TODAY AT SUBSTACK: If you’ve signed up for free emails at Substack, you will receive today’s feature story at your inbox: Scientology’s longtime ‘president’ Heber Jentzsch died on Oct 30 at 89. We heard the news in January, but we also heard that church leader David Miscavige had taken the unusual step of writing some kind of tribute to Heber. We were unable to get a copy of it. Until now. [What is this Substack thing, anyway?]
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Technology Cocktail
“It has often been noted (and reported routinely in the papers) that criminals ‘treated’ by psychologists and psychiatrists go out and commit crimes. It could be suspected that these ‘practitioners’ used Pain Drug Hypnosis and other means (under the guise of treatment) to induce the criminal to go out and commit more crimes.
And possibly they do. But I have just made a discovery that sheds some light on this scene. Morality and good conduct are sensible. That is the theme of ‘The Way To Happiness.’ It follows (and can be proven) that immorality and bad conduct are stupid.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1982
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“I found out that it makes it tremendously easier to run the bank and that on a very few PCs you will be unable to run the bank unless you get an early engramic incident out of the road. And I also found out that if you can run the overt engram that relates to these GPMs just as an engram, that a fantastic amount of charge will come off the implants themselves, naturally, and therefore they run like-very much like hot butter. I had a little bulletin for you. Found a datum here you might be interested in. That particular outfit was down toward the center of this particular galaxy and was founded at 52 trillion, 863 billion, 10 million, 654 thousand, 79 years (52,863,010,654,079), and I can’t give you a much closer than that, because when place get founded is, more or less becomes part of their lies. But it was founded at that time, and it was destroyed on the date 38 trillion, 932 billion, 690 million, 862 thousand, 933 years ago (38,932,690,862,933), by the 79th wing of the 43rd battle squadron of the galactic fleet. It was not the, part of the galaxy. It was a wildcat activity sitting there. They used to drag Magellanic Clouds out of the center hub of the galaxy, let them follow the lines of force and just let them come over a system. Then when they got around to it, they’d send planes in with speakers, and so forth, and give the place the business. But the place very often was totally caved in for thousands of years by these Magellanic radioactive clouds which would just engulf the particular system. You got the idea? I just give you that in brief, just as a matter of interest, because these dates we’re getting are accurate. I have now compared them up the track and squared them around. These are the dates.” — L. Ron Hubbard, May 16, 1963
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“Logic (The Data Series) is written up to Data – 4 now. Occurred to me what if CIA’s multi-billion facts in computers were properly analyzed, WOW, what a different answer they’d get! I realized that as it is ‘analyzed’ they can only decide to go to war with everybody! And do. I can see a conference now at ‘high level.’ ‘What’s the situation on Hamfatia?’ ‘Threatening.’ ‘What’s the situation on Sphagettiville?’ ‘Threatening.’ ‘What’s the situation on the world?’ ‘Threatening.’ ‘Then it’s all threatening?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Good hit the war button!’ They didn’t notice the ‘Threatening’ button had gotten leaned on by the cleaning lady’s mop the night before. And that’s the way the world went. Point is, if one can’t analyze data he winds up hating everybody — as it’s just one big generality. We’re into real 3rd dynamic tech!” — The Commodore, May 16, 1970
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“Twelve hours processing for a PC cured him from a hardship known in the fucking western medicine by ‘borderline disorder personality,’ something that the old bridge would not achieve. The purpose of Scientology is to make the able more able, the new area of Scientology can make any unable able. Well done LRH, well done great master.”
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2000: Battlefield Earth was released in the U.S. this week. From Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times: “‘Battlefield Earth’ is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It’s not merely bad; it’s unpleasant in a hostile way. The visuals are grubby and drab. The characters are unkempt and have rotten teeth. Breathing tubes hang from their noses like ropes of snot. The soundtrack sounds like the boom mike is being slammed against the inside of a 55-gallon drum. This movie is awful in so many different ways. Even the opening titles are cheesy. ‘Battlefield Earth’ was written in 1980 by L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology. The film contains no evidence of Scientology or any other system of thought; it is shapeless and senseless, without a compelling plot or characters we care for in the slightest. The director, Roger Christian, has learned from better films that directors sometimes tilt their cameras, but he has not learned why. I watched it in mounting gloom, realizing I was witnessing something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies. There is a moment here when the Psychlos’ entire planet (home office and all) is blown to smithereens, without the slightest impact on any member of the audience (or, for that matter, the cast). If the film had been destroyed in a similar cataclysm, there might have been a standing ovation.”
