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Scientology Sunday Funnies: New ‘Continental’ Narconons opening soon?

Chris_Shelton_GibneyIt’s that time of the week again, when we share with you some of the Scientology communications that our great tipsters have sent us.

We also have a couple of emails that some members received. And we have a new video from Chris Shelton, as he looks forward to Alex Gibney’s documentary airing next month on HBO.

Let’s start off with the emails.

In the first, you get a glimpse of what Danny Masterson tried to deny was happening in his interview — that L. Ron Hubbard’s birthday is a big holiday for Scientology, and church members around the country are getting their travel plans and formal wear for the party in Florida.

And security is tighter than ever. This year, you’ll not only need an ID card to get in, but you need to send a head shot ahead of time so they can put it on the card. They’re taking no chances!

 

Subject: Save the Date – March 13th at Flag

Dear Xxxxx,

Hello. I wanted to make sure you were planning on being at Flag for the LIVE LRH Birthday event in just 5 weeks, on Saturday the 14th of March.

There will be so much happening to celebrate such an occasion. There is a full weekend of activities in store for you, starting on Friday, March 13th.

I am writing you now to ensure you save the date, book your flight, get your accommodations secured, pick your formal wear and get set up with your 2015 event admission card.

We will need a headshot photo sent to the following email address to make your event card. The email address to send your headshot to is: photos@cos.flag.org.

We have also set up accommodations for ALL Scientologists coming from out of town, including transportation and meals. The email address for reservations is reservations@flagaccommodations.org.

Save this date and please spread the word to others so not a single Scientologist misses out!

Please email me back to confirm you will be joining us and what help you need to arrive for the LIVE event and weekend.

Sincerely,

Meagan Tucker
Local Public Relations Officer FSO

 
In this next email, we’re told that the new set of “ideal” Narconons — which Scientology leader David Miscavige announced on New Year’s Eve, will be opening soon. To us, this feels like something of a do-over since the current Narconon network of drug rehab facilities is embroiled in so many controversies and lawsuits.

 

Date: Wed, 11 Feb 2015 20:11:23
From: nicolef@iasadministrations.net
To:
Subject: VERY VERY HOT NARCONON NEWS:

Hello,

VERY VERY HOT NARCONON NEWS:

TODAY – we are completing the funding of ALL Ideal Continental Narconons so they are ready to OPEN THIS MONTHS!!!!

All final parts….uniforms, materials for delivery, equipment…..!

WE ARE SOOOOOOOOOO close! SOOOOOO CLOSE!!!!!!!!!

ALL the Ideal Continental Narconons – Europe, UK, Canada, South Africa, South America, Australia, USA…) ALL OF THEM.

PLUS

We just bought 2 more….and we are now going to renovate them and once they are ready their locations will be revealed :-)!!!!!

This is done to handle the planet’s NO1 ruin and the one thing that blocks anyone from going free: DRUGS!

This is possible due to YOUR donations to the IAS!

THANK YOU! Please consider another donation TODAY so we complete this massive project.

Every donation counts today – we are on a FINAL COUNT DOWN!!!!!!!

Send in your donation to www.iasmembership.org/uk (please put in comments box : “please forward this form to Nicole at St Hill)!

Thank you VERY much!

I would very much appriciate a little ack from you so I know you got this :-)!

ARC
Nicole

 
Our tipster tells us that in briefings, some members are being told UK Narconon will open as soon as next month.

 
Now, here’s Chris Shelton with some words about Alex Gibney’s documentary Going Clear and what former members of the Church of Scientology should be doing about it.

 

 
And on to our weekly Sunday Funnies.

Society is taking wrong actions! Take our money!

biedinger-pwh

 
“Find out the magic of your track which goes back almost to the beginning of time itself.”

 
bl1

 
Yves is Clear!

 
clearyves

 
Dot feels very much in PT.

 
dot harvey-3

 
Fearless Leader is already scraping the bottom of the barrel on these. Will he really get to 100?

 
hclan12o100

 
Even with the Cardones, sure is taking a while for the Miami Ideal Org to get funded.

 
idealorg-newsflash-miami119

 
We assume they mean Colombian.

 
marialarasac

 
As Mike Rinder recently pointed out at his blog, it’s rather stunning for former Scientologists to see ASHO (the American Saint Hill Organization, one of the locations at the Los Angeles base complex) focus on the “Survival Rundown” and give up on L. Ron Hubbard’s “Saint Hill Special Briefing Course,” which was the purpose for the building to begin with…

 
srd briefing sheet

 
The West US is on fire!

 
us-wus1

 
Sunday service. Yeah, we buy that one.

 
sunday service 2015-1

 
Graphs!

 
us-wus2

 
Johnny Lewis’s father, Michael Lewis, handing out relationship advice? That’s not creepy at all.

 
vday email

 
And finally, an item that we first put up last night. Louis Farrakhan is giving a speech in Chicago, and it’s being webcast live at the London org…

 
FarrakhanLondon

 
Thanks again to our great tipsters!

 
——————–

Bonus photos from our tipsters

These Scientologists in Buenos Aires just can’t wait any longer for their OT superpowers to appear!

 
SciBuenosAires1SciBuenosAires2SciBuenosAires3SciBuenosAires4

 
Caption from Drug Free Africa: “Caldonia United FC is a very popular soccer club for juniors in Geluksdal. Today I invited my angels to the pool for a bonding session and some Drug Education. Aka Big Mama’s Boys”

 
DrugFreeAfrica2

 
Two postings from Scientology Polanco, a part of Mexico City, for Valentine’s Day…

 
SciPolanco1SciPolanco2

 
Hey, Bunker-Brits: It’s another placement of the VM ad in a British publication. What was that about Scientology not getting away with that over there?

 
NewStatesman1NewStatesman2

 
Scientologists are using social media more than ever. Drop us a line if you spot them posting images to Instagram or Facebook!

 
——————–

Posted by Tony Ortega on February 15, 2015 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

Learn about Scientology with our numerous series with experts…

BLOGGING DIANETICS: We read Scientology’s founding text cover to cover with the help of LA attorney and former church member Vance Woodward

UP THE BRIDGE: Claire Headley and Bruce Hines train us as Scientologists

GETTING OUR ETHICS IN: Jefferson Hawkins explains Scientology’s system of justice

SCIENTOLOGY MYTHBUSTING: Historian Jon Atack discusses key Scientology concepts

PZ Myers reads L. Ron Hubbard’s “A History of Man” | Scientology’s Master Spies | Scientology’s Private Dancer
The Underground Bunker’s Official Theme Song | The Underground Bunker FAQ

 

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  • i-Betty

    Good grief. Chris Shelton’s call to arms has given me goosebumps. Exes, if you feel you can do it (and there is NO shame in not doing so), now is the safest time since scientology was created to speak out.

    It’s lovely hearing Chris talk about life simply being too busy and too fun to devote a whole lot of time to scientology – but I’m bloody glad he’s going to continue to make his brilliant videos.

    I wanted to add:

    THDNE – ‘Cartoons like Grant Cardone…’

    Hahahaha-Itch-Hehehehehe!

  • Artoo45

    Those images of Hombre de Murciรฉlago puzzling over three blocks and some clay made me laugh out loud. Utterly pathetic once you realize how much money these poor suckers are paying for the privilege of being laughingstocks.

  • GrandEclectus

    This young Turkish fellow wants to join Scientolgy, but can’t understand English. I referred him to a bunch of sites and vids. He’s probably pulling my leg, but just in case… He tweeted to the cult too.

    https://twitter.com/batuserin/status/567014552400035840

  • Mark

    I know Barbara Klowden told Russell Miller in Barefaced Messiah that LRH was “a considerate and gentle lover” or some such, but the thought of Tubbo offering advice to the lovelorn via Michael Lewis frankly turns my stomach (refresh with bleach and a scrubbing-brush):

    • Nat-lificent

      “Rashy Loins”

    • Simi Valley

      Canoodling with Hublard … ewwwww!

    • Bob

      Michael Lewis is a double bubble head who preys on other bubble heads.

    • Allie

      “Considerate and gentle lover” – hahahaha. Can’t imagine that in a million years. YUCK!

  • Bavarian Rage

    I’m sure this has already been said – I’ve only gotten as far as the LRH Birthday event, and haven’t gotten to the comments – but the evil angel on my shoulder is asking “what kind of pictues can we send to photos@cos.flag.org …what kind of messages to reservations@flagaccommodations.org…to enturbulate the joint?!” Anonymously of course.

    • aegerprimo

      Doug D Douglas posted some suggested headshots earlier today (Xenu, aliens, etc.)

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        I liked the idea of sending in photos of the “disappeared”.

        • Allie

          I like the way you think ๐Ÿ™‚

        • aegerprimo

          That is a good idea as well!

    • Todd Tomorrow

      I was cleaning up in my back yard earlier after my three dogs. They should have gotten that one by now!

  • Still_On_Your_Side

    If Sunday services are going to be held on a regular basis going forward, Miscavige must be very worried about Gibney and many others demanding to know why the church is tax exempt and demanding an investigation as to why the IRS caved to Miscavige’s threats. I bet that Miscavige also is going to start sending out press releases on the church’s “charitable” activities. Who knows, maybe Miscavige will have underpaid and underfed Sea Org members open a soup kitchen for the other underpaid and underfed homeless and poor.

    Of course, all of the the above is too little, too late. The demands for an investigation of the church’s tax exempt status is going to snowball after March 16.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      This is standard operating procedure for going on 60 years. Pretty safe bet it will continue until the end.

    • Betsy

      What do they DO at Sunday Services? (Besides create the illusion that they are a church…)

      • Mark Foster

        Reading something Hubbard wrote and doing ยจgroup processesยจ is the standard ยจSunday serviceยจ .

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        Bless the dildos and pray HBO goes dark.

        • Todd Tomorrow

          Does anyone know if they’ve inked a deal for Scion TV to come with my cable, bundled,phone rip- off package. Or will it strictly be for clams who run their card through a magnetic reader? Can you imagine lRh’s voice on television 24/7? I’m sure that suicides will sky rocket.

      • Todd Tomorrow

        I thought they gave up those sham services for the most part. Except on regging days. Which is everyday!

    • Allie

      I think you’re right about all of the above. He’s suddenly and desperately trying to cover his ass right now and do things to show the general public that CoS is a religion. But I believe the public is not stupid. They’ve already heard about the film , seen the stupid Superbowl ad and the various full-page newspaper ads so the public has a sense of what it’s about. And it doesn’t look positive for CoS.

  • have had hardly any sleep and am struggling coming up with a caption for my new blog post dedicated to that truly horrid poster defending Danny Masterson … this is the pic I’m going to use with added speech and/or thought bubbles… if you have any ideas let me know

    pic

    • Observer

      Hmm … how about three thought bubbles:

      Poster: Maybe now they’ll notice me!
      Masterson: Dude, I’m WAY too cool for you.
      Miscavige: These two DBs make me sick!

      • … am thinking that a thought bubble coming out from Miscavige: “suckers!”

        Danny: “with these two guarding my back a double fuck off to you all!

        Larry: “Pedos, Nazis, fuckz da lot of yaz, derp, fuck the jews, I love Ron and COB” [this will make a bit more sense once you read the blog]

        • Observer

          So he’s anti-Semitic too? What a prince of a guy!

          • he rants against the Nazis, jews, Obama and especially big pharma

            • Observer

              What a nutjob.

            • 1subgenius

              He looks like Ted Nugent.
              It seems like when someone is wrong, they go “all in”, and are wrong about everything.
              It’s a brain thing.

            • Todd Tomorrow

              Tick

  • Bavarian Rage

    A little word clearing/study tech in action courtesy of VERY VERY HOT Nicole of IAS, UK:

    “I would very much *appriciate a little ack* from you so I know you got this :-)!”

    • Still_On_Your_Side

      To my knowledge, this is the only way the word “ack” is used.

  • Douglas D. Douglas

    I still can’t get over the idea that Michael Lewis is still considered a viable speaker after… well… you know what happened with his son. If he had anything to offer that was practical, maybe I could wrap my head around it, As it is, this is all I could think of when I saw this tender moment in silhouette:

    • Bob

      Michael Lewis is an oblivious twit with a shrew for a wife. No wonder Johnny went crazy. What a sham.

    • beauty for ashes

      BWaaahaaa! I think I might frame this!

  • Juicer77

    It is possible that the Co$ organizers believe the photo ID cards will prevent tipsters from smuggling out photos/video/information? Unless I’m mistaken, the tipsters are folks still in – at least in name, if not actively participating or donating. What good will verifying their faces do? Or have outsiders been infiltrating these events by borrowing names of actual members? With the shrinking pool of $cilons it should be easy to spot the new face of an infiltrator. Let me know if I’m way off here.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      I’d guess keeping the process servers out.

      • Frodis73

        Exactly. It has more to do with keeping people out (like process servers, journalists, SP’s) that anything else.

    • RMycroft

      For the longest time, alt.religion.scientology used to get fresh event reports posted from someone who was still in, but. It took CoS years to track her down and declare her.

      • Bob
  • Super Power Wog

    ** RED X +โ€“+** RED X ** +โ€“+ RED X**

    Good Morning/Afternoon Birds,

    Please see the stats and other information at WWP: https://whyweprotest.net/threads/taking-down-co-on-craigslist-co-ads-on-craigslist.113779/page-118#post-2514616
    (including :how to complain to CL about spamming and other misbehavior by co$)

    RedX write up : https://whyweprotest.net/threads/taking-down-co-on-craigslist-co-ads-on-craigslist.113779/page-117#post-2494321
    RedX spreadsheet:https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1-Kvg78kCcvo5gL7UfPcmhmbsagTNtdj0y2LAiHVFrCU/pubhtml

    FREELOADER Debt is ILLEGAL and CANโ€™T BE ENFORCED.
    DONโ€™T route out, BLOW, Get HELP, get OUT. CALL 1-866-XSEAORG

    Thank you AP

    • Eileen

      Boston posted about 15 of their stinky valentines yesterday, Hartford CT has emerged with about 15 ads posted yesterday. The older Boston ads have been flagged for removal.
      JJ: the word is that you are a hard working guy, you can do so much better than running headfirst into a brick wall everyday.

  • Lurkness

    It often been said that a good way to help break the hold of Scientology is to bring up LRH policy violations (out points) to get those still in thinking. Mike Rinder had a very good and short one about closing/combining orgs that will fit on a business card that can be handed out. What should go on the other side of the card that will impact the most? A quote about no fundraising?

    This was from Mike today–green on green, until DM has it pulled:

    HUBBARD COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE
    Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex

    HCO POLICY LETTER OF

    7 APRIL 1969

    ORG REDUCTION OR ERADICATION

    It is an act of Treason to reduce, combine or close an org.

