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Dianetics Noir: Dangerous Women Hiding Their Womb-Secrets

Lauren_BacallWelcome to our ongoing project, where we blog a 1950 first edition of Scientology’s bible, Dianetics, with the help of ex-Scientologist, lawyer, and author Vance Woodward. Go here for the first post in the series.

We’re finally going to finish the chapter “Mechanisms and Aspects of Therapy” this week, Vance, and we won’t really be very sorry to see it go.

By this point, Hubbard is just riffing on what he’s previously proposed, generally rehashing his ideas about engrams picked up in the womb and how to remove them so they stop affecting adult life.

In the final portion of this chapter there’s a lengthy example involving a woman who is skeptical about the auditing that her husband is going through.

That skepticism is making the man’s own auditing take longer, and we’re told that the couple’s nine-year-old child is also a nervous type because of his mother. When the husband suggests that his wife was “aberrated” and could benefit from dianetic therapy, she blows her stack, withdraws their money, and absconds with the kid.

But this story has a happy ending. Eventually the woman relents, gets auditing, and then discovers that she is suffering from the usual horrific womb-stories that Hubbard has a knack for finding…

It was instantly discovered that her father had many times threatened to kill her mother and that her father had not wanted her. Further it was found that her father’s name was Q and that her engram bank was strewn with remarks such as “Q, please don’t leave me. I will die without you.” Additionally, when she was no longer in session, she suddenly volunteered what was to her a hysterically humorous fact that all her life she had been having affairs with men named Q no matter what their shape or size or age….She divulged that she had tried many times to abort their son because she was terribly frightened that he would be a blond whereas she and her husband had dark hair. Further, the engrams of that child, she knew, contained data which she considered incriminating beyond mere abortion; while pregnant she had had intercourse with three men other than her husband.

Another woman who is a danger to her fetus is ensnared and neutralized by the Great Scientist.

VANCE: Yes, Hubbard saved the day once again.

A bit later on in the chapter, I noticed Hubbard was already laying down cult foundations: “One either practices all dianetics and gets results or practices himself into a decline: that is a mechanical, scientific fact. Dianetics, as a self-protecting science, demands practice by clears or at least good releases.” Yes, Dianetics is always effective but it demands Clears and “good releases,” which I take to mean that only Clears and good releases can effectively apply Dianetics. So, the reason you aren’t getting results is that you’re not a Clear or a good release. The solution is to continue auditing until you are.

There’s another example here that struck me as autobiographical.

THE BUNKER: The story of “R” and “C”?

VANCE: Yes. R was “high dynamic.” C was apathetic. C didn’t understand the auditor’s code, got mad at R while auditing him, and so forced R into an anger valence. Ultimately, they audited out the bad auditing (yes, you can do it). R audited out a dental extraction engram, “which contained an enormous amount of conversation between the dentist and his assistants and R’s mother, who, unfortunately for his sanity, had accompanied him to the dentist’s office.” Next C realized that she’d been a pretty lousy wife and needed to start treating R better if she were to get any results from auditing R (this might have been induced by the 50-point IQ increase she obtained from R’s quality auditing). Later, “it was suddenly disclosed” that the reason R got so upset with C is because C reminded R of a nurse from a tonsillectomy. Case closed.

Maybe it’s the “R,” but this example always struck me as being semi, if not entirely, autobiographical.

THE BUNKER: And assuming you’re right, this portion of it seems especially revealing…

His ulcer stemmed from an attempted abortion. His father, an extremely aberrated individual, had sought to abort the baby when it was seven months in the womb. The mother remonstrated that the baby might be born alive. The father said that if it were alive when born he would kill it as soon as it came out. He had said, further, that the mother had to hold still while he operated. On another occasion the father had said that he would lock the mother in a closet until she decided to abort the child. (This case was much complicated because the mother had been afraid to tell the father and had pretended not to be pregnant for three months, giving the husband the belief that the child, seven months along, was actually only four months along. Therefore, there was much secrecy in the case, much confusion and conflicting data.)…R would now cooperate but his time track had wound into a ball around the holder engram, the key. Two exodontistries for the removal of wisdom teeth with nitrous oxide anaesthesia were also suppressing the prenatals.

As you say, Vance, case closed. And if that’s true, did Hubbard believe his mother had tried to abort him, and had succeeded in injuring him so that he suffered from an ulcer as an adult? As we’ve seen in previous examples, that’s a scenario that Hubbard seemed to believe was surprisingly common.

We can’t leave this lengthy chapter without quoting one of the biggest howlers in the entire book.

“Charlatanism is almost impossible where dianetics in any of its principles is being practiced.”

Sometimes, you just have to admire Hubbard’s chutzpah.

 
——————–

Last Night in LA: Scientology on the Big Screen!

CinefamilyEvent

 
Mark Bunker tells us that last night’s Cinefamily event was a big hit, with a packed crowd and numerous surprises. Held at the Silent Movie Theater in Los Angeles, the event featured two classic Granada documentaries about the church introduced by Bunker, A Faith for Sale and The Shrinking World of L. Ron Hubbard. Also seen was the beloved music video, “We Stand Tall,” and a panel discussion that featured Battlefield Earth screenwriter J.D. Shapiro. Also on hand to field questions were Tory Christman and Norway’s Geir Isene, who are seen here with event emcee Hadrian Belove. Bunker tells us Isene put on a demonstration of auditing (using Belove as a guinea pig) that was remarkably fun and not nearly as repetitive and boring as actual Scientology processing. Way to go, Geir!

 
——————–

Posted by Tony Ortega on June 20, 2013 at 07:00

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If you’d like to help support The Underground Bunker, please e-mail our webmaster Scott Pilutik at BunkerFund@tonyortega.org

 

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  • Observer

    Here is what I’ve learned from Dianetics so far: women are unstable, adulterous monsters who always try to kill their offspring in the womb, inflicting one traumatic experience after another on any of such offspring who manage to survive the pregnancy, and from whom no worthwhile or happy experience has ever been had. And L. Ron Hubbard, while able to fix these poor excuses for human beings with his incredibly thoroughly researched Dianetic method, had a twisted and repellent imagination and no ability to write dialog that sounds like it would be spoken by any sane human being.

    • tetloj

      Truly – how did this shit survive the seventies…

      • tetloj

        Answering self – how dare I question the man who determined that human breast milk was not suitable to feed to human babies (head slap)?

        • Missionary Kid

          You don’t hear any of that until after you’ve been conditioned by the crew.

        • Edward Whalley

          No, it wasn’t just breast milk, it was modern breast milk. Modern women, with their cigarettes and their anxiety, and whatnot, have poisonous milk!

          • FistOfXenu

            It’s because of all those ebil wimmin that wanted to abort their kids but screwed it up unconsciously postulate poison into their breast milk.

            • Sherbet

              Wait — it’s not just the ebil wimmin. Don’t forget the vicious men who beat their wives because they wouldn’t abort.

            • FistOfXenu

              How did they poison their wives’ breast milk? They had to wait til the kid went onto formula.

            • Poison Ivy

              “Take that,” I say. “You’ve got to take it!”

        • screwsci

          Barley water…..when my daughter had her baby, the Sea Org cousins converged on the scene to share their baby raising advice which included the barley water bullshit. This from her 3 female cousins who married at 15 and 16 years old, never had children and are now divorced as directed by SeaOrg mandates. Crazy!

          • FistOfXenu

            Barley water? You mean you can’t just give them rice and beans and CalMag and megavitamins as soon as their born? That’s not good. It means they’re being rebellious and pretending to be children. They need baby auditing and baby sec checking! “Have you in this or any other life time dirtied a diaper or spit up or cried when you were hungry? Tell me your crimes!” “WA-A-A-AH!”

            • tetloj

              Have you raped a baby…err…I mean…another baby

            • FistOfXenu

              You mean an adult in a little body don’t you? Could it be that in $cientarCONon “ethics” there can’t be a classification of crimes against “children” because they don’t recognize children as needing special care and protection or that they have special rights?

              That’s not really a question.

          • Exterrier

            Jeesh!!!

        • monkeyknickers

          God can you BELIEVE the fucking nerve of that guy. Somebody shoulda fed HIM on barley water, the pasty, bloated old toad. *

          *apologies to toads everywhere

        • richelieu jr

          The only reference i know to ‘barley water’ was from Mary Poppins in Jane and Michael’s letter for the advert for a nanny…

          “..and never smell of Barley Water!”

          I took it to mean whiskey, but live and learn.

          • tetloj

            Yeah – never got that either…

        • richelieu jr

          My kid just started on food other than formula yesterday. Green beans; And he luvved ’em!

          • ParticleMom

            Impressive, I could never get my kids to eat anything green!

            • richelieu jr

              Mine eats anything and everything. No teeth yet and I’m already afraid to get my fingers to close to his mouth!

        • grundoon

          PROCESSING A NEW MOTHER – HCO BULLETIN OF 20 DECEMBER 1958 Next, the delivery itself should carry as little anaesthetic as possible, be as calm and no-talk as possible and the baby should not be bathed or chilled but should be wrapped somewhat tightly in a warm blanket, very soft, and then left alone for a day or so….

          On the baby, perhaps the best thing is no processing for three days. Then talk to the baby, tell the newcomer he or she is welcome, then make friends. Various things can be done—touch assist is best. Even the birth engram can be run but that’s a little adventurous in a lot of cases.

          The most to know about the baby is not to tire him or her unduly for a week or two, feed a protein formula if mother not breast feeding. This formula is most like human milk. I picked it up in Roman days and have used it since—15 ounces of barley water, 10 ounces of homogenized milk, 3 ounces Karo syrup (this can be multiplied by any number according to the number of bottles desired but the ratio remains the same). Evaporated or condensed milk and heavy sugar make fat not bone. Protein is the thing that heals and makes strong growth. Modern hospital formulas and patent mixes for babies are not just bad, they are criminal.

          Then the next important thing for a baby is to know he or she is winning. Don’t expect him or her to do more than a baby can do. Grant beingness to a baby. “You make that body lie in that cradle” is wonderful on babies up to six months. Let the child see Mama and Daddy both at least once a day. Never quarrel or argue in front of a baby or a child—it destroys security….

          L. RON HUBBARD

          • Exterrier

            What the??????? Unbelievable.

      • Missionary Kid

        When people don’t really read all the resources, or the resources aren’t available, you can fool people who come in contact with a group as to its real purpose.

        Think of how the message is conveyed. You want to do better in life and to make the world a better place to live in. “We” can help you with it all, and you’ll end up a better person, just like the smiling, happy, creative people you see around you.

        This stuff wasn’t really exposed to the public.

      • Sherbet

        How did it survive the 1950s? How submissive were women then that they accepted this drivel as the truth and “fact”?

        • FistOfXenu

          Sherb, people here have posted some of the commercials and stuff from the 50’s before. This is the only 1 I can find again right now. You’ll see for yourself.

          https://securecdn.disqus.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/512/4775/original.jpg

          And yeah families really lived like that back then. But I can tell you my old man never beat my mom and my mom didn’t try to kill off us kids.

          • Sherbet

            Thank God Betty Friedan came along, or I’d be cooking 7 course meals, hiding illegitimate children, and bringing Mr. Sherbet hand-cobbled slippers every damn night.

