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Cinco De Funnies: Getting Drunk on the Wisdom of Ron!

Yeah, we know this is a stretch

Yeah, we know this is a stretch

Welcome to the Cinco de Mayo edition of Scientology Sunday Funnies!

We really can’t think of any sort of connection between our weekly collection of wacky Scientology mailers and a meaningless American holiday that celebrates binge drinking. But what the heck! We will toast David Miscavige with our first margarita tonight.

So anyway, our tipsters have come through with another collection of church come-ons, and it’s a good day for a chuckle, because we have a feeling that things are really going to heat up on the blog this week. Not only do we have several big investigative stories working, but we hear that some big legal proceedings we’ve been following are going to pop at any moment. This week is like a big fat piƱata filled with little tequila bottles just waiting to burst open!

All right, enough with the Battle of Puebla. Let’s get on with the Funnies.

 
In our first mailer, we’re excited to see that the church’s increased presence in our nation’s capital is already paying off in such an encouraging way! Look who came in for a tour and ended up with some exciting literature!

 
EmbassyOfficialEmbassyOfficial2EmbassyOfficial3

 
Next up: Even the Ron Series is now worthy of its own success stories! These books can’t help but turn the tide for the most ethical people on the planet!

 
RonSuccessRonSuccess2

 
You’re never going to achieve spiritual enlightenment without one of these babies to launch you into orbit. And what a bargain!

 
BlueEmeterBlueEmeter2

 
And talk about a bargain — what’s a little cheddar when it means you’ll be able to affect matter with your mind? Get ready to fly!

 
NewOT8aNewOT8bNewOT8cNewOT8d

 
On Friday, we published an e-mail which showed how much attendance at Saturday’s Ideal Org opening in Portland will be relying on outsiders showing up. And here’s more about how they’re going to get there!

 
PortlandFlier1aPortlandFlier2aPortlandFlier3a

 
Thanks again to our great tipsters — keep those mailers and fliers coming!

 
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Brandon Ogborn — Please Save Us a Seat!

Well, this is certainly welcome news here in the Bunker. Recently, Synthia Fagen did us the favor of interviewing Brandon Ogborn about his play, The TomKat Project, which is skewering Scientology and getting rave reviews in Chicago. Now comes word that the production will be included in this year’s Fringe Festival here in New York City this August.

Maybe we ought to arrange an Underground Bunker night at the show?

 
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Jason Barclay on Scientology’s “Vulture Culture”

Another film from Karen de la Carriere and Angry Gay Pope…

 

 
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Posted by Tony Ortega on May 5, 2013 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

If you’d like to help support The Underground Bunker, please e-mail our webmaster Scott Pilutik at BunkerFund@tonyortega.org

 

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