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Scientology’s Drug Rehab Network Goes On the Offensive

Clark_CarrIf you’ve been following our coverage of Scientology even tangentially, you know that one of the big stories to emerge in the last year is the surprising meltdown occurring in the church’s drug rehab network, Narconon.

Four deaths since 2009 at Narconon Arrowhead, its flagship facility in Oklahoma, has resulted in multiple investigations and lawsuits. A devastating wrongful death lawsuit at its Georgia facility has produced criminal investigations of insurance and credit card fraud. And additional lawsuits and document leaks have revealed deceitful practices at centers in California, Michigan, and Florida.

Narconon’s controversies have garnered a lot of problematic publicity for Scientology, including a series of damaging segments at NBC’s Rock Center.

But now, Narconon is fighting back. With the powerful words of stand-up comic Clark Carr.

Friday, a video was posted to YouTube of Carr who, besides doing skit work with Laughworks, is the president of Narconon International. In the video, Carr follows Scientology protocol to a tee, giving us the definition of the word “recovery” before announcing that the church — er, rather, its front group — has decided to denude another forest for the purpose of producing yet another bit of propaganda, in this case a booklet that supposedly lays out the history of studies proving Narconon’s success…

 

 
No doubt the booklet will prove a smashing success.

However, when this approach was recently floated in another form — a press release Carr put out a few days ago which also touted these studies, and in particular one study performed in Connecticut in the 1970s — it got a reception Scientology may not have bargained for.

Under the triumphant headline, “Recent Release of ‘The Narconon Program — 40 Years of Evidence of Recovery’ Reveals Earlier Unfound Narconon Connecticut Study,” the press release does its best to push back against one of the biggest criticisms of Narconon — that its 70 percent and higher claims of success are completely bogus.

Narconon centers regularly advertise rates of 70 to 90 percent success, even though legitimate drug rehab centers only claim about 25 percent rates of success for graduates to keep clean.

In a recent story, we revealed that privately, Narconon’s own legal affairs director admitted that Naronon has no scientific basis for claiming such high rates of success.

In fact, tax documents filed by Narconon facilities show that less than half of the people they admit as patients even finish the program. According to the latest Form 990 on file for one of Narconon’s largest centers — Narconon Vista Bay in California — in 2011 the program took in 610 patients, but only 255 graduated. (And as we’ve seen recently in multiple lawsuits filed against Narconon centers, it’s not uncommon for a patient to be kicked out of the program after only a few days, but parents then can find it impossible to get refunds on the tens of thousands of dollars they paid up front.)

Despite that dubious track record, Narconon continues to claim sky-high success rates, but what are they based on?

According to Carr’s breathless new press release, Narconon International was thrilled to “rediscover” a key 1978 study compiled in Connecticut. The Narconon center there only had about 20 students at the time, and of those, only about half were examined, according to Carr’s press release…

“[Narconon] studied the results on 10 of them, primarily teenagers, and found they were doing pretty damn well. Kids are hard to help, as they don’t have drug-free lives prior to addiction to compare their drug abused behavior to.” The New London program was actively supported, reports a March 7, 1978 article from The News of Niantic, Connecticut, by senior and other volunteer groups, providing furniture, curtains, helping with a newsletter, etc.

So Scientology’s big comeback to all of the recent bad publicity is to tout a study that had been lost for thirty years, and which based its results on only ten teenagers.

And even that, it turns out, may be highly questionable.

“I was the Executive Director of Narconon Connecicut,” says Patty Moher, who lives in New London, where this study supposedly occurred. “I can attest these numbers were all fabricated.”

Moher left Scientology years ago and has become a vocal critic of the church. But while she was in Scientology, she ran its New London Narconon center. Recently, at the research forum “Reaching for the Tipping Point,” Moher explained the background of the Connectictut study.

“How [were they fabricated]? I made them all up. Personally. I knew the numbers were awful, I knew they wanted to show great results. Being a Scientologist I thought, ‘Oh well, greatest good and all that’ and so just pulled those numbers right out of my ass. Consider this my confession. I personally fudged all the numbers because I knew it’s what they wanted. There was no study. I just made them up,” she said.

We asked her to elaborate on that, and she sent us this: “I remember that Narconon US had sent me a questionnaire on Narconon grads. The only thing I had to fill in were the numbers. How many of this, how many of that. No written report, no names, no case numbers, no documentation at all. Just fill in the numbers and send it back up line. It was pure Bullshit.”

At the end of his video, Carr posted his e-mail address and offered to answer questions about Narconon and its success rates. So we sent him a message that quotes Patty Moher’s confession. We’ll let you know if he gets back to us.

 
——————–

Posted by Tony Ortega on May 27, 2013 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

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  • Kevin Woolard

    A gifted orator – he’ll go far – I love the random collection of years on those charts – did they not bother to make up figures in the eighties and nineties?

    • RMycroft

      Those years will be rediscovered later, if needed.

  • Richard Grant

    Great reporting as always, Mr O.

    It seems kind of late in the game for Narconon to be launching any sort of PR “offensive” — even one not so lame as this. The star turn by a stand-up comic only adds another layer of irony, which seems always in good supply where the COS is involved.

    To me, this feels like another sign of underlying desperation.

  • Lucas Catton also went over the claims in Narconon International’s so-called “40 Years of Evidence of Recovery” report with a fine tooth comb. He did an excellent job pointing out all the deceptive statements and unraveling the false claims on his blog in response to the initial press release:

    Narconon Proves Their Own Claims are Fraudulent
    http://www.haveyoutoldall.com/narconon-proves-their-own-claims-fraudulent/

    • CoolHand

      Thanks. When you really look at all of these “studies” it shows the real tale. They completely expose themselves as to their methods used to calculate the success. This will wind up being used as evidence in the numerous court cases showing they have continually committed fraud by promoting those false success rates for decades.

      The fact that Clark Carr or Gary Smith or anyone else from Narconon wouldn’t speak to NBC on camera, but would put out garbage like this speaks volumes, IMHO.

  • hogarthian

    The discovery of ‘new’ information that has been ‘lost’ for 30 years and is now available in all its original, workable, fabulous glory? hmmnnnnn, well doesn’t that ring a very loud bell?

    In light of this affirmational discovery – which not only vindicates them completely but also means that they had, all this time, not even known themselves just how fabulous the programme actually really IS… they will now open more BarfAnon centres and double their prices.

    p.s. I think I just made up ‘affirmational’… but it sounds American, so I think I may get away with it. 😉

    edit: I’ve been in Tallinn for a week. It was nice. But I missed you (whoever you are?)…. awwwwwww

    • BuryTheNuts2

      I was wondering where the hell you were.
      Was Tallinn beautiful? Or did you get to explore?

      • hogarthian

        oh Bury, it was gorgeous! It’s a medieval walled city, all ancient and beautiful, and Estonians look very scandinavian (which is always nice). Although, I spent one half of the week in prison, the other half of the week at the Ministry of Justice, and the entirety of the week half pissed, so I can’t be absolutely sure.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          Sounds like my kinda trip!

    • John P.

      When you were in Tallinn, did you get to see traditional Estonian culture like this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LPmxgFkD94

      • hogarthian

        Lol! Sadly not, although I DID see this old Soviet era prison. Spooky eh?

        • John P.

          Looks like the RPF at Pac Base.

          • hogarthian

            That’s what I thought…. except just a little roomier.

  • John P.

    Darn. We in Global Capitalism HQ are bitterly disappointed. We love using the battery of analytical tools at our disposal to find small weaknesses in clinical studies presented by some biotech startup that show some new cancer drug is effective and then writing up our mathematical handiwork with tons of righteous indignation. So I was looking forward to doing the same with this suddenly-rediscovered Narconon “study.” But to find out that, to your readership’s complete and utter astonishment, that the numbers were 100% pure and simple utter fabrications from the ground up without even a shred of truth renders my formidable mathematical toolkit impotent. Darn!

    Seriously, Patty, thank you for coming forward and pointing out the basis for this latest attempt to try to legitimize the indefensible!

    • richelieu jr

      But even if they were 100% legit, and you’ll correct me on this if I’m wrong, JP, but hand-picking half of a (small) sample, even if they were 100% drug free (after how long?) it would still only be a 50% success rate, at best!

      If you allow me to eliminate half the sample population, I can empirically prove than women don’t exist. Or that they are the sole and unique sex on the planet. Or anything in between.

      • Change samples in the middle of the study and you can prove that everyone is transgendered.

    • Truthiwant

      I might be wrong here but if you look at the various case studies done by Narconon

      http://www.narconon.org/about-narconon/40-years-evidence-recovery.html

      and in particular the ones done in 1972 and 1975 (just scroll down to the bottom of the page)

      does it not look like they are trying to show that they are publishing the original document of the period?To me there is something very fishy about the way it is written and it looks like it was done on a modern pc with “old typewriter font”.

    • Anon Nom Nom

      Not only does he toss out some shit statistics, but he begins his video with 90 seconds of incredibly bizarre and awkward “word clearing.” What were they thinking?!

      • They’re thinking that the rest of the world is actually impressed by LRH-style “tech”. He is incapable of deceiving people because he does not understand anyone outside of his bubble well enough to talk to them.

        • Poison Ivy

          Yes, because word clearing is an accepted sign of superiority to us wogs, who toil our whole lives in a murky sea of misunderstood words.

      • FistOfXenu

        He was following that advice from yesterday’s posters about how to do go PR. It’s worth another read to compare it with what he did.

        • DodoTheLaser

          Strategic product placement/positioning – by reading definition of recovery from samhsa.gov That should make it sound more legit. Not so fast.

          • FistOfXenu

            I was thinking of that thing about Elements of Good PR. You know, the list of 4 things?
            1. Doing good work
            2. Communicating your good work to the right people
            3. Communicate in a way that can easily be agreed upon as something your public wants
            4. Have the communication be believable and acceptable

            I especially like the part in 3. “If you don’t know exactly what the public needs and wants, you may wind up saying something that doesn’t mean anything to them”

            Yup. Like 90 sec of word clearing.

            • DodoTheLaser

              Yeah, I see your point now. Thank you.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Yeah, that kind of sucked all the fun out of the deconstruction, didn’t it?

    • Racnad

      John, if you watch the video he seems to reference other studies conducted by non-Scientology parties that show success rates greater than 50%. (One wonders why, if these studies actually exist and have these findings, why Narconon hasn’t cited them before). I look forward to you applying the same scrutiny to Carr’s studies when the document flashed on the screen is released.

      • FistOfXenu

        Because they haven’t finished forging them yet? Or maybe they haven’t found a reputable doctor they can bully or blackmail into signing his name to them?

    • California

      John, in a previous thread, I posted the SF Weekly article on the CCHR protest last Saturday and the second protest by another group last Sunday… you had been inquiring if there was a mixing of the groups…. NOPE, there was no mixing. I hope you got to read the article.

    • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

      A question for the GC HQ: when analyzing/shredding clinical studies, how much consideration is paid to the existence (or non-existence) of peer review on the study results? In other words, is it more easier/fun shredding one or two isolated voices vs. an entire body of fully accredited experts recognized for their knowledge, professional and ethics (the wog definition of such)?

      If one felt inclined to look up the author of the (now discredited Connecticut study) one would find that at the time he held a Masters in Social Work (MSW) and would ultimately be associated with an interesting “mental health” solution of his own (www.aboutrelationshipsnow.com/about.html).

      In reading his study, one would also question how strongly he felt about the results. While positive, it is acknowledged that a deeper study is needed (useful).

      • John P.

        A study in a peer-reviewed journal is usually more thoroughly evaluated than a preliminary study released at a meeting like the big ASCO conference. However, the conference presentations are usually more important from an investment point of view because they can make or break our investments in certain early-stage biotech companies — negative experience on a Phase II trial can render a company’s stock worthless. But we know several people who are high up in the world of journal publishing and in scientific integrity committees, and we have heard stories about malfeasance by people desperate to get published to get tenure that would curl your hair. While the bulk of scientific publishing is honest and valid, the stuff we care about is the real high-stakes poker game of drug discovery and even one slanted study is one too many.

        So we are paranoid and eternally vigilant. And that does not extend solely to clinical studies. We don’t trust company managements, we don’t trust auditors to uncover bad behavior, and so on and so forth. That is why we need jets, yachts, waterfront estates, supermodels, and all that other stuff: so we don’t have heart attacks or become more paranoid than Hubbard in his later years.

      • grundoon

        Every academic publication ends with a plea for further research.

  • Victoria Pandora

    I am confused. In 1978 I was wearing a rubber suit, running six miles a day TRYING to sweat in January, eating massive doses of vitamins, and starving. It was called the sweat programme, and I was one of the guinea pigs. Seriously, did Narconon exist in 1978??

    • FLUNK_101

      I believe it did. Where were you on lines?

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Yes, New Life (Narconon) opened in LA in 1972.
      I think, that was the first public Narconon.
      Corrections welcome from those in the know!!!

    • grundoon

      The sweat program appears to have been introduced to the public in 1978 (HCO BULLETIN OF 6 FEBRUARY 1978, “LSD AND THE SWEAT PROGRAM”, which on 4 December 1979 was revised and retitled “THE PURIFICATION RUNDOWN REPLACES THE SWEAT PROGRAM”). The Sweat Program was part of the New Era Dianetic Drug Rundown, which was released at about that time in a revision of HCO BULLETIN OF 15 JULY 1971, “DRUG HANDLING.”

      Earlier Scientology anti-drug measures had consisted mainly of auditing and vitamin supplements. And from time to time L. Ron Hubbard had published some of his research findings. A sample:

      Marijuana may be easily identified. It has a strong characteristic odour which is similar to fresh hay or wet, freshly cut grass. Smoking some tea leaves, rolled up into a cigarette will give you a good stable datum for identifying marijuana odour. … Marijuana is basically a very mild drug which creates euphoria. Also it has the unpleasant consequence of distorting the senses of the user to the point that people on “trips” have been known to open the door of a car going 80 mph and step out “since they could walk faster”. (HCO BULLETIN OF 29 AUGUST 1968, “DRUG DATA”)

  • Skydog

    It is about time these squirrels started applying LRH tech and started attacking. It was getting pretty boring watching them just writing checks every time someone files a lawsuit. Mr. Carr is quite the dynamo, I am surprised they haven’t paraded this ass clown before.

  • FLUNK_101

    Unbelievable. “Hello, I’m Clark Carr. And I’m the PRESIDENT of Narconon International.” As if that, by itself, proves anything. This guy is hilarious, especially when he doesn’t mean to be. The way he starts out, it’s almost like the beginning of an SNL skit. A nine year old would’ve been more convincing. Combined with Patty Moher’s disclosure, this guy looks like a complete fool.
    He ends with, “Thank you for your attention.” Yeah, right. He might as well have said, “Thank you for your awareness.”
    I hope he goes to jail for obstruction of justice.

    • Victoria Pandora

      Thats what I was thinking… this is the funniest thing I have seen him do.

    • Observer

      I like how they didn’t even bother to write the spiel on cue cards so he wouldn’t have to keep reading off his paper like a 10th grader giving a speech in class.

      • DodoTheLaser

        Yeah! Jim Meskimen wouldn’t have to do that.

        Vote for Jim to be the next Prez of NarCONon!

    • FistOfXenu

      Yup. I kept waiting for his punchline. then I realized the punchline is Carr. And the joke isn’t funny.

    • DodoTheLaser

      Haha! Too bad COB didn’t make Jim Meskimen President of Narconon.

      I would piss my pants laughing watching that clown trying to CONvince everyone how
      NarCONon is all legit. In all his celeb voices, preferably starting with Robert De Niro’s voice.

  • richelieu jr

    Can you imagine how many hundreds of thousands of documents (99% fudged– pulled right from the same orifice as Ms Moher’s statistics) they had to pour through over the last few months and this is all they could come up with?