            • FistOfXenu

              Guess I answered your question though. 🙂

            • Poison Ivy

              You mean you don’t do all that now? ‘-)

            • FLUNK_101

              I thank science and technology for all of the new freedoms women have today.
              Improvements in science and technology have always changed the way we lived … of course, then there’s the ensuing political debate, which sometimes does more harm than good …
              But real freedoms come from real knowledge, not some make-it-up-as-you-go-along political theory!
              Betty Freidan might have been a nice lady … but … She said that Freud was right to reject Victorian attitudes about sex, but that he focused too much on biology! History has proven Freidan to be wrong, there’s no doubt about it … I wish more people were aware of that.

            • Kim O’Brien

              oh for fucks sake Flunk

            • Robert Eckert

              Of course he does. That’s why you should get him a sandwich *ducks*

            • PreferToBeAnon2

              {you deserved that downvote!} <— note the sarcasm indicator… This works, unless Robert is thinking that I just gave him a hug

            • richelieu jr

              Duck sandwich… yummmmm!

            • Sherbet

              When I think of Betty Friedan, I think of the word “choice,” and, to me, that’s what was so important in her message. I remember those days, and homemaking was a good choice if one wanted it. However, it was a revolutionary idea that a woman — like a man — could choose what she wanted to do. I remember when the “help wanted” pages in the newspapers would say Men’s Jobs and Women’s Jobs, and the latter were pretty much all clerical, while the former were professional. Again, I had a clerical job for a long time, and there’s nothing wrong with it, but to know a woman actually has a choice was an eye-opener. And that concludes the political portion of my program.

            • Kim O’Brien

              “choice” …..i love that word

            • richelieu jr

              that’s only because you were genetically predisposed to like it.

              and/or

              and OTVIII wanted you to type that

            • FistOfXenu

              Go back even before that and they just posted “jobs”. People found their housekeepers by word of mouth or from special agencies. Nursing didn’t advertise. Being a clerk was how MEN learned a company from the ground up.

            • FLUNK_101

              I agree with everything you said about choice, but I still think it goes back to science … if we went back in time to the old, pre-scientific infant mortality rates, the main choice was to have a lot of kids or go extinct … maybe that’s an over simplification, but I think you get my drift.

            • monkeyknickers

              And thinking about cutting his brake lines. Oh wait – that’s me. Heheh.

          • monkeyknickers

            Wow.

            Fuck. That. Shit.

            • Kim O’Brien

              Amen sista …

          • Sid_Sn

            This “Housekeeping Monthly” article is almost certainly a hoax, which is a shame since it makes some very good points.

            • N. Graham

              Like what?

          • grundoon

            The clipping is fake. It’s unknown whether the text is real or a parody; but it is not unlike genuine materials of the time. http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp

            • FistOfXenu

              The clipping is fake. The attitudes it expresses aren’t though they’re exaggerated and the reality was more subtle. If you aren’t old enough to remember it you’ll have to take my word for it. I lived in places in America in the 50’s where a woman was expected not to work after she got married and some places where she wasn’t even expected to drive a car. Things were starting to loosen up a little in the late 50’s but it was slow. Big city life was always gonna change faster but for real people in the rest of the country fathers usually ruled by right and mothers resorted to charm, flattery, wheedling and emotional blackmail when their husbands wouldn’t listen to reason. Husbands that gave in to their wives too easily were considered “hen-pecked” and they were the butt of humor.

              Of course it was more complicated than that sounds and every couple found their own natural way to do things but men were expected to be in charge of their family. Smart men knew enough to work like a team with their wives not push it to extremes. Stupid men were bullies and acted like the husbands in a Hubbard anecdote.

          • Douglas D. Douglas

            Um, you do know that the above is apocryphal? No one has ever found this in any publication. It definitely did not appear in this form– there is no “Housekeeping Monthly” and the illustration is from a 1957 edition of John Bull magazine. This list of supposed “rules” for the “good wife” has been circulating for some time, attributed to a variety of sources. It certainly represents a backward looking mindset, though. I’ll give you that.

          • Lilaeth

            Argh, things like that make my head explode!!!

        • Observer

          http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=R4mP54qsH5U

          I’m on my phone and can only pull up the mobile YouTube site, so if this doesn’t work go to YT and search for MST3K Home Economics. It’s worth it!

          • ze moo

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoqtTrb3I0w

            The 50’s were a crazy time. The mst3k Home Ec film is hilarious.

            • Captain Howdy

              That was enjoyable..plus Kay is kinda dreamy.

            • ze moo

              You really should get out more.

            • Captain Howdy

              Oh, I’ve been out enough to last a dozen lifetimes for the average person. That’s why I don’t go out much anymore.

            • richelieu jr

              Plus you’re old and used up and children point at you and laugh…

              (I mean that in the nicest way of course!)

            • monkeyknickers

              Thanks to you, Ze Moo, I have just spent a good quarter of my work time (mixing tracks or shmoozing or hustling licenses – my nieve goes to pre-preschool for a few hours every day so I can do these things to keep us in beans :)) on this show. I mean, as a whole. It is SO funny. I watched 892 of them. Well . . . . maybe that’s exaggerating a LITTLE. Thank you so much for introducing me to this fantasticalness. 🙂

          • Sherbet

            Love. It. Observer.

        • richelieu jr

          Not only back in the day folks:

          http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/06/19/spanking-for-jesus-inside-the-unholy-world-of-christian-domestic-discipline.html

          Though personally i think this has very little to do with Jeebus and very much to do with repressed people trying to find an outlet for their kinks… I mean, doing it for fun is sin, but if God WANTS you to have spanking, etc then… Well, you take one for the teem, don’t you?

          • ParticleMom

            Kink between fully consensual adults = fun. Doing it in the name of god = abuse.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Even worse….how did it thrive in the seventies?

    • monkeyknickers

      It really has been making me wonder what happened with Hubbard’s mother (and father) – basically they sorta fall off the map after Hubbard started his career as the world’s most awesome, intelligent, prolific, bestselling, wildly imaginative author ever.

      Was there contact? Did he go to their funerals? What was up with the rest of his family? (not his kids and so, I mean the family in which he grew up) Did they see their grandkids? Etc.

  • Xique

    Love today’s title, Dianetis Noir: Dangerous Women Hiding Their Womb- Secrets. Fantastic. I’ve got to read it now.

  • FistOfXenu

    Okay all you dangerous women here. Time to start confessing all your dangerous womb secrets to us!

    This just gets crazier and crazier. And I get more and more convinced that LRH’s parents were the real source of most of the batshitness. If we could go back in time I think we’d see some of all this stuff in his mom and dad. I figure his dad for a wife beater. And when he got drunk and they argued I bet they said stuff about whether they should’ve aborted Ron. I also figure they had pretty loud and rough sex sometimes and didn’t always close the bedroom door.

    I wonder if Ron ever came up with an “example” that showed how somebody’s balls hung too low because of failed abortion attempts. Or any of the other stuff he admits to being wrong with him in his affirmations.

    • Captain Howdy

      From what I’ve read about it, it seems that LRH had the idyllic Mid West childhood. I think maybe some gypsy woman gave his mom the evil eye when she was pregnant, and LRH was born under a bad sign with bats in his belfry.That sounds plausible to me.

      • Phil McKraken

        You can’t expect to know what really happened inside the Hubbard home. Just because there are no reports of abuse in the historical record doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. As for me, I have no idea. But LRH had a very definite fixation with violent scenarios between parents of unborn children. It appears over and over and over again.

        His fixation with traumatic dentistry has a source that he himself has identified — a specific trip to the dentist involving nitrous oxide. Too bad he never revealed the source of his attempted abortion fixation.

        • stateofcircle

          Per his biographies (not the Sciloon-endorsed ones), he wanted his first son, LRH Jr. to be aborted and I believe tried to convince his poor, poor wife Polly to try, after she had several miscarriages. First of all, I definitely don’t think he wanted children, because it would greatly impinge on his philandering, as evidenced by him leaving Polly for very long stretches of time to go to NYC and LA to write and try to con people into liking him.
          I also wonder if Polly’s miscarriages had anything to do with all of this. Did he believe that she actually tried to abort those zygotes herself? Since he believed all medical issues were all in a persons head, it’s not a stretch to surmise that she brought it on herself physically. I think he felt very trapped in his first marriage, which he deluded, and a lot of his lunacy about women and babies came from that time.

      • Casabeca

        Someone in my family has NPD and is very anti-women, his mom especially. He had a loving home generally, but his dad was bully at times.
        But the dad is almost worshipped and the mom reviled. None of the other 8 kids saw it his way.
        So I just wonder where the narcissism starts and why. And woe be unto you if you try to frustrate a narcissist!

        • Spackle Motion

          I have personally known 3 males with NPD and it usually starts with the child being idolized by one parent and simultaneously abused by another (could be another parental figure).

          And I don’t buy into the common writings about NPD that the person deep down feels empty and disgusted with himself. I’ve seen where NPD makes the person completely unable to do any self-reflection to be able to experience these feelings.

          NPD, like most personality disorders, is caused mostly by nurture, not nature. But I think that one has to have a predisposition for certain personality disorders. I’ve had 3 close relatives with BPD and another close relative write a book on it. Personality disorders are strange things and can be very, very destructive.

          • stateofcircle

            My mother has BPD, so may I just offer you my virtual hugs and strength.

            • Spackle Motion

              Thanks. I have gotten pretty good at spotting personality disorders by now.

          • tetloj

            It seems he was somewhat idolised by women in his life – very indulged by aunts if I remember rightly…but narcissists learn how to launch a charm offensive early in life. Secretly hating women, but charming them to get what he wants, laughing at them and and reviling them all along…

          • ParticleMom

            This really makes sense to me. My mother has NPD. Her mother admitted to trying to abort her and they always had a strained relationship. Meanwhile, her father adored her and focused all his attention on her. She has always hated women.

        • monkeyknickers

          You clearly know my ex.

          🙂

        • Kim O’Brien

          ok ..what is NPD ? ( i am guessing ..”no pussy disorder” ? )

          • Observer

            Narcissistic personality disorder

            • FistOfXenu

              After you meet a couple you start thinking “noxious personality disorder”.

            • stillgrace

              Due to an unfortunate 18-month experience in my younger days, I am now an expert on detecting the symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I can now spot them a mile away. NPD’er? No, thank you, no crazy-making for me! I can’t stand them … or bullies, either.

            • sugarplumfairy

              I love that about you..

            • monkeyknickers

              I seem to be making a habit of them, even if they have a flashing neon sign affixed to their foreheads. You’re a wise lady to bag it early. 🙂

          • Captain Howdy

            LoL! You’re too fucking much. And HPD is “hot pussy disorder” in case you were wondering.

      • N. Graham

        Everything about him seemed pretty normal and not out of the ordinary. Here are pictures of his boyhood home and the main drag of his hometown, Tilden, Nebraska. Slice of Americana! Who would guess the terrors that went on here? The attempted abortions, the number of people who would get “knocked cold” in their day-to-day lives, the adulteries and other sinful transgressions. Why, it was just a little Peyton Place!

        • Kim O’Brien

          Nebraska IS a nightmare …

          • MO Mom

            I hate to wake up sober in Nebraska….

        • richelieu jr

          I hear he was adored and spoiled rotten by his aunts in particular.. The whole extended family was together for a while..

    • Edward Whalley

      His hair was a different color from both his parents. We call it recessive genes, Papa Hubbard may have had …other ideas….And yes, I am quite sure that he’s projecting his lousy childhood on the rest of the world…

    • tetloj

      Who needs to worry about prenatal engrams when you can have fun seriously messing with your kids as they grown up. Sleepless nights, cracked nipples, mastitis, wearing projectile vomit, supermarket checkout tantrums – they deserve it the little scamps.

