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Scientology Mythbusting with Jon Atack: Xenu the Galactic Overlord, Part 1!

Xenu_HomeboyIn 1990, author Jon Atack published what is still one of the very best books on L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology, A Piece of Blue Sky. Atack now has a new edition of the book out, and it reminded us what an encyclopedic resource he is. So join us as we rely on Jon’s expertise to sift through the legends, myths, and contested facts about Scientology that tend to get hashed and rehashed in books, articles, and especially on the Internet.

Jon, it struck us (based on what you wrote in Blue Sky) that you and Paul Haggis had about the same reaction to Scientology’s most legendary stop on the Bridge, Operating Thetan Level III. For those new to the subject, we’ll summarize that material in a moment, but we wanted to know, what are the range of reactions that Scientologists tend to have when they encounter OT III? And how literal are church members supposed to take it (even if some ex-church members are now calling it metaphorical)?

JON: Only a squirrel (Scientology’s word for a heretic) would think that OT III is metaphorical. Nothing in Scientology is metaphorical and Hubbard makes that very clear in his policy “Keeping Scientology Working.” I met a number of people who were simply devastated by OT III. One friend, who had been bubbly and outgoing, became sullen and withdrawn. A few years later, when I was finally allowed to ask (keep in mind the injunction on conversation about either ‘the Tech’ or your ‘case’), she said that she had not been able to find any Body Thetans. I have never seen such a marked negative change in anyone. An OT who I’d thought was simply aloof approached me while I was on OT V (as was she) and said, “Isn’t it great that Ron found something to tidy up the mess made by OT III?” An oldtimer — in from 1954 — told me that he’d thought it was nonsense when he read it, but had confirmed it on the E-meter (he paused when I asked if he’d ever suspected the meter). I’ve yet to meet anyone who has said that it seemed exactly right. Most people do seem to react as if they were reading hastily written science fiction (so there is hope for us all).

THE BUNKER: Let’s make sure our readers understand what we’re talking about. As South Park made famous in an episode in 2005, when Scientologists reach a certain level (usually after several years of dedicated coursework and something like $100,000 in fees) they will be let in on the secret of Operating Thetan Level Three. (You are an immortal being called a “thetan” which is being held back by something called your “reactive mind.” After clearing away the reactive mind to become “clear,” your inner thetan can then really flex its muscles in the “operating thetan” levels.)

When you’ve been cleared for OT III, you’re shown material that L. Ron Hubbard penned in late 1967 while docked in North Africa. Here’s what the first page looks like, and a transcript…


Data (1) The head of the Galactic Confederation (76 planets around larger stars visible from here)(founded 95,000,000 yrs ago, very space opera) solved overpopulation (250 billion or so per planet — 178 billion on average) by mass implanting. He caused people to be brought to Teegeeack (Earth) and put an H Bomb on the principal volcanoes (Incident 2) and then the Pacific area ones were taken in boxes to Hawaii and the Atlantic Area ones to Las Palmas and there “packaged.” His name was Xenu. He used renegades. Various misleading data by means of circuits, etc. was placed in implants. When through with his crime Loyal Officers (to the people) captured him after 6 years of battle and put him in an electronic mountain trap where he still is. “They” are gone. The place (Confed.) has since been a desert.

(You can see a transcript of the rest here.) Yes, Hubbard is saying that 75 million years ago a galactic ruler named Xenu dealt with an overpopulation problem by bringing billions of surplus aliens to Earth and vaporizing them with hydrogen bombs. He then collected their disembodied souls and indoctrinated them with 36 days of 3-D images which included God, Satan, and the world’s religions, which are all just false images. Then he loosed them on the world, and these invisible souls took up residence in various living creatures, eventually infesting human beings. So the upshot is that you are not just you, but you are actually a composite creature made up of hundreds or thousands of invisible “body thetans” left over from that genocide of 75 million years ago. The point of OT III, Hubbard writes, is to drive those body thetans away with (very expensive) solo auditing.

In other words, Scientology charges you something like $800 an hour to perform an alien exorcism on yourself in the privacy of your own home. (And yes, Tom Cruise and John Travolta and other high-level Scientology celebrities have all done this.) At higher levels, OT IV through OT VII, there’s even more clearing away of body thetans. Scientologists can spend hundreds of thousand dollars more and several years on these exorcism levels.

But Jon, some who have left the church are saying that those of us outside make too much of Xenu and OT III — that only a minority of Scientologists get that far, and even those who do make it to the upper levels don’t spend much time on the Xenu thing. And once they’ve finished that level, it’s not like it remains a part of their experience in the church.

JON: It is surely the intention of Scientology that everyone on the planet — with the exception of “Suppressive Persons,” such as thee and me — will be Cleared. That is only two short steps away from OT III. I find it hard to believe that anyone involved in Scientology does not want everyone (except for thee and me) to do the OT levels (and, I, of course, already have, and they are childishly silly). If the argument is that Scientology does not work (with which I tend to agree), then it would be OK to strip out the components. And maybe you could abandon ‘ARC Straightwire’ or a couple of ‘objective processes’ (wonderful for inducing hypnotic conditions). But the Bridge leads to Full OT. Stopping between Clear and OT III is technically forbidden, because the ‘pre-OT’ is now in the ‘non-interference zone’ so must be rushed to OT III. All of Scientology is a metaphor. Not a scrap of it is actually, scientifically provably true, whether the promised results of the ‘processing’ or his descriptions of his own ‘quadrillion year’ past.

OT III can be a very severe experience. I met a guy who had spent 13 years doing OT III. He saved himself the expense of the OT III continuation courses: OT IV through OT VII. There really isn’t anything else to the OT levels. You start excavating for Body Thetans on OT III and you carry on, and carry on, and carry on. The guy who had been on it for 13 years (and all inside the ‘Church’ — no squirreling involved), was actually running Body Thetans on a woman who was his housemate, because she smelled and he didn’t have the communication skills to suggest deodorant. The woman continued to smell. The guy attested OT III and finally found a job (he was a skilled engineer) and got back to having a life. So, OT III can be a very overwhelming experience (although it promises ‘freedom from overwhelm’). You cannot remove it from the cosmology and trying to do so makes what you are doing no longer Scientology. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but why not just accept that no Operating Thetans have been made using this ‘technology’? Nor have there been any Clears, or Communication Releases (who can speak to anyone on any subject, apart from the long list of forbidden subjects, of course), or Problems Releases or any of the other spurious states advertised and sold by Scientology. Simple answer: OT III is the most important level of the Bridge, according to Hubbard.

Blue Sky quotes him, thusly: “The material involved in this sector is so vicious that it is carefully arranged to kill anyone if he discovers the exact truth of it … I am very sure that I was the first one that ever did live through any attempt to attain that material.”

If it can be dismissed, then you have to dismiss ‘engrams,’ too. Remember that Ron went through almost a century of research in a few months and almost lost his life (he said he broke his back), so it seems incredibly ungrateful to push his achievement aside. Unless you know that he was taking contraindicated drugs at the time he ‘researched’ it.

Blue Sky has: “Hubbard claimed he had broken a knee, an arm, and his back during the course of his research. He attributed this to the tremendous increase in ‘OT power’ he achieved doing OT III, making accidental damage to his body all too easy. While he was certainly accident-prone at times (a characteristic of those surrounded by Suppressives, according to Hubbard), the cause was not necessarily paranormal. The evidence does not support these claims of injury.”

This is Hubbard’s take on the idea that you can change anything that he said. It was reprinted in the excellent Foster Report:

Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex


Issue III


Recently, during the reorganisation of WW, it came to light that in some Continental orgs EXEC SECS an SECS had an occasion actually ordered that certain Pol Ltrs and HCOBs were not to be followed.

This order is an illegal order and any staff following it is guilty of executing an illegal order.

Any executive issuing such an order shall hereafter be considered as committing a high crime which on proof beyond reasonable doubt constitutes a HIGH CRIME and can carry the assignment of the Condition of TREASON for both the person issuing the order and the person who receives and executes it.

All such instances MUST be reported at once to the International Ethics Officer at WW.

Failure to report such an order to the Int E/O when one knows of it carries with it the assignment of a Condition of Liability.

Lines for the amendment of Policy already exist as per other Pol Ltr and until an amendment is legally and completely passed the old policy must be followed.

HCOBs cannot be amended.

LRH: jp

THE BUNKER: Well there you have it. OT III is the most important step on the Bridge, and must be taken literally.

Next week, in part 2: Why did Hubbard come up with this stuff, anyway?


SMERSH Madness: Sowing the Seeds of World Domination!

As we announced on March 1, we’re joining bracket fever with a tournament like no other. It’s up to you to decide who should be named the new SMERSH, the traditional nemesis of Scientology. Cast your vote for who’s doing more to propel the church down its long slide into oblivion!

Continuing in the first round, we have a fascinating matchup this morning…


David Miscavige is the Chairman of the Board of the Religious Technology Center, but don’t let that confuse you: Miscavige rules every corner of the Church of Scientology with absolute authority. He would say he’s just carrying on the wishes of the founder, L. Ron Hubbard, but the large number of longtime members leaving the church these days tend to blame Miscavige for turning them away and putting the church into crisis. Some would say he’s driving it into the ground with extreme fundraising and harsh “ethics.” But what do we know.

Vance Woodward rocked our world with his account of 22 years in the church, Addicted to Scientology. Few writers have captured the everyday Kafkaesque nightmare of trying to negotiate Scientology’s bizarre bureaucracy with so much humor and insight. Now he’s helping us to understand Dianetics, and we will never look at it the same way again.


We have another bracket’s first round complete…




Posted by Tony Ortega on March 9, 2013 at 07:00


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  • John P.

    If there’s a quote that encapsulates just how ludicrous the disconnect is between the powers that Scientologists believe they have and the powers they actually have, it is this one:

    The guy who had been on [OT III] for 13 years (and all inside the ‘Church’ — no squirreling involved), was actually running Body Thetans on a woman who was his housemate, because she smelled and he didn’t have the communication skills to suggest deodorant. The woman continued to smell.

    This makes the legendary “George Baillie, Super-Communicator” video all the more bizarre in the strength of his delusions that his words are actually having an impact. My head spins.

    As far as the vote this morning, I must say I’m really enjoying Vance’s take on Dianutty. But Miscavige’s raving ineptitude and his apparent psychopathology is such a hypnotic slow-motion train wreck that I can’t take my eyes off it. Seriously, you just never know what juvenile, reactive move he will make next that will alienate more followers or create more enemies, while he simultaneously continues to purge his management ranks of anyone with a smidgen more spine than a jellyfish.

    • Bad smells were always a problem for early scientologists….I have proof

    • Sherbet

      Re the deodorant story: I guess scn is a little shaky on that communication thing.

    • I’ve gotten three men to stop smelling bad: one who wore way too much cologne, one who did not wear deodorant, and one who did not shower after working out. I love how simply talking to people is considered a super power.

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      The episode with the woman who had body odor is apocryphal and never happened. If it had happened, it would be a gross alteration of the Tech and would have resulted in immediate SP Declares for both of the squirrels involved. Additionally, an ecclesiastical beating would have been ordered:

      OTOH, if the malodorous woman had come to Flag, the Mecca of Technical Perfection, we would have hosed her down out back and then audited her on the Flag only Body Odor Rundown, a breakthrough in hygiene in which all stops and barriers to showering are fully handled in twelve intensives of Flag auditing.

      • grundoon

        Wow, first useful Scientology tech. Has to be squirrel.

      • ParticleMom

        Is “body odor” on the scent wall in the Super Power Building?

  • BosonStark

    “Only a squirrel would think that OT III is metaphorical.”

    LOL, ain’t that the truth. I mean it’s right there in Hubbard’s OWN HANDWRITING! How could he have not meant it to be true?

    “The head of the Galactic Confederation…H bomb on the principal volcanoes.” That part’s got to be true. And if you have doubts, just keep doing OT levels until they’re removed along with your BTs.

  • EnthralledObserver

    Miscavige’s incompetence and stupidity in his ‘leader’ role is captivating, to say the least. He’s certainly causing the most damage out of any other individual (except perhaps Tony O – who we never get to vote for) that I can think of. he’s equally alienating ex-es. Indies, Public, Sea Org, and Media… and us never-ins are LOVING it!
    Vance, against anyone else, might have got a look in – but not against Mismanage hisself, sorry bud.
    I’ve been consistently told by Indies and visiting OSA that OT III is not the central core of Scientology, but I think they are kidding themselves… it certainly is the whole premise of auditing on any OT level above it at any rate. I mean, what else is Scientology about then, if it isn’t this… all I’ve ever been told is a weak and feeble ‘feelgood’ cognition of what I have considered ‘common sense’ issues. So, honestly, if that is your ‘best’ WIN in Scientology, then you are out-exchange big time – in THEIR favour a few hundred thousand dollars minimum!

