TODAY AT SUBSTACK: If you’ve signed up for free emails at Substack, you will receive today’s feature story at your inbox: As if Scientologists didn’t have enough pressure year-round to give to leader David Miscavige’s numerous initiatives, as the end of the calendar year nears Scientology always reminds them that their donations are tax-deductible, so why not give even more! [What is this Substack thing, anyway?]
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Technology Cocktail
“In the field of medicine some instructors declare that multiple sclerosis is the decay of nerve fibers, and that it is incurable, and that people who contract the ‘disease’ die in a relatively short period of time. It must be answered in just this way on the examination paper, or the student will find himself with less than a passing grade. This is not instruction—this is obstruction. In the first place, no one in medical school knows anything about multiple sclerosis, and in the second place it is curable, and in the third place it is not fatal. A good instructor would expect his students to question such a statement, and to find for themselves what can be done about multiple sclerosis.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1951
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“Down in Arizona they put an H-bomb nine feet below the ground and blew it up. Why? To find out if it’d lift dust? Well, it certainly did!….In 1947 it was very easy to run an engram. Even in early 1950 it was still fairly easy to run an engram, but it was a little harder. By the end of ’50 it was getting difficult to run engrams. In 1951 we had to beef up our processes like mad in order to run an engram cleanly. By 1952 we were beginning to run into nothing but whole track. 1953, we just had to look for other processes than engram running. And we had to look hard, and we looked into exteriorization. In ’54, in ’55 and in ’56 we have actually been researching further and further, into more and more powerful techniques. Why?….People haven’t changed, have they? Not at all. We even see a difference of techniques which, run two or three years ago, don’t work very well today. This fascinating panorama has just unfolded before my view as a distinct possibility. And it may or may not be true, but it is certainly a distinct possibility, and there is a coordination here between the amount of radiation in the atmosphere and the difficulty of auditing a preclear.” — L. Ron Hubbard, November 8, 1956
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“BEEF: Not all the meat on a haunch of beef can be used for steak. If you want steak you have to have two or three haunches and plan what to do with the rest. Roundsteak has to be floured and pounded, peppered and salted before frying. If not pounded it will be tough.” — The Commodore, November 8, 1969
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“If a person comes to the freezone offering you to become a super OT that can now bend spoons with the mind and win the one million Amazing Randi Challenge for that, then you know for sure that that ‘tech’ is most probably Ray Mithoff’s reverse Scientology and black Scientology. If on the contrary, a person comes and offers you tech that is making it possible to achieve the abilities for OTs as described in the Philadelphia Doctorate Course Lectures of the Early 50’s, then you know that it is valid Tech based on the Scientology fundamentals. The right thing to do is to be trained on the technology so as to undo any black Scientology that the dark side wants to impose on us or the society.”
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2001: Popular web site somethingawful.com was the recipient of a complaint from Scientology for an article they ran comparing Scientology to the Taliban. “A guy known mysteriously as ‘GST’ e-mailed me about my article which compared the Taliban to Scientology. He wanted me to take it down because it was hateful and he whined about the fact that Scientology was helping the victims of the WTC attack put their lives back together – with ‘E Meters’ of course. Today Lowtax notified me that The Church of Scientology was initiating some sassy legal action against us. They had contacted our web host CAIS and essentially threatened to sue them for over a hundred thousand dollars unless we removed a copyrighted photo of L. Ron Hubbard from Something Awful. The photo in question was of L. Ronnykins in some stupid captain’s hat looking wistfully out at the piles of money he’s raped out of people’s bank accounts or something. We took the photograph down and replaced it with a rendering of L. Ron Hubbard. It turns out that we were wrong. By unsheathing their mighty legal sword the not-at-all insane Church of Scientology has proven to us that they are in fact a benevolent religion. We’ve also decided to begin a campaign to show our support for the Church of Scientology, which really is looking out for the good of all mankind. I encourage all readers of Something Awful to try their hand at creating an exciting and uplifting work of art based on Scientology.”
