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O Canada: We’re in Vancouver today, getting our British Columbia on. Let’s talk Scientology!

BritishColumbia

Today will mark our second incursion into Canada on our book tour, and our first return to Vancouver BC in many years. We hope you’ll join us at Seven Dining Lounge at 53 West Broadway starting at 7 pm. The event is free, so come on down and let’s talk Scientology and have a drink or two.

Last night we were in Seattle, and what a stellar group of people came out to see us. Seattle Skeptics and Seattle Atheists teamed up to host the event at Razzi’s Pizzeria on the north side of town. The room they booked held 70 people, but an overflow room held about another 30. It was another full venue on our tour. “This place is packed like a Scientology org in 1972,” we quipped.

Just a partial list of some of the former Scientologists who came out to see us: Amy Scobee and Mat Pesch, and Amy’s stepfather Mark Elliot. Gary “Jackson” Morehead. Rachel Denk. Camilla Andersson. And one of the real stars of Going Clear, Tom DeVocht.

Amy and Mat have been so important to getting word out about what really happens in Scientology. Not only through Amy’s book, but in the things they’ve told us that help us write our stories. And when we think of Amy Scobee, we think about the ways that Scientology tried to split her up from her mother, Bonnie Elliott, who stuck by her daughter.

We have heard that Bonnie is not feeling well, and we want her to know how grateful we are that she has helped us out in the past. She is a great inspiration.

Here’s a shot from last night as we enjoyed the post-party, with Mat Pesch, Amy Scobee, and Camilla Andersson…

 
Amy_Scobee_Mat_Pesch_Camilla

 
Who will join us tonight in Canada? We just hope they let us over the border!

 
——————–

Bonus photos from our tipsters

Oh look, Colombia has a clear, and Chile has its first OT 7. South America is going to be cleared in no time!

 
SciColombia5SciChile

 
Great caption from this photographer in Castro Valley, California: “So glad to see local businesses embracing the Halloween Spirit by having neighborhood haunts. #GoingClear”

 
SciCastro

 
——————–

BOOK NOTES
3D-Unbreakable

We didn’t get a chance to include photos in our book, so we’ve posted them at a dedicated page. Reader Sookie put together a complete index and we’re hosting it here on the website. Copies of the paperback version of ‘The Unbreakable Miss Lovely’ are on sale at Amazon. The Kindle edition is also available, and shipping instantly.

Tony Ortega’s upcoming appearances (and check out the interactive map to our ongoing tour)…

 
Sept 29: Vancouver, BC, Seven Dining Lounge, 7 pm

Oct 23: Sydney, Giant Dwarf Theatre (with Sen. Nick Xenophon)

Oct 25: Melbourne, venue secured (announcement coming later)

Oct 28: Adelaide, Wheatsheaf Hotel, (with Sen. Nick Xenophon)

Oct 30: Perth

Past dates: Santa Barbara (5/16), Hollywood (5/17), Orange County (5/17), San Diego (5/20), San Francisco (5/22), New York (6/11), Chicago (6/20), Toronto (6/22), Clearwater (6/28), Washington DC (7/12), Hartford (7/14), Denver (7/17), Dallas (7/20), Houston (7/22), San Antonio (7/24), Austin (7/25), Paris (7/29), London (8/4), Boston (8/24), Phoenix (9/15), Cleveland (9/23), Minneapolis (9/24), Portland (9/27), Seattle (9/28)

 
——————–

Posted by Tony Ortega on September 29, 2015 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of LA attorney and former church member Vance Woodward

UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer
The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill
The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our Guide to Alex Gibney’s film ‘Going Clear,’ and our pages about its principal figures…
Jason Beghe | Tom DeVocht | Sara Goldberg | Paul Haggis | Mark “Marty” Rathbun | Mike Rinder | Spanky Taylor | Hana Whitfield

 

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  • Observer

    omg, Mr. Observer just came home with one of these, and he keeps making me turn off the light so he can get the full effect: https://www.getstarshower.com/?uid=D3041B6FD6F87F50C1FF95C20893E17B&ref=TLB-bing-NST-TM&gclid=CKn5jf2pncgCFSpnMgodPKoBEA&gclsrc=ds

    • Saw it in Walgreens a few days ago. You like?

      • Observer

        He LOVES it and wants to keep it inside. It’s gonna take some getting used to. lol

        • MaxSpaceman

          It casts a huge amount of light covering a big house outside.

          How is it inside? Overwhelming? or toned down cuz there’s not much distance to expand its scope . . .

          • Observer

            It’s like being in a room with a stationary disco ball.

            • MaxSpaceman

              that might be kinda cool. Hubby loves it, eh …

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              I could fix that for you with a small servo motor.

          • I think you can turn them down. A neighbor has one with small dim green lights that looks nice and not garish.

    • ze moo

      I hope you’re not on an airport landing pattern.

      • Observer

        Actually, we are in the flight pattern when the wind is blowing from a certain direction. But since he wants to use it inside air traffic is safe.

        • ze moo

          It shouldn’t be a problem if the traffic is far enough away. Now, synchronize the ‘stars’ to some Pink Floyd.

    • flyonthewall

      That is awesome. Reminds me that I want a Lite Brite again

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soFXG2FaONw

      • Observer

        We had one of these

        • salin

          We did too. Wasn’t there some cray lite brite prankster freaking out folks in Boston a yr or so after 911 (when folks were still very jumpy?)

          • Observer

            yep

            • salin

              For the heck of it… I found a reference: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2007_Boston_Mooninite_panic

            • flyonthewall

              I never heard of that. That is great

            • salin

              It was trippy. I had some friends in Boston who didn’t know whether it was a big lulz (nope – marketing), or something to be fearful about. Watching the media at the time – and seeing the images – it looked like Lite Brite… what the heck? What’s the old CS&N line: “Paranoia runs deep… into your sleep it will creep”.

          • Acherontia

            I was in college in Boston when that happened. I think it was 2006, maybe 2007. Good times.

      • phoebequeen

        I loved Lite Brite.

    • salin

      I like the outdoor feature… maybe we could buy some and send them to neighbors of various orgs and missions. Then on a night – say Halloween – sparklely glow could be thrown upon their outside walls. Star dust… or exorcised BTs? You decide.

    • Kay

      I could take that on the outside, it would be nice instead of risking your life to hang up christmas lights from your roof…but on the inside I think it would drive me kind of nuts.

    • Cosmo Pidgeon

      I love this.

    • sugarplumfairy

      How could you not love a guy like that??

    • beauty for ashes

      I have clicked on the link, and while it is loading I’m gonna guess it’s like some sort of disco showerhead that plays music and has lighting effects. brb

      • Observer

        Close …

    • phoebequeen

      I want one! There is a restaurant with an outside bar that has one of those and I that they were so cool. Then, because I am an insomniac, I see the ad on late night tv. I wish they would have one with clear lights . I need to get out more.

  • Kay

    In honor of today’s festivities in Canada. I hope these don’t blow up to a huge size…I hate it when that happens, eh?

    • daisy

      I am laugh crying because it is true. Best commercial I have ever seen was, a car buried in snow with a guy pushing it with a cop car buried in snow with a cop pushing it . The tag line was, Canadian high speed chase. They were advertising car batteries, I think.

      • Kay

        That is hysterical !!!!!!

        • Kay

          Is this it? I found it on you tube

          https://youtu.be/0YiVchVOZhc

          • daisy

            That is the one.

            • Kay

              Oh good I’m glad…I can see what that made you laugh, it is really funny.

      • Donna Cline Sargent

        i saw that on my line

  • Vaquera

    O/T: Today’s Macarthur “Genius” Grant recipient, Ta-Nehisi Coates, is tweeting up a hilarious storm today.
    https://twitter.com/tanehisicoates/status/648716510538690561
    https://twitter.com/tanehisicoates/status/648712668849799168

    • salin

      I love Ta-Nehisi Coates! Not often I can tell you exactly when and where I read a magazine article. But I was in Bergen, No. in a hotel room 2 blocks from Bryggen riding out some jet lag when I read his Atlantic article on reparations – that so many folks got defensive about – and didn’t read anything past the word reparations. It was a very thought provoking article.

      • beauty for ashes

        Just fell down a rabbit hole of his tweets. Funny and thought provoking. Although reading a lot of tweets at one time is kinda mentally dizzying. Or I’m just old. 😉

      • Ella Raitch

        Just reading now…

    • coonellie

      This is awesome, thanks! His book is one of my all-time favorites. A MUST read. Thanks for sharing the tweets.

    • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

      Love him! And that was a great article. Always proud of my Baltimore-born peeps!

  • CherryPitz

    Super tired today after yesterday’s fun. After the talk I gave Tony two (gag) gifts. I explained that the value and quality of the gifts were inversely proportional to our esteem for him and our respect for his work. The box contains a blue silk ascot which I bedazzled with diamonds….er……ummmmm…….rhinestones. The second gift is the Freedom Medal of Blogging,awarded to an impromptu rendition of the Mission Impossible theme. Dang it, I forgot to salute when I gave it to him.

    • salin

      How fun!!

      Thanks again for sharing the event with us via your live blogging. You rock!

    • Miss Tia

      “Freedom Medal of Blogging”—Brilliant and perfect!! Thanks again for your live blogging last night!!

      • salin

        btw I see 236…14 heart/recommends to go!

      • salin

        238… 12 recommends to hit 250 on disqus. Off for dinner… seems that 250 is totally doable tonight.

        • Miss Tia

          now 10!!

          • salin

            now 6!!!

          • salin

            now 4!

            • Miss Tia

              we made it!!!! 250!!!

    • flyonthewall

      Tony is pimpin’ with that gold chain!

      • CherryPitz

        That was the idea. How much more classy does he look compared to TC or Grant Cardone? Amirite?

      • EmmaDaoust

        he da man

    • Ella Raitch

      Sounds a hoot!

    • SP Wogsy

      Woot! Woot!

      • beauty for ashes

        hey ~ were you lookin for me?

        • SP Wogsy

          Yes, I wanted to ask about an old link you posted, but I found it. I forwarded to a friend who has a gifted brother. The family loved it! All is good <3 Thank you.

          • beauty for ashes

            Oooh that was a good link.
            ((hugs))) haven’t talked to you in a while! 🙁

            • SP Wogsy

              I know ….I’ve been taking a break from Scientology. Miss you ❤️❤️❤️

    • L. Wrong Hubturd

      Blogger Blog, in tha house!

    • Acherontia

      This needs to be on a rap album cover

      • Chee Chalker

        My name is Tony and I like to dance
        Blogging ’bout Xenu is like making romance…..

        I’ll keep my day job….

        • Acherontia

          If you’re having e-meter probs I feel bad for you son

          I got 99 problems but a thetan ain’t one

          • Miss Tia

            I’ll tell you all about OTIII
            All of the details without a fee

    • Acherontia

      SORRY TONY.

  • Jimmy3
    • Nat-leficent
      • Jimmy3

        Whoops. Don’t tell them about the switcherooski I just pulled.

        • Observer

          Once I reached Columbus on my way to Cleveland last week I heard both Limelight and Freewill more times last week than I had in the previous 20 years put together. And Centerfold by the J. Geils Band. Once I hit Columbus on the way back they were mysteriously never on again.

          • Jimmy3

            I copied the wrong link and posted Limelight by accident. I don’t really care for that song and I wish Disqus would remove it. Freewill I love.

            • Chee Chalker

              Great crowd shots in that video….plus they sound pretty good live

            • Jimmy3

              The line “I can’t pretend a stranger is a long-awaited friend” always sounded snobby to me. Because, yeah, you’re not going crazy to meet another die-hard fan. But to many in your massive cult following, YOU are THEIR long-awaited friend. And they have made you rich and gotten you laid countless times. So sack up and pretend like they’re your long-awaited friends.

            • Chee Chalker

              Well keep in mind Neil Peart writes most (all?) of the lyrics and he is notoriously anti-social (shy?)

            • Jimmy3

              And a brilliant songwriter he is. The song is still great. Just that one line throws me off of it.

            • Chee Chalker

              He is one of my faves! I look at that lyric as him saying he is not going to be a phony…..like one of those who pretend they are besties with strangers……but I see your interpretation as well…yours is probably more accurate given the circumstances of his life (adulation of fans, which apparently really bothers him)
              If I was younger and knew what a hashtag was, I would hashtag this as #rockstarproblems

            • Observer

              Limelight is gone, but I saw it before you changed it.

              This is one I like.

            • Observer

              Oh, it’s gone. I just saw it before you changed it.

      • flyonthewall
      • L. Wrong Hubturd

        I KNEW it…every single upvote so far is a woman. 10 for 10. You ladies have no love for Rush.

        • Beth

          zero. I’m thinking Rush is kind of like the cilantro of rock bands. you either love them or hate them and there’s nothing you can do about it.

          • stanrogers

            I was kind of into the sound as a kid, but the early Randroid stuff was a definite turn-off lyrically. These days, I’d say that there are five songs that remain with me on merit. Freewill barely squeaks in by virtue of the line “if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice” – a reminder I frequently need.

            • Beth

              that is indeed a choice lyric 🙂

          • L. Wrong Hubturd

            Good description actually. I’ll be using that.

        • Chee Chalker

          I love Rush and (last I checked) I am a lady
          But I feel your pain!

          • L. Wrong Hubturd

            Hooray. You’re on my Christmas card list.

        • Ella Raitch

          Cute ittle girf facepalm…what’s not to like?

        • Miss Tia

          i love rush!!

          • L. Wrong Hubturd

            Will you marry me, Miss Tia?

            • Miss Tia

              Sure L Wrong! We gotta serve shortbread at the reception! 🙂

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              Nothing but the finest….Walkers! A giant shortbread shaped cake. With his and hers Xenu on top.

            • Miss Tia

              They do make those pie shaped pieces!! Now I gotta get some Walkers tomorrow!! Nom nom nom!!

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              I prefer those over the standard brick style. Better to dip into ice cream.

            • Miss Tia

              Or melted chocolate!!

        • EmmaDaoust

          I upvoted Rush. I see Geddy here in Toronto.

          • L. Wrong Hubturd

            Just kind of while walking around? Cool! I’ve only ever seen Carrot Top here in Orlando.

            • EmmaDaoust

              The municipal parking garage in Yorkville. Where I used to work. Decent bloke.

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              Their old studio, Le Studio, has been up for sale. Only like $20,000! Man, that’s tempting.”

              http://www.avclub.com/article/rushs-abbey-road-goes-sale-18000-220668

            • EmmaDaoust

              Okay, I’ll go halvesies with ya. Then we can put on a show to fundraise for the reno job. If Mickey and Judy can do it, why can’t we.

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              Perfect. We can save a lot of money since I’ll be doing the install of all the new gear. I almost forgot…..that’ll cost us about $1M….still cool?

            • EmmaDaoust

              We can just get some dough by regging Davey.

            • EmmaDaoust

              Whoo. Carrot Top. Goes with the Pumpkins and Sweet Potatoes Dodo has on offer.

    • EmmaDaoust

      love ya, Neil!

  • noseinabk
    • Jimmy3

      Joining Ms. Sunny Fu, the chief executive of the Church, was Dr. Oliver Hseuh, Executive Director of the Church of Scientology Kaohsiung. When reached for comment on the Church of Scientology Kaohsiung, Scientology fan Jimmy3 responded, “God bless you,” and offered a handkerchief.

    • salin

      About those VM they are waxing about. On Mike Rinder’s blog today there are internal progress on one of the orgs fundraising. In the notes – repeatedly – they stress that folks should record ANY instant that they apply Dianetics Tech in their life as VM points. Let that sink in.

      I didn’t respond to a negative comment… tech applied… VM points earned. Or that is my interpretation of how that would be applied. Is that really how alleged ‘first responders’ are trained? Holymoly. On so many levels in so many areas – these folks are just ignorantly dangerous.

  • Nat-leficent

    f5

    • Observer

      Pobre Nilda

  • beauty for ashes

    I seriously can’t get over how different Camilla looks. If she was selling something, I would buy it!

    • flyonthewall

      She is selling something, it’s freedom. Did you hear that just now? That was your brain popping bc of my sheer awesomeness.

      • beauty for ashes

        Bloop! **brain pop*

  • David E Love

    Hope Tony arrived early like he did in Seattle. The Vancouver event is on W. Broadway, and rush hour traffic is a mess at times.

    • David E Love

      Nice location 🙂

  • Cars

    And now Lawrence Wright has tweeted about being followed by CoS journalist/PI. He and Alex Gibney are both being very vocal about being harassed by CoS today – as they should.

    https://twitter.com/lawrence_wright/status/648985565631791104

    • Vaquera

      Thank you for keeping us in the loop, Cars.