    Tony is right, this Clark Carr IS a comedian!

    (and speaking of comedians– he should take the Last Carr to Clarksville! ) — I’ll be here all week! Try the veal! It’s the best in town!)

  • EnthralledObserver

    This video of Carr speaks for itself… you don’t need me to stop laughing and make a serious and deriding comment about it.

  • Missionary Kid

    This was a peer-reviewed study, done by an independent researcher and published in a scientific journal.

    The peers would be mafia, Bernie Madoff, and Charles Manson. The independent researcher was LRH himself, and the scientific journal was The News of Niantic, Connecticut. The follow-up report was on Saturday Night Live. Didn’t you all see it?

    I say, it was a very well done piece of research.

  • Watergate

    Patty Moher, thank you for speaking the truth. Sunshine disinfects and, in this case, spotlights ALL of Narconon’s lies.

  • elar aitch

    Again, for the benefit of the whales?

  • Still_On_Your_Side

    This guy is a complete idiot. He releases a video that uses 40 year old fraudulent statistics because he believes it will counter a wave of lawsuits that charge Narconon with using fraudulent statistics to hook its victims? I bet Narconon is officially cut lose by Miscavige -soon. The fraud investigation will at best cost Narconon millions of dollars in fines, and retun of proceeds. In all likelihood, people will also go to jail. Then there are the numerous lawsuits… I bet Miscavige probably thinks if he cuts them off now, he won’t go down with them. Who knows, he may have already abandoned them. It’s clear that Carr had no legal guidance.

    What a mess Narconon is in. Plaintiffs, credit card companies, and health insurance companies will demand millions of dollars in damages and/or the return of illegally obtained money. Questions will be asked about where Narconon’s money has gone. The money trail to Miscavige will be investigated. Unlike the anonymous check to the nuns that was donated by Whoopi Goldberg’s character in Jumpin Jack Flash, the funds to Miscavige were not anonymously donated. Instead, Miscavige demanded money from Narconon, daily, and there is no way Narconon can justify the amounts of money sent. Millions of dollars of fraudulently obtained funds were sent by Narconon to the church, which then “laundered” that money, probably by claiming it was donations and license fees. Miscavige has to know he and the church are in deep trouble, even if Carr is blissfully, and stupidly, unaware.

    • hogarthian

      Oh god… that’s perfect!

    • Still_On_Your_Side

      Let me add, Carr’s nervous voice in the video leads me to believe he is scared, probably of Miscavige and the RPF, but not of the tidal wave heading his way. The use of easily refuted studies, and the use of government rules and definitions out of contest, show that he believes every listener will accept that reality and truth is what he says it is. The stupidity and childishness of this coming from the “president” of Narconon has my head spinning. His presentation is something out of Monty Python, and it is eerily similar to a ten year old explaining to his parents that the graffiti on the garage wall was made by the garbage collectors when they came to get the trash cans.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        When I see something this pathetic, I cannot help but feel a twinge of empathy for the poor asshat (Clark in this case) who has to put this crap out there.
        Just ridiculous at this point.

    • Sara Carlson

      Clark is not blissfully unaware or stupid. Clark is scared shitless of threats he’s recieved from David Miscavige, directly or indirectly. As long as Clark still believes his life and his eternity are dependant on the C of S, he will do as his is told — or else. Anyone who knows Clark, as I do, can see fear written all over him in this video. He is doing as he is told, but clearly doesn’t fully buy it. I just hope Clark will open his eyes, CONFRONT the truth and stop supporting this out-tech, out-ethics organization. Come on, Clark. You know better. And, remember, you have friends out here.

      • Still_On_Your_Side

        Thanks for the info. If he never goes on the Internet, or reads/watches the news, he won’t wake up until his office is raided by law enforcement or he is arrested. He is the president of Narconon and the buck stops with him, not Miscavige, according to the law. The fraud is on him, the deaths are on him. I know that Miscavige is responsible, and that Carr lost his free will some time ago, but the law doesn’t buy it, nor does it care. He needs to wake up soon, as does anyone else in there that cares about his/her safety and their families’ future. Miscavige has engineered it so others will take the fall. Unless, that is, someone blows the whistle on him before he publicly blames others, which I have no doubt he will do.

      • Exterrier

        Yes. The first thing I noticed was the fear. And he is a performer, so it is not at all about being on camera. This was very unpleasant to watch. I was squirming with him.

  • media_lush

    Scientology; all you need to know is it’s pulled out of an ass.

    • FistOfXenu

      I like it!

      • Patty Moher

        LOL! Love it!

        • FistOfXenu

          Thanks! I like imagining that I’m driving past a cult building and I see this sign.

    • Missionary Kid

      Sciontology, an oxymoron.

  • Adrien Marcel Drea

    bullshit is bullshit
    they can try whatever they want they are totaly incompetent and by the wauy they behave hazardous and dangerous …
    and it cost a lot of money …..for nothing

  • Sunny Sands

    All Narconon self-reported statistics are above reproach, and Mary Reiser didn’t tell a Florida drug court that NN Georgia was certified as a residential treatment center either.
    I have doubts about any organization that compiles and self-reports their own statistics for anything other than in-house purposes.

  • FLUNK_101

    Hubbard told some tall tall tales. But, once you become a Scientologist, it I think it becomes a story you tell yourself. It takes on a life of its own, and your mind is the host.
    Similarly, I think this blog is getting to me. I guess I’m susceptible! Last night, I dreamed there was a “Bunker Ball” at one of the clubs in NY. It was awesome. The bunker women were Out. Of. This. World. They were the nicest people you could ever hope to meet, in addition to being intelligent, very beautiful, and dressed to the nines.
    But, there was some foul play … when I went to garage to get my car, someone had positioned a couple of junk cars in the exit, making it impossible to leave without getting into an accident. And the garage attendant was watching, with a cop on standby to make arrests. So I slowly (so slowly!) pushed the junk cars out of the way with my car, but I left a dent in one of the junks. I was about to get arrested by the cop. I thought it was unfair. It seemed unresolvable in my mind, until I decided that this must be a dream! So I got out and beat up the cop. As I drove away, I thought , “I gotta tell Captain Howdy about this!”

    • Still_On_Your_Side

      As one of the female “Bunkerites,” I have a duty to tell you that we all are in reality brilliant and gorgeous. How did you know?

      • FLUNK_101

        I’ve always thought that a woman can be attractive in so many different ways.
        The women on this blog are all so different … and beautiful!

        • Poison Ivy

          Hmmmm…your ten cent dream interpretation means the junk cars blocking the exit are your still unresolved feelings about/vestiges of belief in Scientology/LRH. Somehow you feel you will be “in trouble” if you leave completely. The cop is that super-ego/guilt watching over you. You are slowly pushing those things out of the way, but still with some trepidation. But the “awake” part of you knows what’s real and what’s not, so you are free to beat up the cop.
          And Captain Howdy signifies….Captain Howdy! 🙂

          • FLUNK_101

            Thank you Poison Ivy!!!!
            I had a little bit different take on it. I thought pushing the junk cars out of the way had to do with asserting my point of view, but without getting into an argument.
            But it’s nice to hear your interpretation … it reminds me of that song, “You stepped out of a dream …”

            • Poison Ivy

              Sometimes dreams, like great poetry, literature or art, can have more than one interpretation.

            • FLUNK_101

              In order to understand someone’s dream, I think you have to know the “affect,” or the emotional feelings of the person who had the dream.
              You might have a dream about a horse. But what are your feelings toward that horse? Probably the exact same feelings you have towards something happening in your life, and that’s what the horse represents.
              Believe me, I resolved any “issues” I had with Scientology decades ago. Yet, when I speak honestly about my experiences, some people on this blog think I’m still “in.” That is their mis-perception, not only of me, but of Scientology.
              Last Saturday night, I dreamed that Peter King was a Scientologist, thinking he was a “pig.” Why? What do I feel that way about in real life?
              Well, just the day before, I posted a comment that mentioned how getting audited elevated my mood. What was I feeling when I made that post? I was feeling that there was no point in saying certain things on this blog. There are people on this blog who are as fanatic (and brainwashed) as anti-Scientologists, just as Scientologists are about being pro-Scientology. They will accuse me of still being “in,” just for saying that auditing elevated my mood, even though I’m making any supernatural claims. If they are that biased and close-minded, what’s then point of me telling my story? When I posted that comment, I remember asking myself, “Am I being selfish by reiterating the truth about my experiences? Even when I know it’s only going to start an argument?” I don’t want to be perceived as a “selfish pig” … I don’t want to be Peter King!!!
              So, if I ever stop posting here, at least now you’ll know why. I don’t need the aggravation. There are some very intelligent people on this blog, and some not so intelligent. (Thank Goodness for BTN and John P!)

            • Missionary Kid

              In studies done on the results of various therapies, as I remember it, simply that a patient was having attention paid to them was often enough to leave them with a positive feeling. That’s why going to the witch doctor or a faith healer works for some people. It is the human interaction that they really need.

              For a person in isolation or in crisis, holding on to the cans and being asked questions about what is going on with oneself can be very therapeutic. The problem is, many others have seen confessions later used against them or they’ve realized that auditing was also a means of sucking one into the cult, so any mention of using the E-meter brings out VERY negative feelings. Their experiences may well differ substantially from yours.

              Auditing is a very subjective experience, and the results also depend heavily on the auditor and what their goals are.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              No, Flunk, No!

              I just bought an Antonio Damasio book (Self Comes To Mind) at Barnes and Nobel! If you pull a disappearing act….who the hell am I going to argue about THAT kinda shit with?
              And did you say horse?…..(they are like shiny objects to me)….thanks for the excuse!

          • Observer

            Where *is* Captain Howdy?

            • DodoTheLaser

              He’s watching, he’s a ceiling cat.

            • Andrew Robertson

              Captain Howdy has temporally dropped his keyboard to continue his researches in other parts of Boston.

              Pat Broeker pp. Andrew

          • sugarplumfairy

            Excellent interpretation, Dr. Ivy.. I concur.. May I add that perhaps the “I can’t wait to tell Captain Howdy about this” is representative of Flunk’s anxiety about convincing participants of this blog that he’s really left Scientology..

            Flunk, who cares who believes you left co$.. The only one who matters is you..

    • BuryTheNuts2

      What about the bunker men at the ball? What were they wearing?
      Wasn’t Howdy there?
      Did the cop look like David Miscavige?
      Was SPF wearing a nurses cap and boxing gloves with her gown?

      • FLUNK_101

        I specifically remember two women, you and somebody else. The only men I can remember were in the garage, but once I got on the road, I ran into you again. Then I dreamed I woke up and posted about it … then I woke up for real.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          As long as I was wearing something absolutely fabulous and you ran into me again (but not over me), then its all good!

        • Poison Ivy

          Which BuryTheNuts Avatar was present?

          • FLUNK_101

            BTN was a fashion plate! So was her “friend.”

            • BuryTheNuts2

              I am psychic!
              Two tall blondes (me and my “friend”)?
              Amiright?

            • FLUNK_101

              I won’t comment on hair color … I don’t think that’s significant.
              But, as usual, I think you’ve got the right idea!

            • FLUNK_101

              .

      • sugarplumfairy

        Lol.. I don’t need no stinking boxing gloves! Not when I’m wearing my Jimmy Choo Cosmic suede pumps.. I’d only where my best to the Bunker Ball and those suckers are deadly weapons..

    • monkeyknickers

      I’m getting startled by random scientologeeze words are passing my lips in general conversation these days. That can’t be good. 🙂

      • BuryTheNuts2

        It happens! But eventually it will pass and you will learn how to control it in front of the wog’s.
        Now, with that said can you please just shoot me!!!

      • FLUNK_101

        Thank you for telling me that … (1000-yard stare) … I think I really got that.

      • Observer

        I have had to choke back “enturbulate” in normal conversation more than once!

        • Bella Legosi

          I have begun using it in convo. The icing on the cake is when someone looks at me puzzeled and then I get to tell them it is actually a Hubbard-made-up word that denotes anger! It also gives me a chance to compaire him to Dr.Suess.

          • Missionary Kid

            But Dr. Suess on the loose is much more entertaining and educational.

        • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

          I’m waiting to use that word the next time I’m approached by someone disseminating.

          “I don’t mean to enturbulate you but would like to get some accurate data regarding …”

      • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

        Tell me about it …

        When I yelled at Xenu IX for being out-ethics for enturbulating me with entheta and he should go to his room and right out his crimes he just looked at me like I was some incarnation of purest evil.

        Mrs. Xenu threatened to install software tools on my computer terminal to prevent me from getting here.

        • monkeyknickers

          What a flap!

  • I am not tried in any medical science but I do have some years at the university under my belt, and this I my spontaneous reaction: How can a 40 year meta study of ALL Narcanon data be that thin?

    • Truthiwant

      The answer is very simple.
      They only had 4 hours to invent and write the whole 40 year history up and get it published.

      • Haha, yeah seems like it, and they didn’t have any scientist to space, just some PowerPoint enthusiasts.

  • AnonymousSP

    Hey Kirstie! Whaddya think of your great Narconon now? Kirstie? Kirstie?

    • Poison Ivy

      Crickets.

    • California

      And John, Kelly, Tom, Will, Jada, the Elfman’s, etc. etc. There is complete quiet on the celebrity front right now…….

      • Missionary Kid

        B, b, b, but, I’m waiting for their contributions from Golden Arrow in the Foot Productions!

      • Observer

        Interesting, isn’t it? Not only are they not attacking, they’re not even defending. I wonder if Tom Cruise has ruthlessly put ethics in on all of them yet.

        • FistOfXenu

          Like he’s ruthlessly putting ethics in on himself for not attacking or defending?

          • Observer

            Precisely.

  • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

    I miss Heber, yelling and screaming. What is the cult coming to? Maybe Hebe’ll share a bunk bed with this guy in the hole.

    • BosonStark

      Heber-style went out with video on the Internet. Any appearances now by cult space cadets will be calm and collected, while they build walls of trees around the remaining membership.

      The Orgs are multiplying and forming Org Alliances which will soon secure the perimeters of every major city where it will be the law to get auditing, security checking, and study Dianutty. There will be a bust of L. Ron Hubbard rising 100 feet in the air on every block and everyone will wear ascots and chain-smoke Kools.

      • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

        I laugh so hard when I read some of these…

      • DodoTheLaser

        Holy fucking shit. Stop it. Bad Starky.
        (Thank you, we now know what Cleared Planet is like.)

  • Mary_McConnell

    Haha! Besides trying to do damage control with the public, Narconon also compiled that ‘report’ as part of their defense for when they have to appeal their license not being renewed once the new law in OK comes info effect.

    BTW, Lucas Catton took some time to read through the document Narconon International put together and broke it down here in this excellent and important article:

    Narconon Proves Their Own Claims are Fraudulent

    {..]One of the multiple fraudulent activities of the Narconon program, and possibly the most deceptive, is the promotion of it’s so-called success rate.

    I wrote about this success rate in my book and have spoken about it to various media outlets as well. However, despite statements and evidence provided by me and countless others, Narconon International President Clark Carr repeatedly claims that three out of four Narconon graduates remain stably drug-free.

    Then, in an attempt to “prove” their success, Narconon International compiled a document called “40 Years of Evidence of Recovery”. I took some time to examine this document in more detail.[..]
    http://www.haveyoutoldall.com/narconon-proves-their-own-claims-fraudulent/

    • aquaclara

      Utterly amazing work. It’s all coming together, Mary. All that hard work…the wall is coming down. You have tremendous patience and persistence and it’s working. Thank you!

    • HeatherGraceful

      Lol. If NN is planning to submit Patty’s “study” to support it’s licensing application then I look forward to reading Patty’s affidavit for the Oklahoma Health Department about where she got those stats from.

