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Scientology made him suicidal, but that was only the beginning of his problems

We were approached recently by a man who wanted to describe what he’s been through in the Church of Scientology. We decided to let him tell you his story in his own words, and we’ve spoken to his attorney and examined his documentation to corroborate his tale. We think you’ll find that, once again, the Church of Scientology, which considers itself an expert on everything, completely breaks down when it is actually presented with a case of emotional distress.

My name is Anthony Reid and I was in the Church of Scientology for 43 years.

When I finally left the church I was suicidal and psychotic. It’s been going on now for over two years and I can’t make it stop.


I was in pretty good shape emotionally before I started with the church in 1975. I grew up in Windsor, Ontario. I got a college degree in medical laboratory technology, and I was working as a lab tech. I had a good job and a lot of friends.

My brother was on staff at the Scientology mission in Windsor, and he got me interested. I had always had a really hard time with public speaking, so after reading Dianetics I thought I could handle it with counseling, and I joined my brother on staff.

I started becoming introverted and reclusive after receiving high-level counseling at the church in Los Angeles in the mid-1990s. So in 1998 I tried to handle it at Scientology’s Mecca for Technical Perfection, the Flag Land Base in Clearwater, Florida.

It didn’t help. I went back to Flag in 2009, hoping to handle my problems once and for all. I was charged upwards of $750 an hour for counseling, receiving 200 hours of auditing at Flag, costing me $100,000.

Still, I hoped Flag could help. I went back again in December 2015, doing five different services (the Purification Rundown, the Survival Rundown, Super Power Rundowns, the Cause Resurgence Rundown, and the False Purpose Rundown), all completed by January 2017, costing me another $100,000. The result? I was worse than when I started.

Now I was not only reclusive, but suicidal.

I asked what further services might help me (without mentioning to my case supervisor that I was suicidal, because I knew it would keep me from going to events like LRH Birthday). He recommended an introductory course, the Student Hat, and I got started.

While I was doing it, a Sea Org member I knew asked me how I was doing. I admitted that I was feeling pretty crazy, so she recommended I see an alternative medicine doctor in St. Petersburg named Dr. Nelson who was treating her. He ended up giving me the same treatment the Sea Org worker had received: surgically implanted testosterone pellets in my backside. My testosterone levels came up, but it didn’t do anything to alleviate my psychological problems.

After finishing the Student Hat course, I wrote up a five page progress report, including my feelings of being suicidal. The Sea Org worker went over it, saw that I included a note about her referring me to Dr. Nelson, and she had me remove it. I felt strange redacting it, but I did what I was told.

In March 2017, I met at the Sandcastle with an ethics officer and a medical liaison officer. They informed me that I was no longer going to be allowed on Flag property.

I was told to do some low level counseling called “objectives” outside of Flag with another person, which I did for seven months with minimal results.

I begged several staff at the Church and I sent an 11-page letter via FedEx to the head of the International Church, David Miscavige, telling him I was suicidal and psychotic and to please let me back in for some professional help. But no one would help me. I was suffering and alone and afraid.

A couple of times I sent my Case Supervisor a note begging him to let me go in session at Flag for corrective counseling, but he said no.

Shortly after I sent the letter to Miscavige, three strangers from the church came to my house and said I had to go to a ranch an hour away for what’s called ‘change of environment’ handling. My landlady was there too.


I was driven to the ranch in Brooksville, Florida by a large man named Brook. All I knew about it was that it was owned by a Scientologist couple named Adam and Leeland, and they never asked me why I was there. They put me in a small guest house. I pulled weeds and did other odd jobs for five months. I was very lonely and extremely sad.

One of the three people who took me to the ranch was Kathy True, from the Office of Special Affairs. She told me to get a dog to help me, and she told me in a phone call to go to a hospital when I told her I was suicidal.

After a couple of months I asked Kathy if someone could come to the ranch to talk about my psychological problems, but she told me the head technical guy at Flag, the Senior Case Supervisor, wouldn`t allow that. I guess they didn`t want people to find out how messed up I was.

Towards the end of my stay at the ranch Kathy referred me to a clinic in Clearwater called the Choice Wellness Centre.

Kathy said not to tell the doctor, there, Brent Agin, that I had had counseling at Flag, so I withheld that from him. I did tell him that I was suicidal, but he didn’t call the authorities to have me put in a psych ward because he said he had told the church he wouldn’t do that to their parishioners. (Agin is also the assigned physician at Scientology’s Narconon Suncoast clinic in Clearwater.)

The doctor put me on an IV of Ketamine. The drug only increased my desire to take my own life. He wanted me to come back for three more treatments, but I didn’t go back.

A few days later Kathy invited me to a public park near the ranch with Brook and she offered me an unspecified cash refund, but I told her I didn’t want it because I wanted to go back to Flag for help.

Kathy said I wouldn’t be allowed back at Flag so I became distraught and I just put some of my belongings in my car and left the ranch with the intent of ending my life. I texted my sister-in-law, Judy, a Scientologist in Clearwater.

After five or six days of driving aimlessly on the freeway by myself I decided to drive the 2,300 miles to Los Angeles to again ask the head guy David Miscavige if he could help me.

I hand delivered two more letters to two different church locations in LA and waited two days for a call or an email from Miscavige but he never responded.

I showed one of my letters to an old LA friend, Al Ribisi. We met at a McDonald’s and he was kind enough to buy me lunch. I told him I was contemplating suicide and that I had driven to LA to drop off two letters to Miscavige.