      • Cars

        As long as we don’t get trolled by Dan Luzadder again tonight AND I don’t fall for it again… 😉

        • Vaquera

          I must have missed something?

          • Miss Tia

            someone logged in with that disqus name…..lulz were had….

          • L. Wrong Hubturd

            You were too busy chatting up television stars at the local watering hole.

            • Vaquera

              Yeah, I hate it when that happens.

    • Vaquera

      Makes one think about everything Tony has had/is having thrown at him, but doesn’t broadcast.

      • Miss Tia

        It’s great Wright & Gibney are broadcasting this. Tony’s posted before, in the hacking story, he doesn’t like to be ‘a part’ of the story and that’s very respectable and understandable.

        • Vaquera

          Yep. I assumed everyone knew that. I should have been more explanatory.

          • Miss Tia

            I understood what you meant, but I only mentioned that for people who might not know who were reading the comments. They can go find that article, I think last month or the month before. Of course Tony is in Going Clear mentioning them turning up at his mother’s house.

            We can speak in ‘shorthand’ but sometimes, especially with new bunkerites coming in, it’s good to go in detail. And/or my allergies might have clouded my brain! 😀

            • Vaquera

              You did good. 🙂

            • Miss Tia

              Thanks!! You did too! 🙂

      • Kestrel

        One can only imagine what it’s been like for him all these years. I think Gibney and Wright have their own reasons for making it known publicly. Perhaps a reminder that a not-for-profit is using tax-free money for a project outside the scope of their “religion.”

        • Miss Tia

          They are speaking out about their tax free status. This is excellent evidence to question that.

    • Observer

      His name should be Dan Loseadder. Because he’s a loser.

      • Ella Raitch

        I like to think of him as a Lulz-adder

        • L. Wrong Hubturd

          I have a hard time NOT saying it like that in my head.

          • stanrogers

            I do. And I have trouble with the real name. It’s a Rowan Atkinson thing.

    • Cars

      Photo of Dan Luzadder.

    • Dan Luzadder

      If y’all my name three times, I have to appear. Remember: Forewarned is four armed.

      http://www.scrubly.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/june20_11.jpg

      • Miss Tia

        Please don’t trip while trying to disqus and follow Mr. Wright at the same time!!

      • L. Wrong Hubturd

        Paging Cars……Cars, please come to Bunker courtesy phone. There’s a gentleman visitor for you.

      • QbirdSP

        From Freedumb mag: Colorado-based writer and investigative reporter Dan Luzadder shared a Pulitzer Prize for General Local Reporting and is a member of the Scripps Howard Journalism Hall of Fame.

        So you shared a prize—-Question: with who & for what?

        • Miss Tia

          IIRC it was in the mid-80s in Indiana? Could have the location wrong. I asked Mr. Google the other day but now I forgot.

          • QbirdSP

            Mr.Google ain’t talking to me today – I keep c/p’ing info in but no gd info comin’ out to me.

            • Miss Tia

              sometimes mr. google is cranky!!

        • noseinabk

          “And then there’s Dan, Dan Luzadder. Even with a Pulitzer on his résumé–he won it along with others at the Ft. Wayne News Sentinel in 1983 for covering a flood–Luzadder, 54, has shot only job search air balls since Interactive Week vanished along with his investigative writing job. Though he’s found enviable freelance work, like covering the Kobe Bryant case for New York’s Daily News, his unemployment is never far from his mind, nor is the fear that accompanies it.”

          http://ajrarchive.org/Article.asp?id=3433

          • QbirdSP

            In 1983, the The News-Sentinel was awarded a Pulitzer Prize for “its courageous and resourceful coverage of a devastating flood in March 1982”. The whole newspaper got the Pulitzer.

            • noseinabk

              I almost feel sorry for him but he and John Sugg know exactly what they were getting into and that makes them both morally bankrupt IMO.

            • Chee Chalker

              Maybe that is why Lulzadder does a shitty job…he’s doing it on purpose to help bring scorn and humiliation upon SOB
              That’s my new theory! If you have to work for a $hithead, make sure he looks like a $hithead

            • noseinabk

              Oh yea. Kinda like Tommy Davis played it. 😉

            • MM

              “The whole newspaper got the Pulitzer.”

              Just a thought that came to mind: maybe that’s the same procedure how Hubbard ‘awarded himself’ some of those war medals and ribbons?

  • If you’re an OT VII, why are you holding that frame with your hands?

    • Miss Tia

      Cuz they can’t levitate things in front of those less than OTVII!!

  • Dan Luzadder

    I’d like to take this occasion to correct what is apparently a common misconception about my professional activities. I am not, repeat am not, spying on Alex Gibney or Lawrence Wright. I do, however, from time to time, navigate a motor vehicle that is traveling concurrently on a course which is being driven by one of the above named parties, travel on an airplane to a city where one of them is appearing, and/or find myself, through sheer coincidence, attending events that are also being attended by one or both of them.

    This is simply because it’s a small world, after all, and my activities should not be misconstrued as following, investigating, stalking, or spying on either of those persons. I simply don’t do that, in the same way that I don’t work for Scientology.

    • Miss Tia

      Right…..you probably work for an attorney, who would by coincidence have some connection to scientology. We know the score Danny boy!!

      And hell, I run into people ALL THE TIME around here, cuz it’s a small world! Just today the Queen was around for tea. Oh wait….

    • Hey, pumpkin.

      • Miss Tia

        Wait, I thought it was Jeb saying pumkin? Though tis the season for pumpkin! 🙂

      • Dan Luzadder

        Howdy, cute stuff. You are such a flirt!

    • QbirdSP

      How long did you work with The News-Sentinel?

    • what’suppressive

      It’s not like you’re alone in your following of Lawrence. There’s like 1900 people following him…..including me.

      • L. Wrong Hubturd

        You’re off by at least an order of magnitude.

        • what’suppressive

          Oh yeah, more zeros needed at least.

    • Miss Tia

      Ever stop to think who’s following YOU? Scientology usually always has a spy following the spy to ensure they’re doing their job. See that guy behind you? No, not that one, the other one. Yeah him, think that’s him? Keep looking over your shoulder.

      • phoebequeen

        Ssshhh. I gots my sunglasses on. I think he can’t see me.

        • Miss Tia

          You might wanna take ’em off in the dark theater—doesn’t look right! 😉

          • phoebequeen

            Ow, bumped into the wall. I think you are right. Ooomph. So bright up in here!

  • flyonthewall

    *my best radio voice* This one is going out to all those shoopers out there in Bunkerland. Obs, Mark, Sid, Shoopz and all the rest. You know who you are. Keep on enturbulatin’ ya’ll. We need a clambake up in here, I’m gettin’ huungry. Love you.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vaN01VLYSQ

    • all the rest

      Thanks

      • Miss Tia

        whoa, you changed your name!

        • EmmaDaoust

          whoa indeed!

          • Miss Tia

            if she changed her pix we’d be REALLY confused!!

            • EmmaDaoust

              mos def

            • richelieu jr

              @miss_tia:disqus : Were you the person who contacted me
              off-list for the continuation of my comic-book story last week? IF so:
              You sent the wrong address! Please try again!

            • Miss Tia

              No, that wasn’t me, but now I wish I had seen your comic book story last week!! I must have missed that!!

        • all the rest

          Just for a little bit to mess with Fly. I’ll change it back in a minute 😉

          • Miss Tia

            Ah—‘got it’ now!!! 🙂 Least you didn’t make it flyonthewall4.0 😉

          • Miss Tia

            the first season of gilligan’s island the professor and mary ann were “and the rest” in the theme song……

            • Nat-leficent

              And they’re the BESTcastaways

            • Miss Tia

              EXACTLY!!

      • flyonthewall

        Idk what you’re talking about. You’re up there. You’ve always been up there.

        • all the rest

          Nice try, I has screenshot. F5

          • flyonthewall

            That’s obviously a doctored screenshot. Nice try though

            • all the rest

              Well, I’m no shooper so . . .
              http://t.qkme.me/3pyo9m.jpg

            • flyonthewall

              *eyeroll* Nite 🙂

            • all the rest

              I’m just messing with ya, Fly guy!

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              Bro, you just eyerolled AFTER missing her in the comment? Bad, Fly! Go to your flypaper and stick there for a while.

    • EmmaDaoust
  • 29 minutes. Go Vancouver!

    • Miss Tia

      AND we got the recommended hearts over 250!!!

      • salin

        Maybe the record, can become the new normal. Probably will take more reminders for some time before it is a new normal, but if that brings some casual readers via disqus recommendations – it is worth the effort. Thanks for promoting this effort, and this attention to the Bunker. At 9:40 pm EST = 263!

        • Miss Tia

          YES!!! It needs to be the NEW NORMAL!! We’ve shown it’s possible! It takes less than a second, DO EEET!!! 😀

      • skiesareblue

        268 right now….!

  • EmmaDaoust

    ^^^^^ heart light power ^^^^^

  • L. Wrong Hubturd

    Gawker has an article today about 5 scariest modern cults. Scio did not make their list, but is mentioned in the comments.

    http://io9.com/the-5-scariest-cults-in-modern-history-1733521100

    • Kim O’Brien

      cross fit LOL

      • L. Wrong Hubturd

        IKR? They’re everywhere here now. Out there too?

        • Kim O’Brien

          i can srsly throw a beer bottle at one ..right at the end of my block . I went for a good while …then realized i was old enough to be EVERYONES mother . I started telling ppl i was going to be 50 so they would be like ..” NO WAY !!! YOU LOOK AMAZING !!!”

          ugh

    • skiesareblue

      I started reading, but I need to get to sleep tonight…that’s really gruesome!

      • L. Wrong Hubturd

        Just skip to the comments for Scio and lulz.

        • skiesareblue

          Ok

        • skiesareblue

          Much better!

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      Scientology misses out on being all that scary because it is, well, so tiny any more…

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      Or… they weren’t included because the article is about “modern” cults…!

    • Ella Raitch

      So downstat

  • skiesareblue

    O/T. Sometimes during the course of the day when returning to the Bunker, I notice that my upvotes have disappeared. (This is on the iPad… Doesn’t happen on the ‘Puter). Has this happened to anyone else?

    • Kay

      Yes I’ve had upvotes disappear as well as some of my posts. I thought it was just me.

      • skiesareblue

        Are you on a tablet?

        • Kay

          I’m on a Mac Notebook.

    • salin

      Yep. Only on the IPad, not on the laptop or regular computer.

    • noseinabk

      Yes. Sometimes they are gone when I refresh the page and I forget who I already up-voted.

    • Sandy

      yes edit – on my Chromebook

    • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

      Happens on my Android phone sometimes, too.

    • Lurkness

      Have lost upvotes and have also had the situation where the upvote is no longer highlighted in blue but still listed as upvoting when you click the upvote.

  • Lurkness

    Uh-oh is the suburb to the North letting us down? No Bunker Blogging Correspondent in Vancouver? Disappoint.

    ETA maybe they don’t have wifi yet. Nothing from the Proprietor either.

    • Kestrel

      Maybe the Canadians are just too polite to be working their devices while Tony is speaking.

      • Dave In Ajax

        we don’t get internet until next year 🙁

      • EmmaDaoust

        I’m sorry. Once again, I apologize on behalf of Eastern Canada, for the shortcomings of those laid-back West-Coasters.

        • Kestrel

          That, too. Everyone I’ve met from Vancouver were great, if laid-back, people.

          • EmmaDaoust

            I have family and friends out there. Thank you. 🙂

      • Kay

        Yes Canadians are probably too polite to blog whilst Tony is pontificating: visual aids below

    • Kim O’Brien

      they are getting great universal healthcare and paid maternity leave . Bastards ; : LOL

    • skiesareblue

      That is odd because Tony always checks in. Any second, now…….

      • Miss Tia

        would being in another country affect a data plan? (i have no clue about those things…..)…..if it did and there’s no wifi there, that might explain it…..

        or, they might have been having a great time before the talk! 🙂

        • Lurkness

          No, wifi works up there without charge to your data plan. Phones also work seamlessly with the data plans too in my experience there and elsewhere in the great white north from coast to coast. Vancouver is a favorite City. It is gorgeous and great peoples (except when it comes to photo or blog updates).

          • Miss Tia

            thank you!!!! i am truly clueless about those things! so we’ll go with the other option—-having a great time! 🙂

        • skiesareblue

          Now that you mention it, in Toronto I think Tony had to piggy-back on someone else’s connection. Vaq- please verify, you are more with it on these matters than I am.

  • Hey, Canadians, have a drink or two and hit us with some live blogging, please!

    • L. Wrong Hubturd

      You needy, bro? Have hug instead. (F5)

    • daisy

      It is Vancouver , it is a joint or two and forgetting why they are there. Is it any wonder why I love my country

  • Sid

    You guys crack me up. Having a book signing in Canada at a place they serve beer and expecting live blogging. Too funny.

  • Jimmy3

    **** LIVE FROM BRITISH COLUMBIA ****

    • Observer

      Oh, now you’re going to do it.

      • Jimmy3

        I am a Canadian prison. The bars are made of antlers and pleasant smiles

        Please vouch for me please

        • Kay

          Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy…did you try crossing the border with undeclared bear spray again? tsk tsk.

        • Miss Tia

          You should wait for the breakfast poutine and molson!

        • Observer

          Call Vaquera. She owes you a favor.

          • Vaquera

            I’m waiting by the phone.

        • Vaquera

          You know I told you I would bail you out anytime you needed it.

        • daisy

          My neighbour is a Mountie, he will rescue you. It should only take a couple of weeks by horseback

  • Jimmy3

    I have been detained at the border. One of their meese smelled something suspicious in my backpack

    • Miss Tia

      So you’re locked out? 😉

      • Observer

        Haha!

      • David E Love

        Canada no lock-out our Southern neighbours, just bring American $$$

        • Miss Tia

          At the Cleveland event Jimmy assisted Vaquera when she got locked out from the event room.

          • Vaquera

            Jimmy3 is my hero.

            • Robert Eckert

              I just wanted to hug him and squeeze him and call him George. Which was odd, because I know his name is Jimmy.

    • Tell ’em you got PBR, will trade for Cuban cigars.

    • QbirdSP
  • David E Love

    (F6) in Vancouver 😉

    https://youtu.be/V2f-MZ2HRHQ

  • Jimmy3

    This guy wi a Ranger Rick hat is asking lots questions

    • Miss Tia

      Since you probably don’t speak Canadian, just YELL ALL YOUR ANSWERS IN ENGLISH.

  • Jimmy3

    I a. Don live blorgging for today they bought in the mountys

  • Ella Raitch

    If no one live blogs Vancouver bunkeroos have to buy a round…that’s the rule innit?

    • daisy

      Do not look at me, I am an uptight Easterner, you must have sensed that about me.

      • EmmaDaoust

        about as uptight as a Newfoundlander

        • skiesareblue

          Whatever that means..!

          • Missionary Kid

            Newfies, if I understand it, are pretty relaxed. Correct me if I’m wrong.

            • daisy

              Your not.

          • EmmaDaoust

            is oxymoron

        • daisy

          Only a Canadian would find that hilarious, and I do.

          • EmmaDaoust

            Daisy! I left you my number, write it down!

            • daisy

              Done, I will call tomorrow. Sorry didn’t see it til a few minutes ago.

            • EmmaDaoust

              yay!

    • David E Love

      🙂

    • Lurkness

      Good rule and I volunteer to go to Vancouver to collect. Love it there.

  • skiesareblue

    What is the record number of Red Hearts?

    • Miss Tia

      Dunno, but EVERY DAY NOW, we gotta get to at least 250!! 🙂

    • salin

      Don’t know the answer. I think hitting 200 has been a big deal. 27i seems a really big deal. A big part of it is how many people check in but don’t even thiink about the recommend (I know I have done this – regardless of how engrossing Tony;s post for the day. Not meant to be a slight, just an oversight.

  • Sid

    Since Canada is a bi-lingual country the live blogging will be done over on the french Bunker.

    • Nat-leficent

      Infinite Complacency?

      • Sid

        Infinie complaisance.

        • EmmaDaoust

          Enfin croissants

          • Sid

            Exactement.

          • Sandy

            serious question. Do most Canadian kids take French as a second language in school?

            • EmmaDaoust

              I honestly don’t know anymore, especially about the ROC (rest of Canada ie. not Quebec). I grew up in Montreal, so it was compulsory. You were lucky, though, to get into a French immersion class or school (60s, 70s).

            • Sandy

              Interesting – I took 3 yrs in high school, but it didn’t “take” – not something you can use in Minnesota!

            • EmmaDaoust

              That’s the key about learning another language – you absolutely must use it. I moved to Toronto from Montreal in 1978 after graduating high school. Everyone always asks – so are you bilingual? And sadly, I’m not. I never became fully comfortable with it, and lost much of it moving here. The irony is that my dad was fluently bilingual having had Francophone parents.