      • California

        I hope she submits her affidavit tomorrow, as soon as the offices open. And to every state insurance and substance abuse rehab facility agency (California, Florida, Georgia, Oklahoma, etc.) dealing with the criminal fraudulent mess. And to every attorney suing Narconon.

        Talk about the “greatest good for the greatest number!”

      • Observer

        For a “religion” that talks in terms of trillions of years, they sure are short-sighted.

  • monkeyknickers

    Clark Carr also found a really hot girlfriend, but she lives in Canada.

    • VickiStubing

      I bet she’s a supermodel, even!

      • Poison Ivy

        JohnP introduced them.

  • sugarplumfairy

    I’d say things must be pretty tough in narcononville when you have to use 40 year old stats..

    • BuryTheNuts2

      40 year old stats that were fabricated in the first place….

      That is taking desperate to entirely new heights.

      Straight up and vertical delusional.

      • FistOfXenu

        Like this

  • Haha Oh Wow. I just “read” the study. It’s only TEN pages long and there is no analysis just two graphs.

    The first graph “Do Narconon graduates function well in society?” is a wreck. It mixes and match sample groups differing in size, the amount of time that has passed since graduation (one of the groups where apparently intervened halfway through the class.) and several of the groups don’t have a control group.

    The second graph “Do Narconon graduates stay out of trouble?” is worse some how. What the different graph measure is very different (being crime free, staying out of state jail, decrease in misbehavior, reduction in offence and no infractions in jail are not the same thing) the groups are very small and all but two of the groups lack a control group.

    This feels to me like a PR-stund without any worth as a scientific study.

    • VickiStubing

      And this is a surprise? Thanks for reading it; I’ve done a few too many spit-takes on the computer screen thanks to CoB’s footbullets and the family is starting to complain.

      • Missionary Kid

        Please, when reading the Bunker, cover everything with plastic.
        Your family will appreciate it.

        • VickiStubing

          I already sit on a plastic-covered cushion cuz I’ve laughed too hard too often. You ladies know what I’m talking about ;D

          • Missionary Kid

            It sometimes happens to men, too.

      • Thanks you for the kind words, I figured that I had been lurking on this and the old blog over at The Village Voice for long enough and it was tome for me to contribute.

        There is a lot more wrong with this “report” from a purely formal academic point-of-view and I don’t for a second buy that this thing has been peer-reviewed.

        Also I sure that all that stats are made up but that’s another thing.

    • Poison Ivy

      None of these even means they are sober, however.

      • I think I missed a graph or two but I hope my post show that this “report” is deeply flawed, highly unscientific and NOT to be trusted.

        For example they use “n” to denote their sample (which is correct) size but they don’t show N, total population size.

        If you ask 10 people (n = 10) how they where going to vote in the 2012 US presidential election and they all say Romney that doesn’t mean that he will win in a landslide. Because the total population is 200 million ( N = 200 000 000) and your sample size can’t show a statistically significant result if it is that small.

        I don’t see them mentioning N anywhere in their “report”. A example of N would be the number of people in Berlin in 1976 that received drug rehabilitation and how many of them where drug free after X amount of time.

        • Missionary Kid

          Hey, don’t confuse us with that statistic shit. The graph says it’s all good, so it’s all good. NOT.

          Thanks for a well-ordered look at their figures, but since $cions are just as deficient in math skills as they are in grammar, it’s wasted on them.

          They probably have the same problems with math that their fearless leader did.

    • Sidney18511

      These sclions live in their own bubble world and because they are able to fool their own people with bogus graphs they figured the wogs would follow suit.

      • Fooling people with graphs and statistics sadly isn’t that hard. :/

        • Missionary Kid

          It’s even easier with $cions.

          • Yeah, I don’t think they get to use their critical-thinking skills much.

            • Missionary Kid

              The only critical thinking they really do is of people who haven’t drunk the Kool Aid. IMO, it’s groupthink.

    • Missionary Kid

      Read Luke Catton’s analysis (If you haven’t already, http://www.haveyoutoldall.com/narconon-proves-their-own-claims-fraudulent/

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      But the CoS is the Master of PR. I know this is true; I read it on the internet.

  • It takes a big person to admit they made a mistake or did something wrong. Kudos to Patty.

    Pretty sure if L Ron Hubbard were here today and was the slightest bit honest, he would say the exact same thing as Patty, “It was pure Bullshit!” That would certainly sum it up and give all those “seekers of truth” the answers they have been looking for. Not like his life and everything he did not already tell us that anyway.

    Here is what I find interesting – Scientology itself poses to take a huge hit on the whole Narconon flap. Multiple lawsuits in multiple states and even countries. They are clearly on the ropes. And when the chips are down and they face taking a huge blow, who do they send out? Clark Carr? Wow, just wow. When I was there, Clark Carr was barely acceptable to give Narconon lectures or run a Narconon Center. Now he is the one who is going to do damage control. They must be really be down to the dregs.

    This is what scientology does. You ask them about people dying in 2012 and they point to a unknown unspecific unscientific unstudy from 1978 done by someone who says it was all bullshit. It was such Bullshit that they did not even remember who did it!

    This guy is THE President for an international scam that takes money from people (and allegedly from insurance companies illegally) and tells them they get people off drugs. He is so super successful that he spends a good amount of his time moonlighting as a horrible comedian with a bunch of his friends that also participate in a sister scam to take money from people for a living and give them little to nothing in return. Nothing screams “legitimate” more than your rehab center president looking for side work to keep himself busy.

    If you have been lurking or watching from the sidelines, maybe do something decent and come forward and tell YOUR story. Who knows, maybe you could end up saving someones’ life by telling what you know. Maybe one less person will get sucked into the scientology vortex and end up getting their life ruined when all they were looking for was a helping hand.

    Scientology – something can be done about it!

    P.S. Patty – email me. I have someone that I think you may want to speak with.

    • Poison Ivy

      Great post Marc, and more amazing reporting, Tony. And thank God for people like Patty, who have the integrity and humility to come forward and admit what they did while in the cult. Patty, Luke, Eric, David Love (for Narconon) and all the other exes, including Marc & Claire & all the other exes who drop by here to add to the REAL “knowledge report” – every one of you is potentially saving a life.

      Thinking about all of you, and all the people the cult killed (both literally & metaphorically) – on Memorial Day.

      Just a comment on the lamest of lame “studies” ;
      “What is rehabilitation, if it’s not learning how to learn and then getting on and doing that, for real.”

      Learning how to learn, bullshit. There are plenty of brilliant addicts and alcoholics, many highly functional but causing misery & chaos in their own lives and the lives of their loved ones.

      Rehabilitation means learning how to accept and live life on life’s terms. Scientology is the antithesis of that. The absolute antithesis.

      Of course, throughout history, a switch to doctrinarian thinking has worked in putting the odd boozer/addict “on the wagon.” Often (but not always), those people become insufferable fanatics with dangerous black and white thinking, too. See the film “Pain and Gain” and Dwayne Johnson’s really excellent (somewhat comic) characterization of the “sober” super-Christian ex-con for a good satirical (but not so far-fetched) example of that.

      • aquaclara

        Great comment, PI. You speak for all of us with this one. Thanks!

      • The Dakini

        Here here PI!

    • “This guy is THE President” He’s not just a member of the Hair Club for Men, he’s the President!

    • Missionary Kid

      Your post is great, except for one thing. The only time that LRH was “the slightly bit honest” was when he was trying to set up another lie.

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      Marc, you of all people should know that “Recovery of Lost Tech” is essential to we in the Church of Scientology.

      The fact is that our Founder, the Church, and all our social betterment groups have created hundreds of billions of documentia, that, like dark matter in the universe, has still not been discovered.

      All of this undiscovered Tech forms a veritable cornucopia of data that can be discovered and trumpeted as needed to prove that Scientology works and works so flublessly that flublessnessesses have been eliminated and arbitraries removed thanks to the Golden Age of Tech.

      All of which is to say that Scientologists haven’t seen anything yet, for the Golden Age of Tech II is hurtling at them like fifty zillion gallons of Bob’s Big Boy bleu cheese salad dressing — and we mean the original bleu chesse dressing as is served at Bob’s Big Boy on Riverside Drive in Burbank, a place where we in RTC dropped by for dinner after visiting TC on a nearby lot.

      Hence, and by way of creating a better world today, we in RTC have vouchsafed both the secrets of the universe and Narconon success stories in endless subterranean vaults where, along with a certain forgotten wife, these things await an eventual discovery when the Church needs to flourish and prosper the most in the face of what would otherwise be crushing entheta from the vicious wog world that is bent on destroying the only way out of the vicious 75,000,000 year old trap!

      • John P.

        We in Global Capitalism HQ concur with you in RTC about the quality of the bleu cheese dressing at Bob’s Big Boy, either the Riverside Drive location or the (now gone) Colorado Blvd. store in Glendale. While we can now afford roquefort cheese to be flown in fresh from France and turned into dressing at tableside in a major five star restaurant, we still wax nostalgic for the days when dinner was a Big Boy and fries, a salad with bleu cheese dressing and a strawberry shake, delivered via carhop and eaten off a tray that clamps to the steering wheel.

        • Spackle Motion

          Riverside Dr Big Boy is gone??!?

          It used to be an urban myth at my high school that the best senior prank ever pulled was when some seniors dismantled the Big Boy at a local Big Boy restaurant and planted him right next to the big Virgin Mary statue on campus before dawn. Another version of that story had him up on his own make-shift cross.

          • Gus_Cox

            Riverside Drive location is still there, don’t worry! It’s the Colorado Bl. store in Glendale that’s gone.

        • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

          Yes, we in RTC can agree with GC HQ that the bleu cheese dressing at Bob’s Big Boy is wholesome and good and the 1978 Narconon study is also good data.

          On another note, we in RTC checked our records and have found that bitter defrocked apostate Patty Moher was never the ED Narconon in Connecticut but was rather a low level volunteer staff member who was let go for repeated violations of our strict filing policy whereby every document must be filed correctly so that it is never lost.

          The Church has been attacked by many bitter defrocked apostates who were all low ranking staffers with serious ethics problems and who all, to a person, engaged in repeated violations of our strict filing policy whereby every document must be filed correctly so that it is never lost.

          This is why COB RTC David Miscavige must do everything himself, including the vital task of constructing and installing air raid sirens on top on each Ideal Org, this to warn the millions of local Scientologists of an impending mass Marcab landing:

          http://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a563/OTVIIIisGrrr8/model2anim_zps2e4d76d5.gif

          • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

            I forgot to add: get off the cross, the wood is needed for an Ideal Org project.

            • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

              That would be a truly insulting remark were we members of the R6 implant religion known as Christianity.

              However, we are not and so, yes, we are quite content to stay up on our cross and pontificate to wogs like you who so desperately need Scientology’s guidance.

            • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

              Were I to intend a reference to the stauros upon which the Christian messiah died, I would have referenced it.

              Given your Source never met a concept he couldn’t re-appropriate to his own end, I of course refer to the D8 implant: the 8-point Dynamic Cross of Scientology. Only this cross features the absurdly ostentatious, overly ornamental, excess material to construct an entire Ideal Org.

              BTW … I scoped out the latest updates to the titanium Scripture vault. You need to get into comm with those yahoos. I think I may have found your “dark matter”.

          • Douglas D. Douglas

            But where is the Spit-take valve? And the Hot Air generator?

            • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

              Those features will be on the new Mark 8 air raid siren.

            • Douglas D. Douglas

              Brilliant! Then everyone will have to buy new ones!

            • Missionary Kid

              Hi DDD I’m contacting you from 5/3013

              Our little Greek friend, Theo, got a nap, and now he really is a Troll.

              Here’s what he posted to me at 8:53 am on 5/30/13

              http://tonyortega.org/2013/05/29/marty-rathbun-builds-his-warrior-legend-in-new-memoir/#comment-913740703

              He really is a True Believer, as Eric Hoffer would put it.
              I made the mistake yesterday of actually spending time on him.
              All he’s getting from me is short answers, if any, from now on.

            • Douglas D. Douglas

              Short ‘n sweet.

              (He can look it up, if he doesn’t understand.)

            • DeElizabethan

              Yes he is a true believer who can’t differentiate, and all the rest that goes with it!

          • grundoon

            That’s OSA’s new prune juicer, not an air raid siren.

            • FistOfXenu

              So it’s OSA that’s full of prunes?

            • grundoon

              Gwen is prune-obsessed. She TR3’s prunes. Must be command intention from uplines.

          • Andrew Robertson

            “On another note, we in RTC checked our records and have found that bitter defrocked apostate Patty Moher…”

            You forgot to mention that Patty was just a janitor, like Jesse Prince and many other bitter defrocked apostates.

            ‘The Church of Scientology’

            Now hiring

            Janitors – exciting careers opportunities for those who want to secure their eternity and rid this planet of war,crime, insanity and deep fried Mars Bars.

            (And also ensure that the Org restrooms have adequate supplies of toilet paper through voluntary fixed donations from church publics.)

            Andrew

      • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

        My beloved, illustrious COB …

        1). We both know that the only dark matter involved is the result of biological solids representing what is left once all nutritional value has been extracted from foodstuffs; which in humans I believe is indicative of poor nutritional habits (but I could be wrong).

        2). To assist you in off-setting your PR Web costs I would to extend an olive branch I the form of connecting you with an incredible opportunity to assist a wealthy Nigerian prince living in exile. As an illegal alien (despite pre-dating all of you the fact that I am not human still stands in the way of my green card), I cannot assist this poor Nigerian in the manner he is requesting, if you can send me your birth date, social security number and bank account information I will have him deposit the equivalent of $78,000,000 into your account by the end of week; he promises to leave 6.66% of that amount as a gratuity.

        3). Can we give the “75,000,000 year old trap” a rest for a while? My family and I have been having a blast, there are worse places to live (I.e., 3-bedroom condo with the cast of the Real Houseswives – as in all of them from every series). Besides, you didn’t seem to complain through the last implant session.

        • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

          The “75,000,000 year old trap” is a nonnegotiable article of our faith and so, no, it cannot be given a rest.

          • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

            Fine … see if I let -you- play with the Hoipolloi on their return visit to this sector.

            “But I was COB, I want to play with the gorillas!” is all I can hear you saying then.

            PS: My wife has a pending trademark on the “76,000,000 million year trap” in relation to me. Somehow having deluxe penthouses on Venus, Mars and Titan doesn’t have the same social standing it once had. You’ve got another 63 years left before you hear from her lawyer … some guy from Florida who thinks he’s a religious leader of some sort for a billion R6ers.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        “Flublessnessesses?”

        I smell another lawsuit coming. From the Seuss Estate.

        • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

          As you have highly blasphemed we in RTC by attributing our works to a dead wog cartoonist, we have invented a new word just for you:

          Douglas D. Douglasnessesses: The suppressive criminal act of attributing Scientology terms to dead writers and cartoonists.

          • aquaclara

            Oh so good.

          • Douglas D. Douglas

            <—Speechless.

      • DodoTheLaser

        COB’s great wisdom and truthiness impinged upon this SP so hard, shattering suppressive valences, engramic circuitries and the clutches of deadly electronic implants and dramatizations of all of the above – straight to the thetan! Off to get some salad and do my A-E steps! Thank you COB, The Discoverer of The Lost Tech!

        • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

          DodoTheLaser: You are ordered to skip the salad and get straight onto A-E.

          Your eternity is at steak, don’t lose it over a salad!

          • DodoTheLaser

            Thank you, Sir! I’ll skip the salad and go straight for the “Eternity” steak (with mashed potatoes).

            • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

              Well done!

      • Observer

        Ohhhh … Bob’s Big Boy bleu cheese dressing … consarn it, you in RTC, you found my ruin!