  • Sidney18511

    Vance is great……But he is up against the biggest wacko since LRH.

    • Well that’s how seeding goes in these tournaments. You love the plucky team from Gonzaga or Fairleigh Dickinson, but they’re matched up against a Duke or Kentucky in the first round.

  • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

    I don’t know where Hubbard wrote them, it might have been in Dianetics, but he wrote words to the effect of, “The body is naturally sweet smelling”. He said that bad smells from the body are engramic in nature. Now I know I paraphrase something I read perhaps decades ago, I haven’t been word cleared on it and Hubbard tended to put in a hundred caveats, but that was the essence of it and that is what he wanted the reader to believe. It seemed strange to me, even then, because every body sometime emits really bad smells and that is that. I assume that guy was trying to get the housemates stinks under control via auditing when the scientific marvel of a bath, toothpaste, beano or eating some parsley would have done it quicker and and at a far lower cost.

    I also remember the reaction to OT3 that was to occur in the uninitiated when Xenu was a secret. We would die from pneumonia within two days. It was as simple as that. At that time, the upper OT’s did everything to stop us from hearing the word, lest we die. I first read the word in Time Magazine when they mentioned Now, with the cat out of the bag, Scientologists look more closely at Hubbard’s quote and concentrate on a different meaning of the “exact truth” of it. On one of the freezone sites the consensus seemed to be that if a guy like me tried to do the OT materials unprepared I would die soon, probably from pneumonia. I am sure that when an unprepared person is finally witnessed spending a lot of time doing OT3, there will be a new rationalization as to why he didn’t die, or even get the sniffles.

    By the time someone has come to believe that he has finished OT3 his worldview has been altered so much that bringing them back into reality is like untying the Gordian knot. It can be done, but it is really, really, tough. The former OT3’s I know, and I know only three of them, have each gone to a sort of half way house. One has gone to the freezone where she modifies her Scientological outlook on the world with other bizarre mystical outlooks. Another has become mentally ill and uses drugs and therapies to keep him going. The last has created a cult of two with he wearing the LRon hat and his partner is the disciple. I would imagine others have walked away with no long term problems, but I hear that it can take quite a while to untie the knot of the controlling culture of Scientology.

    • John P.

      I don’t know where Hubbard wrote them, it might have been in Dianetics, but he wrote words to the effect of, “The body is naturally sweet smelling”. He said that bad smells from the body are engramic in nature.

      Reconciling this assertion with the state of Hubbard’s dental work can only lead to madness… or serious lulz.

      • I believe the “sweet smelling” quote of from the Purification Rundown HCOB.

  • Puppetmama

    Poor Vance. Anyone who ends up opposite Miscavige is doomed.

    • richelieu jr

      Or under him, or in the same room.. or within arms length on a bad day…

    • Andrew Robertson

      In my opinion it is important not to let one’s emotions guide the voting choice but to adopt a steely heart and word clear Tony’s edict: ‘…causing the most damage to Scientology’.

      The Chairman of the Board, Religious Technology Center has my vote and I wish him well for his battle in the finals against his strongest challenger, L Ron Hubbard.


  • FistOfXenu

    I read “he used renegades” and my brain saw “he used Renegar”.

    Anyways, I’ve heard a few OTIII+ say the Xenu story is a metaphor and not literal and all, but most started out by claiming it doesn’t even exist and then there’s the whole thing about well why did your leaders claim it should be protected as a genuine copyright with commercial value and yak yak yak until they told me it’s to protect wogs from being overwhelmed and more yak yak yak. But then they fell back on calling it a metaphor and of course nobody takes it literally.

    I kicked my self after every time because I always forget to ask them to deny that it really happened point by point, you know, the 76 planets, the 4 quadrillion yrs ago for incident I, the details of incident II, and all that. It’s one thing to say it as a blanket statement but I want to know what happens (if anything) if a $cientarCONonist denies the specifics of OTIII point by point.

    • richelieu jr

      Isn’t there a further level that basically tells you it was all a joke and now you know not to be so gullible?

      • Ze Moo

        You just described OT 8 quite well.

        • How do people react to OT8 once they’ve achieved it? Do the actually understand what they’re being told? Does it make them want to rip off others as they’ve been ripped off by the CO$?

          • grundoon

            George M White left Scientology shortly after finishing the original OT VIII.

          • Ze Moo

            Karin Prouw in the now somewhat distant past (2000 or so?) said that only 5% of the people who take scientologist ‘training’ (not sure what that means) get to OT3. I would guess that only 1 to 3% get to OT8. After all the promises of being at cause over MEST and the other super powers, how do you honestly figure out that you have been duped and slink away. Or do you subsist on the love bombing that comes from being one of the most ‘learned’ clam there is?

        • FistOfXenu

          Alias “OT- J&D”

    • PreferToBeAnon2

      It was so much of a metaphor that in the Fowler murder case, Fowler’s wife was more concerned with getting the brief case of OTIII materials back that investigators found in his office than the condition of the victim, the horror of the situation, and even her wounded husband who was carted off.

      • 1subgenius

        Wonder how ole Rex is doing.

    • Observer

      “… until they told me it’s to protect wogs from being overwhelmed …” I supposed that’s true, if by “overwhelmed” they mean “overwhelmed by incredulity and hysterical laughter”.

  • Peter Robinson

    Just like other ‘religions’ then. As some people come to see how ludicrous the stories are they start to retreat and take refuge in the old “it’s only a metaphor’ game of post-rationalisation justification. When oh when will they see what is so clear? That LRH was a nutcase and his whole game a scam?

    • jensting

      It would be like other religions if the criminal organisation known as the “church” of $cientology was honest and open about Xenu. it isn’t so it ain’t.

      • richelieu jr

        I think the Catholic church used to be bit more like that when the mass was in Latin.. You were just sort of supposed to drink in the spectacle and pageantry and trust that the priest was giving you the straight dope…

        When I was working on my PHD in comparative religions, I was writing my dissertation of medieval Christian heresies, specifically Catharism, Gnosticism and all the ‘Mani’ influenced duality religions where everything pure and eternal is attributed to god, and everything that is corrupt or can die ‘bodies, trees, etc..) is the work of the demi-urge, or Satan… When I would discuss this stuff with Catholics (did Christ have a body? Was he only spirit? If transubstantiation exists, do we then excrete and eliminate Christ in the traditional manner after having consumed him? Etc…)

        I would get a lot of angry reactions, but if you spoke with a Bishop or Priest, they already knew this stuff and could converse learnedly and easily about it… I was struck by how there was one knowledge for people who ‘could understand’ and another for ‘the congregation’. Priests will speak openly about how to dumb it down and communicate ‘on the archetypal level’ in private conversation.. This always seemed, whilst understandable, perilously close to ‘putting on show for the rubes’… No priest was surprised by ay of the assertions in DaVinci Code- That stuff has been around for centuries now…

        When I first started researching Scientology, I was really struck by its resemblance to certain Egyptian Mystery Cults with all the secret levels being unveiled.. A lot like Freemasonry, with some ‘secret’ supposedly getting closer, but really it’s just one empty ritual and ‘revelation’ after another.. Definitely the Crowley stuff is the influence there I think, and LRH is just reflecting Crowley’s knowledge and appropriation of these tropes…

        • You’re right about the resemblance to the Egyptian Mystery Cults and the the strong evidence of the influence of Crowley. It’s one of the reasons I think that dabbling in Scientology practice is an invitation to sail in dangerous waters.

          Weirdly enough, the original idea of having the Mass in Latin was to make accessible across cultures. We forget that there was a time that it held the position in the world that English does today.

          Concerning the medieval heresies (Gnosticism goes farther back to pre-Christian times and is directly related to Manichaeism), I think that part of what you encountered was the dichotomy between Catholics who stopped learning about their faith after elementary school or high school and those who continued to study theology either in college or on their own because they were interested, although your question about whether Christ had a body or was pure spirit shouldn’t have caused problems (The belief is that Jesus had a human body, and experienced human life fully even experiencing death while at the same time being One with the Father.) Unlike Scientology, Church history and beliefs aren’t secret and the information about the Real Presence (the Catholic and Orthodox Christian belief that Jesus is physically present in the Eucharist), Gnosticism or the Cathars is readily available if a person is interested. A really excellent and readable treatment of the Catholic (and High Church Anglican) view of the nature of evil and the Devil can be found in the writings of C.S. Lewis.

          • Ze Moo

            C. S. Lewis and the other ‘inklings’ gave the 20th century some of its best literature.

            • Absolutely. Just curious, do you include Dorothy Sayers as an unofficial member?

            • Ze Moo

              I’ve read the nine taylors and enjoyed it. No, there are only 3 inklings in my mind; Tolkien, Lewis and Charles Williams. The actual group had more ‘members’, but I rank those three above and in a class by themselves.

            • This is a late reply but that was my understanding of the Inklings as well. Perhaps it’s better to think of her as a fellow amateur theologian with Lewis. Tolkien’s theology is more implied in his work (though he was responsible for Lewis’ return [or perhaps more accurate, adult conversion] to Christianity).

          • richelieu jr

            Oh, I certainly didn’t mean to say the knowledge split was intentional, only that it existed as a de facto separation. If you asked a medieval peasant what were the tenets of his faith, or the holy sacraments, he would have been hard pressed to tell you (though he would probably have known feast days, etc.) As for the Incarnation, the dogma on that changed at several points, but is at the heart of several of these heresies I spoke of (if Jesus was God, therefore he couldn’t die, therefore he wasn’t made of flesh, therefore he could not be made to suffer and die on a cross, therefore no resurrection– Than you very much here’s your one way ticket to the auto da fé..
            And yes, Latin was in fact the international language- OF literate educated people, of which there were precious few before the Renaissance, the reformation, etc..
            And yes, CS Lewis is great. The Screwtape Letters was may ticket into anew way of thinking…

        • The Dakini

          RJ, I love reading your posts. You inspire me to pick up my religious studies again. If I may add I slight branch to your story… Being raised in a dual faith household, I had the fortunate opportunities to ask many questions of various spiritual leaders. Being a gregarious kid, there were many, many many questions. Luckily, my parents never held me back from asking. Your story struck me most profound in that questions posed to Catholic priests never went unanswered. If fact they really did encourage examination and reflection. (Of course I have learned over the years that these were Franciscan and Jesuit priests. So we must recognize that even within the Catholic faith there are various paths in theological discourse.)

          Ironically, I was also exposed to the faith that supposedly shed all the pomp, ceremony and elitism of the Catholic Church. Yet, when faced with the same line of inquiry, Evangelical pastors either brushed my curiosity off if the subject was uncomfortable or said I should give credit to the glory of god and leave it at that. Either way, they were offended. “I was struck by how there was one knowledge for people who ‘could understand’ and another for ‘the congregation’.” Rings true in my own expereineces between religons themselves.

          However, I will note that the majority of learned religious scholars and leaders are very happy to have students and discuss facets of their (or other) theology. They have come to learn that apathy is not the seed of a rich, sustainable spiritual experience. Although I know very little about cults beyond the greek temples, it is of great shame that the followers of LRH were bound to secrecy with their own experiences. To be brief, apathy = monetary riches. Open discourse, debate and reflection about the material was/is clearly forbidden. Clearly followers had many doubts and clearly LRH knew this and stamped out any possible examination and questioning of his thiefdome. Ok, I get it (it took me a bit) but clearly L-Ron was not interested in the spiritual experience much beyond keeping people paying for the show.

          Yeah, I’ll say it, “It’s a f*cking cult.”

          Thank you RJ for your post. Really. This examination got me over the hump.

          Alanzo, I owe you a beer. 😉

          • richelieu jr

            Thanks, Dakini.. I, too, have found Catholic priests to be a great, open resource and many of them are imbued with a great curiousity and thirst for truth, secure in the belief that any new discovery can only lead to the greater glory of god. At best, their ability and desire to discuss was almost Talmudic (and I have to say for endless discussion of this sort, no one beats the Jews…) Of course I’ve known some assholes as well.

