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Twin terrors: Gemini horoscope for October 28

Gemini, here’s what the online gurus have for you today, October 28, 2019: You’re getting laid tonight.

Astrosage: You’re in a pissy mood and your boyfriend is coming down with something. You’re a hot mess, and you’re going to get up in someone’s grill about it today.


Cafe Astrology: You can’t make up your mind because Mars and Neptune are only 2.7 billion miles apart today.

Astrology Zodiac: Everyone hates you at work, but you obliviously are convinced you are a rock star.

Astrotwins: You’re hitting rock bottom, girl. Put down the snacks and do some yoga.

It’s hard to believe that these geniuses are all reading the same sky. None of them seem to be taking note that Hesperia and Terpsichore are both in Gemini right now, which means you need to get real about your job and your relationship. As in, dump the motherfucker already and tell your boss where he can get off. Yoga? Do some wind sprints to the bar and make it a double.

Also, consult an actual expert if you want to know what’s really going on in the universe tonight.

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