    L. RON HUBBARD

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      The Basic Basic Why: By official count, there are only 40,000 active scientologists world wide.

      The doubts members secretly have by now will be many, but varied. This will blow All their false information and their mysteries and doubts out of the water with one full swoop. Even if they don’t believe it and don’t want to research it, they now will have only One doubt left, and that’s about the numbers. I can tell you that the true facts about the numbers explains Everything to a scientologist, especially staff.

    • Chee Chalker

      1 800 XSEA ORG should be on the reverse. (That’s the right number right?)

  • First Last

    to all bunkeriets … PLEASE follow the link and do a survey on Clearwater ….

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ClearwaterCS

    • sookiesookie

      Filling it out now. I need help with the following: What immediately comes to mind when you think of the following communities? Safety Harbor, Largo, Tarpon Springs, Pinellas Park, Seminole, New Port Richey, Dunedin, Palm Harbor. (one or two words for each)

    • Mark

      Done (with plenty to chew on about how the cult has killed off downtown!)

    • Kittery

      Thanks for the link, that was fun.

    • SNAFU

      Done.

      In answer to question 18, “In your opinion, what makes Clearwater unique, distinct, or special compared to the communities mentioned in the previous question?” I replied: as former Clearwater Mayor Gabe Cazares’ said about Scientology’s monstrous Super Power building, Clearwater’s downtown now has โ€œthe biggest brainwashing factory in the worldโ€, but that’s that’s hardly a selling point now is it?

    • Bob

      Done

  • richelieu jr

    Ye Gods8 I don’t wann know what Shrek is going to do the Wonder (if it’s a) Woman there!

    And nice to see Batman clay-modeling “Low-T vs Overcompensation” there!

  • Tony Ortega

    Photos added from Africa and Mexico to the post

  • Ben Franklin

    CoS have a big self destruct button labeled Disconnection. More people being declared suppressive persons may lead to a quicker demise of the church. It may be bit easier to disconnect from 8 people than it is to disconnect from 100 people

  • Basketballjane

    I love the email about LRH’s birthday. They will handle everything. Your meals. Your transportation. So if you book with them you are paying out the ass to be trapped on the base with no way of leaving when you want. You will have photo ID to make sure you are legit, harkening us back to the glory days of the Nazi empire and the origin of “show me your papers”. I would not be surprised if they cut the cable to all the TVs and faked a national attack or something to keep everyone sheltered in place to prevent them from watching the Alex Gibney Going Clear movie. They could get a device to block cell signals and create a real situation of fear and panic and just keep them there for a good long while. We used to drill for Y2K at PAC. We had rations and beds and all that in the basement. We were ready for the apocalypse. And I am sure FLAG is just as armed to the teeth as PAC is. So buyer beware if you are headed to the Mecca for that weekend. This could be a potential Waco part Deux.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      I have wondered myself, seeing how they’ve gone all Defcon a month before airing, if Miscavige is going to play the end of the world card, or the “terrorists everywhere” card, or something equally as mentally dangerous to people who are already so damaged. It won’t take much to tip them over to full mental jackets. The nuclear end of the world was “forewarned” to get us all in the Sea Org on the Purif as lab rats, and then later as part of the “grab a minister’s collar – the SP’s are coming for inspection”. lordy.

      Once the media starts really digging in the trenches, and scientologists are met with their own questions – hopefully from non sci family and friends concerned about their welfare – it’s going to burst the dam open, that’s for sure. I just wonder what kind of trap Miscavige will have constructed waiting to ensnare them as they fall out. The ones at the top serving that sociopath are of the fanatical bent – the rest are too far gone in every way to worry they’ll be there to assist in whatever diabolical plan he is scheming.

      Flag especially is going to be on lockdown. L.A. – already seems deserted. I spoke 2 years ago about ASHO being non existent – the number of people on the Briefing Course even then – not graduates, just on the course, I knew that ASHO was dead. And the renovations ASHO and AO at the same time, shut down. What? Of course it’s dead. Then a while back the BC was “suspended”. No surprise to me. Now it’s offiically declared dead – so everyone can see it. L.A. and Flag will the best last to go. I just hope no one else has to leave on a gurney or in a straitjacket.

      • Basketballjane

        Yeah, They are amped for just such an occasion. I think the launching of the KCET studios will be the final move to make mass hysteria happen. They will order all Scientologists to ONLY watch that channel for everything. News, entertainment and maybe even a cooking show. Everybody LOVES fucking cooking shows. But they will funnel the information down even more. The next step would be for them to issue an “app” for their phones and computers that would be a trojan horse virus that would monitor in real time everything they did on their phones and computers so the church could immediately see what sites they were visiting and who they were talking and texting to. This of course will come from the brilliant minds at Panda or Diskeeper or what ever the fuck Craig Jensen’s company is called now. But they have a few hackers in the fold that could pull it off, Arwen Dayton being one. It will be billed of course as a speed up and self cleaning app for their devices, and knowing the church they will even charge for it. Once they have people on total media and internet lockdown they will call them all in for “THE BIG EVENT” with “THE NEWS YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR” in and that is when the shit will hit the fan. They will just keep everyone there. It will take place at FLAG because that is the only location big enough with enough rooms to not call attention to that many people being in one place. PAC doesn’t have the space and neither does any other big org. And it will come down to the few left that are just crazy enough to stand on the roof with an AK47 (like they did after 9/11 at PAC) to make sure Scientology stays safe for all time. The “secret” locations that hold the platinum plate versions of the tech will hunker down and wait of course for the world to end and LRH to come back to give them orders. But I see them all going down in a blaze of unglory in some half assed shoot out with the government. Meanwhile in the bahamas, DM will be sipping a fruity cocktail bathing in his piles of the sheeples money while Rome burns. Unless we can get him jailed and give back the money. THAT would be a great ending to this crazy fucked up story.

        • Eclipse-girl

          This is off topic.
          I wanted to thank you for telling your story at the Paper Mag story about Danny Masterson.
          You were very courageous, IMHO

          • Basketballjane

            Thank you for that. I want people to know how dangerous they are. They drive people to suicide. They almost got me, but like Samuel L Jackson says in “The Long Kiss Goodnight” “CAN’T KILL ME MOTHER FUCKERS!!!”

            • Eclipse-girl

              Have you read Nancy Many’s My Billion Year Contract?
              She also was broken by scientology.

              I think this part of the SO needs to be publicized.

              ETA : Only after I posted, I realized that could be really bad for someone who went through what you did.

            • Mark Foster

              AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Juicer77

        Just my two cents, but I don’t think Miscavige even cares enough to gather the clams together or try to rally the cause. Too much effort for something he cares nothing about. He’ll stash away as much cash as he can in offshore accounts and hotfoot it to the nearest nation without an extradition treaty. He has never cared a fig for $cientology, or $cientologists.

  • Simi Valley

    So lately when I’ve had nothing better to do, I’ve been checking out the pathetic tweets from Freedom Media & Ethics (@FreedomEthics). Is this like a hired hand getting paid for this? Or is it some poor shmuck yanked from the Hole? The guy can’t even post anything original; I wish I had a dollar for every time he’s tweeted that same tired photo of the supposed ex-Mrs. Rinder with the scratched-up arm. Interestingly, that dumbass has 289 followers, while his “oppterm” (the exes will love that), Free & Clear Ethics (@FreeClearEthics), already has like 1202 followers.

    • Simi Valley

      I’d be willing to bet that some of the 289 are click farmers in India getting paid to follow this tool.

      • Simi Valley

        And don’t get me started on John Alex Wood “It’s official (according to the Supreme Court): Scientology is a religion.”

        • First Last

          SV, please jump in and help out … ask others and spread the news

          https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ClearwaterCS
          https://www.facebook.com/CRCCNewsandEvents

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            Has anyone been able to determine if OSA’s PR reps, who are responsible for surveys, had input in this survey, just as they did in that economical “study”? There’s questions about the push by some to cater to “young professionals” lure them to Clearwater. That survey stinks of scientology survey “tech”. Who is going to tabulate them and has that person been vetted for any scientology connection including family or bosses, etc?

            Oh look, Here’s the Clearwater Chamber of Commerce having one of their Young Professionals meet ups – and there’s the eager Sea Org plants trying to remember what it’s like to act young and/or professional. Does this Chamber have No clues as to what life as a young Sea Org slave is like? Do they check for hidden spy cameras and recording devices? Do they know everything will be reported back to OSA, including any names they can get or contacts? Jeesh.

            http://i.imgur.com/4pJeS3J.jpg?1

            https://www.facebook.com/CRCCNewsandEvents/timeline?ref=page_internal

            • Todd Tomorrow

              What do they do all split a piece of organic, butter lettuce?

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              Taking names and notes on how to Use the chamber of commerce. It’s usually for PR and to gain influence, worm their way in, get information, and they are looking for anyone that might have money, are still breathing, and who are young and vulnerable. I noticed at their January annual gala for non profits – scientology still is not one of their non profits. heh heh. And where are the millions of scientology whales at these benefits? The organic places are where public used to eat and whole foods – to buy groceries. I don’t know if they are even allowed to eat anywhere but Flag when they’re in town, but there are those who still live in the vicinity.

        • Basketballjane

          That guy is just arrrrggggg!!!! And he uses a cute kid as his avatar and then I feel bad because I want to smack him!!

        • beauty for ashes

          There’s about eighty legitimate responses to that assertion. They’re going off like Tourette’s in my head:
          Yeah but has the supreme court ever been wrong? Haven’t we overturned previous rulings in favor of enlightenment and human progress? Oi vey Simi, I feel your pain.

          • Robert Eckert

            Wood is actually 180 degrees opposite to the truth there (what a surprise). The Supreme Court ruled that Scientology was NOT entitled to tax exemption as a religious or charitable entity (Hernandez ruling, never overturned). It was the IRS which despite having won all the way up to the Supreme Court level caved and gave a special agreement to Miscavige under mysterious circumstances.

            • beauty for ashes

              Wow Robert, that’s even stranger…..

            • Robert Eckert

              It’s always weirder than you think. What is publicly known is that Scientology was harassing the IRS with thousands of lawsuits from individual members each one challenging the denial of the tax deductions on some specious ground or another, which was costing the IRS a fortune in legal bills. Many have suspected that something else happened, that Miscavige must have developed some blackmail against the IRS Commissioner or somebody high-up, but that is only speculation.

      • Robert Eckert

        Several are critics like yourself curious to watch what they do.

        • Simi Valley

          I know, I think I followed him for like 5 minutes.

    • Ben Franklin

      If the injury was as bad as portrayed, they would show her face in the photo, but they don’t show her face which says a lot. It could be anyone’s arm.

    • GrandEclectus

      I was just doing a cursory check of followers of various accounts at Twitter. Scientology, Dianetics, L. Ron Blubber, etc. they each have about 2000 followers.
      Compare Hunger Games 3 USA and UK… JRR Tolkien, Lord of the Rings, etc. each have…I’m being technical here,… a bajillion followers.
      Considering how they’re always bragging about how many members there are, it’s a little off. Could they be lying?

      • Simi Valley

        Good one!

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        2000 consistently? That means about 5 OSA and their socks then. This is a good sign! That is a very tiny number for something this flap worthy – a Hill 1000.

        http://i.imgur.com/Lr4r59v.gif

        • GrandEclectus

          Wow, now I’m getting it! Scientology has a bajillion followers too!

  • RMycroft

    Normally the goddamn Batman has a harder time handling Clayface:
    http://www.comicmonsters.com/article_images/Batman_Horror_Villains/Clayface_Batman.jpg

  • nottrue

    ….http://youtu.be/YPvWrEU6Ljw media mayhem

    • Party Hull!

      “I’ll step up any time, and call ’em on this BS”

      Fantastic stuff

  • Are_sics

    Maria Lara is “Columbian” evidently.
    Does that mean she comes from the country next to Bulgravia?

    Does the cherch do this intentionally, so as to create MUs, yawning, inability to continue reading the ads…?

    • Ben Franklin

      Every time I hear about Bulgravia, I think of gravy train

  • Super Power Wog

    Okay so I was very irritated when I found out that NOI leader Louis Farrakhan was promoting DiaShitics to his followers. For some reason, I thought the NOI had the same beliefs as the regular Muslim population, and it was news to me that they don’t. I asked a long-time friend of mine who happens to be Muslim and here is her response (for anyone who is interested):

    “Here is the difference.

    Islam is the foundational belief of one God, an extention of the abrahamic
    traditions. Belief in the prophets( Adam, Moses, David, Jesus, etc) , belief in
    the holy books, belief in the angels, belief in the afterlife. Muslims do not
    believe that Islam was”founded” by any one being, but that God
    manifested Islam as a holistic way of life through all the prophets, however
    the prophet Muhammad came to bring the Qur’an for mankind.

    The nation of Islam was founded by a man name Fard Muhammad, he basically had a
    disciple nabbed Elijah Muhammad who popularized the movement. The NATION of
    Islam is less a religion, and more a political movement. They believes that the
    devil is a white man, God came to earth as Fard Muhammad, and it promotes black
    identity and improvement of the black community.

    Sequentially, nation of Islam can not be Islam/Muslim by its definition because
    they don’t believe in its core principle “there is no God but God”
    man can not be God and has no partners.”

    • Anonlicious

      Let me tell you about the great Mother Wheel in the sky.

    • Are_sics

      It’s also a spaceship/alien cult. So something (though really not all that much) in common with scientology.

    • Drat

      Are they only based in the US? I had never heard of NOI until it was mentioned here and over at Mike`s.

      • Super Power Wog

        Detroit, Michigan.

        • Simi Valley

          Actually it’s headquartered in Chicago, IL.
          http://www.noi.org/

          • Super Power Wog

            Correct SV-Headquartered in Chi-town Found in Motown (Detroit)

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nation_of_Islam

          • Chee Chalker

            Lucky us (Chicagoans)

            • LongtimeLurker

              Shoutout – Visited Chicago a couple of years back (I’m Australian).

              Absolutely loved it.

            • Chee Chalker

              Well my dream vacation destination is New Zealand, with Australia a very close second. I actually have 1st cousins I’ve never met who live in Brisbane (I think). Maybe it’s time for a family reunion!
              Completely OT and kind of silly, reality TV personalities Simon van Kempen and Alex McCord (Real Housewives of NYC) just moved to Australia. They’ve been posting the most amazing photos of their new home and the area. Simply gorgeous! And you can’t bear the weather……today in Chicago it is 7 degrees.

