Here’s an example of how Scientology’s ‘disconnection’ is designed to eat away at you

We’ve written several times about Carol Nyburg. Many ex-Scientologists remember her as the friendly accommodations registrar at the Flag Land Base — it was Carol’s job to get you placed in the right rooms when you came for an extended stay at Scientology’s spiritual mecca.

Like so many others, however, she was subjected to abuse as a Sea Org member and became disillusioned with leader David Miscavige. After 26 years in the Sea Org, Carol left, and was then declared a “suppressive person” — an enemy of the church.

One of the most difficult things about being declared for Carol was that her two children reacted to it in starkly different ways. Her son, Jeff, had also left the Sea Org and Scientology, but when his father asked him to cut off contact with Carol or risk being declared himself, he refused and stayed in touch with her.

Carol’s daughter Nancy, however, cut Carol entirely out of her life, as she was instructed to do. Nancy had grown up in Scientology’s “Cadet Org” and was a Sea Org worker herself from 1997 to 2004. She was a Scientology “public” when her mother was declared, someone who doesn’t work for the church.

And Carol lost more than her daughter. Nancy was the mother of three children, and when Nancy disconnected from her, Carol lost contact with her three grandchildren.

In 2016, Carol was one of several former Scientologists who participated in a television series about disconnection that has never aired. As part of her episode, Carol went to Clearwater hoping to set up a surprise visit with Nancy. But as they prepared to film an encounter, Carol was shown a photograph of Nancy — who was about eight months pregnant, something Carol was completely unaware of.

“She looked ready to deliver any minute. This was so startling to me that I just lost it completely. Then I got worried about seeing her at all and that it might be harmful to her – a shock for her as it was for me,” Carol told us.

She never got the chance to see Nancy — she and the film crew found out later that Scientology had learned Carol was in Clearwater, and ordered Nancy quickly out of town.

Since then, Carol has heard nothing from Nancy, or her grandchildren, or even if the new child was a boy or a girl.

Then, she was totally shocked when she and her sister received emails asking them for a donation to a fundraiser that Carol’s granddaughters were taking part in.

 
The email encouraged Carol to help her granddaughter with a Girl Scouts fundraising program — and it was from a granddaughter she had never met.

“She was born in 2012. That was the year I was declared,” she says.

When she learned that her sister had received a similar message, she asked her sister — who had never been in Scientology — to reach out to Nancy to find out if they were meant to receive the emails. Was it a sign that Nancy was beginning to relent on disconnection, a sign that she might be letting her mother back into her life?

Carol’s sister sent Nancy a message.

“Wondering if the Girl Scout email was for real or a fake…how are you all? Your Mom misses you so much,” she wrote.

Carol was stunned when her sister shared with her Nancy’s reply:

“The email is real. We are doing great! The kids are getting so big now! I miss you tons and tons!!!!!!!”

Nancy sent her aunt some photographs to show how her kids had grown. The photos showed them decorating pumpkins and having fun in an indoor pool.

Carol was stunned. “I was elated, thinking that Nancy must know that my sister and I are tight and that I would see the pictures. I thought she was discreetly reaching out to me,” she tells us.

So, cautiously optimistic that she was really getting the chance to communicate with her daughter again, Carol sent this message…

Nancy,

I loved seeing the pictures. I never look at your FB page because it is too painful to see. Like “looky no touchy.” I love you and all the children very much. You did not mention the youngest one that was born in 2016. Was it a boy or girl and how is he or she.

I will always love you and pray for you and your family every day – and of course for me too.

Love, mom

“I innocently thought somehow she had seen the light and wanted to reconcile,” Carol says.

Then she got Nancy’s reply.

I just want to start out by saying that if you are connected to those crazy, family destroying, hate spreading, asshats, this will be my last email ever. Family is the most important and as a Christian – shoot it doesn’t matter what religion – that hate spreading shouldn’t happen. It’s not productive and it doesn’t help anyone.

It doesn’t bring people together. And family should stick together not seek to make others wrong or point fingers.

There are faults in every religion and name-calling, hate spreading, exposing others wrong doings, is really not the answer.

“When I got her response I was shocked and devastated at the change in her tone,” Carol says.

At that point Carol reached out to us, and wanted us to see the language in her daughter’s response. We told her it was very characteristic of Scientology to turn things upside down — Nancy has obviously been conditioned to believe that it’s the former members of the church and other outsiders who are causing the family separations, and not the church itself.

We have talked to enough former Scientologists affected by disconnection to know that this is one of its most devastating features — dealing with a moment of hope that something has changed, that a family reunion might be around the corner, only to be crushed again.

We asked Carol if she wanted to make Nancy’s message public, and she said she did. We emailed Nancy, asking her to talk with us about her statement to her mother. We got no reply. Carol also heard nothing more from Nancy.

But she decided not to leave it at that. She then sent this message to her daughter, knowing that she might never hear from her or her grandchildren again.

Nancy, I first went into shock after reading your response and was not going to answer back. However, praying about this whole situation and asking for guidance my response is that I love you and all your children, my grandchildren. I welcome you anytime you would agree to see me either there or here. My love is unconditional. I do not condone family separation and have no hatred towards you or any Scientologists. Quite simply that is all I can say at this moment. I love you and want you in my life.

Love, Your mother

 
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Sheriff backed by Scientology loses re-election bid

On Monday we told you that officials from Scientology’s secretive Riverside County management compound, Int Base, had been quietly making donations to local political campaigns.

In particular, Int Base executives Muriel Dufresne and Catherine Fraser had donated $800 to the re-election campaign of Sheriff Stan Sniff.

Sniff was defeated yesterday by his challenger, a fellow Republican on his own staff, Lt. Chad Bianco.

In some consolation, however, the Board of Supervisors candidate they had backed, Russ Bogh, was victorious.

 
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Scientology’s celebrities and ‘Ideal Orgs’ — now with comments!

We’re building landing pages about David Miscavige’s favorite playthings, including celebrities and ‘Ideal Orgs.’ We’re hoping you’ll join in and help us gather as much information as we can about them, in order to build a record and maintain a watch as Scientology continues its inexorable decline — and yes, we finally have comments working on these new pages! Head on over and help us with links and photos and comments.

Scientology’s celebrities, from A to Z! Find your favorite Hubbardite celeb at this index page — or suggest someone to add to the list!

Scientology’s ‘Ideal Orgs,’ from one end of the planet to the other! Help us build up pages about each these worldwide locations!

Today’s Ideal Org: Tampa, Florida!

 
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Now on sale: Twice the Miss Lovely!

 
Our new book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is now on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. What a pleasure it is for us to work with her on this after we wrote about her ordeal as a victim of Scientology’s “Fair Game” campaigns in our 2015 book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, which is also on sale in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions.

 
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THE WHOLE TRACK

[ONE year ago] Tonight on ‘Leah Remini’: ‘I just walked away from Scientology after seeing Leah’s show’
[TWO years ago] On the ballot tomorrow: The former lawman who let Scientology’s drug horror clinic off the hook
[THREE years ago] Desperate to hurt Going Clear‘s Oscar chances, Scientology goes down a dangerous path
[FOUR years ago] Scientologist (and Tea Partier) Brent Jones is elected to Nevada’s legislature
[FIVE years ago] Statistically Speaking: Jefferson Hawkins Takes Us Into Scientology’s Numbers Fixation
[SIX years ago] FOUR MORE YEARS!…Of Inaction On Scientology?

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on November 7, 2018 at 07:00

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Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

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