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Science Fiction smackdown: L. Ron Hubbard, the pith helmet-wearing ‘pipsqueak Prometheus’

HubbardPith

[Hubbard in pith helmet, Puerto Rico, 1932]

Yesterday, we had fun exhuming L. Ron Hubbard’s bad science fiction by looking at a telling 1940 short story, “One Was Stubborn.” In it, Hubbard’s main character, Old Shellback, reveals that the downfall of the United States would come as a result of nefarious religious cults protected by tax exemption. Spooky, right?

Well, continuing with the subject of Hubbard’s fiction, we have been sent a gift by one of our readers. It’s the full original edition of author William Blackbeard’s damning analysis of Hubbard’s work, published just as Dianetics was coming out in May 1950.

Blackbeard’s piece, “Pipsqueak Prometheus: Some Remarks on the Writings of L. Ron Hubbard,” came to our attention last month when we published a document that researcher R.M. Seibert had pried out of the Food and Drug Administration as part of the FDA’s long investigation of Hubbard and Scientology from 1958 to 1971. In 1970, FDA inspectors interviewed science fiction fan and New Jersey resident Sam Moskowitz, who had witnessed Hubbard say at a 1948 science fiction gathering that “the only way to make a million dollars was to form your own religion.”

When the inspectors asked Moskowitz for other sources of information they could turn to about Hubbard, he mentioned that author William Blackbeard had written the harsh takedown about Hubbard’s fiction in 1948. Actually, it appeared in the Los Angeles science fiction fanzine “Shangri La” in 1950. One of our readers managed to get his hands on a copy at eBay, and then sent us scans of “Pipsqueak Prometheus.”

It’s pretty fun. Blackbeard is actually pretty charitable, giving Hubbard credit for writing one really arresting novel, 1940’s Fear. (Harlan Ellison, when we visited him a few years ago, also pointed to Fear as Hubbard’s best work and a novel he holds in high esteem.) But for the most part, Blackbeard writes, Hubbard composes too quickly and too sloppily, relying on the same tired stereotypes over and over. And when Hubbard is called on it, he tries to sidestep criticism by saying his pulp writing is done for money and even he doesn’t take it seriously. That’s a weak dodge, Blackbeard says, especially when it’s clear that Hubbard can produce quality work on occasion. It was also clear that Blackbeard didn’t think much of Dianetics.

 
ShangrLA

 
Blackbeard opens his essay by saying that he had once seen a photograph of Hubbard wearing a pith helmet in the offices of a New York pulp editor, and it struck him as an essential image of the man, and that Hubbard’s pith helmet had entirely enveloped him.

Hubbard’s faults, Blackbeard says, could be found in his first published work of science fiction, the 1938 short story “The Dangerous Dimension,” which appeared in Astounding Science-Fiction.. “This initial work, brief though it is and hastily written, contains in seedling form nearly every point which I wish to make about Hubbard’s writing, points which later grew to become monstrously evident in most of his major fiction and sent clotting branches into nearly everything else he wrote,” Blackbeard writes.

In the story, there’s an absent-minded scientists named Dr. Henry Mudge who has a fantastic ability that “whisks him about from place to place.” The meek man with miracle powers is a stereotype that shows up time and again in Hubbard’s writing, Blackbeard says. And so do his female characters, a motherly Mrs. Doolin and another woman who, it’s implied, is a prostitute. And not only will these types show up repeatedly, but so does Hubbard’s comic strip ejaculations like “WHOOOoosh!” and “Whup!”

Blackbeard considers the notion that Hubbard falls back on such stereotypes because he’s pretty up front about the idea that he’s not trying very hard for the stuff he sells to the pulps. But Hubbard has shown some quality, even in the pulps, he points out, so it’s a weak excuse.

Getting back to his analysis, Blackbeard states outright that “Hubbard is not a good writer.” His writing is “slovenly, ill-paced (meandering at one point and breaking into a halting gallp at another for no apparent reason), confused, and possesses a tendency to telegraph what little punch it is able to develop.”

Blackbeard wonders if this is partly because Hubbard tries to put together disparate styles, mashing up Dickens with contemporary pulp, for example. He points to a particular passage, which has a scientists sitting at his desk pondering problems with a quill pen in his hand, and sitting at a “rickety desk” like he was Bob Cratchit.

“This incomprehensible gibberish is typical of much that passes for writing in Hubbard’s works; there are worse passages (particularly in Dianetics),” Blackbeard writes. And he has a theory for what motivates Hubbard to put out such “gibberish.” Blackbeard proposes that Hubbard has a “subconscious desire to create a work of genuine and lasting artistic or practical worth, of which he is subconsciously convinced he is incapable,” he writes. “This has led to his ‘exploring,’ to his ‘studies’ in hypnotism, to his postulation of Dianetic ‘therapy,’ to his insufferable ego (see the introduction to the book edition of Final Blackout, for a prime example of this), to his Major Hoople references to past achievements of a largely fictitious nature (see the article by Hubbard, written under a pseudonym, in Air Trails for April, 1949, in which he makes praising reference to his considerable research work in the aeronautical field under discussion — which he most certainly never undertook in any extensive degree), and to each and all of those aspects of the Hubbard nature which have astounded, shocked, and puzzled his acquaintances — Hubbard probably is incapable of true friendship or love for anyone other than himself, excepting a sort of eager dependence, concealed in snobbish condescension, he probably feels toward those who see him in his own terms and treat him accordingly — for so many years.”

It’s like the man is able to read Hubbard’s mind, isn’t it? Truly a remarkable assessment, and one that seems spot-on.

Bill Blackbeard died in Watsonville, California in 2011 at 84. He is remembered as “the man who saved the comics,” and we found a fascinating remembrance of him here.

 
——————–

Bonus photos from our tipsters

Actual caption: “The Final 40 recruitment game (the final 40 staff needed to go Double Saint Hill Size by March 13th) has launched!!! #39 just joined the ranks… Very well done and welcome aboard to Anna Sotomayor!!” Tampa, “Double Saint Hill Size.” Oh, the delusion, it burns.

 
SciTampa7

 
Hey, girl. Let’s survive the Denver winter together.

 
SciDenver13

 
Hey, girl. I’ve just completed my hatting at the Hubbard College of Administration in Los Angeles.

 
HCAofLA2

 
——————–

3D-UnbreakablePosted by Tony Ortega on February 16, 2016 at 07:00

E-mail tips and story ideas to tonyo94 AT gmail DOT com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Our book, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely: How the Church of Scientology tried to destroy Paulette Cooper, is on sale at Amazon in paperback and Kindle editions. We’ve posted photographs of Paulette and scenes from her life at a separate location. Reader Sookie put together a complete index. More information about the book, and our 2015 book tour, can also be found at the book’s dedicated page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of L.A. attorney and former church member Vance Woodward
UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists
GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice
SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

Other links: Shelly Miscavige, ten years gone | The Lisa McPherson story told in real time | The Cathriona White stories | The Leah Remini ‘Knowledge Reports’ | Hear audio of a Scientology excommunication | Scientology’s little day care of horrors | Whatever happened to Steve Fishman? | Felony charges for Scientology’s drug rehab scam | Why Scientology digs bomb-proof vaults in the desert | PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer | The mystery of the richest Scientologist and his wayward sons | Scientology’s shocking mistreatment of the mentally ill | Scientology boasts about assistance from Google | The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

Our Guide to Alex Gibney’s film ‘Going Clear,’ and our pages about its principal figures…
Jason Beghe | Tom DeVocht | Sara Goldberg | Paul Haggis | Mark “Marty” Rathbun | Mike Rinder | Spanky Taylor | Hana Whitfield

 

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  • MostEthicalPimp

    “Hubbard composes too quickly and too sloppily.” This said of a man who went on give this jewel of advice: “POWER EQUALS THE SPEED OF PARTICLE FLOW.”

    • flyonthewall

      does that mean how hard you can throw something?

      • beauty for ashes

        how fast you can pour batter into cupcake tins without spilling

        • flyonthewall

          BAM!

          • beauty for ashes

            “whup!”

            • ze moo

              Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel……

  • Mockingbird

    I feel so dumb. Has anyone pointed out that Hubbard is called the pipsqueak Prometheus because he said Dianetics is more important to man than the discovery of fire which Prometheus in myth gave us ?

    And regarding Hubbard’s monumental misogyny amusingly by pounding in my head the idea that we are all quadrillions of years old spirits that entirely lacked gender as a Scientologist I saw NO differences in character between men and women !

    I thought they were all either not real or a put on ! So Hubbard’s lies created the reverse of his own opinions in others ! Doh !

  • BosonStark

    Hubbard may not have discovered Puerto Rico, but he was the first person to audit it. After sleeping with Mongolian bandits and hunting with Filipino pygmies, who happened to be visiting Puerto Rico, Hubbard pronounced the island “clear.”

    • And then abandoned ship and deserted his clusterfuck Caribbean Motion Picture Expedition, leaving his fellows to hang him merely in effigy.

  • Supper Powers

    For us latecomers, there’s a new post by Shelton up.
    http://mncriticalthinking.com/author/skepticalseeker/

  • ze moo

    I just love the pith helmet in the Puerto Rico picture. Lroon, the great explorer. Or did he just get lost on the Ron Rico distillery tour? F5

  • Blackbeard vs. Blackheart.