        • Missionary Kid

          IMO, when Mariott Corp. bought the chain, they screwed it up. I had my first one at the little restaurant in my part of L.A. in about 55 or 56. The “salad” was a wedge of iceberg lettuce, and I’d get the combo with fries and a cherry coke.

          What made the burger good was that they toasted the 3 piece buns. At the time, I liked the thousand island dressing better.

        • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

          Bob’s Big Boy bleu cheese dressing is a huge ruin for anyone who has ever tasted it.

          For this reason, we in RTC long ago designed the BBBBC Rundown, a Flag only super effective rundown designed to handle the creamy richness of taste offered by cold and fresh Bob’s Big Boy bleu cheese salad dressing on a hot double decker Bob’s Big Boy hamburger and french fries.

          In the entire history of this agonized universe, no one has ever donated for this rundown.

          We also understand that BFG likes In-N-Out as do so many millions of other people.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            In-N-Out!!!
            I am so having a double-double in 19 days and 3 hours!

            • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

              Why the wait?

              Life is so short after all; just ask Henri:

              http://www.squidoo.com/thomas-kinkade

            • BuryTheNuts2

              I have to wait till I will be where there is an In-N-Out Burger!

              Yuck on the TK paintings; they make me nauseous!

          • John P.

            Whenever we fly the Global Capitalism HQ Gulfstream G500 into LAX, we use the air-to-ground phone system just before beginning the approach checklist, typically a few miles east of Daggett or when we’re over Palm Springs to call the limo driver and have him go through the line at In-N-Out. The pilots typically request arrival on Runway 24R. The In-N-Out on Sepulveda is just off the right side of the aircraft as the pilot lines up on the extended threshold. In our jet, we have a custom landing checklist for LAX, which requires the pilot to look out the right window just before re-checking that the spoilers are armed to count the number of cars in line for drive-through. That way, we can be assured that when we taxi from 24R on the north side of the airport and arrive at the FBO on West Imperial, my 3×5 no onions, animal fries and large pink lemonade is ready and waiting when we jump in and roar off to our first meeting.

            • Missionary Kid

              I eat at In-N-Out all the time, so my guilty pleasure when I get close to L.A. is at the Original Tommy’s Hamburger.

              Greasy chili on it (I order extra, and extra onions), tomato, pickles, and mustard. Not for people with heart problems. It’s a family owned chain. If you fly into Burbank, there’s one close. Otherwise, the closest to LAX is probably Santa Monica, or the original shack, at Beverly & Ramparts. It’s an acquired taste, but I’ve been eating them since about ’68, longer than In-N-Out, which I discovered about ’71.

              I don’t compare them. They’re a different type of burger.

            • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

              Brilliant final approach planning on the part of Global Capitalism HQ!

              When COB is flying into LAX in his chartered Cessna Mustang, no one will take him seriously. Even the workers at In-N-Out, it seems, have no respect for the Cessna Citation.

              So what happens is that when COB and his communicator Lou get in their Chevy Cobalt for the drive back the Base, they stop by the same In-N-Out next to LAX on Sepulveda where there is always a long line in the drive thru.

              By the time they wait and wait forever in line, COB is screaming and wants to his 20×20 NOW (yes, a 20×20), five orders of fries animal style, three chocolate shakes, and one Sprite with no ice.

              Worried that In-N-Out will get his order wrong, COB makes Lou get out of the car (which she does not want to do as she is in her comfy airplane pajamas) and scream into the speaker so that she exactly duplicates COB.

              http://i1284.photobucket.com/albums/a563/OTVIIIisGrrr8/2376847965_953dfdc667_zps3b9b2f6c.jpg

            • Missionary Kid

              What’s COB doing in such a small plane? After all, he’s such a Big Being, he should be flying in at least a Gulfstream.

    • Lady Squash

      The lying is outrageous and unnecessary. I agree completely, but to play the devil’s advocate for a minute, I actually know someone who was helped by Narconon. He was seriously into drugs, living in his car, stealing, health badly deteriorated. His family, Scientologists, finally managed to get him to Narconon. He had to go through the program three times, but last I heard he was clean, had a job and a girlfriend. It didn’t work the first time. But it did work the third time. Fortunately his family had the money to pay for three times through.
      So why lie? It works sometimes.
      My conclusion is that it’s about the money. Let’s say it works 25% of the time–if it doesn’t kill you first. But there is more money in lying. It’s a choice–be honest or soak the vulnerable. The Church has always chosen the latter. Disgusting, really.

      • grundoon

        Having read your anecdote, Ms. Squash, now I can say with confidence: “I read on the Internet that an anonymous person has an anonymous acquaintance who did Narconon, did more drugs, did more Narconon, did more drugs, did more Narconon, and at last report, hadn’t begun the cycle again.” Taken together with Kirstie Alley’s first-person endorsement, these new facts add considerable gravitas.

    • Andrew Robertson

      Wonderful post Marc. Preying on vulnerable people desperate to get family members off drugs by lying about success rates is disgusting. Particularly when trading drugs for sex between patients and staff is unlikely to be an effective regimen.

      But, Scientology is disgusting, though to their credit, at least consistent in their sheer disgusting awfulness in promulgating L Ron Hubbard’s quack nonsense.

      Clark Carr – what a guy!

      Andrew

  • RMycroft

    Summary: Narconon works A-OK, according to Narconon.

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      That’s it!

  • Statement from Oklahoma Attorney Gary Richardson last night:

    “They can claim the 75% rate all they want to, but they NEVER
    HAVE HAD PROOF OF IT that I have seen, after months of reading their
    material. Nothing, Period! Number two, they have been using that number
    for years. Who would be foolish enough to believe this? Surely they
    could improve on that % if they had a basis for it. Thirdly, they give a
    lot of credit for their success to the “sauna”. Ah “no one else uses
    it”, they say, which is true as far as I can determine. For good
    reasons, of course not. Why would they?

    Narconon never has had a shred of scientific evidence to support
    their claim that has been published, that I have seen. They were on the
    eve of trial in Georgia a couple of months ago and “folded” their tent
    the week before trial. They did not have an expert, so I was told, to
    support the ridiculous claims they make about the “sauna” or rational
    evidence to support their self-determined rate of success they claim to
    have. Which, if true, would be approximately three to four times better
    than any other rehab in the Country? Bottom line, if it were true,
    NARCONON wouldn’t have to advertise. They wouldn’t be able to buy, rent
    or lease enough space to service those that would be running to them for
    their services. Logic! Truth!”

    • Ms. B. Haven

      “their self-determined rate of success they claim to
      have… would be approximately three to four times better
      than any other rehab in the Country? Bottom line, if it were true,
      NARCONON wouldn’t have to advertise. They wouldn’t be able to buy, rent
      or lease enough space to service those that would be running to them for
      their services.”

      That pretty much sums it up. If the ‘tech’ was workable, the public would be coming arriving in droves as Hubbard might say. Not happening. Also, NN wouldn’t have to distance itself from scientology ‘tech’ and visa versa. Each could proudly claim the universal workability of the ‘tech’ developed by mankind’s greatest friend. Not happening. Maybe NN should send some staff to study the Public Relations Course noted in one of the fliers in yesterday’s Bunker post. Oh ya, why would all these public relations measures be necessary if such stellar products were being produced? When shitty products are produced, public relations measures are needed to try to spiff things up a bit. But, as the old saying goes, you can’t polish a turd.

      • Racnad

        Ms. Haven, if Scientology was what it said there was, it would be one the most popular religions by now, psychiatry would have fallen by the wayside, there would be “Ideal Orgs” in every town, not just in big cities, we would have Scientologist mayors, congressmen, maybe even a President, and ex-Scientologists would be rare.

        • DodoTheLaser

          Right on!

        • Lady Squash

          So true, so true.

      • Missionary Kid

        You can’t polish a turd, or, my favorite expression, gild shit.

      • DodoTheLaser

        Just read your post, after I posted something very similar 🙂
        Oh well, it’s worth repeating. Thank you for making a great point, Ms.B.Haven!

    • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

      Thanks, David. I always read your comments with special attention.

      I think that if just 10% of what Scientology said were true, everyone in the world would already be a Scientologist.

      Here’s what I would like to know, and I realize that I may be way behind others in my knowledge and research. I believe that the Purification Rundown is the basis for Narconon. Is there anyone out there who knows someone, or was someone on the original experiments for the Purification Rundown? I have heard the rumour that the experiment was done on a group in the RPF. I have heard that the study was not conducted by L.Ron but by two medical doctors who were also Scientologists. And I have heard that they were not looking for a way to get people off drugs but for an end result of any sort. The end result that occurred was the purple sweat that they talk about. All the other claims were constructed around that.

      Again, I cannot swear to the truth of this. I heard it from a usually unreliable source– a Scientologist. Does anyone else know this story or a more accurate version of this story? Was anyone out there one of the original test subjects? If someone could testify to this in a court of law, it would seem to be game over for Narconon. It seems to be damning evidence that the treatment was baloney from the start.

      • RMycroft

        David E. Root, who basically co-authored Clear Body, Clear Mind would be one.
        Megan Shields might be the other one.

        • Michael Leonard Tilse

          I was in the Sea Org when hubbard was starting the “research” that became the purif. Narconon existed and was being promoted by the G.O. long before that. I had heard about NN as early as 1975.

          In 1977 or 78, evidently, hubbard noticed that some of his ex-druggie assistants couldn’t understand his insane orders, so he began to research why, and hallucinated that LSD “stays in the body”.

          He wrote a HCOB called “years after they have come off drugs” or something like that, explaining his theory.

          Just before this, in LA, members of the RPF and staff were seen running around the block in rubber suits. These were designed to make them sweat, supposedly flushing out the LSD. They ran for hours in these things, suffering heat stroke sometimes. This was the earliest version of the purif. Again, basically uncontrolled criminal human experimentation. I believe that Jesse Prince and Andre T. were there and saw this too.

          This morphed into the sauna program, which was first piloted at Flag in Florida on FLB staff.

          The second staff sauna pilot was run in LA using a large steam heated sauna in the basement of the ‘Y’ shaped main building at ‘big blue’. This was late 1979. I was there and did it for 60 days and suffered liver damage. IIRC, Roy Selby was one of the Case Supervisors who was running the program for hubbard. Dr. Denk and Dr. Shields were involved for physicals and health checks.

          • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

            Thank you, all. I think I have a large part of my answer.

            I really hope that the people involved in the case in Oklahoma read this blog and the comments under it.

          • TheWidowDenk

            “Dr. Denk and Dr. Shields were involved for physicals and health checks.” I expect you are correct about Dr Denk. Are you ABSOLUTELY sure about Dr Shields?

            • Michael Leonard Tilse

              It could be that Shields became involved with Shaw at a later date and was not involved with the early purif pilot programs, but definitely over many years, Shields was at Shaw and saw staff members from LA for a variety of physical checkups. I don’t have records, just my observation that over the years when I went to Shaw to see Shields, there were always sea org people in the office waiting to see her or other staff. So, as to ABSOLUTELY, no. I do think I saw Denk when I was routing onto the purif.

            • TheWidowDenk

              Thank you. I believe you are correct that Dr Shields became involved at a later date.

          • Racnad

            Yes, I recall hearing of a “Sweat Program” that involved running in rubber suits & saunas. This was for former LSD users and was supposed to cause the body to release LSD residuals supposedly stored in body fat. The initial HCOB announcing Purification Rundown stated something like “This replaces the Sweat Program.” This was the basis of some confusion in Lawrence Wright’s book which mentions people doing the Purif as far back as the early 1970s. The Church’s official fact-check site smugly states that the Purif was not released until 1978.

            • TheWidowDenk

              Yes, I don’t think people were doing the Purif as far back as the early 1970’s. I believe it was released in the later 1970’s and 1978 is probably correct.

            • Racnad

              TheWidowDenk, were you married to the famous Dr. Denk? Do you have a blog or other place you have posted recollections?

            • TheWidowDenk

              Wow Racnad! You must be new here. Welcome, if that’s the case. Yes, I’m Dr Denk’s widow. I’m usually around here — at least reading if not commenting — and get roughed up a bit on occasion. I also read and post on a Facebook group. As far as my own recollections, I have written “Memoirs of TheWidowDenk — Stories of Love and Loss” but haven’t yet found a suitable venue in which to publish. Stay tuned … nice to be in touch.

            • Lady Squash

              Great title. I was a patient of Dr. Denk’s when I lived in Los Angeles. I really liked him and missed him when he “disappeared”. The rumor was that he was taking care of LRH. I couldn’t help wondering why someone of LRH’s advanced spiritual position–being cause over everything an all–needed a live-in physician. I hope your book sheds some light on that. You were on the front lines or close to someone who was and your insights and perceptions would be interesting. I look forward to reading your book.

            • TheWidowDenk

              Thanks Lady. I suspect the “live-in” physician part was due to security, not necessarily that LRH needed a full time physician for the 1 1/2 years of Dr Denk’s absence. Please don’t hold your breath on the my book’s eventual arrival. It might take some time.

            • grundoon

              Ms. Denk, when you publish, please make an announcement here! I’m sure there are many here who would like to read of your experiences.

            • TheWidowDenk

              Most certainly will announce when I publish. Thanks …

      • We have heard from some of the early Purif guinea pigs on this board before.

        • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

          Thanks RM and Robert. I don’t always read every comment. I do remember reading a comment from someone who said that they were in the second group. Have people come forward saying they were in the first group? Has the story I heard been confirmed or contradicted?

          • Sidney18511

            i remember reading that the “sweat program” was supposed to remove all the LSD that was stored in the body. Back in the 60s and 70s everyone and their brothers had tried LSD at some point, and the good Dr. Hubfraud came up with his sweat theory.

            • FLUNK_101

              “I’ve talked to several people who were with L Ron Hubbard when he took LSD.” – Jon Atack

            • Poison Ivy

              Probably the most sanity he ever experienced in his life.

            • FistOfXenu

              But I bet he never ran around in a rubber suit himself.

            • DodoTheLaser

              “But I bet he never ran around in a rubber suit himself.”

              Just because it’s a brilliant point.

            • RMycroft

              Not unless it was in the Jack Parsons days…

            • DodoTheLaser

              Bahahaa!

            • DodoTheLaser

              Like that?

              [IMG]http://i42.tinypic.com/33dbax4.jpg[/IMG]

            • John P.

              I bet he never ran around in a rubber suit himself.

              Don’t bet on that. Perhaps the original function of the oiliness table was to grease up Hubbard’s ample flesh so he could more easily slip into the rubber suit.

            • FistOfXenu

              Damn you John! Now I can’t stop seeking a lumpy manatee flopping around on the table. That’s gonna kill my appetite for days if I can’t think of something better.

            • Observer

              Aaaaargh! Blech!

            • DAMN IT John, you can’t be throwing images like that out all nilly willy!

              The mental image alone cost me a ton of sanity ponts.

            • ze moo

              “Help, get these body thetans off me!!!!” Now we know where that load of crap came from. Lron, ride the bummer trip……..

            • DodoTheLaser

              Ha! If true, “The Commodore” wasn’t qualified for the sea org!

            • Missionary Kid

              He sure wasn’t qualified for much of anything.

            • DodoTheLaser

              Stop being so entheta, MK!
              Hubbard was extremely qualified Fantasist and Connologist!

            • Missionary Kid

              You’re right, but so am I. I put Fantasist and Connologist under the category of much of anything.

            • FistOfXenu

              Hubbard? Not qualified for something he said he was the world’s expert at? You just shocked the hell out of me, Dodo.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              If it removed all of the LSD from the body, then why could they not then join the sea org?
              lying liars.

            • Bella Legosi

              This goes to show that Bella truly wasn’t into hallucinigins, but I thought LSD never left your body? It leaves residual amounts in your spinal chord? lol If that is an old wives tale to keep kids off that drug, I have to say it worked for me! LSD was never my bag then or now, I really don’t need it, I am weird enough as it is! But, yeah I have heard that about LSD. Did I just make an ass out of myself or is this true?

