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Scientology has its whales — and now the Underground Bunker does too!

[Ready for your trophy?]

We learned recently that Scientologists can not only become “patrons” and “laureates” and “meritorious” based on how much money they give to the IAS (Scientology’s main slush fund), but they can also become “ambassadors” and “luminaries” if they help pay for book dissemination campaigns.

There are so many ways Scientologists can get fancy trophies and certificates and swag! Why should they have all the fun?

We decided it was about time we started awarding statuses to our amazing commenters, who have been in the trenches with us in this absurd pursuit for many years now.

In this case, the coin of the realm is upvotes, a rough guide to how useful or funny or poignant a comment is. And some of our readers have amassed some pretty huge piles of them. As an incentive for their participation, we’re rewarding our whales with some awfully fun status levels.

Here’s the deal: We did our best to tease out your upvote numbers from the Disqus backend, a process fraught with inconsistency. So please, if you don’t see yourself on the list, let us know so we can add you.


And for heaven’s sake, when you reach a new level of awesomeness, tell us so we can recognize you for it. It’s time your hard work paid off here in the Bunker, and heck, if you come to HowdyCon, we’ll hand out some certs or something. Just don’t expect giant trophies handed out by a coiffed little guy in a tux.


[500,000+ Upvotes: Blue Whale Kha-Khan]


[400,000-499,999 Upvotes: Fin Whale Invictus]


[300,000-399,999 Upvotes: Sperm Whale Maximus]



[200,000-299,999 Upvotes: Right Whale Excalibur]


[150,000-199,999 Upvotes: Bowhead Whale Laureate]

Andrea ‘i-Betty’ Garner, dagobarbz, NOLAGirl(Stephanie), Sherbet, Snake Plissken


[125,000-149,999 Upvotes: Humpback Whale Meritorious]

Baby, flyonthewall, Jimmy3, Missionary Kid, Panopea Abrupta, Phoebequeen, RMycroft, Robert Eckert


[100,000-124,999 Upvotes: Gray Whale Luminary]

chukicita, DodoTheLaser, Douglas D. Douglas, Juicer77, Once_Born, Phil Jones


[75,000-99,999 Upvotes: Bryde’s Whale Ambassador]

Draco, John P., Mark Parry-Maddocks, nottrue, Rasha, ze moo


[50,000-74,999 Upvotes: Minke Whale Vanguard]

aquaclara, Aron, Artoo45, BosonStark, Captain Howdy, Derek, Eclipse-girl, Ella Raitch, Frodis73, Graham, Intergalactic Walrus, J. Swift, Johnny Tank (Forever Autumn), Kim O’Brien, Michael Leonard Tilse, Mockingbird, OTVIIIisGrrr8!, PickAnotherID, Shorpy, Suzanna Nielsen, Vaquera


[40,000-49,999 Upvotes: Beaked Whale Benefactor]

aegerprimo, Chee Chalker, Eivol Ekdal, Kestrel, LongtimeLurker, madame duran, MaxSpaceman, Newiga, One Human, salin, Science Doc, Stan, worstcultever



[30,000-39,999 Upvotes: Bottlenose Whale Guardian]

5 Feet Long and Luminous, Anonymous, beauty for ashes, chuckbeattyx75to03, daisy, FredEX2, Free Minds Free Hearts, gtsix, kemist, ,L. Wrong Hubturd, LHS (Nasty Woman), Liberated, MarcabExpat, Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack, OOkpik, Sejanus, sugarplumfairy, Sunny, Techie, TexasBroad


[25,000 – 29,999 Upvotes: Orca New Civilization Builder]

Ben Franklin, ConcepcionImmaculadaPantalones, davegrille, Harpoona Frittata, jazzlover, pluvo, Puget Buckeye, Qbird, stillgrace2, Todd Tomorrow, Tory Christman


[20,000 – 24,999 Upvotes: Beluga Whale Crusader]