  • 10oriocookies

    I am in mourning today, dressed in black, smoking a cigar and randomly shooting things in my yard. RIP James, you’ve done more for the world than Scn ever will.

    • FLUNK_101

      RIP James Gandolfini. A great actor & one of the greatest TV performances of all time, period.

      • Captain Howdy

        As far as TV drama goes, for me it’s Gandolfini and Ian McShane as “Al Swearengen” at 1 & 2.

        This is really fucking sad.

        • monkeyknickers

          God what a fantastic performance McShane gave (and gives!). I LOVED that show. The writing was like Shakespeare, except for “Lo what light thru yonder window breaks!” became, “Cocksucker, who left the fucking light on! Let’s get busy.”

          • Captain Howdy

            “The world is a panoply of cocksucking hoople-heads!”
            Al Swearengen

            • FistOfXenu

              On Hollywood Boulevard.

            • richelieu jr

              Well, if the voice of charly brown is in jail for stalling and threats, or whatever…

        • tetloj

          Ian McShane will always be Lovejoy to me

          • Missionary Kid

            I agree. Ian did a fantastic job on that series.

    • monkeyknickers

      I know . . . . it was really very shocking. 🙁

      Relatedly, should I know your general vicinity so I can stay out of your yard today? I don’t want any trouble, paesan. 🙂

    • Poison Ivy

      A very humble man and actor. During the early “Sopranos” mania, he refused to get involved in the whole celeb thing, and generally demurred on interviews. I recall he said something (paraphrase) like “I’m an actor, I landed an amazing role, I just do the role, I’m not that special.”
      The man had his demons but the word in the biz is he was always a gentleman and absolutely professional to work with.

    • Spackle Motion

      I plan on running all 6 seasons in the background today. I am still in shock.

  • Captain Howdy

    “she suddenly volunteered what was to her a hysterically humorous fact
    that all her life she had been having affairs with men named Q no matter
    what their shape or size or age”

    Huh? Could it be possible?

    • Observer

      Snort!

      • Captain Howdy

        Well, Hubbard said that science fiction was actually science fact, and that the people writing it didn’t realize that they were recalling whole track incidents.

        So maybe Q is behind this whole fucking mess! Wouldn’t surprise me…not one bit

        • FistOfXenu

          Yup. She was working her way through the whole Q Continuum. She liked the dress up. He likes infecting the human race with ideas from Hubbard’s horseshit books and lectures.

        • Imelda Marcos

          Red Dwarf is real? 😉

          • Captain Howdy

            You betcha!

        • FistOfXenu

          Even Plan 9 from Outer Space? 😮

          • Sherbet

            No, sorry, you can’t tie that classic turkey to Q or lrh. Take a bow, Ed Wood.

            • FistOfXenu

              If Humbug could write Battlefield Earth why wouldn’t he claim Plan 9 was true too?

            • Sherbet

              Good question, Fist Man. Did lrh’s crap include zombies?

            • FistOfXenu

              Better. He had DISEMBODIED zombies. (all together now “oooooooooooooo!”) Body thetans. Gazillions of them. Like in 6th Sense “I see BTs. All the time. And they don’t even know they’re BTs.”

            • Sherbet

              Ha! You win! lrh invented EVERYTHING in the world. All rise and hail lrh!

            • N. Graham

              It’s NOT true?

            • Robert Eckert

              It’s based on sworn testimony!

            • Captain Howdy

              Vampira is true for me.

          • Bella Legosi

            SHHHHHHH!!!!!

            How can grave robbing succeed if you give away the operational name?!

            After watching the Kardashian’s for the first time the other night, I can be led to believe there is a graverobbing, body snatcher, invader force. On the plus side, if they came to planet Earth and choose to take over the Kardashian clan, then they are not to horribly bright!

            Is it sociopathic to smile/laugh when I watch Kim put on her cry faces? Has Bella found a cure for depression? Sell Kim Kardashian clones in cages, charge extra for a cattle prog (or a good oak stick if you want to go all old school) and poke her with it! 😀 I think I am on to something!

            • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

              My theory is that the NSA is having to build the multi-zettabyte facility in Utah only to segregate the Kardashian’s nutty data away from the info they’re really looking for.

            • FistOfXenu

              So it’s true that family is all zombies? Makes sense.

            • Bella Legosi

              Yep, Chris Jenner feasts on infant orphans and gives the scraps to Bruce Jenner.

              {I mean how else can you really explain it?}

        • Victoria Pandora

          sounds like something q would do for fun,lol.

        • richelieu jr

          There is distinct strain of Trekkism infecting this list, Captain..And I’m beginning to think that you may be patient zero!

    • Kim O’Brien

      you sir…are an artist and a mind reader. How many guys named Q could there possibly be ?

      • Sherbet

        Well, there’s the tech guy from the James Bond series…

        • Kim O’Brien

          yeah but she is supposed to be a slut ..2 Q’s makes a slut ? 😉 Shit ..she is practically a virgin

          • FistOfXenu

            You have to remember, the Q isn’t just 1 person. That’s why they’re called the Q Continuum.

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Q_Continuum

            They’d’ve kept her busy a long time.

          • Sherbet

            Not if she started with “A” and worked her way to “Q.” Still, I wouldn’t call her a slut. Just friendly and popular.

            • FistOfXenu

              WOW! And people doing A to E think they have it bad!

          • richelieu jr

            You have no idea how funny that sentence is in French…

        • richelieu jr

          That tech guy in the Bond films got more tail than Sinatra because of that name, I can tell you!

          • Sherbet

            I think it was his looks that attracted the babes. He was, what?, about 90 years old?

      • Poison Ivy

        http://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/decades/names1950s.html

        Favorite baby names 1950. Not a “Q” in the bunch.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Quentin?

    • claybonnyman

      Extremely minor observation: Hubblebubble named his kid Quentin.

      • FistOfXenu

        Maybe he was hoping there’d be a crazy woman out there that would want to sleep with his son because his name started with Q? 😛

      • Sherbet

        Oooooh, good one, Clay.

      • claybonnyman

        His gay son who would tragically kill himself and who, if I recall, he basically rejected because he was gay.

        • richelieu jr

          Apparently when poor Quentin killed himself L Ron said “He’s done it to me again!”

    • Victoria Pandora

      oh, i so love the q. my own daughter is named quintessa, so i just call her q. i hope she never comes in contact with that slut in dianetics, god only know what would happen;)

      • richelieu jr

        Or anyone who speaks French…

    • Guest

      His gay son who would tragically kill himself. Sounds a bit like karma, no?

    • Spackle Motion

      OMG. This is exactly what I thought when reading today’s post.

      I LOVE Q. He should have been used more in the movies instead of having the Borg show up everywhere.

      • richelieu jr

        I love de Lancey, but I’ a bit iffy on Q– sometimes great, sometimes, very, very bad indeed…

    • Chocolate Velvet

      Eeeeee! It’s a Q! My favorite denizens of the Star Trek universe. I had the same thought when I read that. Fellows named Q — hmmm.

      Cap’n, I love you… 😉

      • Captain Howdy

        Thanks CV and right back at you.

    • richelieu jr

      In fact, as being a slut goes it’s much less bad than, for example, sleeping with anyone whose name contains the letter ‘e’, or perhaps who has a name starting with D….

    • richelieu jr

      Here too, I am obliged to say that in French ‘Q’ (queue) is our dirty word for the male sexual organ…

    • Veronica Dee

      I thought exactly the same thing.

    • Skymouth

      You’re not the only one who thought that! Lol!

  • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

    So … if wombs are such dangerous, engram producing environments … do Scientologists ever buy those teddy bears that are supposed to replicate sounds from the womb (e.g., mom’s heartbeat) or are they afraid of restimulating themselves or their kids?

  • sugarplumfairy

    I’m a nurse and consider myself fairly kind and empathetic.. But too bad hub’s mom failed..

    • Andrew Robertson

      “I’m a nurse and consider myself fairly kind and empathetic”

      Of that I have no doubt. But perhaps also with a slight hint of sternness and discipline towards pusillanimous and time-wasting patients?

      “I am Nurse Plum and you will do exactly what I tell you. Now open your mouth and swallow these pills!”

      Andrew

      • Captain Howdy

        Yeah, they’re all kind and empathic as long as you lay off the buzzer and don’t ask for more pain meds.

        • sugarplumfairy

          Unless you need the pain meds.. If you need them, we never mind your asking..

          • Captain Howdy

            Awwwwwh…ok, hook me up buttercup, and let’s get this party started!!!

        • richelieu jr

          I had one tell me there was no such thing as ‘pain’ only ‘discomfort’ once…

      • sugarplumfairy

        You are an excellent judge of character..

  • sugarplumfairy

    And re the charlatan comment? Important life rule: never believe anything that comes out of a charlatan’s mouth.. or typewriter..

    • FLUNK_101

      “never believe anything that comes out of a charlatan’s mouth.. or typewriter.. ”

      … or ass!

      “Sometimes, you just have to admire Hubbard’s chutzpah.”

      Hubbard may have had some chutzpah, but he was still a tuchas.

      • ParticleMom

        More like a fakakta mashugina!

  • BosonStark

    Before Dr. Hubtard “discovered” [the scientific basis for] past lives, he sure crammed a lot of his snake oil into the gestational period, with the basis of this being the fetus comprehends/remembers words which is extra nutty to begin with.

    • Robert Eckert

      To be “fair” to Hubbard, he did not believe that the fetus understood the words at the time, but he thought that the memory works as an ultra-exact tape recording, so that as the growing child acquires language he tries to puzzle out the meanings of these subconsciously stored memories like a tongue obsessively probing a piece of food stuck in a back tooth.

      • BosonStark

        Even an adult inside a uterus would not be able to hear distinctly enough for the memory to store these sounds as words.

        • Robert Eckert

          Oh poo, you’re probably thinking in terms of physics and acoustics and all those other hifalutin’ fields that LRH was the only real expert in.

          • FistOfXenu

            You tell him, Robert. Every body repeat after me, “the science doesn’t matter”

            • Missionary Kid

              {The science doesn’t matter, unless it’s LRH’s science.} {} denotes sarcasm font.

      • Illinoisian

        I always wonder about mondegreens being part of the process, resulting in really odd engrams. (Ok, engrams are odd by definition.)

  • Kim O’Brien

    Overall message from LRH ..the womb has teeth . Any woman who follows this guy just hates herself ..and any man who does ..just hates women . How in the hell does a scientologist rationalize this crap ? Lemme guess …the womb is an allegory

    • SciWatcher

      I think I’ve said this before, but Hubbard’s worst nightmare is the movie Teeth!

      Men’s fear of a woman’s ability to reproduce and the mechanisms of that reproduction goes way way back into classical literature and beyond, and has been the cause of much subjugation.

      This also makes me think of medieval representations of the hell mouth, which was usually depicted as a hole with teeth.

      • Captain Howdy
      • claybonnyman

        Ah, vagina dentata. An ancient fear.

        • monkeyknickers

          Yay again! You people are GOOD with vag-related wordplay. I’m stealing all of these.

          • And I don’t rent cars!