            • daisy

              I used to know ASL but because I do not use it daily, you lose it,

            • daisy

              In the Western provinces it is not mandatory, but offer French Immersion schools as a choice. Public schools offer French courses as an option from middle school to high school It is strongly recommended as you cannot get any kind of Governmental job unless you are bilingual

            • Sandy

              Makes sense. My sister got her management position straight out of college in Tucson cuz she was fluid in Spanish (even tho she was pure Minnesotan – just pure luck in her college choices)

            • daisy

              You can get some govt. jobs if they are aboriginal speaking, and English ,in all provinces except Quebec, still have to be French Speaking. I barely speak English

            • Sandy

              So interesting

            • daisy

              That is funny because all retired Canadians move to Florida ( usually over the winter )

  • skiesareblue

    Oooooo just flew from 268 to 271. Awesome.

  • TexasBroad

    Hello?

    • Si, Madam. Silvuple.

      • Dave In Ajax

        nice spelling lol

        • Sid

          True. A cool little mix of Spanish and French sort of phonetically-ish.

    • Ella Raitch

      ….is it me you’re looking for?

  • Kay

    I’m soooo bored……I had a root canal today and that was more interesting than waiting for this blogging to start. (you would think the pain pills my dentist gave me would liven up my night but noooo……)

    • TexasBroad

      Ooooh – sorry about that.

      • Kay

        Thx…I swear he did the wrong tooth, it seems to be worse than it was. Ouch

        • EmmaDaoust

          oww I know this feeling many times

    • skiesareblue

      I can feel their frustration at not being able to connect. They would if they could, trust me!

      • Kay

        I’m sure that’s true, I’m just being impatient……(drumming my fingers on the table repetitively)

        • Ella Raitch

          How about someone goes and copies CherryPitz’ posts from yesterday at regular intervials and we can all pretend its stuff we haven’t heard before?

          • EmmaDaoust

            Somebody give this woman a raise!

          • CherryPitz

            I am a 3 Hour Drive from Vancouver. Maybe I can get there in time to Live blog.

            • Kay

              Wow……

          • Kay

            🙂

        • EmmaDaoust

          As someone who worked in the service industry, I can tell you that that is extremely annoying and counter (ha) productive. 🙂

          • Kay

            LOL !!

            • EmmaDaoust

              My cousin was doing it in a store the other day and I almost slapped her hand.

            • Kay

              That’s funny !! Actually when I get anxious I chew the erasers off of pencils but since my tooth hurts tonight that’s not going to work.

    • Nat-leficent
      • Kay

        Aha…I shall try this.

      • Kay

        OK….I did it. That was kind of fun !

  • Baby

    Wah, Wah.. I want to hang out.. Just walked in the door.. sigh.. long day and I’m going to bed..Love you all xo baby. Computer off.. Night all..

    • Vaquera

      Hi Baby. Bye Baby. Xo

    • Jimmy3

      <3

      • what’suppressive

        Bro my teams in the AFL Grand Final on Saturday, 100,000 people at the MCG, I guess it’s starts at midnight your time on Friday. Have a squizz if you can.

        West Coast Baby.

        • Jimmy3

          Is it broadcasted in America or live streamed?

          • what’suppressive

            Probably both definitely streamed, I’ll see if I can find you a link.

          • what’suppressive

            ESPN has it.

            • Jimmy3

              I’ll check it out, thx

        • Unex Skcus

          Good luck with the Eagles! As a New South Welshman, I’m struggling between the 2 Qld teams for the NRL Grand Final the next day.

          • what’suppressive

            Thanks Unex. I think we’ll go okay. I go for the Sharkies in the NRL so NO JOY THERE.

            • Unex Skcus

              Tigers fella myself… but keeping kinda quiet about that! 🙂 Several Sharks fans in our little country village – Beechwood.

    • salin

      xo Baby.

    • Miss Tia

      hi, bye, night, love ya!

    • Nat-leficent
      • Baby

        Nattttttttttt… awww my heart is singing..Just a beautiful little baby girl..I want to just pick her up and sqqqqqqqqueese.. how precious. thanks honi

    • Sibs

      Goodnight, Baby!

  • Sid

    News headline tomorrow morning will read:

    While the United States was distracted waiting for a live blog from Canada the Canadians invaded their country. The good news is they didn’t like our beer and just went home.

    • edge

      Canadians airdrop poutine all over America. Americans too full of cheese kurds to fight back.

      • Sid

        CNN was asked to whey in on this news.

        • daisy

          No whey! I am sorry, I am just so upset about the live blogging thing ,now I embarrassed about the cheezey joke.

      • Robert Eckert

        After the success of that airdrop, the ground troops were just gravy.

    • noseinabk

      And later apologized in a rap song.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvBhFMgcZL0

      • Sid

        Love it.

        • daisy

          Sid are you Canadian ?

          • Sid

            I am originally, yes.

      • daisy

        Loved it.

    • Kay

      giggle

    • villagedianne

      Canada, endangering us from the north:

      https://youtu.be/44bT3S3Rx5I

  • Miss Tia

    I would love to get up tomorrow and see the recommended heart at 300—can we do it?? I know we can!!! Come on!!! It doesn’t hurt to hit ‘recommended’!! ‘night all, gonna try to get up tomorrow to run a couple errands before i try to see Wingfoot One around noon when she leaves for Florida 🙁 Akron will be totally blimpless after tomorrow….there oughtta be a law!!!

    a new one is being built at wingfoot lake and will tested next spring/summer and that one goes to california….akron doesn’t get it’s own blimp til 2017! BLIMP DROUGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

    • aquaclara

      A blimp drought! This climate change stuff makes me sad!

      • Miss Tia

        I know!!! I wonder if Al Gore could fix this? 😉

  • Fink Jonas

    Once you clear how long do you stay clear?

    • Missionary Kid

      Once clear, you stay clear until $cientology needs more money.

      • Dave In Ajax

        ain’t that the truth, who can we send to the rpf sales are down

        • Missionary Kid

          The reason sales are down is Davy Mismanage, but, being COB, he’s never wrong. He deserves to be in the rpf for his fuck ups and footbullets, but, thank goodness he’s not, because he’s accelerating the demise of $cientology.

          If DM was in rpf, $cientology would survive longer.

    • Sid

      Can we use the new math to figure this one out?

    • Till your Starbucks is hot.

      • David E Love

        Till you’re a Pre-Clear again doing second round of Objectives and Visa is Maxed out…

        • Sid

          Of course if you give your Visa to the reg he’ll be able to get your limit increased.

          • PickAnotherID

            And your car repossessed, your house foreclosed on, and help with the welfare application while your signing up to become staff.

    • QbirdSP

      That would be a good question to ask a ‘clear’ — if you can find one.

    • what’suppressive

      ” SHOW ME A MOTHERFUCKING CLEAR, SHOW ME ONE MOTHERFUCKING CLEAR”
      Jason Beghe.

  • Kay

    Found a picture in front of the Ontario org….it’s not Vancouver but hey it’s in the same continent.

    • Sid

      That’s not exactly the Org. Might be where they wanted to put a Narconon. David Love would know. That young man’s father is still in Scientology and disconnected I believe.

      • Kay

        Really? That’s very interesting…I found it by googling “Canadian Scientology” and the caption said “Org site in Ontario.” Your knowledge of it is much more interesting.

        • EmmaDaoust

          There are 2 locations that were in play. They purchased the former Hockley Valley Golf Club, with renovations planned. They were later trying to purchase another nearby property to convert to a Narconon, but were defeated by local residents. Orangeville/Hockley Valley is about an hour north of Toronto.

          • Kay

            Yeah for the local residents !!!!!! Did they ever renovate the Valley Golf Club, or is it sitting fallow like so many scientology facilities?

            • David E Love

              CANADA COS in BROKE … probably still paying off the $7 million dollar interest free loan for legal/court costs when the COS in Toronto was convicted of Breach of Public Trust. AND, with no Narconon cash cows, their screwed 🙂 🙂 🙂

            • Kay

              Good….they deserve it.

        • David E Love

          When Adam’s Mom passed away, I published a TRIBUTE VIDEO to her::::: “May 4, 2013 — Denise Byrne passed away the evening of Friday April 26th, with her Son Adam Holland and his sister Laura at her bedside. Also present were many of her good friends, including her family doctor of 17 years. Denise was a true hero in the fight for human rights and freedoms; especially those violated by Scientology.”

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqibffR-FVs

          • daisy

            Beautiful tribute

      • Kay

        How sad for that kid….I just HATE that.

        • David E Love

          Very sad…. His name is Adam Holland and I protested with him in Toronto and Montreal. Sparrow was at the Montreal one with us. His Dad has disconnected, and his Mom passed away a year or so ago 🙁

          • Kay

            Oh geez….that’s HORRIBLE. Makes me sooo sad, poor kid is essentially orphaned.

          • daisy

            Was mom still in when she died? I hate them so much. Never mind, answered down thread

            • David E Love

              No, she was a vocal critic and protested with me at the openung of the Cambridge Ideal Org …

            • David E Love

              Here is Adam in Montreal::::>>>

        • David E Love
          • Kay

            Wow now I’m glad I posted that picture erroneously as I know who this kid actually is and what went on with him. Thank you.

          • Kay

            This gives me the sads……watched it again.

      • David E Love

        Adam Holland, a 22-year-old Toronto man who was raised in the church, is concerned the rural landscape will make leaving a difficult task for anyone who chooses to abandon the controversial religion, as he did.

        http://www.orangeville.com/news-story/1486529-resort-to-become-scientology-retreat/

    • EmmaDaoust
      • Kay

        That’s very interesting as well !

  • Ella Raitch

    Gerry Armstrong’s cone of magnificence has nixed the wifi

    • salin

      Was he going to attend (i missed that.) That would be amazing for attendees.

      I could be wrong, but isn’t he living far to the east of Vancouver? I wouldn’t be to quick to put our frustration at the lack of communication from Vancuver on Gerry Armstrong’s back.

  • Vaquera

    Moles and trolls, moles and trolls.

    • Kay

      Kibbles and bits, bits and kibbles. Sorry, couldn’t resist.

  • salin
    • CherryPitz

      Love this song. Saw them open for the Rolling Stones in…wait for it…Vancouver!!!

      • Observer

        I saw AC/DC in Vancouver in 1980

        • what’suppressive

          Bon Scott on vocals?

          • jazzlover

            Had to have been Brian Johnson.

          • Observer

            No, unfortunately. It was in July, five months after Bon died. IIRC it was their second concert with Brian.

      • salin

        Cool synchronicity.

        • CherryPitz
          • salin

            Can’t claim any synchronicity… but caught them at the no longer existing Arena in Indianpolis.

    • jazzlover

      This is still one bad ass song all these years later. Always makes me ask the question: “Gun ‘n Roses who?” 🙂

  • skiesareblue

    Going to bed…

    I will have minimal internet, if any, in the next few days. Cold Turkey for my Bunker addiction. Tremours have already begun. See you all later. xo

    • salin

      Look forward to seeing you on the other side… of the cold turkey period. *waves*

    • EmmaDaoust

      Happy sailing, happy campers!

    • Kay

      Hang in there !

  • Cheers to Devin Townsend in Vancouver, British Columbia, my fave Canadian metal artist.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3f20L0msLsM

  • romanesco

    This is for CherryPitz and David E. Love, who spoiled us last night.
    https://youtu.be/barWV7RWkq0

    • CherryPitz

      Awww, that is so kind.

      • romanesco

        Not really, just grateful for what I get when I can get it.

  • Did Tony even made it to Vancouver? Anyone? Eh?!

    • daisy

      That is the spirit Dodo, using our quaint eh .

    • Snippy_X

      He got there I think, but earlier people were saying that in Canada, as a general rule, they can’t mix beer and wifi, so I don’t know if he’s been heard from at all. If he wasn’t in Canada, he might be considered MIA.

  • CherryPitz

    Okay so I will share a little more from last night. During the after meeting chat with Tony, Tony asked Tom DeVocht what it was like going to the Emmy awards. Tom was all humble about the whole thing. He said that Alex asked him to go onstage with the group if they won any awards. The idea of this made Tom nervous so he said that he retreated to the bar area when it came time to announce the awards. As we all know Going Clear won 3 major awards at that Emmy ceremony. It was exciting to hear about all of this. And to tell you the truth when I was having trouble taking a photo of Tony wearing his Freedom Medal of Blogging Tom tried to help me with my Kindle. I will never wash my Kindle again.

    • Ella Raitch

      Cool story

    • aquaclara

      Hey, thank you so much for the on-the-scenes reporting. I stayed up way too late (east coast) and enjoyed every minute of it. This is a great story, too. Tom DeVocht seems like the nicest of guys.

  • Sergeant Pepper

    Xenu forgive me, I fed the trolls today. And some yesterday. I think it’s because I miss Eclipse-Girl. Sunday clouds overwhelmed one of my dearest minor passions: sharing a moon gaze with a distant compatriot. There’s my ruin, I’m lunar.

    • Robert Eckert

      As long as you’re not lunatic

      • Missionary Kid

        Or a $cientologist.

    • QbirdSP

      Lessons in futility I imagine, Sarge. You must be talking to elle & fine fettle…
      those 2 fine friendly, perceptive, kind and caring, Homo Novi! The EPs of Scn., Inc. processing. They are always, always, superior beings, upstat, in-ethics, up-toned, hard-working Operating Thetans, dontchaknow.

      You, on the other hand, are a lowly wog, down-toned, 1.1, downstat, no case gain, rock-slammer, stage 4, ethics bait, ethics particle, theetie weetie, dumbass biased critic — you’re a suppressive person, a liar, a criminal.
      They easily label you & stick you with these words.
      They poke & prod.
      They ‘see you’ for what you are – a degraded being that should “be disposed of, quietly and without sorrow.”

      And then! They wonder, wonder, why oh why, do people hate on scientology?

      They will never get it. They don’t want to. They ‘love’ the life they live. They owe all to Ron, mankind’s greatest fiend.
      They “go where the reads on the e-meter take” them. They hang onto the cans as if their lives are dependent on that & only that — they’re crushed by Thursday 2 pm b.s. stats. They’re addicted to LRH & by default DM. They are willfully blind.

      Pity the poor creatures that can see no way out from beneath Hubbard’s trap.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aafea943d6360aedcb8e88387b19d019e3fb0a6059354b7f33fa654793d9161e.jpg

      p.s. I miss E~girl too, but she will be back.

      • aquaclara

        Love this pic!

    • Juicer77

      None of my homemade puppy biscuits for you!
      Oh, ok, just one because your ears are so cute.
      Allright, two since your tail is so waggy.
      I give up…. come sit on the sofa with me.

      • Sergeant Pepper

        Roorrrrwww, this couch is comfy. More homemade puppy biscuits, please? **puppy hugs**

  • Kay

    Yoo hooooo…….Canada ???

  • David E Love

    I just phoned the Seven Dining Lounge and they do have Wi-Fi. Sounded busy and noisy there… Could be from the High-Test Beer or? 😉

  • Supper Powers

    The other night this person in New Zealand posted a letter he received from the CC in Hollywood. I reported it here. Now, here is his response.

  • Dave In Ajax

    scientologist Michael Pena on Jimmy Kimmel shortly, not that I expect anything

  • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

    While we’re waiting for a signal from Canada, please enjoy the poetic stylings of Jenna Elfman:

    https://instagram.com/p/8NOnhCvNIS/

    • Kay

      Well…..that’s all crap. She’s better off doing something like “Ode to an Equine”

    • daisy

      She should apply for Shermans job. Scientology celebrities are really paranoid, this is interchangeable as a Kerstie Alley tweet, utter nonsense

    • daisy

      Watch out Pan and Salin, you have competition. lol

      • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

        Ha! Yes, I guess this puts her in the Pan-theon.

        Sorry, you can all throw tomatoes at me now.

        • daisy

          Tomatoes busy getting audited.

    • Unex Skcus

      Probably called “Ode To My Middle Finger”?

    • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

      She also has a recent instagram post of her kid and dog. Cute kid, cute dog. Hashtag says:
      #BetterThanEmmys

      • daisy

        How would she know ?

        • Kay

          Laugh !!

      • ReallyMGM

        No horse?

        • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

          The horse got a restraining order.

          • $cnMonkeyNut$

            … (oops sorry, brain fade) original comment removed

            • sugarplumfairy

              Musta been a good one.. Good to see you!

