We have to hand it to Scientology. The church never gives up, and it never loses faith that its front groups will someday help L. Ron Hubbard’s church spread like wildfire.
Among the stealthy efforts to spread Scientology is a slim booklet of bland life advice that Hubbard penned in 1980, when the church was mired in bad news following a 1977 FBI raid.
Since then, Scientology has felled entire forests printing and handing out copies of The Way to Happiness, which contains such stunning commandments as “take care of yourself,” and “do not murder.”
And now, the church wants to put a copy in the hands of every Eagle Scout in America.
One of our tipsters forwarded to us this appeal that was recently sent out to Scientologists, asking them to help finance an effort by a florida church executive, Geary Titus, who aims to send 81,000 copies of The Way to Happiness to the country’s top scouts.
Why Eagle Scouts? Well, as every good Scientologist knows, part of the legend of L. Ron Hubbard was that in 1924 he was made an Eagle Scout at only 13 years old — the youngest in the country, he claimed. (Thirteen is very young for an Eagle Scout, but the national office of the Boy Scouts later said it didn’t keep records in those days that would verify if Hubbard was the country’s youngest.)
More than the connection with Hubbard, the flier also tells church members that Scouting is in trouble, and needs Scientology’s help…
Scouting has been attacked and eroded by people of low moral values over the years. We want to help Geary in his great plan to give this important group a boost at a time when others want to tear it down.
Well, it is true that Scouting’s reputation has suffered from its long and rotten track record in dealing with atheists and homosexuals, and more recently there are troubling revelations about its apparent apathy about sex abuse accusations.
But have no fear! Scientology is here to rescue you, Boy Scouts of America!
And here’s that custom cover for the edition of The Way to Happiness that Eagle Scouts across the country can expect to receive soon — be prepared!
Let’s now go on to the other goofy fundraising mailers and other things our tipsters sent us for our weekly feature, Sunday Funnies. Here’s another slick invitation to advance your case at L. Ron’s former home at Saint Hill Manor in England…
Several friends of the blog also forwarded to us copies of the Johnny Lewis autopsy. By now, you may have heard the news: like a good Scientologist, the The Sons of Anarchy actor was drug-free when he went on a murderous rampage and then fell to his death. Could he have been hopped up on Dianetics when he killed his 81-year-old landlady and her cat?
Poor taste, we know. It’s true that Johnny was the son of a couple of OT VIIIs — Scientology’s highest level of spiritual enlightenment — but there are reports that Johnny himself may have been pulling away from the church before he snapped. We’d love to talk to someone who knew him who could illuminate us on that point. Here’s a page from the autopsy, which makes it sound like his death was an accident: he was trying to get away from the scene and tripped as he tried to go over a fence, landing on his head.
All his exes may live in Texas, but David Miscavige is still making an effort in the state he recently told a court he does no business in…
And finally, here’s another in that series of ads about staff members that does little to dispel the notion that Scientology is a sinking ship…
Thanks again to our great tipsters. Keep the fliers and mailers coming!