            • BuryTheNuts2

              If ever there was a spine in danger, it would have been mine.

              http://www.lsdaddiction.us/content/does-lsd-stay-in-your-spine.html

            • Bella Legosi

              Thank you Bury! I got myself some edumahcation!

              Screw LSD. For serious. Never had any fun with it and I am eternally cursed whenever I am involved in procuring it. I believe that is Uncle Cosmo telling me, “No….no little one. You really don’t need it!”

              🙂

            • Missionary Kid

              Hi, BTN2.

              I’m contacting you from 5/30/12

              Our Greek friend, Theo is turning into a real Kool Aid drinking Troll for Marty.

              Here’s how he’s come back after a nap.

              http://tonyortega.org/2013/05/29/marty-rathbun-builds-his-warrior-legend-in-new-memoir/#comment-913740703
              I plan on only giving him short answers, if any.
              Do you have a better suggestion?

            • Lady Squash

              Exactly. I remember now, it was also supposed to remove all the LSD from the body, however, if you had taken LSD you were ineligible for the Sea Org (thank God) whether you had done the Purif. And no one seemed to notice or care about the contradiction. Really weird.

          • FLUNK_101

            “I’ve talked to several people who were with L Ron Hubbard when he took LSD.” – Jon Atack

          • BuryTheNuts2

            I think Michael Leonard Tilse and THDNE may be able to provide some info. I am not sure they were in the first group though.

      • Bob

        MKOT,
        In 1980 the first purif in the PAC area was created. It was wild and wooley and about as scientific as a voodoo witch doctor. It was conducted in the basement of the big blue building. The “sauna” was actually the boiler room. Not a real sauna. It was a mix of staff and public. The end result was to get rid of all the residual drugs and toxins in your system. Not to get anyone off drugs. There was no real determining factor of when you were finished. When you felt really good after 3-5 weeks you were done. Also determined by reaching 5000 mg of niacin a day. I was part of that first group and it was pretty weird.

        • Michael Leonard Tilse

          it was not a boiler room. The steam was tapped off the steam heat to the main building and run over to steam radiator heaters with fans. The room was constructed in a basement room under the main building with sheets of plywood and dimensional lumber. It might have even been pressure treated lumber, as I seem to remember a green cast and the waffle pattern of the pressure treating process.

          The boiler room was about 200 feet away underneath the “Publications Org” building on N. Catalina Drive.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            Oh great. Copper Napthenate?
            No wonder you had liver damage.
            Sheesh!!!!

            • Michael Leonard Tilse

              I wondered about it at the time. There was a smell, but I eventually just discounted that as from all the sweaty bodies in there.

          • Bob

            Yes, that is correct. My faulty memory. Thanks for the correction.

            • Michael Leonard Tilse

              No problem. Some things I remember well, others I don’t. I do think that we have a duty to be as accurate as possible in telling the true story, and say what we are not sure of. No more lies.

        • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

          Thanks, one and all, for your time and for the precise explanations.

          • DodoTheLaser

            At the end of the program – 5000 mg of Niacin a day “until it produces no more reaction” for a few days, plus one feels free from toxins. That’s how I remember the “end phenomena”.

            I guess, after one went through, TR’s, Objectives AND Purif and still didn’t blow – he or she is likely to continue on “the bridge to total freedom”, at least for some time.

        • Douglas D. Douglas

          I recall reading a great exchange here a few weeks (months?) ago in which “the guy with the knife” identified himself. Was he part of the first Purf Rundown?

          • BuryTheNuts2

            MLT is the guy with the knife.

      • DodoTheLaser

        I think it was THDNE, who shared something about it.
        She’s been missing for like a week here…
        I hope she’s ok.

        • aquaclara

          THDNE, WHERE ARE YOU? Just that there is a lot happening and you are much missed.

      • Lady Squash

        I’ve done the Purification 3x. The first time was not in a sauna. I was one of the early ones. I wrapped myself in a kind of plastic bag and ran for hours. The second and third time were done in a sauna. The third time was at Flag, the Mecca of Technical Perfection. I had to do it because my Case Supervisor said so. Every Scientologist has to. The “reasons” are all in the book, “Radiation” by LRH.

        Originally, the Purif was about radiation. One had to cleanse ones body of accumulation radiation from sunburns and then somehow drugs slipped in. The third time I did the sauna at Flag, the Mecca of Technical Perfection was kind of fun. There was one guy who knew the words to every Broadway musical ever done. We sang a lot. We suffered together. There was a kind of camaraderie and even machismo for toughing it out.

        And afterwards I did feel pretty good. Who wouldn’t? You have to eat right, exercise and take a lot of vitamins. It’s all about you and your progress. You are fawned over and pampered. And if you bought the hype, which I did, I believed I was doing something wonderful for my body and therefore my spiritual progress, because those toxin keep you tied to your body and keep you from the spiritual freedom you are striving for.

        That said, I feel very sorry for anyone who had to do the Purif while trying to also hold down a job or as a punishment, which would be very perverse.

        Did I feel any significant long term benefit? None what-so-ever.

        I can, however, see some possible benefit from doing it as part of a drug rehabilitation program. For one thing, your time is tightly controlled and all those vitamins and all that exercise and all that heat and sweating puts you through some changes. I have heard it said that drug addicts sometimes take drugs in order to feel something. You will feel something. It will take your attention off anything else for awhile.

        But the fact that neither Narconon nor Scientology ever submits to proper evaluation of its methods or results tells me they know they lie about its miraculous cures. It might help some people, sometime, but we will never know the truth. Scientology isn’t about the truth. It is about what works. And by what works, the Church means what makes them money.

        • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

          Thanks for the long, thoughtful and insightful comment. I think if they told a “do-it-for-Ron” Scientologist to lick on an all day sucker until it was gone, being careful not to chew the last part near the stick, he would pay $1200 minus a 15% discount, have a series of cognitions and his soul would travel to Venus and see railroads.

          How about the Broadway Rundown? Sing songs from Broadway musicals with perfect TR-1 until your voice has the timbre of Ethel Merman. At that point Ethel herself will be pulling the BTs from your body.

          The Radiation Rundown. Only at the Las Vegas org. Watch super colossal 3-D Japanese Monster movies until thetans, removed from their own bodies by Little Boy and Fat Man, get off your body. You will see the mushroom cloud as each one leaves.

          I suppose there is no end to the suggestibility within a person, and the amount they will pay when they believe they are getting something crucial to their welfare though all of time. Fortunately, reality, with all its challenges, trumps a pleasant fantasy every time.

          • FistOfXenu

            Now you’ve done it, you’ve given DM ideas for the next advanced tech he’s going to “recover” and pass off as lost Ron writings.

            • Mighty Korgo of Teegeeack

              Thanks for the note, Fist. I actually didn’t expect a reply. It is 9:28 and you made me laugh for the first time today.

    • Douglas D. Douglas
    • DodoTheLaser

      “…Bottom line, if it were true, NARCONON wouldn’t have to advertise.
      They wouldn’t be able to buy, rent or lease enough space to service those
      that would be running to them for their services. Logic! Truth!”

      And the same applies to Dianetics and the rest of Scientology.
      Ironically, it’s the opposite – they are buying big nice buildings for their “Ideal Orgs”,
      spending millions for advertizing (buses, banners, tv, etc.) and they just stay mostly empty.

    • Lady Squash

      Awesome summary. Thanks for posting it David Love.

    • grundoon

      In HCO BULLETIN OF 6 FEBRUARY 1978RA … RE-REVISED 4 DECEMBER 1979 … “THE PURIFICATION RUNDOWN REPLACES THE SWEAT PROGRAM”, L. Ron Hubbard explains the scientific basis for sauna treatment: “As it has been stated that it only takes 1/millionth of an ounce of LSD to produce a drugged condition and because it is basically wheat rust which simply cuts off circulation, my original thinking on this over the years was that LSD sticks around in the body. That basically is the idea underlying the original Sweat Program.”

      The theory behind taking daily tablespoon to half-cup quantities of cooking oil: “Toxic substances tend to lock up mainly, but not exclusively, in the fat tissue of the body. (There is no such thing as a fat cell.) The theory, then, is that one could replace the fat tissues that hold these accumulations. The body will actually tend to hold onto something it is short of. Thus, if you try to get rid of something it is short of, it won’t give it up. So, in the matter of oil, if the person takes some oil the body might possibly exchange the good oil for the bad fat in the body. That is the basic theory. … (Worth mentioning here is also the fact, particularly in regard to thin people, that while toxic substances lock up mainly in fat tissue it does not mean that the person cannot have drug deposits inside cells.)”

      Those undergoing Purification take large doses of vitamins and minerals, based on Hubbard’s research into biochemistry. “Having been an early discoverer and instigator of vitamin therapy over the past 29 years, I know whereof I speak on the subject of nutritional deficiencies. My work covering vitamins and deficiencies, stimulants and depressants and the field of biochemistry goes back to the spring of 1950. … Obviously a C deficiency, a B Complex deficiency and a niacin deficiency are brought about by drugs. There may be other deficiencies that we are not aware of at this time. But that list is certain. Also, alcohol, for example, depends for its effects on a person being able to burn up B1. When it burns up all the B1 in the system the person goes into DTs (delirium tremens) and nightmares. In the case of other toxic substances the probability exists that other vitamins besides B1 are burned up. What we seem to have hit on here is that the LSD and street drugs burn up not only B1 and B Complex (which we assume they do) but also create a deficiency in niacin in the body and that they possibly depend on niacin (one of the B Complex vitamins) for their effect. It is easily seen that there is a wide range of toxic substances which create nutritional deficiencies.” Some of Hubbard’s recommended daily doses are enormous: Vitamin A, 5000 IU; Niacin, 100 mg to begin, “increased gradiently to as high as 5000 mg.”

      Hubbard makes special mention of niacin. “Niacin’s biochemical reaction is my own private, personal discovery. In the middle of the 1950s, I was doing work on radiation and I worked out that it must be niacin that operated on radiation. I was recently told by a doctor that the Dianazene formula of that time is remarkably workable today. … In 1973 someone got a Nobel Prize for curing insanity with niacin, but it was fairly marked that he didn’t know the facts of what was actually happening because it was then promptly abandoned as people found that prolonged quantities of niacin ‘gave very bad side effects.’ The truth of the matter is that if one continues niacin, always along with the other necessary vitamins in proper amounts, the bad effects will vanish. In other words, the work I did on this was picked up and misapplied and then abandoned. … CAUTION: The manifestations niacin produces can be quite horrifying. … The … vital and proven facts here are: When the niacin was carried on until these things discharged they did run out, as they will do. (Sometimes people chicken out on it and don’t finish the course and it leaves them hung up. This should not be allowed to happen.) IT IS A MATTER OF RECORD THAT WHAT TURNS IT ON WILL TURN IT OFF WHERE NIACIN IS CONCERNED.”

      Hubbard’s research encompassed not just biochemistry but also endocrinology: “Between 1945 and 1973 I studied the endocrine system. In 1973 it seemed that minerals and trace minerals operating in the blood stream and circulated by other body fluids were a key to glandular interactions. The theory is: Every gland in the body specializes in one or more minerals and actually that is how they make themselves interact one with another. The endocrine system of the body monitors the endocrine system of the body apparently through minerals. … Calcium is a must where any healing or exchange process is involved as it is a basic building block. But more important, it is calcium which affects the nervous system. I do not know the total relationship between calcium and toxic substances (and neither does anyone else) but it actually exists. The rationale back of this is that calcium in deficiency sets a person up for spasms. Nerve spasms occur in the absence of calcium. A person who thinks he is in high tension or something of the sort may simply have a calcium deficiency. Calcium would be administered in company with magnesium. Magnesium itself has been proven necessary to keep the nerves smoothed out. The proven ratio is one half the quantity of magnesium to the quantity of calcium. Something else odd about calcium is that it has to have an acidic base to operate in. If the system is too alkaline the calcium will not release the positive ion which makes it possible for the calcium to operate in the cellular structure and go through the vein walls and the intestinal walls and so forth. In other words, in an alkaline system calcium is ineffective and inactive. So this brings us up to vinegar, which would add the acidic base. With calcium, magnesium and vinegar, in their correct quantities, in water exactly per the recipe, we have Cal-Mag. That is what ‘Cal-Mag’ is and what it does. I developed and worked this out in 1973 against the very best biochemical background and references and tests.”

      Hubbard gives instructions for careful medical supervision: Purification candidates have their blood pressure checked, are tested for anemia, and are given vitamin and mineral supplements. “The Medical Officer gives a person okay to go onto the program only after ensuring that the person’s blood pressure is normal and that he is not anemic. The M.O. does these checks himself where he is trained to do so. He also checks for any vitamin and mineral deficiencies the person may have and gets him onto a program of vitamin and mineral supplements to correct this. A thorough medical examination by a doctor may, in some cases, be required before a person is given a medical okay to begin the Purification Program. While on the program, the person daily reports in to the Medical Officer who issues him his vitamins, minerals, niacin and oil and sees how he is doing. Blood pressure and anemia checks are redone as needed. He also writes up any needed medical reports on the person and these are immediately filed in his pc folder for the C/S to inspect. … The C/S verifies each person’s daily progress (initialling the daily report and any medical reports to show he has inspected them) and writes orders to correct any out-tech found, such as not taking the right vitamins, etc.” [It may be noted that medical training or credentials are not requirements for the posts of Medical Officer or C/S (case supervisor) in a Scientology org. I believe it was reported that, for liability reasons in the aftermath of the Lisa McPherson case, any training in a health care field now disqualifies one for the post of Medical Officer.]

      To clarify the intent of Purification, Hubbard sets forth some disclaimers: “The Purification Rundown does not supplant technology developed and in use especially in Narconon for persons currently on drugs and apt to experience withdrawal symptoms when taken off of them. The rundown would be begun only after such technology was applied. … We are not concerned with handling bodies with the Purification Rundown. Our concern is freeing the individual up spiritually. The only dosages recommended are those classified as food. There are no medical recommendations or claims for it. The only claim is future spiritual improvement. This data is released as a record of researches and results noted. It cannot be construed as a recommendation of medical treatment or medication and it is undertaken or delivered by anyone on his own responsibility. I receive no percentage of fees for administering this rundown and my development of it is a contribution and gift to my friends.”

      To underline his disclaimers, Hubbard says candidates for Purification are to be prepared as follows: “A. Get a signed release or quit claim from the person as is usual. B. See that the person understands that the action is being undertaken to help free him as a spirit and is not a medical treatment. C. No medication of a medical nature. Vitamins, minerals and oils are food. D. Brief the person as to what he can expect and why, making no promises. E. Getting his promise to follow orders and complete the rundown and not blow it because it’s uncomfortable or because he is lazy or has other appointments.”

      • sister wendy

        He makes it sound like the whole thing is run so carefully, but when my family did the purif, there was no real check up. They certainly didn’t check for low blood pressure or anemia (both of which I had) and they didn’t care how long we stayed in, or how much we ran before (I didn’t, I just walked a little) Also, it was weird in “deciding” when you were done. I was by myself most of the time and just used it like a regular sauna- which is always lovely. But some ultimate cleanse? I guess if you got a fever high enough…;) snort

  • Truthiwant

    As a comedian, Clark, you are not one of the funniest men I know.

    Clark, you could do with some one-liners for your next stand-up show and I thought I could
    help you out with a couple of jokes. Start off with this one, Clark

    “How do you prove that Narconon works?”

    “Get Kirstie Alley to defend it and sue anybody else that tries to speak out!”

    And just as the audience are wiping the tears off their eyes from laughing, crack this one, Clark

    “How do you get the “Cured by Narconon” statistics straight up and vertical?”

    “Ignore the people that have died, lie to the TV cameras and publish a fake 40 year history!”

