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Tom Cruise Can Raise the Dead! …And More Scientology Sunday Funnies

Add this to the list of amazing things actor Tom Cruise can do with his Scientology superpowers: he can revive the dead!

We’d heard about this 1972 lecture by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard — it’s one of the more notorious ones and has been referred to numerous times both before and since the Internet came along and made Scientology’s secrets more accessible — but this is the first time we’ve actually heard the lecture itself. In it, Hubbard describes how a Scientology auditor (counselor) can convince a soul — or thetan, in Scientology parlance — to return to its body after a car accident or a drowning. (If the auditor is quick enough and assertive, that is. Hubbard bemoans that in one case he couldn’t get close enough to a drowned Negro to help him in time.)

Enjoy this four-minute excerpt we found on the web and follow along with the transcript we’ve provided below.

Now, to set the scene, we can tell you that this lecture was recorded on Friday, April 7, 1972 aboard the yacht Apollo somewhere on the Atlantic or Mediterranean. Several years previously, Hubbard took to sea after finding his ideas unwelcome in various countries. The nervous laughter you hear in the background are “Sea Org” members — young but incredibly dedicated Scientologists who had pledged their loyalty to Hubbard by signing billion-year contracts. Talk about a captive audience! Anyway, just a couple of things to keep in mind while you listen to the lecture and follow the transcript: A “PC” is a preclear — a person who is getting Scientology auditing in order to achieve a higher state of consciousness known as “clear.” Some PCs are able to “exteriorize,” or leave their physical bodies during this auditing process, and they exteriorize for good when the body dies. A thetan then looks for a new body to pick up, customarily at the local maternity ward. (Which explains the reference to the two-year-old who already has a favorite brand of cigars.) Finally, speaking with “Tone 40” is to use a forceful, full-throated voice that is intended to sway minds…

…if he accidentally startles himself half to death, as having exteriorized or something… I’ve had a PC stuck on the ceiling just begging me, for crissakes, do something! I’ve had phone calls in the middle of the night from auditors and so forth: What do we do, she’s in the attic and we can’t get her out! I’m trapped tight! Five auditors sitting around, one of them had exteriorized, and they couldn’t get her back in her head and dumped her body, and there she lies, and nobody could…

The funniest tale of all of that is — we’ve never had a catastrophe with it — but the funniest tale of all of that is the auditor who all of a sudden had a PC — the English slang term was “do a bunk,” which meant run away or desert — and they started calling this “do a bunk.” This auditor had a PC and the PC did a bunk. Well, when they really do a bunk, boy, they do a bunk.

They’re going past Arcturus, as I’ve said before, at 90 miles an hour, or two light years a second, and really did a bunk. When they do that the whole body collapses and their arms will hang down and they look like an old rag doll that somebody has just grabbed half the stuffings out of.

They really go ruhhhhlllll, that’s it. They don’t roll up on the floor in a prenatal or something like that. They just go. That’s it, you know, boom.

And this auditor talked and talked because they’re still in dim communication, you see. And he talked and talked to her: ”Think of your husband, think of your children, think of…” and so on and he talked and talked to her. He couldn’t get her to come back and pick up the body at all. Until all of a sudden he happened to think, “Think of your poor auditor,” and she came back and picked up the body.

I was just a couple of minutes late. State cops were in my way, but a Negro had been drowned. They were in my road to a point where I couldn’t get to the guy and tell him to pick up the body again, or he would have, don’t you see. And they were busy resuscitating him and that was the end of that. It was too late. He really had done a bunk. He finished.

We’ve actually brought little kids back to life and that sort of thing — just tell them “pick up the body,” you know. Now, you just tell them with Tone 40, just say it around the vicinity, they’re still around. And back they come again.

As a matter of fact, Washington, DC got very mad at a Scientologist one time. He decided he was going to do a bunk and he was going to drop the body and he did. He just had an unpleasant afternoon with IRS, and he came back and he just kicked the bucket. That was it, colder than ice and he just wouldn’t pick up the body again. And they told him and they told him and they told him and he wouldn’t. That was it. He, by the way, has shown up again calling for his favorite cigars at two years old.

But anyhow, the upshot of all of this is, is this opens the door to a fabulous amount of action on your part which will sometimes look very magical, because remedy of havingness in various ways.

Now the only thing that gets wrong with the thing is, what can the guy have? And, you will find that I have just given a demonstration here to the Flag medical officers which is HCOB 7 April 1972 Touch Assist, Correct Ones, which I call your attention to. Now, what’s that all about?

Yes, well this is all about equalizing, and it says at the beginning that this is how you tell a medical doctor about it. On assist, when you’re speaking with medicos, you talk to them in terms of restoring calm in blood and nerve channels. Notice that is in there because that isn’t what you’re doing.

You’re giving him back the havingness of his body.

Hey, suddenly that wacky Tom Cruise video makes more sense. Remember his strange reference to Scientologists being the only ones who can help at the scene of a car accident? Well, Tom, a trained auditor, knows that if he’s not too late, he can lay hands on an accident victim and say in his best Tone 40 voice, “Pick up the body! Pick up the body!” And who knows, maybe he’d be quick enough to breathe life into the recently deceased.

We also can’t help digging the bit there at the end, where Hubbard says he has to put together written instructions for how to snow a physician about what a Scientology auditor is doing when he lays hands on the recently dead. Whatever you do, don’t tell the doctor what’s really going on, that you can resurrect the dead with the power of L. Ron Hubbard’s mind-juju!

And for those of you just hearing for the first time what a Hubbard lecture was like, you now have a sense of the man’s amazing charisma. (At least, that’s what his most recent biographers keep telling us, that Hubbard was the most charming human being who ever lived. What, you don’t hear that in this actual tape of the man? Sacrilege.)

PS: To show you how Scientology has to take everything Hubbard said with strict seriousness, here’s evidence that the church turned this lecture (and others like it) into an official church product, the “Bring Back to Life Assist,” a copy of which is on the web here.

After that, we still have a fun set of Sunday Funnies for you. On Sundays, we like to reveal the latest Scientology fundraising fliers that have been forwarded to us by our loyal tipsters around the world. Let’s dig in!

Hey, the Los Angeles org is looking for 13 members willing to cough up $5,000 each to become lifetime members of the International Association of Scientologists (the church’s defense fund) in time for L. Ron Hubbard’s birthday on March 13! Surely in a city of millions there’s a baker’s dozen of people born yesterday, right?

13By13

 
Nashville has scheduled its LRH birthday bash for the 23rd, which is smart, because that might be enough time for the hip hop duo of David Miscavige and Chill E.B. to fly in after performing at the worldwide celebration in Clearwater, Florida closer to the 13th. At least, that’s the best reason we can come up with.

LRHBday2013Nashville

 
Once again with the Excalibur riff in ads for the CCHR banquet, and they’re still keeping secret the name of the 15-term member of Congress who will be the guest of honor. (The Citizens Commission on Human Rights is Scientology’s front group that blames the Holocaust on psychiatry.)

CCHR_Banquet2

 
Now this looks like it was a rockin’ good time last night at the Dallas org. And we wonder how many Scientologists are waking up this morning in a cold sweat after remembering the size of the checks they wrote last night…

RockOfAges

 
And finally, we just wanted to congratulate this newest class of Scientologists who got nice certificates for something, somewhere. Sure, their wallets are a lot lighter, but just think how quickly this planet is getting cleared.

NashvilleGraduation

Once again, thanks to our great tipsters. Keep those fliers coming!

————-

Posted by Tony Ortega on February 10, 2013 at 07:00

 

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  • EnthralledObserver

    LRH sounds like a stand-up comedian… how on earth did anyone ever take this guy more seriously than that? I think he missed his calling… really.

    • Observer

      I always wonder when I hear him laughing in his lectures–is he laughing because he thinks he’s funny, laughing because all those suckers are just eating up his stream-of-consciousness hooey, or both?

      • BuryTheNuts2

        I think he is laughing because he is batshit crazy!

        • blissfulldreams

          na he is laughing because he got the suckers (no offence) to believe in him

          he was laughing all the way to the Bank

          • RMycroft

            He’s doing a bank?

            • blissfulldreams
            • The original phrase was “crying all the way to the bank”; I heard in a bio on Liberace that he used this to describe his reaction to a terrible review, but don’t know if that was the first usage.

            • BosonStark

              The first four examples in the Oxford English Dictionary all refer to Liberace the first being from the Daily Mirror
              of 26 September 1956: “On the occasion in New York at a concert in
              Madison Square Garden when he had the greatest reception of his life and
              the critics slayed him mercilessly, Liberace said: ‘The take was
              terrific but the critics killed me. My brother George cried all the way
              to the bank.’

              I think Liberace was quite a witty guy who developed a cult following, without robbing the Xenu out of them. I think he just never found the right girl.

            • richelieu jr

              Didn’t he say ‘mincing, or skipping all the way? If not, I’m disappointed..

              My grandma was so in love with him…. Anyone seen images from the Michael Douglas biopic?

            • Midwest Mom

              Special to the Bunker! Exclusive footage! “I wish my brother George was here.”

              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcqmvGVH9c0

        • Captain Howdy

          Ha Ha..who would have thunk back in the 90’s that Tom Cruise and “batshit crazy” would become synonymous thanks to a bunch of juvenile delinquents calling themselves “Anonymous”. Thank Xenu I lived long enough to see it.

  • Some of the earliest reports (which I can no longer find) surrounding Jett Travolta’s death mention John in the ambulance shouting at Jett’s body, calling for him to “come back”.

    Sounds like JT was trying to use his OT Powers to save his son… And it worked about as well as you’d expect.

    • blissfulldreams

      but at the same time

      when your loved one is dying in front of you many people have been known to tell/scream at them NOT to fukeing leave them to come back to them Not to go i know i did when my mother died and i’m Not a sciontologist

      • Davka

        Thank you for saying that – I was going to say also, it very simply could have been the anguished utterance of a grieving father, OT or not.

    • The scene in “Far and Away” when Cruise has fallen from a horse, and appears dead, the camera shot is supposed to be the viewpoint of Cruise as a spirit, rising in the air, up about 100 feet, until wife Nicole does the equivalent of the “you come back to this body” process on Cruise. She ought to have aimed her shouts up in the air, to where Cruise was fleeing as the soul that Cruise is/was at that moment, as depicted by the elevating camera angle.

      All in the know Scientologists aware of the “You bring that body back to life” process, gasped that Nicole was essentially doing this process, on Tom, in the movie.

      • In the Hubbard training films for auditors, there’s one that shows the various types of “Assists” including the “You bring that body back to life” process.

        I think the man in the church training film, who plays the role of the helpful Scientologist who shouts the commands to this “You bring this body back to life” process, is the same man who with Gold Base Security Guard Danny Dunnigan, jumped and shoved Anon Orange’s face into the dirt, years later, when Anon Orange supposedly strayed too far onto the cult compound territory at Gilman Hot Springs.

      • In the “Assists Processing Handbook”

        http://www.amazon.com/Assists-Processing-Handbook-Ron-Hubbard/dp/0884048268

        thre are assists for heart attack, terror stomach, obsessive nosebleed, paralysis, anxiety stomach, and even one for “someone who feels everyone is hostile to him”

        There’s the common cold assist, “handle a limp” assist, and finally the “bring back to life” assist.

        “Come back and bring this body to life!”

        “….I order you….!”

        “Think of your poor auditor!”

        pages 262-263 of the above spiral bound book.

        “…Someone who has done a bunk must be handled within three to four minutes….”

        This assist and many of the others are prime candidates for scrutiny, to say the least.

        • richelieu jr

          And of course the ‘Handle a limp wrist assist’, which s called ‘Scientology…

          • blissfulldreams

            ‘Handle a limp wrist assist’

            i swear sometimes reading on here is like reading cockney rhyming slang

            limp wrist=gay
            handle assist= feel
            so what that then say’s is you coped a hand job with a gay guy

            • richelieu jr

              Ha! Love it!
              xo,
              d”

              “Glory is fleeting but obscurity is forever.” — Napoleon

        • grundoon

          “Obsessive nosebleed”??

      • N. Graham

        Of course, Tom wasn’t actually leaving his body, it was just externalization of his wish to be taller.

    • But he couldn’t manage Tone 40 because he’s too Tone 1.1

    • The “come back” thing is not only common in reality, it’s incredibly common in fantasy. The idea of the soul or spirit or whatever it is hearing the loved one begging for them to return, the soul being told it still has work to do, etc., is not something original to Hubbard. He just stole it and made it stupid.

    • Sister727

      Probably one of the saddest examples of a clam finding out lrh was nothing but bullshit

  • DMSTCC

    I hope at least one couple showed up as Sid Vicous and Nancy Spungen in Dallas last night.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Baahaahaa

    • John P.

      Sid Viscous would be the perfect celebrity to host the grand opening of the Oiliness Table.

      Oh, you meant Sid Vicious… never mind…

      • Whenever The Sex Pistols played live they had to have a guy off stage actually playing the base line that Sid was supposed to be playing… he was so off his head that he never noticed that he, himself wasn’t actually playing.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          Sid couldn’t play the bass.

          I mean it.
          He didn’t know how and had zero talent to learn it.

        • Captain Howdy

          Not true. I saw the Pistols and Sid’s horrible bass playing came through loud and clear. Sid wasn’t that horrible in the beginning, he wasn’t Glen for sure. but his playing ability declined rapidly as his heroin intake increased.

          • …. hmmm, I guess you saw one before they decided to do something about… saw the story on one of those BBC3 docs….

            • Captain Howdy

              No, actually I saw the last show Sid ever did with the Pistols at Winterland. Go to youtube and look at any live Pistols video with Sid and listen. That was Sid making that racket. On “Never Mind The Bollocks” Steve Jones supposedly played all the bass parts.

          • richelieu jr

            Thank you Captain, I was about to post nearly the same thing;.. Even when Sid was out of it– That became the show….

  • blissfulldreams

    well thats the first time i have ever heard of someone of “doing a bunk” in that kind of reference it normally refers to someone in the uk
    1) skipping out of paying a hotel bill
    2) running away from people who they owe money too
    3) on the run from the police

    • The Dark Avenger

      The American equivalent is “on the lam”, but usually means #3. He probably appropriated it after hearing someone from the UK use it in conversation.

      • richelieu jr

        Referring to him taking to the seas no doubt…

    • I’ve heard that someone’s “done a bunk” but never that someone will “do a bunk”, or “did a bunk”. It’s always used in the tense: I have, you have, he/she/it has “done a bunk”.

      • blissfulldreams

        true but if your the one that is actually doing it what’s it called then?

  • I am so inspired today. LRH and Ray Lewis have my horizontal growth out of control.

  • Peter Robinson

    As always the words of Hubbard are a stream of utter nonsense consciousness. No evidence for what he was claiming. Just ridiculous, poorly expressed anecdote. And for a ‘qualified physicist’ making 90 m.p.h. equivalent to two light years a second seems a tad of a stretch!

    And Messrs Rathburn and Rinder still believe Hubbard was on to something good? If nothing before proved he really was an addled nutcase this must make it CLEAR, surely.

    The sheer craziness of his ideas, and the almost impenetrable way he wrote and spoke would be laughable, if it wasn’t for the fact that so many people have bought the myth that he was a genius, and spent so much money doing so. More proof that Miscavige is no more than an extremely faithful disciple of the madman founder.

    As for Cruise perpetuating such garbage, the only reasonable conclusion must be that he is certifiably mad too.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      I was going to riff on the 90 mph/light year thing too.
      WTF?

      • BosonStark

        Traveling at 90 miles an hour or 2 light-years a second? Two light-years a second would be 12 trillion miles a second. Dr. Hubtard gets the speed of out-of-body travel mixed up with the speed he goes in his Buick, when he’s going real fast. What a loon.

        I don’t think I’ve heard this particular LRH babble before. I mean you really have to be brainwashed to tolerate something like this. No wonder why Rathbun’s followers think his interpretation of “the tech” makes sense. Compared to LRH, Marty is the picture of lucidity.

        • I agree that to our ears in the 21st century the stupidity of the statement is obvious. But we have to remember that the lecture occurred in 1972. The technology that we consider everyday necessities were still in the realm of science fiction (widely available personal audio and video communication via cell phone, personal computers, permanent, albeit limited, human presence in space, even the amount of diversity and choice we have in television). The 90 mile-an-hour, two light-year-a-second comment probably wouldn’t have registered as incongruous.

          • BosonStark

            The state of technology aside, it has a making-it-up-as-he-goes-along quality that seems neither amusing or credible.

            For example, well before 1972, in the segments of the Twilight Zone, Rod Serling would pose fascinating social, scientific, technological and philosophical questions and scenarios that even when unlikely or improbable, were INTELLIGENT! Some of them were playful. I realize he wrote only some of the stories.

            For example, how would people behave, if a nuclear bomb alarm went off and there was only one shelter in the neighborhood? His sci fi posed questions — good questions. It didn’t have all the answers.

            If a person ever did come along with “all the answers,” why the hell would it be a babbling buffoon/liar with bloated claims and wild stories like Hubbard?

            • Observer

              *applauds*

            • BuryTheNuts2

              I am pretty sure I have all the answers.
              I just can’t figure out the question.

            • stillgrace

              The question is: “Would the other guy tell me that this is the road to certain death?”

            • richelieu jr

              Why didn’t I think of that?

            • BuryTheNuts2

              That screwed me up for life!

            • monkeyknickers

              Listening to that vid was exactly like the Sundays I had to spend with my great-uncle, who sat in front of the heater watching Price Is Right and telling tall tales about working with the CIA. I just can’t understand – really – how you can listen to that and not instantly say, shit. That’s a crazy ass old man.

            • richelieu jr

              Sometimes I think Hubbard pissed out the Blarney Stone with his ‘calcaires’…

            • It’s absolutely true that “The Twilight Zone” represented a pinnacle in quality television. But remember that at the same time it was on shows like “Lost in Space”, “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea” were also on the schedule.

          • Uh, no. To anybody even remotely educated, that would have registered as not just incongruous, but a clear sign of an incredible level of ignorance, back then just as it does now.

            • Are_sics

              Correct. I was wondering if there was joke I was missing. In 1971, we knew what “light year” meant as well as we do now. LRH sounds like he just doesn’t care what he says at all. It’s not even like he’s trying to be funny — that would sound more careful, even.

            • You’re right about the remotely educated who think. But there instances where even the most educated of us shut down our thought processes. What about people like the our contemporaries who blithely shout “Keep the government’s hands off my Medicare”? As C.S. Lewis wrote in “The Screwtape Letters”

              “[At one time people] still connected thinking with doing and were prepared to alter their way of life as the result of a chain of reasoning … [Today a person] has been accustomed, ever since he was a boy, to having a dozen incompatible philosophies dancing together inside his head. He doesn’t think of doctrines as ‘true’ or ‘false’, but as ‘academic’ or ‘practical’, ‘outworn’ or ‘contemporary’, ‘conventional’ or ‘ruthless’. Jargon, not argument, is your best ally…By the very act of arguing, you awake [a person’s] reason; and once it is awake, who can foresee the result? Even if a particular train of thought can be twisted so as to end in our favour, you will have been strengthening in [him] the fatal habit of attending to universal issues and withdrawing his attention from the stream of immediate sense experiences. Your business is to fix his attention on the stream. Teach him to call it ‘real life’ and don’t let him ask what he means by ‘real.'”

              It seems to me that the whole enterprise of Scientology is an exercise in fixing people’s attention on the stream to prevent their thinking. Word clearing is an example. If you are instructed to stop and look up every word you’re unsure of you’ll have difficulty in keeping straight the intent of the selection you’re reading.

          • It would only not register as incongruous to people with a severe lack of education and critical thinking skills. That isn’t to say they were stupid or crazy. But they were definitely ignorant (kept so by Scientology) and whatever critical thinking skills they had, were scrambled by immersion in the cult.

          • grundoon

            Even in 1872 it would have registered as incongruous.

          • grundoon

            The first quantitative estimate of the speed of light was made in 1676 by Rømer…. From the observation that the periods of Jupiter’s innermost moon Io appeared to be shorter when the Earth was approaching Jupiter than when receding from it, he concluded that light travels at a finite speed, and estimated that it takes light 22 minutes to cross the diameter of Earth’s orbit. Christiaan Huygens combined this estimate with an estimate for the diameter of the Earth’s orbit to obtain an estimate of speed of light of 220,000 km/s, 26% lower than the actual value. In his 1704 book Opticks, Isaac Newton reported Rømer’s calculations of the finite speed of light and gave a value of “seven or eight minutes” for the time taken for light to travel from the Sun to the Earth (the modern value is 8 minutes 19 seconds).

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_of_light#First_measurement_attempts

    • sharon brown

      My sentiments Exactly ! I did the ” stress ” test when I was about 15 in NY and the things they were trying to tell me about myself and what they could fix ,even at that age sounded like BS to me. I just can’t understand how they can take any of it seriously ! It’s even worse when your parent believes in the fact that they can cure you by just saying some words , and take you off of medication prescribed by a doctor. How many more Jett’s are out there, victims of their parents beliefs.So sad, smh . I believe Tom Is definitely Delusional!

  • As far as this so-called LRH great charisma thing, sorry, I don’t see it and never will.

    And what is that woman doing with that huge sword in the poster? It looks like she’s delivering the final stab to someone through the heart. Just a weird picture for any occasion.

    • Observer

      I posted the same thing before I saw this. It’s creepy.

    • stillgrace

      LOL! When I first saw that, I immediately scrolled down to the bottom of the poster, in total dread of what I would find at the tip of that sword!

    • grundoon

      It’s not a sword. She’s getting ready for an icepick lobotomy. Or a Dianetic abortion.

  • stillgrace

    On the flyer for the CCHR Banquet, they list the address, the times for various events, and how they want you to dress. There is, however, no date listed for the event. If you’re a $cientologist in the LA area, do you just “know” when it takes place? Do you have to call to find out the date? Paranoia in LA about protesters? Or am I missing something?

    • I thought this was hilarious – another example of their super powers.

    • Semper Phi

      If you’re a $cientologist in the LA area, you’re getting barraged with telephone calls from staff members giving the specific information. They probably started event call-in a month ago and have been confirming which people are attending. Then they’ll call all the confirmed people and re-confirm them. Then they’ll call them again right before the event date to make sure the re-confirms are sticking and making sure they have all the correct date and time info, while the evil SPs don’t.

  • Observer

    “(At least, that’s what his most recent biographers keep telling us, that Hubbard was the most charming human being who ever lived. What, you don’t hear that in this actual tape of the man? Sacrilege.)” Nope, not getting it at all. I think his charisma must have worked on certain personalities, or it was due to something about the culture of the time, or after someone had been through the conditioning. There’s no doubt the laughter in the background was … well, the only word I can come up with for it is “adoring.” All I can think of as I listen to him spewing one flatulent lie after another is that video clip of him with his horrible snaggletoothed smirk, and it’s ruining my enjoyment of my coffee.

    Nashville flyer: hahaha soap bubbles! Is that a photographic representation of LRH’s “wisdom”?

    CCHR: they’re probably scared the 15-term MoC will be inundated by outrage and cancel on them if they say who it is. Is that girl driving her sword into the shriveled black heart of a Big Pharma minion?

    Rock of Ages: I wonder if anyone has told the Dallas org about this wonderful invention called Photoshop. They don’t have to cut and paste pictures out of magazines anymore.

    • blissfulldreams

      the Rock of Ages one reminds me of the game cover for Rock Band

    • Clearly the audio alone leaves much to be desired. I wonder if he was good at maintaining eye contact with his audience, building a rapport and making them believe that he was addressing each of them directly (sort of like Reagan’s or Clinton’s ability to connect). That would go a long way in explaining his charisma.

      • John P.

        I’ve continued to ponder the question of Hubbard’s alleged charisma for some time. Increasingly, I think that there wasn’t any, and I think Hubbard actually knew it.

        Unlike many cults, where the leader is a key part of the attraction, and where the leader often has some sort of charisma (or at least decent presentation skills), when you get into Scientology, you never really get much exposure to Hubbard until you are have been in for a while and until the mindfk has well and truly started. In other words, Hubbard is invisible until much later on in the process of indoctrination. And it’s also interesting that they didn’t really do that much video of Hubbard in the mid to late 1970s, even after relatively cheap video equipment became available.

        So my thought is that the only time Hubbard had to get up in front of an audience was when he was surrounded by the truest of the true believers. He never had to deal with hecklers, or even with a mildly skeptical audience who weren’t convinced of what he had to say. He only dealt with people who already had been taught that he was the Smartest. Guy. Ever. So it didn’t take any charisma at all to get belly laughs from kids in the Sea Org, or from anyone else in the audience. And with the punitive mechanisms of “ethics,” “sec checks” and the RPF, there was really no likelihood of a heckler standing up and saying “which is it, Ron? 90 miles an hour or 4 million miles per second? I thought you were a physicist!”

        • BuryTheNuts2

          “which is it, Ron? 90 miles an hour or 4 million miles per second? I thought you were a physicist!”

          ^^^^
          John P…I knew that little bit of LRH dayta (i.e.bullshit) would eventually get to you!

        • The kids, some teenagers or younger, were only a few thousand miles from home on a small boat in the middle of the Mediterranean under the control of a lunatic who liked to throw people overboard for fun. Of course they laughed along with him.

          • richelieu jr

            You make that sound like a bad thing!

            I mean, it could have been worse- They could have been smoking dope and listening to Rock n’ Roll, the Devil’s music!

        • Bob

          John P. for those of us who got in early and were electrified by his claims and some of the lower bridge wins, his charisma was really built slowly for us. It was not his delivery so much as it was our growing awe of the sheer volume of lectures and how everything seemed to tie together. His charisma is dependent on the persons acceptance of the brilliance of his applied philosophy.
          From then on he could have recited the phone book and it would have been considered spellbinding.

        • I think you’re on to something. Hubbard invented the rah-rah event that DM continues to use where the chance of a hostile audience is nonexistent. The auditing process and the the training regimens would have already softened up the attendees long before exposure to Hubbard. The initial draw for people would have been the allure of self-improvement or for some, the lure of power over others. Those that stayed long-term would have been emotionally and financially invested in the scheme and would have most likely willed their belief in it no matter who was delivering the message.

        • OK, so 90 miles an hour is 1.5 miles a minute or 1/40 mile per second. If that equals 2 light-years per second, then a light-year is 1/80 mile, or 66 feet.

          • John P.

            Robert, your math exercise is oddly reminiscent of the Bob & Doug McKenzie comedy sketch where Doug explains that a Canadian 6-pack has 42 beers, because it’s just like how you convert Fahrenheit to Celsius: double it and add 30. Since a Canadian 6-pack is metric, it must thus contain 42 beers. QED!

            • nessness

              John P, you must be from upper NY state to know so much..do you know the secret of zed?

            • John P.