    • MaxSpaceman

      By definition, no. Yet whatever they are, they’re embracing scientology and racist Ellar Aitche has more to do with the e-meter sec checking than anything else. How to control your believers and staff better than with a mini lie detector.

      • Super Power Wog

        It also a PR move on the general public to make them believe how anyone of any religious background could use auditing to improve their life.

      • TheQueenofBulgravia

        …AND the new “bodies in the shop” resulting in $$$$$ in BOTH NON-religious cult leader’s coffers.

    • villagedianne

      When Malcolm X left NOI, he was surprised to discover that many NOI beliefs had no place in mainstream Islam. Until he went to Mecca, he was unaware that there were white people who were Islamic.

      • TheQueenofBulgravia

        Someone’s comment on CBS short clip video posted below
        “sarauniyaGH …I am obviously referring to when Malcolm was part of the NOI. All that “white devil” talk Malcolm was preaching was the teachings of NOI. It wasn’t till he became a Sunni Muslim, returning from Mecca in 1964 that he started preaching the unity of all people, reflecting on the brotherhood of all races he observed while performing his pilgrimage.”

        NBC 1993 Malcolm X’s Wife views Farrakhan’s 2 months old rant…NOI …. a nation who “deals” with traitors.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pV-7IYq7DA

        CBS Mike Wallace, Malcolm X’s Daughter–Farrakhan Admission On Malcolm X (The Short Clip)
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfuZoJ7jopo

        CBS Mike Wallace, Malcolm X’s Daughter Exposes Farrakhan (The Extended Clip)
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVohi61DcRM&feature=email

        • Super Power Wog

          Thx for sharing!

    • TheQueenofBulgravia

      Thank You. We have saved your Friend’s excellent comment in Our NOI File. (We posted videos below on Malcolm X’s murder and Farrakhan’s involvement.)

    • D.Y.G.

      “it promotes black identity and improvement of the black community.”

      It’s way more complicated than that. This is an organized group of separatists (anti-semites and all). SPLC labels them a hate group. Read here–

      http://www.splcenter.org/get-informed/intelligence-files/groups/nation-of-islam

  • Dolly Jones

    Will Smith is currently on Top Gear. grrrrrrr…. spoiling my favourite show :'(

    • L. Wrong Hubturd

      Be my belated Valentine?

      • Dolly Jones

        of course *blush* lol

    • beauty for ashes

      I saw the commercial for that, and thought the same thing. I love BBC America, Even the shows about cars are interesting!

      • Dolly Jones

        Yeah it’s a great show. Don’t even have to like cars to enjoy it. Smith came across as OK (said begrudgingly).

        • L. Wrong Hubturd

          I tell non car geek friends that all the time. They do not believe. It’s really the chemistry btw the fellas and the high production value that makes it a special show. Chemistry, or lack of, is why Top Gear America is baaaaad.

          • Dolly Jones

            Oh yeah agreed. They win so many TV awards too. When “the hamster” had his crash they wouldn’t continue without him. They knew it was all three of them or none of them. Chemistry indeed!

          • Missionary Kid

            Top Gear America sucks.

    • Missionary Kid

      Hey, they had Tom Cruise on when he was promoting a movie with Cameron Diaz.

      • Dolly Jones

        Oh yeah I seen that episode. Even when he is trying hard to be relaxed and cool, he still comes off as a right prick.

        • LongtimeLurker

          He could drive though. I bet he had private lessons beforehand. Which is exactly what I would do if I could.

          • Dolly Jones

            Probably… given his personality type. But they all get professional training on the day and when you look at the final times it is only a matter of seconds difference between all the guests. Smith ended up third from the top on today’s show. He was second until the actress that was with him did a faster time. Ha. If I remember right didn’t Diaz do a faster time than Tom? I might have that wrong.

            • LongtimeLurker

              Yeah, but I reckon seperate from the lessons they get from The Stig, he’d have paid someone to coach him, like you said, his personality type. Maybe mocked it up in clay.

              I’m not sure how Diaz did, she might have done better because she didn’t have to tie blocks of wood to her feet to reach the peddles.

              Cheap shot. Sigh.

            • Dolly Jones

              Hahah.. You made me spit my tea out… haha. ๐Ÿ™‚

            • LongtimeLurker

              Then my work here is done.

              Is it Lipton’s?

            • Dolly Jones

              Gosh no. You can keep the Lipton’s ๐Ÿ˜‰ Tis Earl Grey. Thanks again for the laugh!

            • LongtimeLurker

              I assumed it wasn’t Lipton’s Dolly. Bunkeroos are classy.

            • ScnMonkeyNuts

              Regrettably, Cruise got a 1:44.2, Diaz a 1:45.2 (off the top of my head)

            • Dolly Jones

              Oh damn! Thanks ScnMonkey.

              Hang on there… off the top of your head? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

            • ScnMonkeyNuts

              It’s 2:15 am and I can’t be arsed to google it, so I’m having to go on fallible memory, sorry ๐Ÿ™‚

            • Dolly Jones

              If I wasn’t so gawd darn lazy I would go google it to make sure. I’m impressed if you remembered it right. ๐Ÿ˜‰

            • ScnMonkeyNuts

              Just checked (god damn autism!)… Yes it was ๐Ÿ™‚

            • Dolly Jones

              Well done… *round of applause* Monkey.

            • ScnMonkeyNuts

              Thanks Dolly. This monkey needs some shut-eye though, night-night ๐Ÿ™‚

            • Dolly Jones

              Nite and sleep well ๐Ÿ™‚

            • LongtimeLurker

              Off the top of your head?!?

            • Couch_Incident

              Well, she was weighed down by body thetans.

  • Rasha

    Buenos Aires Sooper Heroz – two words: Ab Crunches. Robin, you’re faking it. Spidey, wrinkle cream, seriously.

    …and is that a Keebler elf? The hell? “Oh, you never will believe where those sooper powerz come from…”

  • GrandEclectus

    Nothing says Scotland like Lipton Tea. Their stuff is truly from the Twilight Zone.

  • Frank Lee

    Chris, your word and your videos mean a great deal to more people than I imagine you know. Please keep up the good work and let us all hope that those still in will eventually listen to reason, logic, and set themselves free!

  • Scientology Is A Dead-End Road

    Chris, as usual you hit the nail on the head. I have had the same thoughts for a long time. We all should let the chips fall where they may, as regardless of penalties one could suffer, if we don’t realize that our feeling of Integrity is worth more than ALL possible penalties combined, then the “Church” still owns us. Your Integrity is really your most important possession. There is Nothing that can add up to being worth more than that.

    I have done extensive research on the actual situation on this planet AFTER leaving Scientology, and promise you that there are directions you can take to achieve actual freedom. Just one example for now: there is an ethical institute in Virginia where you can learn to be a spiritual traveler at night outside of your body (being “exterior”). The adventures I have read by those doing this far exceed even the best stories in “Advance” magazine. This is true. There are books to read as a gradient in that area, as well as Anything else you could imagine. Being on Earth right now, you have a 26,000-year opportunity. I do not kid.
    More later, as I’m writing a book/s.

    The above has nothing to do with Scientology, which is in fact “A Dead-End Road”.

    • Missionary Kid

      I’ve experienced exteriorization several times, and I’m a never-in. My theory is that it is physiological or psychological as a result of a partial wakeful state.

      Pull some Gs in a centrifuge or spend some time in an altitude chamber or go under or come out of anesthesia or be hypnotized. Those are all states In which I’ve experienced it, plus a few others.

      The problem with $cientology is, to me, that it’s approached in a non-scientific way. It’s a pleasant parlor trick, elevated to mysticism AFAIK. $cientology also uses it as a part of their bullshit hypnosis and money-grubbing ends, as if it is something sacred that they have the key to.

      Sorry, but IMO, there are many ways to achieve exteriorization without any institute in Virginia, or $cientology. I believe you can find much more about the phenomenon if you start reading peer-reviewed psychological and scientific papers.

      I posit that people have even killed themselves because they have made mistakes in cutting off the blood flow to the brain to induce the semiconscious state where the phenomenon occurs.

      • LongtimeLurker

        When my pug would get really excited and run in circles for 30 seconds then fall over on his side all glassy-eyed…I’m pretty sure he was exteriorizing.

        • Missionary Kid

          Did you ask him? ๐Ÿ˜‰

          • LongtimeLurker

            Yeah. And he did what he always did when I asked him questions.
            F5/Refresh

            (Example only, not my actual pug)

            • Missionary Kid

              You obviously don’t speak pug, sigh. ๐Ÿ˜‰

            • LongtimeLurker

              You may be right.

              But language was no barrier to our bromance.

            • TheQueenofBulgravia

              Half Italian, Half Pug?

            • LongtimeLurker

              I wish, Your Majesty.

              Ahhhh, to be a pug…

              Or a wombat.

        • beauty for ashes

          0H Totally, for sure Pugs have sooper powerz! F5

          • LongtimeLurker

            Pugs.

            Sigh.

      • daytoncapri

        MK – I don’t write about this, because I know it is very unpopular on this forum to do so.

        I posted this story before. Years back, I had attempted astral projection and managed to get myself (real or imagined) on the ceiling above my bed. I was frustrated, as I couldn’t go any higher, like above the roof and to the stars, etc. I was just kinda stuck there. My wife, who was asleep, suddenly woke up and said somewhat alarmed “what on you doing on the ceiling?”

        In other words, she saw it.

        You can call BS. It’s OK. I don’t expect to persuade you.

        That being said, I’m skeptical of this SasaDER post. This is hazardous stuff.

        I will agree with you in a way. I can’t prove what my wife and I experienced was real, and maybe your explanation that exteriorization is a human imagining is more true.

        THE REAL POINT: Regardless of explanation, Scientology is not needed to do it. You can go outside COS to achieve exteriorization.

        • Jgg2012

          Right. There is really nothing new about Scientology. It’s a form of hypnosis and past life regression.

        • Missionary Kid

          What the literature says is that often incidents of not only what people describe as exteriorization, and paralysis whie things like anal probes have been described occur in the semi-wakeful state.

          My personal experience has been that waking up in a darkened room or a different environment when disoriented has led my mind to create all sorts of scenarios to make sense of my perceptions.

          Remember, I’m a skeptic.

        • Erica

          I believe this is very possible. I’ve read about it often but wondering if I am the only one who has no desire to do this? It scares the heck out of me. I’m perfectly happy to wait until I die (or my body dies for that matter) to experience this.

          • Missionary Kid

            There’s no need to fear it, because it’s similar to a dream state.

          • daytoncapri

            Well, I now think it as not very useful, and potentially dangerous.

      • Scientology Is A Dead-End Road

        I have no disagreement with your views. Out-of-the-Body experiences are normal and there is no organization or other source that has any exclusive in that area, or any other for that matter.
        Hubbard was (and may still be from my experience) an Ego-Maniac. Best to steer clear like a pilot steers around a thunderstorm cloud.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist
      • Scientology Is A Dead-End Road

        I scanned this linked site. Leaving the body particularly at night is normal and is not a “disorder”.
        All children and most adults do so. Doing something useful with this takes practice and intention
        to accomplish useful contact with higher beings, who are very available at all levels.
        Being against Scientology should not equate to being pro-psychs. Some of them are good people, like Thomas Szasz who is anti-drug, as I am.

    • villagedianne

      Hubbard had no monopoly on these techniques.

      • Eclipse-girl

        why is why people must be educated and stay vigilant

    • Ben Franklin

      What you call “spiritual travel” or going “exterior” at night, I call a dream.

      • Eclipse-girl

        I don’t know about that.

        Most of the dreams that I recall are mundane.
        Occasionally i get dream when I am fly –> I do not think that is exteriorization

        Everyonce in a while a get dream about dead relative, some who died before I was born.
        Its kind of cool to imagine them.
        That is what is, my imagination.

        • TheQueenofBulgravia

          “I am fly” ….We agree! You are Awesome!!! ,,,and modest! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • SNAFU

    Another excellent video by Chris Shelton, a natural when it comes to public speaking. He makes a very persuasive argument for other exs to speak out now and strike while the iron is hot with the pending debut of Alex Gibney’s Going Clear on HBO. With over 1,000 views in a matter of hours, hopefully his message is getting through. And as Frank Lee said below, keep up the good work, Chris!

  • Ben Franklin

    Soccer is very popular in Africa and a lot of kids would not hesitate to have their photo taken holding a bunch of pamphlets if it means a chance for them to play soccer. Most of the kids in the photo may not even know anything about Scientology, all they know is someone showed up with soccer equipment, let them play and then they all posed for a photo holding some booklets.

    • Todd Tomorrow

      Robert Tilton would fly over to African countries and put his name on them with a paper sign for the photo op. Same sign, different orphanages. Hell, they could have offered these kids something to drink.

      • Ben Franklin

        It is just unbelievable how low some people can go. That is so sad.

      • Missionary Kid

        In the Wikipedia article on Tilton, that wasn’t mentioned. Are you sure that you didn’t mean another televangelist?

        I believe that the practice is common, but I want to have my facts straight.

        • Todd Tomorrow

          I’m correcting it. But Titlon did this,Too. Sawyer also did a great piece on, Tilton.

        • Todd Tomorrow

          Pinching the children to get them to cry. Lord..

          • Missionary Kid

            There’s a whole bunch of tricks those assholes use.

          • LongtimeLurker

            Wait, what? Is this a thing? With signs and child abuse? Stop the planet. I want to get off.

            • beauty for ashes

              I can’t tell you how often I feel like you do! F5

            • LongtimeLurker

              Yeah! Narnia!

              Do they accept atheists?

            • beauty for ashes

              Oh right~ Aslan and all, I can’t believe that nice lion would turn you away. Then he wouldn’t be Aslan.

            • LongtimeLurker

              You’re right.

              I like lions. What I’ll do is, I’ll worship him because lions are cool, but everyone will assume it’s because he’s a Christ allegory.

              And we’ll all get along!

        • Todd Tomorrow

          In the Tilton doc you can see them putting up the same paper sign.

        • Todd Tomorrow

          It was in a segment specifically about, Tilton. I can remember them putting the same sign up at at least three orphanges.. There is a guy(Rev.) who had done nothing but try to go after Tilton for years. He did public out reach, public television etc..He was a man of simple means and I saw a documentary on him. Sawyer, also did a piece on Tilton which is a must see. She finds the prayer letters minus the donations in the bank’s trash cans. All the bank did was remove the check and trash the rest. Included were pictures of loved ones who were ill. One little boy ask Tilton for a Daddy. He never even saw any of it. He took a long break and was last on the air in Fl. And plus, I wouldn’t shit yah, MK!