    You don’t like them, Clark?

    Well, neither do I think you are funny, you asshole.

    • RMycroft

      He does impressions…

      • Observer

        In this clip, he’s doing a lousy impression of an honest man seeking to help those in the throes of addiction.

        • Douglas D. Douglas

          “Drugs are bad, m’kay?”

          • Observer

            He does look a bit like Mr. Mackey, doesn’t he?

          • Missionary Kid

            They can’t be. LRH used them.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        OK shoopers. Here’s the screen grab. What absolutely infallible objects can you place in those hands? A vacuum pack of chicken parts? A vinyl album of ABBA’s Greatest Hits? Am iPad opened to Google Earth? The possibilities are as boundless as the IMAGINATION…

  • Noah Miller

    The “What is Recovery?” section was missing the last half of those sentences. So I went ahead and corrected the errors.

    1.) Drug Abstinence… except for in our illegally maintained dorms where drugs are readily available and traded freely.

    2.) Having a job or returning to school… so long as that job is at Narconon or the Sea Org and the school is administered by ABLE.

    3.) Staying out of prison…. by which we mean you are willing to serve prison time to forward the goals of Scientology.

    4.) Good relations with family or friends… in that you bilk them for all their money then cut off ties and never see them again, yes we are heartless pricks and vile human beings.

  • Anon Nom Nom

    God help them if this crap is the best they can come up with after months of horrible publicity.

    • aquaclara

      Davey, are you enjoying your Memorial Day roasting so far???

      • Observer

        ..

        • BuryTheNuts2

          Well, I was never a hot dog fan, but now I think I will abstain for good.
          I always heard they were filled with all kinds of garbage meat.
          This confirms it.
          Do you have any charts or stats you can fabricate to go along with this shoop so that I can be completely comfortable in my decision to go cold turkey on the dogs?

          • Espiando

            BTN: As a food safety expert who’s spent a good portion of the last 25 years in the meat industry, let me assure you that half of what you hear about hot dogs isn’t true. The fact is that even if you use the cheapest trimmings, they’re put in the equivalent of a big-ass blender and turned into a meat smoothie, then they’re put into cases. You’re not going to be able to tell the difference between tenderloin and cheek meat. And, no, they don’t put in noses or tripe or anything like that.

            Best bet: get all-beef hot dogs, since the cheap ones are usually a blend of pork and poultry, which has to be smoked and cooked longer for food safety purposes and get a little tough at that stage.

            • Sherbet

              You’re right, Espiando. I know this for a fact, too.

            • hogarthian

              In spite of myself, I love hotdogs. Throughout the BSE outbreak I loved them… foot n mouth outbreak, I loved them…. reading that they contained ground chicken lips and cows arseholes, I still loved them. And then you said “meat smoothie”. It’s over now.

          • Observer

            I’m sorry, but I am not up to the task of fabricating stats on COB wienies. I must go talk to Bob on the big white phone now …

          • Michael Leonard Tilse

            Bury, Bury, Bury… The stats are in the picture. It is an exact proportional representation of the findings of the study.

            Let me explain: 40 years of research has proven that Miscavige dogs composed of 100% garbage thetans are converted to 75% completely non-toxic synthetic animal-like protein substitute upon the application of cellulose based heat processing.

            Just cut off the dick head and enjoy the rest!

            • Missionary Kid

              Ah, yes, the infamous tube steak.

            • hogarthian

              LOL!… yes sir, it IS a steak, can’t you SEE that?.. it’s just tube shaped, that’s all. LOL!

            • BuryTheNuts2

              I am afraid if I cut it off that two would grow back!

            • Michael Leonard Tilse

              Well, there is that. But only in less than 62% of consumer tests!

          • Get Chutney Love

            I’d recommend the Hebrew National brand, or Farmer John’s if you live where the latter is available. We just went through a pack of FJ beef Polish kielbasa, and they come fully cooked, all you need to do is warm ’em up for a few minutes before chowing down in a bun with your favorites fixings added to them.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              My husband loves them and we buy Hebrew National. Nice snap.
              I only eat them if I have to and then I drown them in mustard and onions.

            • Missionary Kid

              How are the ones from Costco? They still carry the Hebrew National ones, but now they also have their house (Kirkland) brand.

            • Get Chutney Love

              The nearest Costco is 30 miles from where I live, so I have no idea. I would suggest checking the Internet, because there is probably a website somewhere, run by someone interested in rating hot dogs, that will answer your inquiry.

            • Missionary Kid

              When Costco slaps their brand on something, it’s usually pretty good. They used to serve Hebrew National dogs, but now they serve their own, which are pretty good.

              I’ll check around.for ratings. The problem is, when you buy them at Costco, you get something like 3 pounds.

            • Get Chutney Love

              I would think there shouldn’t be much difference between the stuff they sell in the carts and the stuff inside, unless it’s the size because people don’t mind paying a few bucks for something labeled jumbo, be it hot dogs or shrimp. Talk to the vendor about what he’s serving you.

            • Missionary Kid

              It is the same as they sell inside. Costco runs the food sales.

              I was wondering if you had any info on what was in them, because you seemed knowledgeable.

              I’ll just have to look at the label on the package next time I’m there.

            • Get Chutney Love

              According to what’s on the Costco website, they contain “no by-products, corn syrup, or fillers”, and they are fully cooked, and that’s all you can hope for in a hot dog.

              http://www2.costco.com/Browse/Product.aspx?prodid=11771453&whse=BD_823&topnav=national&cat=10777&hierPath=9897*10052*10777*&lang=en-US

            • Missionary Kid

              Thanks, that saved me from having to look it up.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              On the west coast, COSTCO used to sell Caspar hot dogs.

              They were the only brand I genuinely liked and would eat without whining.

            • Missionary Kid

              The Costco I go to used to be a Price Club, and they served Hebrew National. Now, they serve their Kirkland brand. I’ll bet they bought a meat packing plant.

            • Espiando

              No, they didn’t. Costco gets all of the Kirkland stuff co-packed by companies that very often produce their own brands. They do have to meet pretty strict standards in order to co-pack for Costco, though. Trust me, I’ve been involved in co-packing and third-party auditing.

            • Missionary Kid

              You’re probably right. It was In-N-Out that bought or built a packing plant so they could control the cost and quality of their burgers when they entered the market in Texas.

              Different type of store, different corporate strategy.

            • Missionary Kid

              When I Googled Caspars, the chain of restaurants that is located in the East Bay area came up. Apparently they sell their dogs at grocery stores, too. Is that the one?

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Yep, sure nuff is.

            • Missionary Kid

              I haven’t been in a Costco in N. CA. in years. I’m willing to bet that now that they have their own brand, that they might not sell Caspers hot dogs.

              Any one in N. CA that can help us out?

        • aquaclara

          A Shoop Fest BBQ! love this!

        • FistOfXenu

          Used to have TC’s head on the other end didn’t it?

        • Damn it Observer now I’ll never see a hotdog the same way again!

          Funny shop.

        • Missionary Kid

          That hot dog looks like it needs a circumcision!

    • FistOfXenu

      Don’t say that! “God” needs to help shut them down. Pick your god and pray.
      🙂

      • sugarplumfairy

        amen!

    • aquaclara

      Sad. NOT.

  • Observer

    ..

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Observer…You are so freaking cool and talented.

      • Poison Ivy

        Ditto that.

    • Truthiwant

      Now that’s what I call a well ‘executed’ Photoshoop!

    • George Layton

      Did dm change policy again, R2-45 to R2-38 to fit in his tiny fists?

      • BuryTheNuts2

        baahaahaa

      • Observer

        I’m surprised he hasn’t changed it to R2-Derringer

    • hogarthian

      That’s fab!

    • Exterrier

      Whoa! Excellent.

    • Observer

      Oh my … Downy has down-arrowed Ron!!

  • N. Graham

    The total lack of any science or research behind Narconon is finally getting the publicity it deserves. There is another bogus study somewhere, credited to two non-existent doctors. It’s amazing the degrees the cult will go to maintain their obfuscation. The fact that Tony got the person that actually made up the stats for this one to admit it is big! How low can Narconon go? It is amazing the lengths that one group will go to perpetuate lies and deception! But of course, that is why Scientology watching is so mind-shattering and entertaining. It is easy to get hooked on both sides, being a $cientologist, and being an anti-Scientologist.

    • FistOfXenu

      Bogus study and non-existent doctors. $cientarCONon’s SOP. Ever see the history of authors for All About Radiation? It’ll make you smile.

  • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

    “Scientology’s Drug Rehab Network Goes On the Offensive” … odd/ironic title given that Narconon has been on the offensive for years. Or am I confusing a state of being with a state of doing?

    Anywho … I was stumbling through the interwebs and found some meme-worthy chaps who I believe were part of the original CT ten.

    What? That was made up? Color me shocked! (Which is good because this grew is getting old!)

    • Missionary Kid

      NarCONon IS offensive.

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      You missed one:

  • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

    I wonder if Naronon approved of this definition because it includes the concept of independence of income.

    As in, “Just give us your money and you’ll be independent of income.”

    • Poison Ivy

      “independence of income” – great catch XenuLoK!

  • ze moo

    If Carr is so good at finding old things, why hasn’t he brought us Jimmy Hoffa or Ameila Earhart?

    CO$ has been keeping prweb and its clones busy with pro-narconon propaganda for most of this year. They have to buy any positive pr and then they better remember to keep any comments closed or moderated otherwise they are flooded with anti-narconon comments and stories. I am concerned with the sauna programs CO$ runs in NYC and Florida. They get people to believe that sitting in a sauna will ‘remove’ toxins in their body. I wish the FDA would force a disclaimer on these clowns..

  • 10oriocookies

    Im waiting for the whole track studies to come out. Thanks again Patty for stepping up and telling the truth. Good thing about Clark’s video is that he announced they will be releasing the studies one at a time. This will give us ample time to analyze and side check their work.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      You know what Eric? Narconon is fucked!

      • 10oriocookies

        Couldn’t have said it better myself.

        • aquaclara

          The best line ever….
          🙂

          • RMycroft

            Narconon has always been fucked, now they’re screwed.

            • aquaclara

              Oh, yes! And so neatly packaged here for attorneys to use!

            • hogarthian

              ‘Buggered’ I would say, seems to cover the spectrum of fuckedness, in this instance.

          • Guest

            It never gets old. Or any less true.

      • Missionary Kid

        To make it worse on themselves, they don’t even use the lubricant on the oiliness table.

  • Marta

    Patty, way to make a confession, girl! {{hands over head-clap,clap, clap}}

    • And how about a standing O for Tony O, tracking down the exact person to ask about this “study”?

      • Marta

        Oh, yeah, baby! Standing. Clapping. rah-rah-Rah!

  • Ivan Mapother

    I believe this Narconon study has been backed up by Prof. Sherman Klump of Wellman College and Prof. Ned Brainard of Medfield College. I also understand that another independent study will be released from Faber College as soon as Dean Vernon Wormer signs off on it.

    • CharlieWaters

      I’m surprised Narconon doesn’t mention all the people in Freedonia that are now leading drug-fee lives due to Narconon’s 95% success rate there.

      • Poison Ivy

        Hail Freedonia.

      • Sidney18511

        Wait until the stats for Narnia, Bulgravia and Venus are released…..now they will blow your socks off!

    • Missionary Kid

      What, no studies from the Hubbard College of Administration?

    • Missionary Kid

      What about the studies done in the Duchy of Grand Fenwick? Those PROVE that NarCONon works.

      • RMycroft

        And the ones done in Erewhon too!

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      And wasn’t there some excellent commentary from Chauncey Gardener of Washington D.C.?

      • Missionary Kid

        Oh, yeah, one of my favorite movies. For the rest of you, it’s Being There.

        Flat out, fantastic, deadpan black comedy. Peter Sellers actually auditioned so he’d get the part. His scene with Shirley McClain in the bedroom is a howler. If you haven’t seen the movie, do. The phrase, “I like to watch.” Takes on an entirely different meaning.

  • CharlieWaters

    So Narconon’s stand-up comic president is using SAMHSA’s working definition of recovery, even including SAMHSA’s web address. Wacky.

    I wonder if he realizes a lot of people in SAMHSA leadership positions are psychologists. It doesn’t take much searching on the website so conveniently provided by Carr (thanks, buddy!) to find this out.

  • ze moo

    “Prior to being shut down by the Health Agency, Narconon Trois-Rivieres was informed it must stop advertising a success rate that had no foundation or documented evidence.” Many years ago a US federal agency (FDA or Consumer Protection??) cracked down on the ‘4 out of 5 dentists recommend’ ads for the use of out of context numbers. Perhaps its time they examined NarCONon??

    A new category of information about CO$ has become available. ‘Asstistics’, the use of meaningless numbers delivered by the use of someones alimentary canal. Not that we haven’t seen this category before, we just called it lying….

    • Skwerl King

      Asstistics are very common and useful to successful con artists. 95% of hucksters agree!

  • BuryTheNuts2

    Patti Moher!
    Thank you shit loads and you ROCK!!!
    That is all.

    • aquaclara

      What Bury said!! You do ROCK!!!
      Way to go, Patty!!!

      • RMycroft

        Patty has been providing valuable information to critics for years. Not just exposing the lies, but how the Narconon organization system works and the relation with Scientology.

  • 10oriocookies
    • aquaclara

      This is excellent! Thanks, Oreo! You are doing great stuff!

  • So a dubious “study” showed they were “doing pretty damn well”. Well, that certainly sounds scientific enough to me! Who needs actual research when you have anecdotal accounts like that!

    What do you want to bet that a typical Narconon “study” goes something like this?

    Narconon staff calls former patient – “Are you getting high?”
    Former teen patient – “No man, no way! Hey I’m looking for my twinkies, do you know where I put them dude?”
    Narconon staff – “Awesome, another upstat!”

    Seriously though, that’s awesome that Patty Moher is getting the truth out there about this. I’d love to hear Carr’s response. Wonder if he’ll call her a “bitter defrocked apostate!”

    • Poison Ivy

      You make me think of that Narconon Vista Bay video with the follow-up counselor reading her tarot cards to see if the graduats need to call ethics or not.

  • Jeez, that first pic looks like a guy from another nutty cult: “Heaven’s Gate”. Good times; good times.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Oh, you are right!

  • George Layton

    At 1:51 the bottom line reads
    Good relations with family and friends.
    clark says “Good relations with family or friends.”
    Is he saying (Freudian slippishly) you can have good relations with family or you can have good relations with friends, but not both?

  • George Layton

    Each student will be charged an extra 5000$ for this booklet.

  • HeatherGraceful

    Oh, I do love Patty. <3

    I take my hat off to Clark for giving us yet another incredible footbullet.

  • well obviously ….rediscovered material ..oh for fucks sake . Did they mess up commas ? At some point …the shit just gets ridiculous .

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Sadly, we past that point long ago but the shit is still here!!!

  • HeatherGraceful

    “John D. Miller, MSW, performed and wrote up the results of this small outcome study on Narconon Connecticut in August 1978.”

    Patty, who is this John D. Miller?

  • Another video which will only be watched by protesters and lawyers. Sigh. At least you don’t have to cut down trees to make a video.
    Tony are you serious he’s a comic? What a joke! Literally!

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Come on AGP. You have seen Laughworks. Comic is a lose term in Scientology.
      Comical on the other hand……

      • Roger Larsson

        Subtle
        jokes makes it all fit in.

    • sugarplumfairy

      Angry Gay Pope!!! Yay!!!

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        You and Pope got down voted.

        Lucky.

        • sugarplumfairy

          Lol.. I think we’re both used to it..

    • Missionary Kid

      Hey AGP, you’ve been making some seriously wicked videos. Thank you.