              I do know the “secret of Zed.” And I am sorry that so many children from Canada are now learning to say “zee” like the rest of upstate New York. But I don’t think “zed” is a secret any more, after it was one of the central issues brought to the fore in the original rant in those Molson “I Am Canadian” commercials. My favorite, of that whole series, has to be this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XdLheUC7kA

            • nessness

              ah. but then there is club zed, and zeddy, even more embarrassing canadianisms, and a damn fine teddy bear to boot (rhymes with about according to americans…) google club zed zellers because I am canadian! and I can’t seem to figure out how to add a link… how sad

              Did you know that Joe Canadian now is a cohost of As It Happens? I am so in awe of your American knowledge of your northern neighbours… you are indeed one in a 90 mile an hour light year…. and I mean that with total tongue in cheek and with real respect and fan-dom of NPR.

            • nessness

              by the way, I have worn a canoe as a hat….. so to speak.

      • richelieu jr

        My feeling is that he played the “Aw shucks”, “Everyman”, “You can do this too!” thing and that’s why he’s always being self-effacing, playing down the ‘guru’ thing so he gets a sort of– “If he’s that famous there MUST be something to it!” acceptance…

    • DMSTCC

      I do see at least some photoshoping. The crowd on one side is the reverse of the other. And, I think I see a couple of them flipping the bird.

  • sugarplumfairy

    “…And we wonder how many Scientologists are waking up this morning in a cold sweat after remembering the size of the checks they wrote last night…”

    Actually, IAS security thugs probably haven’t unlocked the doors yet.. The poor suckers are probably still there being power-regged..

    • RMycroft

      Writing one big check is just blood in the water. Feeding frenzy!

  • Ziontologist

    This lecture excerpt is Hubbard in his “tall tales” mode. He describes the world through the lens of his sci-fi reality as if it’s completely normal, and the believers laugh because they’re in on the joke no normal person would get.
    The Hub told many variations of this story of leaving your body and coming back. Always as if it’s completely normal and routine. That’s the gag. He told one story about the spirit of a prostitute switching bodies with the First Lady of The United States, and all the ensuing hilarity. “Oldest trick in the book,” he said, as the crowd laughed.

    • John P.

      At least there’s a pun revolving around the word “trick” in the story about the First Lady and the prostitute to make it (slightly) funny, in case the rest of the joke falls flat.

      • richelieu jr

        “in case”?

    • Observer

      Judging by the OT testimonials in Advance magazine, clearly not everyone was in on the “joke”.

      I have never been a fan of tall tales, or “lies” as I call them, and the fact that he was able to spit them out in such a rapid-fire stream makes me extremely suspicious of anything he said at any time. In my bitter experience people who are such facile liars can’t be trusted in any area.

      • Indeed. In many cases, they are clever thieves as well.

      • Ziontologist

        “Judging by the OT testimonials in Advance magazine, clearly not everyone was in the joke.”

        Oh, but they were! Those are exactly the ones who would find The Hub’s jokes to be hilarious.

        • Observer

          Sorry, but given the scope and magnitude of LRH’s lies and fraud, the worshipfulness of his true believers, and the utter humorlessness of Scientology as a whole, I’m not buying it.

          • Ziontologist

            You didn’t hear the people laughing in today’s lecture excerpt?

            • Observer

              Yes I did, but there are different different laughs. This didn’t sound to me like a ha-ha-ha-what-a-funny-joke laugh. It sounded like the laugh of delight people laugh when they’ve discovered something wonderful.

              And if they thought it was a joke, why did (and do) they keep spending ridiculous amounts of money to get to OT where they were promised they could do all the things Hubbard was talking about in this lecture?

            • Ziontologist

              You are right about all of those things. And there was the joker-degrader rule that forbade Scientologistsfrom making jokes about Scientology or it’s “Founder.”
              But it was always OK to laugh at Hubbard’s jokes, even if you were in the middle of a course room, listening to a lecture on headphones.

            • Observer

              Just okay? Not mandatory? 😉

          • Captain Howdy

            I’ve said this before, but if scientology wasn’t so dangerous they’d be the kings of humoress. What do think attracted the kings of internet humor, Anonymous, to them in the first place ?

      • In A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, a teacher tells Francie that she needs to write stories, because otherwise she will become an inveterate liar. Francie does, thereby allowing herself an outlet for her fantasies and teaching herself the different between truth and fiction.

        LRH figured out that a lot of people did not understand the separation between truth and fiction. And so here was a captive audience to whom he could sell his absolutely terrible stories. His own wall between fantasy and reality was never that strong, and it seems to have crumbled entirely by the end of his life.

        I’ll listen to “tall tales” if they’re good stories. But LRH’s stories are just so dull, immature, hateful, and… well, yucky.

    • Maybe this is like Marty saying the Xenu story is an allegory. Or maybe it isn’t, depending on what’s needed at the time.

      • I still love it wen Marty goes with the allegory thing now. Makes me laugh every time. Wow …would i be pissed if i spent thousands of dollars only to find out it was all allegorical . A person could think they were ripped off or scammed or something 😉

        • richelieu jr

          Yes, remember the allegory of the fish and the loaves where Jesus divided everything up, then charged 1000 dollars a head and everyone left with an empty paper sack?

          Man, that was hilarious!

      • Ziontologist

        How is it an allegory?
        These people are indoctrinated into an alternate reality. Sharing their own humor is just another level group reinforcement, as stupid and disgusting it may sound to us.

        • Are_sics

          Well said. It is that.

        • BosonStark

          Xenu the Evil Galactic Overlord is an allegory for his brother, Xemu the Evil Galactic Overlord, or something like that.

      • Has Marty ever explained how that idiotic excuse for a story can be allegorical? What does it teach about the human condition, if it isn’t meant to be taken literally? I see nothing in it whatsoever.

    • RMycroft

      I’m amazed how Scientologists always claim to instinctively know when Hubbard was joking and when he was being dead serious. It would be interesting to test this by taking a sample group and separately testing them with a series of texts and lectures, and see how much agreement is in the results.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        That would be an interesting test although I think we likely know what those results would be.

      • richelieu jr

        If there is any single group which is disqualified from knowing if L Ron was joking or serious, it is certainly Scientologists…

    • richelieu jr

      As opposed to Hubbard’s more usual, ‘Just the facts’ documentarian mode…

    • Are_sics

      Sure, he used that knowing wink to reassure his followers that they were “in” on a joke for which he was Source. Only none of it is funny, and none of it is actually an apt metaphor for anything real or helpful. He’s really, really tedious.

  • BuryTheNuts2

    Is anyone else craving a Cohiba? Or is it just me?

    • 1subgenius

      Meh.

      Casa Blanca Jeroboam

  • Ze Moo

    Re the last picture: ” I spent 20 thousand dollars, endured 5 sec checks, disconnected from all my previous friends and family and got a third mortgage and all I got was this 8/11 sheet of paper?”

  • mook
    • mirele

      Amy Adams was at that party. Hmmm. That could have gotten uncomfortable.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        So was Jennifer Garner. Wasn’t she his first choice for the Stepford wife auditions?

        • blissfulldreams

          did anyone read the comment section it sound like a love feast for tom i think thats where all the OSA have gone LOL

          • BuryTheNuts2

            Yeah, It made me want to lose my morning coffee.
            Idiots.

          • OSA is all over any article about Tom Cruise. They apparently think it’s the most important entheta or whatever it’s called. Far more important to claim that Tom Cruise is “hot” (pfft) than that Narconon doesn’t kill people.

      • 1subgenius

        “Once that conversation was over Amy Adams stopped to say ‘Hello’.”
        Wonder how that went.

      • Semper Phi

        The article says Joaquin Phoenix was there, too. Doesn’t say that he stopped by to say “hello,” though.

      • mook

        things are gonna get more awkward tonight at the Grammys, because Nicole Kidman is going to be in the audience with her hubby Keith Urban + longtime CoS memberr Chick Corea is performing.

        I’ve heard a rumor from a friend of a friend that Lisa M. Presley was supposed to present tonight, but backed out because she would’ve been presenting alongside JLo (whom she hates. more on that feud later).

        • Captain Howdy

          You actually need a reason to hate JLo ?

          • OMG ~ you are my kindred spirit

            • Captain Howdy

              See above ^^^^

        • Oh….please be sure to share the LMP vs JLo feud. That’s one I’ve never heard before.

          JLo is an talentless hack, IMO. But she has flawless skin (I’ve seen her up close and was just amazed at how much her skin seemed to glow).

          • mook

            It started back in 2003, after LMP said some disparaging comments about Hr ex hubby MJ on the Howard Stern show. a few days after that, she had a reservation at the JLo owned restaurant Madres (now closed). It turns out that MJ and several members if his family also had a reservation that night. LMP saw this as a good chance to apologize and mend fences. when she got to the restaurant she found out that her reservation had been mysteriously canceled….by JLo!!

    • That’s my lead story at my blog http://scientologybollocks.blogspot.co.uk …. I’ve very slightly photoshopped his face for the lead pic. I also mentioned that I think it’s the first time a drunk pic of Cruise has hit the net…. obviously under a lot of stress [about bloody time!]

      • villagedianne

        Sounds like Cruise is tired of trying to control everything all of the time.
        Wonder if he drinks the same brand of liquor as Miscavige?

        • he always struck me as a Cosmopolitan or Appletini kind of guy

          • BuryTheNuts2

            I am thinking Pomegranate Martinis…

            You know how TC loves his anti-oxidants.

            • Captain Howdy

              Tom drinks Zombies.

            • richelieu jr

              Now, now- As far as we know he is not a cannibal!

            • Captain Howdy

              Zombie Recipe:

              1/2 oz Bacardi® 151 rum
              1 oz pineapple juice
              1 oz orange juice
              1/2 oz apricot brandy
              1 tsp sugar
              2 oz light rum
              1 oz dark rum
              1 oz lime juice

              Now that’s a drink !

            • q-bird

              holy crap – you could damn near light this drink on fire! 3 & 1/2 oz’s – another 1/2 shot and it would be illegal to serve (in my state).

        • Midwest Mom

          This is an obvious pre-arranged PR piece set up by Tom’s people, so he is desperately trying to control his press coverage by allowing Daily Mail photographers close access to him at this event. The cultsters were tipped off ahead of time to comment on the piece, as evidence by the amount of likes for positive comments about him and dislikes for comments unfavorable or not about him.

          I love it that there is a photo showing his Herman Munster lifts.

          • villagedianne

            Yeah, that occured to me after I wrote the comment. It’s like the old joke: To succeed as an actor you need sincerety. If you can fake that, you can fake anything.

      • stillgrace

        That’s a pretty good shoop.

    • Bradley Cooper! I wonder if he and Tom had any encounter. Cooper has been in the media a lot lately talking about mental health, being Oscar-nominated for playing a character whose life improves when he relents and decides to take his meds.

      • Midwest Mom

        Tom doesn’t mingle or cooperate with Coopers, silly! Whether it is Bradley, Paulette or Anderson.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          You are sizzling today MM!
          Oh, and so is Bradley 🙂

          • Midwest Mom

            Aww, you’re sweet. I like to sizzle when I’m bakin’. (I’m trying to decide between baking a coconut layer cake or a coconut cream pie for dessert).

        • Captain Howdy

          You’re on a roll MM.

          • Midwest Mom

            Thanks, Captain! I have my doughments. 🙂

    • noseinabk

      Another odd celeb mix. Travolta and Kidmans husband Keith Urban. Awkward!

      http://www.countryweekly.com/news/want-see-keith-urban-and-john-travolta-sing-together

      • Captain Howdy

        “Why she had to blow I don’t know…”

        • blissfulldreams

          tut tut capt if you don’t know why a lady blow’s at your age

  • California

    A new L. Ron Hubbard commercial on CBS: At approximately 6:33 am PST there was a 30 second commercial during “Sunday Morning” extolling the virtues of L. Ron Hubbard. What rubbish!

    Tony, who do we complain to at CBS?

    • 1subgenius

      Google is your friend.

    • The “Youngest Eagle Scout” one?

      • California

        Yes!

    • Midwest Mom

      Was it a national spot or a local affiliate spot?

      • California

        Sigh. I do not know and I do not know how to find out…..

        • Start with the local affiliate, because 1) the chance that it is a local spot-buy is much better than the chance of a national buy, and 2) if it does turn out to be national, the station will be able to tell you who in the network hierarchy would be your best call.

    • Trustmeonthis

      Call your local station.

      • California

        Monday morning, first thing.

        • Still_On_Your_Side

          Speaking of D.C., I suggest that we call congress, not on the ads, but on tax exemption. Those who have been in the CoS, if you choose to do so, tell the congressman/woman, it will have a big impact. Please don’t assume this won’t work. It has on other issues. All it takes is a few people in congress requesting research into the events surrounding the secret IRS agreement, the payments out of tax exempt money that have been made for harassment and abuse purposes, the violations of child labor laws, and so on. Hearings could be possible.

          There is at least one Nick Xenophon waiting to be uncovered in the US congress. http://Www.contactingthecongress.org appears to be update, click on your state and a list of local senators and congressmen/women will appear.

          • Still_On_Your_Side

            Let me add, I am very appreciative and somewhat in awe of Tony’s courage in exposing the cult day after day for over 17 years. I don’t have his courage, so I will contact congress because it is the least I can do to try and stop the cult.

  • John P.

    Hubbard lecture:We get an insight into why the cult fought so hard to get the IRS exemption:

    As a matter of fact, Washington, DC got very mad at a Scientologist one time. […] He just had an unpleasant afternoon with IRS, and he came back and he just kicked the bucket. That was it, colder than ice and he just wouldn’t pick up the body again. And they told him and they told him and they told him and he wouldn’t.

    So apparently the only force in the universe that is almost as deadly to your average thetan as the “psychs” is the IRS. Scientology is apparently thus doing us all a favor with their tireless anti-tax crusade.

