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Scientology Interviews John Travolta: Oddly, Massage Therapy Not Discussed

Boy, could actor John Travolta use some good publicity about now.

Scientology’s Celebrity magazine obliges with a particularly friendly look at the Pulp Fiction star in a new issue our tipsters passed along to us.

The magazine reviews Travolta’s film-making career, calling him an “icon of the silver screen,” and in a six-page piece manages to avoid anything remotely redolent of rubdowns going terribly awry, or other revelations that have been the stuff of lawsuits, news stories, and endless Internet sniggering.

Celebrity, in fact, managed to come up with just about the safest question possible to put to Scientology’s troubled icon. Asked several different ways, the story’s unnamed author tries to pin down Travolta and get out of him just which of L. Ron Hubbard’s many books is his absolute favorite.

The suspense, we know, must be killing you right about now.

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“The truth is, I can’t pick a favorite LRH book,” Travolta responds, taking a brave stand in the face of such a hard-hitting question.

JT goes on to deliver insights about several of Scientology’s essential texts.

On The Way to Happiness

“If a person looks at The Way to Happiness, they will find out that dressing well, eating well and getting good rest makes a difference to others!”

On Scientology: A New Slant on Life

“The Two Rules for Happy Living, ‘1. Be able to experience anything. 2. Cause only those things which others are able to experience easily.’ That data alone could change your life. What if you were able to enlighten people with just that piece of information?”

On Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health

“Once you understand the erasure process of an engram and you experience the relief that comes about by confronting the painful incident and not withdrawing from it, you’ll never be the same again.”

Travolta also relates a spell-binding tale of his powers of faith healing…

“I was in Shanghai recently at a work event and the Master of Ceremonies’ best friend had recently gotten into a car wreck. He had broken his ankle and was in constant pain. I asked him permission to do some Scientology assists and he said, ‘Okay, sure.’ People were standing around watching as I did them. You could actually see him confronting the pain and after a while he looked up at me and said, ‘I feel better.’ So I said, ‘Okay, end of assist.’ He had gotten noticeably better and was chomping at the bit for more. So I did another series of assists with him before I left. I gave his friend a booklet to show him how to do them and they both promised to continue until he was better. That’s my version of helping someone on the street.”

And finally, he is somehow convinced to endorse the magic of Scientology itself…

“Scientology performs miracles every day and it’s so authentic, it’s so real, that sometimes it’s too incredible for people to believe. But when they see the results, they know it’s real.”

Scientology’s wizardry too incredible for some to believe? We can’t imagine where JT got that notion.

Anyway, Celebrity‘s Scientologist subscribers will no doubt be heartened to see their bruised film star provide such hearty endorsements of Hubbard’s bedrock teachings as he attempts yet another comeback.

And thanks again to our tipsters: the sheer amount of stuff coming our way these days is amazing!

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