            Still, having been raised Episcopalian, but going to a Catholic school (until I was kicked out), I have also been exposed to the evangelical set who I have often found less close-minded than just imbued with a maddening lack of curiousity.. As it happens it was a Catholic priest who answered a few question I had at age 11 that lead rapidly to the loss of my faith. I owe him a great debt for taking a child’s questions seriously, giving honest answers, and letting the chips fall where they may (I should probably pint out that he has long since been defrocked and is now living with his wife of 25 years…)
            Scientology seems to have taken the worst qualities from many religions, and mixed them up with the worst of new-age mumbo-jumbo pseudo-science; As I said before, the strongest, most philosophically coherent parts i can find seem to come from the occult/pseudo-satanist stuff he lifted wholesale from his time with Parsons performing ‘sex magick’.. They have certainly included the OCD, anal-retentive adherence to rules and dogma of the Catholics with the circular reasoning, smiling, glassy-eyed, too-enthousiastic-by-half prejudice masquerading as open-mindedness of the evangelical and Jesus-freak set, the loopy Temple secrecy and refusal to take a good look at their prophet of the Mormons, with a big dollop of the All-American, Pepsodent, glad-handing, Barnum and Bailey, Medicine Show, faith-healing, Tony Robinson, Oprah, 12 step, bootstrap bullshit that inform the billion-dollar self-help industry.. A sprinkling of Cold-war paranoia topped of with golly-gee, All-American exceptionalism and you’ve got the Scientology Sundae….
            I think in some ways Wright lets old L Ron off a bit easy, but he has one thing right. As Don King says, “Only in America!” He was a truly exceptional man.
            Then again so is one-time Scientologist Charles Manson, who knew a thing or two about cults himself…

            • The Dakini

              LOL. You completely made me laugh out load at the café. I too have found Rabbis and those who were raised in Judaism to be endless in their discussions of faith and discovery. At any age!

              A side story: My parents were married by a Jesuit bishop. Upon retuning from their honeymoon they discovered that he had secretly married weeks prior to their ceremony, and left the church to become a bare footed commune hippy. They found this out on the front page of the paper in the airport! It took a bit of time, but they were able to confirm that their marriage was still officially sanctioned by the church (only for the sake of my paternal grandmother. My parents could have cared less.)

              LRH lifted from both western and eastern faiths. Without going into a run-on sentence… He seemed to take cuts of the shiniest and most mysterious, rolled it in some familiar dogma, fried it up in fear of the unknown, and served it up on the plate of rebellion of the known. Basically, someone could identify with any piece or parcel through desire or familiarity, and then slowly were sucked into the pit of drone-hood handing cash over for the promise of salvation. Huh… you would have thought he did do diligence by reading some Catholic history, because if I recall didn’t a Pope try this in the old country (pay for penitence, it’s your only way) and it cause a few assassination attempts on his life and some riots?

              Ok, I need a refill on the tea cup. I may be typing, but my pallete is parched! Just so you know, you are all distracting me from working on my projects today. 🙂

            • jojo neal

              RJ, GP, Dakini, Ze Moo: can’t tell you how I’ve enjoyed the above discussion.

              As Kathleen Norris has observed, there are no new heresies, only the same old ones over and over. Sci is a sleazy American version of Gnosticism (as cults tend to be – “Look, we alone have this Secret Knowledge that will give you great powers -“)

              I find it interesting that Marty got red in the face. The secret ingredient of his product mustn’t be exposed. Maybe he should look for a day job.

              Let me reiterate what I facetiously said earlier; It’s touted as scientific fact. The whole thing; our friend Mr. X and the engrams and the T’s, all discovered and proven by the great man himself.
              so, how is this a religion in any way, shape or form?
              Except of course for tax purposes.

              Dakini, I’m not getting any work done either!

            • ParticleMom

              I agree about the Jews, lol.

              When I was studying for my bat-mitzvah, I was very negative because I really didn’t believe in god. My Cantor noticed and asked me what was wrong. I told him the truth and that I didn’t want to go through with it if I wasn’t sure god existed. He laughed and told me that I didn’t need to totally believe, that being Jewish included thinking critcally, asking questions, studying, and most importantly, doing good deeds.

              While I am mostly agnostic, I still consider myself Jewish because of that conversation.

    • I’m a little concerned that your use of the word “nutcase” to describe Hubbard might unintentionally make him seem more harmless. Let’s not forget that the entire scheme was intended to separate people from their money and to undercut their free will to ensure that they wouldn’t question his authority. To that end he also created “Fair Game”, the Guardian’s Office and the RPF.

  • grundoon

    I don’t want to look at Miscavige’s ugly smirking mug five more times until the final round! Knock him out now, before it’s too late!

    Vance Woodward is a helluva guy, plus, way easier on the eyes. +1 for Vance!!

  • sugarplumfairy

    It’s truly amazing.. “(founded 95,000,000 yrs ago, very space opera)” was obviously added as an afterthought.. So… He wrote.. And then he thought about what he wrote.. And then he added THAT.. Because he thought it would make it more believable?? Or because he wanted to test the extent of his hypnotic hold over his suckers??

    I can just seem him sitting at his desk laughing to himself..

    • richelieu jr

      Cat desperately needed an editor…

      • Sherbet

        Cat desperately needed meds.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          Cat desperately needed a toothbrush.

          • FistOfXenu

            And Hubbard needed all 3. 😛

          • Missionary Kid

            Cat desperately needed wog ethics.

      • ParticleMom

        I can’t get over that the most important writing in the religion was a FIRST DRAFT. He didn’t bother to rewrite it to make it legible or fix his mistakes. It reads more like an idea for a (bad) story. “very space opera” Sigh, smh.

        • richelieu jr

          Yes, PM!
          It’s like he was dashing it off in a Denny’s at 3am…

          “So there was an aline, names Sh’bi–no!, Xenu (with a ‘Z’ sound’), adn he came from planet in the”(?) star system… He tok over the Empire by (surprise? using a special power or something…?) and then called everyone in for an.. IRS audit! Yeah, that’s it! Soe he flies them in some sort of ship.. like a big 727 airplane, in fact it even looks lie one probably! EXACTLY like one.. but no, erm propellers, of course! IN fact– EVERYONE looks just lie now! Ssame clothes, shirts, hats… everything! Even all of this happened like 976million gazillion years ago, or something…
          So, Sh’b– XENU (damn!) puts them all in volcanoes…something..something… and blows them up with atom bombs (NOTE: UPDATE!) only they become angry ghost demo– chemons? he-mans…? thumb.. theme..theet.. theeties! No, the-ton– THETANS! WIth little pitchforks and horns (probably or something..something..) And they stuck to everyone and you have to get them of of you. rrr body…. something..something…e-meter…

          Yeah, that looks about right! Now just one more beer and off to bed…
          Now all I need it a typewriter.. Damn, the office is closed!
          Ah, screw it! You can kind of make it out, and the teacher never really reads these things anyways..”

    • grundoon

      I imagine it this way… That day L. Ron Hubbard was too full of pinks, greys and booze to bloviate, so he just grabbed a sheaf of papers from his Astounding SF rejection box. Students had pre-paid and were on board ready to start, so he either had to come up with something fast, or give their money back.

  • Well anyone with 2 cent left in his pocket should ask this question. just how was this great Xenu capable of capturing these Thetan’s that have no wave length locate or identity of any kind; to blow up to begin with? Is he claiming yet an unclaimed ability or higher state of Being yet un raveled?

    • sugarplumfairy

      I’d like to know how hub accessed 75,000,000 year old census records..

      • Andrew Robertson

        Ron had body thetans just as we all do. But such was his self auditing skill he was able to identify his main thetan who by quite by chance had been Head Statistician of the Marcab Confederation before he was arrested for falsifying his tax returns, frozen in alcohol and glycol and transported to our prison planet.

        After relentless questioning Ron was able to discover Incident I and Incident II (the R6 Implants) and thus piece together the history of the universe over the last 4 quadrillion years. Not many other people could do that without copious use of mind-altering drugs.


        (Where has my avatar gone? It was there yesterday. Why has Disqus made me a non-person?)

        • sugarplumfairy

          Well.. that explains it then..

          And, not to sound paranoid, but maybe recently thawed former marcabian head statistician now works for Disqus?

          • PreferToBeAnon2

            Now that I believe.

        • “Head Statistician of the Marcab Confederation”….Is that what that thing is that manifested itself on the top of the Commodore’s noggin? I wonder if it was able to ennumerate LRH’s remaining hairs before he audited it away?

        • Your avatar was frozen in glycol and is being shipped via DC-8 to an implant station.

      • Sherbet

        Government office infiltration, just like Operation Snow White.

        • sugarplumfairy


    • Bob

      DHB, They were all originally in bodies and captured and then when blown up the thetans were gathered up by a huge magnetic arch. Thus the Golden Arches that are so popular now, were born.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        A Big Mac sounds kinda good!

        • Bob

          Yes, I consumed many in the name of total freedom! 🙂

          • RMycroft

            Did you tell them to make you One With Everything?

            • 1subgenius

              oh myyyy!

            • Bob

              As far as I am concerned that is best come back I have ever read in this blog.
              LOL 🙂 😎

    • DeElizabethan

      Good question donnie! I wondered the same thing. Like your supposition.

  • Dean Blair

    OT 3 is also known as “The Wall of Fire”. It is a level that denotes a barrier. The wall would give one the idea that once you break through this barrier you will be able to move freely. The trouble is that there are other levels above this and I have seen OT 5 called “The Second Wall of Fire”.

    I have been through both walls of fire and I can attest that there is nothing dangerous in either except ones belief that they exist in the first place. My belief is that Hubbard was mad (insane) and while most insane individuals are locked up or should be, L Ron Hubbard flew over the Cuckoos nest and succeeded in convincing others to believe in his insane reality.

    • richelieu jr

      Once you break through both Walls of Fire you must deal with the Roof of Fire caving in on you. At that point, you must try and rescue the Kids of Fire and the Pets of Fire before the House of Fire consumes them. At this point the Wife of Fire may berate you for trying to rescue your Golf Clubs of Fire, Baseball Cards of Fire or the TV of Fire instead of her Jewelry Box of Fire or her Wedding Dress of Fire. She may remind you she carried your Kids of Fire for Nine Fiery Months…

      Shortly after the Firemen of Fire show up and put out the Fire of Fiery Things, the Ambulance Chasers of Fire will show up with Business Cards of Fire to hand out. It is here recommended that the OTIII of Fire tell them to take a Fiery Jump on a Fiery Rolling Donut of Fire.

      (Who knows, maybe they’ll catch pneumonia…)

      • Ze Moo

        Someone is very crispy this morning. ” Fiery Rolling Donut of Fire.” hmmmm jalapeno fritters….yum, yum

      • Sherbet

        Oh, gosh, richelieu, even having a newborn (read: exhaustion) hasn’t sapped your ability to make me laugh.

        • PreferToBeAnon2

          richelieu, how is the new little thetan doing?

      • Observer

        omg, now I’m going to be alarming hubby all day by bursting into random bouts of laughter whenever i think of this …

      • jojo neal

        (Coffee All Over Keyboard) Merci, mon ami!

      • i-Betty


    • RMycroft

      But did they get through the Wall of Voodoo?

      • VickiStubing

        Ooh, Mexican Radio, too. Beans, anyone? (Rice is also available for those on the RPF.)

        • Ze Moo

          What about Jonnie Cash, ‘Ring of Fire’? I always thought that was about a hard to cure STD.

          • 1subgenius

            I used to do Ring of Fire in karaoke and dedicate it to all the hemorrhoid sufferers in the audience.
            “And you know who you are.”

          • Are_sics

            Hemmorhoids. Preparation H wanted to use it for a commercial; they couldn’t get the licensing.

            The Zappa version might be either one…. hmmm.

            • Ziontologist

              the Zappa version has a reference to Anusol …

            • Are_sics

              Good catch.

            • FistOfXenu

              Preparation H for $cientologists = Preparation Hubbard. Because he was such a pain in the ass.

      • 1subgenius

        Try this version by El Vez, the greatest showman of all time.

        • Captain Howdy

          The Zeros..FTW !

          • 1subgenius

            El Vez=Robert Lopez=The Zeros
            Capt. Howdy ftw.

    • Are_sics

      No danger? How can you say that? I mean, no danger to wogs, maybe, but if you “believed” in Source, then I’m not sure how you got through the grade school math error he makes.

      “250 billion or so per planet… 178 billion on average” … ??? Really?

      If I try to take that literally now, I start getting sick immediately! And I’m someone tough enough to have gotten past the parenthetical “very space opera” already! Only the lulz protect.

    • Luis Agostini

      Hi Dean.
      I also went through both “walls of fire” and I did myself tremendous harm by agreeing with it (n the end it did prove to be a tremendous blessing as it impulsed me into digging myself ou by my by own means and thus discovering my own “bridge”).
      Empowering other souls as being the source and cause of my “case” weakened me tremendously, formed false entrapping barriers in me, and placed me at being very much effect..
      I believe that the difference in harm they can do is directly proportional to the consideration they are the only solution to one’s need to rid oneself of one’s issues. And I had chronic issues I needed to get rid of. That is why I caused them to do so much harm to me.

  • jensting

    Sorry Vance, but most people are less likely to cause the downfall of the criminal organisation known as the “church” of $cientology than David “he is NOT insane!” Miscavige himself.
    While I did have an excessive knee-jerk reaction to the last time Tony posted about an ex-member who thought critics overdid the Xenu angle (the website from which teh quote was taken was a bit more nuanced than I had assume – my bad), I think it would be a grave error to refrain from criticising the Co$ for lying about Xenu. That’s not to say that other things are not worthy of reasoned critique (or ridicule, for that matter), but keeping Xenu a trade secret (of sorts) has to be one of those things that are too good to be left alone.

    • scnethics

      Agreed, and as another commenter pointed out, it can cause great dissonance for a member to see the OT III story bandied about by mere wogs who seem no worse the wear for it (when the exposure should be killing them).

  • RMycroft

    The stupid thing about the Wall of Fire thing is that Hubbard also claimed to have arrived on Earth relatively recently in a previous life. (But he can’t remember where he parked his spaceship.)

    So, if he wasn’t here for the Xenu/Incident II thing, he wouldn’t have the R6 implant or all the body thetans to audit out, and no dangerous Wall of Fire to break his back with.

    Yes, I know I’m using Hubbard Science to disprove Hubbard Science.

    • PreferToBeAnon2

      “(But he can’t remember where he parked his spaceship.)”

      Among the many, many things I hate about Scientology watching is that I often cannot tell when one is joking. While I smile and nod above the surface, it is just below that my feet are madly churning for solid ground. I have no idea if this is a humorous quip or if it is actually what Hubbard said.

      The same goes for Andrew’s comment below: “he was able to identify his main thetan who by quite by chance had been
      Head Statistician of the Marcab Confederation before he was arrested for
      falsifying his tax returns…” As for Bob’s comment about a huge magnetic arch…

      I feel like I a teenager who has unwittingly joined a science fiction book of the month club… the stories keep coming in brown packages and I can’t stop it! I want a grown-up to step in and put an end to it.

      • Trustmeonthis

        We ALL want a grown-up to step in and put an end to it!
        Maybe someday…

      • RMycroft

        At one point Hubbard was sailing around the Mediterranean, looking for treasures that he’d claimed to have buried in past lives. I don’t believe that they ever found any of those.

        • Missionary Kid

          He found treasure, all right, but it was in the pockets of his followers.

      • ParticleMom

        As I understand it, the spaceship thing was actually something Hubbard said. Head Statistician is a clever joke by Andrew. I’m not sure about the magnetic arch, though. Please correct me if I’m wrong 🙂

    • Missionary Kid

      If it was such an advanced society, why didn’t he just use his remote to get the spaceship to flash it’s lights and beep?

      • RMycroft

        I guess it didn’t have an Eternal Battery.

        • Missionary Kid

          Using non-hubbardian logic, I came to the conclusion that his illustration using the DC-8 sized vehicles to transport beings was an illustration of how stuck he was in past technology, Other SF writers had conceived of space ships far larger by orders of magnitude, so he didn’t even bother to borrow fro m them

  • Scientia

    OTIII & NOTS are essentially courses in visualisation and guided imagery, using processes designed to empower the self. Using BTs and an alien holocaust is simply a means to an end. (The end being $100k in debt, losing one’s home, and being expelled then shunned for daring to think the results may only be temporary).

  • BuryTheNuts2

    OK, DM is gonna knock this one out of the park…I get that.
    But damn it…I voted for Vance..cuz I freaking am totally in love with that guy!

    • aquaclara

      I voted for Vance, too, for the incredible job he’s done in exposing this mess of a cult to both the outside world and those in the cult who are able to access his work. Davy may walk away with this one, exposed as the crackpot he is, but it’s well worth noting that without enormous pressure from Vance and others, Lil Davy would not have had so much pressure with which to combust. Pow! Pow! It’s a 1-2 punch! Keep it all coming!

  • Miscavige isn’t crazy…his mother had him tested.

  • Sherbet

    This SMERSH round is a toughie. The guy who is, by all accounts, single-handedly destroying cos from the inside, or the man who continues to tell the world about it. I’ve got to think about this one.

  • When I learned that the Los Angeles Times was seeking to obtain the OT III materials, I envisioned seeing on the news people being wheeled out of the LA Times building in stretchers, incapcitated by premature exposure to these dangerious materials. The next day, The LA Times published a summary of the Xenu story, which I bravely read. I was not too surprised, having been fascinated by the Marcab Confederacy and other bits of space opera sprinkled into the non-confidential tech. The following day a Associated Press article based on the LA Times story ran around the world, and I waited for news of a mass epidemic.

    There was none. What I had been told about OT III was crap. At that point I became an ex-Scientologist.

    • Sherbet


    • SP ‘Onage


    • TonyOrtega

      Great story.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      And that right there is why XENU will always be so important to taking down the cult!

      • Trustmeonthis

        Good point. Is Xenu in the running for the Smadness? Because I can see it coming down to Xenu vs Elron vs Miss Cabbage… THAT might make our heads explode!

    • The Dakini

      Bravo Racnad!

    • Are_sics

      Amazing story. I guess people get through their own lack of superpowers, or being able to get rid of their eyeglasses, or lack of perfect recall, or whatever it is they promised, because they have to report “wins” and there’s social pressure, and social status, to claim to be happy with progress?

      Anyway, it makes sense to me that the trigger would be seeing Hubbard’s warnings be what did not happen to other people. Thanks for sharing with us!

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      Racnad, while you made the very bad decision to become an ex-Scientologist, thousands of millions of people said yes to Scientology and that is why the Church of Scientology is in straight up and vertical highest ever screaming affluence.

      And we in RTC wish to welcome our newest member Bernie Madoff:

      • InTheNameOfXenu

        Yep, Bernie will fit right into your crime syndicate.

  • Roger Larsson

    If the Canary Islands began to emerge from the ocean depths about 23 million years ago and Hawai is approximately 400,000 years, Kure Atoll is the oldest of the Hawaiian islands approximately 28 million years, Xenu must have dropped H bombs in the sea 75 million years ago and caused incidents in fish and clams.
    It’s maybe the reason why birds fly, fish swim and clams shut up?

    With Hubbard as the director body thetans are the bad guys and scientologists the good guys.
    To have body thetans as SUPER STARS exorcising scientologists could be an idea as good.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Holy Haddock!

      • Missionary Kid

        No. Holy Mahi Mah!

      • John P.

        I am floundering in an attempt to come up with a reply to “Holy Haddock.” But I will do my best, just for the halibut.

      • Roger Larsson

        Bull shit is holy compared with the religious scriptures in the Church of Scientology.

        • Ze Moo

          When properly mixed with soil, bovine excrement creates a rich organic fertilizer in which almost anything grows well. Humans have been doing this on porpoise for a long time in order to make a whale of a broccoli bunch. These puns brought to you by the Sturgeon General.

          • Roger Larsson

            When two and four legged jump, kick, p and poop on mother Earth she creates with the help of water and with the suns help more beautiful flowers.

            She isn’t that noble as many other mothers are.

      • VickiStubing

        We prefer Holy Mackerel. But only on Fridays. During Lent.

      • Observer

        Nooooo … the puns …

        Help! Help! I’m being suppressed!

        • sugarplumfairy

          Lol.. Noe we’ll see the violence inherent in the system..

  • Marty Rathbun’s assertion that people were taking OT III too literally was a Scientology Public Relations Technique (lie) he used to deal with the clear insanity of Hubbard’s writings, and the years he spent dramatizing them as a Loyal Officer in Hubbard’s role playing game of the Sea Org.

    Hubbard said that the Sea Org itself was created as a response to the “discovery” of the OT III incident. (ref. RJ 67) So Marty, as Inspector General for Ethics in the RTC, was wearing a fake navy uniform and running around “getting ethics in” on Planet Earth so that the 4rth dynamic engram of OT III could be run out.

    He spent decades dramatizing this role playing game and doing lots of bad things to lots of people, all with this fraud of OT III in his head.

    All this for a metaphor?

    I don’t think so.

    But how else do you deal with the fact that your whole life has been devoted to a fraud than to say that it was all just a metaphor, that Hubbard didn’t really mean it literally and neither did I. “Sheesh you guys – lighten up! Quit being so literal minded!

    I was in Scientology for 16 years and never reached OT III. When I came across a mention of Xenu and The Body Thetans early in my Scientology career in a book by Robert Kaufman called “Inside Scientology/Dianetics: How I Joined Dianetics/Scientology and Became Superhuman”, I was lied to by people who had done OTIII, who told me that what I had read in that book was false.

    In fact, I was lied to continually about OT III while I was in Scientology. What’s funny is that most of my friends who were not in Scientology, and who watched South Park, knew more about the truth of Scientology in this area than I did. And to this day they still think that when I was a Scientologist, I believed in Xenu.

    It’s too difficult to explain to them how it actually worked, so I don’t even try.

    Lying about OT III seems to be the only way to be “ethical” once you’ve been saddled with this horror show of a religious belief. Hubbard also compounded the lies, and the horror, by saying that anyone who was exposed to the materials before they were “ready” (meaning they had paid the money for the services leading up to it) would catch pneumonia and die.

    A metaphor that kills you?

    Hubbard’s lies about OT III installed a phobia that caused many Scientologists, including me, a terror about the contents of their own minds, with no choice but to trust in standard Scientology as your only talisman to handle it “safely”.

    The whole subject of OT III is really a very vicious and cruel lie, meant to terrorize and trap Scientologists and take them for as much money as can be gotten from them.

    It is definitely not a metaphor. It is all taken quite literally. Just as Hubbard was never blinded and crippled, and never cured himself with Dianetics, the Sea Org itself would not exist if it were not for OT III in Scientology. Thus, it is clear that Scientology is literally built on lies. It is a toxic spiritual deception and it needs to be continually exposed so that no one falls prey to it ever again.

    Thank you Tony Ortega and Jon Atack for exposing these lies, and for setting the record straight about OT III. It’s good to know that because of the work of people like you, very few people in future generations will be deceived by Scientology ever again.


    • PreferToBeAnon2

      Good comment Alanzo! I can only imagine how you tried to reconcile all of this.

      Within the past year or so Marty actually verbalized it as being a metaphor in an interview. I wonder what was going through his mind and if he actually still believes it. Perhaps he just said it so that he would have a continuing flock. I suppose, with the Indies, it isn’t still just about saving auditing but still includes the root of the thetan matter.

      • I think it is time for Marty and Mike both to start telling the truth to Scientologists after lying to them for so many decades. I think Marty has been inching in that direction in the last few months. But really, I don’t think inching is the correct estimation of effort in this case.

        “FLOOD GATES”, “DATA DUMP”, “DELUGE”, is more like it.

        But that’s just me.



        • Vistaril

          Do you think Marty and the M&M Show are really inching towards decompression or setting up Div 6 while the blatantly KSW-delivery brigade pretend to stomp their little feet and go play somewhere else, out the internet gaze? I know, I know . . . tinfoil alert, its just that whenever Scientology is being considered there always remain those two constants: its never as it first appears and its always worse than you think.

          Maybe I should do I survey ; )

          • I have no idea what Marty and Mike are doing. It may be that they don’t know, either.

            All I do know is that they have such a long history of lying that you can’t trust anything they say or appear to be doing at any given time. If they keep lying, if they keep snowing and PRing Scientologists like they did when they were at INT Base, and if they do nothing to dispel these lies they told, still saying things like “OT III was just a metaphor”, and “DM was the guy to lie about OT 9 and 10, not LRH”, then I see no reason to think that they have changed at all.