    My particular favorite is at the end, as you commented:

    On assist, when you’re speaking with medicos, you talk to them in terms of restoring calm in blood and nerve channels. Notice that is in there because that isn’t what you’re doing. You’re [actually] giving him back the havingness of his body.

    Obviously. Any doctor will understand it completely and approve of it utterly as valid medicine when you’re “restoring calm in blood and nerve channels.” On the other hand, they’ll think you’re completely nuts when you are engaged in some sort of doingness of the havingness.

    Lifetime IAS member campaign: It might be harder to get 13 new IAS members than you expect. Don’t you basically have to be a lifetime IAS member to take almost any courses these days? So the cult’s ability to meet this goal would be a function of their ability to bring in “fresh meat.” 13 new suckers members after the Super Bowl ad? It ought to be easier than easy with the rush of interest that they are undoubtedly congratulating themselves about.

    LRH Birthday Event in Nashville: You know the word “epic” has jumped the shark when the cult is now using it in all their advertising materials. Time for the cool kids to get a new word denoting “massive” or “enormous in scale.” I am sure that the ten day delay from the live event on March 13 is so that they can edit the crowd shots in the videos to make it appear that the 2,200 seats in Ruth Eckerd Hall are actually full.

    CCHR Banquet: The funniest thing about the ad is the fact that it lacks a date… I wonder if this is to prevent protesters from showing up at the appointed hour. The LA Bonaventure sounds like a classy enough place (it’s not that great, actually; I’ve stayed there for convenience with client meetings instead of my usual Beverly Hills/Bel Air haunts). But it’s not a huge destination for local business meetings to my knowledge, because it’s downtown. The ad also doesn’t publish the name of the room. So my guess is that the cult is going to see how many people they rope into this event before they finalize the room. Nothing says “fail” like booking a ballroom for 1,200 and having 27 actually show up. If we had a date for the event, then someone can call the hotel the evening of to get the name of the room and figure out how many people actually attended.

    Dallas “Rock of Ages” Party: The guitarist looks more than a little like Tom Cruise. Since the cult rips off all sorts of cultural icons to publicize these events (Star Wars, etc), it would be funny if they’re now ripping off their own… And of course, I would be stunned to learn about what IAS is doing to safeguard us — I hadn’t heard about the “proposed legislation (federal and state) that will in essence turn U.S. schools in to [sic] mental health clinics.” Naturally, I’d love to learn all about this, especially since federal legislation isn’t enough; they need redundant state laws to guarantee the triumph of psychiatry!

    • blissfulldreams

      As a matter of fact, Washington, DC got very mad at a Scientologist one time. […] He just had an unpleasant afternoon with IRS, and he came back and he just kicked the bucket.

      that reference got me to it’s so cold and compassion-less no empathy in it at all

      • That’s one of the problems with the whole lecture, mocking the deaths of others. For someone who has policies against “joking and degrading”, it seems they apply to everyone except himself.

      • John P.

        Oh, and the other thing about the Scientologist who croaked on contact with the IRS (which I am sure never actually happened): wouldn’t any Scientologist of grade “clear” and above have Sooper Powerz that would enable you to “postulate” the havingness of the financialness to deal with the taxingness of the IRS? Or is this story actually an admission that the tech doesn’t work; that the average Scientologist can die of fright far faster than the average human?

        • blissfulldreams

          Or is this story actually an admission that the tech doesn’t work; that the average Scientologist can die of fright far faster than the average human?

          oh ^^This^^

        • RMycroft

          Xenu’s IRS mopped the floor with billions of beings who didn’t have all the R6 implants and body thetans slowing them down.

          Tax collectors obviously have special powers that are immune to OT abilities and Libertarians.

        • Poison Ivy

          I think the subtext of the story is, the Scientologist “doing a bunk” was a passive-aggressive fuck you to the IRS & “Washington”, who were frustrated because now that the guy had dropped his body, they couldn’t get his money. Oh, but he had the last laugh. He came right back as a 2 year old with a proclivity for Cigars…

          Typical Hubbard passive-aggressive revenge story.

          • Ziontologist

            Or Hubbard knew a guy who smoked cigars he wished would drop dead.

          • Vistaril

            I think the subtext of the story is, the Scientologist “doing a bunk”
            was a passive-aggressive fuck you to the IRS & “Washington”, who
            were frustrated because now that the guy had dropped his body, they
            couldn’t get his money. Oh, but he had the last laugh. He came right
            back as a 2 year old with a proclivity for Cigars

            Heh! Good point and certainly more cheerful a subtext than I discern. Isn’t The Hub suggesting that human life is so disposable a commodity that he finds it perfectly normal, laudatory even, for a Scientologist to commit suicide over a squabble with the tax department? Makes it easier when the going gets tough for The Hub to order his minions to drop their bodies . . . no big deal, really.

        • richelieu jr

          The problem is the IRS’s “‘Busting Thier Asses’-ness” somehow trumped the Hubbard-ites “‘Sneaking Around Like Idiots and Making Illegal Photocopies’-ness” and it was “I’m Rubber, You’re Glue Infinity No Callbacks” at the time…

      • I’m not quite sure I understand what the point of the story is. “Washington DC” (the whole city?) got mad at this Scientologist because he had the freaking nerve to up and die? Did he leave his corpse inconveniently blocking the hallway in the IRS office building? Well, that’ll show’em!

    • Truthiwant

      I can see it now. David Miscavige at the IAS event making his speech…

      “Well, ladies and gentlemen, we are there. We have almost cleared the planet. Infact, the IAS membership has shot up towards the stars. No, nowhere near our wildest expectaitions, No, not 12, no, not 13, but, Ladies and Gentlemen, I give it to you now, an unprecedented 14 new members!!”

      Applause and cheering from the audience with everybody on their feet all looking at a massive photo of LRH…

      “Hip hip hoorah,hip hip hoorah,hip hip hoorah”

      • DMSTCC

        If they go over 13 then the whole effort loses meaning

        • Truthiwant

          Well you know they love to exaggerate their statistics.

      • richelieu jr

        Are you idding? These yahoos are counting down LIBRAIRIES for Xenus’s Sake!

      • John P.

        13 members. Not exactly planet clearing stuff.

        Exactly. In 2003, the most recent year I could find stats for, there were 151,192 live births in LA County. That’s 17.4 births per hour. So if you’re going to take an entire month to get 13 new IAS members in LA County, that’s going backwards at a rate guaranteed never to catch up. In other words, this campaign is a steaming shit heap of fail.

    • Bob

      John P. to be considered a member you only have to do a year membership. So fresh meat is not required. Also the CCHR events get a consistent turnout so the room is set far in advance. Also there is not really any place to picket near the Bonaventure hotel so not sure why there is no date. I don’t think to ward off detractors.
      Regarding the IAS using CCHR information to scare and shock Scn Sheeple into donating. CCHR does not get money from the IAS to fund the operation. They have to raise their own funds. The IAS occasionally donates videos and printed material for CCHR. So it is more false PR to extract “money for nothing”.

    • You’re right…..the Bonaventure is a run down and overpriced hotel but they hose (er, I mean host) the CCHR event every year. I recall a good sized Anon protest there I think in 2009 where they were chased off by hotel security. The Bonaventure will struggle to keep up with the new Wilshire Grand once that opens up (will be the tallest high rise in LA) and the LA Live section of downtown is rather nice so old dinosaurs like the Bonaventure will have problems in the upcoming years.

      The only reason I like the Bonaventure is because it was the filming location of my favorite Mel Brooks movie, “High Anxiety”. I love that movie!

    • For the record there is no more anti-tax crusade. They only pushed that as a dig at the IRS before getting tax-exempt status. Several years ago I was informed that one of OSA’s duties was now ensuring that all Scientologists were fully in compliance with paying their taxes. A little creepy if you ask me. Oddly enough this doesn’t seem to apply to the orgs paying their property taxes though. Typical…

      • richelieu jr

        Give unto Cesar.. And give unto Hubbard and Miscavige what is.. You, your children’s, your friend’s…

    • richelieu jr

      Actually, I think you (John P) calculated that 13 is about the number of recruits they could hope to keep from the whole Superbowl Shuffle, didn’t you…?

      So if they all chip in 5k, that makes– Miscavige a big old chump…

    • The guitarist’s head looks pasted on.

  • BuryTheNuts2

    That last group with the shiny smiles and certificates is kinda weird.
    Why are they dressed like they are getting ready to clean stalls?

    • DMSTCC

      That could be what the certs were for.

      • stillgrace

        I like your comments, DMSTCC, however, I doubt you’ve ever cleaned a stall. A nice, big, flat-edge shovel is required to move that kinda crap.

        • DMSTCC

          I spent two years in my mid 20’s working for a guy that had 12 horses at his home. Guess what I did on weekends for extra cash. 🙂

          • stillgrace

            I believe you. That sounds like horse heaven. The most I had to clean up after was three.

            • DMSTCC

              They treated their horses like the crap my nice, big, flat-edge shovel was for. Three box cars modified into stalls with 6 inches of sh*t when I first showed up. The horses were just a status symbol for his wife and it made me sick. Google maps show that there are no more horses on the property, thank God.

            • stillgrace

              OK, that is seriously sad.

            • DMSTCC

              Ever try to corral an escaped donkey? Even OSA would get frustrated.

            • stillgrace

              I helped once. But never alone. The task requires many people to surround the beastie. Otherwise, a donkey will just run you ragged! The most difficult equine task I ever undertook was training a mustang to stand still for the farrier. Learned much, I did.

            • Still_On_Your_Side

              Cruelty to animals or children is unfathomable, which is why Jenna’s book is so painful to read.

    • Overtigo

      Probably the only duds they can afford now….lucky they have clothing at all, I reckon 🙂

  • 1subgenius

    “rock star” duds

    Duds? How hip.

    • That word is “hep”, daddy-o. If you mis-spell it, you make it harder for a PC to word-clear, and that could lead to a big MU, like trying to dress up in Milk Duds.

      • richelieu jr

        Sorry Charlie, that’s ‘hap’ to you establishment types in your FBI shoes and CIA threads…

    • Midwest Mom

      I like to wear my Ilk Duds when I log on to the Underground Bunker.

  • Wow, Scientologists seem to play dress-up a lot. What’s up with that?

    • stillgrace

      I think it’s a Hubbard policy. Here’s Davey last Easter. Kudos to Namenlos, WWP.

    • stillgrace

      The word on Hollywood Boulevard was that Katie Holmes was very upset on October 31, 2010, when Tom went trick-or-treating with COB without her.

      And there’s that famous photo of Hubbard and his apprentice taken at the last Beer and Cheese party that LRH attended.

    • In his horrible fiction, Hubbard is obsessed with what his heroes wear. Like a bad historical romance novelist, but more so. Appearances were everything to this guy — you can tell who’s good by who’s pretty and clean, and who’s evil by who’s ugly and dirty. Because evil people don’t bathe, ya see.

      • Observer

        What about people who let their teeth rot in their sebaceous-cyst-sprouting heads?

        • Ugh. And to think I was looking forward to an especially nice dinner tonight.

        • John P.

          Apparently, Hubbard believed a fierce grimace and a ten gallon cowboy hat was enough to cover those minor cosmetic details. He not only believed that “clothes make the man,” he also lived it. Check this out: http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?27761-Scientology-might-have-its-own-tv-channel!!!!!!!!!!!!-NOT-kidding/page12

          • Midwest Mom

            Is he wearing a woman’s blouse? It looks like something that the Lulu on the show “Hee Haw” used to wear.

            • nessness

              now MWM, don’t diss the cowboy wear. If you were West mom and had been to some rodeos that had some horses in them, you would know that although gaudy, this shirt (not the tie, or the excessive buttons on the cuff) is reasonable for someone who had actually won a buckle in the rodeo. He might want to check how he is wearing the hat and many other things in his life….:) but that is not a “woman’s blouse”. Come to Stampede, get drunk with other people who never wear these clothes in everyday life….

            • stillgrace

              We have a saying out here in the west for such folk: Big hat, no cows.

            • nessness

              all hat, no cattle, gotcha….another delightful one I use at every opportunity, is: that is hay that has already gone through a horse….polite but yet effective..

    • stillgrace

      Regarding $cientologists playing dress-up, I rest my case with this one, a “real-deal” photo, no shoop.

      • There’s nothing sadder than seeing grown men playing dress-up and play pretend navy.

        On another note – I’ve always thought that there were “in plain sight” clues that this is all a fraud, like the pyramid symbol used by Scientology. Can it be even more obvious that it is a pyramid scam?

      • You can’t fight in here, this is the War Room!

  • villagedianne

    A bit off topic, but here is article about how Scientology in Australia is planning a publicity drive to rehabilitate it’s image there. Lots of moaning about how the press gets it so wrong:

    http://mumbrella.com.au/scientology-137346?religionnewsblog.com

    • John P.

      Money quote from the article:

      A year later [2010], Scientologists turned to above-the-line advertising to improve the church’s image, using media agency Frontier Media. However, the church’s media push did not go ahead as planned.

      Frontier’s media director Mark O’Brien told Mumbrella: “Several years ago The Church of Scientology engaged us on a project to develop a media plan. After completing it, they took the plan and executed it through their marketing team in the US, without paying us for it. Fair to say, we haven’t worked with them since,” he said.

      Surprise, surprise… the cult stiffing yet another vendor. Another vendor who would help them get out the message that Scientologists are “the most ethical people on the planet.”

      • I’m also amused by this quote –

        ‘The Church of Scientology said it was “surprised” by Frontier Media’s allegation, since it had not been contacted by the agency regarding payment, and had not been sent an invoice.

        “Frontier Media’s plan was very good and we would highly recommend them to others, however it was decided at that time that TV advertising on major networks was not feasible and the plan was shelved,” a Scientology spokeswoman said. ”We would have loved the ad campaign, but it did not go anywhere and absolutely was not used anywhere else.”’

        So I guess that Scientology, who are famous for the principal of exchange, believed that the ad agency donated its work.

        • richelieu jr

          Thank you for the new car. It is wonderful and I highly recommend it however we have never used it and are surprised you want money for it.

          Silly you.

      • Poison Ivy

        Yes, business as usual at CO$. Remember, the most “ethical people of the planet” are seeking the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics.

        • Still_On_Your_Side

          It would be interesting to find out if any of the Ideal Orgs have mechanics liens on them from construction contractors that weren’t paid.

  • nevarmore

    So, I guess Lisa McPherson wasn’t willing to listen either? She bunked right out. Of course, her watchers weren’t allowed to speak to her so I guess they didn’t tell her to pick her body back up. That would explain it. (<<<sarcasm).

    • Poison Ivy

      If only Tom Cruise had been there. He was the only one who could help.

  • Truly the award for Ironic Comment of the Year goes to the first flier:

    “There has never been a better time to call yourself a Scientologist”

    Every time I read that I can’t stop myself from giggling like a little girl.

    • Bob

      Media_ lush, There should be a disclaimer attached to that phrase.

      “We are not responsible for loss or damage resulting from following this advice.” The Church of Scientology Inc.

    • SandiCorrena

      I can’t pull up the bafta stuff; it’s killing me!

  • 1subgenius

    I believe the stuff about the PC “doing a bunk” is a description of a mental breakdown as a result of the hypnotic brainwashing known as auditing.

    • Poison Ivy

      I think it describes a disassociative state, like the one described by childhood victims of sexual abuse, when they leave their bodies because of the cognitive dissonance of the situation.

      • Still_On_Your_Side

        That certainly makes a lot of sense, and it probably is the cause of most of the catastrophic results that occur within the CoS. If the CoS is so all powerful, and so able to cure all diseases, why can’t an auditor repair all disassociative states, 100% of the time? Why have any failures? Because failures are always blamed on a bad auditor, or on the victim. In that way, it is strikingly like hellfire Christianity, “you are sick because you have the devil in you,” or 1600s Salem, Massachusetts, “you are sick because those witches cast a spell on you.” Even more like 1600s Salem, Massachusetts, is the CoS “cure” for “bad” members, only instead of seeing whether they sink or float in the river, the members are locked in trailers with little food, no air conditioning, and constant abuse. If they don’t succumb, they must be guilty.

    • Ziontologist

      I think “doing a bunk” is another example of Hubbard exaggerating the power of the “tech.” In other words, not only are we dealing with “reality” of exteriorization, but this auditing stuff is so powerful you might “drop your body.”
      It’s corny. Like he says in the Self Analysis book that “the worst it could do is kill you.”
      Or when he says reading the OT III story could give you pneumonia.

  • BosonStark

    In conjunction with his famous “charisma” — I’m with Tony on that one — there’s the mystery of why people who start taking courses in Scientology today, do it without at least listening to Hubbard speak on YouTube, before they get involved?

    Scientology is basically Hubbard, Hubbard, Hubbard, and even if you like one of his books, wouldn’t it seem normal to want to hear or see him speak — see the charm of this great thinker, adventurer, nuclear physicist? I mean would you be risking pneumonia to do that?

    Marshall Applewhite had an other worldly look and presentation. If I were going to cut off my balls to meet up with the mother ship, I’d pick him any day over Hubbard.

    Jim Jones was a tiny bit sexy, and had some charisma. A part of me finds the self-sufficient agrarian life somewhat enticing. Got my bags packed and I’m ready to go.

    But even when Hubbard isn’t babbling like a complete loon, he comes off as being a pompous gas bag.

    • 1subgenius

      “If I were going to cut off my balls to meet up with the mother ship”

      First laugh of the day for me.
      Thanks.
      Rivals my “I’d rather be the only woman on a Greek freighter.”

      • richelieu jr

        “I’d rather be the only woman on a Greek freighter.”

        Well, you could start by cutting off your balls…

      • Ze Moo

        You know how they separate the boy scouts in Greece? With a crow bar!

  • Dean Fox

    I’m surprised the IAS don’t do bulk buy offers like they do some book offers:

    1 lifetime $3000
    3 lifetimes $9500
    5 lifetimes $17,000
    8 lifetimes $28,000
    12 lifetimes $40,000

    (My maths is just fine BTW!)

    • Semper Phi

      Actually, the cost of a Lifetime membership went up to $5000 a few years ago.

    • richelieu jr

      Special offer- Sign up for your first billion lifetimes at only a dollar per!

      That’s savings of nearly one hundredpercentchanceyou’rafuckingrtwatpullyourheadoutmatebeforeit’stoolate!!!

      Call now!

  • OK …so …here is a quick test . If someone sat next to you on a city bus …and started the LRH “how to bring someone back to life ” speech …would you lean in for more information because you were so enthralled by the genius and knowingness and nifty naval outfit the guy was wearing …or would you just get off the bus at the next stop and walk the rest of the way ?? When Tom Cruise did that video for scientology …and when he got all tweekey and weird with Matt Lauer …he reminded me of a freak on the city Colfax bus here in Denver ( anyone who knows about the #15 bus on colfax here knows exactly what i am talking about ) and even peeking over at whacky Marty’s site …i think i should just buy him a bus pass and get it over with .

    • Bob

      If you sat next to someone on the bus and they told you that ALL you sins would be washed away if you gave yourself over to Jesus and your soul would be saved for eternity would you get off at the next stop and walk the rest of the way?

      • ab-so-fuckin-lutetly

        • Bob

          I guess the real lesson is that trying to convert someone with a deep seated but outrageous belief is probably not the most successful way to get results.

          • Says who? If people were raised in a fundamentalist household to believe that the earth is 6 thousand years old …and then they enter the real world and take a science class and learn otherwise …find out they really enjoy science and as a result ..their fundamentalist belief system falls away and their accomplishments in science soar ~ they go to college ~ ( you get the picture ) I say that conversion would be totally worth it . One less candidate for the role of the village idiot / willfully ignorant citizen

            • Captain Howdy

              I really wish you would come around more often. I miss you and your style.

            • 🙂

            • Bob

              Sorry, I worded that last comment incorrectly. I meant not a good idea to accost a stranger with your most outrageous belief if you want to make a good first impression. I agree with your take on it.

            • gotcha ~ …whew 😉

      • I wouldn’t if they stopped when I declined.

        With the Scientologist, there’s a fair chance they’d keep pestering, because of the messed-up incentives inherent in the system. Or they might switch to pushing something else, like CCHR or the management crap.

    • that’s what pocket tazers where invented for

    • Chocolate Velvet

      I can testify. I used to work downtown, in high school, and home was on the east side. I would take any other route but that one at the end of the day.

      For the love of god, avoid the #15 between downtown and Colorado Blvd, at night especially! That is where the pawn shops and peep shows and hooker strolls are. Capitol Hill. Crazies galore. Further east, it’s not much better. Just a lot sadder and much less colorful.

      In the 80’s, lots of “alternative” shops. I bet “Dianetics” was easy to find — at the Rainbow grocery on York & Colfax and the little New Age shop that was next door, for instance. Can’t recall the name, but I went there often, and there were lots of oddballs. Myself included, I suppose. 🙂

      • Amen ! I went to East High ..too bad Rainbow is not there any more ;(

    • grundoon

      You get off the bus… he does too… now he’s alone with you, on foot, in a strange neighborhood…

  • And now schools are going to be changed by government mandate into mental health clinics? That’s serious. And NOTHING says serious like rock star duds.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      What if you show up dressed as Edgar Winter? Would they be offended? Or ashamed?

      • richelieu jr

        You go as Edgar, I’ll go as Johnny Winter and we’ll sing the ‘Heat Miser, Cold Miser’ song from Rudolphe!

  • Bella Legosi

    Hey Process Servers……try attending some of these events and serve that short little man right on stage. If a woman can attempt a citizen’s arrest on that creep Cheny I would certianly hope you could serve at least once little man DM. Just a thought….

  • Bella Legosi

    Oh, and thank you for posting this lecture. I have been curious as to what they may sound like, but really didn’t want to give any space to that crap on my computer! lol However I do suggest Wikileaks FBI/Scientology papers. From “communists want to steal Dienetics!” to Operation SnowWhite……tis a fantastic read although tedious

  • I get it now Marty…..

    • BuryTheNuts2

      ^^^^
      Winner!!!

  • MarionDee

    “I was just a couple of minutes late. State cops were in my way, but a Negro had been drowned.
    They were in my road to a point where I couldn’t get to the guy and tell him to pick up the body again, or he would have, don’t you see.” So odd that despite his supernatural powers, LRH never learned how to throw his voice.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      His voice could not get past those nasty teeth.

      Why didn’t the great OT use his powerz to fix those things.

      • Midwest Mom

        He died before he could write his book on “The Modern Science of Dental Health”.

      • Bob

        Why didn’t his OT powers fix his deteriorating health for the last 10 years of his life?

        • BuryTheNuts2

          Bob, Bob, Bob…you have not been paying attention.
          It was that one errant body thetan that was causing all of his problems.
          You know, the one he had Steve P. build him that fancy dancy souped up high voltage e-meter that was supposed to blow that body thetan right through the wall of the Bluebird bus (while it was still attached to the hubs no less).

          • Bob

            You are right. LOL! In that case what happened is: LRH was blown out of his body and all that was left is the super sick BT! That’s why the blighter tried to cure himself with drugs only. Hubbard was gone, gone, gone! 🙂

    • richelieu jr

      Or that he thought a black guy might not be too thrilled at yet another white guy calling him ‘negro’ and telling him to pick shit up…

      If you ask me the smart fellow heard old L Ron perfectly well and just kept on going…

    • Overtigo

      Also odd that with his super ot thetan powers, some inconsequential state cops were able to impede him. Flunk!

  • Oh, honestly; “90 miles an hour or 2 light years a second”. He’s making this up as he goes along, isn’t he?

    • BuryTheNuts2

      No, Imelda, No.
      There were volumes and volumes of research on the science of doing a bunk.
      It is 100% true and the statistics don’t lie.

      By the way…I like your shoes.

      • Sorry, I edited as you were replying. Makes it even better. Thanks for liking my shoes. I’ve got my sparkly red ruby ones on today, that’s how I get back and forth to Kansas.

        • richelieu jr

          BTW, have you heard L Ron sing ‘Thank You for Liking my SHoes’?

          A real toe-tapper (groan)

      • blissfulldreams

        There were volumes and volumes of research on the science of doing a bunk

        and the results of the study finds that “it’s easy all you have to do is go stay at a swanky hotel run up your bill and leave in the night with out paying”

      • Still_On_Your_Side

        Oh gawd, I think you should get an award for the most consistently funny poster.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          Cash will be fine!

  • moxonmoxoff

    I see white people.

    • I see dumb people. They walk around just like ordinary people. They don’t know they’re dumb.

      • Captain Howdy

        Stop it ! I’m in a lot pain. It hurts when I laugh. Fucking Russians !

  • BosonStark

    Forget these unfortunates with their Junior Loon Certificates — how about a group photo of all the kids Hubbard resurrected from the dead?

    • BuryTheNuts2

      how about a group photo of all the kids Hubbard resurrected from the dead?

      It is there, can’t you see it?

      • richelieu jr

        All I see is polar bear convention in an igloo in the snow….

        –and one dead ‘negro’.. how’d he get there? Couldn’t anybody do anything?

        (actually I imagine aconvention of cientologists would ook a bit like a polar bear reunion in the snow, except for the new NOI recruits, wouldn’t it? I wonder if he’s told Farrakhan about LRH’s inability to ave the ‘negro’ after his clear affection for their simple ‘close to the earth’ race…)

        • I think they would be very interested in the letter he wrote Polly, telling her to get a [n-word] to do housework because that’s what they were born for.

  • Are_sics

    “And for those of you just hearing for the first time what a Hubbard
    lecture was like, you now have a sense of the man’s amazing charisma.”

    Thank you for saying it, Tony. I’ve been crying that one out to anyone who would listen for a long time. It does need to be pointed out.

    Then again, when you hear him sing (“Thank You for Listening”), it all makes sense. I’d follow that guy to a treasure hunt on Corfu* using past life memories as a map. No question.
    *[Any erroneous details acknowledged in advance].