  • Jimmy3

    I was just staring at my phone, thinking “You are going to ring soon!” and all the sudden it lit up and starting ringing! Hah! Postulate that!!!
    It only took 5 hours too.

    • beauty for ashes

      “WHOOoosh,” and, conversely “whooOOSH!”) 🙂

      • aegerprimo

        …and so on…

    • Helen Van Patterson Patton

      Where are you at on the bridge?

      • Missionary Kid

        Under it. He’s a troll, but a very nice troll.

        • Helen Van Patterson Patton

          I can see that. Complete with unicorn.
          f5
          [img]http://i.imgur.com/tF6foiD.jpg[/img]

          • flyonthewall

            least he has a froggy friend. That’s nice

            • aegerprimo

              Watch out Fly! You know what frogs do to flies.

            • flyonthewall

              Jimmy will protect me. It’s a domesticated frog, I can tell

            • aegerprimo

              Maybe he is gonna share in some mighty fine wine.

            • Jimmy3

              That’s my bro Jeremiah
              http://youtu.be/yf-d-Ka30EY

          • Missionary Kid

            *Snickersnort* 🙂

      • Jimmy3

        I was almost halfway, but a ship came and they opened it. I slid back to the start. 🙁

        • Helen Van Patterson Patton

          No worries. You can get case gain by donating to the IAS. Will that be cash, check, or charge? Savings? Pension? Third mortgage?

        • Observer

          ..

  • Lousy Ratatouille

    Here is a vid of a young guy disccussing Hubbard’s novel Fear. What he particularly gets out of it is: Don’t mess with what you don’t understand.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feml-hbOxzY

  • aegerprimo

    Pipsqueak in a Pith Helmet….
    (refresh)

    • beauty for ashes

      aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh it’s back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I forgot how terrifying that thing is!

    • OOkpik

      Gaaah!
      Ith thtill a pithy thculpture— the hat don’t help.

      • aegerprimo

        There is NO WAY to make that errr…. sculpture (thing) look better. We can shoop it for smiles though!

        • OOkpik

          Moar! 🙂

          • aegerprimo

            Heh heh… I could never keep up with the shooping talent of Obs, Mark and Nat.

            • OOkpik

              It’s well done…kind of like lipstick on a pig’s ass, but the shoopping is great.

    • Vaquera

    • Observer

      Love it!

  • Nat-leficent

    Hubbard knew he was a lazy hack. The anxiety of “The Affirmations” on the topic of writing exemplify that.

    • beauty for ashes

      Does he ever write anything instructive as to when you actually make mistakes? What an effin narcissist blob.

      • Observer

        Yes: it’s your fault because you’re an SP or PTS

        • aegerprimo

          …or degraded being.

    • Ella Raitch

      You can carry on a wild social life and still write one hundred thousand words a month or more

      That about sums up his dedication to his craft

    • Observer

      I’m jealous I didn’t think of this. VWD!

    • Mockingbird

      So stolen for reposting !

  • Observer

    With apologies to Nat for encroaching on her territory, but this had to be done.

    • Ella Raitch

      That’s evil

      • Observer

        Yes it is.

    • flyonthewall

      Nice! It’s like one of those cards you turn and the picture changes. You know what I’m talkin’ ’bout Willis

      • Helen Van Patterson Patton

        I remember those. They used to come inside Cracker Jack.

      • Observer

        Lenticular prints.

        • flyonthewall

          that’s it! You know the words. You haz good brain

          • Observer

            I had to look it up like three times before I could remember it, but it finally stuck.

            • flyonthewall

              i couldn’t describe it to Google in a way that would generate a relevant search result. “Come on Google, I know you know wtf I’m talking about!”

    • Nat-leficent

      Never worry about that! I was upset about some other aspect, not the giffing itself. I’m not a monster!

      • Observer

        <3

  • jazzlover

    For Bowie fans:

    Dated today, this is by far the best remembrance I’ve read:

    http://www.rockcellarmagazine.com/2016/02/08/david-bowie-carlos-alomar-interview-golden-years/#sthash.68rNOpZk.dpbs

  • I suppose that one explanation for Hubbard’s legend as a non-stop writer which is contradicted by his non-exceptional number of published works could be due to a lousy sales rate.

    He doesn’t strike me as an author who learned to write what editors will buy, listened to criticism, or spent the time to learn and grow as a writer. I doubt he was happy doing revisions. It’s possible that when one of his stories fell out the bottom of the market, he simply pitched it and banged off another one. (His frequent moves may have limited what he kept too.)

    • OOkpik

      Bingo!
      It’s mental diarrhea on paper.

    • aegerprimo

      His educational background indicates he had no desire to study how to be a good writer.
      ETA: I’d like to provide links to some of Tony’s articles here at the Bunker about L Ron Hubbard’s school transcripts. I do have a link to his brief semester in college though…
      http://www.xenu-directory.net/documents/hubbard-gwu.html

      • Observer

        He didn’t need to. He was a natural-born polymath, don’t you know.

        • Jimmy3

          But he had to work at polygamy.

        • Mockingbird

          He mixed up polygamy and polymath and pornographic memory and photographic. It happens.

  • Observer

    Well, that’s just great. Now the stainless steel plates with inert gases in titanium boxes are obsolete. Does Captain Miscavige know about this?

    http://gizmodo.com/optical-data-storage-squeezes-360tb-on-to-a-quartz-disc-1759359652?utm_campaign=socialflow_gizmodo_facebook&utm_source=gizmodo_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow

    • Free Minds, Free Hearts

      Obs, good catch! Shelly will have to change jobs.

    • Captain MustSavage

      Wow. Don’t need no underground vaults for those things either. Article mentions they’re saving the Magna Carta, Newtons Optiks, Declaration of Human Rights…. literature that actually warrants saving.

    • Kestrel

      Let the fundraising for CST begin!

    • Madison KinSmed

      He probably will react to it in the same timely manner he reacted to the Web…

  • Neither Hubbard nor Miscavige seem to understand Woman.

    1. Woman are people, just like you.
    2. They also gave you birth and raised you.
    3. They are smart, clever, funny and strong.
    4. They can help you financially.
    5. They can bring you back to life.
    6. No one will love you more than a woman, even if you are a bad thetan.

    • flyonthewall

      I agree. Especially with #5. Necromancer voodoo women are the best

      • Observer

        You know this from experience? It might explain some things.

        • flyonthewall

          brains! braaains!

      • ….

    • Mockingbird

      They both have serious mental health issues. Well Hubbard’s may be over.

    • Phil McKraken

      You forgot to mention:

      7. They tried to abort you with a coat hanger.
      8. They cramped your style when pushing too hard on a bowel movement.
      9. They had sex while carrying you, causing you to get poked in the head.

      • flyonthewall

        lol, poked in the head

        • With a dick.

          • flyonthewall

            LOL gtfo right now. Oh no thats too much

      • And yet we are here.

  • Mockingbird

    Way, way OT but there are Justice Scalia conspiracy truthers and Donald Trump is among them ! The prevailing theories are either the President had him murdered or, get this, ALIENS, and I don’t mean the kind Trump calls murderers and rapists !

    This shit is so fucked up it’s positively Scientological.

    http://us.blastingnews.com/news/2016/02/donald-trump-promotes-conspiracy-theory-that-antonin-scalia-was-murdered-00792279.html

    • Doc M

      Bird, don’t pay attention, watch Pro wrestling, there is more substance.
      If you get upset, you’re playing Trumps game and he wins.

      It’s all theater.

      • Mockingbird

        Unfortunately he has galvanized white supremacist groups and they are a real danger.

        • Doc M

          It will pass, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson did the same a generation ago.

          • Mockingbird

            I hope it does but they are real trouble and have already been violent. It’s very disturbing.

    • scottmercer

      Here’s the funniest one. Leonard Nimoy (who’s not really dead, but faked his death, you see) had Scalia killed so that Obama…Bilderbergers….something something. http://harddawn.com/nimoy-and-obama-killed-scalia/

      • Mockingbird

        Seriously ?

    • Free Minds, Free Hearts

      No seriously, aliens? Maybe Trump should join $cientology, I hear the cult is recruiting…

      • Todd Tomorrow

        Who is the trump guy?

      • Mockingbird

        He is narcissistic and has billions to donate !

    • salin

      The only response I can conjour up is rolling my eyes. Demonize education and academics and scientists for enough generations, and eventually the anti-intellectualism will create a growing audience that would accept the ridiculous as a credible explanation.

      • Mockingbird

        Ridiculous to the extreme.

      • sashiebgood

        I would just like to say here that Mike Judge is some kind of prophet,
        We are turning into “Idiocracy”

  • Mockingbird

    Jazzlover just got me thinking. Imagine you are Chick Corea or TC or JT and you realize on your deathbed that Scientology must be a pack of lies ! What do you do ?

    • Get drunk and post on the Internet. Contact Tony.

      • scottmercer

        Yeah, get a recorder and start dictating.

      • Mockingbird

        Ha ha ! 🙂

    • jazzlover

      Kill yourself several times in order to eliminate as many future lives as possible all in one fell swoop.

      • Doc M

        You’re living in NY, that’s punishment enough.