    • Todd Tomorrow
  • Super Power Wog

    ** RED X +โ€“+** RED X ** +โ€“+ RED X**

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    Please see the stats and other information at WWP: https://whyweprotest.net/threads/taking-down-co-on-craigslist-co-ads-on-craigslist.113779/page-118#post-2514616
    (including :how to complain to CL about spamming and other misbehavior by co$)

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    FREELOADER Debt is ILLEGAL and CANโ€™T BE ENFORCED.
    DONโ€™T route out, BLOW, Get HELP, get OUT. CALL 1-866-XSEAORG

    Thx Bob Kare (Refresh)

    • Nat-lificent

      This link from your list appears to be broken:
      http://alturl.com/p749b

      • Super Power Wog

        ROFL! You are such an A$$ ..I love it! Hugs for Rickrolling me.

        • Nat-lificent
          • Super Power Wog

            You got me..you got me…I’m like “oh no a broken li…mother!”

            • Nat-lificent

              Woooooo! Yeah! XD XD XD
              I was worried it was to obvious because A. you were expecting it and B. I don’t even red-x!

              I don’t think I ever rickrolled anyone who had never been rickrolled before. Hanging out with you is better than having a time machine SPW ๐Ÿ˜€

            • Super Power Wog

              I was watching another video when you posted, so it was just a reflex response to open it. Then that dam song started playing. Either way you got me. It was funny.

            • Super Power Wog

              Enjoy the Lulz while it lasts…NEVER AGAIN….hahaha!

            • Nat-lificent

              Uh huh.

  • Candy Swanson

    Really loved this video by Chris and agree: Everyone’s voice counts!

  • ScnMonkeyNuts

    Sorry for picking such a lightweight issue, but Liptons Tea-really? In 1871, the world should have given it straight back and said “You can keep it!” It tastes vile! Sorry Scotland, by my reckoning you’ve still got 89/100 to go. Good luck!

    • ScnMonkeyNuts

      (and as I understand it, the only things moRon Hubbard loved were $$$s and himself!)

    • GrandEclectus

      That has a mind worm effect. It stuck with me today. It’s s odd and random. I see from my deep research (Wikipedia). That it originated in Scotland, but…as others pointed out, it’s not what they drink.

  • Christian

    Am I the only one who reads ASHO but sees ASSHOLE?

    • Pete Griffiths

      Me too ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Eclipse-girl

      Now, after spending more than a year learning scientolog- ese,, I do not think I will ever read it the “hubbard” way in the future.

    • Robert Eckert

      I’ve never been able to read it any other way.

    • aegerprimo

      From this day on… I am seeing it that way as well!

    • TheQueenofBulgravia

      Even the Gramer Police won’t give you comeupanceness about this!

  • Pete Griffiths

    I hate to spoil the party but as L. Ron’s dad was adopted by the Hubbard family it is accurate to state that there is no Hubbard blood flowing in L Ron’s veins. L. Ron Wilson sounds so much better.

    • GrandEclectus

      You mean LRH lied!?
      His grand dad owned a quarter of Montana….oh wait, he didn’t.

    • Jgg2012

      We also wouldn’t have golf.

      • Ben Franklin

        And Kilt

    • Eclipse-girl

      To defend Hubbard Sr’s honor…
      HE WAS NOT A DOCUMENTED LIAR

      None of his friends ever spoke out against the man, though, that may have been the times.

    • Observer

      Did you ever hear anything back after reporting that Scilon claiming he was MacDonald of Clan Ranald? I’ve been wondering about that.

  • Valhalkarie

    I’m a full blooded scot and reading that flyer really burns my arse! Miscavage is like long shanks himself! Wanker!

    • Robert Eckert

      Except for the long shanks, of course.

      • Valhalkarie

        Lol,yeah,looks like he has some in his mouth,it is scary,all he needs to do is talk,I just watch his mouth move its scary in the old videos of him talking. Like marbles in there or something.

  • Super Power Wog

    O/T:I am dying from laughter here. Found this on one of the FB pages. This kid talking about getting Scientology mail.
    http://youtu.be/7fxi1Xstkgw

    • beauty for ashes

      he’s an actor, and super funny you must watch all of them he did. (Oh the columns!)

      • Super Power Wog

        Yeah? I am. I’m watching it for the 3rd time, and I cannot stop laughing.

      • Aslan’s Own

        Lots of gold, and podiums, and columns!! (I just watched all 10 of them!)

    • Allie

      He has a great sense of humor and is cute too. “Scientology loves microphones….and gold…….and flags…..and columns.” A great laugh for the day.

      • Super Power Wog

        He is Super cute! …and then he’s like “wait I thought I was done”….omg..hilarious

    • Robert Eckert

      He has no interest in learning anything about Scientology; he would rather revel in the sheer what-the-fuckery of this stuff.

    • bromo

      This was hilarious. Thanks for sharing. I needed the laugh tonight.

    • Captain MustSavage

      Is this kid likely to be in any OSA type danger as a result of this being posted here?

      • Super Power Wog

        He has been posting these videos since 2008, and this was posted on the open SP’s R Us FB page. They probably know who he is already. Not sure how he would be in danger.

        • Captain MustSavage

          Cool. Was a little concerned that a total newbie might have been in harms way, but the context you’ve given is reassuring.

          • Super Power Wog

            He should be good : ). He must be old by now.

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    ohpleasegawdno … Watching the red carpet preshow of Saturday Night Live’s 40th Anniversary Show.
    For-Tee- years. This can’t be right, right? I remember the first year, every episode. It was lightening striking in all directions at once. I kept getting the feeling culture was changing week by week. It was!
    Don’t miss this one – perfect anecdote to 40 years of scientology.

    • LongtimeLurker

      Who’s hosting?

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        God

    • aegerprimo

      I’m watching this! SNL began when I was 10 years old. My parents did not let me watch then. I remember 5 years later, staying up and watching with my mother. She would look at me to see if I understood the sexual innuendos…

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        This is going to be like Forest Gump on comedy high’s.

      • Missionary Kid

        The first time I saw it, I just happened to tune in, not knowing what I was watching, and saw Rob Rainer singing, IIRC, Blowing in the Wind like a Vegas lounge singer. It was bizarre, ar first.

        It took me a little while to catch on, but I kept watching. I can tell you exactly where I was.

    • bromo

      I too remember the first year. I was a young married woman with her first newborn. We were counterculture and loved that this show was pushing the envelope so hard. They did a SNL commercial skit and I remember Gilda Radner doing a douche one. Nothing like that was on TV at the time and it is embedded in my memory bank. I haven’t watched it in a few years as the last few times I tried I was disappointed although I am sure they do some good stuff, it just isn’t the same as it was when it first began. Glad I was able to see the beginning though, because it was a true change in TV broadcasting.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        It was a window into the real soul of a nation up to the minute. There was no cable or internet,..

        SNL was our cable and internet, it was the family we wished we had. Thats why I think it is so sentimentally attached to the hip and heart. I stopped watching last few years too, but man, whata run.

        • MadMaxi

          Back then, pre-interenet days, we watched a show and the challenge was not being too wasted to be able to remember the skits and best lines and act them out afterwards with our friends. How many of us had sudden attacks of “Here he is to save the daayyy!”; “I’m Gumby, dammit!”, “Candy gram” that had to be yelled out at completely inappropriate situations..

      • villagedianne

        I remember she did a commercial skit for JAP Jeans. JAP as in Jewish American Princess. Could they even do that now?

        • MadMaxi

          Doubt it, watching the old shows I realized how much the show is now sanitized. The older days they weren’t as afraid to bend(break) the rules.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Answer: Mom Jeans!

    • Sandy

      I have been watching too. Kinda lame, in my opinion. Wish they showed more early original sketches.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        I agree. Put my brain scan mode to “only hear the funny parts”. Its a lot of work, but there are the gems, they flash them for a full 3 seconds. That’s okay. We’re laughing so hard, we miss the bad ones. The corporation gobblers have ruined everything they touch. It’s pretty freakin ironic for this anniversary show! Damn, they have all the music legends at their beck and call, and they have Miley on?! Thats just tv suicide wishing. Jeeze,

        • MadMaxi

          My same thoughts on the Miley choice- WTF!
          EDIT to add: Then they have an extended Eddie Murphy intro and then no focused skit clips featuring him.

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            Every freakin living music legend at their disposal !!!!!

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              Ive never seen an audience like this audience ever all at the same pkace same time.

        • Sandy

          Okay – Seinfield is funny

    • stanrogers

      There is something fundamentally wrong with the world telling me that stuff that I watched “a couple of (subjective) years ago” is far older than I ever planned to get. (Apparently I wasn’t good enough for the 27 Club. Smug, self-indulgent dead illegitimate offspring of lesser animals, the lot of them.) I’m sure they’re just reading the calendar wrong.

    • Intergalactic Walrus

      Whenever you see a skit with Jon Lovitz’s character “Tommy Flanagan – the pathalogical liar” its almost like LRH is still with us…

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        Oh crap, thatis brilliantly true!

        • Intergalactic Walrus

          How did LRH overlook copyrighting “Liar’s Tech”. He “discovered” that too, you know…

  • Tony Ortega

    LONDON PHOTOS ADDED TO THE POST

  • Rasha

    re the New Statesman ad… had to laugh at the incidental reference on the opposite page, and I ain’t talking da Vinci.

    It’s like……. fate. Or karma. Or something

    • Super Power Wog

      “one tough gringo..” snicker

      • Super Power Wog

        Biker-rough-neck dude spitting out SO recruitment BS…..uuugh..this dude is a wacko

    • Intergalactic Walrus

      Sounds like that guy has a screw loose. And he talks like he has guns too – SCARY! Thanks for digging into it. Do you know what level he’s gotten to or if he’s done OTlll?

      • I’ve been told he’s an OT VIII

        • Intergalactic Walrus

          The best and the brightest… Yeesh!

      • … but then Marc Headley clarified things

        pic

        • Intergalactic Walrus

          Well if even the $cientologists try to distance themselves from you…
          But I’m sure he has a paranoid theory that it had nothing to do with him, he was just a patsy and that a Rockefeller-funded Nazi psyche was really to blame.

    • couple of small but hilarious updates added

  • Sergeant Pepper

    Mea culpa. I know I said don’t feed the trolls, yet I can’t leave Papermag alone. It appears the default sort is by social rank, but I’m bugged if a scientologist gets the last word. Forgive me.

    • Nat-lificent

      Troll Fever. Happens to most of us from time to time Kelsey Miller at R29 is mine.

      • Sergeant Pepper

        Thanks, Nat. I’ve been meaning to tell you I attended a Mardi Gras party Friday night and my Louisiana friends hid the baby (in the form of a gummi bear) in cake flavored vodka jello shots. Guess who got it!

        • Nat-lificent

          Lol. Brilliant!

    • Intergalactic Walrus

      I spent last evening reading the comments over there. OMG. Those $cientologists’ comments can be so exasperating. Congrats to all the wogs who were able to parry their crap with informative and humorous counterpoints. Well done!

    • Missionary Kid

      Don’t worry about it, Ive gotten pissed enough at trolls here, and,while I don’t turn into Espi, I do post enough entheta, consisting of facts about LRH and pointing out how they avoid sticking to the context of this blog that they get tired of posting and leave.

      I don’t mind Indies, but if they start to spout LRH love, I’ll bust them in a nanosecond.

      I point out the tactics that $cientologists use if they try to deflect questions or change the subject. As a result, I actually had one person who had started out with the tack that, “All religions are…” apologize because they didn’t want to be classified as a clam.

  • Scientology Is A Dead-End Road

    Yes Ben it is often in dream form, but does not need to be.

    • Liam

      Good to see you here, Sci is A Dead-End!!

  • LongtimeLurker

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  • How come scientology is not distributing The Way To Happiness brochures to ISIS?

    • Super Power Wog

      Boo-Yah!!!!

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      They AS IS’d.

      • Yeah. Apparently even Louis Farrakhan NOT IS’d it.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Bwaha. Ill never get that hook up.

    • … seen this?

      pic

      • I don’t want to believe it… I don’t think even ISIS would do such a heinous atrocity.

        • Super Power Wog

          I wouldn’t put anything past ISIS. They consider themselves Vampires in a “we like to drink the blood of our victims” LITERALLY. I would post a video but it is waaaay to disturbing to share.

          • But children, c’mon.

            • Super Power Wog

              That is how “sick” they are.

            • Rita Gregory

              History shows it’s been done before.

          • Super Power Wog

            **********************AREA ENTURBULATED ABOVE**************************************

            • LongtimeLurker

              Love your work. Seriously.

            • Super Power Wog

              lolol. It was on of those “you had to be there” moments.

        • had to track down the link… this is a strange site that posted it … not quite sure what to make of it but the one thing that convinced me to post it is that the photo looks pretty real and doesn’t appear to be photoshopped http://speisa.com/modules/articles/index.php/item.799/isis-hits-morality-rock-bottom-threatens-to-burn-children-alive-in-a-cage.html

        • MadMaxi

          Sadly, for the mass insanity of ISIS I can see them doing this ๐Ÿ™ This is news worthy for the world is on a slippery slope on how the world responds to ISIS and Boko Harum. Glad the Middle Eastern countries are starting to take up the fight more now. Shows the danger of cult thinking, for this is not Islam, this is perverted, malignant bastardized evil cloaked as religion.

      • Liam

        Keep that crap off the bunker, please

        • Eclipse-girl

          I sort of agree with you.

          I do not want to see that stuff. I pains me to know that humans can do that to one another.

          Personally, I do not want to be an ostrich with my head buried. as much as this is disturbing, we need to be aware.

          I found the autopsy photos of Lisa MacPherson disturbing too. I don’t post them. But I do tell people to look for them.
          It is one reason why we chose this fight.

          • Qbird

            with you in this Eclipse-girl. some FACTS are very hard to take.

        • what, so if we don’t see no evil, we hear no evil and speak no evil?; the pic isn’t “graphic”, truly disturbing yes… but you’d rather NOT not know about it?

          • Phytophile

            We can choose to go look at other news. The relevance to our discussions are reaching.

            • “our discussion”?

              as a newbie here you get a pass

            • Liam

              As a retard, you get a pass

            • Eclipse-girl

              That was uncalled for

            • where’s Espi when you need him, lol

            • Liam

              Banned for being a retard

            • Eclipse-girl

              Do we need epithets like “goat fucker?”

            • from time to time

            • Liam

              Apparently media_lush would like that

            • Ardent

              No.