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“I’m on drugs.”
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker
Criminal prosecutions:
— Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Sentenced to 30 years to life on Sep 7, 2023. Appeal now fully briefed, waiting for 2nd Appellate District court to set a hearing date. Masterson has also submitted a habeas corpus petition.
— ‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Pleaded guilty on Nov 10 to a 17-year prison sentence (eligible for parole in two to three more years). Awaiting transfer to state prison.
— Aaron Matthes charged for SA of child under 12 years old: OT Scientologist facing multiple mandatory life sentences. Next pretrial court hearing set for March 9.
Civil litigation:
— Leah Remini v. Scientology, alleging ‘Fair Game’ harassment and defamation: Some defamation claims were removed by Judge Hammock. Judge Hammock’s ruling is on appeal, which is now fully briefed. Awaiting the setting of an oral arguments hearing.
— Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
— Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ 15 days of arbitration completed, Val waiting for further word from the IJC.
— Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson. Judge Upindra Kalra’s ruling denying Scientology’s motion to strike is on appeal. Appeal fully briefed. Motion to replace Jane Does’ AI-tainted brief denied by court. Oral arguments hearing on March 3.
— Jane Doe 1 v. Scientology, David Miscavige, and Gavin Potter: Case unsealed and second amended complaint filed. Scientology moves for religious arbitration. Trial has been set for January 10, 2028.
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Other links: The prosecution of Danny Masterson. Leah Remini’s Fair Game Podcast. Leah Remini’s A&E Series. Scientology’s Celebrities, from A to Z. Bryan Seymour’s suppressed series, Scientology Black Ops: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?
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THE WHOLE TRACK
[ONE year ago] Downfall of Scientology’s plan: Temporary setback, or permanent victory?
[TWO years ago] Appeals court denies Jane Doe 1 petition, David Miscavige’s sneaky trick upheld
[THREE years ago] Closing arguments today at the Danny Masterson retrial: We’re ready for fireworks
[FOUR years ago] A Scientology celebrity emailed us the other day. And it started an exchange.
[FIVE years ago] Inside a PR mutiny: How Scientology’s war on Prozac backfired in spectacular fashion
[SIX years ago] He was the drummer in a rock ‘n’ roll band: Eddie Stratton’s Scientology story
[SEVEN years ago] Beyond the quarantine: Signs that Scientology is getting involved in anti-vaxx panic
[EIGHT years ago] Scientology’s smear campaign against Mike Rinder takes a more disturbing turn than usual
[NINE years ago] As Leah Remini’s next season approaches, Scientology posts more videos saying she’s rude
[TEN years ago] Did L. Ron Hubbard believe his own rap? Here’s what he admitted about Scientology in 1952
[ELEVEN years ago] Jon Atack: When the militant Scientologist falters, you find a cowering 12-year-old inside
[TWELVE years ago] Hiding L. Ron Hubbard’s control of Scientology in the 1980s
[THIRTEEN years ago] Scientology Now Has Until July 2 to Turn Over Evidence in Forced-Abortion Lawsuit
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Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Joe Reaiche (1958-2024) did not see his daughter Alanna Masterson in his final 6,999 days.
Mike Rinder (1955-2025) did not see his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in his final 7,589 days.
Tammy Synovec has not seen her daughter Julia in 3,630 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 4,134 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 4,640 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 4,190 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 3,180 days.
Klaus Büchele has not seen his daughter Jasmin in 5,566 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 3,061 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 6,365 days.
Marc Headley has not seen his mother Trudy in 5,016 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 4,234 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 5,788 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 5,129 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 13,700 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 9,616 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 5,783 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 5,369 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 5,628 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 4,376 days.
Marie Poulin has not seen her mother June in 3,945 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 2,256 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 3,431 days.
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 5,113 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 5,450 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 10,303 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 5,419 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 3,781 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 4,195 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 4,580 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 4,464 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 4,028 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 4,540 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 4,800 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 15,904 days.
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Posted by Tony Ortega on May 16, 2026 at 07:00
E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter.
Our book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.
The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2024 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2024), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)
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Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast
