SUPPORT THE UNDERGROUND BUNKER
You can either make a one-time donation to the site via Paypal...

...or you can subscribe and get billed monthly:

FOLLOW ME ON
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR
E-MAIL LIST
To join our e-mail list & get daily updates on new stories, e-mail us at newstory@tonyortega.org.
RSS Feed
Click here to add The Underground Bunker to your RSS Reader

Hold your horses! We can tell you who were the big celebs at Scientology’s grand opening

JennaBodhiSMP

 
Over the last couple of days, we’ve all seen a lot of photographs from the big Scientology grand opening of its new media center in Los Angeles. Some of our readers were snapping photos outside of the event and came up with some revealing looks at all the security the church had in place to keep onlookers away.

We also saw the photos and videos that Scientology posted which claimed that “more than 10,000” people had showed up (which was a wild exaggeration).

But even after all that, we hadn’t really found an answer to the question we asked Saturday morning: Which of Scientology’s vaunted Hollywood celebrities would show up for this all-important David Miscavige extravaganza?

Scientology’s press releases didn’t mention any celebrities, and our readers didn’t spot anyone very significant.

But then, one of our eagle-eyed researchers realized that the VIPs in the front row were shown in a photograph posted by the church — but at a far distance, so the figures looked really, really small…

 
SMPFrontRow4

 
But our friend also realized that Scientology can’t help itself and loves to show off its high-tech toys. This photo was in fact a huge one that could be blown up quite a bit without losing detail. And once he did that, he could definitely make out who was in the front row at Saturday’s event…

 
SMPFrontRow2a

 
And that’s when we realized that the biggest “stars” that Miscavige could convince to come to his big Hollywood coming out party were…

Jenna and Bodhi Elfman.

Jenna’s fame largely comes from her run as Dharma Freedom Finkelstein Montgomery in ABC’s 1997-2002 comedy series Dharma and Greg. We also thought she was good as Professor Veronica Micelli in 1998’s Krippendorf’s Tribe. But she’s also been known as one of Hollywood’s most militant Scientologists. There was the infamous 2006 “Have you raped a baby?” episode, as told by TMZ. And more recently, she has provided a different sort of entertainment with a video series she’s done with her (generally insubstantial) husband Bodhi that had her exclaim, at one point, that she’d “blow a horse” if it meant she could simply relax and watch Netflix all day.

In other words, this is Hollywood royalty!

Also in the front row, we spotted Her Royal Governness of the Vast Valley Territory, Scientology’s cute nickname for Nancy Cartwright, better known as the voice actor behind Bart Simpson. The others we recognized were a couple of Scientology’s wealthy whales, Bob Duggan and Tom Cummins.

But where was Tom Cruise? (Filming in England, apparently.) And Travolta? Alley? Or any of the young celebs? Beck, Elisabeth Moss, Erika Christensen, Danny Masterson?

Too busy, apparently.

We’re sure you’ll be able to identify some of others in the crowd. Give it a good look and let us know who you spot. (We’re going to post it at full resolution. If it messes with your device’s display, we apologize in advance)…

 
SMPFrontRow1

 
And before you get too excited — no, that’s not Tommy Davis next to and behind Nancy Cartwright, as another angle shows…

 
SMPFrontRow5

 
So where were Scientology’s really big stars? We were already pretty underwhelmed by this event, which had Scientologists going through elaborate security procedures and standing in bright sunshine for hours so they could witness another brief appearance by David Miscavige. Maybe it’s no wonder that the church’s brighter lights didn’t want to bother with it.

 
——————–

HowdyConBanner

 
——————–

3D-UnbreakablePosted by Tony Ortega on May 31, 2016 at 07:00

E-mail tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle editions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information about the book, and our 2015 book tour, can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of L.A. attorney and former church member Vance Woodward
UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists
GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice
SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

Other links: Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | Scientology boasts about assistance from Google | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our Guide to Alex Gibney’s film ‘Going Clear,’ and our pages about its principal figures…
Jason Beghe | Tom DeVocht | Sara Goldberg | Paul Haggis | Mark “Marty” Rathbun | Mike Rinder | Spanky Taylor | Hana Whitfield

 

Share Button
Print Friendly, PDF & Email
  • So, did anyone recognize any of the hole “executives” from the church? Jenny at LAX? Guilliame Lesevre? Heber Jentzch? Marc Yeager? They didn’t trot out a single one of them for show? I didn’t see Suggs to be John either. Does anyone have any idea what the current Org Board is for management, or does it just have Miscavige and a line down to everyone else that’s left in the SO? Edited for Pinot Noir induced typos.

    • Juicer77

      I suspect these days the Org Boards change every 30 minutes or more. You know DM just loves to have those things filled out completely! XD
      PS I want tasting notes on the Noir.

      • Considering what happened to the last person to “fix” the org board, I imagine Davey has to “do it all himself.”

  • Oh dear, “Sfarney” on Wikipedia (likely Lynn R. Farny) just sucked an Arbcom topic ban on Scientology.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Sfarney#Notice_that_you_are_now_subject_to_an_arbitration_enforcement_sanction_2

    I expect that he’ll respawn momentarily with a new id.

    Hopefully Jossi Laval will soon follow.

    • Juicer77

      That page is so interesting… look at all the work Sfarney has put into obfuscation!

  • Kay

    OK you guys…..am I just SO slow that I didn’t get Tony’s joke in the title of the blog about “Hold your Horses” until right now? (as in Jenna and Bodhi Elfman were the biggest show biz names there and Jenna famously and crudely referred to the equines in her love life) Or did he not mean it that way and I need to go wash my brain out with soap? Either way it’s hlarious…..

    • Should have read “hide your horses.”

      • Kay

        Funny !

      • Todd Tomorrow

        Or have watched the documentary, Zoo.

        • Frodis73

          have you seen it? i have heard about it but not sure i could stomach that one.

    • Liberated

      Neigh-hhh,
      I actually heard her say “I would blow a horse” on Letterman. I couldn’t believe it.

      • Kay

        THAT was on Letterman ????? Wow……uh……so……words fail me. (I suspect Letterman didn’t find it that amusing…I think he likes real wit, which requires intelligence and at least a modicum of class. That’s more Howard Stern’s style.

        • Liberated

          Yes, he remained cool,was taken slightly aback. Like I’ve said before, the more cult-addicted the celebrity becomes the more vulgar, boorish, and crude they are.

          • Todd Tomorrow

            It was on her podcast but on letterman? Something she must think about and get help for!

            • Liberated

              Oh yes, she thought she was funny. She referred to her kids as little bastards, and little f–kers, and dropped the horse phrase . I was disgusted, along with most everyone.
              But, as we all know clams are above the rest of us, they can say anything.

            • Todd Tomorrow

              Call me old fashioned but I always wonder what these idiots ever have the forethought that one day their children will hear Mummy talking about giving oral to a horse.

            • Liberated

              They don’t care, the children will grow up to be exactly like them. They think it’s cool.
              Sick!

        • Maybe, now that she doesn’t have a real acting job, she’s presenting herself as a candidate for a freak reality show, who can be relied upon to keep the pot boiling by saying outrageous things.

        • Todd Tomorrow

          I love Howard and truly didn’t think Letterman was on anymore.

          • Liberated

            True, he left this time last year, but Jenna said that over a year ago, and from what I’m hearing, she has said that many times after. The girl thinks she’s funny.
            I know these things, I live in Indy, Dave rules.

  • Liberated

    Earlier this evening I watched “Bridge of Spies”, (yes I did take a break to check on the bunker, I had a bunker jones).
    There’s a scene where the Tom Hanks character goes to East Berlin, and it’s surrounded in circular barbed-wire, I immediately thought of The Int. base.
    Now, that’s freedom for ya.

    • Robert Eckert

      Excellent movie, for those who are looking for recommends.

      • Graham

        Excellent indeed. Tangentially relevant, but could I also recommend a book called “The House by the Lake” by Thomas Harding? This is the biography of a lake-side house built near the Glienicke Bridge (The bridge of spies) The house was built by Jews, taken over by Nazis, then by the East German authorities, so it’s a microcosmic history of Germany through the convulsions of the 20th Century. The house is currently being renovated and has official ‘denkmal’ status.

  • If you’re really bored, you can find all kinds of strange glitches and clumsy repairs in this image. What was going on with Mr. Redpants that they had to do some cloning in his crotchular area. I also like how the guy next to the old, seated dude looks like he has something shoved through his septum. Sadly it’s just some amusingly timed confetti.

    • You mean that he doesn’t have a Wild and Crazy nose?

    • Kay

      “Crotchular area” FOFL !!! I swear I’m going to CHART that on an ER chart the next time I’m there with students, I don’t care if I get dinged for that, it’s hilarious.

      The guy with the impaled nose…..hilarious !! You guys are right, it absolutely looks like a tampon hooked onto a #2 pencil piercing through his nasal septum.

