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FLORIDA IS IDEAL: Scientology ushers in glorious new civilization in country’s wang

Florida’s utopian future is here now!

Our thanks to Rasha for sending us the new Scientology Source magazine, which contained a somewhat understated story noting a monumental advance for planet earth. It’s so historic, we’re surprised that the magazine didn’t make an even bigger fuss about it. The news? FLORIDA IS IDEAL, people!

The magazine noted that when the Orlando “Ideal Org” was dedicated (on May 12), it meant that all of Florida’s orgs — Scientology’s word for churches — had attained that designation.


We couldn’t be happier for Miscavige, who has dedicated so much of Scientology’s resources to the Ideal Org program. Now, there’s simply nothing keeping Scientology from clearing Florida and establishing a glorious new civilization there. Here’s the announcement as it appeared in the magazine…



The Sunshine State is Now Ideal

We at Flag are very proud of our part in helping to create a historic milestone. Recently, hundreds from the Flag community made the jaunt to the Theme Park Capital of the World (which draws nearly 70 million visitors each year) to witness a magical event: the Grand Opening of the Orlando Ideal Org. It was a history-making occasion — on two counts. First, Orlando’s race to Ideal set a record for the fastest ever to cross the ribbon-cutting finish line. And when that happened, it also marked a first for the state: All of Florida’s orgs are now Ideal.

Dignitaries from across the state were invited to the stage to welcome the new Church to the neighborhood and to bear witness to Scientology’s commitment to the community. These leaders and allies included Ms. Susan Valdes of the Florida School Boards Association; Mr. Edward Herman, At-Risk Youth Educator for the City of Orlando; Mr. Justin Drach, Lieutenant of the US Armed Forces; and Pastor Joel Lewis of Out of Our Heart Ministries.

And to put an exclamation point on that momentous moment, Mr. David Miscavige, Chairman of the Board Religious Technology Center took to the stage and declared, ‘With the fall of that inaugural ribbon, a new Church of Scientology arises and with it a kingdom of spiritual freedom where every citizen reigns.”

We asked some of our sources to help us understand just how significant this moment is.

Tom DeVocht: What L. Ron Hubbard once called “Saint Hill Size Orgs” was put out there as the requirement that all orgs achieve for OT 9 (which doesn’t exist) to be released. That was abandoned by Miscavige because he knew it was not obtainable. And he was facing a pretty major crisis. So he redefined the goal as “Ideal Org” instead, which means, simply, new buildings purchased, and renovated with new displays. Miscavige knew he could never recruit people for these organizations for the same reason above. He also claimed that he alone was able to define “Scientology” or any aspect of it to anyone (“Can you imagine anyone else trying to explain it to a celebrity?” he once asked me). He was right, except he can’t either. So he came up with “the” solution which he explained to me in detail in London in 2004. BUILDINGS WITH DISPLAYS. The buildings would look good, and people “judge us by our MEST (buildings).” The displays (monitors showing Scientology videos) meant that he didn’t need staff (or have to pay them). People could walk in and find out everything about Scientology without any personal interaction whatsoever (which is funny, considering one of Scientology’s core principles is “communication”). Plus, the money spent on typically historic buildings in abandoned downtowns looked really good with the IRS for tax purposes. Saint Hill Size was supposed to mean bustling with public. Ideal Org means nicely renovated with displays. He just changed the definition. I had detailed conversations with him about this. I didn’t entirely get it (it was unimaginable at the time that he meant it this way) but that was his entire strategy. And he’s been working it every since, relentlessly. So what you see in Scientology ghosts orgs now is by design. Scientology is a lost cause — Miscavige’s “Ideal Org Strategy” was his solution to the problem and a way to keep making money till the rest of the staff and public finally catch on and leave.