            • $cnMonkeyNut$

              Unfortunately not, I misread the original comment-which meant the one I made was nonsense. D’oh!
              I’ve been in most days to read and recommend-but haven’t had much time to peruse the comments (I’ve been suffering from a chronic {but mild} case of RL intrusion, that has curtailed my commenting/upvoting activities. I will continue to take the medication, and hopefully full service will be resumed at some point in the not too distant future 🙂 )
              Good to see you too Fairy, hope you’re well.

            • sugarplumfairy

              I’m glad it’s mild..I’ll be thinking about you.. And praying hard for a remission..

  • Cars

    Just a few more recently sent out…

    https://twitter.com/alexgibneyfilm/status/649072541063974912

    Mike and Leah are tweeting each other more often lately. Sweet!
    https://twitter.com/MikeRinder/status/649037218531512320

    • daisy

      If only Gibney could get rid of assholes, instead of antholes,

    • Juicer77

      Delicious never-ending food source!

      • Juicer77

        (f5)

  • Canada reporting in!!

    Just got home from the event in Vancouver. It was such a HUGE pleasure to meet Tony in person. I also got to meet OOkpik, which was awesome. 😉

    Tony did a fabulous job taking the room through his journey as someone who reports on the cherch and also how he and Paulette first connected and what led to his deciding to write the book about her story. I am always so impressed with anyone’s ability to explain how cults work and what goes on behind the scenes in terms that those who haven’t been involved will be able to understand. Tony did a masterful job at this; he had us laughing and empathizing with Paulette, Monique Rathbun, Laura De Crescenzo and others.

    I was seated near several people who had never been in $cientology (or any other cult) and it was fascinating to hear why they were drawn to the subject.

    Not sure what else to say. It was a great evening and I am so happy Tony made it north of the 49th parallel at this end of the continent. I have my paperback copy of Miss Lovely now!! (Signed, natch. Huzzah!) Will be taking a photo with a majestic and scenic Vancouver back-drop very soon. (Before the rains come!) And will share it, of course.

    • Kay

      I will be looking forward photo. We haven’t heard much from Vancouver tonight so thanks for the recap !

    • Juicer77

      Great photo! 🙂 Looking forward to more!

    • aquaclara

      Nice! So glad you had a great time!

    • OOkpik

      Well done, Alexandra, and a charming photo too.

      • Thanks OOkpik!! It was so great to meet you last night. 😉

      • richelieu jr

        @disqus_9dkgvOMR0X:disqus: Were you the person who contacted me off-list for the continuation of my comic-book story last week? IF so: You sent the wrong address! Please try again!

        • OOkpik

          I am a bit late in finding your comment but sorry, it wasn’t me.
          P.S. Thanks for all your great posts.

          • richelieu jr

            You’re sweet,t hank you.

            But shit! I really wanted to help this person out, and it bounced back to me!

  • Unex Skcus

    OT: glad to see the wonderful PR that Co$ increasing generates:
    Is UBER the scientology of the business world?
    http://uberpeople.net/threads/is-uber-the-scientology-of-the-business-world.37666/

    • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

      Scientology, I’m starting to think you have a branding problem.

      • Cars
        • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

          Awesome. I love that they’re becoming more and more widely known as a walking punchline. And that people aren’t afraid to say it in public anymore. The internet–and now especially social media–really is their Waterloo, Vietnam and Armageddon rolled into one.

          • Juicer77

            XD
            Good Xenu, woman, are you up so early making coffee? 😉

            • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

              Ha! No, I was working, unfortunately. Actually, I’m not allowed to make the coffee in my house. I don’t do it right, it seems. Which is cool by me, because I’m fine having a servant boy. ; )

              How’s the bangers and mash? You adjusting to ex-pat life?

            • Juicer77

              Oh yes, cor blimey I do me shopping on the ‘igh street then toddle off for tea! 😉

            • 5 Feet Long and Luminous

              Your keyboard already has a nice accent. ; )

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    PHOTO CAPTION: – “Even the French know…”
    https://instagram.com/p/8OgaN0mdpe/?tagged=scientology

    • Ella Raitch

      Oh those French and their dunny art

    • richelieu jr

      “EVEN” the French? EVEN?

      We wrote the book on how to deal with those damn Scilons, folks. It is nearly illegal here (fingers crossed Belgium comes through). We were the first to convice LRH of fraud. The CoS just appealed their latest fraud convictions all the way to the European Court of Human Rights and lost.

      How about this:

      They would be history here if they hadn’t had a sudden, unexpected $ Billion+ infusion of cash in the early 90s when– Wait, which country was it that gave them tax-exemption again? I forget… Anyways, after that the President and Secretary of State started writing letters to France and Germany complaining about how mean we were being to the poor Scilons… After allt he religion had beeninvented in The Greatest Country in the World?
      #CleanUpYourOwnFUckingMess

      Suggested title: “Americans finally start to catch on to what the French courts decided in late ’60s–Scientology My Actually Be a Problem and not just ‘funny’.

      (second option (less on-topic, but funnier): “French flush message down to America”

      • Intergalactic Walrus

        Touché!

  • Newbie73

    Had a great time at the Vancouver event tonight. Tony is such an engaging speaker. So happy to meet the man who, despite travelling non-stop, always manages to bring us new stories every day (apparently a big story is coming tomorrow!). Too bad he ran out of books right before I sat down to purchase one for signing! The irony is I had purchased and read the book months ago but stupidly lent it out to a family member who lost it! Argggg!

    • aquaclara

      Ooh, a big story?! Tony is also good at dropping the odd teaser or two.

      Vancouver sounds like another fun event! Did you meet any fellow Bunkerites while you were there?

      • Newbie73

        I was a little shy and there with a friend who doesn’t quite understand the depths of my scientology watching interest. We sat for a while with Tony and a group of folks who sounded like they were most definitely bunkerites but I didn’t introduce myself officially. I am a long time lurker but never in.

        • aquaclara

          Lurking is great….posting is, too! Now, you’re in! I understand the shyness completely! I had the good fortune to meet several Bunkerites at the Going Clear event in NY, so when the book tour came around, well, we were like long list friends. But there were so many others I didn’t meet. Next time, next time….

          I’m also a never in, as many here are. Your comments and thoughts are as valued, so welcome, post often, and join in! I lurked for ages and ages, too. Started following this mess in 1975 or 1976, when Scientology landed in Clearwater, Florida, and have followed it ever since. But when I found the Village Voice, it was such an awesome thing, it intimidated me. Haha, funny in hindsight.

          So jump in, share your pet pics, and post as often as you like!. We still have lots of work to do.

          • Newbie73

            Thanks for the warm welcome Aquaclara!

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    Eduardo Galan posted this on Instagram:
    Caption – “Encuentre 3 diferencias” (find 3 differences)
    One big difference – only one of these creatures is dumb enough to join the CO$!
    https://instagram.com/p/8OaugTA680/?taken-by=eduardogalan

    • Juicer77

      *snort*

  • Always Amazed

    Click the heart… Let’s make it to 300 today.!

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    Instagram photo caption – “Matri de Juanda y Cris en el Freewinds!”
    Anyone know if they perform weddings on the Freewinds now? Is this something new?

    Duggan photo caption – “Aprendiendo de nuevos amigos!” (learning new friends)
    https://instagram.com/p/8PIseOyZpl/?taken-by=alejoariasa
    https://instagram.com/p/8PJHuAyZqE/?taken-by=alejoariasa

  • Supper Powers

    OT: In other cult news…

    John Cedars over at JW Survey received a DMCA takedown notice from the powers that be in the Watch Tower. Very similar shit Duggan and Wickstrom pulled with Tony. The vlog addresses a leaked letter that the JW powers that be had a tantrum over. The page has been de indexed. We are familiar with this tactic. If you’re so inclined to help him out, you can go to youtube and look for John Cedars and if you use the term “leaked”, click on that video to bring it back up to the top of searches.

    A friendly reminder that Chris Shelton did a nice interview with him comparing JW and Scientology, so he is a familiar ally.

    Hello there.

  • nommables

    We just made it back from Seattle! It ended up being almost 20 hours (almost 1,000 miles) round trip & worth every hour & mile! Thank you to Cherry Pitz for all the updates–Tony was awesome! No surprise there!

    • Juicer77

      Glad you are home safe. That’s Bunker dedication!

    • Ella Raitch

      A memorable road trip then

    • aquaclara

      That’s a great road trip! So glad you made it, and if course back safely, too.

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    PHOTO CAPTION – “Working at the #churchofscientology #scientology doing a bit of damp work and brickwork. It is also the home of l.Ron Hubbard”

    JEEZ, look at that ugly thing! LRon didn’t appear to have any taste whatsoever, did he?
    And soggy stones too! HA!.
    https://instagram.com/p/8Psix2muez/?tagged=scientology

    • Juicer77

      XD
      What’s damp work? Is the place moldy?

      • Eivol Ekdal

        Yes that is usually what that means.

      • richelieu jr

        Hopefully he didn’t mean ‘wet work’ in the espionage sense…

  • Jimmy3

    ♥️⬆️

  • OOkpik

    Tony, thanks for a great overview of story behind “The Unbreakable Miss Lovely” on the Vancouver leg of your book tour last night. It was a pleasure to finally meet you in person and hear you speak. Wishing you much success on the remainder of your tour.

    • Juicer77

      Wish I had been there to meet you!

      • OOkpik

        I’d have loved that. I always enjoy your insightful comments and sparkling repartee.

        • Juicer77

          *Blushes*

      • sugarplumfairy

        Ditto that..

        • OOkpik

          Aaw…thanks. It was a great evening. Wish you had been here too.

  • Pierrot

    *** RED X +–+ Reminder +–+ RED X *** Wednesday, 30 September 2015.

    Good morning Night Owls and Early Birds,

    Monday 28th: at long last, we got some results for Columbus but nobody else!
    Tuesday 29th: Boston scores a couple of hits and leads Columbus who scraped in.

    RedX tips & Complaints procedure are included in the google doc under the RedXTips tab.
    Flag the lies, whack a few bait & switch ads : https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1-Kvg78kCcvo5gL7UfPcmhmbsagTNtdj0y2LAiHVFrCU/pubhtml

    F5… Tri Fi by Hoon enhanced by DodoTheLaser for RedX, flickred by Aeger Primo https://www.flickr.com/photos/120371503@N05/15543300500/in/set-72157642802079293

    • salin

      Thank you for all you do in setting this up for the day Pierrot. Fantastic job!

      As you know I have been paying attention to Columbus. The number of ads in the past 2 days has dropped from nearly 40 to 12. Thanks to others who have helped project wipe Columbus ads out.

  • Mockingbird

    True-believer syndrome
    I found the following at Wikipedia. I will let you judge for yourself if it describes Independent Scientologists and freezoners.

    True-believer syndrome
    Terminology
    Coined by M. Lamar Keene (1976)
    Definition The condition of continuing to believe a paranormal event/phenomenon after it has been debunked
    Signature Belief continues without grounds or base
    True-believer syndrome is an informal or rhetorical term used by M. Lamar Keene in his 1976 book The Psychic Mafia. Keene used the term to refer to people who continued to believe in a paranormal event or phenomenon even after it had been proven to have been staged. Keene considered it to be a cognitive disorder, and regarded it as being a key factor in the success of many psychic mediums.
    The term “true believer” was used earlier by Eric Hoffer in his 1951 book The True Believer to describe the psychological roots of fanatical groups.

    Examples Raoul In his book The Psychic Mafia, Keene told of his partner, a psychicmedium named “Raoul” in the book. Some in their congregation still believed that Raoul was genuine even after he openly admitted that he was a fake. Keene wrote “I knew how easy it was to make people believe a lie, but I didn’t expect the same people, confronted with the lie, would choose it over the truth. … No amount of logic can shatter a faith consciously based on a lie.”
    Carlos According to The Skeptic’s Dictionary, an example of this syndrome is evidenced by an event in 1988 when stage magician James Randi, at the request of an Australian news program, coached stage performer José Alvarez to pretend he was channelling a two-thousand-year-old spirit named “Carlos”. Even after it was revealed to be a fictional character created by Randi and Alvarez, many people continued to believe that “Carlos” was real. Randi commented: “no amount of evidence, no matter how good it is or how much there is of it, is ever going to convince the true believer to the contrary.”
    Keech In the book When Prophecy Fails, Festinger and his colleagues observed a fringe group led by Marian Keech who believed that the world would be destroyed on December 21, 1954 and the true believers would be rescued by aliens on a spaceship to a fictional planet Clarion. When nothing happened, the group believed that their devotion convinced God to spare the world and they became even more feverish in proselytizing their belief. This is one of the first cases that led Festinger to form the theory of cognitive dissonance.

    Psychology In an article published in Skeptical Inquirer, psychologist Matthew J. Sharps and his colleagues analyze and dissect the psychology of True Believers and their behavior after the predicted apocalypse fails to happen. Using the 2012 Mayan apocalypse prophecy as example, and cited several other similar cases, Sharps contributes four psychological factors that compel these people to continue the belief (or even stronger belief) despite the conflicted reality.

    Subclinical dissociative tendencies: While not suffering from mental illness, people with subclinical dissociative tendencies have a higher inclination to experience disconnection with immediate physical reality and propensity to see highly improbable things with enhanced credulity. Such subclinical dissociation is usually associated with paranormal thinking.
    Cognitive dissonance: The more one invests in a belief, the more value one will place in this belief and, as a consequence, be more resistant to facts, evidence or reality that contradict this belief. Some of the True Believers in the Keech case in the example above had left their spouses, jobs and given up their possessions to prepare to board the alien spacecraft. When the world did not end, cognitive dissonance provided an enhancement of their beliefs and outlet for their heavy investment and discomfort in front of reality.
    Gestalt processing: In the continuum in human information processing, people with Gestalt processing will consider a concept without detailed analysis (as opposed to feature-intensive thinking) and accept the idea as a whole relatively uncritically. Sharps suggests a relationship between dissociative tendencies and gestalt processing. People who incline to believe paranormal activities will be more likely to credulously entertain the ancient Mayan prophecies whose details most people know little about.
    Availability heuristic: Under the mental shortcut of availability heuristic, people place more importance and give more weight to a belief when examples related to the idea are more readily recalled, most often because they are recent information and latest news. The information of Mayan prophecies has been abundantly available, especially in the media, before the expected apocalyptic date. People’s judgments tend to bias toward this latest news, particularly those with dissociative tendency toward supernatural and favor gestalt processing.

    • B4you

      There are different freezoners. Some of them are far out or advance and complex, others just having a good time with low expectations and some i would put in the placebo-zone. Any zone is better than LRH.
      There are many examples of what this text describes and belibers believes in Just Bieber 🙂

      • richelieu jr

        I agree on an individual level, but the problem (and honestly, in some ways it makes them the worst of all of them) is the continued attempts to white-wash history, police discourse and ABOVE ALL:

        Rehabilitate the image and name of LRH
        the nastiness is baked into the DNA of HUbbardism– IT will always breed control and Stalinistic control. IT must; It will also always make paranoid egomaniacs. It must.

        It is anything but harmless. At least Miscavige and minions are working to destroy Scientology and LRH.

        If someone wants to go jack off with their e-metre and waste away in a dark room playing hide and go seek with their BTs, why should I care?

    • B4you

      This is one of my old links, it describe almost the same thing using different stories and people.

      http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2011/03/denial-science-chris-mooney

    • richelieu jr

      Nice find, @mockingbird1:disqus ! Thanks!

  • Miss Tia

    YAS!!!! Recommended at 295! What a great thing to get up too!! Thanks y’all!!

    • B4you

      Amazing what you can achieve while at sleep 🙂

      • Miss Tia

        I know!! 🙂

  • Ella Raitch

    Last minute of comic relief before the story….from ESMB…if Scientology ran a restaurant

    http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?40512-If-Scientology-ran-a-restaurant

  • Always Amazed

    300 hearts! Rock on Bunker Bugs!