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“Monsanto made everybody fat, TV made everybody stupid, and the Internet made everybody crazy.”
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker
Criminal prosecutions:
— Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Sentenced to 30 years to life on Sep 7, 2023. Appeal heard and submitted, waiting for ruling. Masterson has also submitted a habeas corpus petition.
— ‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Pleaded guilty on Nov 10 to a 17-year prison sentence. Now serving time in state prison.
— Aaron Matthes charged for SA of child under 12 years old: OT Scientologist facing multiple mandatory life sentences. Next pretrial court hearing set for June 19.
Civil litigation:
— Leah Remini v. Scientology, alleging ‘Fair Game’ harassment and defamation: Some defamation claims were removed by Judge Hammock. Scientology’s attempt to gut the case failed, and appeals court upheld. Back to trial court in December.
— Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
— Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ 17 days of arbitration completed, Val waiting for further word from the IJC.
— Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson. Judge Upindra Kalra’s ruling denying Scientology’s motion to strike upheld on appeal. Case returning to Kalra’s court.
— Jane Doe 1 v. Scientology, David Miscavige, and Gavin Potter: Case unsealed and second amended complaint filed. Scientology moves for religious arbitration. Trial has been set for January 10, 2028. Hearing on arbitration motion set for March, 2027.
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Other links: The prosecution of Danny Masterson. Leah Remini’s Fair Game Podcast. Leah Remini’s A&E Series. Scientology’s Celebrities, from A to Z. Bryan Seymour’s suppressed series, Scientology Black Ops: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?
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THE WHOLE TRACK
[ONE year ago] Scientology piles on with amicus brief to punish Danny Masterson victims in AI mess
[TWO years ago] Is Scientology having second thoughts about destroying families?
[THREE years ago] ow this is the kind of celebrity endorsement Scientology desperately needs
[FOUR years ago] Danny Masterson sis-in-law Chynna Phillips after watching trial: Seeing the light?
[FIVE years ago] Scientology’s magic and mysticism, as told by L. Ron Hubbard’s blogging son Arthur
[SIX years ago] John Travolta crashes the Scientology social media feed as we dip back in for a look
[SEVEN years ago] Columbus going Ideal! David Miscavige to open 2nd Scientology cathedral in a week
[EIGHT years ago] Scientology’s weirdly detailed shrine to L. Ron Hubbard in Florida even has ocean sounds
[NINE years ago] Scientology plan to shut road through its secretive ‘Int Base’ in California foiled again
[TEN years ago] It’s Election Day, but screw that — Chick Corea is finally superhuman thanks to Scientology!
[ELEVEN years ago] Up next for Scientology: Sending out Tom Cruise to put on a grand performance?
[TWELVE years ago] The Heinlein Letters: What L. Ron Hubbard’s close friends really thought of him
[THIRTEEN years ago] The Tom Cruise Smear Machine: Accusations From His Deposition You Haven’t Heard
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Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Joe Reaiche (1958-2024) did not see his daughter Alanna Masterson in his final 6,999 days.
Mike Rinder (1955-2025) did not see his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in his final 7,589 days.
Tammy Synovec has not seen her daughter Julia in 3,806 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 4,310 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 4,816 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 4,366 days.
Klaus Büchele has not seen his daughter Jasmin in 5,742 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 3,237 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 6,543 days.
Marc Headley has not seen his mother Trudy in 5,192 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 4,410 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 5,964 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 5,305 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 13,875 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 9,792 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 5,959 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 5,545 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 5,804 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 4,552 days.
Marie Poulin has not seen her mother June in 4,121 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 2,432 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 3,607 days.
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 5,289 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 5,626 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 10,479 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 5,595 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 3,957 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 4,756 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 4,600 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 4,215 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 4,716 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 4,976 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 16,080 days.
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Posted by Tony Ortega on November 8, 2026 at 07:00
E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter.
Our book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.
The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2025 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2024), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)
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Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast
