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Super Sunday Funnies: Will you get to see Scientology’s ad during the big game today?

UPDATE: We have a new leak from Scientology that suggests the church will be airing its “Age of Answers” ad from October as its commercial during the Super Bowl, and it will occur at halftime. See the update, below.

Ah, Super Sunday, when, for the past few years, the Church of Scientology has caused a Twitter freakout by placing its creepy TV ads in certain markets during the big game.

Scientology leader David Miscavige has been on a media buying blowout, placing full-page ads in USA Today and the New York Times, and paying for web ads in every conceivable place lately. Miscavige is scrambling to deal with his latest crisis, in this case the imminent airing of Alex Gibney’s documentary, Going Clear, on HBO on March 16.

We’ll say what we’ve said many times: These ads are not meant for you, and they’re not meant for us. The ads trashing Gibney and Lawrence Wright and the other people in the film, as well as the slick Apple Computer-like TV spots trying to sell Scientology, are aimed at Miscavige himself and his biggest financial donors.

It’s important to keep that in mind when you see Scientology doing something seemingly incomprehensible — like sending stern letters to every person who reviewed Gibney’s film without calling the church for a quote. As ridiculous as that seems, rank-and-file Scientologists eat it up with a spoon, as we showed in a story on Thursday. Scientologists, who assiduously avoid negative press about the church, want to see the organization punching back and smearing its critics, as well as trying to spread the word about L. Ron Hubbard.


And that’s why today, it will be important for Scientology’s donors to see an ad during the Super Bowl to make them feel like Miscavige is fighting the good fight.

Problem is, as profligate a spender as Miscavige is, even he doesn’t want to pay nearly $4 million for a thirty-second spot during the game. What many folks don’t realize, however, is that during the many hours of broadcast before and during the game, a few spots are reserved for your local broadcast channel to sell to advertisers. These spots are much cheaper than the official nationally aired ads. One expert told us that Scientology could buy spots in numerous markets around the country and end up paying about $1 million — a much less expensive way to go. Last year, Scientology only bought these spots in cities where “Ideal Org” projects had been finished as an incentive for other cities to catch up.

Which cities will get the Scientology ad this year, and which ad will they show? We’ll know from Twitter reactions and comments here which places get to see the ad. And as for which one will air, we still think the spot Miscavige created about Scientology’s “social betterment” programs will be the one that gets shown. (Nope. See the update, below.) Here’s the two-minute version of it again, in case you missed it when we talked about it on January 7. For the game, Scientology will pare down a 30-second version of it…


Since then, Scientology has debuted a really remarkable new ‘Dear Leader’ video that’s nearly eleven minutes long, all about how David Miscavige is the greatest genius who ever lived. We think this one is less likely to run for the simple reason that Miscavige would have a tough time choosing his favorite 30 seconds from it…


So, keep your eyes peeled and let us know which ad pops up during today’s broadcast. If the past is any guide, you’re most likely to see it during the final hour of the pregame show, and immediately after the end of the first half. Keep your wits about you!

UPDATE: A tipster has forwarded to us a message from Scientology’s Kathy Feshbach which suggests that the church will be using its “Age of Answers” ad during halftime.

Here’s the message that was forwarded to us:


The IAS funded Scientology – The Age of Answers video will play at half time during the Super Bowl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The next day on Monday following the Super Bowl in USA TODAY – full-page ad – The Age of Answers – ensure you buy the paper!!!!

Also, on YOUTUBE – on Monday we will be on the front page for 24 hours straight!!!! People can watch The Age of Answers video, do OCA test or any of the on-line free courses!!!!!!

Thank you for all your donations to the IAS – keep them coming, we are changing the world together!!!!

Kathy Feshbach

Here’s the ad, which we first shared with you in November…


So keep your eyes peeled at halftime! [End of update!]

Now, let’s move on to a video that’s actually useful. Chris Shelton left Scientology’s “Sea Org” recently, and since then he’s produced a whole series of videos helping people understand how things in Scientology’s management structure actually work.

Today, he has for us something a bit more direct — it’s an open statement to David Miscavige himself. Let us know what you think about the message Chris has for his former boss!


“You and I know L. Ron Hubbard hated criticism, and so do you,” Shelton says. “Do you want your legacy to be that of a self-important tyrant, an uncaring dictator, who gleefully destroyed people’s lives for your own sick amusement?”

That’s good stuff. Now, let’s turn to our regular weekly feature, Sunday Funnies, with a few of the newest Scientology fundraising fliers sent to us by our great tipsters…

How many of these people will be looking up Ted Babbitt’s phone number in a couple of years?

Become a Member

Drummer Bob Sullivan: “Scientology is the most exciting thing in this universe in like, literally, forever!”


It’s a central files party in Columbus, Ohio! Find out how many of your neighbors are receiving an endless supply of Scientology fliers and other crap!


Woo-hoo! The new multi-million dollar Portland Ideal Org has cleared 19 people since November 2013! The state of Oregon is going to be cleared in no time!

clear newsflash_4

Drew says LRH set a high bar for helping others!


Detroit, Chicago, Atlanta, and Miami — four of the places in the east struggling to finance new ‘Ideal Orgs.’ (Philly and Boston are struggling as well.) And look at that turnout! Why, there might be hundreds of Scientologists east of the Mississippi!


Ori was frightened by a staff 2.5 year contract? Oh young man, you have no idea what’s coming.


These young people are Oh-TEE! (And for only a few hundred thousand clams, you can be too!)


It’s so easy to look up technical terms with a dictionary. Who knew!

training success 6

And finally, come and hear Weston’s great wins!

westen email

Thanks again to our great tipsters!


Posted by Tony Ortega on February 1, 2015 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of LA attorney and former church member Vance Woodward

UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer
The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ


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