  • Missionary Kid

    DAVID MI$CAVIGE NICKNAMES 
    (*) (it’s supposed to look like a poodle’s …ermm… “kibble exit”). 
    (dic)tator tot
    LEADER OF ANONYMOUS 
    $lappy Mc$horty
    4′ 13”
    5-foot Honey Badger
    A most Heinous & Hyddeous (withal Minute) Villain**
    A person of dubious height
    a scotch-swilling, demented, back-stabbing, psychotic hobbit fuck 
    A.B. Davey (For Apple Box, which he needs to stand on so he can look like he has normal height)
    Abbot of Anger
    Administrator of Ecclesiastical Beatings Most Holy
    Admiral Assclown
    Angry Drunken Dwarf Jr. (The original was on Howard Stern)
    Angry Elf
    Angry Homunculus
    Angry Shrimp
    Ankle Biter
    Anti-Gulliver
    Apolocalyptic Dave
    Apple Box Davy
    Apple Box Socks Miscavige
    Area 51 (height in ft.& inches)
    Ass Captain
    ASSCAPT
    Asthmatic Dwarf
    Atilla the Shun
    Attila the Runt
    Baby Troll
    Babycorn 
    Babycorn COB
    Bag Of Crap Chairman Of the Board: BOCCOB
    Bally Llama
    Beloved Leader
    Big Bean
    Big Bean 2
    Big Being
    Big Burrito
    Big Flea
    Big lil One
    Big Mouthkavige 
    Big Thetan
    Big Top Slappy
    biggest little thetan
    Biggest Squirrell in the Gal-UX-ah
    biggest thetan in the universe
    Billion Year Asshole
    Bishop of Baloney
    Bishop of bullshit…
    Bitchcavige 
    bitty boots
    Bitty Miscaviage (also the name of his sister-in law: he’s the little bitty one)
    blab hearted midget 
    Black Heart MFCS
    Black-Hearted Squirrel Smasher
    Blackberry Pope
    Blackheart 
    Blackheart Dildo
    Blackheart Most Devious
    Blathering pompadoured nancyboy
    blow chunks
    Bog Dave Miscavige
    Boss Miscarriage
    Brilliant commander (snark)
    Bubba’s Ass Bitch
    C5-1 (Captain + height in ft & inches)
    Cabbage head
    Calamity of Brutality (COB)
    Caligula of $cientology
    Cancerous gnome
    Cap’n Lord Hubris
    Capo di tutti capi of all of Scientology’s tentacles
    Capt. Miscadick 
    Captain Baby Blackheart
    Captain Blackheart
    Captain Blackheart McSlavich
    Captain Blackheart, SS Division
    Captain Brazen Lair Pants on Fire
    Captain caveman.
    Captain Clam
    Captain Clamo
    Captain Crook
    Captain D. Mousetrapiege
    Captain Dastardly Motherf***er
    Captain Davey McRevenge-ige
    Captain Davey Mistreatage
    Captain David “he is NOT insane!” Miscavige 
    Captain David Mendacious
    Captain David Mistakevige
    Captain Death March 
    CAPTAIN Decomposing Meat 
    Captain Dickwad
    Captain Dildo Dave
    Captain Douchebag Dave
    Captain Douchenozzle Mcsucknuts 
    Captain Dungy Misleadervige
    Captain Five One (feet and inches)
    Captain Footbullet
    captain fucktard
    Captain Knee-High
    Captain Lilliput
    Captain Little Rodent
    Captain McBarmykins
    Captain McCabbage
    Captain McShortSquirt
    Captain Mesquinho
    Captain Mini-stabby
    Captain Miniature
    Captain Miscavige, Pope Homunculus I, Defender of the Absolute Certainty
    Captain Mischiefitch
    Captain Miskiewicz
    Captain Miss Scavenge 
    Captain MissedtheBoat
    Captain Misslappy
    Captain Munchkin
    Captain niblet (see niblet)
    Captain of a ship of fools
    Captain One Five Five (Centimeters)
    Captain Pain
    Captain Piece of Shit
    Captain Pissgums**
    Captain Pope
    Captain Pretentious
    Captain Puppeteer
    Captain Scary Shitface
    Captain Shortypants
    Captain Sixty-One (height in inches)
    Captain Tiny
    Captain Tiny Minitoons
    Captain Tiny Turd
    Captain Underoos 
    CaptainPope Miscavige
    Cardinal of Brutality
    Cardinal Sin
    Chairman Chingadera (chairman motherfucker)
    Chairman Mao Miscavige 
    Chairman Maocavige
    Chairman Miscavige
    Chairman Mousecage
    Chairman Mousecavige
    Chairman of the Bored Miscavage
    Chairman Of The Hoard
    Chairman of the Whores
    ChairMao Of the Bored
    Chairmidget of the Bored
    Chairmonkey of the Board
    Chastiser Of Beatings
    Chastiser of Bivalves
    Chastiser of Bivalves 
    Chef Miscavige
    Chicken Of the Board
    Chief Bug Squasher
    Chief Bullshit Shitter
    Chief Rabbi of Insidiousness
    Chief Sitting Bullshit 
    Chuckles the Silly Piggy
    chunk head
    chunks
    Chunky Head
    Chunky nuts
    Cider Stool Dave
    Clam Calamity
    Clam King
    Clam of God
    Clammaster
    ClamPope
    clown pope
    COB (chairman of the Brainwashed) 
    COB the KNOB
    Cobbers the Cruel. 
    Cobby
    Cobholio 
    Coblet
    COBmeister
    COBsr
    COBsucker
    CODpiece
    Cold and Devilishous
    Colonel Mustard 
    Command Intention Dwarf
    Con Master
    Constipated Old Bollix
    Convict No. OTVIII
    Corn in the COB
    Corn on the COB Miscavage
    Corrector General of Tubby Hubby
    Corrupt Obtuse Blasphemer
    Count Derpula
    Count Miscavige
    Count Of Vampirology
    Count Snaggletooth
    Count Yorga, vampire
    Court Ducker
    Coward of Brainwashville
    Coward of the Board
    COZ – Chairman of the Zombitologists
    Creepy Dave
    Creepy Hobbit Fucktard
    Crooked-Gob**
    Curretted Own Bollocks
    D!ckless Maggot
    Daddy’s Mistake
    Daffy Davey Mustravage
    Daffy Misfit
    Daft Davy
    Daft Massingill
    Daft Midget
    Daft Misfit
    Daft Monk
    Dafydd*
    Dai Scwatbotwm*
    Dainty Dave
    Dainty Davy Dingbat
    Dainty Divot
    Dainty Don
    Dainty Maize 
    Dainty Maniac
    Dainty Mcsuckige
    Dainty MiniPope
    Dainty Miss
    Dainty Monarch
    Dainty Mouse
    Dainty Scabbybitch 
    Damage Mismanage
    DaMaged 
    Damaged Mistletoe
    Damian Meanman 
    Damien MissRuntRage
    Damn Miscreant 
    Damned Misconception Miscavige
    Damp Merkin
    Damsel Miscavige
    Dance Macabe
    dancing malignancy
    Danger Midget
    Dangling Modifier
    Dangly Mousdroppings
    Dank Muppet
    Dante MiscAntichrist 
    Dapper Misappropriate
    Dark Helmet
    Dark Lord
    Dark Menace
    dark midget
    Dark Mold
    Dark Muppet 
    Darkly Mistaken
    Darling Donkey Davey
    Darth Midget  
    Darth Miniscule
    Darth Munchkin
    Darvon Mckluckin 
    Das Messiah 
    Das Midget
    Dastardly Dave
    Dastardly Davey
    Dastardly Malicious
    Dastardly Mindfucker
    Dat Maniac
    Dave “Tiny Fists of Fury” Miscavige
    Dave (the punisher) McLouse-infected 
    Dave Cracksavige
    Dave Dastardly
    Dave Misbegotten 
    Dave Miskiewicz
    Dave Mismanagement Miscavige
    Dave Pakman
    Dave Savage Miscavige
    Dave the Dickless
    Dave the diminuative
    Dave the Divot
    Dave, the whimp-ass-abuser, Miscavige
    Daverator
    Davey
    Davey “Fake Navy” Miscavige
    Davey Boy 
    Davey Death Eater
    Davey dick sucker
    Davey Dimwit
    Davey do-as-I-say-not-what-I-do
    Davey DoLittle
    Davey DoWrongavige
    Davey DreamSmasher
    Davey GatBoy II
    Davey Little Caesar Miscavig
    Davey Little Cockett 
    Davey Mae
    Davey Makadamonich
    Davey Makemerich
    Davey MasCara
    Davey McCraycray
    Davey McDoRightWrong
    Davey McIntosh
    Davey McMansion
    Davey McTard
    Davey McWeeny 
    Davey Mickraker
    Davey Micromanage
    Davey Mindfucker
    Davey Mini-Mogullige 
    Davey Minidick
    Davey Miniman
    Davey Misbitch
    Davey Miscreant
    Davey Misfudgekut
    Davey Mooseknuckle
    Davey Moppet
    Davey Moron
    Davey Motts
    Davey Muchomierda-vig
    Davey Mystic Miscavage
    Davey of the Fake Navy
    Davey Scumbotaige
    Davey Scurvey-Dick**
    Davey Second Source
    Davey Shrimpavige
    Davey Smartmouthavige 
    Davey Smudgebucket
    Davey SwindleSavage
    Davey the Ball-less Wonder
    Davey the Despot
    Davey the Douche
    Davey the Liquidator
    Davey Threeballs (extra testosterone for staff assault)
    Davey-bits
    Davey, The Little Caterpillar That Couldn’t 
    David “biting midge” Miscavige
    David “El Chapo” Miscavige
    David “fucking psychopath” Miscavige
    David “he is NOT insane!” Miscavige
    David “Rob-The-Hood” Miscavige
    David “Two Tents” Miscavige
    David “Let Him Die” Miscavige
    David Abortion
    David Belowaverage
    David Cusshavage
    David De Fib
    David Diminiscavige
    David Macsavage
    David Makemerich
    David MaskaBitch
    David Melowaverage
    David MESTcabbage
    David Mi$cavige
    David Midget
    David Minisculavige 
    David Minisculvige
    David Mis Manange 
    DAvid Mis-Boondoggle
    David Miscalculation
    David Miscariage-of-Justice
    David MisCATvish 
    David Misclampage
    David Miscmidget 
    David Miscrab-itch  
    David Miscshit-rash 
    david miselvis
    David Misfit
    David Misgarbage
    David MisJudgement
    David Mislead-iscavige
    David MisMaggot
    David Mismanagement
    David Misplacedhisbitch
    David Misreallyisansob
    David MissCatShit
    David Misscock
    David MissDickswallow
    David Monstervige  
    David MunchinMonsteravige
    David MustDieAvichs
    David Napoleon Miscavige
    David Potty-Mouthscavige
    David Savage Miscavige 
    David Slapabitch
    David tatertot Miscavige
    David The Dwarf 
    David the Faux Goliath
    David The Fuck Miscavige
    David the Mousehearted
    DavidKaren PouwMiscavige
    Davie McShrimpige 
    Davie Miscabies
    Davie Muffcabbage
    Davos Mustravage, the evil child-catcher
    Davy
    Davy “Apple Box” Miscavige
    Davy Bones
    Davy Dinkyfuhrer
    Davy Dipshit
    Davy Dwarfenführer
    Davy MisSasquatch
    Davy Moppet
    Davy Mustravage
    Davy Peabrain 
    Davy S.U.A.V.E. (Straight up and vertical equivocator)
    Davy Thumb
    Davy Wavy Gravy
    Dawee
    De Mindfuck
    Dead Meat
    Deadbeat Dave
    Deadbeat Malcontent
    Deadly Dwarf
    Deadly Dwarf
    Dean of Hypocritologists
    Dear Leader (Likening him to the current leader of North Korea)
    dear misleader
    dear misleader
    Death Midge
    Deceitful Masturbator
    Deceitful Mumblemouth 
    Declining Microman
    Decomposing Meat
    Decomposing Mussel 
    Dedicated Misanthrope 
    Defendant Micromanagement
    Defendant Micropeen
    Defendant Midget
    Defendant Misogynist 
    Defendant Moron
    Definite MisNapping
    Definitely Mediocre 
    Degraded Demented Deluded Deranged Dave Savage Miscavage
    Delicate Mischief 
    Delicate Misogynist
    Delightful Mud-fucker 
    Delirious Macrologist 
    Delirious Megalomaniac
    Deluded McSavage 
    Deluded Mouse
    Delusional Davey
    Delusional Madman
    Delusional Meglomaniac
    Delusional Miscreant 
    Demented Don
    demented maggot
    Demented Master
    Demented Midget
    Demented Miscarriage
    Demented Mistake
    Demented Moneygrabber
    demented protege
    Demi-Douche
    DeMinimus
    DeMon
    Demon Micro-Manager
    Demon Midget
    Demon Mortis
    demon mutt
    Demonic Dildo
    Demonic MidgetMaster
    Demonic Monster
    Demonically Motivated
    Demonstrable Moron
    Denial Manifest
    Denied Mandamus
    Dense Midget
    Deposed Megalomaniac
    Der Dwarfenfuehrer
    Der Flunkenfuhrer
    Der Furor
    Der Kleine Hitler
    Der Kleinegrupenfuhreur (Der Kleine Gruppenführer)
    Der Leader
    Der Manchild
    Der Massengil
    Der Midget
    Der MiniFuehrer
    Der MiniFuhruer
    Der Miscarriage
    der shrimpenheimer
    Der Slapmeister
    Deranged Demented Degraded Dave Rabid Savage Miscavage
    Derp Missmatchmidge
    Derpy McClesiastavige 
    Derpy Midget
    Desiccated Milquetoast
    Desperate Mediocrity
    Desperate Midget
    Despicable Malice
    Despicable Me
    Despicable Midget
    Despicable MiniMe
    Despicable Misanthrope 
    Despoiler of Childhood
    Despotic Dwarf
    Despotic Madman
    Despotic Minitaur
    Destiny’s Midget
    Devil Masquerading
    Devil’s Douchebag
    Devil’s Miscarriage
    Devious Malfactor
    Devious Master
    Devious Midget
    Devised Malfeasance
    Devoid Maravigghia (Sicilian, without wonder) 
    diabetes mellitus (a horrible disease)
    Diabolical Davey
    Diarrhea Man
    Diarrheal Movement
    Dick Mask
    Dick Microscopic. 
    Dick Moneygrubber
    Dick on a Box
    Dick Payne
    dick tater
    Dick-less Minister
    Dickbag Miscavige
    Dickhead McDildo
    Dickhole Manipulator
    Dickish Midget
    Dickless
    Dickless Manchild
    Dickless Mastter-bator
    Dickless midget
    Dickless Misogynist
    Dickless Mite
    Dickless Monitor 
    Dicklesstator
    Dickus Microscopis 
    Dickus Minimus
    Dickwipe
    Dictator Masquerade
    Dictator Midget 
    Dictator of Mismanagement
    Dictator Tot
    DictatorALot (like SpamALot)
    Diddly Micromanager 
    Diddy Dave
    Diddy Davykins
    DiddyMeister
    DieEvilMunchkin
    Diggity McDog
    Dildo Blackheart 
    Dildo Dave
    Dildo Davey
    Dildo Master
    Dildo Mcmidget 
    Dildo Mcruntage 
    Dildo Minister
    Dildo Missionary
    Dillnozzle McScroteless 
    Dim Fuckmudget
    Dim Miss Radish
    Dim Mucosoid
    Dimbulb Miscalculation
    Dime Manager
    Diminished Mapother
    Diminished Mentation
    Diminished Misfit
    Diminished Profit
    Diminishing Microweenie
    Diminishing Miniscule
    Diminunitive Psychopath 
    Diminutive Anti Christ
    Diminutive Dave
    Diminutive Dave
    diminutive dictator
    Diminutive Dimwit
    Diminutive Dimwit
    diminutive Director 
    Diminutive Dwarf, 
    Diminutive Leader 
    Diminutive Malevolent 
    Diminutive Malignancy
    Diminutive Manchild
    Diminutive Master
    Diminutive miscreant
    Diminutive Mouse
    Diminutive Munchkin 
    diminutive sociopathic tyrant
    Dimly Lit Dung Beetle
    Dimly Munchkin
    Dimtard Mass-suckage
    Dimunitive miser
    Dimunitive Miss
    Dimunutive Meddler
    dimwit Davy
    Dimwit Dwarf 
    DimWit McSavage
    Dimwit Midget
    Dimwit Misplacedmybitch 
    Dimwit Moron
    Dimwit Munchkin
    Dimwitted One
    Dimwitted Weasel
    Dimwitus Maximus
    Dinglebat Mi$cavige 
    Dingleberry McDooDoo 
    Dingleberry Meathead
    Dingleberry Miscrapedhispants
    Dink Marauder
    Dinkus Magee
    Dinky
    Dinky D!cky Dave
    Dinky Dick Miscavige
    Dinky Dictator
    Dinky Makemerich
    Dinky Man
    Dinky Mayor
    Dinky McSavage
    Dinky McSlappage
    Dinky Member
    Dinky Microman
    Dinky Midget
    Dinky Mindfuck
    Dinky Miscavige
    Dinky Misconduct
    Dinky Mismanage
    Dinky Mismanager
    Dinky Miss
    Dinky Moneygrabber
    Dinky Moneygrubber
    Dinky Monster
    Dinky One
    Dinkyfuherer
    Dip Maldrip
    Dip Mudkip
    Dipshit Miniscule
    DipsoManiacal Crock O’ Bullshit
    Dipstick Mucilage.
    Dipsy Misdriven 
    Dire Malcontent
    Director of Mesothelioma
    Dirt Magnet
    Dirtbag Dave
    Dirtbag Misogynist  
    Dirtbag Mudfuck 
    Dirtbag Muppet
    Dirty MicroPope
    Dirty Mismanage
    Dirty Mistake
    Dirty Mud-spatter
    Dirty Muskrat
    Disadvantage Miscavige
    Disappointed Maus
    Disappointed Menace
    Discalculia Melancholia
    Discivil Meanness
    Disconnection Dickie
    Disconnector of Mothers 
    Disconsolate Meanness
    Discord Munchausen
    Discordant Misconception
    Discreditable Munchkin 
    Dishonest Munchausen
    Dismal Miscreant
    Dismal Missile
    Dismally Miniscule
    Displaced Midget
    Disputatious Malefactor
    Dissolute Mook
    Distant Mutton
    Distillers’ Misanthrope
    Distinguished Moron
    Distracted Malignant
    Disturbing Midshipman
    Dithering Micromanager
    Ditzy Masochist
    Diva Manchild
    Diva Misscabiatch
    Diva of Misery
    Divine Master
    Divot Mashedcabbage
    Divot Mindscavenge
    Dizzard Malicious 
    DLHDM (David “Let Him Die” Miscavige)
    DM Dud
    DM Dude
    Dmass
    Dmidget
    dmshit
    Do Lie Lama
    Dodgy Dave
    Dodgy Micromanager
    Dollar Miscavige 
    Dollarbill Madman
    Dolt Mismanage
    Dom Miscavige
    Don Mini-me
    Donkey Mini-Me  
    Doober McStooge
    Doofus Minorus 
    Doofus Mustard-itch 
    Doogie McSlappy
    Doomed Malefactor
    doopid mishitvage 
    Dopey Midget
    Doubledown Miscalamity 
    Douche Baggins
    Douche Meister 
    Douche Micro
    Douchebag Dave
    Douchecanoe Malificent 
    Douchey Meritorious
    Downstat Dave
    Downstat Miscavige
    Downtrodden Mealyworm
    Dr. Dismal Misfit
    Dr. Dracuscavige
    Dr. Midget
    Draconian Midget
    Dracula Miscavige
    Draft Moron
    Drag Midget Queen
    dRatty McSavage
    Dreadful Mismanager
    Dribbler MisTinkle
    Dribbling Dwarf
    Dribbling Micturant
    Drip Mustrage
    Drivel McMidget
    Droitless Mischief 
    Drunken Cult Operating Pimp (DCOP)
    Drunken Maggot
    Drunken Malefactor
    Dubious Master
    Dubious Microbe 
    Dubious Mustard
    Due Little
    Dufus Maximus
    Duh Mallethead
    Duke of Oil
    Dull Metal 
    Dullard Microbrain
    Dumb ass Dave
    Dumb Makemerich
    Dumb Midget
    Dumbass Mischling 
    Dumbass Moocher
    Dummy Midget
    Duncecap Dave
    Dung Magnet
    Dung Master
    Dungeon Master
    Dungpuncher Douchebag
    Duplicitous Migraine
    Duplicitous Morbidite 
    Durwood McDumbdick
    Dwarf Boy
    dwarf defendant David Miscavige 
    Dwarf King
    Dwarf Maggot
    Dwarf Master
    Dwarf Megalo-man(iac)
    Dwarf Midget
    Dwarf Miniscule
    dwarf tosser
    Dwarf Vader
    dwarfAdmiral
    Dwarfe Malignente
    Dwarfen Maggot
    Dwarfenfuehrer
    dwarfenfuror 
    DwarfenOz
    Dwarfish Malignancy
    Dwarfish Munchkin
    Dwarfmeister
    dwarfnuts
    Dwarven Massengi
    dwergen fuehrer (dwergen = dwarves)
    dwergenfuherer
    Dwindly McSewage 
    Dwindy Minisculiages
    Dysfunctional Minotaur 
    Dyslexic Mangler 
    Dyspeptic Misanthrope
    e-sleazy-ass-tickle 
    Earl of thetandicks 
    Ecchlesiastical Leader (as MAD magazine would put it)
    Ecclesiastibator
    Ecclesiastical Dildo
    Ecclesiastical Emir of Enemas and Ejaculates
    ecclesiastical midget
    Ecclesiastical Midget.
    Ecclesiasticator
    Ecclesiastipope Miscavige
    Ecclesiasturbator 
    eccsleazeiastical leader
    Ecsleazeiastical Leader
    El Davito
    El Dwarfo
    El Muchacho Pequeño, (trans. The small boy).
    El niño de gran jefe, (trans. The big boss boy) 
    Eleventy star general