            • MadMaxi

              Ahh, that term always makes me reminiscent about my old Army Drill Instructor-sniff. ๐Ÿ™‚

            • Ella Raitch

              So that’s where Espi got it from

            • MadMaxi

              IN the days before they decided the DI should be your friend, and DI’s were assigned the job and rarely volunteered for the post. It was where I learned some of the most creative uses of the English language. ๐Ÿ˜€

            • Ardent

              Just say: I ESPI you, and, well, point made! Kinda fun, like secrets of The Bunker.

            • Rita Gregory

              I like it! Maybe if we click our heels together and repeat it 3 times the trolls will go away!

            • Eclipse-girl

              DO you have ruby red shoes?

            • Rita Gregory

              I have ruby red rebok hi-tops, think that will work? ๐Ÿ™‚

            • Eclipse-girl

              They sound great.
              I would try it

            • Super Power Wog

              Yes let’s bring back Espi. I enjoyed throwing darts at him last year,and I’m in a rude mood. IESPI!!!

            • Jenny Daniels

              On Mike’s blog.

            • Rita Gregory

              Retard? Are you in junior high?

            • dude, you are so far below my ‘troll-level’ that you are even unworthy of smelling my fart-gas…. don’t take this as a complement but this will be my last comment to you [pity the ‘unworthy’ ones, ed]

            • Liam

              You, of all posters, make me give the fewest fucks

            • Eclipse-girl

              M_L, I am slightly paranoid of late. I am thinking a.r.s type type troll trying to divide.

              If possible, use Ignore tech.

            • Rita Gregory

              Yep, me too.

            • Ardent

              Hi Eclipse. If troll, where? Now I am nervous. We must stand together. My objection is not with M-L per.se. I hope he understands.

            • Liam

              She’s talking about me

            • Eclipse-girl

              I can not speak for M_L.
              I understand what you mean.
              This happened a few days with other people involved.

              As you know, there has been more troll activity since the opening Going Clear.

              I do not know everyone. The Bunker has grown large.
              When there is something odd like this I check the number of post a person has.
              Liam appears to be fairly new.

            • Super Power Wog

              I doub’t he’s a troll. I think there was just a disagreement. that’s all.

            • Eclipse-girl

              as stated earlier, I am slightly paranoid.

            • Rita Gregory

              I hope so. Time will tell.

            • Ardent

              Aye, Rita. It shall.

            • Liam

              Nothing odd with being offended by stuff M-L says. That’s typical bunker. M-L is periodically offensive.

            • Eclipse-girl

              I won’t deny that.
              M_L is a big boy and can take being scolded.

              During different sporting events, we get pages of comments about the game. Those comments are clearly not on topic.

              I saw this as news. You did not. We agree to disagree

              Telling M_L to remove is post is not your job, not mine
              Calling a Bunkerite a name isn’t called for, either

            • Liam

              I didn’t tell him to remove anything.

              And would you dare to tell Espi not to call anyone names?

            • Eclipse-girl

              you told M_L to “keep that crap off the bunker”

              I interpreted that as asking him to remove his post.

              I respect Espi. I would call him my friend. I do not know if he would call me his friend and that is OK. Espi was quite capable of having conversations without being vulgar.

            • EnthralledObserver

              Just be offended quietly… or fuck off.

            • Liam

              I didn’t start this thread

            • EnthralledObserver

              Perhaps not, but I saw your inflammatory interjection. I get tired of people thinking they own this place and trying to enforce their standards on it. Nobody makes you come here and read the comments… so if you do, be prepared to tolerate all kinds of things. (Personal attacks excepted)

            • Liam

              Inflammatory?

            • Liam

              I think the most important contribution we can make as commenters is to hasten the fall of the the evil cult. It’s not up to you to determine the perfect way to do that.

            • EnthralledObserver

              Back at you.

            • Liam

              Point taken. But still. Decency exists.

            • Phytophile

              It was a friendly request for not posting graphic images. I do not see how it’s inflammatory or a rule enforcement to make a request. It’s upsetting Imagery that lots of outlets are covering. It can be seen there. Y’all are on this guy’s case for such a small request. Talk about piling on….

            • EnthralledObserver

              I don’t know that it was all that friendly.

            • Eclipse-girl

              I have seen more graphic stuff in shoops that are done here

              The written article is graphic.

            • Phytophile

              But made up.

            • Ardent

              Ah! Yes, I get you! I have seen so many new names here. I am sure several are either ‘hatted’ to enturbulate us, or ordinary under-the-bridge trolls. Caution, indeed. And I’m not pissed at M-L. That’s just a super-upsetting image/notion.

            • Phytophile

              That’s rude.

          • Liam

            Of course I know about it. That’s insulting.

          • Ardent

            I think we all know about it, man. Time and place, though, please? I am really asking nicely.

        • Eclipse-girl

          This is Tony O’s place. HE makes the rules.

          Media_Lush has been chastised by Tony O at least once.
          If it is over the top let Tony O take care of it.

          Otherwise ignore it and move on.

          • Liam

            For good reasons

          • Phytophile

            It’s a friendly request, not a rule enforcement.

      • Ardent

        I really don’t want that image in my head. God’s teeth, how dreadful! Can you remove it, please?

        • Super Power Wog

          I don’t think he can even if he wanted to

          • Eclipse-girl

            Only Tony O can delete.

            If M-L decided to remove this, he is savvy enough to know how .

            • Super Power Wog

              gotcha

            • nope… only Tony can remove it

            • Ardent

              Well, there we are. That situation is an absolute nightmare, and frankly scares the crap out of me.

        • I’m sorry, but this is something that if I “just” read I wouldn’t have believed it… as I said while it’s truly horrifying it’s not graphic and I strongly believe pictures like this shouldn’t be censored but should be seen. My reason for posting this was that the ISIS discussion has already been introduced and I felt bringing in the latest outrageousness would be relevant and on topic… I wouldn’t have done so if I thought this picture was fake so I spent a lot of time examining it. The site itself is strange but even if it is fake I still think it newsworthy. By removing it you’re only kidding yourself that this stuff isn’t ‘really’ happening [IMO].

          Don’t take this the wrong way but by asking to have a picture like this removed is one of the worst clandestine versions of censorship out there… that’s my opinion; you’re obviously entitled to yours.

          I know it’s a simplified argument but imagine if when the first pictures of the horrors of the Nazi camps hit the press and, for the sake of argument, hit the internet first in various forums people said “I don’t want to see this” do you still think it would be wrong to remove them?

          • Ardent

            You are correct on all counts. My upset made me react viscerally. I can guess that you understand. Thanks for the reply, and I do hope I have not offended you.
            Your final paragraph is one that I particularly agree with. It would be wrong to censor the camps. Eisenhower filmed them for just that reason, essentially.

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            It’s not the place.

          • Super Power Wog

            You see what you started ML? My goodness…: )

            • Super Power Wog

              ????????????????CAN’T WE JUST ALL GET ALONG???????????????????

            • EnthralledObserver

              We certainly can if we stop trying to tell each other what to do, or what not to do unless requested. Shit, we’re all grown ups here…. or I thought we all were.

    • Eclipse-girl

      i would be worried about those Volunteer Ministers becoming kidnap and torture victims.
      then their home governments are asked to pay the ransom

      • True. May be they should ship it to ISIS. Why wouldn’t they?

        • Eclipse-girl

          If it actually worked?

          • It “worked” in Colombia, or was it Columbia?

            • Super Power Wog

              **********************AREA ENTURBULATED BELOW**************************

            • Phytophile

              I like the levity.

            • Super Power Wog

              I knew as soon as Liam made that comment that particular thread would catch on fire. Just putting up the yellow tape.

            • Super Power Wog

              I even put one below too : )

        • Super Power Wog

          That is the LAST thing we want. ISIS members joining Scientology. Gives me the Heebee Jeebies. uuugh.

        • MadMaxi

          It’s be supporting terrorist, sending them all that free toilet paper.

      • EnthralledObserver

        Do some Govts pay a ransom? Does it work out if they do? I personally don’t know of any that have paid.

        • MadMaxi

          Think it was the BBC that did a financial breakdown of where ISIS’ money was coming from as of last Oct/Nov. A large portion was made from ransoms paid either by families, corporations (the bulk of it) and they guessed some gov’ts through proxies, IIRC.

        • Eclipse-girl

          some Gov’t have. The US does not, which as hard as it sounds, I support that idea. It has been in place since before Reagan.

          Some Gov’t may have paid ransom. Not usually the amount originally requested.

    • Ardent

      Someone might get sand in their shoes..Duh!

    • Unex Skcus

      The Way To Happiness is missing the “72 virgins”?

  • aquaclara

    SNL 40th. RIP Gilda Radner. John Belushi., Chris Farley. Whom have I missed?

    So many great moments.

    • MadMaxi

      Phil Hartman

      • aquaclara

        Oh, how could I forget him?

        • MadMaxi

          Because he was brilliant at being totally absorbed by the character. I could see his many faces but had to look up his name.

      • Elegant Mess

        His comedic brilliance is missed. He was taken from us way too soon.

      • Rita Gregory

        GMTA.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Probably have their memorial moments coming up.

      • aquaclara

        I’ve been watching both SNL and Scientology since 1975. Watching this great 40th anniversary show now.
        One day, Tony will be hosting a show on the best of the end of the other one.

        I’ll be there, too.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Said it before, this Bunker joint is SNL worthy.

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            (Can I be Tina Fey And … Jane, the ignorant slut? It’s my dream)

            • Rita Gregory

              John Belushi and I share a January 24th birthday. Gee, what else happened on that day in 1986?

      • aquaclara

        Yup. Now…..

      • Ben Franklin

        THDNE, you must have OT powers. How did you know they were going to have memorials at the end of SNL show?

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Because nothing says comedy like “Hey, did u forget these people dropped their meat sacks while you were yukking it up?”

          So yeah, at the end is a good guess.

      • MadMaxi

        Loved the off camera cast featured also, that is just right. Gave me a smiling sad.

    • Intergalactic Walrus

      Mr. Bill!

    • Rod Keller

      Andy Kaufman

    • MadMaxi

      Jan Hooks also has passed, half of the Sweeny Sisters

    • Rita Gregory

      Phil Hartman.

    • aquaclara

      Don Pardo.

      • Rita Gregory

        Don Pardo. I can still hear him talk every time I hear his name.

  • Sandy

    • Qbird

      Hiya Sandy. Always watchin’ with ya – yah know, MN girl.
      SLN ~ There were some moments that made me feel nostalgic. an odd feeling.
      Back in ’75 my girlfriend & I would watch it together on the phone.
      Hoo… the parents on both sides sayin’, “Get off that phone… you guys see each other everyday!”
      Us, laughing & giggling, like ‘two wild & crazy guys’. silly
      just wanted to say Hi Sandy. Q

      • Sandy

        Hey Q. I read that this was the coldest Valentine’s Day in 72 years. Good on ya for getting the heck outta here this winter!!!

  • aquaclara

    If you’re still in and lurking, it’s not too late to catch up on the real world. Blow for Good. Then catch SNL greatest hits. You’ll laugh and get your life back.

    See you back here soon.

    • Sandy

      the SNL show is not greatest hits.

      • aquaclara

        They played them all day today…best of each decade. Catch it if you missed it. So many gems.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Theres an app for all episodes for free.

          Or .. catch the Underground Bunker here … the SNL of the Blog World.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        Bon Jovi’s stylist needs to go. The au natural grey hair too. Think of the children watching!

  • i-Betty

    I had to share this brilliant quote from Spike which made me laugh out loud.

    “OMG *that’s* why they keep digging all those bunkers!!! They keep needing to move Xenu to new quarters, and the bunkers are for the latrines, which need to be dug fresh when they fill up with Alien Lord Poop. Which is then turned into $cientology texts… ;)”

    • RMycroft

      Which they load into “titanium” boxes to keep the stink inside:

      • Todd Tomorrow

        I thought Ebner found OT 9, in some needle infested ally. The tech doesn’t work they are littering the city with their MEsst.

    • Happy Birthday, btw! ๐Ÿ™‚

      • i-Betty

        Thank you! You are so lovely ๐Ÿ™‚ x

        • Not as lovely as you are! You are very welcome! ๐Ÿ™‚ x

    • Eclipse-girl

      It still before midnight my time, so happy birthday.
      Thanks Dodo, I forget these things ๐Ÿ™‚

      I hope you had a good day.

    • Ardent

      Birthdays? Happy birthday to all! I didn’t realise.

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    Still Crazy After All These Years … my theme music!

    • aquaclara

      Just going to say that!

      Beautiful.

      Thanks, Paul.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        He and Bon Jovi’s hair stylists need to go though. I still enjoyed this historic moment in tv land. Sure, it was marred by the corporate ugly stamp, but the brillance and talent within can’t be touched. Like I said, SNL was our cable and internet, only one hour a week back then. We were moved despite the obvious attempts to affect otherwise. Im sure there will be criticisms tomorrow.

        • aquaclara

          I love them both!

    • Vaquera

      Tonight’s SNL gave me a tear a time or ten.

  • beauty for ashes

    O/T Just got the mail, and I noticed something from Joel Osteen in my mom’s mail. I know its a federal crime but we’ve had so many debates on the nature of healing, and my beliefs in God that I had to see what was in it.
    “EXPERIENCE the supernatural, unexplainable FAVOR OF GOD” ***donate here etc etc.******
    I have had many arguments with various religious people that I have to believe in God, a specific way, or I won’t be healed. Or I have to believe that everything works out for the best according to the universe. Its very hurtful. I have tried to offer that for me psychologically it is better to think critically, to believe in science, and hope for the best. (but have an educated plan)
    I am terrible at comebacks, and would like to know if anyone has any related experience.

    • Hingle McCringleberry

      That fine gentleman’s church is just a little down the road from where I live, and I’m familiar with the whole thing going on there, so I’ll pop in my $0.02. He’s the pastor of Lakewood Church in Houston. His dad was the founder and I’m not too well versed in him or what his thing was, but they bought and converted the old NBA arean in Houston into a church and that’s where they meet, so you’re looking at 30,000 folks per service a couple of times a week. From all reports, his wife is a raging harpy (she’s also the “co-pastor”) who has had issues with screaming at flight attendants and generally looking down her nose at anyone who didn’t marry into success like her.
      That being said, there’s not a lot of dirt on him- at least not yet. He’s got a pretty positive rep in the community, and seems generally interested in helping people and seems to actually care to some degree. Supposedly, he had other plans for his life outside of the ministry before he got “called” or whatever to follow the old man.
      They do some good stuff, but there is definitely no vow of poverty going on there. The Osteens are raking in the cash, hand over fist. Of the people I know of that attend that church, its mostly very wealthy, older white folk or people trying to grow up to be wealthy older white folks. On the other hand, I also know some people that have had problems with drugs, felonies on their records and the like that have gotten some actual help from that church as well, so a mixed bag I guess.