            Then you might like the Hubbard’s “Here Comes the Vagina Monsters” see top of page 5 from National Lampoon’s “Diarrhetics: Leave the Thinking to Us”
            http://www.xenu.net/archive/books/lampoon/lamp1.htm

          • richelieu jr

            I prefer word-related vagplay, myself…

            • monkeyknickers

              HAHAHAHAHAHA

        • tetloj

          vagina dentata – sounds like a Disney song. Woops – that’s hakuna matata

      • Kim O’Brien

        I actually had a conversation ( ? ) with a male indie here ..who was trying to tell me that men can understand being pregnant and going through labor. Idiot .

        • Sherbet

          I’ll bet you wanted to reach through the computer and slap the guy upside his head, Kim.

          I always remember a line from “Night Court” that giving birth is like pulling a Cabbage Patch Kid out through a nostril.

          • monkeyknickers

            Or pushing a watermelon out your ass. 🙂

            • Casabeca

              But for you it will be gentle bliss ;-).

            • monkeyknickers

              And THAT is why you are my very favorite person in the world right now, Casa. :))

        • Spackle Motion

          Seriously? I missed that conversation here.

          If Scientology’s lure to provide super abilities is strong enough to break parental bonds (which may not have been very strong in certain cases) then it is strong enough to delude men into thinking they understand being pregnant and going through labor.

          • FistOfXenu

            enough to delude Cruise into thinking he had the right to tell off Brooke Shield for taking medication for depression after her pregnancy.

            • Casabeca

              Deluded is right! That was ridiculous. But then he invited her to the Italian wedding to Katie, so all fixed…NOT!

        • Poison Ivy

          I’m a woman w/out kids and even I can’t understand it! Geez!

          • monkeyknickers

            So . . . . do you want one? Just . . . . wondering. :))

            I’m overstocked at the moment.

            • Pinkhammer

              I’ll take one! ;D

            • monkeyknickers

              Great! They’re all on sale too! Were you interested in the Ash, Delphine, or Ruby model? 🙂

            • Pinkhammer

              Love the names!

              You can send them all… We’ll have camp for the summer! They may have to pull some weeds and sweep out the garage, but then we can make cookies!

            • monkeyknickers

              I’ll put ’em in the post upon arrival, girl. 🙂 But Ruby and Delphine are instantly grounded once they bust into the world for making me puke every quarter hour. 🙂

              AND I LIKE COOKIES TOO YOU KNOW. :))

            • Pinkhammer

              Ok! The girls will be confined to the pack-n-play and I’ll just send you the cookies!!

              Hopefully they will shape up soon… I have a friend who was hospitalized because she pinched a nerve puking so violently with her first. Not Fun!

              But wait, I just remembered that the puking is just from an engram! A little auditing should clear that right up for you…

            • FistOfXenu

              monkeyknickers, you just been regged.

            • monkeyknickers

              Luckily, I have two cans of Campbell’s Tomato Soup in the pantry. I’ll set ’em up on either side of the xBox with some tin foil in between and see what happens.

              That puking thing freaks me out tho. !!

              Also, heads up the oldest one is addicted to Beyonce. Just warning you. I’d say start learning the choreography now. 🙂

            • Pinkhammer

              That sounds like it will work just fine…

              Beyonce, huh? I wonder if there’s a Just Dance video on YouTube I can practice. I think that’s about as close as I’ll get to her choreography, I’m afraid. Although I do love a room full of 6 year olds having a Just Dance party! =)

            • ParticleMom

              I need a girl to complete my collection!

            • monkeyknickers

              Have I got a deal for YOU, PM! Take one get one free! 🙂

        • stillgrace

          I had a colleague once tell me that I wasn’t a real mother unless I had more than one child … for real. The same guy used to chat me up before company meetings, and then rush to present my ideas as his. Heh heh! I fixed him up good. Heh! Ah! Some memories are sweet.

        • Espiando

          If that was Theo, he’s a bountiful cornucopia of misconceptions. Did he try to claim that the reason he could understand going through labor was that he’d been through labor numerous times on the Whole Track? Or did he think that this reason was so obvious that he didn’t have to mention it?

        • stateofcircle

          Next time a man says that, just give them a glycerin suppository and watch as they cringe. Then tell them to fuck off.

        • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

          Based on conversations with Mrs. X and watching her go through the process I, as a male of the spices can unequivocally state that I can understand being pregnant and going through labor with the following caveats and notations.

          1). Intellectual understanding is -not- the same as “been there, done that” understanding
          2). Being kicked in the gonads is not the same (what might be similar is not the same)
          3). Having accidentally initiated a colon cleanse resulting in the feeling of being a character in “Alien” for 6 hours and losing 25 lbs. does not equate to 9 months of human gestation (14 for Kobollians)
          4). Never, ever have these conversations with the mother of your children (or anyone else’s) if you do not want to end up on the side of a volcano tied to a H-bomb

        • richelieu jr

          have you seen the clip of the tow guys they wired up to experience labour pains?

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw5ayibQ-E0

      • Poison Ivy

        Well, think about it. For someone like Hubbard, who dreamt of Godlike Powers for himself (dreamt that he deserved them!), it must be a stick in the craw that he can’t actually create life – the ultimate power. And most any average woman can do that – sometimes quite by accident!

        • ze moo

          His jealousy does stick out doesn’t it? Lrooon seems to have had most psychiatric disorders, from depression to schizoids of all types.

        • SciWatcher

          Hahaha, exactly!

        • richelieu jr

          I can’t rmemeber who it was here that litstened to my music but the song ‘Morning People’ is about giving birth,a s wlela si could imagine it as a male. I speak of all the people preent at the birth and what it means to them. I would be thrilled to have your feedback on the lyrics, ladies (those of you quite rightly appalled at my egtistical coopting of this space scroll down now..) I was very proud of them at the time; You cna be totally honest now, as decades have passed… 🙂

          (this is the upbeat, ’60s’ sounding one with the jangly guitar)

          morning people

          dr forceps says ‘the time is coming soon’
          he puts his hand inside he womb
          one final push will bring alight into the room
          whose first smell is her perfume

          love’s labour done now, the mother draws a breath
          able hands they press the body to her berate
          her mother’s mother’s mother’s brought her to this place
          now she finds the next in line has come to take her place

          but there’s all kinds of morning people in the world
          all kinds of people up and out of bed
          there’s all kinds of morning people in the world
          all kind of people I have met

          the scissors sing their song as one turns into two
          the nurse’s hands are strong, she knows just what to do
          she takes the little form her eyes so wet with fire
          she hl’s the little life so like the one that died inside of her

          (and she said)
          (wake up mourning morning people)

          he was angry baby
          such sad little baby
          lust have been a mishandled baby
          but he could have been my baby, my baby- oh!

          but there’s all kinds of mourning people in the world
          all kind so mourning people, some dead

          he’s feeling tired although his morning’s going fine
          the doctor sips his coffee quickly now, there’s not much time
          ‘there are worse jobs to have in life,’ he says to me
          ‘some satisfaction comes from simply standing by the tree.’

          but there’s all kinds of morning people in the world
          all kinds of people up and out of bed
          there’s all kinds of morning people in the world
          sometimes i think they’re just like me and other times

    • monkeyknickers

      “The womb has teeth” is the awesomest thing I’ve ever heard ever.

      And is exactly what I’ll be telling my dates from now on.

      • FistOfXenu

        And if your date is a dentist? That conversation could get strange real fast. “I’m not after sex, I just think you could do with a check up. By the way, do you floss regularly?”

      • BuryTheNuts2

        My dream girls date is you and Kim and lots of tequila!

        • Kim O’Brien

          make it vodka and we have a deal !

          • BuryTheNuts2

            Vodka and decoder rings it is.

            • Bella Legosi

              lol sorry had to link……..this is totally what came to mind

              http://youtu.be/iTfHXPaAHMo

              I miss my show 🙁

            • George

              My decoder ring doesn’t work if I’ve had too much vodka

            • BuryTheNuts2

              With enough vodka, I don’t need the decoder ring.
              I just make up my own new soopersecret codes.
              They are so tough to crack….I can never remember them the next day!

            • monkeyknickers

              You’re a mere 10 hour drive from LA girl! Come on down! I’m not sure where Ms. O’Brien is, but I know she needs a proper night out. 🙂

        • monkeyknickers

          Well, what’s stopping us!? We can have a club called the Snark Sisters or something. With a decoder ring. And so on.

          It’ll be vodka for me tho – I had a very troubling experience with tequila early on in life and even now I can’t hear the word margarita without wanting to hurl. 🙂

      • Missionary Kid

        What if they’re masochists?

        • FistOfXenu

          what if they have a tooth fetish?

          • richelieu jr

            Silly boy, the Tooth Fetish doesn’t exist!

            How old are you anyways? It was just your parents who could take the tooth and leave money under your pillow!

            • FistOfXenu

              Does the money have a womb?

            • richelieu jr

              The money can went a womb for thiwty dowwars.

            • FistOfXenu

              Pesky wabbit!

            • richelieu jr

              Da sign says ‘Westinghouse’ doesn’t it? So I’m westing!

        • monkeyknickers

          Oooooooo. Good point. Maybe I should require them to take the Sci personality test first. And then take their money. Huh. This could be a lucrative side biz. 🙂

          • Missionary Kid

            The $cion personality test is a great way to pump info out of them that you can use against them. Blackmail, emotional and financial can ensue.

            • monkeyknickers

              Hmm. I’m bad at that. And I am positively the WORST most untalented liar you will ever meet. It’s a little embarrassing.

            • Missionary Kid

              I’m a very talented liar, unfortunately, to myself. 🙂

            • monkeyknickers

              So how’s it done, brother? I frequently embarrass myself.

            • Missionary Kid

              Fortunately, I’ve never deluded myself into becoming a $cion, but I’ve convinced myself to get involved in some destructive relationships.

              If you’re not a good liar, how do you keep confidences?
              I like honesty, but being honest to oneself is the most difficult task.

      • FLUNK_101

        “This pussy has teeth,” is a line from the movie, “Liquid Sky.”
        “Womb” is more powerful … I’ve heard Greek men use the Greek word for the womb, “mitra,” to describe a woman that was “to die for.”

        • monkeyknickers

          Huh! That is super interesting Flunk!

    • richelieu jr

      ANhyone seen the movie ‘Teeth’?

      Vagina Dentata is all the rage these days lady…

  • villagedianne

    When I read Dianetics in the 1980’s I did not disagree with all of the ideas Hubbard expresses. However the anti-woman tone of the book was a huge turnoff. The whole style of the writing was off-putting.
    Also many of Hubbards concepts seemed borrowed from Freud.

    • stateofcircle

      It leads one to wonder why there are so many women in the cult. After reading, nay suffering, through Dianetics, how can a female member feel good about themselves? If a womanis reading it with serious intent, does she start to believe she has hidden desires to abort her child since Hubbard says it is so common, and convince herself that she’s always been capable of these bad things, thus being a bad person? There are many people who say they got a lot out of Dianetics and joined the cult because of it. I understand the 1950’s were a very different time, but how could any woman (or man, for that matter) read it today and see any validity in it whatsoever? I could go off on a very long rant about this, especially since I have been reading along with this series, but I will spare all of you. I’m not much of a rah rah feminist type, but this book definitely brings it out in me.

      • phronsie

        Why are there so many black people in the Later Day Saints?? Why do Western women convert to Islam?

        • N. Graham

          It’s been said that the Republicans have become more misogynistic but you don’t see many women leaving the party because of this.

          • richelieu jr

            It’s been ‘said’?