      • Doc M

        I had another thought, for you Jazz….Self Flagellation.

        If you need to come to SF and attend the Folsom Street Fair. They’ll teach you.

        • jazzlover

          LOL. Yeah, no. If you’re referring to the non-physical side of self-criticism, haven’t you and I (a Jew and an Italian) practiced that enough? 😉

          • Doc M

            Part of the blood, and too much fun. Kind sick…isn’t it?

            • jazzlover

              Absolutely. From my experience, Italians are Jews who happen to believe in Jesus Christ 🙂

      • Mockingbird

        Uh…but the point is you realized the future lives are a fraud !

        • jazzlover

          Good point! It’s difficult to imagine how one would feel in such a situation. Deep regret and intense panic would probably be on the list of possibilities. Feelings like those probably render anything else moot.

          • Kay

            Well it reminds me of a line from the movie “Man for all Seasons” about Sir Thomas More, where Cardinal Wolsey, after all of the dastardly deeds he has done for King Henry VIII (including executions, procuring women, banishments for life in the tower, and pretty much anything asked of him) is finally old and sick, and left to die alone on a stone slab in a cold tower. The soldiers come to get his seal of office and he says to them “If I had served my God even half as well as I served my King, he would not have left me alone to die in this place.” I highly doubt that DM or his sycophants would be at anyone’s deathbed who had “served” them well for their entire life, or that they would do anything. I mean, truly, the man doesn’t even care if his own father dies.

            • jazzlover

              You’re right, and that’s a good analogy, Kay!

          • Mockingbird

            I know that is how I felt when I realized Scientology is a harmful fraud. Talk about a downer.

            • jazzlover

              Well, at least it didn’t happen as you were running out of time. That’s gotta be a whole other level of panic and regret.

            • Mockingbird

              Yes, and while I am no saint I was never in OSA and didn’t ruin people utterly for the cult, though I put my family through hell.

              And if you donate millions of dollars then discover the money funds OSA and the legal Rube Goldberg devices to escape accountability that is another type of responsibility in itself.

        • Kay

          True, but hey never hurts to be thorough just in case !

          • Mockingbird

            Doh !

      • Kay

        LOL !!

    • Doc M

      When I make a mistake, and I’ve made some big ones, I move on and try not to obsess over it. If I’ve hurt people, I felt horrible guilt and try to to what I can to correct it, many times though I can’t.

      If Chick, on his death bed, realized that he’d been duped, what can he do? He’ll feel bad and stupid (as we all do at times), but at least he can comfort himself knowing that he produced music that touched many of us in a positive way.

      • Doc M

        As an addendum
        We all do good things and bad things, hurt people unintentionally. If the good outweighs the bad, I suppose it’s a good thing.
        No one ever gave us the text book on right and wrong, we learn hopefully by experience.

      • MaxSpaceman

        Or or or or he could, or Chick might just, or he might

        Roll out of bed, stagger over to the keyboard, hit the record key, and compose a “My Life in Reprise” by Chick.

    • Todd Tomorrow

      Take a big shot of Vistaril; butt load

  • Phil McKraken

    You gotta read this!!!

    I was doing some digging to find contemporaneous reviews of George R.R. Martin’s earlier works, and I came across this summary of recent science fiction from the NY Times in January 1986. At the bottom is a skewering of Blubbard’s then recent fiction (Mission Earth) that will remind you of the document featured in today’s post. Some choice quotes:

    http://www.nytimes.com/1986/01/12/books/science-fiction.html

    “… the plots were hackneyed in the extreme, the characters were thoroughly obnoxious (although not in any interesting way) and the sentences sounded as if they had been created on a non-English-speaking word-processor.”

    “In his introduction, Mr. Hubbard assures us that what follows is satire, a form of literature whose origins he carefully explains in what I take to be a satire on ponderous, self-serving pseudoscholarship.”

    “… a disregard of conventional grammar so global as to suggest a satire on the possibility of communication through language.”

    • scottmercer

      Wow, that New York Times review would probably have been the worst kind of review to Hubbard: dismissive and terse, giving only the minimum (and deserved) amount of consideration to Hubbard as an author, intellect and human being.

      • Qbird

        Maybe that’s what killed him!
        Published: January 12, 1986
        LRon died: January 24, 1986

    • Qbird

      In 1950, William Blackbeard wrote:
      “Perhaps it will be different with a “cleared” Hubbard; we shall see.”

      In 1964 James Phelan [Saturday Evening Post]

      Perhaps it will provide the definitive answer to a question that some of his enemies have raised. They have said that the very man who had discovered the “clear,” had never himself been processed to that high plateau of almost super- human ability.

      “That is the wildest pitch I’ve ever heard,” he [Dr. Scn. L. Ron Hubbard, Ph.D] said with indignation. “Of course. I’ve been processed to ‘clear.’ “

      Gerald Jonas for the NYTimes in 1986 – Ah!!! We see!

  • MaxSpaceman

    “Pipsqueak Prometheus.” On L Ron Hubbard. By William Blackbeard. Highlights–

    “Hubbard’s thinking is inescapably bound to pre-conceived, unquestioned, and ironclad patterns, images, and attitudes of thought, whether he is consciously aware of it or not.

    “… basic aspect of the Hubbard Character: inability to accept responsibility for an action or postulated thought…

    “… [Hubbard’s critics of Diantetics] in short, anyone who does not see the light in this idea [Dianetics] must be unable to do so because he is partially or wholly in the dark

    “Hubbard’s style of writing is clumsy, makeshift, and erratic because the author’s thought-processes are likewise clumsy, makeshift, and erratic.

    “Uncertain of an idea, uncertain of a conception, sure only that if he pounds long enough at it and hard enough at it on his typewriter that it will shortly emerge in some form of reasonably toothsome malarkey,

    “… his insufferable ego (see the introduction to the book edition of Final Blackout, for a prime example of this)

    “Hubbard probably is incapable of true friendship or love for anyone other than himself, excepting a sort of eager dependence, concealed in snobbish condescension, he probably feels toward those who see him in his own terms and treat him accordingly.”

    Blackbeard’s insights into Hubbard, his writing, his life, his mind, are astonishing. Deep. And true to the core.

  • Beautiful Cultic Music Video for your pleasure:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CSFkjPm0A0

    • Newiga

      Love this song! I missed seeing them perform a couple of weeks back. I kicked myself in the head for it. 🙁

  • I love it how most religions/cults stay away from rock/metal music.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qS5-QmkKzJQ

  • Jimmy3

    Well it’s been 2 days and no sign of it. I think it’s safe to say Scientology cured me of leprosy.

    • salin

      Jimmy, that wasn’t leprosy, it was poison ivy. If you don’t scratch it, it goes away. Word clearing, perhaps, distracted you from itching til the poison ivy ran its course.

    • Nat-leficent
  • salin

    Wild active auroras earlier tonight. Will link first the source (a Nasa site that folks send their photos to) and then link a small sampling for photos from today. Share my joy of viewing auroras as a reminder for folks to remember to share appreciation for the day’s post by our proprietor, and the ensuing comments. Click Recommend (just under the comment count) and the heart by the recommend, will beat.

    An aside, real time life delivered several big shifts within the last week. All is fine, but time is going to be short – and won’t be able to post as frequently for the next 4 weeks or so. That said, it is a good sign of healing – as I don’t think I could have marshaled up the energy to take on these commitments a month or so ago. *Smiling and sending thanks to the Bunker for your support.*

    Gallery of realtime photos of Aurora’s sent from across the globe: http://spaceweathergallery.com/aurora_gallery.html

    Sampling of amazing pictures of Auroras that appeared today:

    Finnish Lapland: http://spaceweathergallery.com/indiv_upload.php?upload_id=122870&PHPSESSID=3ghrrpnmnk2drtai1tlp4bu6i1

    Iceland: http://spaceweathergallery.com/indiv_upload.php?upload_id=122869&PHPSESSID=3ghrrpnmnk2drtai1tlp4bu6i1

    Denmark: http://spaceweathergallery.com/indiv_upload.php?upload_id=122864&PHPSESSID=3ghrrpnmnk2drtai1tlp4bu6i1

    Sweden: http://spaceweathergallery.com/indiv_upload.php?upload_id=122854&PHPSESSID=3ghrrpnmnk2drtai1tlp4bu6i1

    • jazzlover

      Sure, ya use and abuse us and when we’ve served our purpose, it’s sayonara 😉 (just kidding)

      Great to hear things are getting better.

      • salin

        Thanks jazzlover.

        • jazzlover

          You’re very welcome. Hope everything works out, and that you check in as time allows.

          • salin

            I intend to.

    • Kestrel

      Thank you for sharing these beautiful photographs.

    • Madison KinSmed

      Lurv these! & Best ‘o luck in the coming weeks!

      • salin

        Thanks. Appreciate it.

    • beauty for ashes

      MWAH! MWAH! Proud of you, but also take care of you just in case too. <3 <3 <3

    • That’s the intro to the 1991 Galaxy Press version. (Algis Budrys, not a Scientologist but, sucking deep on the kool-aid.) I believe William Blackbeard is referring to the Preface below that was written by Hubbard in 1948.

  • Aslan’s Own

    No matter how bad a mood I’m in, as soon as I see “Hey, girl” in a post I start laughing.

