TODAY AT SUBSTACK: If you’ve signed up for free emails at Substack, you will receive today’s feature story at your inbox: Scientology has already put Valerie Haney through a ludicrous 15 days of a kangaroo court it calls ‘religious arbitration.’ The church now says it wants even more days, and the new judge in the case, like those before him, accepted it as if there was nothing the court can do. [What is this Substack thing, anyway?]
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Technology Cocktail
“During the Happiness Rundown pilot auditing some rather spectacular results occurred. Not only did the pcs have many cognitions and wins in session, but these
resulted in immediate changes in the pc’s life and livingness—sometimes very noticeably as far as the pc’s spouse or associates were concerned. Often, within the first one to three sessions the pc improved markedly in appearance, started getting along better with people around him and became noticeably different to others. The HRD produces results that are clearly observable to others as well as the pc! These are gains in beingness, doingness and havingness. It increases ARC, raises the person’s sense of ethics, personal integrity and much more.” — L. Ron Hubbard, 1981
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“We pick up somebody. Let’s say he’s a Marine captain or something, and we’re auditing him. He’s been a Marine years ago. Obviously, this person is no mystic. This person is no spiritualist. He knows nothing about these things. Let’s audit him, and get through, and so forth. And we audit him for about five hours, and he’s making very slow progress. And he’s liable to ask you at the end of the five hours if you really think his guardian angel approves of the techniques you’re using. Don’t be too alarmed if you hear such a reaction, because there’s practically 100 percent of the populace, one time or another, have been mixed up with spirits, spiritualism, mysticism or any one of the allied lines by which man has sought truth and has gotten booby-trapped. This Marine, you find out, served a long hitch in Santo Domingo. And all the time he was in Santo Domingo he was talked to continually by a mamaloi. Otherwise, this boy’s been sane ever since. He receives all of his directions from a witch doctor, or a witch. Yeah, he’s been ordering troops around on the advice of a witch doctor for years. This is not uncommon. Because a thing is not spoken about is no reason it doesn’t exist or isn’t known. And that’s a good rule for you to go on.” — L. Ron Hubbard, March 31, 1954
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“My thanks to S. Moreau, R. Savage, Gerry Armstrong, and H. Harrison for helping on a voluntary basis cleaning up Fwd Tween Decks and Storage and mest moving in Hold 1 last night. L.H. 2 has been cleaned and restowed. Anyone littering or enmesting the area of any hold space will be dealt with severely by Ethics. These spaces (as well as all ship spaces) must be kept neat, clean and secure.” — Capt W.B. Robertson D/Captain FSO, March 31, 1971
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“There is a lot of work ahead. I don’t believe specialist auditors can do the job (they can help a lot of individuals, but there are too many for one or even ten thousand auditors). What is needed is that EVERY person in the world know how to deliver a session, and do so whenever someone near them needs one. Twill eventually get the job done.”
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1997: The Wall Street Journal printed an editorial in its March 25th edition, entitled “The Scientology Problem”. Some excerpts: “Scientology is currently demanding acceptance throughout the world, mostly on the basis of a 1993 Internal Revenue Service ruling extending it 501(c)3 tax-exempt status. The State Department’s human rights report, an ad by Hollywood figures and others have berated Germany over persecution of Scientologists. Other sects have also started with odd theology and behavior; is Scientology now traveling the road to respectability? Conceivably so, though the Scientologists have more history than most to live down, most of it written in court decisions here and abroad. Scientology performs its ‘auditing’ and ‘clearing’ according to a schedule of set fees. Those who are ‘cleared’ at one level go on to the next with further training and further fees. To many authorities, not to mention alienated former Scientologists, Mr. Hubbard’s creation looks a lot like the business of personal counseling or psychiatry (to which Scientology also raises theological objection). There have been repeated reports that Mr. Hubbard told his science-fiction colleagues that the way to get rich is to found a religion. The Scientologists promote anti-drug and anti-crime efforts, but even in the post-Hubbard era have been a magnet for controversy. For one thing, they are confronting the Internet, using copyright and other laws to inhibit their critics, who gather in a discussion group called alt.religion.scientology. Scientologists have succeeded with U.S. copyright suits against the posting of secret Hubbard texts, but have angered the Internet community. The texts keep appearing, for example on a Norwegian site calling itself Operation Clambake. Further litigation is currently under way in San Jose and Denver, with the patience of presiding jurists being tested by both Scientologists and ‘netizens.’ Internet defendants are now challenging the validity of the copyrights, and seeking to depose the secretive Mr. Miscavige about the circumstances of their transfer. Finally, Scientology is also in a controversy over the death of one of its members in Clearwater, Florida, in 1995. Lisa McPherson, 36, was detained by paramedics after she took off her clothes following a minor traffic accident. In lieu of psychiatric treatment, doctors released her to fellow Scientologists; 17 days later she died en route to another hospital where the staff included a Scientologist physician. We certainly hope that the Scientologists finally win the respectability they seek, though we note that the Mormons did abandon polygamy and the Jehovah’s Witnesses no longer beseech potential converts by setting up loudspeakers on their lawns. In the meantime, we wonder why the State Department is so exercised over German statements that would be protected by U.S. libel law, indeed, over a German position that was the U.S. position until the current administration. And we certainly think the IRS should share with the rest of us whatever persuaded it that money from the disturbed seeking solace is no longer being siphoned off into bank accounts in Switzerland.”