            They are still being Loyal Officers of L Ron Hubbard, the Commodore.

            And so all their Mission Orders still apply.


            • Sidney18511

              Marty is making a living from auditing so he has to keep up the clam scam.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              I read “clam scam” that time!

              I am cured!

              Who said there was no end phenomenon?

            • FistOfXenu

              Oh look! I just found some CLAM SAUCE!

              OH NO! BTN, I think you have clam sauce sleeper BTs!

            • 1subgenius

              They are like too many divorced people. Still obsessed with the ex.

        • Cymboli Starsong

          Rathbun has completely ignored Beyond Belief to the point that I have lost any shred of respect that I once had for him. He and Rinder have hidden behind “Just following orders” for far too long now.

          • InTheNameOfXenu

            I’ve brought up the fact that on Marty’s blog that all of Scientology’s problem stemmed from Hubbard himself and his f**cked up policies. So far I haven’t been censored, but they both ignore my responses to their posts. Some of his flock do acknowledge me though. So I think that Marty has been making a shift to more open discussion and criticism of Hubbard, if ever so slowly.

        • J. Swift

          Alanzo, your allegations embody Gerry Armstrong’s intractable dilemma.

          Gerry attacks and vilifies Marty and Mike liars even as he demands that they help him in his long dead-ended legal case.

          For the sake of argument, even if Mike and Marty were to help Gerry, OSA’s attorneys would produce Gerry’s extensive body of work where he castigates Marty and Mike as liars. Gerry would then have to explain to the court why Mike and Marty are liars except when they tell the truth to help Gerry.

          I do not understand Gerry’s logic or strategy in this regard.

          • Ms. B. Haven

            I think the simple answer here is that if Mike and Marty wanted to help, they would have to take responsibility for this situation and confess to having lied, thus negating OSA’s arguments. Just my opinion, I’m no legal type. Considering the background of all those involved, I’m not holding my breath waiting for any indie to come to the aid of Mr. Armstrong.

            • J. Swift

              Mike and Marty and many of the Indies have been the FBI and have spoken at length to the media. Not sure what they are supposed to “confess” in terms of Gerry’s case. I say this because one of Gerry’s central problems is that the court held he signed a legally valid settlement and took $800,000.

              Don’t know how Mike and Marty are supposed to extricate Gerry from of a contract he signed with the Church in exchange for $800,000. That is the part left unexplained by Gerry and his supporters.

            • If Marty and Mike really wanted to correct the wrongs that they committed on people like Gerry Armstrong and so many others, they wouldn’t sit around like sneering teenagers and say how they don’t know how they are supposed to help.

              They would just help, like so many others have from INT Base when they got out – such as Mike Rinder’s predecessor Robert Vaughn Young, as well as Jesse Prince, and others.

              Just compare Marty and Mike’s behavior to those people’s.

              Their outpoints emerge in sharp detail.


            • J. Swift: Did you see the OSA program Marty posted on his site about me, that is a 25++ step program, written in 2006? My ~guess~ is Gerry wants to see his, no matter what he’s said about

              M and M. What Gerry does w/ *that* is his business, but I agree with him he should at least be able to SEE it. So far that has not been posted.

            • And neither has anybody else’s, except for Chuck Beatty’s.

              Has anyone else’s OSA Program been published by Marty and Mike?

              I saw your post on Marty’s blog, asking for others’ Fair Game programs to be posted, Tory. I think that is very cool of you to do that.

              I have been asking Marty and Mike about this since 2009.

              Do you think Vaughn Young or Stacy Brooks or Jesse Prince – all INT Base escapees just like Marty and Mike – would have kept all that secret for so long?

              I don’t.

              I wonder why, if they really are who they say they are, they are still keeping all that secret?


          • Mary_McConnell

            I think that Gerry is actually wanting affidavits from Mike and Marty that state the truth. I certainly believe he deserves that and that we deserve that, too.

      • Schockenawd

        Sorry if I’ve missed something, but has Marty or anyone else ever articulated what the Xenu story is supposed to be a metaphor for? To shrug it off as simply being a metaphor without giving a fuller explanation would be lazy.

        • The “it’s a metaphor” line is supposed to deflect attention AWAY from the subject. “Move along folks, nothing to see here, it’s just a metaphor!”

          Getting in to the meaning of the metaphor would call more attention to it and defeat the purpose of the PR handling.

          This used to work for Marty in the Church because if you didn’t move along he could have you arrested, literally. But out here, people actually listen to him, and question him when he lies.

          I don’t think he’s used to that yet.


          • FistOfXenu

            So we get to work out for ourselves what it means right? We come up with possible ideas and then we decide which is the best one? Okay, I’ll start.

            1st thing, Xenu is a metaphor for Hubbard.

            Incident I is a metaphor for Hubbard’s activities with Jack Parson. Everything in Incident I is really symbolic of Hubbard practicing wank magic with Jack Parsons and then ripping him off and taking Sara and Parson’s money. The 4 quadrillion years = how Hubbard wanted to put it behind him so everybody would forget he ever did it. Otherwise they’d know how much $cientology is ripped off from Crowley. He leaves out the filler details because he really doesn’t want anybody thinking much about it.

            The loud snapping and waves of light = his symbols for doing the VIIIth degree of Crowley’s OTO ritual, the one called “Magic Masturbation”. LRH is telling us these orgasms were overwhelming.

            The bit about the chariot = when Hubbard discovered he was bisexual and was stuck between attraction and shame/left and right. And the cherub comes out = Ron’s delusion that they succeeded in creating the “moon child” Babalon. That’s Marjorie Cameron. Blowing the horn maybe = one of them needed a little help getting it up. I’ll leave that to the imagination. More masturbating but instead of being born the “cherub” retreats. They know they failed.

            The blackness dump = LRH deciding there was no future for him in sitting in a room wanking with Jack Parsons. That’s when he goes to Florida.

            Incident II is a metaphor for how Hubbard created $cientarCONon.

            All that stuff about the 76M yrs and that, it’s just to make you think about Incident II more and make it feel like it must be real because it has all those details.

            Now the H-bomb = the belief in human freedom and the volcanos = the human race. The explosions = humanity realizing they can be self determining and not slaves. But to Hubbard human freedom contradicts one of his admissions that “all men shall be my slaves” so he saw this as something evil.

            The thetans and the ribbons and the implants and all that = the way Hubbard put his own spin on human freedom to show that if we aren’t his slaves we’re not free. R6 = is more Hubbard spin on freedom, that choosing for ourseles is a false freedom because we aren’t LRH’s slaves.

            Bottom line is Incident II is about Hubbard convincing $cientarCONonists the purpose of surviving is to be his slaves, and to train them that every time anything about freedom and self-determination comes their way they should replace it with the idea that until people are Hubbard’s slaves they aren’t free. Like 1984 and “slavery is freedom”.

            Metaphorical enough? 😛

            • Observer

              Body thetans = the spermatozoa ceremonially wanked out by Jack Parsons as Hubbard watched and took notes, striving in vain to find an egg and create a meat sack (the spermatozoa, not Hubbard).

        • jojo neal

          Yeah, metaphor for what??? Does Marty know but he’s just not telling? Shake it out of him, Tony!

          • It’s not meant to be taken literally… it’s a metaphor for any manufacturer of dairy products!

            • jojo neal

              Didn’t lrh say that it was all scientifically proven – “Test tube stuff”? He put Xenu in a test tube and shook him, creating the delicious ‘XenuShake’?
              Not dairy products. Something from the other end of a boy cow.

        • I really need to remember to read all the comments before commenting myself. I have exactly the same question.

    • Missionary Kid

      The image I have, after reading your post, is of a Hollywood style witch doctor, uttering mumbo-jumbo and waving magical sticks and dancing around to impress the natives, then walking off the set to his typewriter so he can write out orders, using a halfhearted attempt at military jargon.

      I know, I know, it’s a weird dream, but a horror story to those in Co$.

    • Ms. B. Haven

      I was ‘in’ for about 13 years and didn’t even make it to Clear even tho’ I had one hellava stack of PC folders. That must make me a ‘no-case-gain’ suppressive. But at least I was an honest no case gain suppressive and didn’t attest to something that didn’t exist (at least on that level). In retrospect, everything I attested to was false. There is no such thing as permanent case gain. One can do something (scientology or any other activity) and feel like they are on the top of the world, have all sorts of new insights, gain new abilities, etc., etc. The fact is, you can always go further, look deeper, gain more knowledge, more ability, it’s called living life. The wisest people I know are never content to rest on their laurels. ‘End Phenomena’ is an illusion.

      All of the OT III folks that I knew would only vaguely elude to how wonderful the level was except for one. When she completed OT III I asked her about it and she just shrugged and said that she wasn’t impressed by it. I’m sure that she didn’t write that on her mandatory ‘success story’ when she completed the course or she would still be hanging out with the ethics officer.

      I didn’t find out any details about the contents of OT III until many years after I left and the internet arrived. I also had a deep seated fear of finding out about this material because I was not Clear. Curiosity got the better of me. I read, I learned, I was inspired to dig deeper, I found out more about what was really going on, I survived it all with zero ill effects, and now experience infinitely more levels of freedom than I ever hoped for whilst in the thralldom of scientology. My bank account is also in better shape.

      • Observer

        Scientology suppressive = honest, rational human being

      • aquaclara

        Hmmm. Mandatory success story day…. I have a few of those to share! Maybe Tony will open up the blog for success story day when Smersh ends!! What fun we could have! Now, is there an “official” right way to craft one’s success story? Are metaphors allowed? Do share, please!

    • the best and easiest understandable answer to the question “Do you believe in Xenu?” just say no.

      Say “Xenu caused the Wall of Fire incident. Xenu caused the most harmful incident in this sector of the galaxy, per Hubbard.”

      “Scientologists have to do a whole lotta exorcism, in fact Clearwater, Florida is the exorcism capital of earth, and more exorcism goes on in Clearwater than at any time in earth’s history! All because Xenu caused the 4th Dynamic Engram, the super big engram, 75 million years ago!”

      :”The Clearwater Scientologists are exorcising from themselves all the dead space alien souls which Xenu mass murdered 75 million years ago, and Xenu implanted all those dead alien souls.”

      “Xenu is just Scientology’s baddest bad guy!”

      • AlleyOop

        Hmmm, do they have a permit from the city for unleashing all these BTs on unsuspecting inhabitants?

      • InTheNameOfXenu

        Xenu is their version of Satan, but it is forbidden to speak about it, even among OT III’s. The Loyal Officers are Hubbard’s sci-fi versions of Archangels who did battle with Xenu/Satan. Fatty really had no imagination. I’ve come up with better sci-fi ideas drinking vodka martinis.

    • I’ve never seen Marty et al say what the Xenu thing is supposed to be a metaphor for.

    • Once again, brilliant commentary by Alanzo.

    • 1subgenius

      “But how else do you deal with the fact that your whole life has been devoted to a fraud than to say that it was all just a ………………..”

      As cops in the “bunko squad” will tell you, this is the part of human nature that allows many cons/scams to not even be reported.
      Shame and embarrassment.

      • FistOfXenu

        Dear Marty, please be advised you devoted all those years of your life to being trained in a metaphor instead of learning some real skills for use in the real world. That means you’re skills are just a metaphor too. But you’re still young. It’s time to drop the metaphor and meet reality. Learn to do something that really works on problems that really exist in the world that really is. It’s not as painful as you think.

        • 1subgenius

          “It’s not as painful as you think.”

          Its really not.
          Another part of human nature that chooses the devil we know over the one we don’t know.

        • RMycroft

          “It’s not as painful as you think.”

          Doesn’t that depend on how painfully he thinks?

          • 1subgenius


    • Platopus


  • sharon brown

    Another unfair one Tony, a hard choice ! It’ll be interesting to see who wins pitting Tiny Fists against LRH ! Vance I LOVED your book, still roflmao at it, cheering for you All the way ! Thanks for the maddening insight into why people join and stay, trying to get up the illusive ” Bridge ” ! But Davey boy’s megalomaniacal behavour towards his own Is truly erroding his fifedom from the inside out, so he won out on that alone !