      • beauty for ashes

        Yeah, I’m familiar with him but up until now I also believed he was not a pay for your miracle kind of guy.

        • Hingle McCringleberry

          Yep. I’m not sure he’s selling miracles. To me, his racket has been “Pay me to be a good person for you, so that you can get back to the golf course, or laying off janitors, or banging the tennis pro, or your third full day at the day spa this week.”

        • MaxSpaceman

          you can know him better by noting his wife’s behavior. He doesn’t seem to have that good ol’ guy James Stewart compelling appeal to use to beseech his wife to get her ego under control. Her ‘I’m wealthy’ haughtiness is detestable.

        • Jenny Daniels

          Alas, I’m sure he always has been.
          I’m certainly no fan of any type of fundamentalism, but watching Ophra visiting the Osteen’s manse, was eye opening. All I could think of was the alleged LWrong quote in which he is supposed to have opined that the best way to make a million bucks was to start a religion. Very likely that ALL televangelists are pay up front to play folks!

    • Rita Gregory

      Ugh. The “we’re so holy God favors us so send us your money and God will favor you too.” B.S. All I know is no one has the right to judge the type or strength of another persons beliefs. People should do what they feel is best for them.

    • Todd Tomorrow

      Shred it!

      • beauty for ashes

        Done!

      • Thank you for this inspiration, brother TrevAnon!

    • D.Y.G.

      Joel Osteen is one of those “prosperity theologians” who promises that God rewards faith with health and wealth. It seems very narcissistic to me, and perhaps not quite what Jesus Christ had in mind.

  • Hingle McCringleberry

    So, after a couple of pops, and re-reading some materials, it appears that I’ve had a Cognition! Before I share it, need to ask a couple of technical questions though, since I might just have my head up my ass. Anyway, from a Co$ perspective, does a dog have a thetan? Hubbard did that jazz with a tomato plant, so how about a vegetable? Are they rocking their own thetans as well? If not, and plants and animals do not have their own little space ghost, do what degree are they influenced by the thetans floating in the ether around them? This idea has to do with poking holes in the ‘all of your physical ailments have a spiritual cause’ giggleshit idea that they whip out. Thanks in advance.

    • Super Power Wog

      My time track only goes so far in Scientology however that where I believe the Genetic Entity (GE) comes in, and it was implanted some time ago which is why we are on the planet. The reactive mind is the animal mind and LRH Hubbard later termed it the Genetic entity. I remember reading that in History of Man. I have since thrown out that book and deprogrammed, so anybody else here can correct me if I’m wrong.

      • Super Power Wog

        So animals and dogs are not thetans just the GE bank.

        • That whole GE thing is most confusing fucking concept for every scientologist I ever known. Hubbard was probably on barbiturates and rum at the time he pulled it out of his assbrain.

          • Super Power Wog

            I read your comment on top. OMG just fucking call it Karma LRH…degraded Thetans? wow

          • Ardent

            ‘Assbrain’ FUNNY!

            • Rita Gregory

              I know right? The first thing I thought of was Kim Kartrashian.

            • Ardent

              Ha ha ha! Zinger!

            • Her ass does look like a huge flat brain though. Just saying.

          • Todd Tomorrow

            Even on those I can’t understand his ramblings! GE, Dog, Farrican all a big mesty bunch of theta for me.

        • Which contradicts to his own “Theta-MEST” theory. Oops.

          • Hingle McCringleberry

            Believe What you Want,
            We’ll Tell You What’s True
            The IAS Reges
            Are Coming for You.

          • Super Power Wog

            Omg…I can’t even go back that route…

    • Yeah, dogs, cats and other life forms are “degraded thetans/theta”. I remember Walter Kotric, big SO OT from EU, saying half jokingly that Hitler is in a cokroach body now.

      • Super Power Wog

        Oh my he really switched it up.lolol

      • Hingle McCringleberry

        So, good info all around. The “cognition” had to do with the fact that meat bodies are looked down upon as a hindrance- something that basically holds you back. Something to be discarded and replaced, which is a chore at best and mechanism of spiritual slavery at worst. That being said, according to the rest of the tech, without your own O/Ws, or the bank that you bring with you to the meat body, that meat body is otherwise perfect. How could that be so? Not very logical to think that you’re inhabiting an otherwise perfect vessel to navigate the MEST universe, one that would never get sick or old or have problems and infirmities unless you- the thetan- inflict those upon the meat body. As far as I know, there’s no place on the bridge, currently or promised in a “future release” in which a Scientologist would transcend the physical existence altogether, except periodically and supposedly at will once all orgs are ideal and whatnot. So what made the perfect meat vessels for us to screw up? It would seem like a higher power, like Hunter S. Thompson’s Great Magnet, would be required for the whole idea to stand up.

        • Walter also said that thetans are constantly battling for a body to occupy. So consider yourself a Big Thetan.

          • Super Power Wog

            Well at least in this lifetime. Good luck on the next one lolol

          • TheMirrorThetan

            Does that mean they hang around hospitals and nursing homes? How do they decide then who gets what body? If you are ugly do you have less thetans trailing after you waiting for you to croak? What makes a good body to take?

            • Hospitals, looking for new-born bodies. The demand is very high, apparently.
              Any human body is good enough. But if you are OT, you will get a pretty one AND
              in a rich scientology family, kind of like Duggans.

            • Super Power Wog

              I knew about the “looking for bodies” but a pretty one? Serious? They are sick…like i can’t even…

            • Well, “making able more able” and all. As an OT, you pick rich, cute scientology couple and you all set! Simple.

            • Super Power Wog

              WOW! So the game is more money better looks. WOW!

              That would be good to know up front. Not everyone has the same purpose.

            • More money, better looks AND immortality. Hollywood material.
              Most people wouldn’t mind these things. Hubbard knew it.

            • Super Power Wog

              Yeah but being pretty is so subjective….money…maybe? In Hollywood only.

            • TheMirrorThetan

              Well I’m fucked then. I’m not rich, not OT and common looking. So I would only get the left over reject thetans.

            • Lol How soon?

            • TheMirrorThetan

              Nah I’m not expecting. I was just wondering if there were such things as thetans what kind of little bastards I would have attached to me.
              I’m bored and I don’t have anything better to do, well I do but daydreaming about thetans is a step above getting off my arse to do the vacumning ๐Ÿ™‚

            • ๐Ÿ™‚

        • EnthralledObserver

          It’s the plot-holes in the story… the more you look, the more you find.

      • Jenny Daniels

        I’m not sure he was even 1/2 joking. I’d heard “living in a rock for eternity.”

        • I stay corrected. Also, nice to know scientology discovered eternity rocks.

    • Elegant Mess

      Good question. I’m interested to hear some informed opinions on this one.

  • Observer

    ..

    • Phytophile

      I like the sign up top.

    • Kinky clams!

    • Ardent

      …One wonders…

    • does anyone have a handy grab or text that explains the Hubbard clam explanation… would do it myself but it’s been over 18 hours since I’ve slept and just commentating is my limit right now

    • Elegant Mess

      Ahh, romance!

    • LOL feminine needs

  • Elegant Mess

    I’m far too lazy today to scroll trough all the comments. Maybe someone previously mentioned this, but I’ll just throw it out there: In the Orange County/Inglewood Ideal Org flyer, they actually labeled the x-axis! Still no y-axis labels, but hey, baby steps right? ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Robert Eckert

      Maybe one point of partial credit.

    • Super Power Wog

      I can only make out a familiar face in two pictures who is a Flag trained staff member from another mission (pre-GAT II). He is obviously re-doing his Auditor training at the OC org which they would count as part of their stats. The other pictures are too blurry for me to see.

      • Super Power Wog

        edited

    • Eclipse-girl

      while they labeled a month at the Zero end of the scale and a month at the ? infinite end of the scale, not years were mentioned.
      It is assumed that this all took place during one year, but it is scientology

  • Ardent

    Returning to the Bunker, and noticing more crapola from the cult. I was thinking today (sometimes I think!) that there MUST be some agency of the U.S. government watching this damnable criminal cult/scam. Tony, if you read this, do you have any idea? Are you free to discuss? I am sure a great many of us are simply astonished at the things the cult gets away with. And on a regular basis! Bit of a rant. Ahem. But I get really upset sometimes, especially when I see some dupe, in a Batman suit, playing with Play-Doh as some half-assed ‘religious observance’ or whatever lie they want to call it. I mocked the photo earlier, because it is funny. But it is actually profoundly, criminally sad and wrong.

    • Here at Langley, we call Tony – Agent Tortega. Jk.

      • Ardent

        Chuckling. Ah, Dodo, where would we be without you?

        • Eclipse-girl

          We would be missing our morning wake up call.
          We would be missing the gentleman who can find humor in trolls when they exasperate me.
          We would be missing my (our) friend

          • Aw, so kind of you! Thank you, Eclipsy.
            I can say the same about every Bunkerite.

            Ok, back to the topics now ๐Ÿ™‚

            • Rita Gregory

              Awww! Dodo you are so sweet! I’ll bet you’re blushing. ๐Ÿ™‚

            • My TR’s are not perfect, eh? ๐Ÿ™‚ Good. Thank you, Rita.

          • (Thank you for being a friend.)

        • You would be just fine. Thank you though ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Todd Tomorrow

      Yeah, but drinking wine out of a herpes infested goblet and chewing on a crummy cracker is pretty odd, too. And rubbing those beads, Seriously though, where do these people find the time to do all of these things? I’m an average sort of guy and I can’t relate to coming home from work grabbin’ the old lady and dressing up like cartoon characters. Taking hundreds of hours of course, auditing, sauna sitting, ignoring their children. No wonder they are so easy to brainwash they never sleep. Plus, Ardent they must need to do all these,’crimes” so they have something to get out of ethics. Horrible, selfish people taking advantage of others.

      • Ardent

        Horrible and selfish, for sure. The cult, at basis, preys upon self-image. At least, to some degree. Barf.

  • MadMaxi

    Just like to remind everyone that today, Feb 16, is the anniversary of Kyle Brennan’s passing. Please in your own private way take a moment to remember him and his family over the next 24 hours. https://vbreton2062.wordpress.com/

    • Todd Tomorrow

      Thanks, and rest in peace Kyle. Taken from this world too soon.

    • Elegant Mess

      Thank you for that sobering reminder of why we need to keep an eye on things going on inside this organization.

      • MadMaxi

        You’re welcome, it isn’t for us but for the mothers, fathers, families and friends. (Correction, it IS for too many of the members of the UBCC.)

      • Ardent

        Absolutely right! Sad, sad, criminally responsible cult.

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    Watching the NBC network butcher the legacy of one of the most iconic hallmarks of American life, SNL, and insulting the memory of an entire generation who recognized the brilliance and magic that stuffy bean counters can not – reminded me of all the talent, the same brilliant magic, the comedy, the mastery and passion of those I stood with every day in the Sea Org long ago.

    Sure, it was hell and hard work, endless hours, no healthcare, no help, poor eats, no money in it. Hey, that’s just like the world of artists/entertainers. When you are young and pursuing your passions on your path, you are supposed to ignore the wise old men and ladies admonishing you on the side of the road. So we ignored. But there was such talent and truly impressive and hilarious minds then, it became a real liferaft downstream adventure.

    If I only knew SNL by watching their special tonight, it would probably be like those just seeing scientology this decade.

    • Ardent

      I am truly pleased I didn’t watch it.

      • MadMaxi

        The first hour was good though with a fab Jeopardy skit. “Let It Snow”

        • Lurkness

          “Who Reads”

        • Robert Eckert

          I liked Wayne and Garth, and Kanye was a good sport.

  • To Lighten the mood here’s a selection of my favourite SNL bits: “Deep Thoughts By Jack Handy”…. some of these are genuine burst out lol’s [for me, anyway]:

    * DEEP THOUGHTS * by Jack Handy

    ————————————————————————

    If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses

    should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

    When you’re riding in a time machine way far into the future, don’t stick

    your elbow out the window, or it’ll turn into a fossil.

    It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

    At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be

    “Clark Kent, Dentist,” because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But

    then I thought, if a patient said, “How’s my back tooth?” and you just

    looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, “Oh it’s okay,” then the

    patient would probably say, “Aren’t you going to take an X-ray, stupid?” and

    you’d say, “Aw fuck you, get outta here,” and then he probably wouldn’t even

    pay his bill.

    One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my

    little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out

    warehouse. “Oh, no,” I said. “Disneyland burned down.” He cried and cried,

    but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started

    to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

    A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you

    call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. “Hear that?” you

    say. “That’s dynamite, baby.”

    Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for “better treatment”? I’d ask

    for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you’d

    probably be able to get a lot of free games.

    I’d like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack,

    above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even

    feel it.

    If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my

    holster, I’d carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy

    said something like “Hey, look. He’s carrying a soldering iron!” and started

    laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, “That’s

    right, it’s a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.” Then everybody

    would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering

    iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

    I bet when the neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always

    end up saying, “Don’t forget the thick, heavy brows.” Then they would all

    get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too,

    and they’d get mad and eat the snowman.

    Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let’s say you’re an

    astronaught on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into

    Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam

    the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say

    he’s not Dracula, but you just say, “Think again, bat man.”

    Too bad you can’t buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin

    real fast and freak everybody out.

    The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any

    toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with

    rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face

    with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and

    offered to give me the toy. This was too much! I reached out my hand, but

    then he ran away. I chased him down and took the enema bag. He cried a

    little, but that’s the way of these people.

    I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula

    AND Superman away.

    I don’t think I’m alone when I say I’d like to see more and more planets

    fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

    Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why

    several of us died of tuberculosis.

    Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself:

    “Mankind”. Basically, it’s made up of two separate words – “mank” and “ind”.

    What do these words mean ? It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind.

    I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don’t

    just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good

    ideas.

    I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him,

    and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, “I helped skin

    Bob.”

    I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they

    don’t want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when

    somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, “What was THAT?!”

    The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

    Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and

    bite, but it won’t bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant

    teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

    I’d rather be rich than stupid.

    If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came

    up to you and asked where the gold was, I don’t think it would be a good

    idea to say, “I swallowed it. So sue me.”

    If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger,

    screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I

    guess I’m a coward.

    I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture,

    is the story of Popeye.

    When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they

    ever press charges.

    To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography,

    and the dancers hit each other.

    What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a

    solid gold baby? Maybe we’ll never know.

    We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff at them

    personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.

    Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of

    striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

    I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was

    free. To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he’s

    throwing up, is not what I call hospitality.

    To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kind of scary. I’ve wondered

    where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the

    circus, and a clown killed my dad.

