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Scientology logic: Blame the media for fake virus news while promising superhuman powers

[Scientology’s Liv Watson and AOLA, where you can spurn the media and go OT!]

The Church of Scientology knows its audience. It is quite aware that Scientologists tend to be conspiracy-minded individuals who mistrust the media and authority figures such as medical professionals. Like so many others, Scientologists have grave doubts about what health officials are telling us about the coronavirus pandemic. So we got a kick out of this latest come-on that one of our tipsters forwarded to us.

It cleverly quotes L. Ron Hubbard attacking “Merchants of Chaos” — what he called journalists and other influential figures — as a response to what’s going on today. Hubbard was decrying “fake news” decades before that phrase became popular, but we just adore the way this letter demonizes reporters as a way to cast doubts on the pandemic, and while selling Scientology’s “Operating Thetan” auditing levels.

It’s in these expensive “OT” levels that a Scientologist is finally supposed to gain the superhuman abilities that Scientology promises.

Talk about fake news. But hey, we admire the effort here. Liv writes a fun letter. It’s the perfect time to drop tens of thousands of dollars on your superhero transformation!

Hi [redacted],


I hope you’re staying productive and healthy.

Did you know that one of the prerequisites to begin the OT levels is to complete the full Basics books lineup? Now is the perfect time to make some serious headway on your journey to OT!

If you’re not already on one, start an extension course and get in as many lessons as you’re able to. There is so much data in the Basics books that is incredibly stabilizing and will put you at cause over the current situation. Here is an example:

“These disturbing elements are the Merchants of Chaos. They deal in confusion and upset. …If chaos were to lessen, so would their incomes. The politician, the reporter, the medico, the drug manufacturer, the militarist and arms manufacturer, the police and the undertaker, to name the leaders of the list, fatten only upon ‘the dangerous environment’

…It is to their interest to make the environment seem as threatening as possible for only then can they profit. Their incomes, force and power rise in direct ratio to the amount of threat they can inject into the surroundings of the people. With that threat they can extort revenue, appropriations, heightened circulations and recompense without question. These are the merchants of chaos. If they did not generate it and buy and sell it, they would, they suppose, be poor.

…Look over a newspaper. Is there anything good on the front page? Rather there is murder and sudden death, disagreement and catastrophe. And even that, bad as it is, is sensationalized to make it seem worse. This is the coldblooded manufacture of ‘a dangerous environment.’ People do not need this news and if they did they need the facts, not the upset. But if you hit a person hard enough he can be made to give up money. That’s the basic formula of extortion.”

— L. Ron Hubbard

New Slant on Life, “True Story of Scientology,” page 259-260

Let me know if you start a course. Flourish and prosper!

Liv Watson
Director of Promo & Marketing
AOLA OT Committee, Los Angeles


Meanwhile, Scientology is so happy with its celeb musicians and their new slick music video (“Spread a Smile”), it has asked church members to record their own Facebook and Tick Tock videos showing them dancing to the song. You can see plenty of examples, such as here, here, here, here, and here.


And fortunately for us, Scientology’s London mascot Charlie Wakley also took them up on the challenge. God help us.


When they aren’t dancing, Wakley and his crew describe themselves as Tools for the Workplace. That sounds about right.




Mark Bunker and the Scientologists have a social distancing issue

Another really good story from Tracey McManus at the Tampa Bay Times yesterday describing the city of Clearwater’s dilemma now that Mark Bunker has won a seat on the city council.

Bunker would like to be appointed an ex-officio position on the Downtown Development Board which is mostly stocked with Scientologists. But a court injunction left over from Bunker’s days in the Lisa McPherson Trust says he and Scientology members must stay 10 feet away from each other.

Of course, the logical thing would be to rescind the court order, which was put in place to prevent clashes at protests happening 20 years ago. But we have a feeling the church will vigorously fight any effort to overturn it. Scientology loves to cause this kind of chaos, and we expect that they’ll make it as difficult as possible for Bunker to be a part of the board.


Your proprietor on the airwaves

Had another fun time talking with Jim Paris on his radio show Sunday night.




