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Let’s get real: Taurus horoscope for October 27

 
Taurus, here’s what the most popular astrology websites are predicting for you today, October 27, 2019:

Horoscope.com: You’re getting a shitty email today from someone cancelling on you. Deal with it.

Astrosage: Your spouse is going to kiss you today. Take a photo to convince you it actually happened.

Astrology.com: Later today shit is hitting the fan, but consult your gut, which is expanding.

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Cafe Astrology: Something significant might happen today, but you’re impulsive so you will fuck it up.

Astrology Zodiac: Things are screwed at work, but you’re about to make everything much worse.

 
So much for those charlatans. Now, let’s get real: Taurus, here’s the real shock. When you were born, the sun was actually in the constellation Aries, not Taurus, so you’ve been living a lie and you should probably dump your boyfriend and look for a new job as well. Also, Hygiea is in Taurus right now, and that throws everything into confusion. Maybe just turn off the Internet today and go out for a long walk. It’s good for you, and the trees and things actually have a much closer connection to you than some celestial bodies you’ve probably never seen which are millions of miles away minding their own business.

Also, consult an actual expert if you want to know what’s really going on in the universe tonight.

Clear skies!

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