    As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that was very

    pleasurable – until I realized it wasn’t a nectarine at all, but A HUMAN

    HEAD!!

    Most people don’t realize that large pieces of coral, which have been

    painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a

    child look like a deer.

    If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We

    might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

    Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head

    out when you’re coming home his face might burn up.

    You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make

    people happy, but inside he’s real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.

    Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm

    myself down. I’ll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When

    the person comes to the door, I’m gone, but you know what I’ve left on the

    porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it’s head with a

    note that says “You.” After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm

    done.

    If you’re a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets

    right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away.

    If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep

    the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we build to that.

    If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe

    you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free

    dummy.

    I’d like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet

    you can really see it in those genitals.

    Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck,

    and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what

    is that thing.

    He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made

    a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she

    disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, “Dust to

    dust,” some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he

    told the others, “I’ll be waiting for you in heaven–with a gun.”

    The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I

    remember we’d all pile into the car – I forget what kind it was – and drive

    and drive. I’m not sure where we’d go, but I think there were some trees

    there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever

    sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called “Dad.” We’d eat

    some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never

    leave you.

    If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is

    “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to

    tell him is “Probably because of something you did.”

    Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is

    not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It’s a shark riding on an

    elephant’s back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

    As we were driving, we saw a sign that said “Watch for Rocks.” Marta said it

    should read “Watch for Pretty Rocks.” I told her she should write in her

    suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke –

    just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!

    One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my

    little nephew to DisneyLand, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out

    warehouse. “Oh, no,” I said, “DisneyLand burned down.” He cried and cried,

    but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started

    to drive over to the real DisneyLand, but it was getting pretty late.

    If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think

    liked dolphins the most? I’d say Flippy, wouldn’t you? You’d be wrong,

    though. It’s Hambone.

    Laurie got offended that I used the word “puke.” But to me, that’s what her

    dinner tasted like.

    We used to laugh at Grandpa when he’d head off and go fishing. But we

    wouldn’t be laughing that evening when he’d come back with some whore he

    picked up in town.

    I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town,

    we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

    As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I

    thought back to the salmon I caught that morning, and how gray he was, and

    how I named him Flint.

    If you’re a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it’s real

    embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.

    Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first

    instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what is I was an ant, and she fell

    on me. Then it wouldn’t seem quite so funny.

    If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and you friends are

    all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were

    swimming.

    When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we’d

    all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us.

    It wasn’t until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

    Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was

    a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

    The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.

    When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie

    heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it’s not, mmmmmmm,

    boy.

    Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an

    enemy planet.

    Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we

    should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.

    I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and

    since he is so busy, you’d probably have to run up to him real quick and

    give it to him.

    Just because swans mate for life, I don’t think its that big a deal. First

    of all, if you’re a swan, you’re probably not going to find a swan that

    looks much better than the one you’ve got, so why not mate for life?

    If you’re robbing a bank and you’re pants fall down, I think it’s okay to

    laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.

    If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet

    that will really throw you into a panic.

    Sometimes I think I’d be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.

    I can’t stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something

    like, “Hey, when are you going to pay me that $100 you owe me?” or “Do you

    have that $50 you borrowed?” Man, quit being so cheap!

    I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink

    is our friend.

    I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons

    sale. Many people could really use used ice picks.

    If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could

    shoot beer out of you nose.

    I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children’s

    children, because I don’t think children should be having sex.

    Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of

    freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks

    at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not

    Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers.

    I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets,

    because I’d like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

    It’s true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what

    they don’t tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, and Angel

    gets set on fire.

    If you’re in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw

    one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it’ll make everyone think how stupid war

    is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

    I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.

    The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I’ll put a very large

    blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if

    someone asks me why I didn’t get more meat, I’ll just say, “Oh, you mean

    this?” and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes,

    where I’ve hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?

    Life, to me, is like a quiet forest pool, one that needs a direct hit from a

    big rock half-buried in the ground. You pull and you pull, but you can’t get

    the rock out of the ground. So you give it a good kick, but you lose your

    balance and go skidding down the hill toward the pool. Then out comes a big

    Hawaiian man who was screwing his wife beside the pool because they thought

    it was real pretty. He tells you to get out of there, but you start faking

    it, like you’re talking Hawaiian, and then he gets mad and chases you…

    Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with

    no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were no civilization

    out there? No cities, no factories, no people? And then I think: No people

    or factories? Then who made this car? And this highway? And I get so

    confused I have to stick my head out the window into the driving

    rain—unless there’s lightning, because I could get struck on the head by a

    bolt.

    The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard

    and saved his money. True, working at the hardware store didn’t pay much,

    but he felt it was better than what everybody else did, which was go up to

    the volcano and collect the gold nuggets it shot out every day. It turned

    out he was right. After forty years, the volcano petered out. Everybody left

    town, and the hardware store went broke. Finally he decided to collect gold

    nuggets too, but there weren’t many left by then. Plus, he broke his leg and

    the doctor’s bills were real high.

    Too bad when I was a kid there wasn’t a guy in our class that everybody

    called the “Cricket Boy”, because I would have liked to stand up in class

    and tell everybody, “You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but

    to me he’s just like everybody else.” Then everybody would leave the Cricket

    Boy alone, and I’d invite him over to spend the night at my house, but after

    about five minutes of that loud chirping I’d have to kick him out. Maybe

    later we could get up a petition to get the Cricket Family run out of town.

    Bye, Cricket Boy.

    I think a good product would be “Baby Duck Hat”. It’s a fake baby duck,

    which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until

    you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then, all of a

    sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man, those

    ducks really take off! Also, Baby Duck Hat is good for parties.

    I wish I lived back in the old west days, because I’d save up my money for

    about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I’d go out West

    and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing,

    I’d say, “Looking for gold, ya durn fool.” He’d say, “Your pick is gold,”

    and I’d say, “Well, that was easy.” Good joke, huh.

    A funny thing to do is, if you’re out hiking and your friend gets bitten by

    a poisonous snake, tell him you’re going to go for help, then go about ten

    feet and pretend that *you* got bit by a snake. Then start an argument with

    him about who’s going to go get help. A lot of guys will start crying.

    That’s why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke.

    I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I ran up and

    lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn’t. Just kidding. I just said

    that to help illustrate one of the human emotions, which is freaking out.

    Another emotion is greed, as when you kill someone for money, or something

    like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double

    what he paid for his stupid puppet.

    Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it “dull” that

    Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it

    didn’t seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went

    to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and

    waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see

    the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it? You call that dull?

    I scrambled to the top of the precipice where Nick was waiting. “That was

    fun,” I said. “You bet it was,” said Nick. “Let’s climb higher.” “No,” I

    said. “I think we should be heading back now.” “We have time,” Nick

    insisted. I said we didn’t, and Nick said we did. We argued back and forth

    like that for about 20 minutes, then finally decided to head back. I didn’t

    say it was an interesting story.

    If you’re a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don’t like the stuffing or the

    cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you’re eating it, but

    instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then,

    later, when you’re out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake

    cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, “Boy, these are good

    cigars!”

    I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was

    coming. “You don’t have to tell me,” I said. “I’m off the team, aren’t I?”

    “Well,” said Coach, “you never were really ON the team. You made that

    uniform you’re wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy

    space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and

    make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at

    inappropriate times.” It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought

    something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me,

    some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that’s when I felt the

    handcuffs go on.

    If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don’t think I’d call it Trampo-Land,

    because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the

    inpression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we

    would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless

    a tramp’s gyrations seemed to be getting out of control.

    I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing

    a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he’d spin it round

    and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he’d yell

    out, “Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!” We all thought he was crazy. But then

    we had some growing up to do.

    Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old

    stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the

    treasure. I said, “Okay, as long as it’s not a long story. Some of us have a

    plane to catch, you know.” He stared telling hes story, about the treasure

    and his life and all, and I thought: “This story isn’t too long.” But then,

    he kept going, and I started thinking, “Uh-oh, this story is getting long.”

    But then the story was over, and I said to myself: “You know, that story

    wasn’t too long after all.” I forget what the story was about, but there was

    a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though.

    I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to where there was going

    to be an eclipse and tell the cave men, “If I have come to destroy you, may

    the sun be blotted out from the sky.” Just then the eclipse would start, and

    they’d probably try to kill you or something, but then you could explain

    about the rotation of the moon and all, and everyone would get a good laugh.

    I wouldn’t be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut

    it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open,

    and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn’t a

    person, because it would be too small. But there’s a little doll or

    something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy—something like that.

    • Eclipse-girl

      I got through about 25% before I had to stop.
      Thanks for that laughs

    • Hingle McCringleberry

      My quote in my senior yearbook was “If you ever drop you keys in molten lava, just forget about them, friend. They’re gone.” This may be the only Jack Handey quote you left out. Good stuff.

    • ObsessedReader

      Thanks, I love Jack Handy! I like to email them to friends with no explanation. After their initial “WTF?” they soon realize I’m on a Jack Handy kick again.

  • Super Power Wog

    ** RED X +โ€“+** RED X ** +โ€“+ RED X**

    Good Evening/Morning Bunker Lurkers and Bunkerites,

    I know you are all feeling the Bunker Love : )

    Lets keep it moving shall we and Help take down the CO$ Fraudulent Craigslist Ads

    Please see the stats and other information at WWP: https://whyweprotest.net/threads/taking-down-co-on-craigslist-co-ads-on-craigslist.113779/page-118#post-2514616
    (including :how to complain to CL about spamming and other misbehavior by co$)

    RedX write up : https://whyweprotest.net/threads/taking-down-co-on-craigslist-co-ads-on-craigslist.113779/page-117#post-2494321

    RedX spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1-Kvg78kCcvo5gL7UfPcmhmbsagTNtdj0y2LAiHVFrCU/pubhtml

    FREELOADER Debt is ILLEGAL and CANโ€™T BE ENFORCED.
    DONโ€™T route out, BLOW, Get HELP, get OUT. CALL 1-866-XSEAORG

    Thx Bob Kare for the Graphics (F5/Refresh)

    • Todd Tomorrow

      Time to get busy!

    • Elegant Mess

      On it! Thanks for re-posting.

  • Rita Gregory

    OT: While doing some research on mental health disorders I came across this. I had no idea the psychs were fighting back in such a concrete way. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Rita Gregory

    Let’s try this again. The psychs are fighting back. http://www.mentalhealth.com/home/dx/paranoidpersonality.html

    • Intergalactic Walrus

      “Paranoid Personality Disorder” might explain some of the $cientologists’ comments posted on the Danny Masterson Paper article. IDK, but some of them are completely nuts.

      • Rita Gregory

        I found it interesting that they link to the scientology doc underneath the Ineffective treatment header, concerning vitamins. They have the link like that on several disorder pages. I wonder if the Dr. in charge of the site has had a run-in with Scientology. The site has been up since 1995.

        • Intergalactic Walrus

          I was suspicious of the free “Diagnostic Test” link on the site so I Googled the Dr.’s name. Interestingly a website comes up that has several negative reviews for a Dr. Phillip Long who seems to be the same guy. I wondered if maybe they were written by $cios. Then again, I may be just developing a Paranoid Personality Disorder myself – Damn you Xenu!

          https://www.ratemds.com/doctor-ratings/86168/Dr-Phillip-Long-Vancouver-BC.html?page=2

          • Rita Gregory

            Interesting, it looks like there’s not much of a middle ground of opinion. The reviewers either love him or hate him. There are a few reviews which did sound like a Scientologist could have wrote. I know someone with Paranoid Personality Disorder, I’ll bet someone around you would have noticed you have a problem by now! ๐Ÿ™‚

            • Intergalactic Walrus

              It came on, all of a sudden after I started reading about the CO$. Of course being an Intergalactic Walrus, I guess it comes with the territory…

  • Intergalactic Walrus

    I was lurking at the CO$ website and this caught my attention –

    WAS L. RON HUBBARD A MILLIONAIRE?
    L. Ron Hubbard was one of those fortunate people who never made problems over money. He inherited some wealth at an early age, but in the early 1930s became one of the highest paid writers in America, long
    before Dianetics…

    He didn’t have “wealth at an early age”, did he? Seems he was always borrowing money (and not repaying them) or trying to come up with a shady scheme to get money (boat con, etc.)

    • giggler

      such liars, seems to be part of the DNA of the vicious cult!!!

      • Intergalactic Walrus

        It’s on their official website. The one on all of their commercials. What is the point of this lie? It’s like they can’t not lie even when there’s no benefit. *shakes head*

        • giggler

          precisely, beggars belief some of the things they do and say and put in their adverts, ghastly organisation created in the image of its ghastly founder!!

          • Intergalactic Walrus

            Maybe they can convert Jon Lovitz…
            http://youtu.be/pkYNBwCEeH4?t=7s

            • giggler

              very suitable candidate, very funny, but he might have too much of a sense of humour for scientology!!

            • Intergalactic Walrus

              Instead of Jon Lovitz, I should have said “Tommy Flanagan – Pathological Liar”. Yeah, that’s the ticket! He’s got “Future OT” written all over him!

        • EnthralledObserver

          I’d say the point of this lie is to back up LRonny’s defence claims he made when the IRS was snooping around his finances questioning whether he was inuring himself with $cientology profits. His excuses were that he’d made plenty of money in his writing career before Dianetics, and that he’d inherited some, I believe.

          • Intergalactic Walrus

            Ooh, that’s a good theory because everything does seems to be money driven with these guys.

  • Off topic:

    I watched a movie last night that deeply affected me, in a good way, I suppose.
    It’s called “Still Alice”: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3316960/ I recommend it, even though it might make you sad.

    Song from the movie:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jStiNkRNeug

  • Captain Howdy

    Not a night fit for man nor beast.
    http://youtu.be/7MFJ7ie_yGU

    • Are you warm enough?

      • Captain Howdy

        Uh yeah but even with the heat turned up all the way it’s still noticeable. It’s well below zero outside.

        • Damm. Same here, almost. In two days from now.
          Time to put the blankets and everything else to good use.

          • Rita Gregory

            8 degrees here with 3 to 5 inches of snow overnight. Blech. It could be worse, I could be on the east coast, so…

        • Rita Gregory

          Boo hiss! I’ll be glad when winter is over this year for sure. Take care of yourself Captain.

          • Captain Howdy

            Likewise my dear.

    • Missionary Kid

      I’m reading this at 8 in the morning here. It’s 68 F (29 C), and it got down to 59 F (15 C) last night. Send me some precipitation out here in the Coachella Valley, and I’ll send you some heat.