  • Vistaril

    IMHO, the main reason Scientologists, both in and outside the cult, play down the Xenu/Xemu aspect is that knowledge of it is a one-shot inoculation against ever wanting to pollute your mind with Scientology. Once a person is informed about Xenu/Xemu, it then becomes easy to explain that the main function of Scientology is to distract from fraud by systematically reducing a person’s cognitive functioing down to such a state that they will happily sit alone “duplicating” Xenu/Xemu to Body Thetans. For years and years and years. In short, it reveals that Scientology presents officially as a religion, is accepted generally as a kooky but harmless UFO cult, but actually exists at its black core as an international on-going organised criminal conspiracy to defraud, and has done since the day L Ron Hubbard said he used Dianetics to cure war injuries. What’s more, there’s no satute of limitations for conspiracy.

    Another reason, I suggest, that Scientologists don’t like talking about Xenu/Xemu is that it is – these days especially – impossible for any of them to counter (as they are required by scripture to do) without being exposed as a liar. Accordingly, if a Scientologist is willing to lie about the central teachings of what it claims to be “the most ethical group on the planet”, then what else are they lying about? The answer to that, of course, is pretty much everything. In fact, now, in 2013, I think its valid to say most people (in the West) already know more about Scientology than any Scientologist, and wog knowledge of the subject can be summed up in one word: avoid.

    So far as the name Xenu/Xemu is concerned, is that another example of L Ron Hubbard’s plagiarism . . . or just coincidence?

    • RMycroft

      Inside Scientology February 23, 2006, Janet Reitman, Rolling Stone

      Rinder has fielded questions on Scientology’s beliefs for years. When I ask him whether there is any validity to the Xenu story, he gets red-faced, almost going into a tirade. “It is not a story, it is an auditing level,” he says, neither confirming nor denying that this theology exists. He says that OT material — and specifically the material on OT III — comprises “a small percent” of what Scientology is all about. But it is carefully guarded. Scientologists on the OT levels often carry their materials in locked briefcases and are told to store them in special secure locations in their homes. They are also strictly forbidden from discussing any facet of the materials, even with their families. “I’m not explaining it to you, and I could not explain it to you,” says Rinder heatedly. “You don’t have a hope of understanding it.”

    • Missionary Kid

      Would it help that at the next demonstration, people chant, “We love xenu,” and carry signs with stuff like, “Thetans died for your sins!” or some such nonsense?

      • Vistaril

        That’s a really good question in that it touches on the inherent tension which exists between the groups outside of the cult who are working to bring it down. As I see it, chanting Xenu would certainly help with the further inoculation of wogs but is likely to be meaningless to the bulk of the prisoner-Scientologists. So, it all depends on who it is your are addressing – wogs or the prisoner-Scientologists? Some exes have told me that if you are seeking to free the prisoners, it could be counter productive because they themselves have been inoculated (via lies, the on-going hypnotism and the general cult environment) to expect protesters to be insane and babble meaningless messages. Doing so, as they would perceive, might strengthen the bonds to the cult. Personally, I’m all in favour of the LOL-Xenu strategy for a number of reasons but mainly because my overall apprach to destroying the cult is by starving it of raw meat and ruining any respect it may have in wog world by laughing at it. There is nothing the Devil hates more than being mocked. So, to answer the question: YMMV.

        • Missionary Kid

          Th image of Tommy Davis getting amped up about the interviewer mentioning xenu, and claiming that he was mocking the sacred texts of the religion comes to mind. The idea is to get the level IVs and above upset. Of course, they could go Miscavage on you, so it might be good to have a video camera along so you can prove you didn’t throw the first punch.

          For the uninitiated clams, the more they hear the name mocked, when OTIII is finally revealed to them, hopefully it will appear as ludicrous as it should.

          • Vistaril

            PUBLIC SAFETY MESSAGE – Always have the camera running when you are dealing with Scilons.

            • J. Swift

              Yes, a camera is engrammic for Scientologists and their PI’s and journalists. It reminds these dol that the footage will be uploaded to the internet shortly.

        • Renee G

          I agree with that strategy. My goal is public education, and humor makes us protestors much more approachable by the public, allowing us to spread the message that Scientology ISN’T just a silly “alternative” religion. I want to make people curious enough that they plug the word “Scientology” into their search engine of choice and learn a little bit about this wacky cult.

          I have talked to public who have walked up to us that had NO IDEA what Scientology was– as in acted like they have never heard the word– but when I said “You know, what Katie escaped from?” you could see the light bulb go off in their head. That’s why I love the Katie/Tom signs.

    • LongNeckGoose

      Xemu originally appeared in a solo Human Torch story in Strange Tales back in the early 1960s, before Hubbard researched OTIII. Note to Marvel Comics: sue for copyright infringement. Stan Lee and Jack Kirby should be getting royalties, in my opinion.

      • Observer

        Lee and Kirby’s stories are far more believable.

  • This was a slightly easier match-up; though I too adore VW, DM’s poisonous presence has driven so many high-level Scientologists into the great Suppressive wilds, as well as sucking resources out of the Cult for fun and profit. I vote for The Littlest Caligula.

    As for OTIII, did it bother anybody else that Xenu chose to freeze his soul-cicles in glycol, which is ANTI-FREEZE? And capturing blown-up thetans on Intergalactic Flypaper before marching (or peeling) them off to the nearest Xenu Imax~~

    ~~If I’d paid eight hundred large for that, it’d be far more likely to kill me than reading it on the Internet. I can well understand how OTIIIs struggle to rationalize it rather than confronting the enormous, tragic waste of their resources.

    • Ze Moo

      Hubbard got his ‘scientific’ training from reading sci-fi. His college dropout education didn’t really catch. In the 40-s and 50’s sci-fi plots tried to reconcile real space flight with reality, just for the purposes of telling a good story. By treating the Marcabs with anti-freeze and freezing them, Lron tried to invent suspended animation for space flight. Other sci-fi authors had already invented suspended animation, so Lron just borrowed the plot device for his uses. That he didn’t know or care that ethylene glycol was a metabolic poison, just shows he slept through organic chemistry.

      • Roger Larsson

        Xenu failed to kill spirits off in volcanoes with H-bombs. LRH also failed to kill spirits off with the gas from rice and beans in his RPF prison camps.
        The ABC warfare against spirits has failed but there are still some letters left to the letter Z.

        Exploding stars have given us an existence according to astronomers.
        Some are stardust and others are nuclear waste material.
        A Xenu dropping H-bombs on stardust in volcanoes made nuclear waste material out of the stardust.

  • By the way, in addition to Jon Atack’s book “A Piece of Blue Sky”, an excellent resource for how OT III was actually developed, by an eyewitness who was with Hubbard on the ship in the Canary Islands when he concocted it, was created by Paul Adams from the posts of DartsMohen on ESMB.

    Here’s the link for more information:


    • PreferToBeAnon2

      Whoa! Talk about a rabbit hole!

    • Ms. B. Haven

      I briefly scanned this link, and there appears to be a real treasure trove of info here. I will be busy for a while sifting thru this one. Thanks.

    • Are_sics

      Thanks Alanzo…. it’s even downloadable for kindle. For the on the move Bunkerite!

      • Mobile entheta is the best entheta of all.

    • Thanks for that link Alanzo, that looks like fascinating reading.

  • I am not harshing on anyone or anything but this is just so ridiculous . It is one WTF thing after another. It is unbelievable that this would be believed…..

    • The Dakini

      You now know why so many of us are here and have been following this for so long.

      You cannot make this shit up.

      • I have been following it for about 3 years or so ..and i think i have kept up with it because of the people here in the comment section . Great conversations, great jokes etc. But every once and a while …like today …it really hits me that people actually thought this story was real . Grown up , adult people …who watch football ..go to the grocery store …shop at Target .Some destroyed their own lives, the lives of their CHILDREN and the lives of others over this . I can’t believe that i live in a time where it needs to be a priority to tell an adult person that they will not die by reading a story on the internet . How does one do that exactly without sounding totally insulting and condescending ? I obviously can’t .

        • The Dakini

          You cannot save someone from themselves. Sad, but true.
          You can only support them in their struggles without sacrificing yourself. Harder said then done. How much does that suck?

          There are many a time I’ve wanted to smack someone upside the head. It’s way easier and less painful for me to do just that. BAM! and my job is done. But alas, it’s never that effective. They may have a 15 second jolt, and then go into defense mode. Surprisingly a hug is often way more effective because it’s really unexpected.

          Hmmm… maybe we should start a “Have You Hugged a Scientologist Today?” campaign. Betcha that would really gode Tiny-fits craw.

          • sharon brown

            Lol, I am So down with that ! Major Enturbulation source ! Wonder if they have a run down for being hugged by a bunch of SP’s ! Roflmao ! Ah, the visual !

        • Bob

          I see no reason to be surprised by this. You question that you live in a time that people would believe in this lock, stock and barrel? Three years you have followed this. How about those who have believed in this for 30-60 years, how about 2000 years.. I thought Chucks summary was very accurate and well stated.
          I suggest you talk with any orthodox Catholic, Jew, Muslim, Mormon, Baptist, Pentecostal, Hindi etc. the Hubbard version of our history is wild and colorful but so are the versions in the bible and the Koran in their own right. Sheeple are Sheeple. And on this planet they are not in the minority. Their are those few shepherds who are usually more deluded than their flock and there are the followers who desperately need someone to lead them. There are now more “free thinkers” which at onetime I believed Hubbard was. But very few. And one thing that all these religions espouse is the salvation of the soul and the redemption of mankind. I don’t think that is hard to understand. It is all around us.

          • I come from a large Catholic family ( notice my last name haha ) I have family members who have received communion from the Pope himself …none of them believes the stories in the bible are literally true. Not one. I feel bad for you if you think that there are not a lot of free thinkers…you should get out more . There are 3 just in my house alone ….and one of them is 11

            • Bob

              Kim, Thanks for the advice. Yes your name denotes a lineage that comes from one of my favorite cultures. Rich with music and story. I think we all have anecdotal evidence that this may be true or false. I was careful to say orthodox. And I am referring to the global malaise that infects this planet.
              Whichever political or religious beliefs you may have, I have met few who understood or were informed about what they were following and the true motives behind their leaders. That is my subjective observation from having visited many places and people’s. Of course I was also stricken with the virus called Scientology for a good deal of that time. But even when I recovered I saw that many of my observations held true.

            • well ..i kind of want to give you a hug actually . I have also travelled all over the world ( i love 3rd world countries ) and i never came away with the feeling that there is a “global malaise” . I think that is a line that was fed to you when you had that scientology virus …kind of matches up with their “save the planet, clear the planet” thing. Sometimes people are happy , sometimes they are sad . Everyone suffers because ..not to sound too much like i am parroting Hitchens …we are born into a losing struggle and people want there to be an exception made in their case . All depending on where you are born ..that struggle can be intense. We can do what we can to alleviate it as much as possible but struggle IS a part of life. Us humans know that our time here is limited and it freaks some of them out so much they make up a religion …or follow one as if it will change that destiny . Trying to bob and weave around that fact is just going to make a person exhausted and they will miss the fun stuff . I think the world is an amazing place that tickles the senses, breaks our heart and fills us with joy . Since you were in scientology for so long …i think you owe yourself a little joy now . You deserve it

            • Bob

              Kim Thanks, I have been making up for lost time in the Joy department. It was a long time in coming. I appreciate your call out.
              I may come off as cynical but it was not Scn that turned my head regarding my world view. And now having watched certain predications come to pass I have learned to trust certain sources (not LRH) and their predictions and observations on where the owners of the global corporations are taking us. I stand by my observation that far too many people fall into the Sheeple category on this planet. But I do have a positive view that we can do something about it.

          • 1subgenius

            Comparing Scientology to anything else=fail.

      • nessness

        well, maybe not me but I believe that LRH did… 🙂 My only admiration is that he stayed with the story line for so long, you would think it would get boring. I think that is why all the past lives thing was invented, it let a gazillion story lines into the mix to keep things fresh, if fresh is a word one can use in reference to his mouthness.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      “I am not harshing on anyone or anything”

      Who the hell are you?
      You f*cking bring Kim back right now!!!

      • Well ..i WAS trying to be delicate. Scientology is just a story …it does not hurt or kill people ..the belief that it is true is what does it . And people can stop believing it any time they want . All they have to do is stop …not that hard. You stop believing in Santa …the tooth fairy etc. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS STOP ….

  • The “lower levels” of Hubbard’s Scientology pseudo-therapy, from the ARC Straightwire to “Clear” levels, results in the alleged past lives trauma elimination for the Scientology patient/parishioner.