      I hope you have more those are just hysterical !

      • Todd Tomorrow

        Could it be that’s a thetan escaping?

    • Juicer77

      Poor guy. Looks like no one was allowed in to use the bathrooms.

      • ReallyMGM

        Perhaps they were using Stadium Pals for pee breaks. For information check out this HILARIOUS description by David Sedaris from the Letterman show. KEYBOARD WARNING!!!!
        https://youtu.be/ejEcOMqBvpY

        ETA: I promise this is worth watching.

        • Juicer77

          So funny! And disgusting! The Co$ would have made it BYOSP anyway. XD

          • ReallyMGM

            Every time I see those people sitting through one of Davey’s long ass speeches where they have NO POTTY BREAK, I imagine all the men wearing Stadium Pals…and bags of pee strapped to their legs!

          • ReallyMGM

            It is a real thing. Many ads for it online. A bag of pee strapped to your leg? lol

          • ReallyMGM

            And this is why I like The Bunker late at night/early morning!

    • JaxNGold

      “Mr. Redpants” and “cloning in the crotchular area” for the win. Hands down. 😂

  • Ah, in the alternate view of Her Royal Governess of the Val-Pak Thrifty Mart, the young man to her right who, at first appeared to be Tommy Davis, is a Duggan spawn. His old man, Bob, is to the left of the Voice-over Vizier of the Valley.

  • 9001

    O/T Some more city silhouettes added to anon sticker/ poster image for us.
    Toronto, Dublin, New York and Los Angeles(F5)
    London, Sydney, Cleveland, Johannesburg

    • Anything you can do with this?

      • 9001

        Nothing springs to mind. Too early in the morning…I’ll have to think about it. Any suggestions?

        • I was just looking to sharpen it up.
          I ran it through a vector program but didn’t come out well.
          Don’t worry about it.
          It is the only one I’ve seen and would be good for lulz.

          • 9001

            A little bit sharper for you Shorpy 🙂

    • Justmeteehee

      Cambridge please

      • 9001

        For you Justme…

        • Justmeteehee

          Thanks!!

  • Jack99
    • Juicer77

      “And I’ve been verking like a doooooog.” XD

  • MostEthicalPimp

    It’s time again for Random Clam Chatter:
    The most admirable thing I’ve ever found in any person I’ve garnered admiration for has been persistence. Persistence is the only buffer we have against a world that is built for failure. Our inner workings tell us it won’t happen or that we won’t make it or that nothing is worth the effort. It’s what a person does to attack those ideas that determines their worth. It’s finding what we find effortless and putting all our efforts to forward that motion into the universe so someone else can see it and feel understood. We’re a whirlwind of helpless particles whirring in circles hoping to stick to something helpful- something beautiful in hopes we’ll understand ourselves better or in hopes that it will tame the unexplainable force of life we have inside of us or in hopes to feel safe at home at the expense of someone’s creation. –http://alexkwisner.com/

    • WOG with Attitude

      She’s a riot. Reminds me of Jaden Smith and a couple ex cult people who expound this drivel in an attempt to sound profound.

      • ReallyMGM

        Ah, the Smith kids. When I see “words of wisdom” from them I wonder where they will be when they are 30 or 35 years old. Sad to think about.

        • One day they’ll be click-bait: “10 celebrity kids and what happened to them”

          • ReallyMGM

            People talk about their hair and fashion choices, but I look at their eyes and see sadness.

        • WOG with Attitude

          They’ve really got the Ron disease of delusions of grandeur. They announce that they were both scientists or something. Bet they never cracked a junior science book. But like Hubbard, they declared that they were experts in something they know nothing about! Scary!!!

          • ReallyMGM

            I think after their experience with Will’s failed school, the kids didn’t go to any school. They wer taken out and just traveled with their parents and Jaden made movies with his dad. I don’t know what laws applied. (California does have laws requiring tutoring minors on set and hours working, but other states do not)

            Jaden mentioned in one of his stupid tweets about how useless education was. He is a genius in his own mind.

  • Dave Reams

    Oh! Jenna Elfman, maiden to the Dwarfman. Bleater of the torched song:

    “Everybody’s fucked up but me
    I can’t seem to find any OT’s
    Eight million Scientologists at sea
    and in public toilets I still have to stand when I pee

    With super powers a horse I am blowing
    when not in years a bulge in Bhodi’s pants has been showing
    My equine lover gives me facials
    while my saddle is dry, smelly and spatial
    Everybody’s ducking from me!
    Maybe now COB will put me back on TV?”