            See above for my ink of Christian women getting beaten by their husband for the glory of Jesus…

      • villagedianne

        I knew some Scientologists in the 80’s and they were all staunchly pro-life, presumably because of what they read in Dianetics. They knew what was right because they were so ethical you see. The Scientologists thought very highly of themselves. That’s why it was such a shock when I read about coerced abortions in the Sea Org.

  • Sidney18511

    Stock up on popcorn…….Bert Leahy, the dude who was hired to film the squirrel busters is making a multi-state scamapalooza documentary. Check out this story by David Love and get the scoop.
    http://www.examiner.com/article/scientology-facing-documentary-expose-by-texan-bert-leahy

  • It’s funny how in retrospect those supposed engramic accounts read like badly written lines from 1950’s serial soap operas.

    “Please Lafayette, I implore you! Do not hit me again! Think of our baby!”

    “But I shall Olivia, again and again, you adulterous hussy! You are a trollop, do you hear me, a filthy trollop!”

    • Espiando

      Sounds more like 1850s than 1950s, except not good 1850s stuff like, say, Dickens. One has to wonder what kind of literature Hubbard’s grandmother had on her shelves in Montana.

      • stillgrace

        Aw …. Espiando … You really are so cute in real life.

        • Bella Legosi

          Ok……..seeing the flame up late last night………I must say I like having Espiando among us! I appreciate their words and willingness to confront and shatter with prejudice! I like their style. Nuff said, as I do not want to start a flame thread!

          But I do love the meme! 🙂

  • ze moo

    Lroon was a very strange strange sociopath. Something happened in his early life to make him anti-woman. I doubt we will ever know why. That it exists tells much about Lroons mental state, such statements today would trigger an investigation into possible serial murders.

    The anecdotal ‘evidence’ Lrooon produces wouldn’t convince the Loch Ness monster that Bigfoot exists. How anyone can even think the word ‘scientology’ and not burst out laughing is beyond me.

  • George Layton

    A reincarnated warrior from an
    extinct galactic race,

    While wandering through the
    universe happened on THIS place.

    Armed with nothing but the engram
    fabricated in his mind,

    Took up that most imprudent task
    of saving human kind.

    He’d changed the definition to
    what would suit him best,

    And made stories up declaring
    it’d been put through every test.

    A science from a far off world
    under space cadet control,

    That hovers in non-gravity of an
    inside-out black hole.

    Where every thought’s, the only
    thought and everyone’s a clone,

    And even if you want them to,
    they won’t leave you alone.

    Where every problem comes about,
    before you’re ever born,

    And if left alone your mind will
    be bewildered, scarred and torn.

    Where every picture in your head
    comes from a prior time,

    And believing none of this is
    true is a monumental crime.

    One must wonder with us humans,
    such an imbecilic lot,

    Why such a higher being would
    give us a second thought.

    Perhaps it was, we humans had hardly
    left our caves.

    What better place for him to
    find, a world of likely slaves.

    But he had his work cut out for
    him, for advanced technologies,

    Were quite beyond our sappish ken,
    and caused our minds to freeze.

    Failing each and every test, no
    matter how we tried,

    He stayed steadfast in his
    resolve to save our sorry hide.

    “I’ve a bridge across eternity,
    to the reality that’s true,”

    “By ignoring everyone but me, I
    can deliver it to you.”

    “Only I can say for you what’s
    best and that alone shall be,”

    “You all were lost! I found you,
    now praise and worship me.”

    Yet still we could not get it
    right through trial after trial,

    Achieving only glassy eyes and
    painted on bright smile.

    Making neither heads nor tails of
    the teachings that he wrote,

    It’s small wonder that we homo
    saps began to get his goat.

    He started drinking heavily and
    taking loads of drugs,

    DT’s set in and infested him with
    spaceman kooty bugs.

    He then tried to convince us that
    we had those kooties too,

    And that he, and ONLY HE, knew
    exactly what to do.

    Then the traveler up’d and died!
    Now only his notes remain.

    After close examination, we’ve
    confirmed him quite insane.

    Now in the past ten trillion
    years, I’d think it’s safe to say,

    Galaxies have had their share of
    wacks they’ve sent upon their way.

    Now wouldn’t it be this planets
    luck or karma some might term,

    That in all the universal space,
    WE’D end up with this worm.

    Was there not more than quite
    enough to weigh upon the mind?

    Before this wack job showed up,
    to help torture human kind?

    Well now he’s gone let’s hope
    he’s lost and can’t find us again,

    But should he return to the Milky
    Way, let’s refuse to let him in.

    • Sherbet

      George, that’s lrh and scientology in the proverbial nutshell, with all nuttiness intact. Bravo!

    • FistOfXenu

      You should turn that into a music video for next time we have to suffer through 1 of the cult’s cRap videos.

    • ze moo

      The last 2 lines would make a great chorus….

  • claybonnyman

    Great Xenu’s ghost!

    Having (thankfully) never read “Dianuttics” or any of the other Co$ canon, I’ve been amazed and amused by Vance Woodward’s tour-de-lunacy.

    One would think that upon reading the whole crazy show that is “Dianuttics” any half-sane person would see these alleged case histories as merely an expression of one man’s bizarre obsessions and thinly veiled misogyny. The frequency of abortion attempts and violent battles while Junior has his ear pressed to the womb wall alone are red flags ripping in the fiercest of winds screaming “STAY THE F*** AWAY!”

    I always worry I’m insulting someone here who spent time in the “church,” but man! Hubblebubble wasn’t shy about revealing his own bizarre psychological wounds in all their tragic glory. Hard to understand why more of his acolytes couldn’t see them for what they are upon first encountering his addled ideas.

    Fascinating, captain.

    • FistOfXenu

      “tour-de-lunacy”. Good.

    • Sherbet

      I agree, Clay, and I know from these posts that many intelligent people found themselves in scn, so I know its allure was strong. However, I still imagine droves of people at lrh’s lectures scratching their heads, muttering the 1950s equivalent of “WTF?”, and heading for the exit, leaving the lecture room empty.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      I think it is quite revealing that so many Scientologists have never managed to slog through Dianetics.
      Perhaps if they had choked it down: it may have shortened the cycle to get them to the real EP of Scientology.
      That Hubbard was full of crap!

      • Bella Legosi

        Well think of the many Christians out there who have never picked up the Bible! It is these types in any religion, that just want the secure feeling that a crutch gives them. If they really cared about their “eternity” they would most definitely have picked up the book that started it all.

        • Sandy

          Oh, Bella. That reminds me of a blog I used to follow where some “Christian” was on an anti-gay rant, quoting good old Leviticus 18 (of course). A very clever woman proceeded to spell out all the rest of Leviticus to this person, who had obviously never read it. Was one of the funniest things I have ever read on the Internet!

          • Robert Eckert

            A lot of Christians think they should read through the Bible, and find Genesis interesting, Exodus a little less so, and then trying to slog through Leviticus defeats them utterly, so they cheat and skip to Revelation.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              I went Genesis, and then to Revelations, and then straight to Richard Dawkins.

            • Missionary Kid

              I told my ultra-fundamentalist Christian sister that whoever wrote Revelations was on acid.

        • richelieu jr

          Sheesh, Leviticus is a walk in the park compared to ‘Numbers’…

          When I was wee lad I memorized every birth and death in the Old Testament f to win an original set of The Chronicles of Narnia. There be a lot of ‘begats’ and ‘slews’ in that brick of a book…

          • Missionary Kid

            Holy shit! That’s almost as bad as being in the sea org, as far as I’m concerned. Of course, by making you memorize all that, it kept you from doing other things.

            I was not inspired to learn scripture verses, but I memorized a lot out of the KJV. A few chapters, too. All I can remember now, over 50+ years later, are a few verses.

            I’d rather remember a lot of other things.

            • richelieu jr

              Scarier yet– did it of my own volition!

              I had a pretty great memory then (not now, unfortunately– I think I may have early onset Alzheimers), and I was snotty little jerk (instead of the snotty big jerk you know and love!).. We were supposed to memorize a bible verse and say what it meant, or something. Apparently I really understood the OT– All screwing and dying in there!

              At ay rate, I set off on this stunt and they followed along, amazed in the book to see if I skipped or jumped anything (I suppose I did in Leviticus where he has to deliver the foreskins of those he’s killed;. I think they let me off because they didn’t want to have to explain what foreskin was to 9 year-old…

            • Robert Eckert

              My family wasn’t even religious, but I memorized a bunch of begats just because. The sons of Issachar were Tola and Puah, Jashub and Shimron, four. I don’t know why bits of that stick with me.

            • Missionary Kid

              It’s the names.

            • richelieu jr

              Some of those names are amazing, aren’t they? My family wasn’t that religious, either– Kind off on and on, but mostly as a thing they were supposed to do on Sunday I suppose. When I was 5 I told them I didn’t believe in Goad and they took it as an excuse to stop going for 4 years so…

            • Missionary Kid

              That was about the peak of my memorization.

              Some of the verses come in handy, occasionally. As I would turn out the lights before settling down for some serious making out, I’d quote, “and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.” My dates would crack up.

            • richelieu jr

              Great quote and way to twist religion to your evil purposes, my dear! Good job!

            • Missionary Kid

              I still often quote Isaiah 5:11 when I want to sleep in. “Woe unto them that rise up early in the morning,…” Of course, I leave off the rest of it: “…that they may follow strong drink;” etc…

            • Missionary Kid

              For the quote, “and men loved darkness..” I was the man, so the women knew what my intentions were. I just realized that the way I wrote that, it has a different meaning for each sex using the verse. 😀

          • Bella Legosi

            I have a box set of Narnia from the late 70’s or early 80’s. That sounds like a lot of work for Narnia books lol I started reading the Bible a couple years ago and got to Numbers and stopped. I really lost interest. So, I am one of those who will bash you for quoting a book I myself haven’t even read! lol But, its forgivable right? I mean it is the Bible!

            • richelieu jr

              Numbers is such a slog. I think reading the phone book would e more interesting by far.

            • FistOfXenu

              A phone book IS a book of Numbers right? But the 1 in the Bible’s so out of date none of them connect to anybody any more.

  • Speaking of babies OTVIIIisGrrr8 has really outdone themselves with their latest post! http://otviiiisgrrr8.com/2013/06/20/church-of-scientology-now-selling-babies/

    • Bella Legosi

      Yeah tell me about it………I discovered that at like 2am……..thankfully those whom I live with are used to my outbursts of laughter at odd hours!

  • Spackle Motion

    “Charlatanism is almost impossible where dianetics in any of its principles is being practiced.”

    Sometimes, you just have to admire Hubbard’s chutzpah.

    It is my opinion that Ron was very aware (in the early days) that he was making this all up and pulling a lot of legs. I also believe that “selling a bridge” was chosen on purpose.

    • richelieu jr

      I truly think there is something to this, and so does Vance Woodard, according to his book..

  • Sarcasmo

    Does anyone know why Vance’s book, ‘Addicted to Scientology,’ is no longer available at the iBooks store? I downloaded the sample and liked it so much I wanted to buy the rest, but it now says “this book no longer available in the US.” I’ve also heard videos about $cn. Have been removed from his website as well.

    Could it be that for professional reasons (not wanting to scare off potential clients doing Google searches?) Vance has decided to distance himself from the subject? I’m assuming Tony’s discussions with Vance were done all at once, or in a few meetings rather than on a weekly basis, so it’s inknown to me whether these discussions on’Dianetics’ were completed before the book became unavailable.

    I liked what I read of Vance’s book and unfortunately am left hanging as to the rest of his story. Any info.?

