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Here’s Some Photographic Proof that Scientology’s “Ideal Orgs” Are Killing the Church

ValleyOrgLogoOn Saturdays, we like to talk Scientology history with author Jon Atack, but this week he’s been busy with a conference in Copenhagen.

So we thought we’d catch up with some interesting material that our great tipsters have been forwarding to us about how things are going in the Los Angeles area.

For several months now, we’ve been entertained by the shenanigans of Scientologists in the San Fernando Valley as they’ve gone to extraordinary lengths to raise money for a new “Ideal Org” that is part of church leader David Miscavige’s high-pressure plan to open up lavish new facilities.

Miscavige figures the public relations value of opening big new centers is worth the trouble, even if there isn’t growth in membership to justify it. So the remaining church members have to work like crazy to raise money in huge quantities from people already worn down from years of fundraising. How? By getting creative.

We’ve already marveled at the bowling gals, the doorknob sales, and the stand-up comedy approach. But how is the building itself coming along?

Recently one of our loyal readers stopped by the location of the new Valley Ideal Org to grab some snapshots for us.

The building sits just off the intersection of Lankershim Boulevard, Tujunga Avenue, and Burbank Boulevard in North Hollywood…

 
ValleyOrgIntersection

 
Here’s the view on Burbank Boulevard, showing what a large but rather nondescript building this is…

 
ValleyOrgBurbank

 
And let’s get tight on one of those windows, where you can see the spirit that’s going into this building’s renovation. Rah!

 
ValleyOrgWindow

 
Hey, at least the door looks like it’s nearing completion. Who paid to sponsor those door handles? Did they get a certificate?

 
ValleyOrgDoors

 
We want to thank our tipster for taking the time to give us that update. And we hope to learn about more wacky fundraisers by those crazy kids in the Valley as they try to get their building finished.

In the meantime, you have to wonder what all this focus on big new buildings is doing to the rest of the Scientology landscape. There’s evidence that in the Los Angeles area, the push for Ideal Orgs is decimating the local mission network.

Used to be, a thriving group of missions would be the front line in Scientology’s dissemination campaign. Missions were small and very active, and they existed to bring in new members of the public to begin their church indoctrination before being sent to the larger “orgs” later on. But are the missions today being sacrificed for the Ideal Org push?

That’s the sense we get from the reporting of Angry Gay Pope, who told us that the Beverly Hills Mission is the latest SoCal mission to go belly up.

 
BHMission1

BHMission2

 
And here was AGP’s account at his website:

The place has gone under just as I predicted. As of two years ago they didn’t even have a web page. What organization doesn’t have a web page? One year ago vandals kept defacing their sign and it looked miserable. Like almost all Scientology Missions the place was on life support. But even though it failed the mother church still makes money off of it through their licensing deals. Scientologists are instructed to take their business to the Sherman Oaks Mission at 13517 Ventura Boulevard (818) 995-3460. Their answering machine calls the mission the “Mission of Sherman Oaks and Beverly Hills.” How it can be the Beverly Hills Mission while not being in Beverly Hills is a mystery only Dianetics can explain. In review: Santa Monica Mission failed, Melrose Mission failed, Beverly Hills Mission failed.

Yowch.

With so many LA-area missions drying up, we’d have to say that’s some of the best evidence yet that Miscavige’s Ideal Org program is a desperation move that may only be hastening Scientology’s demise. But hey, he’ll have all those spiffy big buildings in place of actual followers!

 
——————–

Marc Headley Weighs in on Will Smith’s After Earth

Yesterday, we discussed Will Smith’s new movie and how critics — who generally detested the film — kept making references to Scientology in their reviews. New York magazine had an interesting piece comparing ideas in the movie to Scientology concepts, but at Gawker, Carnegie Mellon University professor David Touretzky poo-pooed the idea of a connection.

But now Marc Headley, writing for The Hollywood Reporter, has come down solidly in the “yes, it’s Scientology” camp.

Headley points to specific lines of dialogue, imagery in the film, and Smith’s acting to build a case that After Earth is very much Scientology-flavored.

Headley gives it “Two Xenu thumbs down.”

 
——————–

Tiziano Lugli Now Starring as Tom Cruise at the Huffington Post

Yes, it’s happened again. Just a week after TMZ filmed ex-Scientologist music producer Tiziano Lugli leaving the Chateau Marmont with his wife Jamie on their Ducati motorcycle and pronounced it Tom Cruise and his “rebound chick,” now the Huffington Post has done the same thing after the Luglis decided to go out for another bite to eat.

Actually, we can’t tell if this was a new sighting or if HuffPo is just recycling an old story. The story makes reference to Cruise/Lugli wearing a leather jacket in the new sighting as opposed to a “velvet jacket” from the previous time, but that sure doesn’t look like a leather jacket in the photo they posted.

We can’t believe we just wrote that sentence. We really don’t care! It’s Tiziano, not Tom Cruise, you celebrity reporter jackasses!

 
——————–

Posted by Tony Ortega on June 1, 2013 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

If you’d like to help support The Underground Bunker, please e-mail our webmaster Scott Pilutik at BunkerFund@tonyortega.org

 

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  • Sidney18511

    I just love love love the word shenanigans. i completely lost control of myself and had to let you all know that.

  • Ian

    Erm, you know that fancy scientology sign on your fancy wooden door? Its off center and not quite level. Its the details that make it…

    • BuryTheNuts2

      And it is bugging me!

      It looks terrible.

      • Spackle Motion

        He had a majorly fucked up malocclusion and he had braces several years ago. It looks like his number 5 was removed (first molar on upper arch on the right) was extracted to make room to shift his teeth with orthodontia. I don’t understand why everyone harps on the guy for this….not that I’m wanting to give him any breaks for anything, but he had bad teeth due to genetics. It’s quite common.

        • Captain Howdy

          “but he had bad teeth due to genetics”
          Yes indeed. Poor kid.

          • Spackle Motion

            His daughter looks like she inherited that schnaaz. I see some serious interceptive ortho coming if Suri’s teeth start to look like that.

          • FistOfXenu

            That tooth looks like a door. Behind it he has a special hollow tube. He just has to take aim and fire and it shoots out of his face and buries itself in your neck and siphons out your blood. Then it just snaps back into place and the tooth goe back into place like an electric garage door.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          I was talking about the sign on the morgue.

        • Observer

          It’s a physical manifestation of the lies of Scientology. If he’s an OT MEST master he should be able to postulate his teeth into the correct position.

          The fact that he can’t do such a small thing, even with orthodontic assistance, is concrete proof that his “religion” is nothing but a con. And the fact that he heavily supports the lie of Scientology while engaging in such theta actions as poisoning his older children against their non-Scn mother makes him a fair target, IMO. If he were to come to his senses and blow you’d never hear another peep about it from me.

          • Exterrier

            I get it. It’s like Pinnochio. Every time they lie, his tooth moves a little to the center. Well, it is not exactly water to wine, or the resurrection of Lazarus, but in Scientology that might just qualify as an OT phenomena. No wonder he sits at the right hand of dwarfenfeurer!

        • richelieu jr

          Plus isn’t he supposed to be one of the genetically superior ‘big beings”?

          If he can call me a ‘wog’ and spend his money to supress gay rights, etc, then I can make fun of his dentition.

      • FistOfXenu

        It looks CHEAP!

        • Observer

          There you are!

    • May_West

      It is in homage to Tom Cruise’s front teeth.

      • Vistaril

        Heh!

        • George Layton

          There was a crooked man, who had a crooked smile.

      • Observer

        I bet Tom’s center tooth is burning!

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      How could they not get this sign centered properly? There is a clearly marked center point where all the lines converge just above the frame.

      Or… there’s some mysterious, occult purpose for the way it’s mounted. Yeah, that’s it.

      • Observer

        It’s that superior LRH tech which we degraded, inferior wogs just can’t comprehend.

        • FistOfXenu

          It lines up perfect with the real center which only OTs can see.

    • V4Vacation

      This whole building is a mess in progress. The flimsy printed coat of arms above the wooden door as well as the sporty poster — these are the only visible additions in the last year. The large red and white sign on the outside of the building above the archway — that is a sign for “The Center @ North Hollywood”, the former (bizarrely-named) Christian church that has been closed since maybe 2008? Apparently they can’t afford to hire someone to remove it or do it themselves yet. And the tall pillar near the palm tree still has the simple wooden Christian cross in it. I’m curious if that will get changed to the fancy (Aleister Crowley / Rose Croix) Scilon cross after the big Inglewood fundraiser tonight.

      • ParticleMom

        I was wondering what that sign was, it looks like a giant can of coke.

  • BosonStark

    Congratulations to Tiz and Jamie on their new careers as Cruise/girlfriend impersonators. Jamie should stage a big fight in front of the Celebrity Center where she hops off the motorcycle and says:

    “No, I will not get my teeth filed down and I’m sick of you and your crazy Scientology!”

    • Victoria Pandora

      and that doesnt look a thing like tom cruise. tiziano has much finer features, and looks 30 years younger than tc. although maybe someday he can star in the movie tom produces about how he was scammed by a cult, lol.

      • FistOfXenu

        something to look forward to isn’t it?

    • aquaclara

      Verrrry late to the Bunker, but loved this. And look-55 up votes for this very funny comment! Woooheeee.

  • pronoia

    And congrats are due to Marc Headley for a clear and succinct description of scientology beliefs and practices at the Hollywood Reporter! I noticed that he managed without once resorting to the use of scientologese.

  • Truthiwant

    In times of down statistics, the Church always fight back and here is the new Hubbard mark VIII
    eco E-meter.

    Scientologists for years now have been feeling the pinch, particularly after having donated all
    their money to the Ideal Org Projects around the world. So RTC, as always ready to listen to their parishioner’s needs, have used cutting edge technology, based on the best parking meters around, to produce this completely new concept of E-meter.

    No more six hour sessions any more as the mark VIII eco E-meter automatically brings a session
    to an end when your money has run out. Yes, you can now buy an auditing session for just 15 minutes!

    Not enough? Well just top it up for another 15 minutes.

    Have a quickie! Get rid of a few excess Body Thetans!

    Feeling a bit down and out? No problem! Just pump those coins in and have half an hour
    of relaxing counseling!

    Feeling flush? Well then, go for the full two hours of mind warping Hubbard auditing!

    Don’t waste any more time on long drawn-out sessions! Buy the new Hubbard mark VIII eco
    E-meter!

    It’s the pay-as-you-go eco -friendly way of auditing in the 21st century!

    Limited offer until midnight for just $4627!

    • sugarplumfairy

      Lol.. I love it.. Hey, if you can talk to an ash tray…..

      • Truthiwant

        You can now audit yourself while parking your car!

        • FistOfXenu

          Or while you take a pipe cutter to the e-meter stand.
          “what we have here is a failure to communicate”

          • Truthiwant

            It is a suppressive act to vandalize the new eco E-meter.

            • FistOfXenu

              It’s a suppressive act to visit with your daughter after your Dave-order escapes your clutches and ambush divorces you and makes you and your cult and your dwarfenfuhrer look look dickless in every newspaper in the world too.

              It’s a suppressive act to be the Demented Midget.

              Let me know when TC and DM get their declares.
              😉

      • richelieu jr

        I imagine all those no-smoking offices nowadays must be really difficult for $cientologists who have to sit around with no one to talk to…

        • sugarplumfairy

          You mean no thing to talk to..

          • richelieu jr

            Oops; Hard to remember when they’re so damn charming…
            And so easy to order around!— Ashtray, get me a beer!