  • Bella Legosi

    My first experience with a Scientologist was back in 2004 – 2006. I got work at an Adult Foster home for the mentally ill. The owner had me come in on the weekends to care for 5 clients with scizophrenia to bi-polar disorder. When the owner was dumped by a man she was really in love with; the worker that I had replaced started coming around and would put up a sign on the owners bedroom door saying, “Do not disturb! Auditing in session” or something like that. Then I would notice all these L Ron books she was buying and an e-meter. I was also keeping her books and noticed $200 – $4000 checks the owner was making out to her “auditer”. She tried to bully me into reading Dienetics because I was over weight and when I told her I do not believe in any religion that charges its memebers for knowledge she berated me, called me supressive, and complianed that I was full of isms and whiney. Needless to say the further along her auditing the more “enturbulated” she became. At one point she was telling her clients “Know the tech, apply the tech! If you do it it works and if it isn’t working YOU are doing something wrong! You can get off your meds if you only applied the Tech!” So yeah, I had to deal with an enturbulated bat shit crazy boss who was telling very very mentally ill patients if they could only apply the Tech correctly they would have no need for meds or docs anymore. A very toxic enviroment that I could no longer work in. None of the clients would speak out about the owners bullying them in to Scientology(with out even letting them read any of the basics and if they did read them most of the stuff in there they didn’t get or thought was completely insane; and that coming from those who know what it is to be actually insane!) and told me flat out they would deny everthing in order to stay at this particular home. Very sad. At least this was a home regulated by the State and the owner did dispense the medication as she should have; however when it came to painkillers she would activly discourage and bully them into not taking them, instead giving them Tech to treat their pain. Only when I was on duty would they build up the courage to ask for their PRNs (medication that is commonly ‘as needed’ i.e. pain killers, antianxiety ect). However, since these PRNs were narcotics most of the time I would have to log it in their files and would get an earful of shit when the owner found that I had dispensed them and admonish me for “drugging my guys! Always talk them down from their PRNs! They don’t NEED them!” It has been almost 10 years since I worked for that crazy woman and I believe she has since retired. But the point I would like to make is I strongly believe that whom ever the auditor was was in Indie or part of that group, but I know for sure the owener of the AFH did buy into the Basics and a $2000 e-meter. Whenever she was “enturbulated” it was always theatens, not the crazy mind fuck that was being done to her! Anyways I have been wanting to post this for a long time and finally can from my computer and not my phone! So thanks guys for hearing me out. Look forward to hearing any responses or questions. Unfortunately my phone is smarter and faster than my actual computer and I have a hell of a time being able to respond quickly and with spell check lol

    • Are_sics

      Whoa. I’ve known a couple of Ex-Scientologists who were still “dealing” with all the confusion that comes from realizing they’ve been lied to about “everything” for so long. But never had to deal with someone in a position of power pushing that stuff on a captive audience. That’s a very scary scenario indeed! Thanks for sharing.

      • Bella Legosi

        My pleasure. lol Now when I left that job and worked at a Nordys Rack as a housekeeper I started to find those personality tests in our break room. So one night I decided to draw a cartoon of Tom in a UFO saying “I am here. I am clear. Get used to it!”……the very next day Nordstroms discrimination policy was posted on all four walls of that breakroom and apparently my manager got a talking to from the store manager. With in 5 months he was asked to resign and I got myself fired cuz I absolutely hated everyone in that store.

        • Sister727

          “I am here. I am clear. Get used to it!”
          That’s freakin awesome!! LMFAO!!!

          • Bella Legosi

            Yes, lol there is a rather open LGBT community in my town. But I must admit I took that from an Anonymous flyer that started popping up in my town. It was a flyer that started me on the weird world of Hubs brain and brain fart Dyenetics.

      • Bella Legosi

        Yeah given the enviroment and mental states of all 5 clients in that home I am surprised nothing violent occured while I worked there. See when I came on duty it was Fri thru Sun, day and night. I also slept at the home as well as talk to the clients about some of this stuff. With me they knew they could confide in me things that went on while I wasn’t working and know I wouldn’t go back and tell the owner. It took a lot of doing but I was able to make some of them feel as tho they were definately NOT DEGRADED beings but human and probably more human than most of the people out there in the world today.

    • Midwest Mom

      It’s so upsetting that the most vulnerable are preyed upon and have to suffer in fear. Also, it never occurred to your boss that Hubbard was overweight, thus the tech didn’t work?

      • Bella Legosi

        LOL, I was already deemed supressive and since I wouldn’t give ol Hub the benifit of the doubt there was little I could point out to her with out being screamed at and accused of being “supressive”, also this was 04 to 05 ish and really did not know much about Co$ enough to have an argument. Because with her it was classic ScyDy tactics……..They are never wrong and infact above you and when you make a valid point it was always attack attack. It’s alright. She had ME write the weekly logs for these guys and I did mention their talk of “getting off meds for good one day thru the Tech that SO-N-SO told them about and noted in detail how this crazy bullshit would make them cycle more often. So, its on record that the Tech screwed them up. But the state rep that made weekly visits never read those entrys.

        • Still_On_Your_Side

          If you remember the name of that representative, you should report to the state agency that employed him or her, if they were that bored and indifferent then, I am sure others are still suffering today. I have to ask, however, since I am confused, were you a member of the church? Who deemed you a suppressive in 2004-05? That doesn’t seem fair to deem a non-member a suppressive ( not that the church is ever fair).

          • Bella Legosi

            No I have never been part of the church nor had any positive interest in it. I was baptized Roman Catholic, never confirmed, and hold all religions with some distrust. This was a public Scilon lableing me as such. Back then I had no idea what the hell she meant by “suppressive”. I have never been deemed SP or PTS that I know of by the chruch proper. I do have my own SP declaration I had my ex make up for me that I proudly display next to my computer that was photoshopped. But that goes to show you just how holier then thou this particular Scientologist was.

            • Still_On_Your_Side

              Yikes, how crazy to call you “suppressive”! You are well away from her!

            • Bella Legosi

              Thank you. It was insulting to be called that I must say even though I didn’t know her meaning for it. I told my boyfriend at the time about it and he said it was scientology stuff, better to just placate and shut my mouth about it, but its hard to do when you are being verbally attacked. Let’s just say the “help” talked back 😉

    • Captain Howdy

      Oy vey, sounds like a real horror show there Bella. Are you sure she retired ?

      • Bella Legosi

        Yes, my ex confirmed that for me the last time we were together, because I told him had I known half as much as I know now I would have recorded her insanity and turned her ass into the State. Thankfully some of the clients confided in me that they thought Scientology was creepy and only humored the owner. See, for them they have been in the worst Foster homes and hospitals, and the owner ran a really clean and supportive enviroment before she got back into the crazy Scientology stuff. These people felt as though they had a real home and family and if they had to put up with crazy Tech talk they would and did so they didn’t have to be put into another Foster home or the hospital.

        • Captain Howdy

          Thanks and welcome.

          • Bella Legosi

            As of the writing of this post I have confirmed that this
            AFH, operator in question did indeed retire at the end of 2011 and has since
            sold the home and moved out of state. Thank you Deckard.

            • Bella Legosi

              I confirmed this by balling up and going back to the home in question to confront this woman and check up on the clients. The new home owner said they bought the house from the operator in the fall of 2011 and offered her contact info (which he offered when I said I needed it for job seeking and resume purposes. He gave me the number which is out of state. I called and talked to her this afternoon. I asked if she was still in the church and said she no longer recieved servies but still believed in LRH tech. That is when she got suspicous and said not to contact her.

          • Bella Legosi

            Jesus, I feel I have written enough to write a fullon artical about this crap!

        • Thanks for sharing this story. If I were you, I’d probably double check the “retirement” status online or through other licensing agencies because Clams have a knack of never being able to retire because they are giving all of their money to the cult. The owner of this foster home may be back in business and doing this again, so I encourage you to double check. Or you can feed it to a trusted Anon on a private message in WWP to do the legwork if you don’t know how.

          • Bella Legosi

            So, how do I go about reporting this type of stuff? Because I don’t know if she is still active in the cult and if she is still recieving clients would it be better to make a report or some sort of suggestion to the mental health system the clients use? They all see psychs so I wonder if that is something they would like to know. I will def put my feelers out on WWP. I still know her contact info, addy, and some of the clients from 05. There were some tax issues with her books as well……like buying a $2000 sound system the residents got to hear once before it went up to her room (which she got 100% write off), the new vehical she got partially written off to transport clients (which never happened)…….stuff like that. And I am sure the CPA’s she used were Scilons too, becuase they were the one’s telling her she can get all these neat things and write them off so long as the clients used said item once or had access to them……..wow there is a lot coming back to me now that I should have paid attention to back then. In classic Scilon form tho most of my job was the dirty work ie. all the house cleaning, laundry, care, and paper work which kept me busy and not asking questions……..Thanks Deckard……I just hope something good can come out of this, because now that I am talking about that time in my life and what I saw; combined with the knowledge I have now, I am starting to feel very shitty and guilty I never reported her.

            • Bella Legosi

              Just posted……hope to hear back from someone…..i have a good idea who to call tomorrow regarding her license status.

            • The statute of limitations may not have run out on some things that you saw, depending on the crime and the jurisdiction. I would outreach a Mod on WWP or muldrake on a private message and list some generalities of what you know and the dates. It really depends on what state (or country because I’m not sure where you are) this all occurred and the agency that issues “licenses” or other such authority.

              If this facility received public money (i.e. Medicare) then there are other agencies that can also get involved (such as CMS, which is a federal agency). They take these things rather seriously, especially if there was fraud involved, but I’m not saying that’s the case here.

              I would start a list of what you saw and the dates, if you remember them. Then I would outreach a mod on WWP on private message (don’t give names just yet) and ask the mod (or you can outreach muldrake) who would be the best person to talk to about this. It’s best not to start a public thread on this and tip off OSA.

            • Bella Legosi

              Well I really believe the person in question (the owner) and the auditor were Indies. Because at the very least what was going on was real squrrel out-tech stuff and of all the records and books I kept not once did I come across IAS material nor did I see anything in the ledger books. The owner was not being regged and the auditor was the only one getting money from her. I do not believe any fraud occured with the clients money, because she stipulated that they have their own payor seperate from her to handle that for them.

            • DMSTCC

              How long were you in to know what “squrrel out-tech stuff” is?

            • Bella Legosi

              From everything I have read from Clam Bake, VV, to Rathbun’s
              blog, “out-“ and “squirrel” tech is tech applied by either an ex member (SP) or
              perversion of LRH material. I believe a Scientologist who never received
              training for auditing or was “clear” (which I don’t believe she was
              at the time of employment) who uses tech on patients under the care of psychs
              would definitely be considered “out-tech” or “squirrel”.
              You honestly believe I would post this location here for any OSA to see? And if
              you read my original post you would have seen that I have never been in the
              church and thru this employer was my first experience with a member of the
              church and the bat shit crazy beliefs they have.

            • DMSTCC

              What city, state was this Adult Foster Home in?

            • Bella Legosi

              Yeah but I don’t really trust the Indies either………besides if I am that damn interesting then whom ever gets to google me or what ever takes more time out of thier lifes….why make it easy for PI weasles?

            • Still_On_Your_Side

              From what I have read, back in 2004-2006, there weren’t a lot, if any, Indies doing auditing. How do you know the owner or the patients were not being regged if you didn’t have access to their accounts? This sounds exactly like the kind of thing the church would do, especially given the heavy money pressure from Miscavige. If you remember the name of the auditor, perhaps you can run it by someone privately to see if they were out of the church at that time. Someone else on this blog could you steer you to a person who could answer that question.

              Lastly, and I ask this with all due respect, how do you know it was “squirrel tech” if you weren’t a member? I wouldn’t have a clue as to what is squirrel tech, since I have never been a Scientologist.

            • DMSTCC

              yep^^^^^

            • Bella Legosi

              There were active Indies
              going as far back as the early 1980’s. These people were called Free Zone. I believe strongly this is the group that the auditor was apart of.

            • Still_On_Your_Side

              If you remember the names of one or more of the psychiatrists/psychologists the patients saw, that could help. Contact the doctor, tell him/her what you remember. They have a duty to report this abuse. It was abuse to force patients to accept auditing, and to neglect to give them their meds. I bet she took money from the state to buy the meds, and how convenient that she could pocket the money…..

            • Bella Legosi

              The way the money worked was that upon moving into this home
              each patient had to make their own preparations for money they received. Now,
              all 5 clients were all on SSD and received monthly payments directly deposited
              into an account that was controlled by their State caseworker. The owner of
              this AFH made it very clear that she wanted no part of the client’s money,
              access to, or power of at any point. Many foster home owners will, but this
              owner thought of that process as more a liability and upon moving in; each
              client HAD to have someone OUTSIDE the home control the client’s money and in
              front of the state rep and their case worker signed documents saying as much
              (which I witnessed upon new clients moving in). More times than any it was their
              caseworker or advocate with the local mental health facilities funded by the
              county. So, at the beginning of the month the state paid the owner, room and
              board payments by clients were sent by their designated rep and deducted from
              their monthly SSD checks. When I began to keep her books; as in access to
              ledgers, accounts, handling checks, ect. During that time the only payments I
              saw were to this woman’s auditor. No IAS, CC, or local missions. I don’t even
              remember even seeing IAS material. But that is exactly why she set the
              financial part of her business up the way she did. So that if there were any
              issues with money on the client’s end it was wholly not on her. You have to
              understand the people that lived in this home were very mentally ill and could
              at anytime accuse the operator or myself of abuse, neglect, theft just by cycling
              in their bi-polar disorder or when their schizophrenia cycled (One client would
              often accuse me of poisoning her food because her delusion which was visual and
              auditory told her I was). I can not speak of the regging occurring after I left
              employment. The state I live in requires that any foster home ran for mentally
              ill patients who gets paid by the state as an operator or caregiver must fill
              out weekly reports on each clients behavior, record medications
              given/prescribed (with each client showing you inside the mouth/under tongue),
              and I believe twice a month a rep would come in and interview said operator
              (these were useless because each meeting always occurred when most of the
              clients were at community centers or away from the home). Once a year every AFH
              would go thru inspection of the home, paperwork, client’s history, and review
              of the operator herself. However, they did NOT read the weekly reports I had
              written if there were NO incidents with clients. If a client were to end up in
              the ER or be brought to the psych ward an immediate investigation would
              commence on this home; meaning all paperwork and medication records would be
              reviewed by the state to ensure the home ran according to laws and that
              medications more importantly were being given properly (missed doses of many of
              the meds given in this home would always have tell tale signs that they were
              not getting what was prescribed and thankfully in this state they investigate
              the hell out of a home that has medication issues. I live in a state where
              there is no Ideal Orgs and the “church” has very little popularity publicly.)
              All records in said home were to be kept for up to 6 years and I can attest to
              this operator keeping the records because I was given the shitty job of moving
              hundreds of pounds of docs to her basement file cabinets. As to the
              medications. They were all covered by the client’s Medicare and ordered/shipped
              to the home in bubble packs. At no time was any money exchanged for them, it
              was strictly Medicare to pharmacy to AFH.