    • Captain Howdy

      From what i’ve read Vance decided to drop the scientology references from his website because he decided he didn’t want to be known only as the ex-scientology guy.

      • Sarcasmo

        I can understand that, though once something is placed on the Interweb it’s archived somewhere, and thus becomes a part of one’s “permanent record of life” I was warned about as a child. Wish Vance’s book was still available, but I fully understand wanting to move on and leave the cult behind.

        • N. Graham

          Check your local library system.

          • Sarcasmo

            I would love to, being a big fan of the library system, but I live in Peru where libraries aren’t as prevalent, and I doubt they’d have any $cientology themed books anyway – despite $cn fundraising trying to place the Ron series in every library in the world.

            I’ll try with my old US library’s online collection. I know how Vance’s story turns out anyway, just wanted to read along for the ride.

            • richelieu jr

              Right you are. It is really worth it! (I left my copy on the bus!)

    • richelieu jr

      I have spoken with Vance about this, and he is indeed trying to take stuff down for the moment that might give a misleading idea of who he is.

      A pity because his voice is really unique and his point of view perceptive and educational. Not to mention hilarious!

      Here’s to his getting a great gig so we can partake some more of his wit and hardly acquired wisdom!

  • Poison Ivy

    “and a panel discussion that featured Battlefield Earthscreenwriter J.D. Shapiro” – Oh, Tony! Any way there is a transcript or vid of that discussion? Sounds like comedy gold!

  • whingeybingey

    Oh, Tory, that is so cool!!

  • N. Graham

    I don’t think the lady that mated with anyone with a name that started with Q could have been that active. After all, there aren’t many names that start with Q, other than the aforementioned Quentin. There is
    Qadir, Qasim, Quade, Quanah, Quennell, Quentin, Quigley, Quillan, Quiller, Quimby, Quincy, Quinlan, Quinn,
    Quinton, and Quintrell. And of course, “Q” from the James Bond movies.

    The only ones I’ve ever actually encountered are Quade, I have a great-nephew with that name, and Quincy, but only one person ever with that name (I never had the pleasure of meeting John Quincy Adams or Quincy Magoo).

    So, to date, I haven’t met any Quannahs, Quillers, or Quanahs. I am wondering how, in the 1940s or 50s, she was able to find three men named Q in the space of a few months! She must have had people out there giving her Q-tips (sorry).

    • FistOfXenu

      Maybe she specialized in men with Arabic names? There should be some more Q’s there.

      I don’t even want to guess what she did with the Q-tips.

      • L. Wrong Hubturd

        I was thinking the exact same thing about Q-tips.

        I suppose if they had Qdoba back then, it would have been her favorite place to eat but according to Hubbarb, would have made her constipated or something.

  • dbloch7986

    I remember reading Dianetics wondering to myself about how frequently attempted abortions occurred in the 1950s. On top of that I wondered how this book was still relevant, since it focused on attempted abortions and we’re now in the post Roe v. Wade era. I don’t believe there are many unsuccessful abortions anymore. Perhaps Dianetics would have more success in a 3rd world country which doesn’t practice legal abortion?

    • Bella Legosi

      Great observation!

  • mook
  • Observer

    Am I the only one who misses our down-arrowing clam?

    • BuryTheNuts2

      No.
      I miss Downey too.
      Maybe he/she blew!

      I am such an optimist!

    • FistOfXenu

      No. I was getting used to the idea that we could maybe come up with some kind of A-E party for him or her or them. Throw a few ribs on the bbq and break out the Guinness and sing some songs. George has some good lyrics here today and we got the makings of a version of 16 tons yesterday. Could’ve been fun if down-vote stayed.

      • richelieu jr

        A is for the whole you pulled your religion out of
        B is for the beak that spit it out
        C is for the colour of your mane, dear
        D is for the dopes who lap it up
        E is for engrams you rode in on

        Put it all together it spells ‘SP’
        Cuz you’re eSPecially repulsive to us all.

    • Robert Eckert

      The clams are probably afraid that Disqus will let us know who down-arrows what, as it has been lately doing with up-arrows.

      • stateofcircle

        Or the NSA is going to tell His Midgetsty that his slaves are looking at entheta.

      • richelieu jr

        My thoery exactly, Eckert. And so ignorant about the Internet that hey didn’t try and find out or test it themselves…

        More examples of Hubbard-style thorough research! Just think of all the confront the could have unleashed upon us? We’d be broken people; all of us!

  • Bella Legosi

    Is that Ms. Francis Farmer?

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Bacall, I think.

      • Bella Legosi

        Thank you! On second look I think you are right!

      • Missionary Kid

        Agreed. I recognized the checkered suit from a movie she did with Bogie.

        • Bella Legosi

          I know which one you are talking about! I watched it a couple days ago on TCM. Is that the one shot mostly from Bogie’s POV and he is an escaped con that gets plastic surgery? The name escapes me!

    • Captain Howdy

      Francis Farmer? It’s Bacall from “The Big Sleep”.

      • richelieu jr

        Aie! Didn’t see you’d already set the record straight!

        • Missionary Kid

          Blame Disqus. It’s Becall in the Big Sleep, as you said.

  • FistOfXenu

    I just re read this part “Further it was found that her father’s name was Q … Additionally, when she was no longer in session, she suddenly volunteered … that all her life she had been having affairs with men named Q no matter what their shape or size or age”

    Is Hubbard claiming that this woman wanted to have sex with her dad? Or that women generally do? Or what?

    • Observer

      I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know the answer to that question.

      • FistOfXenu

        Me too and I’m the guy that asked. I was just thinking, like everybody said the world isn’t exactly overflowing with guys named Q____ so who was it she was trying to have affairs with when she was jumping into bed with guys named Q____?

        • richelieu jr

          Qbert.

          • FistOfXenu

            He ran for president back in 68. Qbert Qmphrey. Guess she would’ve had fun with him.

    • Bella Legosi

      At this point I would not be surprised if that actually was it. But, Hubbard would never have admitted that! That sounds too much like psychoanalyzing and German “man animal” Freud think. Hubbard really didn’t like to think Man really is an animal (like it or not he IS) and he had a special hate on for German shrinks.

      • Bleuler

        The thing is some us moved on after Freud. I was never trained in Viennese psychoanalysis. I was however trained in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Hubbie & Co. are still back in the fifties or sixties. They can not, and will not move on. No development can ever be made because any new “tech” is not KSW.

        • Missionary Kid

          50s or 60s? More like the 40s.

      • FistOfXenu

        Even though I know you’re right about him hating shrinks and Freud and all that his stuff sounds an awful lot like what you’d get if an ignorant man skimmed a couple of books about Freud and picked up a couple of points that he didn’t understand very well but sounded intelligent to him. You know, like he did with every thing else he claimed he understood but didn’t.

    • richelieu jr

      The pint is this woman was such an enormous slapper that she’d even sleep with guys with ridiculous names–even specialize in the perversion.

      Woman, is there no level to which you will not sink?

  • phronsie

    Is (or was) the script writer for BE a scientologist?

  • Bella Legosi

    Why do great ideas pop in your mind when you are doing little things?

    I was stiring my coffee and was quietly reflecting on today’s post. I was thinking about the scenario between the Man and Woman; where the Man is getting auditing and his wife is “suspicious” about it, thus making the kid afraid of it too. It goes on to say that the man confronts the wife and says she is “abberated”. The wife takes the child and leaves. I was thinking that this is a very appropriate response. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks……….All the scenarios in this book HAVE to have been recorded or heard previous to 1950. But, Dianetics wasn’t even written or available prior to 1950. Since we know where and what Hub did before writing this massive fraud, has he EVER written or been recorded talking about just HOW he came to talk to all these people and record their progress in dianetic therapy?

    I was of the opinion since Tony started this series, that Hubbard really made up most (if not ALL) example stories in this book. Upon reading shit like, “She was secretly attracted to all men named Q”, mom’s knock out fetuses by taking a dump, and a plethora of “SAID NO ONE EVER” moments, I have come to the conclusion that these interactions Hubbard illiterates really were all in his mind and never actually happened.

    • That is what I think too. People keep looking for the cause of this stuff, but we still live in a misogynistic society today, and the 50s were worse. There are plenty of women who follow religions that tell them that they’re evil, so it’s not like Scientology was different in that regard. Heck, at least Scientology didn’t tell women they had to submit to men in everything.

      Sometimes there is no cause, no “engram”, nothing but a horrible person figuring out a good way to make a lot of money by duping people. It’s actually sort of surprising to me that there aren’t more cults in this country than there are.

    • Missionary Kid

      {Oh, but Ron DID do all of that auditing for his research. He told everyone about it, so it must be true}

      {} Sarcasm front.

      • Bella Legosi

        I noticed the evolution of the font last night!

        • Missionary Kid

          I’m the one who came up with it. If it comes into use, I hope it could save a lot of misunderstanding.

          I don’t like the idea of paying $1.99 for an app with a new symbol, as somebody is trying to sell, and I wanted to make up something that would be available with just about all keyboards, including pad devices and smart phones. All I have to do is punch the shift key, and it’s available on my keyboard.

          Edit: If someone comes up with a better one, please share it with us!

          We’ll see if it catches on.

          • Bella Legosi

            {Smells like socialism Kid! Report to the nearest church and pray for this commie sin to be washed away!}

            • Missionary Kid

              {I’m a Commie Prevert,} Just ask my friends.

          • Sherbet

            I like it, Kid.

            • Missionary Kid

              Thanks, pass it on.

            • Sherbet

              {No, I won’t.}

            • Missionary Kid

              😉

        • richelieu jr

          where can we see this font?

          • Robert Eckert

            {you won’t see it on this board}

          • Missionary Kid

            I came up with it. Here’s a sample: {LRH was a fantastic, caring, humanitarian} That style of brackets is what I use to denote sarcasm. Yes, I know, it really isn’t a font, but I call it that.

            • richelieu jr

              Paranthetical truth is a font? Wow! I owe you a wad of cash!

            • Missionary Kid

              O.K., call it what you want. 😛

          • Bella Legosi

            It developed in the LEAK post……..I think if you scroll down, set Disqus to best, you maybe able to find the discussion between MK and a couple other bunkerites.

      • N. Graham

        You don’t believe him? You think Ron would lie? You should bow before Ron!
        Or better yet-PULL RON’S FINGER!

        • Missionary Kid

          {Oh, yes, Ron never lied. He did, as his further research revealed more data, correct and refine his earlier work. Since he’s dropped his body, I can’t pull his finger.} Written in sarcasm font.

          • FistOfXenu

            So that’s what really happened? Somebody pulled his finger just a little too hard and his whole body unraveled? Explains so much. Thanks.

        • Bella Legosi

          lol ok……Portland and it’s porn industry have really skewed my imagination.

          😀

          It looks at though Hub is cupping……..lol I don’t think I need to go on what he would be doing with his finger……….oh my I really have not grown up………my laughing is proof of this………wow I can’t look at that pic the same now with that in mind and the ridiculous smile on Hub’s face.

          • Captain Howdy

            Moar Finger Tech

            • FistOfXenu

              And what does that say about what he was doing with his finger up his nose?

            • Observer

              Smell my finger!

        • BuryTheNuts2

          Feel my finger…

      • Captain Howdy

        Your sarcasm font reminds me something.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          GAH!

          • Captain Howdy

            Today’s comments are perhaps the most degenerated yet. Marty would be aghast.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Marty would be full of gas.

              Fixed it for ya!

