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Scientology Sunday Funnies: Baby We’re Amazed!

BabySmallWe’re still reeling here over Friday’s news that Scientology’s drug rehab center in Atlanta — Narconon Georgia — was raided by police in an insurance fraud investigation.

As we’ve been reporting in some depth over the last year, every step of Narconon’s business plan is steeped in deceptions, all of which is designed to send money up the line and ultimately to Scientology itself. The raid may have been prompted by a single instance of allegedly fraudulent insurance billing, but we’re salivating over the thought of so many documents being seized that a U-Haul trailer had to be brought in to carry it all away. If you’re familiar with the backstory, you know that it took attorney Jeff Harris years to get extremely damaging information out of that facility. Now state investigators have a truckload of the stuff. As Mike Rinder pointed out on Friday evening, this is turning into Scientology leader David Miscavige’s worst nightmare.

However, it may be quite a while before we learn what was in those documents. And in the meantime, we have another set of mailers and fliers that our tipsters sent to us for this week’s Sunday Funnies. So let’s dig in!

Those wacky folks over at the Mace-Kingsley Center in Clearwater, Florida are at it again, trying to get their hands on your infant for some pint-sized engram removal! The address side of this postcard should be familiar to our readers…

 
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…but the other side has a cheery new message we knew you’d want to see. Get this kid on the cans!

 
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Just a few years later, your offspring will be under intense pressure to join staff! But why resist it when your abilities as a thetan will grow exponentially!

 
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We were happy to see this next mailer, if only to confirm that the Ron Series encyclopedia is still being sent out to opinion leaders who desperately need to read about Ron’s experiences as a great humanitarian. And we liked this photo of Ron, which we don’t think we’ve seen before…

 
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Next up is another in the series about folks working at the LA Org, in this case an alluring auditor named Johanna. When can we get in session?

 
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Now that we’ve blogged more than half of Dianetics in our weekly feature, we’re not getting the part that makes it a great guide for romance. But whatever, it’s only a come-on!

 
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And finally, we’re not sure what to think of this one. It’s put out by Michael Lewis, whose son Johnny — an actor on Sons of Anarchy — went on a rampage and killed his landlord and her cat before falling to his death last fall. Michael is an OT VIII who runs a Scientology franchise in the San Fernando Valley, but he also operates this non-profit organization that puts on an open mic night. Can someone become a “wildly enthused audience member” and report back to us about it? (Please note, folks: “Enthused” is not a word. Let the Michael Lewises of the world have it.)

 
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Thanks again to our great tipsters. Keep those mailers and fliers coming! We have some big stories brewing, and we always appreciate your suggestions.

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on April 28, 2013 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

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