    EllRich
    Emperor Clampatine, His most Minuscule
    Emperor Miscavige
    Emperor of Clams
    Emperor Slappamus Ultravox 
    Enrique Entheta (family nickname!)
    Eric Cartman (ref: South Park)
    esleaziastical leader
    EVIL ELF
    Evil Genius
    Evil Midget
    Evil Midget Troll
    Evil overload
    Evil short Tyrant
    Fake Humanitarian.
    Fake Navy Davy
    Fearful Fud
    Fearful Leader With Ten Little Piggy Toes 
    Fearless Leader
    Ferret on Steroids
    Fights-Like-A-Weak-Girly-Then-Runs-Away **
    Five Foot One
    Fleet Admiral Fistfuck
    Fleet Admiral MissCabin 
    Fleet Admiral MissCabin 
    Fleet Enema(Trademark)
    Fluffy Little Tail 
    Flying monkey
    Footbullet Emperor of the GuhLAXy
    Fork Tongue
    Former Mighty Mouse Miscavige
    Four Foot Thirteen
    Fraudfather
    Fuck Face
    Fucking Megalomaniac
    Fucknut
    fucktard
    Fuckwit
    Furious Homunculus
    Furious Midget
    Furry Fists of Fury
    Future Jailbird
    Ghenghis McSavage 
    gnome
    Gobshite
    God-Emperor of Hemet
    Grand Dwarf
    Grand Ecclesiatical Leader
    Grand Exalted Mollusk Monarch
    Grand Poohbah and Ecclesiastical Scammaster
    Grand Poop
    Grand Pope
    gravy Davy
    Half-man.
    Ham Hock
    Hamstercavige
    Hard Face
    He Who Adds Misplaced Commas
    He Who Must Be Blamed
    He Who Must Be Obeyed.
    He Who Must Be Shamed
    He Who Rants About Semicolons 
    He Who Should Probably Wear Lifts
    He Who We Love To Name
    Heartless Knave 
    Helmet Hair
    Here’s group 4A4 of DM nicknames.
    Herr Capitaine Miscavige
    High School Dwarf-Out
    High School Dwarf-Out (Commander, O-5)
    High school dwarf-out.
    His Ass-Holiness, the Dwope (dwarf + pope) of Spyingtology 
    His Asshole-iness 
    His Assholiness
    His Claminess
    His Dark Malevolenc
    His Dmness
    His Ecsleaziastical Eminence
    His Highnessless
    His Holeyness
    His Howlingness
    His Imperial Oiliness
    His Imperial Slappiness
    His Imperial Teensyness
    His Inane Ignorance
    His Midgetness
    His Midgetsy
    His Miniature Excellency
    His Minusculeness 
    His Most Ecclesiastical Sleaziness
    His Most Magnanimous Deviousness 
    His Most Oleaginous Highness 
    His Most Oleaginous Highness, Little Lord Fontelroy
    His Oiliness
    His Royal Asshole (HRA) 
    his royal lowness
    His Satanic Pantwetting Majesty
    His Skanktannic Majesty
    His Skantastic Majesty
    His Smallness
    His Smarminess
    His Soil-y-ness
    His tininess 
    His Tiny Popinessess
    His Unholiness
    his wanna-be holiness
    Hobbit fuck
    Hollow Heels
    Homunculous Novis 
    Homunculus Horribilis
    Human tiny 
    Idol-master
    Igor to “Dr” L. Ron Crankenstein
    Il Douche
    Imam of indecency…
    In Trouble In Texas
    Inchworm
    Invisible Toxic Midget
    Itty Bitty Davy 
    jerkwad
    jobbernowl
    Judas of ARC
    Keeper of the Keys to The Hole and the RPF and the Bridge.
    Kim Jong Mustravage
    Kim-Jong-Un-Mustravage
    King Clam
    King cultroach
    King Klown
    King of Footbullets
    King of Seaborgs
    King of the underoos
    King Twat
    Knavey Davey 
    Knee-High Nazi
    KNOB 
    L’ill Douche
    Lady Davina Miscavige
    Lafayette Ronnie
    Lafayette’s Baby
    LCon’s bootboy
    Le Nain Mortelle (The Deadly Dwarf)
    leatherfaced midget
    Legal Lilliputian 
    Leroy’s Bitch (a prison name)
    lil Captain
    Lil D 
    Lil Demon Dave
    Lil FiveOne (feet & inches)
    Lil FiveOne: a psycho
    lil fuhrer 
    Lil Kim Jong Deuce 
    lil moron  
    lil slap crazy pope
    Lil’ Davey
    Lil’ Davey Limpdick
    Lil’ Despot
    Lil’ four thirteen
    Lil’ Leader
    Lil’ Pope
    Lil’ Ronnie Humptypants
    Lil’ Davey the Mythomaniac
    Lilliputian dingdong
    Lilliputian Lunatic
    limpdick, who can’t get it up
    Little Big Man
    Little Bitch
    Little Bitty One
    Little Boots
    Little Bottom
    Little Butcher
    Little Caesar
    Little Captain
    Little Davey Blue
    Little Davey Misanthrope
    Little Davy Square Pants
    Little Diablo
    Little Dick
    little Dick Turd
    Little Dirk Digger
    Little Divot
    Little Duck Dick
    Little ferret 
    little fidget 
    Little Fist
    Little Fisticuff 
    Little Fucker
    little furry Enemy
    Little Hitler 
    Little Lord Fontelroy
    Little Lord Pompadour
    Little Midget Dick Blister 
    little midget dickblister
    Little Miz Bitch
    Little Monkey
    Little Napoleon
    Little Nero
    Little One
    little preposterous Pope
    Little Rat
    Little Shit
    Little Tator Tot the Dicktator
    Littleman
    Littlest Caligula  
    Littlest Despot
    Littlest Führer
    Littlest Miscavenger
    lolliCOB
    Lord High Clam
    Lord Hubris
    Lord Hubris von Nebraska
    Lord Minimus
    Lord Miscavige
    Lord of Darkness
    Lord of the Blessed Isles beyond the IRS.
    Lord of the Clams
    Lord of the Footbullet
    Lord Thumbscrew 
    Louche Douche 
    Lying King
    Machiavellian Midget
    Macsavage
    Mad – scabbage
    Mad Hatter Miscavige
    mad king
    Mad Monarch
    madman midget
    Makemerich
    malevolent homunculus
    Malevolent Machiavellian Midget
    Malicious Dwarf
    Malignant Dwarf
    Malignotov Davidovich
    Man of Steal
    Man of the Scotch 
    man toddler
    man-chicken
    Maniacal Midget
    maniacal munchkin
    Mao-Cavige
    Mascagni
    Mascivet
    Mask-a-Bitch 
    Master Con
    Maus König 
    Mavid Discavige
    McCabbage
    McCalamity 
    McDivot Backstabbage
    McEvil
    McMidget
    Mcmismanage
    McPope 
    McRuntage 
    McSavage
    Mcscabbage
    McScabbitch
    McScabby
    McScammer 
    McScavenger
    McShitforbrains
    McSlappy
    Mean Missy Cavige
    Mean-spirited Midget
    Measly Dumbass
    meglomaniac middget
    megomaniacal douchebag
    mental midget
    Merchant of Chaos  
    Merchant of Merde
    Mestcabbage
    Mexican Midget Wrestler
    Micro man
    micro miscavige 
    Micromanhandle
    Micromeglomaniac
    micromidget
    micropenis
    MicroPope
    Microscopic Madman 
    Midget Bitch
    Midget Dictator
    Midget dummy Soupy Stalin 
    Midget Dwarf Miscatbitch 
    Midget fascist pseudo pop-up pope
    midget fuckstick
    Midget Makemerich
    Midget Miscavige
    Midget Mouse
    Midget Mussolini 
    Midget Robespierre 
    Midget Ron Burgandy of cults
    Midget Troll
    midgetAdmiralPope 
    Midgeteer
    mighty mental midget
    Mighty MEST
    mighty midget
    Mighty Mini Mistakige
    Mighty Mite
    Mighty Mouse
    Mighty Mousecavige
    Mighty MouseScabige 
    Mighty Mousse
    mighty mousse
    MightyMiniMoron 
    militant midget
    Mindscavinge
    Mini Caesar
    Mini Dink
    Mini Hitler
    Mini Me
    Mini Stalin 
    Mini-Malevolence
    Mini-MeScavige
    Mini-Mountebank Miscsavage
    Miniature Captain
    Miniature Machiavelli 
    miniature mobster
    Minibritches
    MiniFuehrer
    Minimus Maximus
    Miniscavige 
    Miniscule Miscreant
    Minister of Malice
    Minunitive Minotaur
    minute Miscavige
    Mis’dcourage
    MisanthroPope
    Miscabbage
    Miscabitch
    Miscabullshit
    Miscadick
    Miscarnage
    Miscarriage
    MisCarrion
    Miscavamatics (for his scientology math)
    Miscavarallies (for his morgue openings and other annual events)
    Miscaville
    Miscavity
    Miscmidget
    Miscmunchkin
    Misconceived
    Miscy Mouse
    Misdamage
    Misdavige
    MisEntropic
    miserable asthmatic misanthropic pissmire
    Misfit Toy
    Misgarbage
    MisGoofage
    Misleaze 
    Mismaggot
    Mismanage 
    MisManage 
    Mismanager
    Miss Cabbage
    Miss Carnage
    MISS cavige
    Miss Crab-itch  
    Miss D. Meaner
    miss manage
    Miss scab balls
    Miss Tradgedy
    Miss Tragic
    MisScavenge
    MissCobbage
    Missedcavige
    missincabbage
    Missing Gasket
    MisStakige
    Missy Miscavige
    MissyMuskavige
    Mistakiage
    Mister Piece of Shit
    Mister Scab-itch
    MistrustRavage
    Mixmaster
    Miz Bitch
    Miz Panty Bitches
    Miz Panty Britches
    Mohammad’s Momma (a prison name)
    Money Badger
    Money Miscavige 
    Montana Munchausen
    Most Unctuous Oleaginosity
    Motivated Demon
    Mouse king
    mouse King-Machiavellian midget-asthmatic dwarf 
    Mouse-caviage, rodent king of the clams
    Mouse-caviege His hole-iness
    Mousekavige
    Mouseking Midget
    Mousey McScaviage
    Mousketeer Malice 
    Mousyscabiage
    Mr Stacked-heels.
    Mr. Avid Missilecatcher
    Mr. Cabbage
    Mr. D. Mistaken4 aMan
    Mr. Davey Mae Miscavige
    Mr. David MisDuplicity
    Mr. Derpid Minotaur 
    Mr. Itty Bitty
    Mr. Micromanage
    Mr. MisAsshole 
    Mr. Miscabitch
    Mr. Miscabitch
    Mr. Munchkin
    Mr. Psycho
    Mr. Slappy Toes
    Mr. Supreme Mighty Midgetscavige 
    Mr. Tantrum Man
    Mr. Weebody
    Ms Scabbitch
    Muff Cabbage 
    Munchkin
    Munchkin Banshee
    Munchkinführer
    Musclehead
    Mustachevich
    Mustravage
    Mustvanish
    Musty McFudgepacker 
    Myslappyface
    Mythomaniac
    Nadir Leader
    nain sauvage (French for savage dwarf)
    Napoleon Mismanage 
    NARCISSISTIC ASSHOLE DWARF HOBBIT FUCK!
    NARCISSISTIC ASSHOLE DWARF!
    Nasty Little Puke-Face**
    Needle dick
    Nero McSavage 
    niblet (Ref: corn on the COB)
    Nincompope of Scientology
    Nipple Head (Where the top of his head brings him in relation to many women).
    nipplehead
    Not David Mismancha
    Not David Misquixote
    Not-So-Secret Squirrel
    NotQuite51 (height in ft.& inches)
    noxious nanoid
    Nubs
    Oberslappenfuherer Miscavige
    Obispo Es Bajo De Cajones(¨the short-as-fuck bishop)
    Oil sucker
    oily fucker
    Omnincompoopitent
    One Fifty Five (his height in centimeters)
    One hundred and fifty-five centimeters of mean
    One more fuckup
    One shoe short of a midget.
    Oompa Loompa
    Org Ogre Most Unctuous,
    Osama Bin Davey
    overdressed Ooompa Loompa 
    Ozymandias
    Padre of Pendejos (father of dickheads)
    Padre of Perdition
    Pajillero Pontiff (the wanker pontiff)
    Papal Duncio
    paper tiger shrimp
    Paranoid Megalomaniac Sociopath
    Parapope.
    pathetic psychopath
    Patron Convictus
    Pee Wee McBully
    Perp-squeek
    Perpsqueak
    person of dubious height
    person of interest Miscavige
    Petite pontificating ponce
    petite tyrant
    Petty Little Bitch – Mareka Brousseau
    PettyParaPope 
    Petulant Pontiff
    Pharaoh Miscavige 
    Pick-Scabbage
    Pie-face
    Pied Viper
    Pig’s-Manners**
    pimp ass’d weasel “leader”
    Pimp Imp 
    Pimp-Slappy Mi$cavidge
    Pimpo Novis
    Pimpsqueak
    Pinnochio on a Toadstool 
    Pinocchio
    pinocchio on a footstool
    Pint sized pontiff
    Pint sized tyrant
    Pipsqueak Pope
    Piscop of pissants. (Piscop=bishop in old English)
    Pissant Toadstool
    PissCabbage
    Pisscavige
    Pissflapscavige
    Planned Parenthood poster child.
    Pleasedon’tdeposeme
    Pocket Pope 
    Poison Pope
    Pompadour Davey
    Pompous Pope of Perdition
    Pompous Pustulance
    Pontifex Minimus
    Poodle
    Poop of Scientology
    Poop of Scientology
    Pope Asshole II
    Pope Captain Blackheart
    Pope Ecclesiasticus
    Pope Homunculus I
    Pope in Pampers
    Pope Niblet
    Pope of Blackberry
    Pope of Clam Chowder
    Pope of Clamotology
    Pope of Clams
    Pope of Clearwater
    Pope of Paranoia  
    Pope of Penquins.
    Pope of Perdition
    Pope of Potty Mouth
    Pope of Scientology
    pope of sillyology
    Pope of Sps
    Pope on the Box
    Pope Pompadorable
    Pope Tronmatic Sack Disorder
    Pope-a-dope
    Pope-On-A-Soapbox
    Popey
    Popey the SeaOrg man
    Poppet
    Potty Chair Kid
    potty-mouthed psychopath 
    Power Mad Twerp
    Poxy pud
    Prickus Americanus 
    Priest of perversity… 
    Prince Humperdink
    Prisoner #4747474747
    Prophet of Pain
    Pseudo Pope
    pseudo scientific evangelist 
    Pseudo-Pope of the Unholy Alleged Church 
    Psycho Smurf
    Psychopath Wanker Pontiff
    psychopathic pompadoured pimp
    Psychoscavige
    psychotic munchkin dictator  
    Punchin’ Munchkin 
    Punching Pontiff.
    Punching Pope
    Punchy
    Punchy Dweeble
    Quark Brain
    Rabbi of Righteousness 
    Rabid MisCabbage
    Rabid Piscabidge**
    Ramrod Ron
    Rancid Rat
    Ratty Bratty Slappy
    Rear Admiral Shortarse and bottoms
    RoboCob
    Rodent of Unusual Size
    Rodmeister
    Ron Burgundy of Cults
    Rottenskankage
    Royal Ankle Biter
    Royal Douche nozzle 
    Ruinous Runt
    Runt in Charge.
    Runt Squirrel 
    RUNT!
    Runty Dinktator
    Russett-Gussett**
    sadistic dwarf
    sailor boy
    Salacious B. Crumb
    Sauron Miscavige 
    savage Dwarf
    Savage Miscavage 
    Savage Miscavage Mustravage
    Savage Misdickus
    Savage Shrimp
    Sawed-Off Cocksucker
    Scabbage
    Scabby Bitch
    Sci Furher
    Scientolgy’s Pope
    Scientolonuts  
    Scion Pope
    sCOhB
    Scruffy McStuffy
    Scruffy McStuffy, the Tiny Titmouse King
    scum beneath the sewage
    scurvy rat
    Shirvell’d Dwarf-Balls**
    Shit nugget.
    Shitinimself
    shitting dwarf 
    Short Asshole
    Short Bus Davy
    Short Bus Shorty
    Short Dave Silvers 
    Short Notice
    Short One
    Short Stack
    Short Stalin
    Shortarse
    Shortie
    Shortshanks
    Shorty
    Shorty McFistTiCuffs 
    Shouty Shortarse**
    Shrimp Pimp
    Shrimplette
    Sideshow COB
    Sie Gott verdamme Schwanzlutscher auf dem Hollywood Boulevard (YSCOHB)
    Sin Bad the Failure
    Sixty-One inches of mean
    Slap Happy
    Slaphappy Shitebreath
    slapping dwarf
    slapping little worm
    slapping midget
    Slappy
    slappy little worm
    Slappy McNutts
    Slappy McPunch
    Slappy Miscabbage
    Slappy Miscassface 
    Slappy Miscmidget
    Slappy Slakbladder**
    Slappy Squirrel
    Slappy the Eight Minute Wonder Ref: Short speech at SP building opening.
    Slappy the Fake Punchin’ Pope
    Slappy the Mini-Pope
    Slappy the Punching Pope
    Sluggard
    Sluggo
    Smack Daddy
    Smackdaddy Most Holy
    Small group leader
    Small-Minded Dictator
    Smarmy Smurf
    Smelly Squatbottom**
    Snake Eyes Davy
    Snortimer Pigglesworth
    SOB COB
    Sphincter Pope
    spoilt poison dwarf
    spokesmidget for Scilontoology
    Squatbottom
    Squirm Worm
    Squirmy McSlimeage  
    Squirrelscavige
    Squirty McSmalliage.
    Squrrlnutz.
    Stinking Cabbage
    STINKINGCABBAGE 
    Stumpy Blackheart
    Superchump
    Suppressive Pipsqueak
    Supreme Commander Of the Holy Battleship (SCOHB)
    Tadger
    Tampon
    Tantruming Toddler
    Tater Tot
    teeny little homunculus
    Teeny Teratogenic
    Teeny Weinie 
    Teflon Con
    Teflon Pope
    Teratogenic Tyrant 
    the Boogalloo Shrimp of Scientology
    The Cheshire Cat
    the Choke of Scamatology
    The Dark Lord Chuckles The Silly Piggy
    the Dildo of our Disconnect
    The Dim One
    The Elfish one.
    The ElfMan
    The Fidgeting Midget
    The Joker
    The Knight Who Says “Nix”.
    The Lawn Ornament
    The Little Fisticuff
    The Little Man With Asbestos Riddled Brains
    The Man Who Just Didn’t Get It
    The official “Pimp” of Scientology 
    the perverter
    The pimp of Scientology
    The smallest erect member
    The Tiny Master
    The Tiny of Terror Town
    The Tiny Terror of Tootville
    The Toeless One (refer to all his footbullets)
    The Unflushable Floating Turd.
    The Wee $h*t
    Thetan of Satan
    Tight-y Tiny Tyrant
    tim’rous beastie [Ref: Robert Burns]
    Tiny Ahab
    Tiny Booted one
    Tiny Boots
    Tiny Cancer
    Tiny Corn COB
    Tiny Crackpot
    Tiny Cuntroller
    Tiny Dancer
    Tiny Dave
    Tiny dick
    Tiny Dick(tator)
    tiny dicked midget
    Tiny Dim
    tiny Dweeb-scavige
    Tiny Fist Fuckface
    Tiny Fists
    Tiny Grand Captain of Scientology
    Tiny Hook [Ref: Peter Pan]
    Tiny little Sirry with with the Fringe on the Top
    Tiny Majesty
    Tiny Member
    tiny midget king
    Tiny Nuts
    Tiny of Terror Town
    Tiny omnipotent one 
    Tiny Psycho
    Tiny Slappy Tyrant
    Tiny Sphincter 
    Tiny Tadger
    Tiny Teflon Don
    Tiny Terror
    Tiny Terror of Trophies
    tiny testees
    Tiny Titmouse King
    Tiny tosser
    Tiny Tosspot 
    Tiny Turdlette
    Tiny Twat
    Tiny Twit
    Tiny Tyrannical Tot
    Tiny Tyrant
    Tinyfists Mustravage
    titanic tosser
    titular twit
    Tolouse Laucavige.
    Tom Riddle (Voldemort’s real name)
    Tom Thumb of The Cult of $cientology.
    tormentor-in-chief tosser-of-clams (TIC TOC) 
    Toxic Dwarf
    Toxic Midget
    Toxic, greedy, shrimp.
    Toxicopestis Miscavigii 
    Traveling Gnome
    Tricky Dickhead 
    Troll McTurdsniffer 
    tuffed McCabbage 
    Turd Nugget
    Turd Pope
    Turdlette
    TweedleDeeM
    Tweedledumiscavige
    Twerpus Humonculous
    two-bit tortured tiny tinpot tosser
    typhoid turd 
    Tyrannosaurus Minimus
    Uberdouche
    uberwanker
    Un-Happy-Slappy
    Unctuous Oiliness Supreme
    Unctuous Oiliness Supreme
    Unnameable One
    Urban Blight
    vertically challenged pope
    Vicar Most Vicious
    Vicar of victimisation…
    Violent Midget
    violently insane dwarf 
    violently slapping lunatic
    virulent bastard
    Voldemort
    Walking Massingill
    Wank Stain Mah Cob
    Wankmeister
    Wavey Davey (Also Wavy Davy)
    Weasel-in-Chief
    Weazle Monkey
    Wee Davey
    wee Ecclesiastical Captain Bastard
    Wee Heir
    wee nubbin
    Wee Nut
    Wee One
    Wee Pontifex 
    Wee Slap-Happy
    wee sleekit Beastie (small, sly, wicked beast – Robert Burns)
    Wee Wonky Miscavige
    Wee, sleekit, cow’rin’, tim’rous beastie [Ref: Robert Burns]
    Who Will Not Tell The Truth
    wiggler in chief
    Wile E. Miscavige
    Willful Poophead 
    wimp ass pussy pimp weasel
    Wingnut
    winzig Fuhrer [little Fuhrer]
    Wiskey-Breath**
    Wittle Davy Piddlepants
    Wizard of Ooze 
    WussCabbage
    Xenu’s Chew Toy
    Xenutoid
    Yardstick
    Your Holeness
    Zero Nero
    Zygote Munter