  • every scientologist who’a still in and thinks they’re helping should watch this video…. compare this to what you think you’re doing

    http://youtu.be/9jr6hXsmmKk

    • Super Power Wog

      love…I started tearing up watching this. Thx for posting this. : )

      • just went through a on clicking journey of all my old favourite metal songs… was never a metal head but you don’t really have to be to admire the best from these guys, AC/DC [probably the most unaffected rockstars ever] Iron Maiden etc

        • You are a metal head in a closet. I always knew it.

          • I found it kinda cool that Bruce Dickinson was an ex Oundelian as it was one of the regular schools we played sports against [I’m an ex Felstedian] and was/is a fully trained commercial pilot [the John Travolta of heavy Metal, ed?]. One of my study mates (for one term) was in my house at school and became very famous and had more than 1 No 1’s in the UK charts in the late 80’s/early 90’s… my other study mates were heavily into music – in those days we didn’t have iPads… or even laptops really, so massive sound systems were the order of the day but you were only allowed a full on system in your study if you “needed it for practise”[connect your speakers to whatever electronic instrument you played] …. to this day whenever I hear the first three chords of ‘Smoke on the Water’ outdoors it sends me right back as that was what everyone learned first on electric guitar.

            A personal favourite of mine is the Van Halen remake of the Kink’s classic Girl, you really got me…. I blew 2 sets of Centurions and one set of Wharfdales blasting that one!http://youtu.be/HB8WHA3WWz0

            • What other music you like?

            • I have no particular genre and admire music across the full spectrum [apart from rap]… I always remember a particular song gets me and I have to find out about it… Sultans of Swing was amazing but had to be re-relaeased as it went nowhere first time (I lay claim to being responsible for their success)… the opening chords to U2’s ‘In the name of Love’ gave me goose bumps the first time I heard them… the base line of ‘Every Breath You Take ‘instantly grabs you… half a dozen Stones riffs are like the best thing Picasso ever drew. The last concert I saw was Coldplay and I had a smile on my face for the next two days.

              Comfortably Numb and Gilmour’s guitar – forget about it!

              That aside there’s very little that has made me want to go out and buy the album in the past year or so… thought that “Happy’ song was nice and I was one of the few people to hear Get Lucky before it hit Youtube and thought it was an instant hit….. but then you only have to see how brilliant Niles Rogers was with Chic…

              I would say that my music has changed from albums to tracks over the years as so few artists can fill an album the way Fleetwood Mac did with Rumours.

            • Super Power Wog

              Did they light up the venue during “Paradise”? My #2 fav song. Sorry Hacked your thread but they are my next concert if I’m lucky enough.

            • I saw them in Oslo… the thing that struck me about them was how much they sounded like their album live… and trust me on this – ALL bands want to sound as close to their studio recordings as possible as each of those tracks is the the very best what they could do after numerous takes. if they sound as good live as their studio produced album then you know you you’re listening to a band at the top of their game. The classic singalong tracks give you goosebumps a go go … everyone in the crowd is someone you know has no intention of being a dick and, in Oslo, anyway, there’s a bar really close to the stage where you can still hear and watch the band.

            • Super Power Wog

              WoW. Sounds symbiotic. Seriously-lock me in a dark closet with strobe lights playing Paradise and I would be in heaven. The lyrics to that song are absolutely gorgeous. Hopefully they hit CA soon. Would LOVE to see them.

            • Missionary Kid

              I disagree.
              Maybe I’m strange, but I walked out of a Cream concert because I felt I could have stayed home and listened to them on the stereo.
              Of course, they were breaking up and were just fulfilling their contractual obligations. I felt they were just shucking it.

            • “I have no particular genre and admire music across the full spectrum [apart from rap]..”
              Same here.

    • Intergalactic Walrus

      I’m just curious. What would happen if a person walked into an Org and said they were down on their luck (no money, food or place to stay) and asked for short term help. What would they do? With a “Church” sign on the building I’m sure this has happened, especially at their in Hollywood locations. I would like to see a video of this.

      • Super Power Wog

        Nothing. Hand them a flyer.

        • Handing them a flyer would be too generous.

          • Super Power Wog

            I have never once seen anything with regard to homeless people while I was in. Have you?

            • Well, my Org had an invasion of homeless people once or twice, after they put up a sign inviting everyone for a free dinner. That was a flap. Going Ideal Org fixed it.

        • Intergalactic Walrus

          One of those 20 cent “Way to Happiness” booklets, I suppose. Great.

          • Missionary Kid

            That’s way overpriced. Those probably cost pennies, if even that to produce.

      • Scientology, while they suck at it, is about making the able more able. People with no money food or place to stay are downstat. Dispose of them quietly and without sorrow.

        • Intergalactic Walrus

          I was going to say that if that is the case, I’m surprised that there are no reports about a needy person asking the “church” for help and being rebuffed. But then I imagine that even most folks on their last legs, probably would consider the CO$ bad news. Still I gotta think that some of those not-quite-lucid Hollywood homeless have wandered in.

      • I’m not really qualified to answer this… though it would be interesting to see if any of the exes actually have a story about this or knew if this ever happened/happens

      • Truthiwant

        Although it’s sad to see someone who is down and out, if one of these people did approach the church, they are the lucky ones because the church will shun them, tell them to go away and they won’t get sucked in. The down and out person will then quite rightly think “What kind of a f–king church is that?”

        • Intergalactic Walrus

          They wouldn’t give them a couple of bucks or some clothes or a blanket? Or refer them to a civic agency that could help them? Even a young mother with kids? Yeah, “What kind of a f–king church is that?” That’s what real churches are for.

          Reminds me of that video where the comic is in the CCI and says something like “We ain’t got no money, they don’t want us, we’re spare parts”.

          • Truthiwant

            No they would not give them a couple of bucks and a blanket. However,it could be that some fresh-meat staff felt compassion and offered to help, but that staff member would then be sent to ethics for seconding a down stat PTS person.

            • Intergalactic Walrus

              Wow. Would the average low-level CO$ public (I hope I’m saying that right – meaning non-staff members) know this? Isn’t tax-free status meant to support organizations that are willing to help out in these kind of situations? Grrr… IRS, I’m giving you the side-eye!

      • 1subgenius

        Somewhere in the deep dark recesses of my one remaining brain cell there is a faint memory of something like this happening.
        (All subject to being completely wrong):
        It had something to do with them calling the police on some street people and having them moved away from the org. I believe it was LA/Cali, and around 2008.
        I would bet good money that virtually none of them has ever provided a real meal to a real person in need.

        • Intergalactic Walrus

          Some enterprising reporter needs to do this and see what happens. Maybe after March 16 someone will. Anderson Cooper does those CNN ongoing reports “Keeping them Honest” about charity frauds. This could complement those nicely. Then again, maybe they are going to change their SOP due to the “Going Clear” publicity.

          • 1subgenius

            “…change their SOP …”
            Ha ha.

            • Intergalactic Walrus

              I wasn’t trying to be funny, I meant that they might start doing things differently to make themselves look good until the heat of publicity from Going Clear begins to wane. A charm offensive to show how they are just the same as the church/temple nextdoor and are being unfairly attacked by religious bigots.

            • 1subgenius

              I didn’t think you were trying to be funny. I just thought that it was.

      • Captain Howdy

        They could end up being in the cult 40 years later like my sister is when she was in the same position more or less on the streets of NYC.

        • Intergalactic Walrus

          I’m sorry to hear that.

      • GrandEclectus

        Did you see Tory’s recent vid? They say “All are welcome.” But they have a guard at the door, and were clearly not happy with an evil SP (ha ha) taking pictures inside their open reception room.
        I would bet they’ve encountered quite a number of street people and I’m sure they would all have been turned away.
        As we know, they just want the benefits of being a religion but don’t want the work.
        “I’m not a religion. I just play one on TV.”

    • Nat-lificent

      Metallica will sue them

  • Super Power Wog

    ** RED X +โ€“+** RED X ** +โ€“+ RED X**

    Good morning Night Owls and Early Birds,

    Please see the stats and other information at WWP: https://whyweprotest.net/threads/taking-down-co-on-craigslist-co-ads-on-craigslist.113779/page-118#post-2514616

    (including :how to complain to CL about spamming and other misbehavior by co$)

    RedX write up : https://whyweprotest.net/threads/taking-down-co-on-craigslist-co-ads-on-craigslist.113779/page-117#post-2494321

    RedX spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1-Kvg78kCcvo5gL7UfPcmhmbsagTNtdj0y2LAiHVFrCU/pubhtml#

    FREELOADER Debt is ILLEGAL and CANโ€™T BE ENFORCED.
    DONโ€™T route out, BLOW, Get HELP, get OUT. CALL 1-866-XSEAORG

    Modified by DTL. Hosted by AP.

  • Super Power Wog

    Last Post of the evening. It’s late on the West/US and since we are sharing music here’s a BADASS violin version of my favoritist song in the world Radioactive by Imagine Dragons. I’m a huge Lindsey Stirling fan, and I just went to her concert. It was AMAZING!!!! Google her. : ) Nite Bunkeroos!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aE2GCa-_nyU

  • Graham

    โ€œAnother placement of the VM ad in a British publication. What was that about Scientology not getting away with that over there?โ€

    I feel duly chastened Tony, as probably the UK Bunkeroo who was stating that most loudly.

    The situation is as follows: there’s no pre-censorship of ads. Your ad can contain as many wild statements as
    you want, provided you can find a publisher naรฏve enough, or venal enough, to accept your copy. However, if it doesn’t meet ASA standards and someone objects then the ASA can impose sanctions. For this reason all advertisers who value their reputations think long and hard about the wording so as not to trigger complaints.

    Here it looks like Scientology is trying one of their standard tricks: to forge ahead and do it anyway regardless of the damage. I’ve yet to check what sanctions could be imposed by the ASA but it’s highly likely that any punishment could be seen by Scientology as a price worth paying now the horse has already escaped from the stable and all these ads are ‘out there’.

    Incidentally I’m genuinely puzzled as to why they are bothering to do this in the UK. The general public don’t care (and, unusually for a relief organisation they are not using the ad to seek donations). Are they really doing this for the 2000 or so still ‘in’? This ad campaign has to be costing more than they could ever hope to recoup from such a small supporter base.

    Anyhow, it’s up to me and any other Bunkeroos who feel inclined to set the complaints process in motion
    (Both by contacting the ASA and also the publishers who are running the ads). This is likely to take some time (Someone yesterday mentioned ‘a month’ to get a result from the ASA). Watch this space.

    • Ella Raitch

      Go Graham…as to they why…to impress Scientology public of course…

    • 1subgenius

      “…it’s up to me…”
      Kudos.
      So much better than “….someone should….”

    • Scream Nevermore

      I’ve also called out the ASA on Twitter about this…

      • Graham

        Any chance you could tweet the New Statesman? They should be ashamed as a respectable left-leaning political journal of many years standing. I don’t do twitter nor facebook but have been getting the message out by e-mail with a couple of encouraging bits of feedback so far. I’m going to post a summary tomorrow of everything I’ve done.

        • Scream Nevermore

          Will do!

        • Scream Nevermore

          Done.

        • Scream Nevermore

          Tweeted ASA, Metro and New Statesman again this morning. Hope they actually check their accounts!

          • Graham

            Great! thanks. New ad today in the Metro- see my posts this morning (Weds)

  • Graham

    From their web-site:
    To report comments on articles or to make a complaint about New Statesman content, please Email:
    comments@newstatesman.co.uk

    For a left leaning political magazine (With Free thinking since 1913 on the mast head) their running a Scientology ad is truly bizarre.

  • Graham

    Just sent the following to comments@newstatesman.co.uk

    New Statesman 13- 19 Feb. Astonished to see full-page ad for Scientology (Opposite the Helen Lewis article). Could you please explain why, as ‘free thinkers since1913’, you thought it appropriate to run this ad?

    Scientology claims to have millions of members worldwide. However they have never produced any stats to
    back up this claim. The best guesses of observers are that this figure is either 1) a self-serving lie or 2) counting every person who has ever bought a book or service since L Ron Hubbard started Scientology back in the 1950s.

    Best estimates using available data (eg national censuses) would indicate a current active membership of
    40 000 worldwide at the absolute maximum. In the 2011 census for England & Wales 2 418 people declared themselves as Scientologists.

    In view of the above I would submit that it is impossible for them to ‘give aid to millions in time of need’. Scientology Volunteer Ministers have a reputation for appearing in small numbers at a few high-profile disasters basically getting in the way of the real helpers whilst creating photo opportunities for publicity materials. These are then used to convince fellow Scientologists to give even more donations in the false belief that they are supporting a vast international aid organisation. The only unique thing offered by these Volunteer Ministers are New Age style ‘touch assists’ and ‘nerve assists’ which have zero scientific validity.

    Presumably the Charity Commission is aware of the above as this so-called ‘relief force’ does not have charitable status.

    Please forgive me for not signing off with my full name. Scientology has a deserved reputation for aggressively ‘fair gaming’ critics and I’d rather not have them knocking on my door at 1am to discuss why I am a ‘religious bigot’ as has happened to friends of mine.

    But to repeat: why did you think it appropriate to run this ad?

    Yours sincerely

    Graham

    • I’ve left your stuff and links on my blog… haven’t had time to fully address this myself but will do so soon; from past experience and knowing a little about these guys [had to deal with them for my thesis the print guys are dinosaurs in response compared to the TV guys…. suggest a tweet campaign to all the journalists who work for these rags along the lines of “how can you call yourself press if you take the cult shilling” type thing. I think it’ll build momentum…. ideally you’d want the take-down to cooincide with that supposed new Narconon centre opening for maximum effect and lulz. The Bunker is so far ahead of the game that it takes the normal press a while to catch up!

      • Graham

        Thanks ML. Yes, I had wondered where this all fits in with the imminent new UK Narconon.

    • i-Betty

      That is superb. My turn, now.

      • Graham

        Go for it! Reading my wording above, I could have made it clearer that the 40 000 does not mean 40k VMs, but that is the pool from which the VMs are drawn.

        I was going to spend this morning looking at the ASA web-site. That’ll have to wait until this afternoon as it’s 11.30 and I’ve not had breakfast yet!

    • Ella Raitch
      • Graham

        Thanks Ella. Looks like a para or two from this would be very useful to give added authenticity to any complaint.

    • Scream Nevermore

      Been offline for a few days, and just caught this – will be doing the same thing in about 30 seconds!

  • Sidney18511

    Thank you to all the bunker Brits for doing the right thing!

    • Graham

      Our honour is at stake!

  • Imagica

    Is it just me or does Chris Shelton seem like the nicest person in the world?

  • just check it for disposable email address
    http://techonlineguide.com/disposable-email-temporary-email/