    • beauty for ashes

      Whenever I see your avatar, I always want to pet that lion. He just looks so soft!

      • Aslan’s Own

        I know — he really does! And he is Aslan, so you probably could pet him without any fear. 😉

        I love lions. One thing I hope I can do before I shuffle off this mortal coil (or whatever that expression is) is go to Africa and see all the animals. BTW, I love your name. Is it from Isaiah 61:3?

        • beauty for ashes

          Yes, it is, which I always say is like a poem. I heard it after I started researching scientology, and just seeing the families destroyed broke my heart. Beauty for ashes is such a powerful idea. I felt like it encompassed how I felt and what I wanted to say.
          Also I thought selfishly how nice of a nickname would Beauty be? I wouldn’t mind if people referred to me as that!
          I have always wanted to live a year in Africa too. Meet the people see the customs and culture, and of course the animals. Now I don’t think the lions there would be as kind as Aslan, who like you said would allow you stroke your fingers through his mane. and maybe even nuzzle his nose. How cute would that be?

          • Aslan’s Own

            That whole passage certainly does bring to mind the mourning and despair of the families. I love the promise of the comfort, beauty and joy they can be replaced with….let’s hope that happens soon for them.

            I would be careful not to pet any African lions, as much as I’d be tempted to! I love your thought of nuzzling with Aslan! 🙂

  • Dee Findlay-DeElizabethan

    Boy what a hassle with Disquis. go through this each month it seems.

    • jazzlover

      Down with disqus, up with anarchy! 😉

  • Kay

    I have had the hiccups now for 12 hours straight. Yes, I have tried EVERY remedy suggested by everyone..including medical help (I asked Mr. Kay first…..who said “Oh just live with it, it will stop eventually, now can I PLEASE turn the channel to ESPN…I loathe Turner Class Movies with Betty Davis….her bug eyes creep me out” Well…..doesn’t my sounding like a deranged cricket BUG you out as well ???? No response. He really is a good guy…he’s just, well a GUY when it comes to sports. So I got online..some of the cures are beyond hilarious and of course none of them work.

    As a result of these very annoying hiccups, I find that I cannot summon up enough intellectual ability or concentration to read Tony’s post today. (Do hiccups somehow disrupt neurological transmissions through the pariental lobe of the brain, the specific area where language/reading is interpreted? I’m beginning to wonder.)

    All I was able to absorb, literally, was that LRH was a really crappy writer (big surprise), that he made up words when he got lazy/lazier, and that critics thought him quite absurd. Maybe that was the most interesting part anyway. Sorry Tony, I usually read (hic) every word (hic, hic…dammm)

    • jazzlover

      Wish I had a remedy for you. That’s really gotta suck. Is there a doctor in the house?

      • Kay

        Yup, Mr. Kay is an ER doctor…..and is sitting here watching ESPN. He says sometimes Thorazine works, but I can’t take Thorazine. So he said, “Well, sorry no other suggestions.” (at the commercial break of course….guess he had to think about it…LOL)

        • jazzlover

          What good is being married to a doctor if he can’t prescribe drugs for you willy nilly to mask that there really are no cures? 😉 Hopefully you can get to sleep.

          • Kay

            LOL !!! Thanks I hope I can sleep eventually.

            • jazzlover

              I was gonna saw that sleep would stop the hiccups 🙂 I’m sure your hubby is hoping for the same thing.

            • Kay

              I’m sure he is….he worked 12 hours today so he hasn’t been around me for that long, and now he is absorbed in a game he TVO’d. However, I assume later on, he WILL find this annoying.

    • Jimmy3

      Taking in a deep breath and holding it usually works for me.

      • Kay

        I tried that, and tried that silly drinking water thing upside down…tried straight lemon juice on my tongue also. I tried spicy salsa…that didn’t work. I do have a friend who is 80 years old and SWEARS that pineapple juice chilled with ice cures the hiccups every single time, so I’m going to go to the store to get some. I’ll be interested to see if that works. If she’s 80, she ought to know good folk remedies.

    • Supper Powers

      I scream at the top of my lungs to try to get my diaphragm to let up. The neighbors love that.

      • Kay

        What a GREAT idea !!! I have a couple of neighbors that I would very much enjoy screaming at the top of lungs for no reason this time of night. I think I’ll go do that from the top floor…that will be fun !!!

    • Jimmy3

      Btw, I would have killed myself 11 1/2 hours ago. I hate the hiccups so damn much. But since I started taking courses, I haven’t had them. Scientology can help you with this.

      • Kay

        Laugh !!!! I should go dig out a couple of old soup cans and see if it works !!! Hiccups are just such an odd phenomenon, truly. What purpose do they serve other than to make you feel like you are going crazy.

    • salin

      Mom had a good solution – worked most of the time. Forgive me, in missing her I can’t help but pass on her advice (as if you haven’t received enough ‘advice’.) Raise your hands above your head – then raise them higher (by another 3-6 inches) such that you shift your rib position in relation to your diaphragm position. While changing this position, hold your breath for a slow 5+ seconds, and exhale slowly.

      For most case of hiccups, you have a few more hiccups, and then it ends. Sometimes the hiccups persist a few minutes longer. I have no idea why it often works. And maybe it only works for me like a plaecbo/power of suggestion.

      • Kay

        I really appreciate that, and you can pass along ANY advice from your Mom anytime to me. I lost my Mom about 10 years ago after having her with me for around 20 years, and it was just the hardest thing ever. There’s nothing like a Mom, truly. (at least nothing like a really great Mom)

        • salin

          Thanks – I am still adjusting to having to rely on memories rather than being able to talk to her (she past a few days before Thanksgiving.) Glad to read between the lines that what you learned from her – stays with you 10 yrs later. Bundles of comfort in some of those memories.

          Regarding hiccups, Mom didn’t have a treasure trove of home remedies, only a few. This one usually worked. Hope it helps. Greatly appreciate the joint moment of appreciating our late moms.

          • Kay

            Me too…..I adored my mother and can tell that you felt the same way about yours. Those feelings never go away, no matter how long. The sadness lessens, but the really good memories stay, and interestingly, I find myself remembering things I had not thought of in years at just the right time that I needed that memory to help me. ((hugs))

            • salin

              Very comforting vision of the future – when the waves of grief lessen – and the good memories give comfort, thanks Kay. ((hugs)).

            • Kay

              🙂

      • Supper Powers

        That’s stellar Mom advice.

    • Liberated

      I don’t have a remedy either, I know how bothersome it is. My problem is excessively watery eyes. My tears are never-ending. For what it’s worth, Betty Davis’s eyes bug me too. Hope hiccups go away soon!

      • Kay

        LOL about Betty Davis’s eyes !! I had really never thought of it until Mr. Kay said “I know you like her, but puhleez I can’t take it.” Of course that is a very convenient excuse to switch to the sports channel as well, but I think he was being sincere. He said he’ll go get me pineapple juice in a few minutes so that I can try that as well.

    • Doc M

      Hiccups is the diaphragm in spasm.

      Try massaging the diaphragm…deep but not too deep. Go in in inhalation.
      This generally should work, if done correctly.

      Also do it lying on your back, knees up, feet flat which relaxes the diaphragm, like when you’re palpating the abdomen.

      • Kay

        Thanks for the suggestion. I tried that earlier, but it didn’t work. (It has worked before when I’ve tried it) Maybe I didn’t do it correctly. I’ll try it again. Such a silly thing, but so annoying.

        • Doc M

          You might have to do it a while (5 or 10 minutes), an old Family Doc taught me that years ago, along with a bunch of other pearls (most sadly fogotten by today’s docs).

          • Kay

            I LOVE old medical pearls of wisdom…I think it is so sad that we have lost most of them. I think a lot of them really worked. I remember (this is more modern of course) when they took the pre-cardiac thump out of the ACLS protocol…I thought they were nuts because we had used it on patients and it worked !! Then, lo and behold they put it back in a few years later…sigh. I will try the diaphragm massage for ten minutes.

      • Kay

        P.S. In an uber-dramatic moment with Mr. Kay when he got home from work and I was at my wit’s end, I grabbed a knife and told him that I was going to stab my phrenic nerve followed by my vagus nerve as I was going on 9 hours of this. He did laugh at that, and said “well maybe if I hug you hard enough for long enough that will help” It didn’t, but it was cute anyway.

        • Doc M

          Lol, actually it would probably be easier and more effective if Mr. E.R. doc does it. If he has the patiences.

          • Kay

            Hmm….not a bad idea. I think I shall ask him.

            • Doc M

              Better to threaten to cut his Pudendal than your phrenic or vagus if he doesn’t.

            • Kay

              Hahahahahahaaaaaaaaahahaha !!! That was really funny !!!

        • beauty for ashes

          AWWWWWW!!!!!!

      • Mockingbird

        I thought the diaphragm was birth control ? I am so confused !

        • Doc M

          The make B.C. Diaphragms from the diaphragm muscle of baby ducks. Hence the name.

          • EmmaDaoust

            He’s not really a doctor, he just plays one on TV.

            Oh wait. Really?

          • Kay

            LOL !! You are yanking her chain. Diaphragms used for birth control are made of latex or silicone. No baby duckies gave their lives for birth control diaphragms. You funny.

