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Is the pandemic right out of the Bible? Maybe we ought to, you know, read this thing

 
Australian fires. African locusts. Worldwide plague. Do we live in Biblical times or what? And with preachers from one end of the globe to the other squawking that the coronavirus is right out of the Bible and that we should all be preparing for the end of the world, and with many of us bored out of our minds sitting at home with the kids out of school and even a trip to the corner grocery feeling like the Apocalypse, we thought it was time to prepare properly for Armageddon.

By, you know, reading the damn thing.

The Bible, that is.

OK, let’s do this.

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Genesis 1 King James Version (KJV)

1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. 2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. 3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. 4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. 5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

Genesis 1 New International Version (NIV)

1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. 3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning — the first day.

 
Now that’s an epic opening, to be sure. The Big Guy makes his entrance right in the opening salvo, and gosh, he sure is dramatic about it, turning the light switch on like that.

Really grabs you right from the get-go, doesn’t it? It’s a grand vision, particularly for the authors, who were desert dwellers writing about 2,500 years ago.

You think you have it rough dreaming up home-cooked meals with the expired products in your pantry, just imagine living 2,500 years ago. Toilet paper hadn’t even been invented yet. Can you imagine?

So that’s our homework for today: What did people use to wipe their butts in 500 BC? What else would you miss most about the modern world if you had to live then?

 
Tomorrow: The Second Day!

 
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THE LOWDOWN is our blog for news, politics, and other subjects not related to our coverage of the Church of Scientology. If it’s our Scientology coverage you’re looking for, please use this bookmark for our latest stories.

Posted by Tony Ortega on March 26, 2020 at 12:00

 

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