              I would like to say that towards the end of my employment I voiced
              my concern and questioned this owners practices. The conversation I had with
              this owner that lead to my 2 week notice started out with me pointing out to
              her that it is cruel to the clients to lead them to believe they could become
              med free one day seeing as how they were already in the mental health system
              and would stay there the rest of their lives, that I believed her changing
              behavior (enturbulation) was directly affecting the clients mental health, and
              that is when I was screamed at for threatening her business and a litany of
              insults and legal threats were made against me. Needless to say I was shouted
              down and told she would hire a lawyer if I retaliated in any way, reminding me
              that the clients in the home would back up anything she would say in response
              to any action taken against her and because I was the one keeping the books and
              records they would find nothing and if they did it would be on me. I called
              bullshit and told her this is the batshit crazy that I was talking about and
              put in my two weeks notice right there. I spent one more weekend at the home
              and left a week early to work another job I had landed right away. The last
              weekend I worked there the clients were very apprehensive and sad that I was
              leaving and a couple knew exactly why I was leaving. I told them all that they
              should not endure or abide this woman’s behavior and that her behavior was
              already recorded in the files, so if they felt they could or wanted to report
              this woman they would have support with me and documentation. None of the
              residents wanted to go that far and said that Scientology was this woman’s
              religion and that nobody would believe them as they were all mentally ill.

            • Bella Legosi

              The owner did not audit anyone that I know of and doubt she would have let them even touch her $2000 wacky e-meter. This operator knew the lines she could cross and the ones she could not (at least in the financial part of the business). She was not an idiot. She knew what to say and how to say it so that it came off as “techniques”. The one time I spoke to a state rep about her scientology ties (this was the fisrt one year lincensure i was involved in at this AFH), the state rep said, “Unless the clients make a complaint or if a client’s doctor feels something should be done, there is nothing I can do about it. It is her religion and it is not against the law to disseminate religious belifes to clients.” she did say she would note my concern so if something did get reported there was documentation of it. But that was not an offical complaint or report, which I know feel should have gone further.

  • 0tessa

    Hubbard ‘discovered’ the phenomenon of the body thetans. And he seemed to have had a special one, that took a more advanced e-meter to get rid of. Now, Hubbard having all his body thetans hanging around him and this super big one he didn’t get rid of, and giving his theory that it is the body thetans that are responsible for our madnesses and illnesses and aberrations, how can we know whether in the end Dianetics and Scientology have not been created by his body thetans and not by Hubbard himself? They used Hubbard like a vessel so to speak. They made him believe that he did create it. And when Hubbard dropped his body, the big body thetan took up home with Davey and is running the operation through him.
    I’m going to write a book.

    • richelieu jr

      Just be glad that when he dropped his body, you weren’t under it!

  • Truthiwant

    The more I read about this subject, the more I can’t believe that anybody could possibly
    fall for such nonsense. This dog puke called Scientology is no more than pulp spewed
    out by a sociopathic liar high on psychedelic drugs. To think that I (cough) was
    once involved in it embarrasses me.

    Admittedly, Hubbard was a prolific writer and he knew how to spin a yarn and I guess that
    he hit on this ‘good idea’ and it just seemed to take off. But his writings, if
    you really think about it, are no more than cooked up slop, as useful as a fur coat would
    be to a polar bear . But he carried on, relentlessly , writing fairy tales, dumped
    on his unsuspecting public. But his public, probably to Hubbard’s surprise, gobbled it up
    like baked beans served to hungry kids. Quite unbelievable.

    But what I would REALLY like to know is this; Did Hubbard at any time ever tell one of
    his ‘friends’ that he was taking everybody for a ride and did he ever confess
    to one of his trusty subordinates that he was making it all up?

    I think I’ll take a few days off. This site is great but it is more addictive than nicotine.
    See you all shortly when my body needs another ‘smoke’!

    • richelieu jr

      You’ll be back….

      ..and ready for TO 2 (Tony Ortega 2)…. mwahahaha!

    • Captain Howdy

      You have been assimilated. And if that didn’t work we’re going to send JT to your house to assstimulate you.

      • Truthiwant

        My ASS you’ll send JT!!

        • blissfulldreams

          don’t mention your ass and JT he might get the wrong impression

    • Throw a little schizophrenia in, and Hubbard is living in his own made-up fantasy mansion, as well as inviting others to share the digs.

    • Still_On_Your_Side

      His son says he was told it was a scam. He also says he ran coke and heroin out of South America for his father. If that is true, it would make sense that Miscavige never stopped running drugs for one or more cartels. This is just speculation, but the drug cartels need to launder vast amounts of cash, and Miscavige wants vast amounts of cash and can launder the cash because there is no government oversight of a church.

      • don’t think I’ve heard this theory before…. I doubt it holds water as you only have to look at what an idiot he is when troubleshooting problems that any cartel would have killed him by now as a precaution against any kind of future plea bargaining.

        • Still_On_Your_Side

          You could be right, but there is an ABC interview with Hubbard’s son from the late 70s on YouTube. In it he claims he was running coke and heroin from S. America with his father. Was he lying? I would like to know more about this, and when it stopped. Miscavige picked up where Hubbard stopped, so he claims.

          • wouldn’t it be spooky if there’s someone behind the curtains behind the curtains controlling Miscavige…. [one of the Illuminati Lizard people?, ed]

            • Still_On_Your_Side

              I doubt there is anything or anyone controlling Miscavige. I wouldn’t give him any excuse, he’s evil and does evil things on his own initiative.

            • Bob

              There is some evidence to support this theory.

          • You need to find that interview and link to it. Lots of things get garbled in people’s memories or exaggerated in the retelling, so it is always important to document.

            • Still_On_Your_Side

              Here it is http://youtu.be/V7o3nqPqr0w , you are right, things need to be documented. Please review this interview, if Ron Jr is telling the truth, he and his father were running drugs through Columbia. Miscavige claims he is the true heir of Hubbard, if the drug running is true, did Hubbard continue after he broke with his son? Was Miscavige part of it? He claims that he has continued Hubbard’s work. Or is this just his son making up stories out of revenge? Gerry Armstrong is also interviewed in this video.

          • EnthralledObserver

            The company/individuals benefitting from Scientology are the ones involved in construction and renovation of those buildings… drug money IN, constuction money OUT – laundry done! I know where I’d look first if I were the FBI…

      • grundoon

        LRH Jr. seems not much more trustworthy than his father.

    • “Nobody joins a cult. Nobody joins something they think’s gonna hurt them. You join a religious organization, you join a political movement, and you join with people that you *really like.*” – Deborah Layton, Jonestown: The Life and Death of People’s Temple

      I don’t know why you got involved with Scientology, but I can tell you why I did. If you think I’m a moron for thinking this way, or that Scientologists in general are stupid people for thinking this way, well—you’re entitled to think what you want.

      Bill Maher made a comment in Religulous, that he felt like it was actually a luxury not to have/need/want faith—faith being, I suppose, the acceptance of ideas and beliefs without any actual evidence, without scrutiny or examination and often without even any thought. How right he was.

      People really do believe in religion. Of this, there can be no doubt. Millions upon millions upon millions of people have gone to their grave with gusto in pursuit of, belief in and support for their religion. Multitudes have engaged in the most egregious crimes against humanity in this very same vein—the rule of the mind by faith.

      I’m going to borrow a definition from the Bible for faith (I am not a Christian, fear not). Hebrews 11:1 calls it the substance of things hoped for and evidence of what cannot be seen (like the Higgs Boson). Faith, then, is a thing. Belief in that faith exists along a spectrum of various degrees. Belief in a faith can be strong, or it can be weak, or it can run all the way into the negative and become disbelief.

      A simpler explanation might be to call faith, “hope.”

      Let’s look at an example. In the film The Matrix, one of the central characters, Morpheus, is revealed to have been on a lifelong search for the reincarnation of someone who lived in the past, The One. Humans are revealed to have been at war with intelligent machines for over 100 years, and Morpheus believes that when The One is found, he will end the war. So, Morpheus is looking for him because he wants the war to be over. He doesn’t just want this, he craves it with every fiber of his being.

      “Morpheus believes in you, Neo. And no one, not you, not even me can convince him otherwise. He believes it so blindly that he’s going to sacrifice his life to save yours.” – The Oracle, The Matrix

      His hope is of such magnitude that he will charge to his own death in pursuit of it. This is a difficult thing to explain to someone who has never had a hope that they felt they needed in order to continue on in life. Nihilistic existential crises can be seriously detrimental mental episodes.

      I can’t speak for everybody, but I’ll tell you my own personal reasons for accepting Dianetics and Scientology when I came upon them.

      Hubbard told me that Man is basically good, not evil. I hope this is true, I need to believe this because I cannot in good conscience work toward the salvation of something which is inherently evil (as the Christians purport to be doing). Hubbard told me that the problems of life are not insurmountable, that I can fix the things wrong with me and my environment, that I can be better, that life can be better, and that real happiness does exist and can be attained. I hope these things are true. I believe they are.

      The dog puke pulp spewed by a sociopathic liar high on psychedelic drugs came to me in a time of great inner turmoil. It did a rather amazing thing, to me, in that it reversed the direction in life toward nihilistic defeatism which I had been travelling. I feel a sense of gratitude for that. Really, I do. I didn’t join up because I was promised super powers. I joined up because I wanted to make the world a better place, and I thought that’s what these people were doing, too.

      Maybe Hubbard did mean it all as a scam. That might be true. That doesn’t mean it didn’t help me. It doesn’t change the way I think about and view life. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t help others. And if it is all untrue, a pack of lies, and the effort was futile, the fight not worth fighting,

      “Then tomorrow we may all be dead. But how would that different from any other day?” – Morpheus, The Matrix Reloaded http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZC5hU8NohXE

      The possibility of future failure should never serve to invalidate the efforts of the past and present.

      “Hope—it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.” – The Architect, The Matrix Reloaded

      “All it [Scientology] represents is the hope that Man again can find his own feet, can find himself in a very confused, mechanistic society and can recover to himself some of the happiness, some of the sincerity, and some of the love and kindness with which he was created, and if Man can do this, and we can help in any way to accomplish this, then all the years of my life and all the years of yours will have been well paid for, and none of us will have lived in vain.” – LRH, lecture 3 Jun. ’55 – The Hope of Man

      • Still_On_Your_Side

        I went back and re-read your post. It’s true no sane person joins a cult. In fact, it can be said that given the increasing greediness and “dumbing-down-ness” of western culture since the 70s, the most sane and altruistic youngsters have gravitated towards movements that want to help humanity, but which turned into cults. Whether Hubbard set out to create a cult I don’t know. I think that he realized he loved being idolized, and that a malignant narcissistic personality emerged, as it has with Miscavige.

        I think that Hubbard did help some people by pulling them out of drugs and showing them their lives can have a purpose, but that’s where it ends. There is never any good reason to force people to give up freedom so that others can get rich and live well. No one who joined a cult should feel ashamed or embarrassed if they have had the guts to leave, especially if they were suckered, thinking they were saving humanity when in fact they were feeding a malignant, gigantic and dishonest ego.

      • EnthralledObserver

        I personally think people go wrong by first thinking the planet/population needs saving in the first place. Some people need help, some even ask for it… but as a whole people just ‘are’. Deeds and circumstances can be changed… but leave people to have their personalities untouched – no such ‘fight’ has ever been necessary. Scientology was just one big scam seeking to dissolve ‘personality’. Hubbard must have been really afraid of his, eh?

        • stillgrace

          I like what you just said! Bravo.

        • This is an excellent reply. I couldn’t agree more. In general, people just need to be left alone to live their lives, get on with getting on.

      • Bob

        Well stated. A simple observation that holds true for humankind and the best part of the human condition.

  • revive the dead? That brainless fuck can’t even revive his own career.

    • 1subgenius

      Nice

    • It irks me that movie studios still hire him to star in movies, which tells me that he still is able to sell movies even if 1 out of 10 movies he makes is a blockbuster hit. Cruise must have significant overseas selling power because I don’t know too many Americans that actually want to pay money to see him in something.

      • Midwest Mom

        He is also a Producer/Executive Producer of films and casts himself in roles.

        • Executive Producer is a throw-away title, as are most “producer” titles. They give them to the stars for compensation and ego purposes. For example, “Sex and the City” became very popular and financially successful after the first 2 seasons thus they added Sarah Jessica Parker as an “Executive Producer” (or co-Executive Producer, I can’t remember which) for the 3rd season. She didn’t actually write or do anything different. They added it to make her role seem more important than it actually was.

          I think 30 Rock had a running joke about that after they added Alec Baldwin as an Executive Producer after a few years.

          • Midwest Mom

            I know, but Cruise had been a co-owner at United Artists until MGM bought his shares. He has also purchased the rights to certain books and screenplays to develop for himself as the star.

      • nessness

        The wooden delivery, the lack of nuance makes keanu reeves look like he is chewing the scenery…. What gives?

  • Robert Long

    The reference to the guy in DC committing auto-suicide because of a financial dispute has eerie resonance with the Rex Fowler case.