        • Kay

          The diaphragm we are talking about is the structure at the bottom of your rib cage that goes up and down when you breathe. “Diaphragm” birth control is a device that covers the cervix to prevent pregnancy. Here are some visual aids: (not that you need them,I’m sure you already know this stuff.)

          First: diaphragm for birth control
          Second: anatomical picture of human diaphragm used to breathe.

          • Mockingbird

            I was messing with you !

    • EmmaDaoust

      Okay, I’ll give it a shot. The only thing that has ever worked for me is breathing in a paper bag.

      • Kay

        Really? That’s interesting. They do that in ER’s to slow down hyperventilation but maybe that works on hiccups too.

        • EmmaDaoust

          Works for me every time.

    • TheMirrorThetan

      The only thing that has worked for me in the past is drinking from the wrong side of the glass, but do it over the sink.

      • Kay

        I did do that about two hours ago, and yes it is messy. I have friends that swear by that, but it didn’t work for me. It was fun to try it however.

        • TheMirrorThetan

          Oh bummer.

      • Jimmy3

        All my glasses are round… How do I know which is the wrong side?

        • TheMirrorThetan

          Jimmy, You are such an adorable silly doofus.

          • Jimmy3

            She says she only dropped me once, and it wasn’t on purpose.

            • TheMirrorThetan

              Once a day she meant. 😀

        • Kay

          🙂 This might help !!

      • EmmaDaoust

        DOH!

        • TheMirrorThetan

          Well if you drink carefully you wont spill it. I think the super concentration trying not to spill it is what works. Plus being bent over the sink.

      • Why does that work? It totally works for me every time! My business partner taught it to me. Distraction? Compressing the diaphragm? Placebo?

        • TheMirrorThetan

          I think it is a mixture of all 3. Intense concentrating, while your stomache is pushing against the sink, Is what I figure. It sounds silly but it works for me every time.

          • We called it “drinking upside down.”

    • ShevilKat

      This works for me every time—
      Get a glass of water. Take a deep breath, hold it, and while still holding your breath, take sips of water (and swallow) for at least 10 seconds. Let breath out slowly. Hopefully this helps. : )

    • beauty for ashes

      Jump on a trampoline, smoke a cigarette while meditating on the color pale sage green. Then pray to saint Anthony to help you find your lost normal breathing pattern. <3
      I feel sooper bad for you, I HATE hiccups. I also hate when people offer advice when I don't feel well. I'd much prefer something that would make me laugh. 🙂

    • Susan B.

      Eat a tablespoon of sugar while you bend over forward. you want you head upside-down. If that doesn’t work just keep eating tablespoon after tablespoon until you fall into a sugar coma. You won’t even remember the next day that you had hiccups.

  • Dee Findlay-DeElizabethan

    I’m back and cannot figure it out. All I know is trying to use or change email address is a time consumig project. Glad to be here. But now so tired I have to say good night Bunkers, love you…

    • Kay

      Nitey-nite

    • beauty for ashes

      Night Rev! <3 <3 <3

  • Liberated

    Just wanted to share, a German shorthaired Pointer won Westminster’s best in show.

  • Jimmy3

    Can anyone tell me what this woman is talking about? She’s talking about Tom Cruise, the Church of Scientology and threatening to sue. But over what? https://twitter.com/Agnipolitania

    I could use google to translate, but I don’t want to wade through to find the really relevant tweets.

    • Robert Eckert

      Sounds like Barbara Schwarz level of lunacy.

      • Jimmy3

        The Schwarz is strong with this one?

      • beauty for ashes

        Oh no, I’m not looking. That was a weird rabbit hole.

  • TheMirrorThetan

    Just popping in quick to say Hello.
    It is my 2nd Bunkerversary, well yesterday was.
    Just want to say that you bunch of arseholes are the best. 🙂
    And since everyone else likes to post videos galore on the night shift, here is one of my favourite songs.
    Now I gotta catch up on todays and yesterdays posts.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC5FdFlUcl0

    • MaxSpaceman

      I, tMt, am always honored to be commended for being the best– of the arseholes 🙂

      Thanks! (I think)

      • TheMirrorThetan

        Being the best of the arseholes is much better than being the worst of the arseholes. 🙂

    • SucculentDuck

      Happy 2nd Bunkerversary!

    • Kim O’Brien

      oh my god …i have always loved him …this man’s voice is like sex with butter ….

      ” Dear Penthouse Forum ….” ….

      p.s. ..oh ..and happy anniversary LOL

    • beauty for ashes

      Happy Bunkerversary your Royal Kittehness! May your bunkering continue with as regal dignity as you do today. 🙂

      • TheMirrorThetan

        Thanks Beauty. 🙂

    • Happy One, MT! Great song.

  • JanInThePan

    Sotomayor? That’s not any relation to SCOTUS Judge, is it? God I hope not.

    • Doc M

      It’s a relatively common Latin name

  • JaxNGold

    There are so many gems in Blackbeard’s piece about Hubbard. I cracked up at this one:

    “Rather than face a debate in which something he has produced may be attacked or analyzed disparagingly, Hubbard will attempt to sidestep the entire issue either by dismissing it as a thing beneath discussion: i.e., as in the case of his fiction, viewing it as nothing but contemptible trash in order to disarm criticism in advance; or, as in the case of Dianetics, establishing a simple postulated [idea] based on the totality of meaning implied by the sum of all the postulates advanced in the body of his idea so that the critic, in presenting negative commentary on any portion of the idea, proves himself erratic in direct ratio to the extent of his negative attitude: in short, anyone who does not see the light in this idea must be unable to do so because he is partially or wholly in the dark, and, from Hubbard’s carefully defended position, he seems hoisted by his own petard.”

    It’s incredible to see the parallels so early on. Hubbard was such a slimy weakling — he couldn’t handle anyone criticizing his fiction so he had to try to attack or invalidate the critic. Just like $cientology. Anyone who criticizes $cientology is a “criminal”? What utter nonsense.

    I watched about 20 minutes of the Grammy’s last night and happened to see $cientology’s ad. It actually surprised me (even though I knew those ads were airing) because I’ve never seen one on tv before. It ticked me right off when it got to the part about “We enlighten 26 million people on their human rights”. What bullshit. They do nothing but prey upon people and violate their human rights, then have the colossal nerve to pretend to give a damn. Lying liars.

    • jazzlover

      DM is so simple-minded that he weaponizes hyperbole. “If someone calls us bad, we won’t just disagree, we’ll say we’re awesome”. It’s so transparent that it’s not even funny anymore.

  • tangibly on topic pic from DListed’s caption competition… pretty funny IMO

    • incidentally Cruise’s face really made the world press, lol

      pic

      • Doc M

        People think he’s had work done, but looking at the generalized puffiness, I would bet that’s he’s on steroids for some illness. That’s such a typical steroid look.

        • apart from eczema what illnesses receive steroids as a treatment?

          • Intergalactic Walrus

            Cancer, lupus, arthritis. Have you ever heard of Moon Facies? It was gossiped about being a possible reason Lara Flynn Boyle started to look so strange a while back. I think Tom’s look is a result of trying to look younger though. JMO

          • Doc M

            every type of autoimmune illness and there are plenty, any type of inflammatory illness…the list is huge. also most illnesses where you’re trying to slowdown the progression. It’s one of the most common meds prescribed.

          • Rheumatoid arthritis.

          • TheMirrorThetan

            Asthma/ COPD I think can be treated sometimes with steroids too.

  • Also here’s another bit of clam snark thrown by Michael K that actually involves PaulMcCartney

    pic

    EDIT: just had a minor flash of inspiration…. after reading Michae’ K’s latest (and ongoing) brilliant snark at scientology a thought occurred to me… how about an annual internet awards post called THE CLAMMY’S… awards are given to the best snark thrown at the church… the actual awards themselves could be a collection of the “Diamond Meritorious ” kind of crap that continually appears on ebay…. I think it could be a terrific pull to garner genuine interest for Howdycon for the general media {if that’s where it wants to go}… obviously you’re very unlikely get the nominess to appear and accept but you never know… hell, you might even get some video tributes from ex-celebs…

    Here are a few categories to give you an idea:

    Diamond Meritorious for the most deluded clam celebrity (Cruise a perennial winner, ed)

    Funniest Shoop of the Year

    Most Outrageous Scientology Statement That Is Obviously A Lie

    Most Improved Ex Scientologist – Celeb Award (perfect for a video piece mentioned above)

    Most Improved Ex Scientologist – Public Award

    Funniest Snark Thrown In Comedy Show (loads of stuff out there)

    Funniest Snark Thrown In News report (again, (loads of stuff out there)

    The David Miscavige Award for the Most Deluded Comment Made By A Celeb Scientologist… where would this end?

    …. you get the idea

    …. this could really work people!… THE CLAMMYS!

