scientologists
[THIRTEEN years ago] And Now For Something Completely Different: Scientology Stand Up!
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Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Joe Reaiche (1958-2024) did not see his daughter Alanna Masterson in his final 6,999 days.
Mike Rinder (1955-2025) did not see his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in his final 7,589 days.
Tammy Synovec has not seen her daughter Julia in 3,631 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 4,135 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 4,641 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 4,191 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 3,181 days.
Klaus Büchele has not seen his daughter Jasmin in 5,567 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 3,062 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 6,366 days.
Marc Headley has not seen his mother Trudy in 5,017 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 4,235 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 5,789 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 5,130 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 13,701 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 9,617 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 5,784 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 5,370 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 5,629 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 4,377 days.
Marie Poulin has not seen her mother June in 3,946 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 2,257 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 3,432 days.
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 5,114 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 5,451 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 10,304 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 5,420 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 3,782 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 4,196 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 4,581 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 4,465 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 4,029 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 4,541 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 4,801 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 15,905 days.
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Posted by Tony Ortega on May 17, 2026 at 07:00
E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter.
Our book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.
The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2024 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2024), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)
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Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast
