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It’s Ron’s Birthday, And Your Present is More Scientology Stuff to Spend Money On!

LRHBirthdayScientology founder L. Ron Hubbard would have been 102 years old on March 13, but the church he left behind has been celebrating his 102nd for a couple of weeks now.

Last night, the Shrine Auditorium filled up with eager Los Angeles-area Scientologists for this year’s big Birthday Event. But we’re already getting some reports from last week’s shindig which was held in Clearwater, Florida.

What’s this year’s big reveal? Well, it looks like church leader David Miscavige is finally rolling the dice on the big new project we’ve been telling you about since last summer, which will give church members even more ways to turn over their every last dime on the way to total freedom!

But don’t take our word for it. Get a load of this report which Andrea Doven (Tom Cruise’s former personal assistant) sent to LA church members a few days ago to get them stoked for last night’s party. As we first told you about last July, Miscavige is releasing the Golden Age of Tech 2, and apparently he made a big deal about it at the Birthday Event…

Thought I would share some of the below feedback from the LRH Birthday event at Flag this past week end!

Join us this Saturday, March 23 at the Shrine Auditorium!!!


Andrea Doven

— Oh man! Holy MOTHER, this is so fantastic to see. The Ideal Orgs that are springing up – I mean EVERYWHERE! And yeah, that proves it — it can be done EVERYWHERE! This is a time to wear the title of
“Scientologist” proudly. I am really proud to wear it myself — prouder than ever! I am very happy to be here tonight and watch history go down. It is phenomenal how well we’re doing.

— The Source Briefing was incredible. It was very personal and intimate and gave an insight into LRH. The part that stood out the most was the briefing on the Ideal Orgs. The fact that the smaller orgs can also make it means everything. All orgs will be able to make it and this does not need to take long. This was a great event!

— I thought the event was the best ever! It is very inspiring to see COB’s goal come to fruition. I realize what seemed impossible IS possible. And it made me realize this is how life can go. I also loved the LRH stories and getting glimpse of his wonderful sense of humor. It truly makes him seem like an old friend to me.

— This event was awesome. The Ideal Orgs, their wins, their expansion, it just doesn’t stop. And it’s going to keep getting bigger. COB really meant it when he said what is coming, and I see that I have a glimpse of what is ahead of us. I have been around for a long time. And I have been pushing for a long time. And what is coming right now are really the important steps that are going to make us make it.

— This was fantastic. The Ideal Orgs were stunning. All the things that are coming, that are happening, is part of the promises that they would be here. It just amazes me that we just keep getting bigger and bigger so fast. I loved the event. I loved that it was A to B. And I loved where we are headed.

— I enjoyed every bit of the event. Particularly I loved the winners. I have worked with so many of these people, and it is so good to see them up on stage, and see them win. It was really incredible. I absolutely loved the LRH Biographer and everything that he said.

— COB was incredible. His delivery of this event was so powerful. I am so excited about the Golden Age of Tech Phase II. And what my concept is of what it will bring.

— I LOVED this so much! This was so validating of our group and so fabulous to see the Ideal Orgs that are being built – I really got the point of where we needed to get to and why. It makes such sense.

— This was FABULOUS! I love watching the stories about LRH. And the visual effects makes you feel like you’re there. It’s so inspiring and makes you feel closer to Source, just learning this.

— I loved the stage! It was gorgeous. I loved the telling of the LRH stories, the visualization and the films and all that went into it. And the whole night it just such a wonderful validation of our group. I loved the Ideal Org presentation. I see that my continent really needs to get busy on this as we have a lot of work to do. We need to work as a team to get this done. This was a wonderful event!

— The best part of the event for me was the news about Golden Age of Tech Phase II coming! I absolutely loved the speakers of the Ideal Org Grand Openings. It creates such an impact. It is such a big deal. What I really liked is how the Source presentation was done. The LRH stories and how it was visualized. From this event I really got that we have arrived at a pivotal point of our Church’s expansion. We are so ready to go with the Ideal Orgs, Golden Age of Tech II and we are unstoppable!