    *From a small Welsh tribe of idiots who sailed to Pagagonia in stone boats.
    i was just musing on variants of Shortarse… and Dai Squatbottom (wishful thinking for die, squatbottom!) and his stone boat sprang into horrid being.
    “Dai” is the short familiar version (like “Lew” for Llewellyn or “Glyn” for Glyndwr/Glendower).
    “Scwatbotwm” is probably how you’d spell Squatbottom in Welsh orthography
    **From a poster for a mythical pirate, Captain Blackheart posted by Mark

    • Missionary Kid

      L. RON HUBBARD NICKNAMES
      Abominable Showman
      Acronym Arsehole
      Admiral Assclown
      Ai! Perdito!
      Bare Faced Mess
      Beelze-Bubo
      Big Bean
      Big Being
      Big Scam Man
      Bigamist Most Distinguished
      Billion Year Asshole
      Bloated Bastard.
      Bloated Bloviator
      Blubbard
      Blubtard
      Botulistic Braggart
      Bovine Bigamist
      Bovine Bloviater
      Cap’n Lord Hubris
      Captain Blowhard
      Captain Hubbsurd
      Chief of the Lemmings
      Chief Sitting Bullshit
      Commode Door Crudterd
      Commode-door Ron
      Commodore Creeper
      Commodore Cuckoo
      Commodore EL. Run Scurbburd
      Commodore Idiotic Gasbag
      Commodore Lying Rat Hump
      Commodore Rimjob
      con ron
      Count Drekula
      Creepy Uncle Ron
      Crimson Creep
      Crimson Cuckoo
      Crimson Cyst
      Crock
      Crude Lewd Ignorant Dude
      Curse of the Coronados
      D’Doo Ron Ron.
      Dark Angel of Overboarding
      Dark Lord
      Darth Father
      Dead Carrot Top
      Dear Founder (Likening him to the founder of North Korea)
      dear old Souse
      Death Breath
      Dilrod Bumtard
      DM’s Sea Daddy
      Dr L. Ron Crankenstein
      Dr. Hubs PhD (Cough)
      Dr. Hubtard
      Dr. LRH, Quackologist, MD (Meaningless Designation)
      Dr. Pretentious
      Dr. Scrubbard
      drug-laced psychotic
      dumbard
      Ecclesiastical Buttplug
      El Con
      El Drone Hubub
      El Flabtard
      El Fraud Hubbárd
      El Fraud Hubbtard
      El Lardo Butt
      El Loon.
      El Rod
      El Romp Blabber
      el ron don
      El Ron Hippo
      El Ron Hobo
      El Ron the thetan Satan
      El Ron Tub o’ Lard
      El Ronillo
      El Sum-Ting-Wong Hubtard
      El Wretch
      El Wretch Hubris
      Eldrond
      Ella Ache Hubba Hubbhard
      Ellaraich Hubstard
      Eller H
      ElRon
      ElRon ElRey
      Elron Fucktard
      Elron Hippo
      ElRonNoughtical
      Elwrong
      Elwrong Flubtard
      Etron (turd) à la Persil
      Ever Open Commode Door
      Evil ginger
      Evil letcher
      faiL wrong tubblard
      faiL wrong tubblard
      Fat Bastard
      Fat Boy
      Fat Flub
      Fat Fraudster
      Father of Lies
      Fatman
      Fatty
      Fish lips
      Flatulant tub
      Fleet Admiral Hubris
      Flubtard
      Foul Ole Ron
      Fraudfather
      Freddy Flunk-Out
      Ghoul of the Golden Rod
      ginger God
      Ginger minger
      Ginger Pig [with apologies to gingers and pigs everywhere]
      Ginger Slugtard.
      Ginger-Haired Gastropod
      Great Ginger Pig [with apologies to pigs everywhere]
      Great Screamer Most Loud
      Guru of Garbage
      Hell Ron Fucktard
      Hell Ron Hublard
      HellRH
      HellRHubturd
      His Odious Olineess
      His Satanic Majesty
      His Tubby Sackness
      His Ultimate Sleaziness
      Hub Tubbery Tub
      Hubbard the hole
      Hubbard the Hutt
      Hubbardito
      Hubbarf
      Hubbastard
      Hubbfucktard
      Hubbsie
      Hubbug
      Hubburp
      Hubby Dub Dub
      Hubby Hippo
      Hubby Tubby
      Hubcap
      Hublard
      Hubnoxious
      Hubris
      Hubtard
      HubTub
      Hubzilla
      Jabba the Hub
      Jabbard the Hutt
      Jabberhubby
      King Con
      Klam King
      Kookular Pharmacist
      L Ghoul Hubbard
      L Ironic Hubsurd
      L Rabid Wanker
      L Ron Humblebrag
      L Ron Hyperbole
      L Ron Lugosi
      L Wrong Hypnofraud
      L. Bong Humper
      L. Can Hubcap
      L. Capitan
      L. Con Hubbard
      L. Crook Hubbard
      L. Dumb Sluggard.
      L. Empty Cupboard
      L. Loon Hubbard
      L. Right Bastard
      L. Rock Hubbard
      L. Ron Bastard
      L. Ron Cthulhu
      L. Ron Druggard
      L. Ron Fllbby
      L. Ron Jeremy
      L. Ron Rhubbish
      L. Ron Slubtard
      L. Ron Teletubbard
      L. Ruin Hublurb
      L. Rum Hub(belch)bert’s
      L. Run-away-from-the-law Hubbard
      L. Ruse Scabbard
      L. Wrong Hypocritical
      L. Wrong Retard
      L. Wrong Theta
      L.Round Hubbard
      L’Umpty Dumpty
      La fatty
      LaFarts
      Laff-able Ronny Tubbard
      Laffy H.
      Lafreak Ronette Hapablap
      Laughayette
      Laughayette Wrong Flubtard
      Liar Ron Humbug
      Liar Ron Humpty
      LiaRH
      LiarRon Humptydumpty
      Lie Run Hustle
      Lil Red Hemorrhoid
      Lil Red Hullabaloo
      Lil Red Hypnotist
      Lil Red Hypnotoad
      Lil Ronnie Horndog
      Lil Ruby Hogswallowers
      Lil’ Rubbin Himself
      Limp Rabid Humper
      Limp Rancid Humper
      Little Ronnie Humperdink
      Liver Lipped Laffy
      Liver Lipped Liar
      Liver lips and a sebaceous cyst
      Liver-Lipped Prophet
      Llama Rectal Hemorrhoid
      Logorrhea Wrong Hubbawubba
      Long Con Hubbard
      Long wRong Huckster
      Loonaticus Robyoublind Hugelipicus
      Looney Rooney Humbug
      Loonie Red Head
      Loony Rotten Huckster
      Loopy Retched Humbug
      Lord High Ulcerator
      Lord Hubris of Tilden
      Lord of the Floating Ashtrays
      Lord of the Lies
      Lord Redundant Horseshit
      Lord Retinal Hematoma
      Lord Ronwald Happablapp
      Lord Ruby Hypocrite
      Louche Recluse Hubris
      LR Tubblard
      LreccH
      LRH  Wrongo
      LRH: The Earl of Babbleon
      LRHubdub.
      Lronny
      Lroon
      Lround
      Lt Reginald Humperdinck
      Lubb-lard
      Lubbard
      Lying old bag of pus
      Lying Racist Homophobe
      lying sack of sebaceous puss
      Magnate of Magnetic Anomalies
      Man with The Duck Lips
      Marquis de Fraud
      Marquis de Lafayette de Tilden
      Master Bastard
      Master(bator) Hubbtard
      megomaniacal douchebag
      Misogynistic prick
      Mixmaster
      Montana Mountebank
      MoRon
      Most Solemn Vistaril
      Mother Hubbard
      Mr Tubs
      Mr. Pretentious
      Mr. Sci Fi Window Into The Future
      Mr. Toad
      Narcissistic Ginger Pig
      Nookular Physicist
      Nubnurd
      nucular fisicist
      Ol’ Fishy Lips
      Ol’ Mother Hubbard
      Old Bloviator
      Old Fish Lips
      Old Scarlett Fever
      Old Tubby Hubbard
      Ole Windshitter
      One Hot Mess
      Paranoid Pisstaker
      Phat Fraud
      Pimpo Novis
      Poopdeck Pappy
      Pope Asshole I
      pseudo scientific evangelist
      Ra Ra Ron The Sun God
      Rambling Ron
      Rambling Ron the Boring Con
      Ramrod Ron
      Rblubbrt
      Rear Admiral Commodore Captain Commander in Chief Cook and Bottle Washer Lil Roundie Habablap
      Red Haired Raunchy Ronster
      Red Menace
      Red Plague
      Remedial L. Ron
      Robber-in-Chief
      Ron Bare Cubbard
      Ron boy
      Ron Münchhausen
      Ron the flunker.
      Ron-The-Con
      Ron, the Raunchy Redhead.
      Ronaldo El Hubbard
      Ronmeisterness
      Ronnie Fat Boy
      Ronniz
      Rontard
      Rotten Hub
      Royal Rube-Ripper
      Saint Hubbard
      Satan Incarnate
      Satan’s Baby
      Satan’s Spawn
      Scarlet Pimple
      Scarlett Jackoff
      Scientology’s Souse
      Scumbburds
      Sebaceous Clam
      Sebaceous Sam
      Sebaceous Squid
      Slubbard
      Sluggard
      Snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings
      Sphincter Tetanus Supremus
      Stubbard
      Stuppard
      Sultan of Swill
      TakeTheMoneyAndRon
      Telepa-tubby
      The Evil One
      The Grand Vizier of Vistaril
      The Great Hubbardini
      the great Hubbinsky
      The Hub
      The Hubster
      The Mad Hatter
      The Master of Pablum Foufou
      The Tubster
      Theta Tomata (applies to all clams)
      Thieflord
      Tinpot Tosser
      Tubbard
      Tubber Hubber Man
      Tubbo
      Tubbo Tublard
      Tubbo Tublard
      Tubby
      Tubby Hubby
      Tublard
      Tubo’lard
      Tubsterino
      Turd from Tilden
      Turd of Tilden
      überputz
      Vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert
      Wrongald.