  • YellowSubmarine

    Hah, just heard a fun reference to Scientology on the album of Ugly Duckling: https://uglyduckling.bandcamp.com/album/taste-the-secret

    Song nr. 7 – The Drive Thru, at the end:

    *Maybe you’d be happier to go across the street
    You could eat at Veggie Hut where they don’t use any meat
    They play world music so it’s perfect for a hippie
    You can talk about communism, meat-hating sissy*
    What?
    *Beat it granolas*
    We’re not granolas
    *Don’t you have a protest to get to or something?*
    That’s so lame, this place sucks
    So rude, honey, he just called me a sissy to my face
    I’m not a sissy
    *Shouldn’t you be reading _Dianetics_?*

  • OOkpik

    Jenna Elfman?
    Neigh….No way!
    I’m outta here!

  • ReallyMGM

    My opinion of Jenna and Bohdi has nothing to do with her equine love. It is the way she talks about her children on her podcast.

    Jenna and Bodhi, these z-list entertainers, totally went OFF my radar when they called their young children “those little f*ckers” and othe disgusting things on their podcast. They did it for laughs, for “their fans” at the children’s expense. Their reason, their punchline was the kids interrupted theirs”sexy-time.” Grow up, Elfmans. You have kids. That happens to everyone with kids, even non-celebrities. (Hint: get a Sea Org nanny like the Cardones)
    If Jenna and Bodhi think their boys are a pain in the ass at the age they are now, are they in for a big old surprise later!
    BTW, I am a mom who got pretty damn mad at my daughter (a smart, strong-willed, difficult one) frequently over the years. I called her out plenty of times for her behavior but NEVER ever called her a derogatory name! (Daughter is grown-ass woman now with college degree, successful business, married w/ son who she does not call “the little f*cker.”)

    • daisy

      To be fair, while I agree with all of your sentiments but I believe , they believe talking about her kids like that is their humor. They don’t have a clue how they come across as crass and classless. Jenna was a funny actress in her own show a million yrs ago, but the scripts were written. Her recent efforts have shown she is not cute wthout a script. Brodhi thinks he is funny because he got a pretty girl to marry him with it. He is wrong. Someone posted that Brodhi thinks he is funny. I had no idea how he sees that is true. Oh yes I do —magic. and I am a young Elizabeth Taylor

      • ReallyMGM

        I totally get what you are saying Daisy. I didn’t care if they screamed the F-bomb to the end of the earth, but it was using the use of it as a joke at the expense of the kids. I would think anyone who referred to their children that way as crude/crass, celebrity or not. I’d probably tell them!

        The Elfmans are pretty much on their way down on their ride on the celebrity train. I hope they invested wisely and didn’t throw way too much money to CoS.

        I never watched her sit com years ago, probably because I didn’t like her in the movie with Ben Stiller and Ed Norton (can’t remember name). It never registered to me she was a Scientologist until she showed up at the Nashville CC opening.

    • Justmeteehee

      I agree, i feel the same and I would never disrespect my kids to anyone, never mind publicaly.

  • April Moonlight

    How funny you all are talking about Jenna Elfman and her kids, cuz i just happen to watch their latest podcast last night. they were talking about their kids and i was actually thinking today that they seem like really good parents. They were discussing how they want their kids to grow up to be kind and caring adults and treat people good and i was thinking that they seem like the kind of parents more people should emulate. that’s why it’s funny, how people can watch the same thing and come away from it with different views about it. or actually you probably saw a different podcast, maybe an earlier one than the recent one, cuz i don’t recall them making the comments someone quoted. they had one podcast a while back where it was really funny how the little one kept naming a kid he was having issues with… Leeewwwiissss… altho they told him not to name anyone – it cracked me up, you know in the way kids are naturally funny and do whatever you don’t want them to do. :-p I guess you all don’t like the Elfmans due to their pro-scientology stance, and i get that, but so far they seem like caring parents. i reserve the right to change my mind if they get their kids into it tho. Pleaze don’t let those cute kids end up in the Sea Org. If Jenna Elfman ever has to face disconnection from her own kids… i dunno.

  • Manuel

    I see 2 D LIST people on that picture, singers ANA VICTORIA and her father DIEGO VERDAGUER, but the interesting thing about that is the fact that they both made a song for the POPE FRANCISCO last year as u can see here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7tSYY5i8Xs , but Im guessing they are closeted scientologists…