The big day is finally here, and we can hardly stand it. This afternoon, Scientology’s $200 million white elephant epic cathedral is going to open for tours (Scientologists only), and before long, one assumes, wealthy church members will be making their way to the fifth floor for their Super Power Rundowns.
All weekend, the parties have been going on at Scientology’s spiritual headquarters in Clearwater, Florida, and it looks like these folks are having a helluva time.
But for this installment of Scientology Sunday Funnies, we’re actually going to start in Los Angeles, where a very different celebration of the church has been going on!
On Wednesday, Brandon Ogborn and company began a four-night run of shows on Hollywood Boulevard at the iO West Theatre. And you won’t believe who was at the opening night show to take in The TomKat Project and shake hands afterwards with Brandon…
That’s none other than legendary attorney Bert Fields letting Brandon know how much he appreciated the performance. Bert is one of about 50 characters portrayed by the cast of seven in a show all about the weird relationship between Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise, and Scientology leader David Miscavige. Fields, as Cruise’s attorney, has a fairly prominent presence in the show, and his lines tend to come from actual quotes in the entertainment press.
Hey, it looks like even Bert has a sense of humor! (Too bad he couldn’t rub some of it off on Miscavige and Cruise.)
Now, as for photos coming from Clearwater, our loyal commenters are putting up great things they’ve been finding on Instagram and other places. So we’re not going to try to compete with them all that much. (At least not yet.)
But we wanted to show you this fun snap that a tipster sent us after finding a “swag bag” on the ground during some perambulations around Clearwater…
Can you believe that a Scientologist would drop that kind of crucial technology on the street? Shocking!
In this next shot, you can see that things are awfully swank at the parties the church is throwing. The Golden Age of Tech Phase II — in ice!
Mike Rinder, at his blog, gave everyone a look at the new e-meter, the Mark Ultra VIII, that comes with the new processes. Every Scientologist will be expected to buy two of them, at about $5,000 each, and hopefully, after sitting in a warehouse for about a decade, they still work! (Rinder has further breakdown on the gobbledygook that makes up the new product release. We can only assume it’s earth shaking stuff.)
And just in case you forget, there are plenty of banners to remind you that this is all about Keeping Scientology Working! And don’t forget to give, give, give!
Meanwhile, our tipsters continue to send us other fun items. How’d you like to be an auditor in Nashville?
And out in Los Angeles, the new fund drive to build an auditorium at the Big Blue complex is finding angels!
Finally, we don’t envy the team over at the Tampa Bay Times, who are scrambling to keep up with all of the things happening at the center of the universe this weekend.
Remember, this is the newspaper that broke the news of how for years, Scientology had forced young women to have abortions so they could keep working in slave-like conditions.
It’s the newspaper that broke the news that several high-level officials had defected in part because they were tired of being physically assaulted by Scientology leader David Miscavige.
It’s the newspaper that won a Pulitzer back in 1980 for exposing how Scientology had surreptitiously invaded downtown Clearwater through subterfuge, spying, and outright lying.
It’s been the paper of record as far as Scientology is concerned. But yesterday, by gosh, the Tampa Bay Times wondered if folks in Clearwater figured it was time to stop being so hard on the church and maybe use this opportunity to have a fresh start.
It was an interesting article.
Oh, pardon us, we need to clear our throat…
We can’t wait to see what the Times has to say about the Super Power opening!
Ahem.
Anyway, we’re going to leave it there for now. We have a little surprise coming for our readers in just a few hours. As we near noon, Eastern, make sure you’re here for a fun reveal.
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Posted by Tony Ortega on November 17, 2013 at 07:10
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