        • grundoon

          But smoking is a sacrament in Scientology! It runs out cancer BTs.

          • ParticleMom

            Maybe they can apply for a religious exemption from the no smoking laws.

      • John Andra

        Not as many ash trays as there are far fewer smokers nowadays. So the training lineup will need to be revised again.

        • sugarplumfairy

          Hookah pipes look like much better conversationalists than ashtrays..

    • L. Wrong Hubturd

      Oh, efficient auditing AND finding that OT only, perfect parking spot! Now they’ll have more time to help at accidents.

    • richelieu jr

      “Coins’? Even 15 minutes of auditing would be enough change to make your pants fall off down to the centre of the Earth…

      …Thus liberating Xenu and enslaving us all! Those bastards! They’re brilliant!

      • Truthiwant

        I guess the updated version will have a credit card slot!

    • Exterrier

      Hey, Truth. What about installing these in traveller’s motels, instead of Magic Fingers coin bed vibrators….and you can toss that Gideon’s bible as well.
      Can you see the sign out front…. Color Cable TV, and EMeters in every room! Might work at the Ft. Harrison anyway.

      • Truthiwant

        Fantastic idea!!

  • Real Shellback

    The Ideal Org thing is a lovely scam – if I understand how it works.

    Local money is raised to buy and renovate building. Building is then given to RTC which licences it for use by local people as an “Ideal Org” ™, and leases the building to local people. So basically the local schmucks BUY a building for RTC which then rents it back to them with some hefty fees and high sales targets.

    It’s good to be RTC!

    I guess if you believe that all of your problems are the result of alien space cooties, believing that RTC and COB are not going to shaft you is not to big a stretch.

    • Victoria Pandora

      I wonder how this property tax situation is going to play out? many of the orgs owe $100,000 and more in back taxes. surely daveys lawyers have not figured out how to screw the tax man? oh wait…

      • Real Shellback

        I would imagine the local members would be assessed for property taxes. Oh; and when the idle morgue fails, RTC can go ahead and sell an improved building that was given to them in the first place. It’s so beautiful! It brings tears to my eyes.

        • VickiStubing

          I wonder if Gwen in Portland has figured out who REALLY owns the Idle mOrg.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            But she does! She said so!

            • sister wendy

              yes- but even though she looked emphatic about it, didn’t she also at the same time seem a bit puzzled and confused? She did to me. She was confused that Mark brought it up- like she wasn’t expecting this type of comment at all. And I bet when she went away, she just shook her head internally saying something like “Those SPs! They’ll make up anything! What nonsense are they spewing now!” I think we’ve been simplifying the gravy train details because we’ve been reading and looking at the scam for months. I think to her it really sounded like nonsense….

            • BuryTheNuts2

              hehe…I forgot my sarcasm font….

            • aquaclara

              Nice new “you,” Bury!

            • FistOfXenu

              Good thing you reminded us BTN. For a minute there we were all talking like sometimes Scienos lie or something.

        • Victoria Pandora

          Yes, I feel a little like crying too;/

    • richelieu jr

      Not to mention that they raise several times the cost of some of thee buildings which never seem to get finished in spite of the all the ‘final push’ regging going on… It’s a license to print money for Miscavige and with Narconon drying up, I don’t expect them to stop popping up like so many pimples on the face of the world…

    • Lady Squash

      The above is correct but it is even worse than that. The local orgs don’t know that that is the plan. In a million years they would never believe that RTC would be so wicked.

    • Exterrier

      Makes me want to start my own religion. Maybe we at the Bunker could pool our resources and do that……or pool other peoples resources, like DM.

      • Real Shellback

        Hubbard felt as you do. He was able to do it as a second tier Science Fiction writer. Many fiction authors have come close to doing the same thing. But it’s a violation of trust, kind of like when a professional magician stops telling his audience that the tricks are just tricks, that the cold readings are just cold readings and not paranormal activity.

        Hubbard violated the trust of his audience and his community of Science Fiction authors do not hold him in high esteem fr doing so.

        DM on the other hand is just an enlightened asshole who was able to capitalize on the gullibility of Hubbard’s followers.

  • Sunny Sands

    Looking at the pic of the Valley Ideal Org, I wondered where the people are supposed to park. Having enough parking will a lot of times make or break any church. People don’t want to park blocks away and have to walk.

    • Semper Phi

      Especially if you have to go to Ethics if you’re the slightest bit late for course.

    • N. Graham

      There will be a bus, and as the number of $cientologists goes down, so will the size of the shuttle buses. Soon, seeing a “short bus” will have a different meaning.

    • V4Vacation

      There is a parking lot behind the building, enclosed by chain link fence, which you access by driving down the alley behind the gas station.

  • Pepsicat

    Best line in Headley’s review: “…the movie involves following Jaden Smith’s character as he faces off against apes, a large, angry bird and a leech, (none of which have much to do with Scientology — besides maybe the leech)

  • And I don’t rent cars!

    Tony wrote:
    “We can’t believe we just wrote that sentence. We really don’t care! It’s Tiziano, not Tom Cruise, you celebrity reporter jackasses!”

    And I can’t believe I laughed so hard before having my first morning coffee. Don’t worry, you are still safe. Start
    worrying once you write who designed that velvet and leather jacket!

  • Vistaril

    . . . In the meantime, you have to wonder what all this focus on big new
    buildings is doing to the rest of the Scientology landscape. There’s
    evidence that in the Los Angeles area, the push for Ideal Orgs is
    decimating the local mission network . . .

    What evidence is that, specifically? While the relentless fund raising for Ideal Orgs is no doubt having some impact within Scientology, I wonder if you are perhaps underestimated your own activities, and the efforts of many others to dry up the flow of raw meat into the L Ron Hubbard mind-fuck. The MSM, surprisingly, stepped up its game significantly and has been doling out a sustained and delicious menu of glorious entheta, most ably assisted by TomKat and Rupert Murdoch’s declaration of open season on the cult. Anonymous and its allies have pretty much reduced Scientology’s promotional internet footprint to that of an ant, and your blog has become something of the go-to venue for new information and informed dialogue. In short, the Missions’ primary role of recruitment has been, IMHO, countermanded, not by the Ideal Org fundraising but via the widespread and on-going delivery of the truth concerning Scientoloy. Long may it continue and all hail Xenu.

    • Skwerl King

      Hail Xenu!

      • FistOfXenu

        Thanks, Skwerl King. 🙂

    • June Lake

      Why, thank you verrrry much

    • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

      Sorry … I don’t do weather requests.

      • Vistaril

        Deepest apologies, my Lord. My sin is unforgivable. Mercy, I beseech, and understanding I beg thee grant my worthless being. I was but momentarily aberrated by a vexatious Body Thetan which cast a Demon Circuit and it was while in this fleeting state of overt beingness that I was restimulated to such an extent I attempted to mock up a metaphor. Your gracious and wise response has brought me back to present time with the recovered purpose to forever bear in mind that those of us who seek through your wisdom to earn your magnificent SP ability to be literal. I cannot every repay you for this and offer instead a reiteration of my loyalty for the next billion years.

        • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

          Um … I’m not David Miscarriageofjustice …

          We’re cool …

          Just didn’t want you to think I’d be sending a massive hailstorm today …

          The central US weather-net has been freaking out and, sadly, causing all sorts of problems. My sincere apologies to Oklahoma and I hope folks are supporting residents by way of the great country thetan Blake Shelton’s fundraising efforts.

          Again my apologies …

          • richelieu jr
            • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

              No … I was in the outer Bangur system (8th star to right as viewed from the top of the Antarctic pyramid of the Maztecs) in 850 AD attending a conference for recovering evil over-lords (total waste of a month screaming at ashtrays while running in circles in a pool of oil).

              I’ve checked royal archives and can only find vague references to a cousin who had issues with bad curry around that time. I wouldn’t put it past him to pull this kind of stunt.

            • Captain Howdy

              Cool. Have you ever seen the Sedlec Ossuary? It’s amazing and I wish I could live there.

            • richelieu jr

              Well, I’ve seen pictuers, Cap’n. Very cool.. I’ve been tot he secret catacombes here though,and the catacombes of Rome and– MOst especially, those in Sicilia.. Amazing!

  • dwayners13

    I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again, Miscavige is operating on (what I call) the “Field of Dreams Premise” which states, “if you build it, they will come”. Unfortunately for Miscavige, it’s had the opposite effect. Perhaps it’s because the concept was ‘off source’, not to mention absolutely ridiculous, inane, incredible stupid, short sighted, made no sense, a waste of time & money, bound to fail, entheta, ill-advised, unpractical, idiotic, moronic, foolish, nonsensical, misguided, illogical, laughable & ludicrous. Actually, now that I think about it, it’s most likely ‘on source’ & completely compatible with Miscavige/Scientology logic. Besides, parishioners in the eastern states will be told the western ideal orgs are packed & those in the western states will hear how up-stat the eastern orgs are and on & on the delusions will go. (And any photos that show empty/barren ideal orgs/mission with be deemed to be ‘photo shopped entheta’, most like done by psychiatrist, pharmaceutical companies &/or the terrorist group known as ‘anonymous’.

    • Spackle Motion

      One big failing in the “Field of Dreams” premise – even Kevin Costner’s character almost lost his farm when he spent all of his money ‘building it’. One has to literally (or figuratively) bet one’s farm to “build it” and basic statistics say that some people will always lose.

      • richelieu jr

        You clearly need to revise Hubbard’s book on statistics.

        • Spackle Motion

          Yes….”what’s true for you is true for you” is such complete horseshit. Putting that in a so-called “scientific” context is typical Scientology double-speak. I’d love to see the face of a real statistician when you say that statistics, as a body of work, doesn’t matter because it isn’t true for me.

    • sister wendy

      I think you are so correct. I also think that he’s waiting for the entire project to be done before he “judges” it as a successful venture. In other words, he’s not going to weigh in and will continue declaring people who disagree, until the entire project is “finished” and the last Ideal org is up and running. Because that’s when people will stampede in and join! I think that’s part of the formula for this project. He thinks all the naysayers are jumping the gun- because the project REQUIRES that all the buildings are done before the masses start flowing in to the lovely up-tone buildings. I think that is one of the reasons why he keeps going. He thinks it will turn around and that it’s too early to call. Somehow all the Big Beautiful Orgs will create a critical mass magnet and pull people in.

      • sister wendy

        What a shitty leader

  • 10oriocookies

    With all these buildings there is always the promise of we WILL be able to deliver “this many hours” or make “this many” clears or OT’s. Never happens. Photographic proof does not even get through to the faithful. “We are consolodating, that’s why the org is empty.” Enough is never enough with these cats.

    • ze moo

      Isn’t ‘consolidating’ another word for ‘contracting”?

    • Observer

      And yet the faithful gobble up the badly done shoops and manipulated photos of Scn’s official events.

  • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

    Sorry if I’m late in making this connection … but Ideal Orgs sound a lot like mega-churches common in some Christian denominations (or ones that call themselves non-denominational).

    If that’s true … I can foresee the future of these behemoths (without it necessarily resulting in the total implosion of the faith):

    * After a period of time it will be determined that a large, centralized “come to us” model doesn’t work
    * Those who have survived the reg/fundraising with their faith intact will pine for the good old days of smaller gathering places and -really- knowing other believers and newly interested ones
    * They will identify reasonably sized facilities closer to the people receiving services that can be maintained based solely on “religious” donations received
    * They will sell the larger building, which will be converted into an Ideal Walmart Super Center, splitting the proceeds between all the smaller facilities
    * They will maintain their theta connections through bowling and comedy fundraisers to send LRH materials to opinion leaders in Botswana and Katmandu
    * They will thrive, grow and clear the valley (by continuing to charge stupid people who will stupidly play them stupid amounts of money)

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      The building itself was one of those mega-churches, “The Center.” I think they moved to Granada Hills.

    • sister wendy

      exactly! Unless DM is actually plotting to actually destroy CorpSci, in which case, he is right on target;)

  • ze moo

    The Valley Ideal Org looks like an Aldi’s ……or a Big Lots….

    • Spackle Motion

      EVERYTHING in the Valley looks like that. It’s one of the many reasons why I love to hate it there.

  • John P.

    Angry Gay Pope says:

    How it can be the Beverly Hills Mission while not being in Beverly Hills is a mystery only Dianetics can explain.

    No, it is a mystery that real estate agents can also explain quite easily: The Sherman Oaks/Beverly Hills mission is what they call “Beverly Hills adjacent.” That presumably means “within 10 miles of the city limits.” By that token, the Inglewood Ideal Org is also Beverly Hills adjacent. But the Scientologists have an easier time than the real estate people, since they can simply go exterior to get to the newly relocated Beverly hills mission rather than having to fight actual traffic over Beverly Glen or Coldwater Canyon.

    • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

      Is this similar to hotels/resorts in Orlando claiming to be 3 minutes from Disney meaning they three minutes from some part of the 47 square mile property even though they are 65 minutes from an actual park entrance?

      • Leslie Stipe

        My brain just went to “what’s worse” Disney World or Scientology for a weekend? And I know what the answer should be. I’m just sayin’…

    • Roger Larsson

      A Cult
      unable to deliver what it promises to deliver is in trade with its own
      fantasies and not with the real world.

      • sugarplumfairy

        Yes!

        • Roger Larsson

          Buyers have
          always RIGHT. A buyer not getting what a Cult deliver has the right to make reclamation.

    • Spackle Motion

      Having once lived within 5 minutes of the Tujunga/Burbank/Lankershim intersection and having to drive to Beverly Hills most mornings, I can say that the word “adjacent” is complete bullshit. It would take me over an hour to go less than 10 miles.

      Most real estate advertising around here only uses the word “adjacent” when the location is actually right next to the area being described. I’ve seen Van Nuys listed as Sherman Oaks ‘adjacent’, but you’ll usually NEVER see Sherman Oaks listed as “Beverly Hills Adjacent” because there’s a mountain range dividing the two.

      You’d probably get sued around here if you started advertising like that because the route to/from Beverly Hills to Sherman Oaks sucks major ass.

    • Observer

      And if they want to drive, they can always postulate themselves a convenient parking spot.

      • FistOfXenu

        On their laughable salaries they’ll have to postulate cars 1st.

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      The higher level OTs should start putting their awesome powers to the task of extending the Beverly Hills zip code. It’s been done by lesser mortals…

    • grundoon

      Hoboken is Park Avenue Adjacent! A stroke of marketing genius.

      • John P.

        My personal favorite: Bayonne is now being marketed as “Jersey City adjacent.” Year ago when Jersey City was first starting to gentrify, and before I reached my current level at Global Capitalism HQ, I looked at a waterfront high-rise in Jersey City. Then the agent wanted to show me a new waterfront building about to start construction that was “Jersey City adjacent.” It was waterfront indeed, on Newark Bay with a great view of the docks in Elizabeth and the Newark airport. Fortunately, a promotion soon followed and I am able to cling to the traditional definition of “Park Avenue Adjacent” basically meaning buildings on cross streets between Lexington and Madison.

        • aquaclara

          Hehehe, here I thought my old Lexington Ave co-op was merely subway-adjacent…

  • Noah Miller

    So, what are the chances that the Beverly Hills Mission is still paying it’s fees even though it now exists in the same place as Sherman Oaks? And how long until all orgs, missions etc are all in one building with the longest answering machine message ever recorded?

  • Oyster Bay

    Those Valley Girls continue to exude tackiness. Who makes their “Chuch Coming Soon” sign using a high school sports font? Just plain gauche.

    • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

      The same folks who put the sign behind dark tinted windows.

      Readers of the Hubbard College Press series on Public Relations.

  • BosonStark

    Good one-stop Org location but that top shot is one angle they won’t be featuring in any ads. Get gassed up in the back, have your car washed and detailed at the place in front, and have your brain washed at the new Org. Is there a pawn shop nearby?

    • Observer

      At those gas prices I hope they realize they need to fill up before going into the Org. They won’t have gas money left once they leave.

    • grundoon

      In between the xxx video stores.

  • Sokramor

    Some of the comments at Hollywood Reporter are seriously… scary.

    • Phil McKraken

      Yeah. Reads like comments on Stormfront or something.

    • Xenu, Lord of Kobol

      Holy crap-balls is some of the content off-topic and horrid.

      Is the whole racism thing real or an attempt to get THR to shut down commenting?

      • 1subgenius

        Or be able to claim that all critics of the movie are just racist.
        Watch for Will to make such an allusion when/if he gets asked about the bad reviews.
        O hai OSA.

      • Observer

        I vote for the latter.

      • richelieu jr

        Maybe, but there was just that brouhaha over the Cheerios ad and the racist backlash…

    • Spackle Motion

      The Bunker is the only place where the comments are smart, informative, witty, and worthwhile. Almost every other news-oriented site (except Gawker) has mentally challenged trolls manning those boards.

      Gawker used to be great because one had to be a selected commenter (I was one of the chosen few many years ago). But they are constantly changing their commenting model so now it isn’t so great, but still better than most.

      • richelieu jr

        We’ve got a great group on The AVClub.. Intelligent, funny, heteroclite and well-informed…

        • Captain Howdy

          Cardinal, why are you making me word clear (heteroclite) when I have a vicious suboxone/klonopin/vodka hang over? You are an evil Richelieu!

          • stateofcircle

            Shit, I wanna party with you, Captain!

            • Captain Howdy

              Shit I’m paying for it today. This is the worst, weirdest HO I’ve has in a long time and I know it’s from the suboxone. It’s strange shit to be avoided as far as a party favor.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            Ouch, just hearing that gave me a sympathy hangover.

          • richelieu jr

            Oops.. I thought it was a common word.. Probably one of those that is the same in both languages but not really use din one of them.. Do you have another word?

            • sister wendy

              I love that word- but it makes me think of female body parts…and then I have no interest in word clearing;)

            • richelieu jr

              Go on….

            • sister wendy

              😉

      • grundoon

        If you’re of a leftish persuasion, try http://www.dailykos.com

    • Imelda Marcos

      I’m astounded by the overt racism, and apparently comments are MODERATED. Mine is awaiting moderation, anyhow. So, those comments have been approved by someone over there. 🙁

  • Victoria Pandora

    well it looks as if OSA has dished out some “tech” over on the hollywood reporters comments section.
    there are over 350 comments and of the ones i scanned, there is just a big race war going on. not a word about scientology. HR must be flummoxed by this. i mean, i assume their usual reading audience aren’t a bunch of racists. evidently they had to cleanse the comments yesterday, and they might have to again today. maybe OSA thinks too many of the flock read that particular rag?

    • richelieu jr

      Highly possible. For all its fault THR is still on every bedside table in town…

    • FistOfXenu

      They’re not hesitating to put ethics in ruthlessly on Hollywood.
      $cientology Ethics: if you can’t stop people telling the truth and exercising freedom of speech about $cientology just introvert them or change the subject and if that doesn’t work send in agent provacateurs until you create chaos.
      Yup. Most ethical on the planet.

    • sister wendy

      pretty amazing, isn’t it? I noticed that too….

  • ze moo

    There seem to two fairly common reviews for ‘After Earth’. One focuses on Shyamalan’s non-involvement in the pr circuit to sell ‘After Earth’ and they wonder why.

    http://www.timesunion.com/business/article/Shyamalan-not-in-orbit-of-After-Earth-marketing-4565156.php

    The second type of review revels in pointing out the scientology connections. My favorite line…..

    “So it’s really a Lassie movie with Will Smith playing Timmy and his son
    Jaden playing Lassie, who has to fetch help from a long way away and
    come back to Dad through all sorts of evil critters determined to devour
    him.”

    http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130531/LIFE/130609951/1031

    No one considers ‘After Earth’ a cinematic milestone, most say more of a millstone…..

  • N. Graham

    I think that Wee Davey’s strategy becomes clearer as more $cientologists leave and more Ideal Orgs open: dwindle the membership and raise the Ideal Org count until it gets to the point where every member has his own Ideal Org.

    • Except that the Ideal Org won’t exactly be the member’s “own”…

      • richelieu jr

        Well, an ideal world would be without $cientologists, so why shouldn’t an Ideal Org represent that?

        Works for me.

  • L. Wrong Hubturd

    Willow Smith with the Shyamalanadingdong family a year ago. Could he be getting sucked into the cult too? Hope not.

    http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/night-shyamalan-and-wife-bhavna-vaswani-saleka-shyamalan-news-photo/142568955

    • Captain Howdy

      I would be more concerned about Guillermo del Toro.getting sucked into the the cult than M Knight. He’s constantly hanging around with Gaiman and Cruise. And del Toro becoming a scilon would be a bigger loss to the film world than Shyamalan, imo. Del Toro hasn’t directed a movie in 5 years. I know he’s got stuff in the pipline, but it all looks like crap to me.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        Del Toro as a Scientologist is kind of delicious. He could stay just long enough to gather material for a really eerie movie…

      • richelieu jr

        Pacific Rim will be HUGE. I am already seeing big vibrations through the publicity pipeline,a nd I have a film we are holding back because of it..

        And i didn’t know that about Del Toro and it breaks my heart (he is primed to believe in big, ridiculous Cthuluesque gos though,so why not?) Gaiman I can see, but TC? Do you have any links?

        • Captain Howdy

          Del Toro and Cruise were going to do a version of Lovecraft’s “At the Mountains of Madness” that thankfully got scuttled, and he also produced the horrible remake of the classic TV movie “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark” starring Katie Holmes.

      • The Dakini

        Del Toro has been very busy. Pacific Rim has pretty much taken over his schedule for the past four years. He has been able to fit in some producing and writing in as well. And I agree with RJ, it will be a big mega release for the summer. GDT and the studio have been pitching this film to the public for the past two years.

        As for him as a Scilon, I highly doubt it. First he has a natural curiousity if the strange and anything counter culture. Gaiman friendship makes sense since they stem from the same fan base and creative mindsets. I can see him being around TC because GDT is a highly respected, creative innovator in the industry. TC would be an idiot for not wanting to be around that. But the biggest reason I don’t see a recruitment occurring…

        Del Toro’s wife. She is highly protective of him and affiliations. Strong willed, smart, Spanish woman who doesn’t take shit and can smell it sugar coated 50 miles away. DM will have to get past her, to get to him. And he doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell.

        • Captain Howdy

          Thanks, that’s reassuring.

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      That would certainly explain his career trajectory.

    • L. Wrong Hubturd

      Oooohweeee, 5 downers. That’s some kind of record for me! Woohoo.

  • Captain Howdy

    After reading both reviews of “After Earth”, I’m going with Dave Touretzky’s estimation.

    I’m still not entirely convinced that Will & Jada are practicing scientologists. They may have dabbled in it, and during this time they donated some money to CofS causes, because that’s what rich Hollywood types do especially when they are trying to impress their rich friends like Tom Cruise. Will and Jada are no doubt “truth seeking” jack asses who see themselves as demi-gods, but that’s half the idiots in the Hollywood biz.