Sunny Pereira: The concept for Saint Hill Size Orgs was that it would be able to take care of itself in every way, in regards to its own expansion, and, more importantly, financially viable. The concept started with Hubbard with the Birthday Game, in 1982, and giving orgs the goal to become Saint Hill Sized in order to get OT Levels delivered to all the staff right in their org. Very few orgs made Saint Hill Size, even less maintained it. (As you can tell from Tom’s message.) So now, since clearly the idea of making orgs Saint Hill sizes is a pipe dream, Miscavige came up with the Ideal Org program, to give Scientology fools a goal. So now we see all orgs have made Ideal in Florida. What does it mean? Clean and newly renovated empty buildings. If they really cared about people and society, they could provide food and shelter to the needy, but clearly that is way below them. Congratulations, Scientology, on your empty orgs, that produce nothing to help what ails man. Pop the champagne.

Mat Pesch: What religion constantly claims as its BIG accomplishment as the purchasing and upgrading of real estate? The idea of helping the poor, the abused, the struggling, does not even enter the mind of the “church” of Scientology. The idea of helping someone without getting paid or at least getting some kind of PR value, is not even a concept. To originate such an idea as an executive in Scientology would at least result in a demotion. They don’t even point to their “religious” training and counseling as their main accomplishment. It’s REAL ESTATE and MONEY. Staff in Scientology actually chant, loudly as a group, the Hubbard directive that states “MAKE MONEY. MAKE MORE MONEY. MAKE THE MONEY MAKE MONEY!” You won’t hear that kind of chanting coming out of any other church. Scientology has no God, its has no prayers. It has a complete dedication and fixation on money and that which represents money. Sad but true.

Phil Jones: Florida is considered the ‘mecca’ of Scientology. It houses the upper end of the Bridge and all missions and Orgs eventually send all their public there. And yet, in spite of that, along with Scientology TV, Super Bowl ads, and their front group activities, Scientology has not been able to clear a single street, town, or city in Florida. I’ve driven through Clearwater many times and there are so few Scientologists around that it is almost like a ghost town at times. Scientology may have “Ideal Orgs,” but they are still just empty buildings. They have not made any inroads or impression on society in any meaningful way. That is of course, “ideal” for us.

Paul Burkhart I don’t think that Scientology boasting is particularly noteworthy. The less stable one’s position is in the world, the more one needs to prop it up. And we are living in the Facebook era of ubiquitous crowing. That said, one would have to live very deep in the Scientology bubble to be impressed by the feat of renovating Tampa, Orlando, Miami and Flag over the course of more than a decade. Tampa opened in March of 2011. A year or two is normal for a 50,000 sq ft building renovation. The all powerful OT’s of Flag were tapped to make these buildings get done. Did they not really believe it when LRH said that the consideration that it takes a long time to build something is false? Maybe instead of a celebration, there should be an investigation into why it took so long. But the real question is, now that Florida has some Ideal Buildings with Ideal Staff and Ideal Services, is anyone going to achieve the superhuman state of OT … and demonstrate (under controlled conditions) even one instance of extra-ordinary powers? Or do all the Ideal facilities amount to much ado … about nothing.

Mark Bunker: If Scientology thinks Clearwater is clear it’s probably because they’ve managed to drive all the natives away from the downtown so they can postulate in peace. When Miscavige was holding his ribbon-cutting ceremony this past year I tried to get permission from the partners at a law firm to go up to the roof of their building to videotape the event but by the time I had walked in the door of the lawyer’s office Scientology had the main partner on the phone telling him to have nothing to do with me. Recently when Leah Remini was in town and we shot a little video from a park across from that attorney’s office I saw that the people who had reported me were now in that lawyer’s office that had been turned into one of Scientology’s newest Disneyland store fronts. I believe the policy is if I step in the door Scientology has to buy the building.


Scientology’s celebrities and ‘Ideal Orgs’ — our new project

[Anne Archer and the Portland Org]

Hey, gang. We’re super glad that you enjoy the blog format here at the Bunker. Every morning at 7 am eastern we serve up something new and fresh, and another day of illuminating and fun conversation begins.

But as much as we try to provide links to our past stories in order to build up the knowledge base here, the blog form is not always ideal for maintaining a database about Scientology subjects. So we’re embarking on a new project today, creating landing pages for specific areas that we can go back to again and again when those subjects come up. And we’re hoping you’ll pitch in to help us build up those pages.

