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Scientology Sunday Funnies: New ‘Continental’ Narconons opening soon?

Chris_Shelton_GibneyIt’s that time of the week again, when we share with you some of the Scientology communications that our great tipsters have sent us.

We also have a couple of emails that some members received. And we have a new video from Chris Shelton, as he looks forward to Alex Gibney’s documentary airing next month on HBO.

Let’s start off with the emails.

In the first, you get a glimpse of what Danny Masterson tried to deny was happening in his interview — that L. Ron Hubbard’s birthday is a big holiday for Scientology, and church members around the country are getting their travel plans and formal wear for the party in Florida.

And security is tighter than ever. This year, you’ll not only need an ID card to get in, but you need to send a head shot ahead of time so they can put it on the card. They’re taking no chances!



Subject: Save the Date – March 13th at Flag

Dear Xxxxx,

Hello. I wanted to make sure you were planning on being at Flag for the LIVE LRH Birthday event in just 5 weeks, on Saturday the 14th of March.

There will be so much happening to celebrate such an occasion. There is a full weekend of activities in store for you, starting on Friday, March 13th.

I am writing you now to ensure you save the date, book your flight, get your accommodations secured, pick your formal wear and get set up with your 2015 event admission card.

We will need a headshot photo sent to the following email address to make your event card. The email address to send your headshot to is:

We have also set up accommodations for ALL Scientologists coming from out of town, including transportation and meals. The email address for reservations is

Save this date and please spread the word to others so not a single Scientologist misses out!

Please email me back to confirm you will be joining us and what help you need to arrive for the LIVE event and weekend.


Meagan Tucker
Local Public Relations Officer FSO

In this next email, we’re told that the new set of “ideal” Narconons — which Scientology leader David Miscavige announced on New Year’s Eve, will be opening soon. To us, this feels like something of a do-over since the current Narconon network of drug rehab facilities is embroiled in so many controversies and lawsuits.



Date: Wed, 11 Feb 2015 20:11:23



TODAY – we are completing the funding of ALL Ideal Continental Narconons so they are ready to OPEN THIS MONTHS!!!!

All final parts….uniforms, materials for delivery, equipment…..!


ALL the Ideal Continental Narconons – Europe, UK, Canada, South Africa, South America, Australia, USA…) ALL OF THEM.


We just bought 2 more….and we are now going to renovate them and once they are ready their locations will be revealed :-)!!!!!

This is done to handle the planet’s NO1 ruin and the one thing that blocks anyone from going free: DRUGS!


This is possible due to YOUR donations to the IAS!

THANK YOU! Please consider another donation TODAY so we complete this massive project.

Every donation counts today – we are on a FINAL COUNT DOWN!!!!!!!

Send in your donation to (please put in comments box : “please forward this form to Nicole at St Hill)!

Thank you VERY much!

I would very much appriciate a little ack from you so I know you got this :-)!


Our tipster tells us that in briefings, some members are being told UK Narconon will open as soon as next month.

Now, here’s Chris Shelton with some words about Alex Gibney’s documentary Going Clear and what former members of the Church of Scientology should be doing about it.


And on to our weekly Sunday Funnies.

Society is taking wrong actions! Take our money!


“Find out the magic of your track which goes back almost to the beginning of time itself.”


Yves is Clear!


Dot feels very much in PT.

dot harvey-3

Fearless Leader is already scraping the bottom of the barrel on these. Will he really get to 100?


Even with the Cardones, sure is taking a while for the Miami Ideal Org to get funded.


We assume they mean Colombian.


As Mike Rinder recently pointed out at his blog, it’s rather stunning for former Scientologists to see ASHO (the American Saint Hill Organization, one of the locations at the Los Angeles base complex) focus on the “Survival Rundown” and give up on L. Ron Hubbard’s “Saint Hill Special Briefing Course,” which was the purpose for the building to begin with…

srd briefing sheet

The West US is on fire!


Sunday service. Yeah, we buy that one.

sunday service 2015-1



Johnny Lewis’s father, Michael Lewis, handing out relationship advice? That’s not creepy at all.

vday email

And finally, an item that we first put up last night. Louis Farrakhan is giving a speech in Chicago, and it’s being webcast live at the London org…


Thanks again to our great tipsters!


Bonus photos from our tipsters

These Scientologists in Buenos Aires just can’t wait any longer for their OT superpowers to appear!


Caption from Drug Free Africa: “Caldonia United FC is a very popular soccer club for juniors in Geluksdal. Today I invited my angels to the pool for a bonding session and some Drug Education. Aka Big Mama’s Boys”


Two postings from Scientology Polanco, a part of Mexico City, for Valentine’s Day…


Hey, Bunker-Brits: It’s another placement of the VM ad in a British publication. What was that about Scientology not getting away with that over there?


Scientologists are using social media more than ever. Drop us a line if you spot them posting images to Instagram or Facebook!


Posted by Tony Ortega on February 15, 2015 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of LA attorney and former church member Vance Woodward

UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer
The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ


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