He said that if I wanted to commit suicide it was up to me, and he thought after reading one of my letters that Miscavige probably wouldn’t let me back in for professional counseling.

So I drove back to Flag but was rebuffed again by Kathy True, so I just left and found some very caring and compassionate ex-Scientologists who were willing to help me. Without them I think I would have given up.

A couple of months later I sent a letter to Kathy asking if the Church could help me financially by giving me back $250,000, which is what I have spent over the 43 years I have been in Scientology.


Around Labor Day 2018, Kathy finally responded by phone and told me a person from the Church would meet me at any location of my choosing, but she refused to send me any paperwork about my refund request, or discuss what might be returned to me. She also asked me where I was, but I wouldn’t tell her.

I hired a couple of attorneys to help me who were also former Scientology church members. But when they wrote letters on my behalf, Scientology attorney Kendrick Moxon told them that representing me would be a conflict of interest.

They have still offered to help me, but I am not in a position to sue the church over a refund.

Eventually Kathy sent me paperwork, but not the amount of refund I was being offered. She sent an email telling me she wanted to have a meeting, but I couldn’t bring anyone else to it. I had serious reservations about meeting them alone.

Every day I have to resist the urge to take my own life which causes me great mental anguish. I’m devoid of any positive emotions and I’m a recluse with only a couple of friends.

I gave the Church most of my money, so I’m broke and I have no wife or kids or immediate family.

Every day I just do some computer work, go to the gym, watch too much TV and play cards with a dear friend two or three nights a week, that’s my life now. I’m trapped. I’ve lost my personality.

I hardly ever talk to anyone and since I’m constantly thinking I live in my own little world.

I’m 66 years old, I’m in debt, and I have no family of my own. I live alone. I cry a lot. I hate my life now.

I often think about being put to sleep so I can end the psychological suffering I have to endure every day.

I will regret to my dying day that I ever got involved with the Church of Scientology because when I really needed their help the staff at the Church just abandoned me.

I don’t want to be shocked or drugged or institutionalized.


HowdyCon 2019 in Los Angeles

THE LATEST: Based on some of the responses we’ve been getting, we could have been clearer about the latest HowdyCon news. So we’ll try this again.

This year’s HowdyCon is in Los Angeles. People tend to come in starting on Thursday, and that evening we will have a casual get-together at a watering hole. We have something in mind, but for now we’re not giving out information about it.

Friday night we will be having an event in a theater (like we did on Saturday night last year in Chicago). There will not be a charge to attend this event, but if you want to attend, you need to RSVP with your proprietor at tonyo94 AT gmail.

On Saturday, we are joining forces with Janis Gillham Grady, who is having a reunion in honor of the late Bill Franks. Originally, we thought this event might take place in Riverside, but instead it’s in the Los Angeles area. If you wish to attend the reunion, you will need to RSVP with Janis (janisgrady AT gmail), and there will be a small contribution she’s asking for in order to help cover her costs.

HOTEL: Janis tells us she’s worked out a deal with Hampton Inn and Suites, at 7501 North Glenoaks Blvd, Burbank, (818) 768-1106. We have a $159 nightly rate for June 19 to 22.



Scientology’s celebrities, ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and more!

[Alanna Masterson, Terry Jastrow, and Marisol Nichols]

We’ve been building landing pages about David Miscavige’s favorite playthings, including celebrities and ‘Ideal Orgs,’ and we’re hoping you’ll join in and help us gather as much information as we can about them. Head on over and help us with links and photos and comments.

Scientology’s celebrities, from A to Z! Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Scientology’s ‘Ideal Orgs,’ from one end of the planet to the other! Help us build up pages about each these worldwide locations!

Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society!

Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in our weekly series. How many have you read?



[ONE year ago] Scientology laying on the ‘religious freedom’ act thicker than ever as its TV channel nears
[TWO years ago] Wealthy Scientology donor Joy Villa plays latest prank on ‘Gays for Trump’ today in DC
[THREE years ago] Scientology officials panicked about overdose death of star Narconon pupil: Boyfriend
[FOUR years ago] Scenes from the ‘Going Clear’ publicity caravan in midtown Manhattan
[FIVE years ago] Bruce Hines takes us through Scientology’s Original Operating Thetan Level Seven!
[SIX years ago] Document Leak: Scientology Sexual Histories
[SEVEN years ago] Scientology Sunday Funnies: Use Kids to Solicit Donations? Why Not!
[ELEVEN years ago] What to Get L. Ron Hubbard for his Birthday


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley has not seen his daughter Stephanie in 5,378 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 1,509 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 2,011 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 1,491 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 554 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 442 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 3,749 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 1,617 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 2,391 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 3,165 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 2,511 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 11,077 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 6,997 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 3,164 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 2,745 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 3,005 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 2,045 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 1,757 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 1,283 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 5,372 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 2,512 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 2,832 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 7,688 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 2,807 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 1,163 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 5,465 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 1,571 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 1,973 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 1,845 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 1,428 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 1,923 days.
Mary Jane Sterne has not seen her daughter Samantha in 2,177 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 13,286 days.


Posted by Tony Ortega on March 4, 2019 at 07:00

E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We also post updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2018 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2018), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Other links: BLOGGING DIANETICS: Reading Scientology’s founding text cover to cover | UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists | GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice | SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts | Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Watch our short videos that explain Scientology’s controversies in three minutes or less…

Check your whale level at our dedicated page for status updates, or join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news | Battling Babe-Hounds: Ross Jeffries v. R. Don Steele


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