    • stateofcircle

      I know Scilons are capable of protecting information about celebrities, but the thing I do find odd about the whole Smith situation is that, besides their donations to that school and their support of the study tech (along with other types of learning methods) is really the only info out there about their relation to Scientology, right? I understand not going all Tom Cruise gung-ho about it, but wouldn’t there be SOME evidence out there, like some staff member (especially a blown one, of which there are many) confirming that a Smith family member had been to CCLA for auditing or something? Or at an event? Even something with CCHR or ABLE or one of the many front organizations? I would definitely think there woud be at least one blown staff member that would confirm something, or even a loose-lipped still-in…I know they’re great at keeping secrets, but it’s been years and I feel like someone would have said something. Plus, with DM’s and the church in general’s attitude toward celebrities, I would think that they would at least try to leak some info about his involvement, because in their eyes, a celebrity like Will Smith would up their stock in public opinion. I’m not trying to argue or disprove anything, I am just not entirely convinced they’re so heavily involved that an entire movie would be so entrenched in Scientology…they’d have to be pretty hard core fr something like that methinks.

      • Captain Howdy

        Exactly. And I don’t see how D.M would let one of the biggest stars in the world be a secret scientologist. If D.M promised the Smiths they could be secret scilons, I don’t doubt he would find a way to blow their cover surreptitiously in order to make them go public.

        • sugarplumfairy

          I just up-arrowed to negate dm’s down arrow.. I assume it’s him.. Who else would bother?

          • Captain Howdy

            The only comments that got marked down are the one’s that disagreed with Marc’s assessment of ‘After Earth”.

        • richelieu jr

          All good points, however don’t forget how long TC was a secret, and then when he was away fromt he cult that was totally hushed up. If Smith wants it that way (he’s seen what’s happened to TC’s rep), and they want to keep him, they are certainly capable of keeping it under wraps.

          Also, according to that other blog everyone finds so suspicious, it’s a certain thing. I haven’t explored further though… It is interesting that WS seems to be following the path of rumoured Scientology participation that parallels his own rumoured homosexuality that both TC (falsely) and JT (very truly) followed…

          Plus there is the rumoured fight with Keenan… that should be verifiable…

          I’m voting $cilon, but I admit the evidence is sketchy and I could be wrong…

          • FistOfXenu

            It wouldn’t take much with that homosexuality threat. We know what a big deal they make out of a single confession of masturbating. All anybody’d have to do is admit they experimented once with homosexuality or had a thought about it. It happens sometimes even with hardcore heteros. But admit anything they consider homosexual in auditing and what happens? They go rummaging in your made up memories to find other instances so they get the 1st time. And then they write it down. And then it magically migrates to your Ethics folder. And that’s all she wrote.

            For Smith that could be really tricky. For 1 thing I think he’d turn out bi- not gay. But for the record I don’t think he’s either but I could be wrong. For another thing he’s old enough that he might still have a hard time admitting it if he was gay or bi-.

            I think he just doesn’t want to go public yet or doesn’t want to go public all at once. It could be a family thing or a career thing. But til he does we just have to keep guessing.

            • richelieu jr

              I imagine it’s a career thing, though the HWood rumour is that his wife is fed up because he’s being so open about it, even going on vacation with the guy instead of with his family. All of which should be taken with the big rain of salt that I do not know this man personally, nor his family, and people do enjoy talking trash about famous people to ‘bring them down’…
              To the extent it is even worth mentioning here, it is because these rumours do seem to stick to (once again, rumoured this time) $cilons…

            • FistOfXenu

              That’s making too much out of nothing. I went away with 1 or 2 buddies from Nam a few times over the years. All of us are plain heteros but the bonds you make in a place like that run deep. Not instead of our families, just time with very important friends. And who says he went instead of his family? With his dough I don’t think he has to make choices like that do you? Same as you I know people like slamming celebs and I don’t know what the guy is to Smith so I’ll wait on that.

              Good point about how rumors about clamaid drinkers and homosexuality are common. You think maybe it’s because auditing gets people to talk about their pre-puberty and puberty doubts before they realize what $cientarCONon intends to do with them? By the time they know they can’t trust the cult, it’s got all that ammo filed away. They maybe aren’t even gay (or bi-) but the cult can use it any way they like and that’s enough to stop some people.

              An example just occurred to me. Imagine some body that’s not gay, but once had a fantasy about his school buddy (Joe Shmoe) when they were both 13. Nothing happened but he confesses it to the auditor and OSA gets their copy of it. Is this guy gonna want his buddy to read the kind of lies the cult can create out of that? I don’t think so.

            • richelieu jr

              All of those sound possible to me, FoX, though they do presume that the ‘church’ s at the source of these rumours… One sign that may be true is that whoever spreads them comes from the POV that homosexuality is shameful and to be covered u, so naturally it will hurt the reputation of the person. That was probably true not so long ago, but c’mon– Calling some one gat today only bothers the person if they are 10 years old (if that) or some twisted closet case themselves (and apt for Scientology)…
              Perhaps its because JT is gay and set the trend so not people presume the only way any celeb would believe that tripe is if he’s playing grabass at the sweatlodge?
              I’ve gone on many trips even vacations with guy friends, and even on extended trips with gay friends, and of course it doesn’t make me gay and I don’t care if people think so anyway.. There was more to the SMith stuff, but I don’t really feel like going into detail because I am realizing more and more than merely trying to speak analytically about this shit results in me spreading the rumour even further on the Net, and true or not, I don’t really dig feeling like that.

        • FistOfXenu

          Will Smith’s all set to become DM’s new best bud and fellow Big Bean now that TC’s in danger of self destruction. He has to agree to 1 more process to qualify. He’s has to have his legs amputated just above the knee and get his feet grafted straight on the stumps so he doesn’t tower over DM.

          You heard it here 1st.

          • Captain Howdy

            Hah, I heard it in “The Legend of Hell House” first.

          • ze moo

            That’s another episode of South Park. Parker and Stone must be psychic or something…

            • FistOfXenu

              Really? Guess I don’t watch enough South Park. Never saw it. Links?

            • ze moo

              It’s the episode where Kyle gets a ‘negroectomy’ to be taller and able to play basketball. Kyles dad is transformed into a dolphin. I can’t find it on youtube.

            • FistOfXenu

              I’ll look for it. Thanks!

            • sister wendy

              I love those guys…isn’t that a great improbable storyline? First real laugh of the day- thanks….

      • Spackle Motion

        There is anecdotal information about it….including a post here at the bunker from Kevin Tighe (yesterday or the day before). He personally witnessed them receiving auditing at an LA location.

        • stateofcircle

          Thanks, Spackle!

  • Missionary Kid

    Off topic: Investigation Discovery has a Cult Trivia Quiz. http://investigation.discovery.com/cults/cult-trivia-quiz.htm Unfortunately, they don’t give sources for their information. It was fun.

  • stateofcircle

    A few years ago, and forgive me if I’m getting some stuff wrong here, wasn’t Claire Headley’s step-father (I think?) a higher-up at the Beverly Hills mission, and was able to produce solid income and stats by using his own method of getting people in – I think it had something to do with getting people from conventions for denitsts/chiro’s and other professionals and funnelling them to the BH mission – , and when word of his methods caught the attention of Miscavige, tiny twerp freaked out because this gentleman wasn’t using DM’s prescribed methods – setting up personality test tables – to get people in? And he was busted off post and declared I believe, and I’m almost positive he’s not in anymore. His argument, which I find totally valid, was that putting personality test tables out in Beverly Hills does not fit with that clientele. So even though he was producing solid numbers, he was an evil, counter-intention criminal for actually thinking outside the box and not using the ONLY method DM allows to get people in.

    So, even more solid proof that DM is running his church into the ground with his horrible management and even worse policies and treatment of people. If the above is correct, it is 100% DM’s fault that this once-successful mission has closed.

    • richelieu jr

      With a big ol’ heaping of help from LRH and his incredibly idiotic management techniques and organizational skills… Any system that doesn’t make room for innovation from lower levels like this is doomed to become archaic and fail (rf Soviet Union)…

  • Racnad

    Not only is the Beverly Hills Mission not in Beverly Hills, in the San Jose area there’s The Church of Scientology Stevens Creek. What does Stevens Creek refer too? It is a major boulevard on the opposite side of town, where in the 1970s a prosperous mission once operated before the operator was run out of town like Snowball the pig in Animal Farm (though he did invent the Orwellian concept of Subtle Internal Suppression).

  • AnonymousSP

    I love seeing so many missions dried up and gone. More on the way.

    • RMycroft

      Missions dry up and die all the time. CoS doesn’t care too much because they still make money selling mission packs. The question is are they dying off at a faster rate than normal?

  • Racnad

    I read Marc Headly’s column in the Hollywood Report, I’m still not seeing anything Scientology-specific in that I’ve read of “After Earth.” The ideas of facing one’s fears and being in present moment exist outside of Scientology and predate Scientology, especially in Eastern philosophies, which director M. Night Shyamalan may very well be familiar with. I think there’s still more Scientology parallels in the Star Wars movies if you look for them, not because George Lucas was ever a Scientologist, but because LRH and Lucas were influenced by some of the same Golden Age Sci-Fi and westernized versions of Eastern philosophy.

    • richelieu jr

      Possibly, however Shyamalan didn’t write it and if you think there s any other creative power other than Will Smith involved you are delusional.

    • sister wendy

      scientologists love all science fiction and will find any parallel with what they believe and what’s in a sci fi movie. They slathered at my org when the Matrix came out. Any forward thinking concepts about emotions, law of attraction, etc is always easy for them to latch onto. They feel their stuff is getting out in the world this way because they think LRH recreated the wheel of emotional control. Anytime something in this area of thought is expressed in a systematized way they really love it, because they are all about systems and organizing. It’s like they are on an OCD organizational treadmill. In After Earth that Volcano is a dead give away;) Along with WS being an asshole to his son;) That’s not very nice to say, is it? I fear I’m becoming an asshole on this blog….

      • Racnad

        Thanks Wendy, I was wondering what they thought of the Matrix 😉 But that’s just another example of anything in this culture that resembles an LRH idea they will assume that LRH’s ideas are getting out, when in fact these ideas have been floating around for a long time. If you were raised in Scientology or joined Scientology without being well read you might not have been acquainted with these ideas before and say “Look! This is based on Scientology!”, when in fact it is in what is sometimes called “New Age” which is based in 19th Century Spiritualism (which included Alistair Crowley – another influencer of LRH) and other philosophical threads (Greek, pagan and Eastern) which go back a long time. Scientology: What is positive is not unique and what is unique is not positive. Also, Lord of the Rings also climaxes at a volcano and that predates Scientology.

        • sister wendy

          Exactly! They love the Lord of the Rings too- although not as much as the sci-fi stuff. Maybe if Tom Cruise had been Bilbo;) Most of the philosophy in Scientology is not new, I don’t think (and I know I’m not the only one;) However,what LRH seemed to focus on and “sold” many of us on is that he (or his busy bees) were able to re-package the thoughts and practices into modern, short “doable” processes where you could really “use” these concepts more practically in life. This is what I was taught was “new”- not that he thought of an entirely new thing. And this “easy/fast” way to do things is a powerful promise. A single course for a few weeks is more appealing than a life in a monastery. I did come in with a background in philosophy, history and theology and my pre-work before course or auditing was often a nightmare. Courses were also frequently difficult as all questions usually meant you were supposed to discover and look up the MU, which is not a solution if you want to think out loud or toss around concepts. The examples in the books were too simplistic for me to apply easily to my life. So I ended up feeling that I must not be very “bright” since I couldn’t always make a direct connection. However, there were also thoughtful people (among the vast number of robots) that did understand and were willing to let much of the robot stuff slide. I’m pretty sure most of those people have now left.