  • N. Graham

    Of crocks of s@#$%, this might be the biggest of all, a page of Narconon “research.”
    http://www.narconon.org/about-narconon/research.html

  • Connor Martin

    Maybe I watch way to many cult propaganda vids, but Clark Carr looks an awful lot like Marshall Applewhite with specs. For half-a-moment I thought good ol’ Bo had flown down from a diamond-encrusted comet to drop some zombie troof on us! In the end I guess it’s all the same stand-up routine anyway…

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Somebody check his feet for Nikes!

      • FistOfXenu

        Or check if he’s still got his nuts. Or pretty much any thing more than his bones.

    • Observer

      I’ve gotta say, Applewhite’s fixed, dedicated glare puts Carr’s to shame.

      • FistOfXenu

        Applewhite didn’t just drink the kool aid, he he mixed it and taste tested it.

      • Applewhit is an asshole, he killed all them trekkys and now he works for CoS!

  • and get LRon a carton of Kools

    The cult stepped up their press releases a month ago. They know the internet is where desperate parents do their lightweight research when selecting rehab facilities. Beware an information gap on the net. If you can get the truth about narconon/scientology into google news, do so.

  • HeatherGraceful

    A study relating to the Utah Juvenile Court is linked on the Criminon site: *BEWARE* http://www.criminon.org/results-stats/

    (It is authored by CoS front-group FASE; for more about FASE see the Boston Herald’s 5-part series: http://www.apologeticsindex.org/s04a01.html)

    “Of the youth who completed the program, 63.5 percent remained completely misdemeanor and felony free during the remainder of their juvenile history.”

    When you take into account that the average age of this cohort of 74 juveniles at sentencing was 16.8 years, and the course took 6 months, that didn’t leave them a great deal of time to commit and be convicted of another misdemeanor or felony.

    This report is undated, but internal references suggest it was written in 2004 (it refers to April 2004 in the future tense) and addresses data to 2003. However, the NN bar chart appears to be citing this study as a 2005 study (n=74 completions; 63.5% figure quoted).

    I’m no statistician, so I look forward to comments by those who are. 🙂

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Well, well, well!

      I just found a very old friend who could be of some use to our cause , thanks to your mention of Utah (and google). He has great connections.

      I wish I had known he was ” The Executive Director of the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy” a few years back.
      I think it may be time I got in touch with Mr. Burns and apologize for the last time I soaped his car.

      http://www.ndaa.org/management.html

    • 10oriocookies

      Marie ceccinni is a scientologist. I remember tslking to her about this study before she did it. She does not mention her true connection to nn and scn.

      • HeatherGraceful

        Yes, she and her FASE colleagues turn up in connection with a lot of Scientology programs, but don’t disclose their connections.

      • HeatherGraceful

        “Maria Cecchini

        President/Treasurer, Narconon, Inc, Woburn MA

        Member, Church of Scientology.

        Patron of the International Association of Scientologists (i.e. donor of $40,000 to the IAS).”

        http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Narconon/personnel.htm

    • Michael Leonard Tilse

      I believe that FASE was invented by and staffed by scientologists. Arwen Dayton used to say she got her start in writing by doing reports, or something, for FASE. If I remember correctly.

      • HeatherGraceful

        From the Boston Herald:

        “”FASE was originally created to put Scientology covertly into schools and government, to give the Purification Rundown an air of respectability,” said Young, of Seattle.

        “All the top executives at FASE are Scientologists and some are former members of the Church of Scientology’s notorious Guardian’s Office, some of whose leaders – including L. Ron Hubbard’s wife, Mary Sue – were imprisoned for spying on the U.S. government in the 1970s”, Young said.”

        Mallia, Joseph “INSIDE THE CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY; Scientology group reaches kids through PBS videos”,
        Boston Herald, Mar 19, 1998, http://pqasb.pqarchiver.com/bostonherald/access/26973231.html?dids=26973231:26973231&FMT=ABS&FMTS=ABS

      • RMycroft

        The front groups get pretty incestuous. Dr David Root is at FASE, and the International Academy of Detoxification Specialists, which is cited by the New York Rescue Workers Detoxification Project that the Purif works. In fact, they all cite each other that it works. It’s Scientology’s version of Three Card Monte.

        The Rundown on Scientology’s Purification Rundown May 30, 2007, John DeSio, New York Press
        http://web.archive.org/web/20071013172721/http://www.nypress.com/20/22/news&columns/feature.cfm

    • HeatherGraceful

      “FASE was established in 1981 with the explicit purpose to [I]’research the efficacy of and promote the works of L. Ron Hubbard in the solving of social problems; and to scientifically research and provide public information and education concerning the efficacy of other programs'[/I], according to incorporation papers filed with the Attorney General of California, in Sacramento. The papers were later amended to remove Hubbard’s name.”

      http://www.xenu-directory.net/documents/corporate/990s-fase.html

    • tetloj

      Read FASE as FALSE!

  • California

    Kudos to Patty Moher for telling the truth.

    After more than a decade now of dealing with the lies of Scientology and even how some of the ex’es try, initially, to lie and/or defend some of the worst practices of SCN/Narconon and their own involvement…. lies that are pretty transparent to non-SCN people but not to the ex’es at the time, as far as I can tell…. it is excellent and refreshing to see ex’es step forward and set the record straight.

    In this case, it is part-n-parcel of ultimately saving lives. Drug addiction can kill and so can Narconon. Warning people away from Narconon is truly the “greatest good for the greatest number.” Congratulations.

    And SCN’s/Narconon’s well documented behavior of aligning themselves with some of the worst of law enforcement (some members of the DEA, as Luke taught us, plus the whole LA mess and politicians [“safe-pointing,” as an ex just recently taught us]) has served for years in protecting SCN/Narconon from accountability but that is slowly, steadily changing…. each outrageous and destructive endeavor that they engage in to an activist/ex is now blowing up in their faces, publicly and privately, as Jeff Quiros and Karen deLise of the SF Org have found out. Enough is enough.

    If a desperate parent/family member is cruising the Internet to find treatment for their loved ones, it would be good for them to be warned away from Narconon.

    Keep on the good work, everyone. The good guys are winning……..

  • Michael Leonard Tilse

    I am pretty sure there are NO favorable actual scientific studies done with actual recognized scientific procedures and controls by actual scientists.

    I have never see one. Hubbard didn’t do one, he was convinced of his ability to ‘discover’ such things as the residual traces of drugs in tissue by using his off-the-cuff and haphazard experimentation on humans coerced into volunteering. He took the self-reinforcing delusional ‘wins’ of these subjects trapped in a hallucinatory magical-thinking cult mindset as confirmation of his brilliant insight.

    Scientology is anti-science. It has to be, as actual science can prove just how bogus Hubbard’s creation is.

  • Michael Leonard Tilse

    I think Clark is going to be in trouble. At least sent to cramming. He obviously missed the post-it that was on that study from back in the G.O. days: “Do Not Use! the numbers haven’t been massaged and anyone can see this is just made up crap! – Love, Jane Kember” It probably fell off and is lying in the file drawer.

  • Michael Leonard Tilse

    Thank you Patty for standing up and telling your story. We all did crap to support the “aims of scientology”. It is us, the people who were there who helped in whatever ways to build this corrupt cult, standing up and telling the truth of what happened including our part in it that will dismantle it.

  • California

    Just to reiterate….

    It would be timely for Patty to submit her information tomorrow, as soon as the offices open, to every state insurance and substance abuse rehab facility agency (California, Florida, Georgia, Oklahoma, etc.) dealing with the criminal fraudulent mess. And to every attorney suing Narconon.

    Talk about the “greatest good for the greatest number!”

    • ze moo

      The FDA and various consumer protection agencies could be useful also.

      • California

        YES! And the local media and law enforcement plus any Democratic rivals to the Republicans supporting Narconon ……

  • Spackle Motion

    Did anyone actually get a hold of this document with the 23 “studies”?

  • Spackle Motion

    I don’t know if anyone linked to this, but Luke Catton did his own analysis on the Narconon “studies”. “Narconon Proves Their Own Claims are Fraudulent”:

    http://www.haveyoutoldall.com/narconon-proves-their-own-claims-fraudulent/

  • Sherbet

    Patty, for heaven’s sake, contact Clark Carr with your story. If he responds, it would make a terrific followup comedy show here in the Bunker.

  • Truthiwant

    That 40 year case study of Narconon is pathetic.

    Any serious institute would completely reject the affirmations made by Narconon as incomplete, of no scientific value and puerile.

    However, it could be useful to the lawyers that are helping victims of Narconon to show the Judge the level of competence and credibility of this organization.

  • FistOfXenu

    “GOES on the offensive”? When has NarCONon been anything else? It lies and claims it does drug rehab, it cons and defrauds the people it takes in with its lies and when people die because NarCONon wouldn’t be a safe place to leave your dog they blame their victims. They’ll be offensive til the day the last NarCONon hole is shut down and the last NarCONon criminal is jailed.

    Tick tock Davey, NarCONon is your mess too.

    • anonymous

      FoX you nailed it.

  • Tone

    Scamology telling fibs?

    I_am_shocked.

  • mirele

    Narconon was my first introduction to Scientology on the Internet, and I believe it was 20 years ago now. Back in the day, before the OT docs were posted (and the OT docs were a game changer), the denizens of alt.religion.scientology were trying to figure out if there was any truth to the “studies” about Narconon. There was a guy in Finland who spent a lot of time trying to track down footnoted items in papers allegedly supporting NN, trying to find out more about NN Chilocco’s accreditation, etc., etc. It caught my attention–someone trying to run a scuzzy, scammy drug rehab–and I was hooked. *sigh* it’s so much better now.

  • SP ‘Onage

    Clark Carr: That’s The Best scientology’s STINK TANK could come up with? Hahahahaha…what a bunch of boLOLgna!

    • Missionary Kid

      To quote Bugs Bunny, “What a bunch of Marooons.”

  • Michael Leonard Tilse

    With this publicity the question “what else has Scientology lied about?” becomes one the Scientology celebrity can no longer ignore.

    • Missionary Kid

      But haven’t they been taught to ignore any entheta?

      • Michael Leonard Tilse

        Yes. But in many cases they parroted these stats as endorsements. It is not ‘over there’, it goes to impugn what integrity they feel they have.

        • Missionary Kid

          Yeah, I guess if you repeat a lite often enough, it becomes yours. Then you must defend it.

  • F_Randy_Hullabaloo

    Issuing such “studies” is one of the oldest PR tricks in the book. The Tobacco Institute is perhaps one of the most famous for this sort of song and dance act. Today, the same sort of thing is being done by global warming denialists. One of the best books on the overall topic of creating an atmosphere suggesting there are “two sides” or “scientific doubt” on the subject of global warming is “Merchants of Doubt” by Naomi Oreskes. Here’s a video by her which presents some of the methodology employed in this sort of “Merchants of Doubt” propaganda.

    Naomi Oreskes – Merchants of Doubt : <> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNPRgR-2o-A

    Also, worth mentioning here is the classic book on propaganda by Edward Bernays, “Propaganda.”

    In Dianetics, Hubbard frequently referred to case studies and so on which he never presented.

    I’ve not looked at the “studies” Narconon is offering here but wager that Poooks has it right about the utter fabrication of the data.

    • Snippy_X

      Thank you for these excellent links. The Naomi Oreskes YouTube is especially helpful and important.

      • F_Randy_Hullabaloo

        You’re most welcome. I’m glad you found them useful.

  • DeElizabethan

    Great exposure!

  • Spackle Motion

    By the way, for any of you “Arrested Development” fans out there in Bunkerland – there’s a “getting out of Scientology is hard” joke and an Anonymous joke in the new season.

    Like all jokes in that show, if you blink you miss it. But they are definitely there.

    • DodoTheLaser

      Nice. Thanks for the heads up, SM!
      Isn’t it available on Netflix now?

      • Spackle Motion

        All 15 new episodes are on Netflix. They released them all at once and I’m not ashamed to say that I spent most of my weekend FakeBlocking George Maharris and Michael Bluth too.

        Buster’s new hand was the highlight of the season.

        • DodoTheLaser

          Thanks. Will be binge watching.

    • Missionary Kid

      Oh, horrors! That means that nobody will buy it from Netflix, with the millions and millions of $cientologists out there, they won’t buy entheta like that. Netflix will lose all sorts of money because they won’t subscribe.

      • DodoTheLaser

        Haha! I’m pretty sure it’s in Netflix’ streaming plan though, as in watch now!

        Funny you said it about scientologists, I have some of them “under radar’s”
        who I gave my netflix password, so they can watch it too. Things we SP’s do for others..

        • aquaclara

          *hugs* to you, Dodo! Here’s some popcorn for your “under the radar” friends! You dun gooood!

          • DodoTheLaser

            Thank you, Aqua! Hugs back! 🙂

            • aquaclara

              Thanks!

    • 1subgenius

      I will watch them all, but how about a heads-up as to which episode in the meantime.

      • Spackle Motion

        They are all a blur right now. Maybe Maebe?

        • Spackle Motion

          I kid, I kid…..ostrich much?

          I believe the “getting out of Scientology is hard” joke is in the Maeby episode and the Anonymous joke is in one of the George Michael episodes.

  • Sorry I know this is off-topic but I think that this is the place to ask.

    Are there any good books about Scientology available as audio-books?

    • DodoTheLaser

      Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief
      http://www.amazon.com/dp/0385393040/ref=tmm_abk_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=&qid=

      • I mean books like Bear Faced Messiah or A Piece of Blue Sky not Dianetics.

        • DodoTheLaser

          Gotcha. I edited my reply. Sorry.

          • NP Dodo, I wan’t really clear in my wording of that post.

            • DodoTheLaser

              Thanks, Otto. Hope you will find “Going Clear..” audio/book by Mr. Wright helpful.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          You don’t like humor books?

          • Sure I do, but not a the expense of melting my brain, as far as I know i only have one of those.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Besides, If you listen to it while driving you could cause an accident.

            • Hehe, you’re right. Good thing i don’t have a drivers license then.

            • Pinkhammer

              But then you’d be the only one who could help so it would all work out!

            • Good Job Pinkhammer, you made me lol irl ^^

        • aquaclara

          I just googled both of these titles with “audiobook” and see both show up. Happy reading!

      • DodoTheLaser

        Downey doesn’t like Going Clear book…
        Help me sexy RTC!

    • aquaclara

      Jenna Miscavige Hill’s “Beyond Belief” is also available through Amazon on an audio. Some libraries may have it, too.

  • whingeybingey

    Well lucky he’s already a comedian because Scientology just shot his credibility right up the arse.

    • DodoTheLaser

      Bahaha!!! Good one, WingiBingi!

      “I always wanted to be a comedian, but was afraid people will laugh at me”.

      • aquaclara

        I love that we are all laughing out loud at the same things! God bless our families that are not reading along with us!

  • BuryTheNuts2

    BLOW DOWNEY BLOW

    • DodoTheLaser

      BLOW DOWNEY BLOW!

      • BuryTheNuts2

        I just realized we sound like an advertisement for dryer sheets!

        • DodoTheLaser

          Hahahahaa!

        • PreferToBeAnon2

          either that or Downey is one happy fella

    • FistOfXenu

      This is a public service announcement for the benefit of our down voting $cientologist.

      Sec-checks are mental abuse. YOU DON’T HAVE TO COOPERATE.
      A through E is a manipulative mind game. YOU CAN STOP PLAYING.

      If there were any real OT powers you wouldn’t have to come here and down vote.

      Routing out isn’t necessary – nothing bad will happen if you walk away.
      People out here won’t hurt you. We’re here to help.
      You’ll find more real love and care from us out here than you’re finding in $cientology where you have to be afraid of everybody.

      Thanks.

  • DodoTheLaser

    Second shift down voter is early in this week.
    Fighting a good fight, noble warrior of the mouse clicking!

    • What’s with the random down voting, do the Sci-bots think all the comments will disappear if the down vote enough or what?