    Subject Vol 3 of the 1991 edition of the red volumes has ALL of the pseudo-therapist [auditor] questions asked of the patient [preclear].

    The finalized lineup got Hubbard’s stamp of approval before he died.

    In 1982 Hubbard outlined for his followers in hi’s famously un-discussed undebated unreflected upon writing called “From Clear to Eternity”, green volume 4, pages 988-991, gives a public consumption hindsight view by Hubbard, of his whole shebang.

    He frames his whole Bridge to Total Freedom in terms of “case gain”, and he speaks in big general terms in this important 1982 writing.

    The way to get to the crux of the Xenu story is look at the damage Xenu did.

    The ‘case” damage that Xenu did, dwarfs all the “case” damage that the Scientologists supposedly clean themselves of, in the lower sections of the Bridge, up through the Clear state.

    Xenu caused the Wall of Fire mass murder incident. That’s a very heavy trauma in itself.

    Xenu then had all these billions of mass murdered souls in their bewildered state then given massive scale implanting for 36 and 1/2 days.

    Xenu ensured these bodiless and massively implanted souls remained trapped here on earth, to ever more, from 75 millions ago, to now, to swarm human beings, each time a new human baby was born, the “body thetans” then swarmed the new baby’s body, on top of the souls that we each individually are (we each as the single soul that we are, also jumped into the baby’s body of the body that we each inhabit, and the reader is a single soul, in their individual body, but just imagine you have hitchhiking in and around your body, tens of thousands or more, slightly dead in the head surplus souls who occassionally leak their mental trauma crazy thoughts into your head, that’s what Hubbard thought is causing us the additional “case” mental problems that Scientologists who reached the “Clear” mental state, were still experiencing.,)

    Hubbard discovering the Xenu Wall of Fire incident ,if taken in terms of the “case” damage that Xenu caused us, Hubbard thought and wrote repeatedly of the importance of the benefits of “handling” this “case” problem all earthlings suffer from, bar none of us.

    The Xenu incidents explain why there is so much MORE “case” to deal with, on the “upper levels” (OT 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7). OT 3 is the first exorcism level, OT 4 is exorcism of surplus souls who are drug addicts, OT 5 is wide exorcism hitting at the vast bulk of still hidden body thetans who swarm us. OT 6 is training for OT 7 which is Solo exorcism, high volume, and one gets the last swarms and clusters and leftover pesky body thetans still affixed to oneself.

    The “case gain” one gets doing all the “upper level” exorcism levels of Scientology, cleans one of all the mental turmoil that one’s swarms of body thetans were leaking into our minds.

    The Xenu story should be a relief to be told, since it explains why so much more “case” problems, mental voices and impulses, which are really just coming from one’s “body thetans” and “body thetan clusters”.

    It’s not our faults.

    It’s bad guy Xenu’s fault for all this inter-galactic mental turmoil that we suffer from, and which takes becoming an educated Scientologist to appreciate.

    Of course it’s in fact a huge amount of false memory implanting, rather than “Clear”ing a person, Hubbard is having people wean themselves into massive false memory and a bad science fiction story mental implanting.

    And the Hubbard exorcism (OT 3, NOTs and Solo NOTs) is a whole other level of falsely attributing our thoughts and impulses to the impulses of poltergeists hanging out in swarms, in our bodies!

    It’s very much a huge acquired mental surplus souls leaking their mental debris into our minds, pseudo-mental practice.

    Scientology builds up to being a past lives science fiction pseudo-therapy and exorcism false memory instilling practice. . .

    • Sidney18511

      Chuck….you explain up to OTVII. Is that the highest level that you reached? Do you know anyThing about OTVIII?

      • I only got to the fake Clear level, and thought all people who’d declared Clears were fakes, since none acted Clear, so I advanced backwards to Grade 0 and stuck there my whole Scientology staff career 1975-2003), LOL.

        OT 8 has a final required epiphany that is searchable on the internet. You get to the point you realize that you created all of your “whole track” case.

        I only have interviewed OT 8s who’ve done all the various OT 8 versions that were given out, and none of the OT 8 grads got any spiritual state anywhere as good as Buddhist meditators.

        Just search around the internet, the OT 8 big epiphany is out there a few clicks away.

        • BuryTheNuts2


          You all are welcome.

          • sharon brown

            Thanks for Stopping me Nuts, I was about to click away to the secrets of OT VIII ! I owe you !!! : )

        • aquaclara

          28 years….Ikes. Is there a certain expected path during that time or is it truly about the size of the wallet? When you were climbing up the bridge, did you feel like you were on the right track, whatever that might have been? Love your notes, Chuck. You possess a wealth of detail about this stuff. Sorry it didn’t turn out as you had expected.

  • The Dakini

    If the bracket was based insight, intelligence and discourse Vance would be advancing all the way to the finals. He is bringing down the CoS by doing good. Lots of good! And if Tiny-fists was silent in his organization I’d say Vance is a clear winner in this match up.

    Too bad..errr…correction: Actually how awesome for us that the COB has spent that past year communicating to us via nom de plumes with real faces! Lil’Tommy and K-Poww to name but two in 2012. How kind of him to stay in touch with us lowly little beings in the presence of his superiority. Especially when his intent backfires on him at every turn. My apologies Vance, based on entertainment value alone Miss Cabbage gets my vote on this one.

  • dwayners13

    This is one of the sections of Scientology that demonstrates that when the church says it’s perfectly compatible with Christianity, they’re either lying through their teeth or don’t know much about Christianity. For example, they say you can be a Christian & a scientologist, however they conveniently forget two very important components of Scientology, one being that because Scientologist believe that you come back over & over again (reincarnation), it conflicts with the Christian beliefs of heaven & hell (& for the Catholics, purgatory). This isn’t just a minor discrepancy, the existance of heaven & hell are pretty important to Christians, as going to heaven is kind of the ultimate goal for them. Then you have that little problem of Hubbard’s assertion that the story of “the man on the cross” was just one of the many 3D images Xenu implanted. I’m sure scientologist would describe these as minor differences, however as someone who attended a Roman Catholic school for 12 years, I can assure you that heaven, hell, purgatory & the belief that Jesus was real aren’t up for debate or minor details for Christians.

    • Ze Moo

      In papers filed for the 1993 IRS tax exemption, CO$ states that they expect their ‘converts’ to practice scamatology and nothing else. The ‘secret knowledge’ multi level marketing scam that is scientology depends on ‘their’ truth being revealed to the convert in small steps. If Xenu and the brain cooties were openly taught, the CO$ would have to honestly compete with other religions.

      If I had to pick between Xenu’s brain cooties and pastafarinism, I’d pick the noodley master any day. Now if I could just decide between the meatball, sausage or veal schism, I’d be set.

    • Many, many Christians do not believe in hell. That is actually a matter of serious debate among Christians. There are even quite a few Christians who are agnostic on the issue of whether Jesus was divine. However, I don’t think you’ll find a Christian who is okay with being told Jesus never existed.

  • In a context between Xenu and Hubbard, I’ll bet on Xenu~

    Xenu outshines Hubbard for impact in this sector of the galaxy, for sure!

  • Very important in the ranks of Hubbard’s serious Scientology characters, is the “Duke of CHUG” from Ron’s 1982 writings to Foster Tompkins, Foster then was the head of the Scientology computer setup then forming.

    Ron was riding Foster to set up a computer system like the computer system millions of years ago in a far more successful galactic setup, pre Marcab’s blundering ways.

    In that earlier galactic setup, which Ron talks about in a public release policy letter, called INCOMM (International Network Of Computer Organized Management).

    Ron said:

    “…I’ll let you in on a little-known fact. on the track, real computers (not Earth’s current home or business entertainment toys) have successfully administered whole planets…”

    “…The use of one [computer] become real, for blood, doing work and getting work done…which this planet has never seen (though seen on other planets)…”

    “…Real computers will be applied to Scientology management. They are being programmed based on OEC policy and HCOBs and will have something to operate on which is very sane, logical and pro-survival. The potentials of the whole track computer will be harnessed to the tremendously powerful administrative policy of Scientology to help get that policy IN and increase production.”

    – L. Ron Hubbard, INCOMM policy, 23 Nov 1985, green Management Series Volume 1, 1991,2001.
    page 352

    Ron came up in 1982 despatch traffic to Foster, with a “Duke of Chug” executive.

    The name implies as you suspect, that Chug was a bad guy.

    The computer system of long ago detected Chug, and had him replaced and executed.

    Two of Ron’s most famous ‘serious’ Scientology writings bad guys, were Xenu and Chug.

    I read ALL of the raw despatch traffic from Ron to Foster, and so has a dozen or so exited INCOMM staffers who remember the “Chug advices” as that traffic is called.

    Foster Tompkins, if he someday defects/leaves and gets his head on straight, will have a lot to say about Hubbard’s computer ideas.

    • RMycroft

      In the later years, Hubbard’s orders and policies were called “Advices” to provide some deniability that he was still running Scientology from hiding. Eventually things got so hot with the IRS, France and Canada interested in him that they took a whole lot of his Advices and turned them into paper pulp. (Shredding wasn’t good enough.)

      It’d be interesting to know what was destroyed. (Hey, maybe they have copies in one of those vaults?)

  • Observer

    Miscavige has been destroying Scientology for what, 27 years now? and has made such stunning progress, particularly in recent years, that this one was easy. Vance, however, gets my vote for most brilliant and hilarious ex-Scientologist deconstructionist (though he’s neck-and-neck with Jon Atack).

    Any time I read any of Hubbard’s drivel the first thing that jumps out is that suffocating, overweening arrogance. I have run into very few people who have been so self-important with so little reason. Yeah, he managed to dupe a few thousand people into following him down the path his own twisted psyche was taking, and made quite a bundle of money from it. Destroying lives and swindling others for personal gain (emotional, egotistic and financial), isn’t my idea of success.

  • scnethics

    Wow, Vance, that’s a tough first round draw. You can be proud you made it into the tournament, though!

  • Schockenawd

    After all this time, I find myself still unable to understand how anyone could go into a guarded room with a briefcase handcuffed to his wrist, and, after years of preparation for this moment, breathlessly extract the OT III scribblings, read what appears to be an outline for a cheesy sci-fi work ala Battlefield Earth and then sit back and think, “okay, good, I’m still on board.”

    • Are_sics

      It seems the sheer WTFness of it overwhelms the disappointedness, leaving their vulnerableness open to staff influincingness.

      But yeah, it’s hard to fathom.

      • FistOfXenu

        And again

        • 1subgenius

          That site is fun, no?

        • 1subgenius


  • Cymboli Starsong

    The contest is getting interesting. The Headley’s will likely beat Holmes but ESMB vs Gerry Armstrong is going to be really close. There has to be some way to get some action on this :p

  • BosonStark

    Although I’m against littering, it would be funny to air drop masses of that one page of the Xenu story from airplanes on the assembled at the opening of the Super Power building, if it ever opens that is.

    Then get video of them scurrying away as if scorched by the pieces of paper. Have a few plants in the audience start screaming as they pick one up. Tommy Davis would be like, “Our sacred scriptures! I’m melting!”

    • Ze Moo

      Can I be dressed as a tomato?

    • DeElizabethan

      Balls of fire that is a great idea! No problem with litter as OSA’d be all over picking them up.

      • Sidney18511

        Balls of fire? You mean Walls of fire!

  • Ze Moo

    Lron in his experiences with Parsons and demonology and other secret knowledge religions saw the benefits of keeping the secret knowledge, secret and billable. After the disaster with the first clear and then losing control of Dianutty to a dentist (karmic coincidence, I think not), Lron regrouped and took the extra step to Scientology. Lron knew about moving targets.

    After getting control of dianutty back and extending it to scientology and making clears again, Lron noticed that the cash flow wasn’t what it could be. Thus came the ‘research’ that became Xenu and ultimately, OT 8. If you want the cash flow to continue, you have to keep moving the target back. OT 3 and the alien brain cootie exorcisms are constructed so that the clam can never get rid of all of the brain cooties. That is why the promised super powers never materialize. The clam is supposed to keep paying for that patch of Blue Sky that they can never reach.

  • LongNeckGoose

    For those who may be interested, here is a link to the first Marvel Comics appearance of Zemu in 1962:

  • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

    Because Scientology provides effective solutions, we are the subject of attack by Psychiatry and the agents of Psychiatry, particularly and especially “sleeper agents”, i.e.those who were sent in by Psychiatry to infiltrate the Church by posing as ardent Scientologists and who appeared to serve the Church for decades but were actually putting sabotage on our lines.