  • Not sure I said it was “slam dunk” on the film being in Scientology’s camp. I just listed out the parts I thought were similar in nature. In terms of the eastern philosophies aspect, that is exactly why I picked the ones I did. Anyone picking these apart would be a great example for the Scilons that most of scientology is just other stuff repackaged. “Living in the moment”, “fear is a choice” and “This will be your creation”. There are a lot of reviews that went the extra mile with space ships looking like DC-8s and all sorts of stretches that could be interpreted a many number of ways.

    To be fair this whole review was so serious in nature that it was temporarily interrupted by a debate on whether Redvines or Twizzlers were better. I was happy the leech line was left in. That was my favorite part!

    In the end does anybody really care that much?

    The other factor that most people overlook is that when Scilons go and see a movie like this, THEY KNOW that Will Smith is disseminating scientology and that he is “using the tech”! They get all giddy and talk about it to no end. Whether it has any bearing on reality, they are SURE and they are so proud that they are clearing the planet through blockbuster movies etc.

    I think we can all see what’s in front of us. The idea is to get the scilons looking and thinking. The best part is when Will Smith comes out saying that he is absolutely positively NOT a scilon and the movie had nothing to do with scientology. That will make scientology ears everywhere perk up. Now all the sudden Will Smith is an SP and can’t come out to play. That’s all Will needs right now, a dinner with the Cruiser to fuel speculations!

    P.S. EVERYONE knows Twizzlers are better so no need for a debate.

    • richelieu jr

      He’s definitely engaging in ‘dog whistle politics’ for the rubes… Had it been a success, they’d never have stopped talking about it.. He’d be a hero where JT was a dog…

      And yet,the scuttle but I hear is that WS is playing on JT’s team near the position of ‘covert hostility’… (a position I totally support, BTW, just not playing it and then persecuting your fellow team members.)

    • 1subgenius

      The question is whether anyone will have the guts to ask him to his face.
      I got a feeling the interviews are going to be tightly controlled.

    • aquaclara

      Love the inside twist to the story. It will be hard for WS to remain quiet about his relationship with scinetology with this kind of publicity.

    • richelieu jr

      5 Redvine fans voting you down there, Marc… You might want to rethink your position.

  • aquaclara

    Too funny….HuffPo got your message, it seems. They updated their story. (Same link as above). Did not clarify the leather vs velvet controversy, however.

  • richelieu jr

    Wait– how do we know how many thumbs Xenu has exactly?

    Nice to know he’s busy in his eternal cage… reviewing films now that Ebert has dropped his once impressive shell…

    • FistOfXenu

      Talk to my hand…

  • richelieu jr

    “It’s Tiziano, not Tom Cruise, you celebrity reporter jackasses!”

    If Scientology has taught us one thing, Tony, it’s that Tom Cruise is in the eye of the beholder.

    • FistOfXenu

      He is small enough.

  • Observer

    If Scientology could clear the planet as effectively as they clear out their Ideal Orgs, we’d be in trouble.

    • sugarplumfairy

      You’re just getting tooooo good at this..

      • Captain Howdy

        Observer has developed into a multipurpose weapon.

        • Observer

          Thanks … I think …

          • Captain Howdy

            You can shoop, snark and get smart with the best of ’em

            • Observer

              Coming from you, I consider that high praise. Thank you.

            • MO Mom

              That wussy tape is going to break when the slide moves. Webcam might hit you in the face and the knife might fall on (or into) your foot.

              Sorry, hubby has turned me into a target shooter.

            • Captain Howdy

              It’s a joke.

            • MO Mom

              I am aware of that –

      • richelieu jr

        Vultures only hang around where they’ll be somebody to eat…

        Any way,they all work for the Registrar’s Office now…

        • Observer

          There are some starving staff members inside. That’s not funny because it’s too close to the truth.

          • sister wendy

            Think about it Down Arrow Lovers- when was the last time you saw a staff member treat their body like a temple instead of like a meat casing? Taking time with a meal, chewing every bite and giving thanks…Food and meal time is treated accordingly for staff- rushed and shitty and shitty food. Shame on you for not seeing that! Aren’t you supposed to be experts at obnosing? Observer knows- why don’t you?! oh- what the hell- I’m sure they are gone by now and don’t care…makes me so mad though….

        • richelieu jr

          FIVE DOWN VOTES!!
          I’ve never been so proud!!!

          • Missionary Kid

            You and I tied, but Capt. Howdy outdid us by one. Both of you are more deserving of any honors.

            • richelieu jr

              Yes, six votes is a great honour..
              But don’t down vote yourself! It doesn’t count, you know!
              It has to be done by an anonymous coward or it is just meaningless nonsense, and we all know it’s not that, right?

            • Missionary Kid

              Since this is a real ethical group, not one that just calls itself The Most Ethical bullshit, I didn’t even think of it until you mentioned it. I’m not worthy of being in the same category as you guys. I think it was just chance that I got that many.

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      And I see the sign is STILL in the window…

    • Observer

      Yay! Five down arrows! My shoop tech is super effective!

      • V4Vacation

        These down arrows might be from local valley SPs, because in a certain light, the “flora and fauna” that you’ve added to the photo kind of make North Hollywood look BETTER. ;p

      • FistOfXenu

        Flunk! No tumbleweeds. Start.

        • Observer

          I did look for background pics with tumbleweeds but didn’t find any suitable. Then I saw this one, and choirs of angels began singing …

          • FistOfXenu

            Fair enough. But who says they have to be in the photo you use? Couldn’t you pretend you work for Davey and shoop in some tumbleweeds?

            • Observer

              I could have, but it would have been difficult to make it look halfway decent, though I realize that if I *did* work for Davey that wouldn’t have been a consideration. Next time I shoop a Scn facility I’ll put one in just for you.

            • FistOfXenu

              You don’t want it to look halfway decent. Any thing that good and we’ll all know $cientarCONon didn’t do it.

            • Observer

              If they did a shoop of an org I doubt they’d put vultures in it. Unless they were Vulture Ministers.

            • FistOfXenu

              If you squint and look real close that vulture’s feathers are too yellow to be a coincidence. That’s bird style for yellow t-shirt.

        • L. Wrong Hubturd

          Careful, or Flunk will think you’re calling HIM a tumbleweed and get his ass all puckered up again.

      • aquaclara

        One of your best yet! Thanks!

      • FistOfXenu

        You’re right. We can’t have criminal exchange here. You deserve an hour on the oiliness table with the bunkerite of your choice.

    • Still_On_Your_Side

      This is brilliant! I wonder what the rest of Miscavige’s empire will look like then? After viewing your photo I am haunted by stanzas from “Ozymandias”: “look on my works, ye mighty, and despair. Nothing beside remains. Round the decay of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare.”

      • richelieu jr

        I wish a big stone foot would come down on the twisted little dwarf…

        • Missionary Kid

          Kinda like the ending to Bambi vs. Godzilla?
          DM is small enough to be Bambi, but he’s not cute.

          • richelieu jr

            Exactly!

    • Exterrier

      At least a reg stayed on, I see.

  • Snippy_X

    After Birth – the parody.

  • Yep it all works in

  • Richard Horgan of Fishbowl LA notes a critic who, uniquely, favored both After Earth and Battlefield Earth:

    http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlla/

    (time-stamp is Jun 1 at 8:30 AM if you follow this link later when the piece is somewhat buried). The “it doesn’t suck” review ironically is on a Village Voice-affiliated blog:

    http://www.toplessrobot.com/2013/05/fanboy_flick_pick_the_big_twist_is_that_after_eart.php

  • Captain Howdy

    Numbers are coming in for “After Earth”

    And they are not good.

    http://insidemovies.ew.com/2013/06/01/box-office-friday-fast-furious-after-earth/

    • FistOfXenu

      Well Captain, it’s 1 way to get a more accurate calculation of how many $cientologists are. With some good research and fancy arithmetic you’ll end up with how many tickets were sold. Once you have that number you can divide it by 10 (the minimum number of tickets each $cieno is required to buy) and presto, the number of cult members.

  • FistOfXenu

    What? I struggle through to get my Saturday Atack fix, and he’s not even here? Glad he was at the conference though. The interwebs report it brought enturbulation to the Copenhagen mOrg so that’s good and I’m glad he was part of that.

    Still this story is good. Nice to see governments aren’t the only guys that waste money on useless crap but tax poor people and give privileges and exemptions to the rich and influential.

    Yup. A stereotype. So shoot me. 🙂

  • Douglas D. Douglas

    Just realized what that banner in the window makes me think about: High School Musical. It’s not just the typeface, it’s the whole sensibility. So… chipper and phonily wholesome.

    • Observer

      I wouldn’t confess to that level of familiarity with High School Musical if I were you. Just sayin’.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        I do have kids of a certain age…

      • ze moo

        The South Park ‘high school musical’ was hilarious.

      • Captain Howdy

        Ha, Ha

  • FistOfXenu

    Headley gives it “Two Xenu thumbs down.”

    I would’ve used both hands to give it thumbs down but I was feeding a peach to my Peach. She even outranks downvoting this flea-bitten hyena of a movie.

  • ze moo

    The missions made too much money and Lroon wanted it all in the early 80’s. That is why Dave Miscavige got to be Lrooons henchman. Dave was good at forcing the mission holders to sign over their interest in their missions to central command (the rtc) and Lroon got more income.

    The missions used to funnel the new meat along the bridge and provide income for everyone. Auditors made money by getting the new clam addicted to auditing and they could be very effective at it and could make good money. The lower level copyright and dues paying ‘churches’ were eventually cut out and income was centralized in RTC owned and run Orgs. Auditors and local staff had to go to a higher level org or the Sea Arrgh or quit to eat. Without the ‘body routers’ of the missions and lower level ‘churches’ the cult starved itself of future income. They wrecked Lrooons original business plan, at Lrooons command. By focusing on getting ‘donations’ from current clams and mostly ignoring future clams they shrank the pool of available clams and pissed those loyal clams who got tired of being harassed for donations.

    Multi-level marketing scams work when the lowest level has hopes of moving up to the next level and can make some money at the lowest level. The lowest level of the current CO$ has no hopes of anything but a rice and beans diet, if they can get to a Idle Morg or the Sea Arrggghh. Without new meat the scam with a real estate fetish will slowly digest itself. Anorexia is slow way to die.

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      Same thing happens a lot in Hollywood. In the old days, the studios nurtured talent, developed bunch of different properties, and sent stuff through the pipeline. Then a bunch of “profit on;y” bean counters moved from the business office to the front office and everything became about leveraging existing properties to maximize company profits. The executives got obscene bonuses, the shareholders got handsome returns, and the pipelines dried up. No more properties to exploit. End game.

      (Unless you are Disney, in which case you just buy somebody else’s creative boutique and milk it for all it’s worth.)

      • Snippy_X

        The same model is used in education.

      • L. Wrong Hubturd

        Equally true for the music industry as well. No more artist development. You better be ready to go at the signing.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        FIVE down votes? Either the OSA has finally taken an interest in me, or there are vengeful Disney fans roaming the Bunker…

    • 1subgenius

      Thanks for that.
      The existence of a system of commissions in this so-called church cannot be over-emphasized.

  • stateofcircle

    Whoa, Downvote Nation is growing stronger! We’re getting 4 downvotes a post now! And who says Scientology is shrinking??

    • media_lush

      I see what you did there…. the undownvoteable statement.