Bob, Chris Shelton (Galactic Patrol), Dee Findlay-DeElizabethan, EmmaDaoust, HillieOnTheBeach, iampissed, Jack99, Jens TINGLEFF, Jerseygram, Karen de la Carriere, M from Toronto, mook, read my avi, Richard, Richard Grant, richelieu jr, Scream Nevermore, Skip Press, Still_On_Your_Side, SuccülentDuck, Sunny Sands, Tone


[15,000-19,999 Upvotes: Narwhal Humanitarian]

Andrew Robertson, April, Ardent, CK, edge, Gerard Plourde, Hamtaro, Independent Scientology News, Jeb Burton, Jgg2012, joan nieman, LeeAnneClark, Lousy Ratatouille, Lucille Austero, mirele, monkey, Mooser, Mrs. B (noseinabk), Narapoid, Noesis. outraged, PeaceMaker, Phil McKraken, Pierrot, ReallyMGM, Riga G, SarahDB, SLIM, Stacy, tigger, villagedianne, Vistaril, What’sup, WOG with Attitude


[10,000-14,999 Upvotes: Whale Shark With Honors]


0tessa, 3feetback-of-COS, Ann B Watson, Betsy, BigMcLargeHuge, Bob Crouch, Cars, Cat Daddy, Cheap & Nothing Wasted, Chocolate Velvet, Dawn G., Dr_Orpheus, dungeon master, EmmyD6, FistOfXenu, Fred G. Haseney, Gflded Kim, Glen, JaxNGold, Jefferson Hawkins, Jenyfurrrrr, John Prince, KJP is in Portland, Lliira, Marc Headley, Mat Pesch, Mick Roberts, MostEthicalPimp, Mrs. V., MrsLurksALot, OrangySky, PerpetualOutflow, Pete Griffiths, Peter, PoisonIvyHerself, richelieu jr, Robert Hammond, Sarah James, shasha40, Sidney18511, Silence of the Clams, sizzle8, Snippy_X, Spackle Motion, stanrogers, The Hot Tub of Sadly No!, ThetaBara, Tracy Schmitz, TrevAnon, Wayne Borean


[7,500-9,999 Upvotes: Great White Shark Super Power]

10oriocookies, aurora50, Bavarian Rage, Bella Legosi, Beth, BraveBloggers, Fine Young Animal, FromPolandWithLove, George Layton, Illinoisian, Jo, Jon Hendry, Just Dee, Len Zinberg, Lurkness, madge filpot, Mary, Mary_McConnell, mon elle, N. Graham, PreferToBeAnon2, pronoia, RexAinsfree, ScientologyDoesNotExist, SciWatcher, scnethics, Sh00pZ, Shanester, Sibs, SnackTheoryConfidential, Suppressive Tomato, Synthia Fagen, Taffy Sinclair, TheDude, Trashton Porter, Walter Mitty, Zeruel (Sebastian)


[6,000-7,499 Upvotes: Manta Ray Disseminator]

Allie, Asillem4, Aslan’s Own, Barbara Angel, Bradley Greenwood, BTs2Free, BumpIt McCarthy, Cosmo Pidgeon, Cosmoneydoc, downtherabbithole, ExCult.Jan, grundoon, Heidi, HTC, jimpjorps, JustCallMeMary, Just Hummin’ Along, Lori Hodgson, mockingbird, Moonshot, mOstSpecialAgent Joe McClaine, Ms. B. Haven, Racnad, SandiCorrena, scottmercer, shellybrittcorrias, Sir Hemet TC Burlwood, VIII, Sookie Sookie, t1kk, tetloj, TheMirrorThetan, thetastic, TX Lawyer, Victoria Pandora, Zana


[5,000-5,999 Upvotes: Sunfish Insouciance]