    Furthermore, inasmuch as all of Scientology’s efforts culminate in addressing the catastrophe that devastated this sector of the galaxy 75,000,000 years ago, it is evident that Psychiatry is connected to the person(s) responsible for perpetrating the catastrophe.

    It becomes apparent therefore that the Agents of Catastrophe in their various guises as reformers, independents, critics. but most notably as journalists, are doing everything possible to harm the Church of Scientology by mocking the specific and known details of catastrophe of 75,000,000 years ago.

    We in RTC are handling matters and will win this cosmic battle being played out here on Earth. But to continue to do so, we need your help. Please make a phenomenal and heroic commitment to the IAS today of $750,000, this by wire transfer if possible. As a token of our appreciation for your gift, we will send you an IAS nylon windbreaker that features an attractive monogrammed logo.

    Thank you.

    P.S. Don’t miss the San Fernando Valley Ideal Org bowling tournament this evening. It will be held at the Stardust Lanes bowling alley and begins at 9:00 PM. You will not be regged at this event.

    • As a token of our appreciation for your gift, we will send you an IAS nylon windbreaker that features an attractive monogrammed logo.

      This is where you lost me. The Co$ never gives anything to its victims.

      • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

        That is most certainly not true. New OTVIII Richie Acunto donated ten million dollars to the IAS and so we gave him this astonishing trophy:

        • 1subgenius

          And if you can’t donate $10 million, you still get one of those cool “I donated $_______, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt” T-shirts.
          Those are so cool.

        • Chocolate Velvet

          “Astonishing” is the right word. Yow. I want one, but I don’t have 10 million dollars handy. What can you in the RTC offer me?

        • Sidney18511

          If you could send me a DM bobble head doll, I will run, not walk to get tht money transfer out pronto!

        • DeElizabethan

          The ball isn’t bad, but ugh the rest is the tackiest piece evah.

        • RMycroft

          Didn’t Wang the Impotent use one of those to attack the Earth?

        • Johan

          According to his comment, he seems happy to get a trashy trophy in return for $10 million. Can I have his phone number? Never mind somebody who is presumably smart enough to make in excess of $10m isn’t smart enough to hang on to it – he’s probably bankrupt already. The stuff you learn in this rabbit hole is astounding!

    • grundoon

      OTVIIIisGrrr8!, you’re getting frighteningly good at this.

  • coonellie

    Okay, totally off topic, although sort of relevant.

    I realized that the old expression I used to hear regarding an easy mark, “I know a bridge for sale…,” could easily be adapted for the clams. Just sayin’. Could be I’m not firing on all cylinders, but it made me laugh.

    • Trustmeonthis

      Around here, it’s usually known as the Bridge to Total Bankruptcy!
      (Wish I’d come up with that one…)

  • SP ‘Onage

    JON: Only a squirrel (Scientology’s word for a heretic) would think that OT III is metaphorical. Nothing in Scientology is metaphorical and Hubbard makes that very clear in his policy “Keeping Scientology Working.”

    I thought that ^^^ when Kirsty Ally, Anne Archer, Leah Remini and Juliet Lewis denied the story of Xenu while being interviewed by John Sweeney, for BBC’s Panorama. It made me sick watching them ridicule and laugh at him with those big “pie faces.” Who’s the liar now, Biotches!

    If you are new to this blog you can watch their “pie face” reactions at the 20:53 mark in this youtube video.


    Plus, check out Tommy Davis denying Xenu. He interrupts, John Sweeny and says, “None of us know what you’re talking about, I don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s looney, it’s weird, it makes you look weird bringing it up.”

    Ha! John Sweeney, you da man!

  • Headline on Huffington Post seems appropriate for today :

    It is a Tale …told by an Idiot , Full of Sound and Fury , Signifying Nothing

  • Espiando

    One of the most fun times I had behind the mask was walking in front of the Chicago Org with a poster-size blow-up of that handwritten page above, with the word “Xenu” highlighted, and a tagline at the bottom saying “DENY IT NOW!” If I gave Dave and Synthia pneumonia, I apologize to them. Anyone else, no.

    As for today’s vote, sorry, Vance, you’re a great guy and a fun read, but Tony made you bring toenail clippers to a gun fight.

    • SP Wogsy


      • SP Wogsy

        • SP Wogsy


          • SP Wogsy

            …test again

  • Hm. I got an Avagram from Paquette for posting that image of Hubbard’s handwriting. Regarding the importance of Xenu, I believe it depends upon who your target audience is.

    If it’s Scientologists, forget it. Most of them will never taste the OT levels and haven’t “officially” heard about Xenu.

    However, if you’re targeting wogs, Xenu is a much better hook than forced abortions and abuse. People love weird, and Xenu delivers. When someone is interested enough to start reading, they’ll come across the abuses and fraud tales all by themselves, but Xenu brought them in the door.

    • Sherbet

      That sounds like an interesting story, xenubarb. Want to tell it?

    • 1subgenius

      Did you say Avagram?


      Once again, music from Enturbulator 009, who got his own Avagram, thus the song, and album.

    • Schockenawd

      I interacted with Ava Paquette 20+ years ago when, as I understood it, she was a young, frightened single mom who had fairly recently found her way into the Scientology web and wasn’t altogether convincing about having bought into it. She was a lawyer for them, I was a lawyer for CAN, and so, we clashed. But I still remember thinking that as young new attorneys trying to do right by our clients, we had things in common. And I recognized a spark of humanity in her that made me think she’d come to her senses in time. Guess not.

      • 1subgenius

        Cool story sis.
        You’ve got a book in you that I want to read.

        • Schockenawd

          From your lips to god’s ears. Xenu’s. Whomever.

          • 1subgenius


  • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

    We in RTC wish to make it perfectly clear that the OT materials are real. They are in fact so real and dangerous that they may only safely be addressed by IAS Patrons who are invited to do the OT levels after going Clear. To actually do the the OT Levels opens up a sweeping panoramic vista in which it all becomes so clear and real and true for you that life as a wog becomes a distant memory.

    The L’s are equally powerful and ineffable:

    • 1subgenius

      Ineffable is my favorite word.
      For real.

      • FistOfXenu

        Used to agree with you. then I realized you can eff anything. Just apply Standard Tech.

        • 1subgenius

          Yer right!

        • Can I even eff you?

          • FistOfXenu

            IF you’re a woman with beautiful eyes and IF you get my wife’s permission and IF you can apply Standard Tech to me, probably.

      • Sidney18511

        Conundrum is my fave.

        • 1subgenius

          I find your post to be contumelious.

    • sugarplumfairy

      I think you guys should think about doing a reall housewives of co$ show..

    • 1subgenius

      “The L’s are equally powerful and ineffable”

      Thus the need for so much “pow, whoosh, wow, shazam….paging Tom Cruise” to (attempt to) describe them.
      There are concepts so deep there are no words to describe them, and there are scams for which the only words to describe them come from the blue sky.

      • grundoon

        There are airheads so shallow there are no words to describe them.

  • “JON: Only a squirrel (Scientology’s word for a heretic)
    would think that OT III is metaphorical. Nothing in Scientology is
    metaphorical and Hubbard makes that very clear in his policy “Keeping
    Scientology Working.”

    AMEN! Thank you SO much, Jon, for clarifying this! I can’t tell you how many people try to say “OT 3 is just a metaphorical example”. As you said, “Nothing in Scientology is metaphorical!”

    Also—I LOVE that David Miscavige is “winning” as far as being THE merchant of Chaos. He has done more DAMAGE to the “church” of $cientology, and just the name Scientology than any other, imnsho. Great job,
    Tony O..and all here!! 🙂

  • Sandy

    This site keeps locking up on me tonight. Is it just me? I rebooted – no help.

    • SP ‘Onage

      Disqus Deja vu

    • Sidney18511

      I am an iPad user and this site crashes on me something terrible. When tony posted the legal response from COS concerning the Garcia case, I couldnt keep the page up. Also when the discus comments get into the hundreds I have the same problem. Anybody else dealing with this?

  • Mary_McConnell

    Thanks for this excellent article. I guess it’s official, that Marty is a squirrel, lol. May he one day join in at SPs ‘r’ Us on facebook

  • Tony Ortega

    The site is currently being moved to a more stable server. Your comments posted from here on out, until the move is complete, may be lost. It should be only a few hours.

    • Observer

      *hangs onto hat (wog hat, not Scientology hat)*

    • 1subgenius

      “Your comments may be lost.”

      Thank god.

    • Will our lost comments dream?

  • dwayners13

    I’m trying to understand how Zenu, DC8’s, volcanos, boxes, bombs & alien parasites can be a metaphor when talking about why humans require $1000/hr auditing. Those body thetans had to get on/in you somehow, why use a metaphor & not the real story of the cause. If this was a metaphor to explain things, than the real story must be REALLY messed up.

    • 0tessa

      If it was a metaphor, there would be no real story at all.
      Ortega is right, this is the only story Scientology has, a science-fiction story of Ronnie Hubbard. Nothing more.

      If you need a Galactic Overlord to sell your pseudo-therapy, it must be a very poor one indeed.

  • dbloch7986

    It is absolutely correct to assert that all of Scientology is meant to be taken literally. There is not a single metaphor in all of Scientology. Every word that Hubbard spewed from his face hole is meant to be followed literally. Every joke is meant to be laughed at.

    You cannot question any of it, and if you do you are not cross-referenced to outside material, rather you are led to another thing that he said that might explain or you are forced to clear words until you are mentally exhausted and you simply submit to acceptance.

    Even if you continue to refuse you are eventually sent to ethics, because if you can’t get it right then you must have hidden crimes.

    Scientology is all targeted to force people into submitting to Hubbard’s word.

    • Reminds me of the fanatical Muslims who assume that every word of Mohammud must be followed exactly and they would have us live like 6th century Arabs. This is not disparaging honest Muslims but comparing the extremity of the literal view of these cult members.

  • Sydjazz

    I want that xenu is my homeboy on a shirt 🙂

  • Super thanks to everyone for your support and kind words, whether you voted for me or not. I’m flattered beyond words that I was even invited (well, almost beyond words, evidently).

  • ithilien

    It reads like a very preliminary outline for a film. I’ve been pursuing hand writing analysis as a hobby and was interested to get a long sample of the Xenu story. Hubbard s handwriting shows an intense and idiocyncratic creativity, an extremely unconnected train of thought, marked signs of aggression and severe depression, extreme inconsistency, fanastsies of stabbing. I must say that Wrights comments about Hubbard’s OT III handwriting…decisive and directed, could not be more inaccurate. Look for the ” dagger ” signs, letters at are different with each execution, t-bars slanting way down to the right, multiple slash marks across the pages as the writing progresses ( As shown in a longer sample of e OTII materials than is presented here) and most interestingly, the ” dagger sign” which appears throughout ( look at the T in Teegeeack for an example. ) this was a person whose aggression could get he better of them, and his chosen weapon would have been sharp. interesting he told his wife he had chopped up his daughter into bits, and told Hana she was full of invisible swords. These were his fantasies.

    • “I’ve been pursuing handwriting analysis as a hobby…”

      Maybe you’re reading too much into this.

  • In my mid 20s [about 25 years ago] I found Dianetics in a bookstore and it was fascinating. I read the book several times. Talked to several people, most of them older than I was, about the book. I finally decided to go down to the local office, at the time it was near Henderson Blvd and Swann Ave. When I got there the woman was polite but seemingly uninterested even though there didn’t seem to be anyone else in the place. I took a series of tests and scored well according to the woman afterwards. I guess I could have been offended if I was the sensitive type because she clearly didn’t expect that I would score well. She had a huge smile on her face and encouraged me to take the next step. Everyone can guess what the next step was right? Money. I think it was one or two hundred dollars or so. After another hour of her trying to convince me to join I finally got out of her hard sell and didn’t go back. However, for the next 15 to 20 years I got mail from them. Over that time I moved half a dozen times but they always found me. At some point the mailings stopped. I wish I could remember where I was when I realized they weren’t mailing me anymore. Anyway I’m glad I didn’t go any further than I did. I was young and impressionable and could have been one of their drones by now. Kinda like the blacks in the Democratic Party are today. Close call.

  • Boomer12k

    So, blow that “Phobia Charge”…..excuse me….”Implanted Phobia Charge”….