  • Missionary Kid

    Thanks to Mook, who put me on the track for this:

    David Love published an article in the Examiner about Bert Leahy, who was the non-scion cameraman hired to video the squirrel busters harassment of Marty Rathburn.

    Bert is now works against $cientology, but also has some criticism of Marty as well. http://www.examiner.com/article/scientology-facing-documentary-expose-by-texan-bert-leahy

    According to the article, “Now Bert Leahy from Texas, along with Colin Henderson from Oklahoma, and Paul Jay Salerno from California, will tour at least 28 Cities across the United States to film a Scientology expose.”

    There is a series of videos of Bert Leahy talking with Marty Rathburn here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lakPwHtkx5U

    Here’s a 2011 article in caller.com:
    http://www.caller.com/news/2011/aug/06/former-scientology-film-crew-member-describes-in/

    Bert Leahy interview on NBC Rock Center:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB4DrwT0Yzk

  • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

    All of this nattering “wog talk” of abortions when the fact is that we in the Church of Scientology are in fact helping babies:

    http://otviiiisgrrr8.com/2013/06/20/church-of-scientology-now-selling-babies/

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      We in RTC wish to point out that if you took a coat hanger to the head when you were in the womb, yes, it caused a major engram.

      But then again, one of the new Super Power rundowns involves shaving your head and inspecting for coat hanger scars.

      Fully 90% of people inspected have such scars.

      To audit abortion engrams on Super Power we in the Church of Scientology place the new cranial e-meter over the skull.

      A series of gentle and pleasant currents is administered and then the engram disappears.

      http://www.wired.com/news/images/full/neuronetics2_f.jpg

    • Captain Howdy

      If I buy a bushel of babies, do I get a discount?

      • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

        Yes, when you join the “Thetans in Small Bodies Volume Buyers Club” (TISBVBC), you receive a 10% discount on all purchase of seven or more babies PLUS:

        * A 20% discount on your next major Flag services

        * A 40% discount on your next major Freewinds service (discount does not apply to meals)

        * A 12.8% discount on all Mark VII e-meters in the discontinued orange color

        • FistOfXenu

          And as they get older can we use them to build stone walls and dig gardens and do other manual work around the house?

          • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

            The purchase of a baby from the Ideal Org Baby Farms entitles the buyer to do whatever they want with the infant:

            * OT’s Grant and Elena Cardone leased three babies for use as advertising props to sell used cars. When the babies are no longer cute, they will be turned in and resold by the Ideal Org Baby Farms.

            * OT Greg Wintegg has purchased a baby to give as a gift to a special client.

            * OT and Big Pharma Billionaire Bob Duggan has purchased twelve babies for use in medical research.

            * OT Tom Cruise has purchased one “highly deluxe” baby to star in his next movie called “After Battlefield Earth.”

            • FistOfXenu

              “After Battlefield Earth” I see what you did there

            • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

              LOL

        • Captain Howdy

          Will I get a commission if I steer Brangelina your way?

          • Sherbet

            Spit take! Very funny, Cap!

          • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

            Definitely.

            However, if you want a huge gigantic monumental FSM commission then get Brangelina on auditing lines at CCI!

            COB will even give you a special medal if you can land those two!

    • tetloj

      Clearly trying to attract the Madonna/Jolie market of whales

  • CommunicatorIC

    Because nothing says success like being forced to sell your home and
    giving all of the equity to the IRS to satisfy your 2001 tax liability.
    http://www.mikerindersblog.org/the-world-famous-finance-seminar-truth-in-advertising-check/

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      Such a bitter experience.

      All of that money going to the IRS when we in the IAS should have gotten it.

      One can see how (name deleted) was able to visit such a catastrophe upon this sector 75,000,000 years ago by use of income tax audits!

      • CommunicatorIC

        It is a simple matter of Be, Do, Have.
        Be a member of the Church of Scientology
        Do the “World Famous” Matt Feshbach Finance Seminar.
        Have no home, no retirement, and a legal duty to pay $120,000 per quarter to the IRS for back taxes.
        http://www.mikerindersblog.org/the-world-famous-finance-seminar-truth-in-advertising-check/

        • BuryTheNuts2

          Why are you busting the balls of poor Matt Feshbach?
          The guy already suffers from disabling chronic pelvic pain.

          {ARE U A SADIST?}

          • FistOfXenu

            Not to mention scaring himself awake every morning when he looks in the mirror.

          • richelieu jr

            If I were him I would start by not putting my penis in that Harpy and see if that helped…

          • grundoon

            Severe cranial impaction can be quite painful.

    • aquaclara

      2001. I just like to underscore that, too.

  • Sherbet

    Off topic, but does anyone who reads Marty’s blog ever see a poster named Sherb? It isn’t me, and I noticed her/him some months ago. I don’t visit Marty’s site, so I don’t know if that person still posts there. Anyway, I repeat: It isn’t me. Or I.

    • Captain Howdy

      I never noticed someone calling themselves “Sherb” on Marty’s blog. Now that I’m aware of it..WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES?

      • Sherbet

        Phooey. I tipped my hand there, didn’t I…bring on the cans. I’ve got cash.

        • Captain Howdy

          Have you ever destroyed a planet with a jim-dandy whizzer?

          • Sherbet

            Not yet.

            • FistOfXenu

              What are you waiting for?

            • Sherbet

              An iphone app.

            • FistOfXenu

              iWhizzer by Jim Dandy. For those times when a planet outlives its usefulness. Only $3.99 at your iTunes Store.

            • Sherbet

              It worked well for Pluto.

            • FistOfXenu

              And Goofy. Not so good for Mickey and Minnie.

            • Sherbet

              Oh, groan. Take that Fist and whack yourself repeatedly until you develop an engram or a bruise.

            • FistOfXenu

              😀

            • Sherbet

              😀 back atcha, and one 😀 for Howdy, too.

            • Sherbet

              I’m off to watch the ballgame. You two carry on without me, Captain Shecky and FistOfDangerfield.

            • FistOfXenu

              Dangerfield? I’m honored. I watched Rodney back in the old days. Funny guy.

              http://youtu.be/9FPv2toi5og

            • Captain Howdy

              The ballgame? You must be rich.

            • Sherbet

              On TV, not in Detroit.

            • Captain Howdy

              Show how much i love baseball.

            • richelieu jr

              Yeah, you gotta be rich to be in Detroit these days.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Or well armed!

          • L. Wrong Hubturd

            I once destroyed a planet after a meal at Taco Bell. It was a small planet and I had a lot of beans. It was somewhere in the Feta Alpha Rincewind Theta quadrant. Betcha didn’t know Taco Bell existed in other sectors of this guhLAxsee.

            • Sherbet

              Poor little “Yo quiero” chihuahua was probably collateral damage, you big brute, Hubturd.

            • FistOfXenu

              Did you happen to notice a bloated thetan with a giant boil on his forehead, surrounded by a haze of Kool smoke and mumbling to himself while masturbating under the table?

            • Sherbet

              THAT’S gotta kill a customer’s appetite. Urp!

            • FistOfXenu

              Just another Friday night around Amsterdam harbor.

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              Yes, and it’s very frustrating that people keep getting me confused with that joker. I think he was eating a choco-taco.

            • FistOfXenu

              Just keep both hands on the table. 😉

            • Captain Howdy
            • Robert Eckert

              Those Marcabian race cars were fueled by natural gas!

  • Kevin Tighe

    Wonderful photo of Lauren Bacall. Speaking of which here’s a little something from a 2005 interview:

    Q: Why did you object to a journalist’s use of the word legend to describe Nicole Kidman?

    LB: “A legend involves the past. And I don’t like categories. This one is great, and that one is great. I mean, the word great stands for something. When you talk about a great actor, you’re not talking about Tom Cruise.”

    Q: So you don’t think Tom Cruise is a great actor?

    LB “No, I don’t. His whole behavior is so shocking. It’s inappropriate and vulgar and absolutely unacceptable to use your private life to sell anything commercially, but I think it’s kind of a sickness.”

    • FistOfXenu

      And who’d dare argue with Lauren Bacall about that? She was a real star. Some thing you don’t see a lot of these days. Now we mostly just get celebrities.

    • richelieu jr

      Confession time: When I met Bacall for an interview for a little film i was doing, I was so star struck that I stole her matches.

      They ares til here on my desk as I write this.

      • Missionary Kid

        I never considered her beautiful, but I find her extremely sexy. It’s the intelligence and straightforwardness that are attractive.

        You’re a lucky man.

        • richelieu jr

          Don’t I know it!

  • aquaclara

    Could this be the leaks promised by crazed camera-in-a-tampon girl? I know we were tired of that topic, but….

    the documents have some interesting tidbits. Link courtesy of OMG and Anonymous on WWP.

    http://notflorida2013.wordpress.com/

    • BuryTheNuts2

      This looks interesting….at least what little I can pull up on my IPad.

    • Captain Howdy

      Sea Org members aren’t allowed to fraternize with public scilons when they’re off duty?

      • dbloch7986

        You’re not allowed to fraternize with anyone except Sea Org and family. Technically you’re not even supposed to spend the night at your family’s home off base. But they made an exception for minors while I was there.

        I had to keep so many secrets from my family because of the things that I wasn’t allowed to share with them at the risk of being “declared”

        • Captain Howdy

          Some poor half starved sea org member can’t even go over to some public’s house for a decent meal if they’re invited? That’s harsh.

          • FistOfXenu

            Course not. Slaves are more docile when they’re hungry.

            • dbloch7986

              Exactly!

          • dbloch7986

            You’re not allowed to have any communication with the outside world unless it’s Scientology-related and focused around your job as a Sea Org member. Even then it is heavily monitored. Visiting internet cafes, going to movies, going out to eat…all those things are strictly forbidden.

            It took me FOREVER to readjust to normal life. At least adjust enough so I could function. When you get out it’s like coming out of a daze. I missed so many technological advancements in the three years. I barely heard about 9/11. In many ways its similar to being released from prison. You were just stuck in some hole running in circles while the entire world moved forward without you.

            • Captain Howdy

              People in prison, at least in the U.S, have more psychological freedom than this.

            • Man that’s so fucked up. I had no idea Sea Org members were isolated to that degree.

            • ParticleMom

              In prison, you have fewer people bunking with you, you can watch tv, read, and exercise. You can even take classes in poetry (seriously, ParticleDad was scanning a Poetry Class Certificate today for one of his cases) or for college credit. The food might not be great, but at least it isn’t rice & beans.

      • Observer

        They’re never off duty, are they?

        • dbloch7986

          No you are not. I had my “liberties” (read: one day off every six months) cut short or cancelled at the last minute several times because of “urgent” situations.

          You have to submit a “Completed Staff Work” (“CSW” for short), which describes who is going to cover your “post” (job) while you are gone. How you are going to keep your “stats up” even though you are missing a day of work (usually meaning that you work 24 or 48 hours with no sleep).

          You were sent to ethics if your stats were down on a week that you took “liberties” and you were denied a day off.

          • Missionary Kid

            Derek, remember to post your fund raising site.

            • And I don’t rent cars!

              Since I asked him myself just recently, I’ll save Derek the trouble this time and post it now: http://www.gofundme.com/15sp1k
              I had planned to post his funding site at least once a week until he left but forgot to do so already. Glad you asked.

            • Missionary Kid

              Thanks. Let’s support Derek!!

    • dbloch7986

      I remember the ominous sign of a person being kicked out of the SO: the missing bed sheets where they used to lay. It was extremely sad.