      • DodoTheLaser

        Something like that. It supposed to shake our morale and show the rest of the blogosphere that not everyone is agree. Or something. We love it here though, it’s amuses these cats to no end. 🙂

        Welcome to The Bunker, Otto!

        • Bella Legosi

          Yes, the Nobel Mouse Clicking Warrior really shows us how dissent is truly done!
          *lightbulb*
          My lil bro has a copy of Battlefield Earth. I am considering burning a page at a time from that book for each downvote I get, just to honor this religious crusader!

          • It would take some massive entheta to get through all those pages!

        • Thank you for the welcome Dodo.

      • Missionary Kid

        If you get one, consider it a badge of honor.

        Whoever it is, is too chicken to come out and face us, or else they’re under strict orders to somehow spread entheta, which I’ll take any time, since I believe nothing LRH said, unless I get independent confirmation from a non-$cio source.

        Welcome to the bunker!

        If you go to Xenu.net, you can download for reading Barefaced Messiah.

        • Thanks Missionary Kid, for the welcome and the link.

          • Missionary Kid

            You’re welcome. The people here are a bunch of smartasses, but their hearts are in the right place.

            I was never “in,” but I identify with people who have been. I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian environment, and it took me a long time to move out of that. It was never vicious like Co$, but there was a lot of peer pressure in the group to think a particular way.

            Xenu.net was the first real place to get information about $cientology, and, while some of the resources cited are no longer available, it’s a good place to start.

            I knew about Dianutty and $cientology for a long time, since my oldest sister got involved in the late 50s, then rejected it. I’d pretty much ignored it until I came upon Barefaced Messiah. Jon Atack’s book is also available online, but it’s an older version. I’m going to order it, because I think he deserves any royalties.

            I just finished Luke Catton’s book about his experience with Co$ and NarCONon. Take a look at his website: http://www.lucascatton.com/ It’s a very personal account. I bought it through him so he’d get more of the revenue.

      • aquaclara

        Oh, yes. We sometimes send them notes to let them know LRH was not infallible, the outside world is great, tell them to feel feel free to blow, and that they won’t be responsible for the freeloader debt.
        Down arrow person has been known to down arrow items that are even complimentary to COB or TC, birthday cakes and other good things.
        Enjoy the ^ if it arrives. It is usually before Thursday at 2.

        • Really, down voting birthday cakes? To quote a Russian literary scholar:

          “It Tiny Baby Coward!”*

          *Yes, Heavy Weapons Guy from TF2 has a degree is Russian literature.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        What’s with the random down voting? I think it shows a fundamental lack of understanding of how these things work. It is also born of a sense of frustration and impotence.

        The CoS is so insular– they are smugly assured that they alone are right, any who disagree with them are wrong, and that criticism of LRH and his spawn will FAIL. But here we are, disagreeing up a storm, merrily offering criticism, and enjoying full, rich lives. It’s an affront.

        So mindlessly down voting is little more than a sop. But if it means that some poor, deluded individual actually reads just one bit of truth every day, well, that’s a WIN in my book.

  • DodoTheLaser

    The Soundtrack:
    (No offence to the kind religious people or honest politicians.)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAhGeIZW7BM

    I am the one, orgasmatron the outstretched grasping hand
    My image is of agony, my servants rape the land
    Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain
    Two thousand years of misery of torture in my name
    Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law
    My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore

    I twist the truth, I rule the world, my crown is called deceit
    I am the emperor of lies, you grovel at my feet
    I rob you and I slaughter you, your downfall is my gain
    And still you play the sycophant and revel in my pain
    And all my promises are lies, all my love is hate
    I am the politician and I decide your fate

    I march before a martyred world, an army for the fight
    I speak of great heroic days, of victory and might
    I hold a banner drenched in blood, I urge you to be brave
    I lead you to your destiny, I lead you to your grave
    Your bones will build my palace, your eyes will stud my crown
    For I am Mars, the God of war and I will cut you down

    MOTORHEAD – ORGASMATRON

    • Missionary Kid

      Wrong title.
      Should be LRH – Dianutty.

  • DodoTheLaser

    Because it’s worth repeating:

    Narconon Proves Their Own Claims are Fraudulent
    http://www.haveyoutoldall.com/narconon-proves-their-own-claims-fraudulent/

  • Michael Leonard Tilse

    Scientology: “sci” – from the Latin scire, meaning “know; “o” – from the Latin, meaning “against; and “logos”, from the Greek, meaning “logic”. So, taken together it means “Knowing against logic”. Heh.

    • DodoTheLaser

      Scientology—from the Greek words logia (the study of) and sciento (getting money from celebrities):

      http://blogtown.portlandmercury.com/BlogtownPDX/archives/2013/05/23/scientologys-shiny-new-churchgiftshop

      My favorite:

      “Like all Scientology Outlet Malls (I was told), this one comes with a
      Ghost Office for the boss man L. Ron Hubbard. If he ever comes back from
      the dead and wants a 1st floor office, they’ve got him covered,
      complete with lots of well spaced desk toys.

      The only problem is L is gonna be pretty bored in this office. All he’s
      got to read is multiple copies of each of his books. He’s already read
      them, guys. Give him something he missed out on by being dead like Harry
      Potter or something.

      Obviously the thing they want you to pay the most attention to is
      their WAY TOO LONG FOR A MUSEUM videos about how great L Ronald and the
      Scientologosts are.”

      THE END.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        Need some registered members of the Bunker to head over to this discussion thread. There are a couple of “Scientology is no different from any other kooky religion so cut ’em some slack” comments. They need some FACTS to explain why the CoS isn’t just a bunch of harmless do-gooders who happen to believe in space opera.

        • Bella Legosi

          Trust me those who post,”Scientology is no different from any other kooky religion so cut ’em some slack” know nothing outside of the South Park episode and are too apathetic to care to be educated. This is where being too liberal sucks balls. You get these types who don’t care, because it hasn’t effected their life. Should it ever, you can bet they would be on the horn galvanizing people to listen too. This is one aspect of my city I really hate.

          • hogarthian

            I SO agree with you Bella. However, I consider myself to be, indeed I AM, well read, well informed, curious, engaged with the world around me, and am off like a ferret up a drainpipe when I happen upon something ‘shifty’…… yet I didn’t know anything about Sci until a few months ago. It happens. There are so many human rights abuses in the world, and only so many hours, I suppose?

            • Bella Legosi

              Why thank you! No need to apologize Hog! You are here and reading and learning! That is the most anyone can really hope for. Unless the Cult opens an Idle mOrg near you, then you MUST go down there and take pictures and educate those who were clearly NOT invited!

              🙂

      • Missionary Kid

        It’d be better if they spent their money on the other Ronald — Ronald McDonald House. At least then it really would be for the greater good.

      • Missionary Kid

        Thanks, Dodo. I happened to be up there about 3 weeks before it opened. They left the shades up, and I saw the video screens & benches loaded on the carpet. I’m wondering how much foot traffic they really got when the blogger went through.

      • FistOfXenu

        Scientology – from the words sky and log, that were connected into a sentence during 1 of LRH’s drug fuelled hallucinations to mean “intimidate suckers by logging every thing you can make them tell you about themselves while you sell them blue sky”.

        I guess that’s why Atack used that for a title.

        • Bella Legosi

          I have been seeing “A Patch of Blue” advertised on TCM lately. Haven’t caught it yet and haven’t seen it yet, but I was wondering if that title was in Atack’s mind when he named his book. Like I said I haven’t seen the movie yet, but when I see it advertised I do think Atack lol

          • FistOfXenu

            What I said before was meant as part of my joke. He quotes in the very front of his book that it was from something 1 of LRH’s associates remembered him saying back in the 50s.

    • 0tessa

      It is funny, though not exactly scientific.

  • jensting

    Yay! for Patty. Booh! for Clark Carr…

    Makes you wonder what they’re up to with the “Ideal narconon” centers they’re planning to open, the one near Copenhagen (titled “European Ideal narconon”) being discussed at http://forum.reachingforthetippingpoint.net/index.php?topic=12477.0

    • Missionary Kid

      I hope the Danish authorities have been contacted.

  • Sidney18511

    Was tony kidnapped and taken to target 2? Today is Tuesday and I can’t even pull this up on my iPad.
    I am going through serious withdrawls.

    • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

      I am catching up on comments previously missed … not a complete cure … but more effective than saunas and niacin.

      • I hope you don’t have anything against saunas in general mr Xenu or you will have have a lot of knife waving norther Europeans out for your blood/what-ever. ;P

        • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

          I’m evil … not stupid.

          Saunas play a long role in the history of my people. A traditional activity growing up was to enter a sauna, get it as hot and suffocating as possible, and (just when you started to experience Incident I) bolt out the door to a nearby lake and jump in to expunge all your body thetans. This was particularly enjoyable during the cold season when the lake was frozen and the water temperature was in the 50 degree range.

          I think the Scandinavians were the only ones to ever fully figure this out.

          • Bella Legosi

            My cousin who worked American Embassy detail in Moscow, went to a spa and did exactly what you mentioned! He said he would only do it once, but it was an experience. After the sauna and jump in a frozen pond, they went back in for vodka and back massage!

            I would say you european’s! But, Alaska has pretty much the same thing! So I am gonna keep quiet on that! 🙂

            • Douglas D. Douglas

              What, no brisk floggings with birch switches?

            • Missionary Kid

              It’s not a flogging. It’s more of a very light smacking to supposedly stimulate the blood flow under the skin. Done right, not even any marks are left.

            • Douglas D. Douglas

              That’s what she said. (She being in charge of discipline at the SO.)

            • Missionary Kid

              I figured you’d like it that way, but that’s not the way the Scandahoovians do it. 😉

            • Bella Legosi

              Nope, but that is how freshman were hazed at the high school I went to in Alaska. Not exaggerating and being for real serious. It was only for boys, girls got the option of being dumped head first into a trash can or pelted with hard snow balls for 60 sec by no less then 10 people. Bella choose the snowball and some asshole included a rock in said snowball, to which Bella caught with her eyeball. That sucked most balls. But, I was a trooper and didn’t rat or cry!

    • q-bird

      same here Sid X,LofK. They say, patience is a virtue. In the meantime – plenty to review.

    • ze moo

      You and I have been spoiled by the huge number of stories on the Bunker. Some days nothing happens in CO$ universe…..

  • ze moo

    http://www.harvardlawreview.org/media/pdf/vol126_headley_v_church_of_scientology.pdf

    The Harvard Law Review takes on Claire Headleys vs CO$. The court is lambasted for not ruling on the Trafficking Victims Protection Act issues.

    • aquaclara

      This was a great find. I wonder if it gives the Headleys room to appeal?

  • Dean Fox

    Narconon (aka church of scientology) is also behind a multi-marathon race being run in the UK at present, marathon for drug free UK of all things. They’re promoting the usual pulp anti-drug booklets produced by Narconon and they’re doing seminars and, needless to say, collecting money for their cause (aka the church of scientology).

  • Observer

    Hmmm … is Tony taking a well-deserved day off, or is there a big story brewing?

    • Bella Legosi

      I was thinking the same thing!

      Side note………I don’t know if it is just my computer acting up, but when I go to type in the url addy in my browser, it comes up Database Error. I had to get on here from a google search link. Errrr sometimes I hate my pornbox!

      • aquaclara

        I see this page on my IPad but get an error message on my desktop. Is everyone having trouble? If so, sounds like the site might be “in the shop.”

      • hogarthian

        I can’t access this site directly today…. I need to be crafty and google search first. Strange.

        • Bella Legosi

          Same thing was happening to me earlier. I thought it was just on my end, but it’s looking as though it happens to others occasionally too.

      • Observer

        I get that database error message a lot. It eventually clears.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        So weird, It’s working perfectly for me. And my wife is busy using up bandwidth with NetFlix.

        Maybe Disqus is set up like “The Monsters are Due on Maple Street,” and is intended to turn us against each other…

    • Maybe he is hibernating? I hear that is something that Super-SPs do from time to time, that are like dragons that way.

  • Douglas D. Douglas

    Well, here’s something to chew over, anyway:
    Sex-abuse investigations rip open Catholic Church’s secret files
    http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-church-secret-files-20130528,0,1511948.story

    Excerpts:
    “Since the time of the Enlightenment, the Catholic Church has maintained two sets of records: one for the mundane and a second “secret archive” for matters of a sensitive nature. The cache — known as sub secreto files, Canon 489 files, confidential files or C-files — was to be kept under lock and key, only for the eyes of the bishop and his trusted few.

    After the files became known to prosecutors and plaintiff’s lawyers, the American justice system has pried open the doors to an archive long kept sealed.

    Few outside the innermost circles of the church knew of the trove’s existence until the late 1980s, when Minneapolis attorney Jeff Anderson received a tip from a priest that evidence of molestation was probably sitting somewhere within the local diocese. Anderson and other victims’ lawyers subpoenaed the secret files. Church lawyers resisted, arguing that forcing the church to disclose the files was an infringement of its right to religious freedom.

    It doesn’t matter “whether the church gives a file a particular name,” judges ruled in one 1988 Pennsylvania case, ordering the disclosure of the file of a priest who allegedly molested a “mildly retarded” boy for nearly a decade.

    When claims of molestation by priests flooded into the L.A. Archdiocese after the sex-abuse scandal erupted in 2002, church leaders’ reaction was to reach for each priest’s C-file…

    Within months, the district attorney obtained grand jury subpoenas demanding the archdiocese hand over the confidential files. The church fought prosecutors to the U.S. Supreme Court but ultimately lost.”

    There is also this telling comment, at the end of the article. It would explain why the CoS likely has all the Auditing files stashed away:

    “Nicholas Cafardi, a canon law professor and former general counsel with the Diocese of Pittsburgh, said that although “secret archives” may sound nefarious, they were like any other church records dating back to the Gospels.”

    The church expects to be here forever,” he said. “They never know when they’re going to need it.””

  • Douglas D. Douglas

    And in the Gleefully Joking and Degrading Dept., the weekend domestic box office figures are in. Fast & Furious 6 topped the charts with $96.8 million. Compare that with the current SIX WEEK TOTAL for Oblivion: $87.3 million. And just to rub it in (and when we rub it in, we really like to rub it in), Iron Man 3, in just four weeks, is at $367.3 million.

    Now some of TC’s supporters contend that it is unfair to use just domestic box office figures– that TC is, after all, the BIGGEST STAR IN THE WORLD. So, to be fair, here are the figures for worldwide, lifetime gross through May 27:
    Fast & Furious 6: $317,019,000 (in less than one week)
    Iron Man 3: $1,147,234,000 (four weeks)
    Oblivion: $267,058,000 (six weeks)

    But that Tom Cruise– he’s the biggest star in America AND the world! Now, if only everyone else would figure that out…

    • John P.

      Great job! We in Global Capitalism HQ love us a debunking job that crushes opponents with numbers and brutal take-no-prisoners snark. Bravo!

    • ze moo

      Jack Reacheraround has gone to DVD, that is on the quick side for a movie that came out in December. how long til it’s in the bargain bin for $2.00?? Perhaps next to Battlefield Earth??

      • FistOfXenu

        Battlefield Earth isn’t for sale even in bargain bins. They can’t even give it away. They do raids in the middle of the night, stuffing BE into people’s mailboxes.

    • Clearly DnD-nerds* are better for blockbusters then $ci€ntologists, keep that in mind Globla Capitalism HQ.

      *Vin Diesel is a massive DnD nerd. You ever wonder why there where things called Elementals in the second Riddick move? Well now you know, and knowing is half the hassle.

  • Karen715

    Tony has a new post up, which for some reason I can’t get to through the Bunker Home Page, only through a link on his Twitter: http://tonyortega.org/2013/05/28/scientology-gets-emotional-claire-headley-on-the-tone-scale/