    ADD YOUR OWN

    http://dlisted.com/2016/02/16/paul-mccartney-couldnt-get-into-tygas-after-party/

    • and serious LOL…. going down further he takes on Joy Villa:

      “Joy Villa looks like a mostly-naked morning-shift hooker who left work early to go to a goth birthday party and on the way was abducted by aliens who imprisoned her for testing. She looks like an alien prison bride and if she keeps dressing like that, Tom Cruise is totally going to hand her a contract and ask her to be his new wife.”

      pic

      http://dlisted.com/2016/02/16/open-post-hosted-by-joy-villa-giving-you-king-crab-alien-abduction-hotness/

      • Robert Eckert

        ” a name that sounds like the name of a clothing-optional gay resort in Palm Springs”

        • jazzlover

          I initially thought he was talking about Fire Island 😉

      • Intergalactic Walrus

        The big ol’ toes hanging off the end of the shoes is always a classy look. Ugh

    • jazzlover

      I heard about that. Shit-headed and basement dwelling Beatles fans were in a frenzy all over the internet. One moron even suggested that Macca-Doo-Doo should hire Beck to produce his next album. Major guffaws!

      • Doc M

        You have to wonder why Paul would even be interested in this type of Party, he’s in his 70″s.

        I would bet that he’s very addicted to the hero worship thing…seriously. 50 years of it, it must be a part of him.

        • jazzlover

          You’re right, and I think that in his quest to “get it back” he’ll do anything. Did you get the email I sent with the Bowie article?

          • Doc M

            haven’t looked yet, it’s a temp yahoo address…I’m generally not logged into yahoo, I’ll check in a couple of minutes…Bowie Article? Thank you.

            • jazzlover

              Interview with Alomar that was published today in Rock Cellar e-zine. Pretty interesting read, and the best remembrance of Bowie I’ve seen from any of his former band mates.

          • if you look at a lot of the photos out there he seemed to be chaperoned by Woody Harrelson… and we know what a pot-head Paul was/is … I’ve hosted him in one of the bars I ran in Soho and saw him in a club in Monte Carlo when I lived there… he’s pretty low-key and relatively friendly; I doubt he was trying to “get it back” as if there’s one person who doesn’t have to prove anything to anybody it’s him

            • jazzlover

              Ok, but what Doc was pointing out is that it’s difficult to give up the “title” when you’re as famous as he is. To me, he hasn’t been musically relevant in over 40 years, so I guess I just see him as having lost it.

            • “hasn’t been musically relevant in over 40 years”

              …. that’s like saying Picasso hasn’t been artistically relevant since his last painting

              I get where you’re coming from but when you say a genuine genius of our ages is “trying to keep in with the kids” I thing you’re way off., I mean, what’s he got to prove?.. I think it’s far worse that that douchebag Tyga [who threw the party] didn’t come out and make some kind of apology/nice comment or whatever but chose to remain silent. I think the fact that he didn’t really make a fuss and laughed it off with the “what’s it take to be famous nowadays” was brilliant… you only have to look at all the other wannabes out there who were denied access to realise a class act when you see one.

            • jazzlover

              When I said “get it back”, I was talking about getting the level of fame back that comes with being adored TODAY. Your comment about Picasso is more true than you think. I grew up on the Beatles; they were my gateway into a love affair with music. But I’ve moved on and used them to evolve and develop other interests. THAT is my problem with most Beatles fans. Generally speaking, they don’t know how to do the same and constantly revel in talking about the days when music was good. They are stuck in 1965, and as a result think that the Beatles were where good music ended. Most focus on the wrong things and haven’t a clue about what music is supposed to be. It’s sad, frustrating, sophomoric, childlike and maddening all at the same time. Go read any music forum and watch how every single oldster claims that all new music sucks. And no, Paul hasn’t been relevant in years because he hasn’t made relevant music in years. It’s the same with the Rolling Stones, who do the same variations on 12 bar blues over and over again. They’re the only Las Vegas legacy/lounge act that doesn’t play Las Vegas.

            • Enturbulated Masterbator

              Thanks. You put onto words what I’ve always thought about the Beatles. I grew up listening to them also but as a kid I was never totally crazy for them. I’m even less interested in them as an adult. I don’t discount their importance or talent. I’m just not a huge fan. Right on about “the day the music died.” There was crap music 50 years ago and crap music today. Same as it ever was.

            • jazzlover

              Bingo. The only difference is that the music industry is no longer populated by people who understood that artists have to be nurtured. Today it’s run by bean counters who want the biggest hits as quickly as possible, and don’t care about artist development. That’s why you get such frequent turnover. Today, even bands like Led Zeppelin would’ve had a difficult time sticking around.

            • Jimmy3

              Does Paul McCartney still sell out tour dates wherever he goes?

            • jazzlover

              To mind-numbed Beatles fans who just want to hear hits that are older than dust itself.

            • Jimmy3

              Does he still sell out the venue?

            • jazzlover

              Record sales and sell-outs do not matter at all. Evolution is the thing, and he hasn’t evolved musically since 1970. And let me clue you into a little know fact — The Stones have been around for like 52 years now. Led Zeppelin, who started 5 years after the Stones, and ended 12 years after that, have more album sales and sold more concert tickets to date. THAT’S staying power, if we’re gonna focus on that sort of stuff. If you want to focus on Paul still selling out venues today, all you’re really saying is that music fans don’t know that they should expect better.

            • Jimmy3

              No, you were talking about relevance. If he’s still selling out wherever he wants to go, he’s still relevant.
              And you’re talking about staying power, too… Again… He still sells out crowds.

            • jazzlover

              ‘Tis all about the Beatles. Period. I’m talking “musical” relevance. I’m not interested in hearing legacy acts. I seek out artists who change, who move forward, who take chances and who aren’t afraid to fail. My favorite band is 47 years old. They have had 8 different incarnations, each playing distinct music that none of the others played. That’s what I’m talking about. I could care less if Paul hangs with the young’ns today as long as he does something different.

              Led Zeppelin has staying power AND is done. They’re not milking the public. There’s a big difference.

              Try not to take this so personally. I’ve been around the musical block a few thousand times and know a thing or two.

            • Jimmy3

              Are his shows musical?

            • “To mind-numbed Beatles fans who just want to hear hits that are older than dust itself.”

              hmmm, methinks any credibility in your previous comments has gone down the plughole… a comment worthy of a troll

              all art is borne from art, to casually say it is no longer relevant because it has’nt ‘evolved enough’ for your own particular tastes is somewhat [and that’s a polite word] naive. And you go on to say “Record sales and sell-outs do not matter at all”… really? futhermore you say “Led Zeppelin has staying power AND is done. They’re not milking the public. There’s a big difference.”… umm, don’t you think the bit were Robert Plant specifically says he doesn’t want to tour might be more to do with it?

              Everyone is entitled to their opinion about the music they like and what they ‘personally’ consider relevant but to dismiss his genius and the genius of others in your various comments is distasteful at the very least.

            • jazzlover

              Really? Troll? Get real. You’re taking this way too personally to have any credibility yourself. I never said I don’t recognize Macca’s genius. But I refuse to keep thanking him for it until I die.

            • Big time

            • Missionary Kid

              Aside from the fact that as a Beatle, McCartney changed the course of popular music, he’s always, IMO, been an excellent balladeer. He isn’t afraid to play with other musicians, (e.g., Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, Edit: the Traveling Wilburys[That was George Harrison]) and he seems to be quite appreciative of other styles of music.

              It is true that McCarney hasn’t made “relevant music” for years, but he isn’t afraid to stretch himself.

              On the other hand, I said, about 20 years ago that “The Rolling Stones and The Beach Boys are the two bands that have gotten away with playing the same old shit.” It is however, good to see Brian Wilson playing again.

              Dylan was another person who had a strong influence on music, and, no, he hasn’t, IMO, come out with anything groundbreaking in years, but he’s still playing and writing.

              There will always be young people who come into music that don’t have any concept of the shoulders of giants that they’re standing on. One of my refrains is, “Youth has no memory.”

            • Intergalactic Walrus

              FYI – it was George Harrison in The Traveling Wilburys and not McCartney 😉

            • Missionary Kid

              Oops, brain fart. Thanks for the correction. I made an edit.

            • jazzlover

              I am no youth, and I have memories because I lived through the Beatles. I recognize what they did, and give credit to McCartney for much of it. However, unlike most music fans my age and older, I try to keep one foot in the past and one looking ahead. There are very few musicians of Macca’s vintage who do the same. Pity. This sounds exactly how Beatles discussions go on forums dedicated to music around the internet. More’s the pity.

            • Missionary Kid

              Since my memories go back to Elvis first appearing on Ed Sullivan, I agree. The thing that happens is that for all of us, when we first discover music,those songs and performers often become our touchstones for the rest of our lives. They become significant to us because they are a part of our discovery of the world around us.

              I remember how older people could relate to big band and swing music, but just didn’t get rock. Many of my contemporaries don’t recognize rap as music. I do, but it’s not my cup of tea – one of the few genres that I don’t appreciate.

            • jazzlover

              Believe me, MK, I get sentimental attachment. What I am saying is that for ME to continue following any given artist, I need for him to give me a reason to do so. Think about this: McCartney’s career has spanned 50+ years at this point. He evolved for 10 of those, and has been resting on the glories of past accomplishments for the rest. You may disagree, but I feel he hasn’t recorded anything that any music fan worth his salt would consider “masterful” during that time. It’s mostly been retreads and sophomoric stoner rock for high school kids since Ram. How on earth is that acceptable. and why on earth would any adventure-seeking music fan be ok with that? I know I’m not, and that’s a HUGE reason why I got into jazz in the first place. I chuckle at all the fogies who say things like ALL new music sucks today! Well, not if you expand your horizons. There is far more good, new jazz being made today than in ANY other musical genre. But (and its shameful), America hates its own creation. And btw, if you want an old dude in rock who doesn’t look back or rest, look to Fripp. He’s only a year or two younger than Macca, no less.