      I am a bit disappointed in the footage here. There are much worse things that could have been documented. However, if OSA knew what she was up to, or if this was an OSA operation it’s not surprising.

      • aquaclara

        I get the sense, too, that there is much more that could have been documented. But even in the policy documents and letters, there is some revealing info, at least to never-ins.
        thanks for the link to the German site, too.

        • dbloch7986

          Admittedly, it feels somewhat vindicating to see those images out there. I wish you could have seen the squalor that I was forced to live in. There were 30 guys in my room stacked 3 bunks high.

          • Captain Howdy

            One poor person has about 6 inches between them and the ceiling.

            • dbloch7986

              That’s about how it went.

            • sugarplumfairy

              and compare that to the way miscavige lives..

            • Missionary Kid

              {Whaddya mean? DM lives like a monk.} <= sarcasm font.

            • sugarplumfairy

              a very well fed and dressed monk..

            • Missionary Kid

              {Yes, he lives just a little better than the lowliest sea org member}. {sarcastic font}

            • Robert Eckert
            • Missionary Kid

              Shorty lives far better than any of those monks. There’s no council to hold him back.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              You cannot walk a mile in COB’s John Lobb’s on a nurses salary!
              Unless you subsidize the salary with Captain Howdy!

            • sugarplumfairy

              It’s ok.. I’m more the hiker boot type anyway..

            • BuryTheNuts2

              OK, we’ll Cabelas bargain basement TEVA sales are pretty good!

            • Captain Howdy

              I wear boots all year round. People make fun of me.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              You still wear Dr. Maarten’s after all these years?

            • Captain Howdy

              Nah, can afford ’em and they’ve sucked for awhile anyway. Whatever they have at Marshalls is what I wear. Plus I have extreme flatfeet and wearing sneakers is like walking on nails for me.

            • richelieu jr

              I’ve got a pair of docs that are pretty comfortable.. I got another, tall ones on a great 70% off sale a couple of months back and I can’t walk far at all in them..

              I bought a par of sandals a decade ago and I still (no kidding) have scars on my feet…

              Anyways, whoever said the pint o docs was comfort?

            • Espiando

              The Docs that I bought in London in 1990 were one of the most comfortable pair of boots I’ve ever owned. However, I had to wear boots every day due to the occupation I was in at the time (hint: funny green clothing was mandatory), and anything was more comfortable than that.

              I miss those Docs. I also haven’t been back to London since that time. I need to go shopping. I also think that Derek should try rocking a pair of Docs and surplus ACU trousers. He’d look good in that combo.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              My only Doc/ came from Piccadilly square in 98.
              They rocked for long time!
              With tights and leg warmers….yeah really!

            • DodoTheLaser

              I love The Docs (army style) too. Too bad even them fell apart on me.
              Testing Rocky’s currently. If they will survive 12 month, I will be amazed,
              because nothing did so far.

            • sugarplumfairy

              Lol.. Me too.. well, not at the beach.. but i wear them a lot.. What can I say? The sole wants what the sole wants..

            • Captain Howdy

              I wear shorts and combat boots to the beach..who am I kidding, I never go to the beach even though I live right near it. It’s full of gang bangers, junkies, alkies and crackheads.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              I am a Dansko kinda girl!

            • DodoTheLaser

              Boots rule.

            • richelieu jr

              Bob Loblaw would walk a wobbly mile in COB’s John Lobb’s for his law blog!

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              I feel sorry if they wake up with morning wood.

    • dbloch7986

      http://www.wilfriedhandl.com/blog/2013/06/die-sonntagliche-betrachtung-von-scientology-24-woche-2013-sea-org-leak-yuliya-keaton-us-supreme-court-laura-decrescenzo-the-god-liars-vitina-marcus-jenna-miscavige-the-sun-aliens/

      Here’s another interesting one. It’s all in german but you can check out the various policies. If you have chrome it will translate the page for you.

    • sugarplumfairy

      Wow!

  • mook

    In a case of perfect timing, since John Travolta is making the rounds promoting his new movie, Roger Friedman reminds us that the Jett Travolta Foundation is continuing to dump money into CoS front groups. Lady Macbeth aka Kelly Preston aka Miscavige’s biggest ass kisser (based on what I’ve heard through a friend in the entertainment industry) is the one writing those checks. She has the upper hand in this faux marriage and JT knows it. Like I’ve said before, my friend said she is basically Miscavige in drag, very unpleasant to be around and abusive to anyone who works with her. (You’d be surprised what other crazies my friend has worked with and/or encountered. Mel Gibson, Nic Cage, Gary Busey, Faye Dunaway, that’s just the tip of the iceberg)
    http://www.showbiz411.com/2013/06/20/jett-travolta-foundation-donating-more-money-to-scientology-organizations

    • Observer

      That doesn’t surprise me. KP comes off as the Queen of the Deep Freeze.

    • media_lush

      you should go over to my http://scientologybollocks.blogspot.co.uk and read my last post about this …. ominous and spooky….

    • richelieu jr

      I have a friend who was Lou Reed’s personal Assistant and another who worked for Stephen Stills. No gifts, either, but I’ve met Stills and he is a real work of art, that guy…

      • Captain Howdy

        Worse than Reed? He’s a legendary asshole.

        • richelieu jr

          Yeah she said he was a real dick, which gave me a sad, but… Stills… I’ve only met the guy three times and each time he was doing something absolutely despicable–

          Bouncing a phone off my friends head (before portables were popular and small and they looked more like crank up army phones from Vietnam) and calling her a ‘stupid cunt’, screaming at wait staff in a restaurant ‘Do you know who I fucking am?’ That sort of thing.. lovely.

  • CommunicatorIC

    New Independent Scientology Not-For-Profit Membership Community REJECTS use of the word “wog.”
    http://www.iscientology.org/scientology-blog/468-milestone-two-disclaimer#comment-1920

    • Spackle Motion

      Is this supposed to be news?

      • Espiando

        Yes, and we’re all supposed to thank CIC for putting up ling to such dramatic pronouncements.

        Well, that’s what I’ve heard from Miss Manners and the other people who criticize me for taking the opposite attitude.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          Hey E!
          I love this kinda news flash from “indyville”.

          But I also have a twisted sense of humor and a very strong stomach.
          I was also very upset that I missed ya’lls fireworks last night.

          I love a good brawl!

          • Espiando

            The weird part is that I missed most of it too, and I was the central character in the whole schmeer. I posted the first salvo before getting on a Chicago-LA flight (the relatively calm stuff), then had to catch up and post from my phone during the thirty-minute gridlock crawl out of LAX to Fortress Rental Car and the forty-five minute wait in line at said fortress (huge number of people in line, few clerks, and then they ran out of cars and I got stuck with a minivan). I think that situation might have contributed a little to the atmosphere.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              I understand! Southwest Air just bought me a brand new piece of luggage a few days ago…..but Thrifty paid us back with a cherry red Impala.
              Thank god we brought the radar detector.
              And this trip is for pleasure!
              Facefuckinpalm!

            • Espiando

              The last time Southwest enturbulated me, I ended up with a canary-yellow Camaro from some off-brand rental agency, the most perfect La La Land car imaginable (except for lack of drop-top). This time, Southwest didn’t enturbulate me, and I got stuck with a Grand Caravan. Karma, meet ass and chow down.

              And that still hasn’t broken my personal record for worst combination of Southwest-Dodge that I’ve had to deal with. I can’t drive through the Ozarks ever again without Vietnam-style flashbacks to the Avenger with an engine that might have been merely an unaudited engram.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              The Ozarks?
              Nevermimd!

          • richelieu jr

            Some guy sure came at me, but i was too sleepy to return fire… (he’s probably preening in the mirror thinking of how he shattered me with his confront!)

            You catch any of that?

            (and I’d sure like to see some of the other exchanges!)

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Naw, I am all fucked up here due to time changes.
              America is too big!

        • Davka

          The wog post maybe not so much but Marty’s latest pst is something else – the schism between the fundamentalists and the post-Scientologists laid bare.. Or at least a lot of sour grapes, on all sides.

          • Missionary Kid

            L.Con Hubbard forced conformity and engaged in repression of independent thinking. Once the spell of his control is broken and independent thinking starts, splintering is inevitable.

            People will leave with different concepts of what is and is not valid any more in regards to the whole system of belief that was imposed on them.

            Some will move to the realization that everything that came from LRH’s source was built on a foundation of lies and half-truths. Others have so much emotional investment in KSW that they will not be able to move away from it very far.

            They will all change, and will all be at different stages. They will fight like cats and dogs because they don’t have a dictator to force his will on them.

        • tetloj

          If you’re referring to me my only beef is about people jumping to the OSA! conclusion.

    • tetloj

      How very un-LRH – squirrels! They split with Marty because he says LRH may not have got it right all of the time, then go ahead and question SAUCE!

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Good point. I was thinking the same thing.
        So who is in charge of picking and choosing when you can and cannot apply “the sauce”!

        Snort btw!

    • Missionary Kid

      To be frank, I’ve been wearing the title wog with pride here.

      Since it’s a degrading term, used by LRH, and the people driven crazy by his nutcase theories, I wear it proudly.

    • richelieu jr

      I think the Judean People’s Front was right to do this!

      I, for one, cannot tell you how honoured I am to think they consider me their equal (or at least not worth outright insulting) for no reason except I pay too little for too many books, instead of the other way around…

  • CommunicatorIC

    Mark “Marty” Rathbun on new Independent Scientology Membership Community, Milestone Two Ltd.

    http://markrathbun.wordpress.com/2013/06/20/the-way-out-is-not-the-way-back-in/

  • Anonymookme

    We get it! You’re an indie pushing the indie POV. You can quit now. From my POV “indie” is just another word for full, on, loon.
    Give it a rest.

    • CommunicatorIC

      I’m not an Indie. I simply have a hobby of keeping track of Independent Scientology, and reporting (or at least cross-posting) news from that area.

      Depending on what I cross-post, and whose ox is being gored or who is offended by the information, I’ve been accused of being: (1) an Indie or OSA here; (2) an Indie on WWP; (3) OSA or a hard core critic on Marty’s blog; and (4) OSA or a hard-core critic on the fundamentalist Independent Scientology iScientology Blog.

      I used to get similar criticism on ESMB, but they pretty much know and tolerate me there.

      http://linglogic.wikia.com/wiki/Attacking_the_motive

      • stateofcircle

        For what it’s worth CIC, I appreciate your posts both here and on ESMB, so thank you.

  • DeElizabethan

    I agree about Geir Isene. Way to go! Hope to see some vid in the near future.

    Nothing I care to say about a fetus!

  • CommunicatorIC

    LIVE! Milestone Two! Independent Scientology Membership Community!

    http://milestonetwo.org/

    • DeElizabethan

      Pfffftttt!

      • DodoTheLaser

        Bwahaha!

    • tetloj

      Our platform is based around a basic principle — DONES COME FROM EFFECTIVE DOINGNESS

  • media_lush

    I think the funniest hidden camera stunt ‘someone’ could do is if they could get a sort of Ron Hubbard in his 20’s lookalike, put him in a red wig and get him to just walk into the office “that is always left for him in each org” in, say, the LA or NY org and start demanding coffee, packets of cigarettes, latest stats etc…. refuse to leave under the pretext… “You’ve been expecting me for the past 30 years… well, here I am!”

  • Show Me an Fn Clear

    Mr Ortega, I’ve just listen/heard of your rimini vid.

    with you brother. Let’s get it done….

  • Guest

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