      Dear down voter; you are now so deluded and beyond help that you genuinely believe down voting is the right thing to do…… So what is it, an up or a down?

      • stateofcircle

        The thing that gets me is that they have to sign up for a Disqus account on here to downvote since you can’t downvote unless you’re logged in. I know Disqus is used on other sites as well, but I’m sure they’re signing up through the Bunker, which in my estimation makes them a member of an SP group, thus then they are PTS to Scientology, therefore, because of their PTSness they are responsible for the failure of Scientology.

    • media_lush

      To all downvoters:

      Vote down if you’re a brainwashed cultie with no mind of your own.

      • FistOfXenu

        Hey look at those 5 people in the corner with their fingers in their ears and their eyes squeezed tight going la-la-la-la-la-la

  • Observer

    So soon?

    • BuryTheNuts2

      The entheta is almost unbearable isn’t it?

      Snicker

      • Observer

        It just means I get to have more fun with shooping! Yay!

        • sister wendy

          I love this. Do you take suggestions? Can you make a picture of them running up the side of a volcano and jumping in?

          • FistOfXenu

            Great idea.

          • Observer

            That would take awhile. I can work on it and save it for a special occasion.

            • sister wendy

              Waiting with baited breath;)

    • richelieu jr

      Only 3 down cotes! Ha! I got 5!!!

      5, I tell you!!!!

      C’mon $ciloons, ruin my day!

      • Observer

        My other one got 5. :p

        • richelieu jr

          Yes! Let”s wear their nubby little thumbs off, shall we?

  • Still_On_Your_Side

    If I had spent years of my life sweating blood to raise money for that mausoleum, probably emptying out my own savings for it as well, only to lose the local mission, I would be depressed and angry. Miscavige claims to be running the church as if it were a business, but he keeps missing every indicator that the business is tanking. This is probably because Miscavige isn’t modeling his business on western capitalism. Instead, he seems to be using Nazi economic-theory. That theory is parasitical. Destroy the “host” and move on to the next. The Nazis used human labor as capital, throwing bodies as slave labor into the factories, melting the gold teeth from the massacred, and seizing the property of Jews, enemies, and the conquered. Little food, long hours, and poor working conditions, killed the labor (“host”) quickly. The Nazis didn’t care because they had vast “stores” of slave labor to replace the dead. Instead of building infrastucture, the Nazis built huge monstrosities that were tributes to Hitler and the Third Reich. If the Nazis hadn’t been defeated, they would have had to expand their conquered territory in order to keep finding new “hosts” so the slave labor and property pools could be replenished.

    The Los Angeles’ Mission-hosts are being destroyed one by one. The parasitical church will keep devouring more missions and members. Tributes to Miscavige may be built, but what else are the hosts being sacrificed for? Where are the new members? Where is any focus on the Bridge? Miscavige has to know that there are only a limited number of hosts. Once the members, including the whales, are cannibalized how will the church be sustained? What is clear is that if the members don’t wake up soon and stop the parasitical destruction of their church and their lives, they won’t have much of either left.

    • Espiando

      DM is running the cult as a business. The Mafia always says that they’re simple, honest businessmen, don’t they?

      And the Third Reich were amateurs on this front compared to Stalin’s bunch. The Nazis were always capitalist. The Soviets dolled their slave labor in huge dollops of unsustainable, inhuman economic theory that would have made Marx take them to task for calling it “Marxist”. If you don’t know about the story behind, just to cite one example, the White Sea Canal, look it up. Collectivization killed more people than the concentration camps did. And as for monstrosities, have a gander at the drawings of the Palace of the Soviets that was intended to be built on the site of the Cathedral of Christ the Savior in Moscow. Albert Speer would have considered it ridiculous and tacky.

      Given the nature of Godwin’s, any comparison of the cult to the Nazis should be eschewed, especially when there’s the Stalinist comparison to be used. It fits so much better.

      • Still_On_Your_Side

        I think you are right that there is a lot of Stalin in Miscavige’s actions. It is incredible that we are questioning whether the head of the”world’s fastest growing” and “most ethical” religion is more like Stalin or Hitler. What kind of “ecclesiastical leader” is this? Because of the former Iron Curtain, the average Westerner did not know about Stalin’s massacres, and it still isn’t understood by the west. It’s hard for westerners to believe that a leader would massacre the same people who supported him. The Cold War painted all communist leaders as equally bad. I think Miscavige identifies more with Hitler: the garish stage sets, the adoring crowds, etc. Like Hitler, he also is obsessed with being accepted by the elite. Hitler’s “Tom Cruise” was the Duke of Windsor. Scratch Miscavige’s surface and you find the terrifying face of Stalin, willing to destroy everyone and anything in his path.

        Schactian economics is Schactian economics, a parasite is a parasite. The hosts are being eviscerated from within. If no one stops this, and if members don’t wake up to their own peril, all that will be left is their husks.

        • sister wendy

          just because you are talking about Hitler and the Nazi aspect. Have you seen this particular documentary? One of the interesting ones- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JbsFOkVM8g

          • sister wendy

            totally off-topic- nothing with Scientology- Hitler and charisma

      • Missionary Kid

        Chairman Mao was responsible for more deaths than either Stalin or Hitler because of not the only the revolution, but the massive economic failures like the Great Leap Forward, which caused the starvation of huge numbers of Chinese.

    • Couch_Incident

      I’ve always had the feeling that as long as DM has power and money during his lifetime, he doesn’t care what comes after he’s gone. It would explain a lot of his moves if his “long term strategy” was confined to his lifespan (and took into account fleeing to another country with access to secret accounts). It’s consistent with the fact that he doesn’t have children or a designated successor (or even a clear second in command).

      • Missionary Kid

        “Long term strategy” for DM, I’m betting is planning for lunch.

    • John P.

      I think the phenomenon of moving into the next generation of hosts is far too advanced to save the mission network. Frankly, it’s surprising to me that any missions in LA, NorCal or FL within 20 miles of an Org are still functional at this late date. Perhaps the missions are still open because of threats of “ethics” handling for being “counter intention” rather than because they have any economic viability of their own.

      The real wave of cannibalization at this point seems to be the high-end orgs, particularly Flag, cannibalizing the regular orgs and even some of the other high-end orgs like AOLA and AOSH. That trend seems set to accelerate if the Sooper Powerz building opens as “new Flag” and they bury any mention of the Sooper Powerz rundown. It may also be the case that the “Golden Age of Tech 2” ends up centralizing things even more since, if stories on Mike Rinder’s blog and elsewhere turn out to be accurate, the orgs won’t be able to get staff trained any time soon and will thus end up having to send people to Flag for even the most rudimentary stuff that they used to be allowed to do on their own, despite promises that the orgs will be equivalent to Flag in their ability to deliver almost everything. It seems that this much greater wave of cannibalization is also sufficiently far enough advanced that it is irreversible, as is the less visible cannibalization of the various “Advanced Orgs.”

      • Artoo45

        Santa Rosa is the largest city between Portland and San Francisco and we don’t seem to have any Scientology presence anymore. The place where there is supposed to be a mission is closed up and the people that used to do the free stress tests at the Farmer’s Market have been MIA for a couple of years now.

        • Observer

          Here’s hoping they all abandoned ship.

    • Exterrier

      There is not a more fascist religion on the planet, it seems. Combined with commie prison camp interrogation and reeducation programs, like the RPF and especially the Truth Rundown and OW write ups. Just amazing

  • Espiando

    The sad part about all of the downvoting is that Tory Christman knew better than to do something like this fourteen years ago. Of course, Usenet didn’t have easily-clickable arrows that require no effort. It also required, of course, that you read the content of posts. You don’t have to do that here. It’s just a matter of finding the down arrow and clicking, no exposure to entheta required.

    This is why I pooh-pooh FoX and the others who post stuff like “freeloader debt is not enforceable” whenever Dickie Downer shows up. He/she/clam is not going to read it.

    So, therefore, I can say this, knowing full well that Dickie isn’t going to read it, but we are: Dickie, your OSA handler sucks cock on Hollywood Boulevard, since that’s “command intention”. He puts on makeup, a wig, and a short cocktail dress to do it. He calls himself “Renee” when he’s all dolled up. The original design of his dress was from Bill Robertson’s “Moonlight Meetings With Elron Elray” collection.

    And as for your effect, have you ever seen a 90s British series called “The Fast Show”? One of their recurring sketches involved a man who, whenever he said a particular phrase or word, would moan, then softly say, “I’m sorry, I’ve just cum.” You clicking the down arrow is our trigger word.

    So keep on doing it, buster. I’m getting off more now at 48 than I was at 28 thanks to you.

    • Observer

      That’s one reason I shoop. It’s easy to not read text, but a lot harder to not see an image.

      • Snippy_X

        Studies back you up on this, too. Shoops have better retention rates, whether the viewer wants them to or not.

    • MO Mom

      So therefore, those of us who actually READ posts, are confusing family members with sudden unexplained giggle fits…

    • FistOfXenu

      Right. Pictures. I’ll practice

    • stateofcircle

      I actually think they do at least some reading of the posts, because I’ll notice that some posts in the same timeframe aren’t downvoted or they have a different number of downvotes. I’m sure it’s mostly arbitrary, but I do think there is some reading going on. They certainly think everything we’re saying is wrong and ludicrous, but still.

      I had responded to one of Theo’s posts the other day, in which he asserted that Scientology was actually Scientific, to which I objectively replied with examples of things that, while maybe effective and beneficial, are anecdotal or circumstantial rather than scientific. I didn’t attack or accuse. Theo then came back with more garbage about the scientificness, and I thought to myself, “what’s the point?” and I didn’t bother to respond. I realized that sometimes when you argue with someone and that person doesn’t want to engage you further, you might think that you won the argument and proven the other person wrong. So wrong that they have nothing left to say. From what I have learned, Sciloons feel this way all the time. I realized that no matter what I could say or how valid, factual or correct I was, nothing I said would change his mind, even a logical argument with cold, hard facts that are, well, FACTS that can’t be debated. But Scientologists – even (some) independent ones, are so far down the rabbit hole of crazy that right is wrong, logic makes no sense, facts are arbitrary, and opposition is confirmation that they are inarguably right. In fact, the more a person disagrees with them,no matter how factual or intelligent, the more right they think they are. And this mindset is based on the childish coping mechanism of “They’re just mean to you because they’re jealous of you.” And as much as it sucks to be wrong, insulted or made fun of, the reality is that a fat kid getss made fun of because he’s actually fat, a restaurant with nothing but bad reviews and word of mouth actually is bad, and a religion that is based on a lie is actually a lie (even per Tommy Davis).

      So arguing with or trying to prove a logical, valid and factual point to a Scientologist is just about as effective as putting out a fire with gasoline.

      • richelieu jr

        I have noticed this as well, but so often the DVs seem random… Someone will say something scathing and get by, whereas the next post ‘t even mention CoS and get DV’s…

        I suspect it may be based more on who is commenting, because up until yesterday, had only ever had 2 or 3 DVs (which really hurt my feelings, BTW!), but then I said I was making a film on COS and today I have what, 30?

        • Observer

          I think Disqus’ twitchiness is a factor too. Half the time I can’t see all the posts without reloading. The ones that don’t get downvoted may just not be showing up for Downer.

      • MissCandle

        You can’t argue or debate with Stupid or with Crazy.

      • Missionary Kid

        I also got into it with Theo. After a while, I was replying to him very factually. I finally came to the realization that his mind can’t be changed, that he’s a true believer, and he might well be on a tone game expedition.