            • Missionary Kid

              It’s true that I don’t really follow McCartney, and that he’s probably been coasting. On the other hand, I look at what he’s been doing as just having fun. That’s OK with me.

              I don’t insist on someone continuing to evolve or making changes.

              Growing up, I started to think that Louie Armstrong sounded like everyone else. I later realized that the reason was that everyone else had copied him. He was, IMO, a seminal influence in jazz, yet jazz moved beyond him. I believe it happens to just about all musical artists.

              I hope that Joey Alexander continues to grow as a musician. That’s the age that Stevie Wonder started.

            • jazzlover

              I don’t insist that an artist evolve either, as long as he’s not coasting on my dime — which is really the point of this. McCartney can live, be happy, have fun and reap all the benefits he’s earned, but count me out on paying for it. Am I disappointed to have left an old “friend” behind? Sure. But I gots to feed my own appetite, if you know what I mean. And part of that is being able to recognize that I DO NOT accept what he does as part of MY love for music, or the relationship I have with it. I wish more people realized that love for music is as conditional and dynamic as love for anything else material. If they want to sit back in their chairs and long for 1965 in 2016, well, that’s unfortunately their loss. On a certain level, I find it offensive to the concept of art itself, but I realize that I am not the average music lover.

              Louis Armstrong is responsible for everything that came after him in jazz. I recognize and appreciate that. The hot 5 and 7 sides are generally recognized as the “Holy Grail” in the jazz community. However, that music is so anachronistic to me that I can only listen in small doses, without eventually feeling like I’m a character in an “Our Gang” short 😉

              We’ll see about Joey Alexander. A lot depends on how his talent is nurtured and who he comes into contact with. On some level, even jazz is filled with producers looking for the next star. If he’s THE ONE, he’s done before he even gets started.

            • Missionary Kid

              I’ve never been a person who would listen to a song over and over. I laugh when stations play “oldies” from the 1990s, because I occasionally enjoy going back to doo-wop and further, to big band and early blues. Just don’t play it over and over for me.

              It’s funny, but I enjoy hearing Armstrong sing almost more than his playing, but again, I usually mix up what I listen to.

              It appears that Joey Alexander has been taken under the wing of Wynton Marsalis. I hope that bodes well for him. Wynton seems to have a bent for teaching all sorts of young musicians. I hope it gives Joey a base to continue expanding on.

            • jazzlover

              I don’t necessarily share this opinion, but Wynton is almost seen as the anti-christ in jazz circles, constantly pushing a return to the “real” jazz of yesteryear. Some even blame him (and Stanley Crouch) for the lack of open-mindedness in Ken Burns’ jazz documentary. There was too little focus on anything that happened after 1960. The best thing that can happen for Joey Alexander is for him to be encouraged to find his own voice, to add something of himself to the form. If he is mentored to only pay tribute in a dogmatic way, he hasn’t a shot. But then, I’m sure you know this, having lived through an era in music where experimentation was seen as a good thing.

            • Missionary Kid

              I hope that Joey finds his own voice and is able to listen to a wide range of musicians.

            • jazzlover

              Well, to be fair, there are literally dozens (if not hundreds) of musicians in jazz today who are vital and who are creating new music all the time. So, Joey is not jazz’s last hope 🙂 If he isn’t treated that way, he should be fine. And hopefully, he’ll realize early on that a musician’s life (especially in jazz) isn’t a cake walk.

            • Missionary Kid

              Joey is now a phenom, but I wouldn’t look at him as jazz’s last hope. The life of any entertainer is tough, but musicians seem to have it even tougher than others.

            • jazzlover

              Absolutely. It’s a dog eat dog environment from all accounts I’ve heard. Robert Fripp (who I consider to be one of the most intelligent musicians out there) said the following when someone asked for his advice on becoming a professional musician:

              “Don’t” LOL. That made a lasting impression on me as being extremely sound advice 😉

            • Missionary Kid

              It definitely is a tough life. Few make a living from it, and few of those make it big. Some professionals never turn the page, playing Same Old Shit, or they learn to cover excellent musicians, but have no spark of their own. Others choose partners who push them to try new things.

              I was lucky enough to see Stevie Ray Vaughan drop in on a pretty good band, and take them to a level I’d never seen from them before. The good ones push everyone, including themselves, to do better. When he walked in, I didn’t know who he was. When he walked out, I couldn’t forget him.

            • jazzlover

              Agreed. He was a HUGE loss, one of those “once in a lifetime” musicians.

          • Doc M

            I just read it, thank you….very interesting. Bowie had a lot of class. He and Carlos were very very tight…for so many years.

            • jazzlover

              You’re welcome. Had no idea Alomar was from Harlem.

            • Doc M

              Neither did I

            • The 5 Years Bowie documentary was wonderful. So cool to see Carlos, Fripp and Eno talking about how they made music together. Alomar is a wonderful musician.

            • jazzlover

              He is. Awesome on Station to Station which I will go to my grave claiming it is Bowie’s best album. And Fripp, well you know how I feel about him 🙂

            • My love for Bowie is really concentrated from Station to Station through Scary Monsters. I really wasn’t interested in anything he did after that period until The Next Day and Blackstar. I’m gaining a big appreciation for the Hunky Dory-Ziggy years however.

        • a friend of mine at the London Hard Rock in the late 90’s said he caught him eating a real burger at a private event in the downstairs bar, lol…. there was also the story that made a few early editions of him being drunk and shouting to David Blaine calling him a c*nt when he did that weird no eating/drinking thing in a clear perspex cage over the Thames … story quickly disappeared; that aside you have to forgive him anything as his contribution to music is truly fucking astounding!

          • Doc M

            I’ve also heard some negative stories about him. Whatever the case, I don’t think he was the kind family man all round nice guy that the media portrays. With his type of fame for so long now, it has to have affected him.

            I agree his contribution is fuckin incredible. This brings up an interesting question and returns full circle to this mornings discussion on Chick Corea.

            Perhaps not as important as McCartney, but nobody will probably be that important for 100 years, Chick still is a really important post bop player who extended the envelop. Yet should he be discarded because he drank the Kool-Aid?

            • I think you have to put him in the Juliette Lewis father celeb category… old timers who came in pre COB and just didn’t want to rock the boat… considering his clam low-profile I very much doubt it would play a major part of his obituary… same for Beck; Cruise, Krustie, JT etc are a different kettle of fish and I’m sure clamology would play a major part in theirs.

              edit:… “I’ve also heard some negative stories about him.”

              does make you wonder/understand why he paid off Heather Mills to the tune of £100m+ (some of the early stories she put out were pretty gruesome)

            • Intergalactic Walrus

              It probably won’t be played up by anyone but the CO$. They can’t pass up any opportunity to take credit for a clam’s success. Especially now, when their numbers are dwindling. I can imagine JAW’s Chick Corea RIP tweets now, proclaiming how he credited LRH for everything!

            • Doc M

              Even Lennon and Harrison didn’t always have nice things to say and overall they were gentlemen about it.

              Heather accused him of being physically abusive.

              One thing for sure, no matter what, nobody knows what goes on in a family once the front door is closed.

            • Intergalactic Walrus

              I would have preferred to have been Linda McCartney over Pattie Boyd (Harrison) or Cynthia Lennon, anyday.

          • 9001

            I worked in the kitchen at 2 of his gigs. They were very strict about us getting all animal products out the venues before he arrived. I don’t think he would eat a real burger. He was one of the few superstars I worked for that took the time to come into the kitchen and ask how everyone was. He’s cool.

        • Intergalactic Walrus

          McCartney was nominated for best rap performance and best rap song at the Grammys – featured on Kanye West’s “All Day”. Didn’t win.

  • Dave Reams

    Why did Ron write under pseudonyms? (somebody asked below)
    I wonder if Ron was trying to avoid getting caught for scamming the Navy’s disability system? In numerous official correspondance, Ron claims to be significantly disabled and unable to work.

    https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Cowen/warhero/crippled.htm

    • Intergalactic Walrus

      It’s interesting to ponder that if Hubbard had been able to finagle more $$$ out of Uncle Sam for his “war injuries”, the CO$ might never have existed.

    • Enturbulated Masterbator

      Now that’s a space opera I can dig!

      Edit: Oops, I was replying to the northern lights post. Operator error.

    • Doc M

      He wasn’t looking for fame, just money and he was prolific. It was pretty common to use other names in these publishing mills. It made the stories appear more glamorous. You didn’t want your name appearing all over the place. If someone did like one story, they might never read another. A pseudo-name got around that problem. Other times authors would just use names for their own amusement and use cute play on word names. Lastly, many times in that era, many different writers wrote but used the same name to keep a continuity. A good example of this is “The Hardy Boys” or “Nancy Drew”.

    • Missionary Kid

      Many prolific science fiction writers, as well as other pulp writers wrote under pseudonyms so that the readers would think that they were reading a different author, and that the editors weren’t inundating them with one author.

      Once they became established, and had a fan base that would buy magazines once they saw a writer’s name on the cover or on the index, they often quit using pseudonyms.