      http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/1445/2608/original.jpg
      From an anachronistic Wanted poster, with Ron as an old time pirate:
      WANTED for Vilest Perjury on the High Seas, Publick Thuggery, Promiscuous Rogering & Bigamy:
      Captain Bullshytte*
      Formerly Master of Ye ‘Royal Scumbagge, now in Partes Unckown
      A most Malevolent & Cruel (withal Malodorous) Villain*
      L. Ron Sluggarde*
      Fornicating Fatso*
      Tubbo Toothrotte*
      Crappy Commodore*
      Saggy-Baggy-Undercrackers*
      Terrible Turde-Breathe*
      Wouldn’t Knowe ye Truth Even If It crept Uppe & Bit Him On His Bygge Fat Arse
      Captain Bullshytte*
      Willie Wobblybottome*
      El Ronita de Hubba-Hubba*
      Mr. Russett-Gussett*
      The Bastarde Bigamist*
      Old Toade-Face*
      Squat, Sordid & Salicious*
      Sharke-Mouthed Scamster*
      Ghastlie Ginger-Puges*
      Ye Plausible Porker*

  • Missionary Kid

    MISERABLE $CIENTOLOGISTS

    Douchbag Club for those who’ve done despicable things
    Elena Cardone
    Grant Cardone 
    Hugh Power
    Kirstie Alley 
    Tom Cruise 
    Tommy Davis

    Entries are in order of last names.

    Nicknames for Kirstie Alley
    Bitch of Boohoo 
    Blind Alley – Tiziano Lugli
    Brainwashed Bimbo Krusty Kreme the Queen of Denial
    Countess of C#nt
    Creepy Un Neutered Twat 
    Dead End Alley
    Despoiler of Nights. 
    Dutchess of Dis
    fatback
    Fudgie the Whale
    Hefty Harridan Hussey 
    Her Royal Oiliness
    Jabba the Hutt
    Kaiju Krusty 
    Kirstie Alley: Ruiner of Days 
    Kirstie Krazy Alley
    Kirstie Monster
    Kirstie the Hutt 
    Krasstie
    Krispy
    Krosty Olly
    Krustapottamus
    Krustizilla
    Krusty
    Krusty Airhead
    Krusty Kling-on
    Krusty Kunt 
    Krusty the blimp
    Krusty the Klammy Klown 
    Krusty The Snowjob Man 
    Lady of Lunacy
    Maid of Malevolence
    Ms. Bon Bon 
    official Apocalypse Sow
    Petulant POS
    termagant toady
    Thar she blows
    The Cuntess
    The Prima Donna of the D-list
    Tweetzilla
    unemployed clam cow
    Witch of Wichita

    THINGS SAID ABOUT KIRSTIE ALLEY:

    Things Said About her house in Maine:
    Barbie’s Fever Dream House
    Barbie’s Worst Acid Trip House of Horrors!
    I thought Mattel managed to withdraw all those back in the 70s… 
    It’s decorated in cupcake frosting, with sprinkles 
    It’s nothing a little bit of pink might fix.
    Pept-abysmal 
    pepto bismal palace
    Pepto Bismo Palace
    Pepto Dismal Palace
    Puke Palace
    The Pink Canker.
    You’ve heard of Barbie’s Dream House? Well, this is her NIGHTMARE.

    Things Said About Kirstie herself:
    An apt quote form “Time Bandits” applies to her – “you’re so mercifully free from the ravages of intelligence”
    Battlefield Girth
    Can you imagine how dumb Kirstie Alley was before she had her I.Q. Increased by LRH’s tech?
    It’s widely known that Alley has trouble keeping her mouth shut, even between bites.
    KA is so fat, when she backs up, she beeps!
    Keeping Scientology Whaling 
    Keeping Scientology Whining
    Kirstie Alley has an OTVIII level in fried foods
    Kirstie Alley: a bleached whale
    Kirsty has the ability to pick a fight while locked in an empty room. 
    Ruiner of Days, Despoiler of Nights. 
    She may have had a silent birth, but she hasn’t really been silent since, has she?
    She wrote a screenplay, “CHEER$ – where every reg knows your name.”
    She’s so elephant.
    She’s very deep. Like a cavern filled with guano. 
    That Kirstie, so klassy.
    Who needs friends when you have lemurs and lots of food to fill that gaping hole in your psyche?

    ANNE ARCHER (Tommy Davis’ mom) 
    Nanazilla (Tommy is about to become a father)
    the Herman Goering of Clams

    Things said about Elena Cardone & her Nicknames 
    Doucherin 
    Douchess
    Elena acts like the day shift stripper who turned tricks at the airport Marriot under the stage name of “Charity” and finally gave the right lap dance/handy to the right john.
    Elena Crapdome
    Elena No Braina’
    Harpy Cardone
    indouchian 
    Mrs. Asshat 
    Olive Oyl
    Queen of Douchebags
    The Whore of Babble-On
    The Wicked Queen

    Things said about Grant Cardone & his Nicknames 
    Walking Messingil
    Ubiquitous douchebag
    Uberdouche
    The Great Cardonihole 
    SquareGrant DouchePants
    spavined brain 
    postulating pustulant 
    Pimpo Novis
    middle-aged white dude trying to be cool. 
    middle-aged white dude pretending to string pseudo-coherent sentences together 
    Mac Daddy of Asshats 
    level 47 douchecanoe
    King of Douchbags
    indouchian
    He supplies his own stupid.
    He doesn’t brush his teeth. It causes hemorrhoids.
    Grant just can’t stop talking about how awesome Grant is 
    Grant is Ted Bundy with slightly more self-control 
    Grant CONdone
    Grant Cardouche
    Grant Cardone, sitting president of the Grant Cardone fan club and asshattery.
    Grant Cardone, human streptococcus bacteria 
    Grant Cardone- Paddling Down the Looping Water-Park Lazy River to Total Freedom in a Gold Plated Douche Canoe.
    Grant Cardone is a human bed bug.
    Grant acts like the fading frat boy who was bottom of his pledge class, and barely made the cut because he knew somebody. But he’s the loudest, most obnoxious one at the party, he admits to and prides himself on slipping roofies to freshmen, and commits several counts of date rape. Also his personal anthem is “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke
    Grant (“neck thicker than head”) Cardone
    Fart Cardone
    Douchey the Dwarf
    Don Cardouche
    Chato – Brazilian slang for Completely Annoying
    Cardonehole
    Always sleazier than you think.
    A case of delusional euphoria 
    47x Shades of Cray: The Grant Cardone Story

    Things said about the Cardones 
    Cardones – Kardashians of scientology.
    Double Douche
    Double Douchebags
    douchecanoe
    Grunt & Enema Carjack 
    In answer to the demand to “Find successful scientology tools”  a Bunkaroo answered, “Heh, no thanks. Grant & Elena Cardone are enough for me.” 
    King and Queen of Douchbags
    Los Dos Douches 
    Pimp and Pimpette
    Rant & Enema Carwreck
    Runt & Hyena Cartoonish 
    Sort of a pity, a douche is a useful product, the Cardones, not so much.

    THINGS SAID ABOUT CLARK CARR:
    Typical Scientologist comedian: he’s only funny when he’s deadly serious. 
    Carr-ion

    Nancy Cartwright 
    A cartoon like Buddha from a cartoon voice over actress in support of a cartoon-like religion.
    Cartwrong
    Her Royal Duchess Divine Queen of Valley Muppets
    Her Royal Governor
    Nancy Bartwright
    Nancy Carthorse
    Nancy Fart-right
    Nancy Not-right. 
    Royal Crackpot of the Valley West of the Rockies

    Captain Howdy started this explosion of Doggerell about Nancy Cartwright. The * tells who came up with the variation on the last two lines.
    She claps like a seal
    And hops like a frog 
    They call her Nancy
    But her real name is God 
    *Graham
    You can call her Nancy
    But never call her Wog. 
    *HillieOnTheBeach
    You can call her Nancy
    “What the fuck?” says my dog 
    *Espiando
    You can call her Nancy
    or “Soo-eee!” like a hog 
    *Illinoisian
    She’s a zany inspiration
    For the poets on this blog.

    ChillEB 
    Clue-less, with chin ornaments.
    Is he the cop from the Village People?
    Isaac Hayes ultra-lite
    Post-modern Scilon Pimp
    Chilli-B
    Chill EB
    Chilliy-Willy-Jelly-Bean

    TOM CRUISE
    $cienMan
    Couch Jumper
    Cruise Misshole 
    Davy’s little toy
    ElfMan
    His Royal Cruiseness
    Jerry McGlib
    Jerry McGLIBIDITY
    Jerry McGullible
    Little Tommy Tucker (Ref: Nursery rhyme)
    Lord Cruise
    Lost Gun
    Middletooth Mapother
    Midgeteer
    Misscruise
    Operating Fruit-loop
    Peanut boy
    Pin-up boy
    Running Dwarf
    See-Cruise-Crash-Again (Ref: his attempt at SCCA racing)
    Taliban Tommy
    Tammy Girl
    TCSDMCOHB
    Templeton (the more he ages, the more he reminds me of the rat from Charlotte’s Web)
    The Glib-Meter
    The Grand Douche
    The Whooosh-ZZZZ!!! Divorcee
    Timy Tommy
    Tiny Tom
    Tom Cosmetic Surgery
    Tom Crude
    Tom Kat-less
    Tom Middletooth
    Tom Ruse
    Tom Snooze
    Tom Thumb
    Tom Thumbscrew
    Tomboy
    Tommy Culty
    Tommy Girl 
    Tommy Low Tone
    Tommy-Dunce
    Top Bum
    Top Goon
    uberdouche
    Überthetan

    SAID ABOUT TOM CRUISE:
    Being associated with Tom Cruise in any way but acting is now considered “Tom Foolery.”
    Cruise is the Goebbels of Scientology 
    Every time I hear or read the name ‘Tom Cruise’, I think of doorbells…DING DONG!
    He jumped the couch.
    In the end, Tom Cruise was just another fool. (Will be said at his death or when he blows).
    On his movie, Edge of Tomorrow, “Clamhog Day”
    The Jar Jar Binks of $cientology.
    Tom Cruise Crazy
    Tom Cruise is responsible for more sales of Guy Fawkes masks than the movie V for Vendetta. 
    Tom Cruise keeps issuing press releases about how he did his own stunts. But so did the people in Jackass videos.
    Tom Cruise needs a better script.
    Tom keeps no wife passed her 33rd birthday.
    Tommy’s Danger Zone is a couch.
    When Tom is challenged to defend $cientology, his crickets are deafening.

    Tom Cruise Poem, by Hamtaro:
    There once was a fellow named Cruise
    His family? He liked to abuse
    He once banished his niece
    Coz she smooched a hot piece
    Top Gun sports a mighty short fuse.

    TOMMY DAVIS Nicknames and Things Said about Him  Tommy has left $cientology, and got paid off.
    Foot bulletman 
    He’s Scientology’s Paris Hilton – stupid, irrelevant, yet incredibly arrogant due to inherited wealth.
    Leader of Anonymous
    Mommy’s Tommy
    obnoxious martinet
    Pimpo Novis
    Tomass Davass
    Tombola
    Tommy the Tool
    Tommybot
    TommyDummy
    Tommyrot
    Tommywanker
    Tool Time Tommy

    BOB DUGGAN
    Walking Messingill

    Jenna Elfman
    Baby raper 
    Bestiality babe *
    Elfbrain
    Erection killer.
    Heavyweight cult intellectual
    Horse sex show star.*
    Ms. Aids
    We could call her an Operating Clam: O.C.
    * From her own words https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBcF6IPREW8 A wag described the career of her husband, bit actor Bohdi Elfman, as “Pimp for horses.”

    Jeff Pomeranz Nicknames 
    Wears his pants too tight.

    Karin Pouw
    Baghdad Bob of clams.
    Delegated Mouthpiece
    Karin “Three Foot Pompadore in a dress” Kapouw Suckas 
    Karin KaPow
    spokes liar
    spokeshole

    Jaden Smith – Nicknames and Things Said about Jaden was schooled in a $cientology environment. Note: even though he’s a child, his behavior is so outrageous, it bears commenting.
    Daddy’s Dreadfully Dreadlocked Douchebag
    Fresh Douche of Bel Air
    He is an attention seeking missile with no guidance system.
    Hollywood über-douchebag brat 
    Janoxious Child
    Jazzen Smithereen
    Just-A Douche
    Mini Douchetard
    The Bad Tempered Kid Part III
    The Karotid Kid 
    The Kid No One Wanted To Have Over For Dinner Despite The Dad
    Will’s Worthless Wonder Child of Woe

    Willow & Jaden Smith – Nicknames and Things Said about
    Pufnstuff kids

    John Travolta
    Heavyweight cult intellectual
    Travolta chia-head
    Travolting

    —————————————————————————————————–
    Joy Villa
    There once was a gal called Joy Villa
    Who wore that orange “dress” – such a thrill-ah
    It showed lots of tush, some thought they saw bush
    And Dave? He “went off” like Godzilla.

    JoJo Zawawi
    Gestapo non grata