Source Code

“In the Western world there’s not even a Tradition of philosophy. There’s no Tradition of — what equivalent Western word is there for a guru? There isn’t, and yet an Indian wouldn’t know how to go through his day without knowing this word, guru, somehow or another. You get the idea, see? We did a survey in Washington, DC about 1955 which was a very intriguing survey. Because I wanted to know, I thought these birds would realize that the psychiatrists were — let’s put it in a more elegant sense than it deserves — that the psychiatrists were cutting into their racket. So we got ahold of all the ministers in Washington, DC on the idea that they might have some sensibility with regard to all this and asked them if they thought this was the case. No, No. Any time one of their congregation showed the least signs of becoming nervous, they instantly rushed him to the electric shock machine. Seventeen hundred and eight ministers out of seventeen hundred and ten were wildly in favor of the mental hospital and the electric shock machine as soon as possible. Why, the poor dopes! They didn’t realize that that religious ecstasy was the only thing which kept them whizzing. If anybody had suddenly stood up in their congregation and said, ‘I embrace the Lord,’ or something like that, they would have said, ‘Dr. Sparks, would you please send a wagon over right away, quick.’ See? In other words, the whole field of religion had been eaten up in this particular direction which I thought was rather amazing.” — L. Ron Hubbard, April 14, 1964


Overheard in the FreeZone

“Covid came into being about the time Ron was getting into the OT 9 material and the static anti-static case — i.e. existence non-existence sequence. We are witnessing a planetary response and manifestations of confusions blowing off; massive games conditions being as-ised and converted to no-games condition on a planet-wide scale; just from a small handful of us auditing on it. The solution is for us to continue to audit OT 9; which means a major shift and bettered conditions after this all settles.”


Random Howdy

“Brand new account created just for this idiotic hit and run. These people couldn’t troll if their lives depended on it.”


Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker

Criminal prosecutions:
Jay Spina: Sentencing was set for April 3 in White Plains
Hanan and Rizza Islam and other family members: Trial set for April 14 in Los Angeles

Civil litigation:
Luis and Rocio Garcia v. Scientology: Waiting for an appellate decision from the Eleventh Circuit
Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ Hearing on motion for reconsideration set for June 17
Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson: April 22 (plaintiff attorneys pro hac vice), May 1 (Masterson new demurrer due), June 15 (CSI/RTC demurrer against Riales), July 24 (motions to compel arbitration)
Jane Doe v. Scientology (in Miami): Jane Doe’s attorneys have asked for discovery, depositions (Warren McShane, Lynn Farny), April 20 hearing set (motion to compel arbitration)
Matt and Kathy Feschbach bankruptcy appeal: Oral arguments were heard on March 11 in Jacksonville
Brian Statler Sr v. City of Inglewood: Amended complaint filed.


Scientology’s celebrities, ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and more!

[The Big Three: Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Kirstie Alley]

We’ve been building landing pages about David Miscavige’s favorite playthings, including celebrities and ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and we’re hoping you’ll join in and help us gather as much information as we can about them. Head on over and help us with links and photos and comments.

Scientology’s celebrities, from A to Z! Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Scientology’s ‘Ideal Orgs,’ from one end of the planet to the other! Help us build up pages about each these worldwide locations!

Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society!

Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in our weekly series. How many have you read?



[ONE year ago] L. Ron Hubbard defines religion for you skeptical non-Xenu believers
[TWO years ago] Another Scientologist runs for office in Nevada — but her campaign says she’s not a member
[THREE years ago] Scientology invited local business owners to its Clearwater celeb party. Well, except one.
[FIVE years ago] Announcing a new video series — The stories of young Scientologists not told in ‘Going Clear’
[SIX years ago] Scientology litigation always has surprises: A new wrinkle from Narconon’s attorneys
[SEVEN years ago] Writers of the Future Live-Blogging! Black Tie Not Required


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 1,907 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 2,411 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 1,931 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 951 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 842 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 4,149 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 2,017 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 2,791 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 3,565 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 2,911 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 11,477 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 7,396 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 3,564 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 3,145 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 3,406 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 2,444 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 2,157 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 1,682 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 1,212 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 5,772 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 2,912 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 3,232 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 8,087 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 3,207 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 1,562 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 5,865 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 1,971 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 2,373 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 2,245 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 1,828 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 2,323 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 2,577 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 13,686 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on April 14, 2020 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2019 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2019), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, 14 years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


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