        I found that I got to the point that all I’d needed to do was to quote back to him the LRH quote he’d just posted, but I reacted being so angry that I missed it. Yeah, he was manipulating my “tone level.”

        He basically was ignoring whatever I wrote or quoted, and the only thing that mattered to him was what LRH had written.

        LRH, to him was a scientist because LRH said he was a scientist. It didn’t matter that the rest of the world thought he is a joke

        “So arguing with or trying to prove a logical, valid and factual point to
        a Scientologist is just about as effective as putting out a fire with
        gasoline” The same is true for every True Believer.

  • richelieu jr
    • Espiando

      And this is supposed to be a credit to him in what way?

      The fact that the Daily Fail is the world’s most-read news website is an indictment of humanity.

      • media_lush

        you’ve partly answered your own question

        • Espiando

          At least I don’t hide my misanthropy, unlike L. Ron.

      • richelieu jr

        Only that is is on a different continent and he seems to be the source of everything.
        I agree it’s an awful rag. We still talk about scientology reports on Fox or crapy cable channels sometimes. It is the subject that is of interest, I thought..

    • ze moo

      Marc Headley is being quoted all over the intertubes and many news web sites. After Earth may make enough to pay back the investors, but it won’t make much. We’ll see how the Monday numbers go. Jada may make Will sleep on the couch if her money is lost…..

  • Missionary Kid

    Apparently, the Downer has hit and run. I’m proud to say, I got 5 down votes. The champion, however, was Captain Howdy, with 6. This all happened 4 or 5 hours ago.

    • Captain Howdy

      Bully for me!

    • sister wendy

      maybe Tony could make some kind of a down arrow scoring chart- they can be collected throughout the year….and the person with the most down arrows gets….???

      • Missionary Kid

        It gets difficult to determine a winner, because trolls, like Theo, had 13 down arrows on one post on May 29th.

        Let’s just keep track of Troll Targets. Starting today, Captain Howdy has 6.

        • sister wendy

          rock and roll;)

        • sister wendy

          How’s this:
          Start- May 31 2013
          Day: Saturday
          Winner: Captain Howdy
          Arrows: 6
          Trending words: will smith, dabbling in Scientology, truth seeking jackasses, tom cruise

          • Missionary Kid

            Sounds good to me.

            BTW, why’d you pick sister wendy for your avatar? It brings to mind different churches whose members often address other members as brother or sister, particularly in Black churches, but it could just be you’re someone’s sister.

            I don’t want you to reveal anything you don’t want to.

  • Spackle Motion

    Edith Bunker (Jean Stapleton) died today. I have major sads about that. That show is still one of my favorites.

    • dbloch7986

      I love donnie darko!

    • FistOfXenu

      She was an honorary bunkerite. I watched it all the time and called 1 of my uncles “Archie” because he used to say weird shit. Good thing I was grown up and he was too old when that show came out or he’d’ve pounded me pissless for it.

      RIP Jean.

    • Captain Howdy

      Jean Stapleton was a fine actress and very intelligent lady, All in the Family was one of best and most important shows in the history of television. It induced many a dinner time brawl at my house once upon a time.

      Goodbye Jean

    • MO Mom

      She had the most beautiful smile. I wasn’t allowed to watch All in the Family as a kid, because my dad said there was too much yelling. I watched when I was older – I figure he was trying to protect me from Archie’s bigotry. Edith was soooo much smarter than she let on and was such a strong, wonderful character, thanks to Jean’s portrayal. Ms. Stapleton left a brilliant legacy.

    • sister wendy

      oh- I loved her. She was so inspirational…..loved all of her work. I just saw her in Bells are Ringing again last week.

  • Artoo45

    Could they at least center their crappy sign over the door?

  • Sherbet

    Jeez, I spent a day enjoying the back yard, and I come in to find I’ve missed DownArrowBoy? It isn’t Thursday, so maybe it’s a few indies (Clams Lite) from you-know-where, wandering over here to see personally what a “cult” the Bunker really is.

    • Missionary Kid

      I never mentioned Co$ in my post that got 5 downers, but it did mention a cult quiz. Captain Howdy is the Champeen at 6 down arrows.

      I’m wondering if that’s a record for a non-troll post.

      • Sherbet

        Now I’ll have to look for Howdy’s post to see what was so offensive.

        • Captain Howdy

          it wasn’t anything special and one of those dv’s wasn’t from dv boy.

          • Sherbet

            Pretty astute of you, though.

        • Missionary Kid

          If you want to find it, reload today’s posts in a new window, then keep doing the “Add new Comments” dance until you reach the very bottom, then go up about 5 “Page Up” keys on your keyboard and You’ll find it.

          Here’s what he wrote ” Exactly. And I don’t see how D.M would let one of the biggest stars in the world be a secret scientologist. If D.M promised the Smiths they
          could be secret scilons, I don’t doubt he would find a way to blow their cover surreptitiously in order to make them go public.”

          • Sherbet

            Priceless!

            • Missionary Kid

              Davey or Debbie Downer probably belongs to the Aluminum Foil Hat Brigade that makes up true believer $cions.

              As the Shadow used to say, “Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of man?”

    • The Dakini

      Ok, I feel a bit better. I looked at Captain’s reply to my post and got 3 downsies. I thought “WTF!?”

      Now I’m on the board. Watch out Capt! 😉

  • Peter Robinson

    Recently Birmingham City Council gave planning permission for an ‘Ideal Org’ in Moseley, Birmingham, U.K.

    It is a large, quite impressive property, adjacent to a private school, and opposite a public (or as we call them here, state high school).

    It looks like a potential huge money hole for scifiology.

    IIRC Birmingham U.K. was once a major scifiology stronghold.

    While we are in some ways happy to see LRH (L for Loony, R for Ridiculous, H for Horseshit)/Miscavige minions waste money on this vanity project, anyone in the U.K. want to make a fuss about this? Feel free to mail me at diohuni@gmail,com

    Cheers, Peter

    • aquaclara

      Simply love the acronym!

  • Jgg2012

    I wonder if these idle orgs aren’t just a plot to hide Scientology’s assets. Imagine: the IRS revokes Scientology’s tax exempt status. It attaches Scientology’s real estate holdings…but wait, Scientology doesn’t own this! It’s been sold to local members who lease it back to the Church! Same with the copyrights to the Bridge Publications, the Swiss bank accounts, and so on.
    No, the Church isn’t growing, it’s obviously in contemplation of death.

  • BuryTheNuts2

    Um, off topic but funnier than hell.

    Did anyone read the Marty Rathbun rant of the day?

    Today is stellar! And the comments are delicious (especially Alanzo).
    Marty even mentions Quantum Mechanics again in one of his reply’s to someone.
    (Whenever Marty talks Quantum , It just makes me inexplicably giddy)

    But I digress………..
    Apparently we “bunkerites” are the “anti Ron cult “!

    Personally, I am a little disappointed in the name. I really think he could have been much more creative than that.
    I know WE could do better!

    enjoy

    http://markrathbun.wordpress.com/2013/06/01/cults-enemies-and-shadows/#comments

    • Artoo45

      How about The Entheta League of Enturbulation™!

    • FistOfXenu

      Apparently we “bunkerites” are the “anti Ron cult “!

      What? You mean the only 1? Wow!

    • Artoo45

      The Orteganauts? The Church of Orteganetics™?

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Keep em coming!!!
        Marty’s name is LAME!!!

        • FistOfXenu

          LAME? Shiny cloth they made hideous disco onesies out of back in the 70s, right?

          • Observer

            Like this?

            • FistOfXenu

              Yup. Just like that. Think Marty would’ve ever wanted pants like that? 😛

      • richelieu jr

        The OrtegaNOTs!

        • Captain Howdy

          Anti Ron Con or ARC

          • richelieu jr

            The NotaRonbots

            • Captain Howdy

              The Farsecians

            • BuryTheNuts2

              WINNER for me!

            • Observer

              Ooo, I vote for Farsecians!

            • Captain Howdy

              And we belong to the Cult of Farsec

              And I nominate BTN to be our High Priestess

              But only if she keeps the Callisto AV

            • BuryTheNuts2

              I recycled her just for you Captain.

            • Sherbet

              I like it, Howdy!

            • Captain Howdy

              All we need to do now is to get BTN some dragons and we can clear the world of the white walkers i.e scientologists and the rest of the infidel cults

            • BuryTheNuts2

              I am on a roll tonight. Probably because I am way too damn sober!

            • Captain Howdy

              I’m still recovering from yesterday so I’m just doing the occasional potato juice shot with a Dr. Pepper chaser. I’m going to go rock out for a bit. Ta my Priestess.

            • Missionary Kid

              Let’s not overreach. One dragon at a time.

        • SandiCorrena

          Love this one! Bravo!!

    • SandiCorrena

      I saw it! I did not realize Marty was soooo super sensitive; he is very upset that we can’t acknowledge one redeeming factor of LRH and why why why? Uhhhhhhhh maybe because the poison LRF spewed is still spilling all over the place hurting people?!?

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Isn’t is great….The entire post is whining about us.

        It is awesomeness.

        • Observer

          Does he think our sensibilities are as delicate as his followers’?Seriously, he should know better than that by now.

          My conclusion: he’s just jelly.

        • Missionary Kid

          As he said, “If the shoe fits.” I’m not that familiar with Marty’s blog, so I took it to mean some other group, because he’s so vague.

          That being said, I’d be proud to be included in a group that thinks LRH was a dirtbag con man whose ethics were excellent, if one’s ethics are akin to Charles Manson.

          Marty just ignores the fact that his mission while he was an executive in Co$ was just a continuation of the evil that LRH promulgated against anyone who even disagreed with him, questioned him, or left.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            MK…trust me…he was definitely talking about us “Ortegabots”.
            I can guarantee you that!

            • Missionary Kid

              Oh, I see. We are, to put it in Harry Potter terms, “Those Who Must Not Be Named.”

              In doing that, he’s conceding to us as a group much more power than we have. I think that says much more about his mindset and his subconscious, er, to put it in the cult word clear terms, reactive mind.

              I’ll take any guarantee from you, BTN2.

      • FistOfXenu

        I wonder what other things Marty’s super sensitive about.

        • Espiando

          Since we know that OSA monitors this blog, and since we know that Marty’s pre-clear folders have already been used on those numerous hate sites, maybe we can ask them to pass some things over to us that they haven’t used. If they can tell us, say, who Marty confessed to fantasizing about when he masturbated, Google Image Search becomes our friend and ally.

          • FistOfXenu

            So if you decide Marty’s object of desire is hot and masturbate/fantasize at the same time as him, will that be a 3-some?

      • Observer

        If Hubbard had a redeeming quality I would gladly acknowledge it. Unfortunately, when I look at him all I can see is plagiarism, hypocrisy, lies, illogic, mind control, brutality, paranoia, abuse, self-pity, baseless self-aggrandizement, suspicious deaths, suicides, children deprived of their childhoods, destroyed families, black ops … I could go on and on.

        • richelieu jr

          He was very energetic.

          • Observer

            Since he used his energy to subjugate others and brew his poison, I can’t give him that either.

            • George Layton

              He could type fast.

            • Observer

              But is that a redeeming quality, or just a run-of-the-mill ability?

            • MissCandle

              He was a great exaggerator. He could go for days without brushing or flossing.

            • Observer

              Not what I’d call a redeeming quality … blech!

            • Sherbet

              He was an experienced husband. Three times (or two, depending on who’s counting).

            • BuryTheNuts2

              I am still experiencing a mathematical paradox with his wife count.

              He had a first wife and a third wife, but no second wife.

              Does he just have a problem with even numbers?

