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Scientology turned ‘Dianetics’ into a 4-hour video, and the result is UTTER MADNESS

We want to thank ‘No Context,’ the YouTuber who stumbled on a 2009 Blu-Ray DVD put out by Scientology at his local pawn shop and decided to pick it up.

We had no idea that Scientology had spent oodles of money turning the turgid, mostly unreadable 1950 Dianetics, Scientology’s “Book One” and the thing that started it all, into a 4-hour-plus “film” with high production values and outrageously bad acting. And thank you, No Context, for doing such a thorough job describing it and pulling out some amazing scenes for us to watch in this 14-minute review of the DVD.

“I don’t know anything about Scientology, and I really don’t want to know anything about Scientology,” he says as he provides a wonderfully fresh perspective on this crazy production.

Here, let him take you through this 3-disc epic that Scientology leader David Miscavige must have thought was actually a good idea…



If you’ve read our cover-to-cover blogging of this book, you might not be so surprised, but No Context was a bit shocked to see how much Dianetics was about domestic violence, and specifically women and children and most of all pregnant women being terrorized and abused. Yeah, that’s Hubbard all over!

No Context is also struck by the quack medical claims being made in Dianetics. “I’m sure if a real medical doctor saw this, they’d shut them down right away.”

Oh, you might assume that, No Context, you sure might think so! But Scientology has been making quack medical claims since 1950, and the government doesn’t do a thing about it.

We really enjoyed No Context’s presentation, and we understood the sound of astonishment in his conclusion: “This isn’t something I would recommend, and I don’t even want to see it again. But I’m glad I watched it because I loved how insane this was. Because there’s so many kids getting punched, so many women getting strangled, so many pregnant women bashing their baby skulls, and the crazy people they interview — it all makes it worthwhile because it’s just so freaking nuts.”

Hey, that’s Scientology in a nutshell all right.


Bonus items from our tipsters

Now here’s someone having a laugh…




Source Code

“I feel I should apologize for coming a little bit late to this lecture: three, four, five minutes. But you should realize that this particular planet has a great many lures. There are all kinds of things. There’s drink, you know, there’s beautiful women. There are all of these various things and they lure you away and distract your attention from what you should be doing. And recently, I’d had a Lincoln for ages — since about ’54 — and I sold it and got a fantastic price for it. And then I traded an old Humber we had out here for it, you see, and I got me a Jaguar and — a 60, 61 Jag — and came out all straight on this. And I regret to have to report to you that the Jaguar is leading me astray. I went out to take a fifteen-minute run to get some fresh air and came back three hours later. So you see, sometimes it’s drink, sometimes it’s women. In this particular case it’s a Jaguar. You’ll pardon me weaknesses. Blame it on the planet.” — L. Ron Hubbard, July 12, 1962


Overheard in the FreeZone

“I believe that DM cannot be alone doing this. We have already some indications that at least the US government is endorsing Scientology through the IRS agreement and more. There are no major attacks on Scientology, Miscavige, no matter what the whistle blowers have said. It is evident that the Global Enslavers are set to make their version of Scientology the next-religion-to-be. And indeed, we see Christianity going down and Muslims of course who are way backwards and all other old religions failing. But Scientology is on the news almost daily and it is a modern, a new religion. So, they want it. But they want it their way. Not with the policy and tech LRH left behind. But as a money making and mind washing machine. ”


Random Howdy

“The first time I heard about the ‘overt motivator sequence’ was when the Carmen Rainer outrage occurred and vaLLarrr was defending Jan Eastgate for telling a 10-year-old girl it was her fault that her stepfather molested her. I asked vaLLarrr, ‘So it was her karma?’ and vaLLarrr said it was something different than karma. The resident ex-Scientologist explained the overt motivator sequence to me and my head exploded.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Arraignment scheduled for September 18.
Jay Spina, Medicare fraud: Sentencing is set for August 27 in White Plains, NY
Hanan and Rizza Islam and other family members, Medi-Cal fraud: Next pretrial conference set for January 12 in Los Angeles

Civil litigation:
Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Oral arguments set for August 30 at the Eleventh Circuit
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Hearing on motion for reconsideration set for August 11
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: Sept 4 (CSI/RTC demurrer against Riales, Masterson demurrer), Oct 7-19 (motions to compel arbitration)
Jane Doe v. Scientology (in Miami): Jane Doe dismissed the lawsuit on May 15 after the Clearwater Police dropped their criminal investigation of her allegations.
Matt and Kathy Feschbach bankruptcy appeal: Oral arguments were heard on March 11 in Jacksonville
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Amended complaint filed, trial set for Nov 9, 2021


Scientology’s celebrities, ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and more!

[Catherine Bell, Chick Corea, and Nancy Cartwright]

We’ve been building landing pages about David Miscavige’s favorite playthings, including celebrities and ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and we’re hoping you’ll join in and help us gather as much information as we can about them. Head on over and help us with links and photos and comments.

Scientology’s celebrities, from A to Z! Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Scientology’s ‘Ideal Orgs,’ from one end of the planet to the other! Help us build up pages about each these worldwide locations!

Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society!

Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in our weekly series. How many have you read?



[ONE year ago] Scientology front group claims it fed an anti-psychiatry story to the L.A. Times
[TWO years ago] David Miscavige’s dark vision for Scientology: ‘What did you think you were joining?’
[THREE years ago] Here’s how you can help make a difference in lives touched by Scientology
[FOUR years ago] Jon Atack: Scientology’s snitch culture, and how ex-members must relearn the notion of privacy
[FIVE years ago] Jon Atack: Scientology’s snitch culture, and how ex-members must relearn the notion of privacy
[SIX years ago] Scientology accused of financial sleight of hand to avoid paying in human slavery lawsuit
[SEVEN years ago] Hey, Tom Cruise, Why Weren’t You the One to Raise a Stink When This Woman Went Missing?
[EIGHT years ago] Scientology Auditing Kids: Proof From Church’s Own School Website
[NINE years ago] Scientology Quick Hits: Janet Reitman Is Not Afraid, and Other News


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 1,996 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 2,500 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 2,020 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 1,040 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 931 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,238 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,106 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 2,880 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 3,684 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 3,000 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 11,566 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 7,485 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 3,653 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,234 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 3,495 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 2,533 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,246 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 1,771 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 1,301 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 5,861 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 3,001 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,321 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,176 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 3,296 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 1,651 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 5,954 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 2,060 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 2,462 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,334 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 1,917 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 2,412 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 2,666 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 13,775 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on July 12, 2020 at 06:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2019 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2019), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 14 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


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