A bird in the chimney, And I’m Cute, Too, anonsparrow, burythenuts, Captain MustSavage, Chuck Beatty, Commodore H. McCringleberry, DoveAlexa, El Con Blubbard, Fuzzy, Great White Clam, IASREG, Ivan Mapother, JJ, Joe Howard, Patty Moher, Princess Squishy, Rick Alan Ross, rom661, romanesco, Room 101, Sergeant Pepper, seriouslyWTF, skiesareblue, Spike Robinson, StudentOflife, Susan black, Sydjazz, WildaBeast


4,000-4,999 Upvotes: Sturgeon Affluence

9001, Alice Graves, California, CofS Exit Zone, Couch_Incident, Dave Reams, Davka, dchoiceisalwaysrs, Dolly Jones, Drat, Edward Whalley, Exterrier, generic sock, Interested, InterestedObserver12, KingofSweden, Little Brother Joey(3-7-77), MissCandle, Pedro, PRenaud, Sandy, Scientology_411, Simon Tology, Snuzey, SP’Onage, stateofcircle, Suzy, Unex Skcus, Valerie Ross, valshifter, VickiStubing, WhereIsSHE


[3,500-3,999 Upvotes: Marlin Straightwire]

Always Amazed, AnyOldName1, arcinva, baddog5623, Bernie Headley, Bert Allen, Bleuler, daytoncapri, DexterSka, Donna Cline Sargent, Doug Parent, Elegant Mess, endoftheQ, Fink Jonas, InTheNameOfXenu, jeff, jmh, Kevin Tighe, KNMF, Kristen, Lady Squash, Lina Sithlady, Linda Clement, Sarcasmo, Semper Phi, Shut Up Oracle, Spacer, Stephanie Loving, UhLasare, Verve, Xenu is my Homeboy, Xique


[3,000-3,499 Upvotes: Barracuda Beingness]

Chewkacca, deanblair, David E Love, Dibythesea, DMSTCC, DrGreatCham, FollowTheMoney, Franklin Adams, Helen Van Patterson Patton, InterestedinCrazy, itsIBBy, Jenny Griffith, Jon S, Larry, Mareka Backus, Mike Rinder, Minion Gayle, MM, Noni Mause, Orglodyte, Paulette Cooper Noble, Pierohi, Sir_Real, Troy MacGyver SP, Vault Digger, whingeybingey, woodrose


[2,500-2,999 Upvotes: Perch Patron]

Are_sics, BareFacedMessiah, BeezleBobby, Casabeca, Charles Murdoch, Charlotte, CoolHand, Cupcakes for Breakfast, Dancing Cranberry, Elendira, Flying High, George M. White, Hana Eltringham Whitfield, HolyCash, Imelda Marcos, Interested2, ithilien, Jonathan Cummings, Jonny Jacobsen, K2P2(KnitNut), Kitz, Kristin Rawls, May_West, Meepthorp, Midwest , Mom, Miss Cabbage, Mymy88, otviii2late, Paul V. Tupointeau, philosofa, pixie dust, scamofscientology, SignsOfSuccess, Skabetti, Susan B., trow125, USA MRIID, Willie Jones, Xenu’s son.


[2,000-2,499 Upvotes: Minnow Champion]

AmoVolare, Anonymous Confused Person, AutOmatic, BabySmurfette, cymboli, Dean Fox, dwayners13, Elen, ElleGee, Ever met an SP?, FOTF2012, Fly Lady, HeatherGraceful, jane456, Jenstnick, Jesse Prince, Jon Atack, Joy Lover (Ex-CS), Justmeteehee, JustSheila, Kay, LongNeckGoose, Marie Claire Wolf, MarionDee, Mark Bunker, mikecrosby, moonfire, NaplesFLA, NeverIn, ParticleMom, Peggy oh!, Robert Hanna Moore, Robin Descamp, Roger Y, Royce Harlow, Saint, Scott H, Stephenie Loving, TheLurkingHorror, Username, vistaril_LOL, Wog

UPDATE: This post is no longer being updated — for the latest status levels, please go to this updated page.