      IIRC, Heinlein did it, as well as other writers. Asimov wrote under the name of Paul French.

    • Cedilla

      L Ron Hubbard-nym
      L Ron Lafayette Hubbard-nibs

  • aurora50

    O/T. For the science nerds in the house, a live-stream of the Northern Lights!
    http://explore.org/live-cams/player/northern-lights-cam

  • Pierrot

    *** RED X +–+ +–+ RED X .

    Good Day Bunkerites,
    $cientology can really help you with anything, they are the biggest pain in the a***
    Is this for real? http://nashville.craigslist.org/cls/5450439227.html

    Flag the lies, whack a few bait & switch ads : https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1-Kvg78kCcvo5gL7UfPcmhmbsagTNtdj0y2LAiHVFrCU/pubhtml

    F5… Wack a Mole by AegerPrimor https://www.flickr.com/photos/120371503@N05/13356288403/in/set-72157642802079293

    • Eivol Ekdal

      Welcome Back!

    • aegerprimo

      HOLLA Pierrot! So nice to have you back. ♥♥♥

  • hadn’t been to cleverbot.com for ages…. pic

  • Missionary Kid

    Health report on Tory Christman. A week ago, she had her second cast taken off, and x-rays done. The doctor said that it looks like her ankle is healing well. He saw some fuzziness between one break, and that was an indication that the bone is forming in the break. After that, he put on another cast.

    She’s doing well, but she has acquired a real appreciation for the American Disabilities Act. It has enabled her to do things that she couldn’t without it. Tory is quite self-sufficient, but she’s reluctant to ask for help. Her friends have pitched in. Can you imagine what would have happened to her if she still was in $cientology?

    She said everything is going fine, and to say “Hello” to everyone in the Bunker.

    • OOkpik

      Thanks, MK.
      I’m thrilled that she is healing well. Please forward (((Tory))) to her.

      • Missionary Kid

        Will do.

    • Juicer77

      Good to hear. Here is a fortune I have kept on my desk. Good advice :)F5

      • Missionary Kid

        Thanks. That’s a good thought.

        Unfortunately, there’s a game where everyone opens up their fortune cookie and adds the words, “In bed.” to the end of it. It can be hilarious. This one is also apropos, even with the ending added.

        • seriouslyWTF

          Yes. I have been doing that for 30 years. First heard of it in Princeton, NJ while on assignment there in 1985 timeframe.. Cracks me up every time. I’m easily amused.

          • Missionary Kid

            It’s pure chance, depending on the manufacturer, it can get outrageous. I’ve been in a group of 8 where every one was not only apt for every person, but funnier than hell. We couldn’t stop laughing.

        • Juicer77

          Mr. Juicer. Every time we order chinese food. XD

    • Draco

      Thanks MK. Hugs from me to Tory.

  • seriouslyWTF

    This guy just won the Internet. Made me laugh out loud in a house full of sleeping people.
    Refresh. https://twitter.com/leonard_obrien/status/699895056644222976

    • Jack99

      But… did Jesus do his own stunts?!

      • Draco

        Yup … the last one did not end well …

  • chuckbeattyexseaorg75to03

    Too bad some of these really old colleagues and contemporary critics didn’t have the time and the stomach to read all of the following decades of Hubbard’s Scientology movement output. And to see where Hubbard’s (Pipsqueak Prometheus) ended up impacting the Scientology regular followers and Scientology staffers.

    Comparing Ron to Prometheus, made me look up on Wikipedia, and I read:

    ” ….Prometheus tricks Zeus into eternally claiming the inedible parts of cows and bulls for the sacrificial ceremonies of the gods, while conceding the nourishing parts to humans for the eternal benefit of humankind.”

    Thinking with my Sea Orger stomach history, told me YES!

    Ron did mention “hamburgers” in one of his technical writings as something when eaten for a few days gives one enough “steam” to be given his crank pseudo-therapy properly.

    And today, Sea Orgers, I noticed in the interviews Chris Shelton or one of Aaron Smith-Levon’s interviews they say how joyful “hamburger” day in the Sea Org messhall was! I remember too, even in the 80s, and at the Int Base messhall, hamburger day was a delight!

    Ron as Prometheus giving hamburgers to Sea Orgers! Per Ron’s policy! Ron the Promethean dietitian.

    • Eivol Ekdal

      Good morning Underground Chuck.

      • OOkpik

        How much good could a good Chuck chuck…?!

        Lots, thanks.

        • chuckbeattyexseaorg75to03

          When I was under “baby watch” as a Sea Orger threatening to blow and go to the media or get a lawyer, one of my “Watches” made a joke: (How that ties to today, is because Tony is the kind of reporter I knew existed, although at those moments when I was thinking of blowing and getting to a phone and calling a reporter, I was thinking of calling the LA Weekly reporters.)

          “What the f–k Chuck! You’re shit out of luck!”

          Everytime it was his shift to come be a watch, he’d joke that line on me.

          It is a whole different world in the RPF’s RPF, and the “routing out” crew who are all “RPF’s RPFers.”

          • OOkpik

            What happened to you at the hands of Scientology is so wrong.
            What you have revealed yourself to be is so right.
            I have followed your posts with admiration for years and always look forward to them.
            It’s great to have you here. F–K Chuck! We’re in luck! 🙂

          • Draco

            WTF Chuck! You were NOT out of Luck – you got out! And talked and talked and talked. I wonder if that particular “watcher” is still in the SO and muzzled 🙂

    • Dave Reams

      Prometheus took bones and other inedible parts and wrapped them in fat so that they looked like delicious marbled steak.

      Following a revolt of the loyal officers, “Prometheus, in eternal punishment, is chained to a rock in the Caucasus, Kazbek Mountain” where he remains to this day.

      – from Wikipedia

    • Draco

      And let us not forget how many hamburgers were consumed by the hero of Mission Earth. Hubbard obviously held to his hamburger theory for life.

      • chuckbeattyexseaorg75to03

        Jettero Heller’s approved L. Ron Hubbard diet: hamburgers and beer!

        Maybe next year’s Superbowl Ad, and also the Hollywood Winter Parade float ought to include cooking hamburgers and handing out beer.

        Scientology supports all brands of beer worldwide!

  • NOLAGirl (Stephanie)

    *peeks in*

    Should I make coffee??

  • seriouslyWTF

    Ella Raitch, I see that you are on. I was reading a Reddit post from a guy who left the staff or seaorg by leaving one day and joining the national guard. He also said some other stuff that he did to get away. In the comments there was a response from ellaraitch that said they do not advise this and that they should obide by any contract they signed ith Scientology. I’m assuming this was not you.

    • madame duran

      Interesting (not only the account of an org staff member’s escape but also OSA’s [?] theft of established screen names with slight alterations). The response by this imposter is good for a laugh. Got a direct link to the comment?

      • seriouslyWTF

        It was several days ago. I’ll see if I can find it. I thought his plan was brilliant. There was nothing they could do to stop him.

    • Ella Raitch

      No, but I also saw a similar name to mine recently. I must have an evil twin.Interesting (and how could you tell I was on?)

      • seriouslyWTF

        You up voted my post from Twitter about the difference between Scientolology and Christianity.

        • Ella Raitch

          Hahaha…I thought I might have overlooked some functionality in Disqus that shows who is logged in and reading a page (a bit like at ESMB).

          Since my nick is just a phonetic adaptation of “LRH” it’s quite possible someone had the same idea as I did…..but would a clam or clam-supporter use such a rip-off? When I post at Mike’s or Marty’s I post as Ella R so that I don’t upset anyone by disrespecting the name of ‘source’.

          What’s the saying? Imitation is the highest form of flattery? Great minds think alike?

          Do I have a doppelganger with historical ties to the Marcab Confederacy?

          • Robert Eckert

            “spoofer” accounts ripping off the names of established Bunkeroos have been a common species of clam troll for years.

  • Tony Ortega

    Sorry for the delay. New story is now up.

  • sashiebgood

    “Nothing I have read in a fairly extensive survey of Hubbard’s science-fiction and fantasy writing made in preparation for the brief critical commentary to be made in these pages has led me to discard Hubbard’s pith helmet as a vital portion of my mental portrait of the author. As a matter of fact, especially as the material read approaches the present in point of publication, I am more and more presented, as I conceive of Hubbard in the abstract, with a grotesquely swollen pith helmet alone, a pith helmet which has enveloped the man.’

    I love this description. it’s very apt. Hubbard saw himself as a devil-may-care Explorer, but he always screwed up, never managed to get the adulation he wanted so very badly. because even though he had the adulation of Scientologists, he was greedy – it wasn’t enough for him. he wanted kings and presidents and the media and all people to think he was a great man. but he lacked the patience to be a great writer, the compassion to be a great man. he became a slave to his own image of himself – the misunderstood explorer in his giant pith helmet.

  • Dave Reams

    “The Scientology apostate exam is the exact copy of the medical prostate exam except the medical version uses a rubber glove and a finger and the Scientology version doesn’t.”
    -LRH

  • seriouslyWTF

    OT. Someone posted an article about Trump earlier regarding his lack of donations, except to scientolology, and him claiming 100s of friends who died. I can’t find it now. Does anyone recall who posted or where it is?