  • YES YES YES …… STEPHEN FRY JUST TOOK THE PISS OUT OF SCIENTOLOGY TALKING ABOUT THE MASTER….. {something about Tom Cruise in his ear piece and Joaquin reaching Thetan Levels} …. I’ll transcibe it later as I’m watching live

    Bafta awards

    • 1subgenius

      Don’t leave us hanging.

      • trying to upload it now….

        • 1subgenius

          Great. I googled and found that Fry is rather fearless and wild.
          He’s already been criticized for this year’s performance, but I couldn’t find specific references to TC.
          I look forward to this, because the shit he has said in the past is fucking funny.
          Certain brits are already calling for an investigation into what he did this year.

          • do you have any links? … he’s pretty much regarded as a national treasure here so I’m intrigued as to who these ‘certain brits’ are. If you want to see him at his best you should google his debate against the catholic church…. pretty much a living genius when it comes to this kind of stuff

    • 1subgenius

      He went there. Good for him.
      Cruise not in the audience?

      • Nope…. he was at a pre Bafta party the night before where he got pretty drunk [all the info on my blog] …. what I’m thinking is that Fry’s set the gauntlet down to Seth McFarlane – he’s ripped on scion and Cruise to a multi million world-wide audience… given that he’s already taken the piss out of them in an episode of Family Guy [bit was removed but I’ll have the clip on my blog later today] I anticipate he won’t be able to stop himself at the Oscars!

        • badtigger

          Seth McFarlane won’t touch it, I predict. There is still a very healthy fear in Hollywood of Scientology. And, as you know, Scientology casts it’s critics as bigots and that is a very gun shy topic in Hollywood. No, if it was Trey Parker and Matt Stone hosting (wouldn’t that be cool?) I’d say they’d do it. But I just don’t think Seth has the balls.

        • 1subgenius

          Hmmm. at a pre-party, but not the event itself. And he’s the biggest star in the universe.
          Hmmm, no confront.
          Not likely to be at the Oscars either I’m thinking. There’s the whole can’t get a date thing too.
          Embarrassing.
          Gotta be weird as fuck when he’s drunk. I think we all know extremely repressed people who go wild when they drink.

    • Trustmeonthis

      So, what was the joke? I’ve seen several reports that there was a joke, but no one has quoted it!
      Postulating like mad over here…

    • 1subgenius

      Shamed to say I just visited your blog for the first time.
      As George Takei would say, “Oh myyyyy…..”
      Keep up the good work.

  • badtigger

    Yes, because that’s exactly what we need to do, not give psychiatric care to military personnel. I am sure all of that PTSD just needs a touch assist. Blech.

  • aboutandout

    Over the last few days after reading this blog and comments of the old days, I can’t help but feel that scilons are in their own version of the film “Pleasantville”. I picture them in black & white and when the “blow” the finally get their color back. The more I read the more I feel like the Sea Org / core of the “church” is stuck in a 1950’s time warp but the general public within the “church” has some what kept up with the times. This has got to be causing turmoil from within the “church”?

    • Overtigo

      Yep-the seaorg slaves are definitely living their own version of Pleasantville, or as Magoo says-The Truman Show. The publics and local staffers don’t get exposed to the insane 1950’s rigid bureaucracy, distrust, and paranoia that is everyday seaorg life. If they did-they would be gone pretty quick I’ll bet.

      However; the wog world doesn’t come to life with vibrant colors after the “blow”. Most brainwashed scienos view the wog world as a hopeless hell of materialism and worthless pursuits, full of dangerous, insane criminals and psychiatrists. It takes a while to “come down” from the euphoric high that believing in the tech gives the victim. Imho, this is one of the reasons it’s so hard for them to leave. They have to come to terms with the fact that the utopian fantasy world they’ve bought into for so long is a complete crock, and that, in actuality, we are all just a bunch of meat bodies, aimlessly wandering the planet like insects, waiting to die. It’s a double, triple, quadruple whammy! Not only are you a complete gullible moron, but your future is a long string of mundane days, just eating and defecating until you finally expire. Better to stay in Pleasantville.

      Pretty sure that’s why there are so many indies running around. They can’t let go of the tech, because they are “all in” spiritually. Such a shame.

      • Captain Howdy

        Great comment and that’s why I indulge in the potato juice and Afghan spice cuz I’m an oversized roach.

        • q-bird

          Aye Captain! *laughing* Salut!

          Midwest Mom ~ the snow, she’s coming down pretty hard & fast here on the North side of the Lake. Are you getting snow or rain in the UP? (rain in the Twin Cities)

          At work this evening, a couple from Alberta, CA told me they had just bought Jenna’s book AND a lady from North Carolina told me People Magazine has Jenna story featured in it. Word is getting out there man.

          • Midwest Mom

            Hi q-bird. We’ve had blustery snow and ice rain today and our power was out for more than two hours this afternoon, but thankfully is back on again. (It went out when I was baking!) I am happy that it came back on and am happily watching Downton Abbey, now. 🙂

            Earlier today it was very nice. There are a lot of tourists in Houghton this weekend for the MTU winter carnival to see the snow sculptures. The weather seemed to change drastically when my husband was on the roof shoveling and raking snow, but It didn’t deter him, though. (He was rewarded with steak and his favorite beer). 🙂

            • q-bird

              Hi Mom. Are you dug out… again, yet? Once Yet Again, I should say, eh?! I almost am.

              Today, when I stepped outside to resume shoveling, I noticed how grey the day was… overcast, cloudy, the evergreens were also grey with the new snow that covers them. It was very hushed & quiet, I listened for the birds and they too were still. It was somewhat somber and yet very beautiful… it was peaceful, clean, & silent. I breathe deep.

              Today was a town-run day. Have to venture out on occasion, get to town to get resupplied & conduct some business you know, post office, bank, co-op, all the worldly ‘chores’… get ’em done and then go on & have a lovely lunch with my friend who was giving me a ride. Companionship, it is a fine & precious thing.

              I live at the height of the land, 30 miles inland from the North Shore. Coming down ‘the hill’ lake effect becomes evident & the sun, why it just busted out and quite suddenly, everything was incredibly brilliant! Shiny & bright! Dazzling even! A breeze off of the lake made the snow fly about and Mom !!! the very air itself sparkled – and I thought of you.

              Midwest Mom – You are a principal reason why I come to this blog & read the commentary.

              S.P. – get this! This is gonna crack you up! o man! LOL This is a most wonderful, delightfully strange coincidence, no kidding ~ my initials are S.P. 2… as in, as well ……………

              MWM I chit you not! <3 😀 !

              Susan – I am grateful for your words.

              That is what I want to tell you Mom.

              PAX,
              Susan

        • Guest

          WOGZ

        • Overtigo

          thanks Cap’n-I’m feeling a little like a giant Mantis myself these days….

          • Guest

            MMMMMMMM…SCIENTOLOGI$T$, not just for breakfast anymore….

  • stillgrace

    I heard someone here was looking for a two-year old that likes cigars?

    • SP ‘Onage

      Haha! 😀

    • mirele

      No red hair. And no leggy women.

  • If I were in LA, and carrying a protest sign near Scientology, mine would say:

    “Read LRH’s private final thoughts, his final “Ron’s Journal” thoughts, told to his Ranch caretaker, Steven Pfauth.
    The unofficial final Ron’s Journal is in Lawrence Wright’s book!”

    • mirele

      That story is pretty whack.

  • I’m repeatedly taken by surprise by this stuff. I hadn’t even thought about the “bring back to life assist” for years. I had studied it. But I hadn’t realized how looney it is. How looney ‘I’ was. Thanks, I think.

    • SP ‘Onage

      You can’t be that looney, you got out. 🙂

    • Overtigo

      I know exactly how you feel Michael….sometimes crap that has been long forgotten comes back, doesn’t it? Especially now that we’ve got all these great people digging up stuff and putting it out there for all to see online. It’s always a shock when viewed in the context of a normal, sane life 🙂 It’s all good now though! The tipping point is coming….HIP HIP….FANCUL’!!!!

  • SP ‘Onage

    Hubbard’s ramblings remind me of Jim Jones, leader of the Peoples Temple. In an article “The Prophet Who Raises The Dead,” a follower stated.

    “Jim has been the means by which more than 40 persons have literally been brought back from the dead this year. When I first came into the church, I was the conventional skeptic
    about such things. But I must be honest:

    I have seen Jim revive people stiff as a board, tongues hanging out, eyes set, skin graying, and all vital signs absent. Don’t ask me how it happens. It just does.”

    The scariest part is…Tom Cruise and other Scientology kool-aid drinkers actually believe L Ron’s psychotic ramblings about raising the dead too.

    I seriously think anybody who actually believes they can “raise the dead” has a underlying psychological disorder.

    It’s so sad to see Scientologist’s (like the Jim Jones followers did) happily surrender common sense and reason.

  • SandiCorrena

    The diploma holders look like they were rode hard and put up wet! Wonder how co$tly those certificates were?

  • mirele

    Just reporting in to say I saw the LRH ad that starts out with the bogus claim about “youngest Eagle Scout” and continues with a long list of lies tonight. It ran at about 5:57 p.m. Mountain Standard Time on KPHO, channel 5 Phoenix. My mother was not happy when I cussed floridly at the TV. I did not apologize. I have no respect for Hubbard or for DM.

    • stillgrace

      It amazes me that DM thinks he can fix this mess with television ads.

      • 1subgenius

        I like Jenna’s description of him being a bully who’s afraid to show his face.

        • stillgrace

          I finished her book this weekend. I admire deeply the way she refused to be cowed by people with evil intentions; people who thought her individuality had no place. Go, Jenna!

    • SP ‘Onage

      Yeah, we can expect more desperate ads showing up on TV, billboards, internet, etc. They’ve really been on a publicity drive in Australia. Good, let them waste their money. No amount of money can save their bad reputation.

  • dbloch7986

    I dropped a new blog post y’all.

    http://dbloch7986.blogspot.com

    This one is about working in the Sea Org.

    • 1subgenius

      Just visited your blog for the first time.
      Nice job. Keep up the good work.

    • jensting

      (Posted more on WWP.)

      This is an important story. It is also a story that people want to hear.
      In Amazon UK, Jenna’s book is second in sales ranking, trailing John
      Sweeney’s book. The fact that your writing leaves me a sickly green with
      envy can’t hurt .

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Good job per usual kid.

  • dbloch7986

    I’m so glad you found the “Bring back to life assist” Tony. I was going to mention it if you hadn’t said anything; Scientologists really think that it is possible to use Scientology to kill and raise the dead. It still fascinates me that people really believe something which has never been shown to work in practical application. I mean if you could kill someone with your mind powers you could essentially murder anyone you want. I guess that people think that OTs are so perfect that they would never kill someone.

    It kind of makes one wonder why they waste so much money following all their targets around when they could just dispatch a gang of OT assassins to take care of them. Or just raise an army of zombies.

    Where are the Scientology zombie memes when you need them?

  • Unex Skcus

    I’m gratefil to LRH for clarifying the speed of sound… “They’re going past Arcturus, as I’ve said before, at 90 miles an hour, or two light years a second”. Despite not being a mental genius myself, I nevertheless calculate 90 mph being roughly 132 feet per second, and since that’s two light *years*, LRH wisely states that light travels 66 feet – in one year. And those physics idiots think light would travel some 186,000 miles per second? LRH is just brilliant.

  • EnthralledObserver

    I am just gobsmacked at what seems to be such short sightedness when I read Marty’s blog. Now Mosey is touting how ‘Auditing’ helps her ‘choose’ not to create baggage that she might unwillingly carry around with her for the rest of her life. I really think they (these Indies) believe we (everyone) are all a bunch of insecure, bumbling headcases that are bumping into walls at every turn because we our minds (thetans?) are so ‘aberrated’ or mixed up. I have news for them… I think I am FINE the way I am! And I’m troubled by the idea that they are sooo unhappy with themselves that they believe everyone NEEDS fixing.
    They tout their “Make the able more able’ crap… but really Scientology isn’t for the able… we’re the ones calling BS!!

    • 1subgenius

      And supposedly Mosey’s dad is a psychologist of some sort, who (according to Marty) agrees with much of Scientology.
      And knows nothing about history or brainwashing apparently.
      They’re all idiots.
      Marty is hiding behind the religious cloaking otherwise he’d be liable for practicing medicine without a license. One would think Mosey or her dad would know better.
      They’re all idiots. Ooops, I said that already.

      • EnthralledObserver

        Mosey’s rambling explanation reminded me of that chick a few days ago – Tom Cruise’s former assistant, saying virtually nothing with dozens of sentences. Only this case Mosey said the fucking obvious… well, duh – every mature person should already have this skill – no auditing necessary. And how much would that have cost you, Mosey, had Marty not been your partner?
        Religion my arse… BS! Idiots…( I shall reiterate for you. 😉 )

        • stillgrace

          I like Mosey. I say ‘live and let live’ on this one. No harm, no foul.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            I like her too. But in all honesty I haven’t been able to read Marty’s blog lately.

            It always makes me want to do the downward facing dog.

            • stillgrace

              great pose for optimizing circulation to the brain.

  • Mr. Fabulous

    “…2 light years a second”

    L. Ron Hubbard there, demonstrating his complete incompetence when it comes to scientific matters!

  • Maximus1

    Great work as always Tony! I shall send a commendation for your Ethics file! Just so you know, tone 40 isn’t necessarily using a forceful voice, it’s just making a command or request with total intention and expectation that it will be done. Therefore you could be tone 40 and be whispering in someone’s ear.

  • I’m Catholic. My religion is as strange as Scientology. My God sits in the clouds watching everything that goes on here. His son, my savior, born of a virgin, walked on water. The problem with Tom Cruise for me, is his fanaticism, that would be bad if he belonged to any religion. I will never agree with the deletion.