— This was an amazing event. The best part was the LRH Biography part. I get to know more about LRH and to see what a kind person he was, not only the Founder of Dianetics and Scientology. Also I like the fact that we get to hear and see about the Ideal Orgs which have opened and the future ones on the horizon.

— The new Ideal Orgs were what really hit me the most tonight. They are magnificent. I want to get more training and do more to help. I want to help make a better world.

— Wow! This event was incredible! My most favorite part of the event was the LRH Biographer’s briefing on LRH! The way the presentation was done was superb! It amazed me to see just how much LRH was an opinion leader no matter where he was! He always made remarkable changes for the better! The Ideal Orgs that opened were also great! As a result, I am going to do more in my area and be a part of the team that is disseminating and creating huge Scientology expansion!

— Wow! The event was incredible! I loved hearing the stories about LRH and this one was particularly entertaining. This event really inspired me to want to contribute more and to be more active.

As we’ve explained earlier, David Miscavige is taking a huge risk with Golden Age of Tech 2. When he rolled out the first version in 1996, many longtime Scientologists perceived it as an unforgivable rewriting of L. Ron Hubbard’s “technology.” Some people date the current schism pushing many longtime members out of the church to this moment, when Miscavige changed the way people went up “the Bridge.” And now, he’s done it again, right as the church is gripped by more crises than ever. Will church members, who are already exhausted by so much fundraising, put up with yet another alteration to the Bridge and even more ways to spend their money — including an expensive new e-meter? It’s a bold move by Miscavige, but a dangerous one.

Let’s move on to another hyperventilating mailer about how much the “Ron Series” encyclopedia is going to change the world….


Meanwhile, in Nashville, the world is being cleared at a remarkable rate…


We were sent this mailer by a northern California tipster who points out that this message actually indicates how anemic recruitment is these days…


Finally, we must pass on this great Venn diagram of pseudoscientific nonsense, which anoints Scientology as the king of all nonsense. We knew we were focusing on what matters…


Thanks again to our great tipsters for another week of entheta. Keep it coming!



The Underground Bunker’s father celebrated his birthday last night, and we are grateful for our commenters, who kept things lively on the blog while we traveled to party with the old man, who drank us under the table, as is only just.

We have a full week of stories planned, and there should be no interruption of the blog, but we may not have much interaction in the comments section while we are on the road. We are focused on family matters and some reporting away from the Bunker. It should pay off for everyone involved, so please do not lower your expectations. Big stories are coming. Sincerely, the management.


SMERSH Madness: Sowing the Seeds of World Domination!

As we announced on March 1, we’re joining bracket fever with a tournament like no other. It’s up to you to decide who should be named the new SMERSH, the traditional nemesis of Scientology. Cast your vote for who’s doing more to propel the church down its long slide into oblivion!

Our final match of the Sweet Sixteen! Tomorrow, we begin selecting bracket finalists!


Mary Rieser may be in some big trouble. She ran the Scientology drug rehab program in the Atlanta area, Narconon Georgia, but a wrongful death lawsuit uncovered stunning documents about the way she ran the place, and the fancy tales she told the public. After a state judge publicly declared her a liar, Mary’s been relieved of her duties, but there’s still a criminal fraud investigation that may ensnare her further. Will she become a symbol of Scientology’s deceptive practices finally getting their comeuppance? (Previously: Rieser defeated Louis Farrakhan in the first round.)

Mark Bunker was the man who brought video about Scientology to the Internet. Before the arrival of Anonymous in 2008, you can bet that just about any online video about the church was either created or uploaded by Bunker. He then became even more well known as Wise Beard Man, the person who counseled Anonymous that peaceful demonstration was the way to get word out about Scientology. And today, he’s working on a documentary that is going to feature amazing interviews, judging by the glimpses we’ve seen. (Previously: Bunker defeated Lawrence Wright in the first round.)

Go to our March 1 post for the latest tournament results.


Posted by Tony Ortega on March 24, 2013 at 07:00


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