TODAY AT SUBSTACK: If you’ve signed up for free emails at Substack, you will receive today’s feature story at your inbox: Dianetics, which turns 76 today, is a vile book. In it, L. Ron Hubbard imagines that most of our problems are the result of uncaring mothers having rough sex. This year, we’re saluting Scientology’s turgid bible with a Geoff Levin song! ALSO: Karin Spaink says goodbye [What is this Substack thing, anyway?]
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Technology Cocktail
“A person can be helped by Scientology only when he has clean hands with it. One cannot be helped by it when he has overts against it, its principal names or organizations. And on an organizational strata, no org can prosper when its staff has overts. Recent investigation has shown that below EVERY outness in an org or down stat there lay heavy withholds and overts. The many should not be penalized by the criminal few. By following these policies, ethics investigations will be speeded, statistics raised and a much cleaner, happier and more productive environment will be achieved. Only the guilty will ever protest such reports and that, too, is indicator for urgent action.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1981
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“The US in a Masterpiece has officially stated it has no responsibility for its money. They can say that twice. The scoop is that genius Nixon’s Federal Reserve Board lowered bank rates in the US, causing US investment money to flee to Europe. Nazi bankers caught the ball so deftly tossed to them by their US agents and began a smash attack on the dollar. Exchange is still 3.8 francs to a dollar in Switzerland. It should be 4.3. Costing us our shirts. We don’t dare deposit and lose. Somebody in the US Federal Reserve is working very hard for his Iron Cross First Class.” — L. Ron Hubbard, May 9, 1971
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“ALL CREW: Please submit to me knowledge reports on any injustices that you may know about. Injustices must be righted. Thank you.” — Lt. Cmdr. Diana Hubbard, May 9, 1969
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“I realize now what I am exhibiting with all my wins; unbelievable, incredible, so many wins in such a short time… are all happening for a specific reason. That reason is, I am exhibiting a complete and accurate alignment of my basic purpose. My basic purpose on the whole track is to communicate Ron’s discoveries. To explain what the tech does for a spirit in a way that is easy for anyone to understand.”
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2000: Estimates of the revenue generated by Battlefield Earth were reported by Reuters this week. “Reigning champ ‘Gladiator’ vanquished John Travolta and his sci-fi challenger ‘Battlefield Earth’ at the weekend box office, as the Second World War submarine thriller ‘U-571’ hung on for third place. ‘Gladiator’ pulled in about $24.3 million for the Friday-to-Sunday period, vs. $12.3 million for ‘Battlefield Earth,’ according to studio estimates issued Sunday. ‘Battlefield Earth’ collected such accolades as ‘profoundly dreadful’ (from the Wall Street Journal) and ‘derivative sci-fi drivel’ (Entertainment Weekly) on its way to movie theaters. The film’s distributor, Warner Bros., termed the opening number ‘respectable.’ The movie cost between $65 million and $70 million to make. WB distribution president Dan Fellman said the authorship issue ‘never really came into play’ once the film opened. ‘I didn’t find that to be a problem,’ he added.”
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“David Miscavige is a South Philly street punk: rude, lewd, and crude. He wants to be Vito Genovese but he’s John Gotti instead. All flash and bravado with no real depth or vision.”
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker
Criminal prosecutions:
— Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Sentenced to 30 years to life on Sep 7, 2023. Appeal now fully briefed, waiting for 2nd Appellate District court to set a hearing date. Masterson has also submitted a habeas corpus petition.
— ‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Pleaded guilty on Nov 10 to a 17-year prison sentence (eligible for parole in two to three more years). Awaiting transfer to state prison.
— Aaron Matthes charged for SA of child under 12 years old: OT Scientologist facing multiple mandatory life sentences. Next pretrial court hearing set for March 9.
Civil litigation:
— Leah Remini v. Scientology, alleging ‘Fair Game’ harassment and defamation: Some defamation claims were removed by Judge Hammock. Judge Hammock’s ruling is on appeal, which is now fully briefed. Awaiting the setting of an oral arguments hearing.
— Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
— Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ 15 days of arbitration completed, Val waiting for further word from the IJC.
— Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson. Judge Upindra Kalra’s ruling denying Scientology’s motion to strike is on appeal. Appeal fully briefed. Motion to replace Jane Does’ AI-tainted brief denied by court. Oral arguments hearing on March 3.
— Jane Doe 1 v. Scientology, David Miscavige, and Gavin Potter: Case unsealed and second amended complaint filed. Scientology moves for religious arbitration. Trial has been set for January 10, 2028.
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Other links: The prosecution of Danny Masterson. Leah Remini’s Fair Game Podcast. Leah Remini’s A&E Series. Scientology’s Celebrities, from A to Z. Bryan Seymour’s suppressed series, Scientology Black Ops: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?
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THE WHOLE TRACK
[ONE year ago] Dianetics at 75: Scientology’s bible, endorsing child molestation since 1950
[TWO years ago] ‘Dianetics’ is 74: Isn’t it time L. Ron Hubbard’s hoax got pulled from libraries?
[THREE years ago] Former London staffer tells his story: ‘Abuse is fundamental to Scientology’s very nature’
[FOUR years ago] How Scientology’s ardent followers prove their loyalty with blind (or near-sighted) obedience
[FIVE years ago] The Scientologist and the superstar hacker: A stock market fable for our times
[SIX years ago] Dianetics at 70: Scientology’s bible, endorsing child molestation since May 9, 1950
[SEVEN years ago] Death in the Timor Sea: The darkest war secret of Scientology’s founder, L. Ron Hubbard
[EIGHT years ago] Early witness Don Rogers on Hubbard and ‘prior lives’: ‘Nothing but a parlor hypnosis trick’
[NINE years ago] Danny Masterson hires Michael Jackson criminal defense attorney Tom Mesereau in rape probe
[TEN years ago] 66 years ago, L. Ron Hubbard transubstantiated from pulp writer to god among men
[ELEVEN years ago] Scientology answers Garcia motion: We are definitely a bona fide worldwide religion!
[TWELVE years ago] Ryan Hamilton adds Colorado in new lawsuits against Scientology’s rehab network
[THIRTEEN years ago] CA SUPREME COURT ASKS FOR LAURA D.’S RESPONSE TO SCIENTOLOGY PETITION
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Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Joe Reaiche (1958-2024) did not see his daughter Alanna Masterson in his final 6,999 days.
Mike Rinder (1955-2025) did not see his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in his final 7,589 days.
Tammy Synovec has not seen her daughter Julia in 3,623 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 4,127 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 4,633 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 4,183 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 3,173 days.
Klaus Büchele has not seen his daughter Jasmin in 5,559 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 3,054 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 6,358 days.
Marc Headley has not seen his mother Trudy in 5,009 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 4,227 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 5,781 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 5,122 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 13,693 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 9,609 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 5,776 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 5,362 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 5,621 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 4,369 days.
Marie Poulin has not seen her mother June in 3,938 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 2,249 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 3,424 days.
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 5,106 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 5,443 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 10,296 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 5,412 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 3,774 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 4,188 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 4,573 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 4,457 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 4,021 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 4,533 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 4,793 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 15,897 days.
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Posted by Tony Ortega on May 9, 2026 at 07:00
E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter.
Our book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.
The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2024 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2024), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)
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Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast