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“Hubbard thought ‘1984’ was a How-To manual.”
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Full Court Press: What we’re watching at the Underground Bunker
Criminal prosecutions:
— Danny Masterson charged for raping three women: Sentenced to 30 years to life on Sep 7, 2023. Appeal now fully briefed, waiting for 2nd Appellate District court to set a hearing date. Masterson has also submitted a habeas corpus petition.
— ‘Lafayette Ronald Hubbard’ (a/k/a Justin Craig), aggravated assault, plus drug charges: Grand jury indictments include charges from an assault while in custody. Pleaded guilty on Nov 10 to a 17-year prison sentence (eligible for parole in two to three more years). Awaiting transfer to state prison.
— Aaron Matthes charged for SA of child under 12 years old: OT Scientologist facing multiple mandatory life sentences. Next pretrial court hearing set for March 9.
Civil litigation:
— Leah Remini v. Scientology, alleging ‘Fair Game’ harassment and defamation: Some defamation claims were removed by Judge Hammock. Judge Hammock’s ruling is on appeal, which is now fully briefed. Awaiting the setting of an oral arguments hearing.
— Baxter, Baxter, and Paris v. Scientology, alleging labor trafficking: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’
— Valerie Haney v. Scientology: Forced to ‘religious arbitration.’ 15 days of arbitration completed, Val waiting for further word from the IJC.
— Chrissie Bixler et al. v. Scientology and Danny Masterson. Judge Upindra Kalra’s ruling denying Scientology’s motion to strike is on appeal. Appeal fully briefed. Motion to replace Jane Does’ AI-tainted brief denied by court. Oral arguments hearing on March 3.
— Jane Doe 1 v. Scientology, David Miscavige, and Gavin Potter: Case unsealed and second amended complaint filed. Scientology moves for religious arbitration. Trial has been set for January 10, 2028.
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Other links: The prosecution of Danny Masterson. Leah Remini’s Fair Game Podcast. Leah Remini’s A&E Series. Scientology’s Celebrities, from A to Z. Bryan Seymour’s suppressed series, Scientology Black Ops: Tom Cruise and dirty tricks. Scientology’s Ideal Orgs, from one end of the planet to the other. Scientology’s sneaky front groups, spreading the good news about L. Ron Hubbard while pretending to benefit society. Scientology Lit: Books reviewed or excerpted in a weekly series. How many have you read?
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THE WHOLE TRACK
[ONE year ago] Linkin Park’s Emily Armstrong expresses a very Scientology-like sentiment
[TWO years ago] Yet another celebrity ‘first’ spotted in Scientology event press releases
[THREE years ago] Scientology propaganda is the best thing ever, and we are here for it
[FOUR years ago] Hanan Islam, 62: Faced felony counts for insurance scam run out of Scientology clinic
[FIVE years ago] The Top 25 People Enabling Scientology, No. 4: The LAPD
[SIX years ago] Mark Bunker, now as city councilman, confronts issues with Scientology on day one
[SEVEN years ago] Scientology is putting Ideal Orgs in every country where it operates — except one
[EIGHT years ago] A Scientologist is running for lieutenant governor in Nevada — and it’s who you probably suspect
[NINE years ago] Jonny Jacobsen: The tweets about Scientology that got a comedian in hot water
[TEN years ago] Reason Rally 2016 in Washington DC: The Underground Bunker wants to see you there!
[ELEVEN years ago] Can you help French prosecutors find these witnesses to the death of a Scientologist?
[TWELVE years ago] Paris elects its first female mayor — and you have to see her record on Scientology!
[THIRTEEN years ago] Easter Sunday Funnies — Also: Our SMERSH Madness Championship!
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Bernie Headley (1952-2019) did not see his daughter Stephanie in his final 5,667 days.
Joe Reaiche (1958-2024) did not see his daughter Alanna Masterson in his final 6,999 days.
Mike Rinder (1955-2025) did not see his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in his final 7,589 days.
Tammy Synovec has not seen her daughter Julia in 3,584 days.
Valerie Haney has not seen her mother Lynne in 4,088 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 4,594 days
Sylvia Wagner DeWall has not seen her brother Randy in 4,144 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 3,134 days.
Klaus Büchele has not seen his daughter Jasmin in 5,520 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 3,015 days.
Christie Collbran has not seen her mother Liz King in 6,319 days.
Marc Headley has not seen his mother Trudy in 4,970 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 4,188 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 5,742 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 5,083 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 13,654 days.
Melissa Paris has not seen her father Jean-Francois in 9,570 days.
Valeska Paris has not seen her brother Raphael in 5,737 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 5,319 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 5,578 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 4,330 days.
Marie Poulin has not seen her mother June in 3,895 days.
Julian Wain has not seen his brother Joseph or mother Susan in 2,210 days.
Charley Updegrove has not seen his son Toby in 3,385 days.
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 5,067 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 5,404 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 10,257 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 5,373 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 3,735 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 4,146 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 4,534 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 4,418 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 3,982 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 4,494 days.
Mary Jane Barry has not seen her daughter Samantha in 4,754 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 15,858 days.
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Posted by Tony Ortega on March 31, 2026 at 07:00
E-mail tips to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter.
Our book with Paulette Cooper, Battlefield Scientology: Exposing L. Ron Hubbard’s dangerous ‘religion’ is on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats. Our book about Paulette, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.
The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2024 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Underground Bunker (2012-2024), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)
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Tony Ortega at The Daily Beast