We’re starting out with two of David Miscavige’s favorite playthings, his celebrities and his ‘Ideal Orgs.’ For the next several weeks, we’ll post a couple of pages each day, and we’re hoping you’ll join in and help us gather as much information as we can about each of them, in order to build a record and maintain a watch as Scientology continues its inexorable decline.

For today, we’ll start out with Anne Archer and Portland, Oregon because, why not?


Love is the law of the land

[L to R: Bob Guffanti, Kernan Coleman, Derek Bloch, and Salvador Sandoval]

Our hearts are full for Underground Bunker regular Derek Bloch on the occasion of his marriage to Salvador Sandoval in San Francisco. Bunkerites Bob Guffanti and Kernan Coleman joined them for the ceremony, and we only wish we could have been there too.

“Today is the happiest day of my life! I want to say something about my parents or my Scientology past but honestly this is about me and Sal and our future together,” Derek says. “I found the love of my life and today that love was officially recognized by the State of California. Thanks to Artoo for the pictures. Love wins.”




Please join us at the Underground Bunker’s Facebook discussion group for more frivolity.


Scientology disconnection, a reminder

Bernie Headley has not seen his daughter Stephanie in 5,235 days.
Katrina Reyes has not seen her mother Yelena in 1,838 days
Brian Sheen has not seen his grandson Leo in 381 days.
Geoff Levin has not seen his son Collin and daughter Savannah in 269 days.
Clarissa Adams has not seen her parents Walter and Irmin Huber in 1,444 days.
Carol Nyburg has not seen her daughter Nancy in 2,218 days.
Jamie Sorrentini Lugli has not seen her father Irving in 2,992 days.
Quailynn McDaniel has not seen her brother Sean in 2,338 days.
Dylan Gill has not seen his father Russell in 10,904 days.
Mirriam Francis has not seen her brother Ben in 2,572 days.
Claudio and Renata Lugli have not seen their son Flavio in 2,832 days.
Sara Goldberg has not seen her daughter Ashley in 1,872 days.
Lori Hodgson has not seen her son Jeremy and daughter Jessica in 1,584 days.
Marie Bilheimer has not seen her mother June in 1,110 days.
Joe Reaiche has not seen his daughter Alanna Masterson in 5,199 days
Derek Bloch has not seen his father Darren in 2,339 days.
Cindy Plahuta has not seen her daughter Kara in 2,659 days.
Roger Weller has not seen his daughter Alyssa in 7,515 days.
Claire Headley has not seen her mother Gen in 2,634 days.
Ramana Dienes-Browning has not seen her mother Jancis in 990 days.
Mike Rinder has not seen his son Benjamin and daughter Taryn in 5,292 days.
Brian Sheen has not seen his daughter Spring in 1,398 days.
Skip Young has not seen his daughters Megan and Alexis in 1,801 days.
Mary Kahn has not seen her son Sammy in 1,672 days.
Lois Reisdorf has not seen her son Craig in 1,255 days.
Phil and Willie Jones have not seen their son Mike and daughter Emily in 1,760 days.
Mary Jane Sterne has not seen her daughter Samantha in 2,004 days.
Kate Bornstein has not seen her daughter Jessica in 13,113 days.


3D-UnbreakablePosted by Tony Ortega on September 12, 2018 at 07:00

E-mail tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook versions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

The Best of the Underground Bunker, 1995-2017 Just starting out here? We’ve picked out the most important stories we’ve covered here at the Undergound Bunker (2012-2017), The Village Voice (2008-2012), New Times Los Angeles (1999-2002) and the Phoenix New Times (1995-1999)

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of L.A. attorney and former church member Vance Woodward
UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists
GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice
SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

Other links: Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our non-Scientology stories: Robert Burnham Jr., the man who inscribed the universe | Notorious alt-right inspiration Kevin MacDonald and his theories about Jewish DNA | The selling of the “Phoenix Lights” | Astronomer Harlow Shapley‘s FBI file | Sex, spies, and local TV news


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