Underground Bunker TV

The programming just keeps coming at Underground Bunker TV. We’ve posted short videos about how ABCMouse and Humira are helping to keep Scientology in business, about Scientology attorney Gary Soter’s attempt to stop Leah Remini, David Miscavige’s position in the church (and why he’s shy about it), what Scientology says about Jesus and Christianity, Scientology’s obsession with masturbation, the reason Miscavige is obsessed with “Ideal Orgs,” why nothing was done about Narconon deaths, the vile secret buried in Dianetics, the continuation of Scientology spying, why Tom Cruise doesn’t see Suri and Where Is Shelly? Today we have another short spot that brings up something we’ve covered here before. We hope these vids will draw people back here to the Bunker to seek more information. So please help us get them out into the world!



Chris Shelton on why smart people fall for dumb things

Says Chris: “This last weekend, I was happy to give a talk at the Secular Hub here in Denver about the psychology of the cult mentality, what cognitive mechanisms are involved and a Q&A session addressing various aspects of cult behavior. While the title is similar to earlier public speaking I’ve done, this time I dived in even deeper on the psychology involved (kind of ironic for me as a former Scientologist, but there has been some very good work done in this field over the past 40 years which really helps explain how and why we think the way we do). I used Scientology in some of the various examples and spoke about it a bit more in the Q&A section as well as citing examples from other cults too such as NXIVM and the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Since ‘cult’ is a controversial term, I took care to define in the talk exactly what I was talking about, but I think most people here at the Bunker will completely understand this already. Enjoy!”



Scientology’s celebrities and ‘Ideal Orgs’ — now with comments!

[Alanna Masterson and the London Ideal Org]

We’re building landing pages about two of David Miscavige’s favorite playthings, his celebrities and his ‘Ideal Orgs.’ We’re posting pages each day, and we’re hoping you’ll join in and help us gather as much information as we can about them, in order to build a record and maintain a watch as Scientology continues its inexorable decline — and yes, we finally have comments working on these new pages! Head on over and help us with links and photos and comments about all of your favorite celebrities and failing Ideal Orgs

Previously, we posted pages for celebrities Anne Archer, Beck Hansen, Catherine Bell, Chick Corea, Elisabeth Moss, Erika Christensen, Ethan Suplee, Giovanni Ribisi, Greta Van Susteren, Jenna Elfman, John Travolta, Juliette Lewis, Kelly Preston, Kirstie Alley, Laura Prepon, Marisol Nichols, Michael Peña, Nancy Cartwright, Tom Cruise Danny Masterson, Stanley Clarke, and Edgar Winter. And for the Ideal Orgs of Portland, Oregon; Sydney, Australia; San Diego, California; Denver, Colorado; Nashville, Tennessee; Perth, Australia; Tokyo, Japan; Sacramento, California; Las Vegas, Nevada; Silicon Valley, California; Rome, Italy; Orlando, Florida; Moscow, Russia; Amsterdam, Netherlands; Seattle, Washington; Dallas, Texas; Melbourne, Australia; San Fernando Valley, California; Pasadena, California; Bogotá, Colombia; Budapest, Hungary; and Phoenix, Arizona.

Today it’s Alanna Masterson and London, England!




Please join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley has not seen his daughter Stephanie in 5,257 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 1,860 days
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 403 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 291 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 1,466 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 2,240 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 3,014 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 2,360 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 10,926 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 2,594 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 2,854 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 1,894 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 1,606 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 1,132 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 5,221 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 2,361 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 2,681 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 7,537 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 2,656 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 1,012 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 5,314 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 1,420 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 1,823 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 1,694 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 1,277 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 1,782 days.
Mary Jane Sterne has not seen her daughter Samantha in 2,026 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 13,135 days.


3D-UnbreakablePosted by Tony Ortega on October 4, 2018 at 07:00

E-mail tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2017 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Undergound Bunker (2012-2017), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of L.A. attorney and former church member Vance Woodward
UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists
GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice
SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

Other links: Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news


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