            • Sherbet

              He had a problem with wives.

            • Missionary Kid

              Not just with wives, but women and children.

            • Observer

              I’m sensing some major MUs of “redeeming!”

            • Couch_Incident

              He won the contest for who could wait the longest with a sebaceous cyst without seeking medical attention.

        • EnthralledObserver

          One thousand +1’s – agree!

    • SciWatcher

      Judging from all his latest posts, it seems to me that Marty finally has gone off the rails. Watching it is pretty amusing

      • SciWatcher

        It also seems like Marty’s psychological reaction to us “haters” is similar to David Midget’s reaction to Marty.

        • Anonymookme

          Meet the new boss…..

        • Observer

          They learned from the same master.

    • SandiCorrena

      Oh and I think the UN-CLEAR for a name; I want Tony to offer UN-Clear bracelets we can buy to help support the bunker to counterpoint the clear bracelets-like the one Tony has with a line through it or something? Orrrrrr a LRH communique all scrunched up in a little mini-trash can!

      • stateofcircle

        Yeah the bunker definitely needs some merch.

    • Observer

      Even with the lousy name, it’s a whole lot better cult to embrace than Ron’s. I’m not getting sec checked, KRed or fleeced here. That automatically makes it better.

      • SciWatcher

        And it’s free!

      • BuryTheNuts2

        I really hate the name because Ron’s name is in it. He doesn’t deserve the free advertising.
        I would rather be a Xenuologist!

        • richelieu jr

          Oh! I thought you were referring to ‘Bunkerites’!

          • BuryTheNuts2

            How Dare You!
            (In my best Anne Archer bitch face)

    • Anonymookme

      Reality is not Marty’s friend. Hell, reality is not even an acquaintance of Marty’s.
      his fee-fee’s are hurt because there is a group of people who think that his idol, LRH, was a loon and a fraud and this group of very diverse and very entertaining people have the audacity to state their opinions and knowledge regarding LRH out loud.
      Marty and his Merry Band of Morons can’t handle the truth.

      • SandiCorrena

        I screech like that when I see a snake or a spider, his fee-fees are hurt!

    • Captain Howdy

      Some guy told Marty he’s starting to sound like Barbara Schwarz…

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYLGdzZ5XkA

      After Moosey and the few remaining indies walk away, Babs will be there with open arms offering Marty shelter from the storm.

      • Observer

        I bet he loved that!

        • Captain Howdy

          He responded with “QED”

          He’s starting to respond with the same rote responses over and over again. Kind of like what vaLLarrr does these days.

          • Observer

            It’s that Scientology-enhanced intellect at work.

          • stateofcircle

            Ad hominem ad hominem cognitive dissonance natter ad hominem enturbulate spiritual cognitive dissonance nattering.

            So is that pretty much what’s being said over there? I’ll stay over here, thanks.

    • The Dakini

      What’s with Marty copy/pasting the same lines over and over again in replies? Yikes.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Maybe he ran out of rhetoric?

        • Missionary Kid

          Ronbots don’t really deal in rhetoric, since it’s all circular and self-referencing word salads. There’s no real rhetoric that can be understood IRL.

      • Anonymookme

        Marty seems to feel that if comes across as a man of few words, he will be perceived to be on such a higher intellectual plane as the rest of of us lowly schlubs, his Big Beingness or Big Beanness will just shine through.
        He’s a fraud on the same level as his guru, Ron The Loon. Marty’s word salads are so trite and so stale he’s starting to make Sarah Palin’s gibberish make sense.
        But when you realize that he has described Ron The Loon’s word salads as “brilliant”, you just have to consider the “source”.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          He sure is mixing his metaphors (so to speak)

          • Anonymookme

            He thinks that if he adds the words “quantum”, “zen” and “path” to his posts and his comments, it’s game, set, match.
            Um, not really, Marty.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              I can’t decide if Marty wants to be Max Planck or Dharmakirti when he grows up.

            • Espiando

              If he decides on Planck, what he’ll get from me will make the Squirrel Busters look like an all-expenses-paid trip to Cozumel.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              And I will be your wing-woman on that one!!!

            • Missionary Kid

              I think that his path to his zen being is fucked up.

            • George Layton

              Zen and marty’s art of doublethink.

            • Missionary Kid

              Agreed.

            • SandiCorrena

              It never occured to me that a Zen master could have their panties in such a knot; I assumed they were mutually exclusive? And, IMHO Tony didn’t even say anything re the Warrior book that was so pantie knotting….

      • Captain Howdy

        He’s in shock.

        • The Dakini

          Ha!

    • Espiando

      There still may be hope for Marty. He hasn’t descended into calling us Tools Of The Psychs, the Sixth Invader Fleet, or The Last Outpost Of The Marcab Confederacy. At least DM honored us Anons in that fashion when he was flailing around for an explanation on why over 9000 people came out in masks to tell his “church” where to stuff it.

      I think once his butthurt wears off, his rhetoric will tone down and he’ll go back to his quest to find his Second Navel.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        “quest to find his Second Navel.”
        That was a gut buster!!!

        • George Layton

          Oh sheesh, I hope his second navel didn’t come from an attachment to old mother hubbard!

          • BuryTheNuts2

            EW George……..just eeewwwww!

      • Anonymookme

        His butthurt this time seems a little over the top. But, what do I know? I think that someone disagreeing with me is, well, you know, just life.

      • Observer

        I think he just doesn’t get why we don’t fall in line with him. Our criticism of his book must have really stung.

    • Couch_Incident

      Got to wonder what he thought the reaction would be over here: “Gee, Marty’s on to something! DM is the real problem, LRH was a force for good, and now that Marty has shown me the way, he should take over Scn, Inc. and I’m ready to join!”

      • Espiando

        I think he might have expected someone here who wasn’t part of his automatically-approve-their-posts coterie on his blog to go against Tony’s review. The fact that this didn’t happen automatically marked us out to be a Hive Mind worthy of Anon, with Tony as Queen of the Borg. That’s his story, anyway, and he’s sticking to it for now.

        In the meantime, he doesn’t realize that his smaller, more addled Hive Mind over at his blog are behaving the same way to us. Of course, they’re used to having a monoculture when it comes to opinion.

      • Anonymookme

        Marty can’t accept that the “get out of jail free” card that he feels he deserves for turning on DM, doesn’t absolve him from the crimes against real, live, breathing human beings he perpetrated before DM turned on him.
        You lay down with dogs…….

    • Observer

      Oh, dear, I think Marty may have blasphemed! ARC is one of Ron’s sacred acronyms, and Marty called us the Anti-Ron Cult, which applies that same acronym to a no-good bunch of J&Ders. For shame!

      • BuryTheNuts2

        You have NO IDEA how bad I want to go over there and tell him that we love our new name he gave us, but we prefer acronyms….So we are going to call ourselves ARC.

        Thanks Marty!

        • Espiando

          I was going to post this over at Marty’s, then decided not to. I went with a portmanteau rather than an acronym:

          “We are cognizant of the many who will decry our methods as parallel to those of the Church of Scientology. Those who espouse the obvious truth that your organization will use the actions of Anonymous as an example of the persecution of what you have for so long warned your followers.

          This is acceptable to Anonymous. In fact, it is encouraged. We are your SPs.” – Message To Scientology

          And if you keep treating us like wogs, degraded beings, and SPs, Marty, we’ll keep being your SPs. Wishing what you might call Cultega away is just as futile as OSA “handling” Anon like they said they would in March 2008 (the OSA that you helped organize and train, Marty).

          Self-organizing a pity party with a looped soundtrack of Magazine’s “Shot By Both Sides” is beneath you, Marty. Your dignity survived the Toxic Midget. But, somehow, it can’t survive a bunch of snarky people who want nothing more than for you to keep damaging RCS like you’ve been? Stop playing the Butthurt Sonata and get back to playing what I consider the most interesting Long Game in the battle against RCS, a process that includes your self-discovery. It’s a grandmaster-level class in progress.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            CULTEGA!!!
            bwwwaaaahahhhaaaa

            edit: Oh you so should do it!! Great post.

            • Espiando

              Did so. And he approved your post on us being called “ARC”.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Oh that is funny. OUCH!

    • nottrue

      marty blocked me for asking about ron saying not smoking causes lung caner hes afraid of the true

      • BuryTheNuts2

        You probably restimulated his “I fucking ruined Annie Brokers only chance at happiness engram”
        GOOD FOR YOU!!!

      • LisaIsRemembered

        Smoke ’em if you got ’em, Marty.

    • SandiCorrena

      You think he just misses the drama of being surveiled constantly? Missing his celebrity status?

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Don’t you?

        And he lost most of his obsequious indie crowd to the real “alpha male”, Steve Hall.

        OK, I type the above sentence with a straight face until I got to the last four words.

        • SciWatcher

          There was a reference to an argument with Steve in the comments on Marty’s blog…sorry for my ignorance, but who is Steve? Has there been some sort of power struggle amongst the indies that Steve won?

          • BuryTheNuts2

            Steve Hall.
            And yes on the power struggle…Steve won (at least if you go on indieclam bodycounts)

            • Espiando

              And Steve still can’t reach his magic 500 figure for the Indie Clambake.

              Jesus, how did these people help run a mammoth cult? Maybe DM is some sort of management genius.

            • Missionary Kid

              To state the obvious, DM is not a management genius. What follows is just my opinion. Please correct me.

              The problem that the Indies have is that once clams leave the emotional jail of Co$, they start to realize that they don’t have the top down all encompassing authority any more. To feel comfortable, some turn to various Indies, and resume the role of subservient clams, but once they’ve thrown off the shackles of one controlling organization, it’s easy to throw off shackles of another.

              Some clams will stay with the Indies, and, for others, the Indies will simply be a half-way house on their way to exit from any association with LRH.

              DM has the advantage of taking over a huge amount of property and income as well as an organization. The Indies don’t have any of that, and also, because they don’t have the absolute control necessary to hold people in line, they can’t hold on to them.

              It appears that DM is actually losing people and is losing previous income, so his management technique is lousy. He’s acting like the COB did when different information was available. He seems to operate like the solution for all the entheta out in wogworld is just to produce more and more on the internet and in other public forums.

              What he doesn’t realize is that as far as the general public is concerned, the crown jewels of his celebrity star firmament, is starting to look at them like they’re really fucking nuts. Yes, there is a coterie of fans who will never change their view of JT or TC, but there’s a whole new generation that looks at them as weirdos.

              What is in operation with

        • Anonymookme

          And it just chafes him that he doesn’t get a pass for the hurt and devastation and ruin he brought to his fellow “travelers” because he was just “following orders”.
          He professes to do a lot of reading of the philosophers, he might want to pick up a history book or two.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            And a dictionary! Because Marty still has a buttload of MU’s.

        • Espiando

          The problem is that I can’t read those last four words without throwing up a little in my mouth. Mike doesn’t make me want to go out and put on the mask again. Not even Marty makes me want to do that. But Hall? Absolutely.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            Because Hall is batshit crazy.
            Marty and Mike may be still hooked on the juice, but they are “relatively” sane.

            • Captain Howdy

              Marty got his crown stole out from under him just like Pat Broker. The little nerdy kid in the corner had the last laugh.

      • Anonymookme

        Oh hell yes. He did enjoy his turn on the “victim” ride.
        Sadly for Marty, his run at victimhood doesn’t absolve him from the damage he did.
        A bunch of loons standing on your porch shrieking and babbling while wearing dumbass hats is not quite the same as ruining the lives of others and tearing families apart.
        Close, but no cigar.

      • Captain Howdy

        No doubt

  • Ivan Mapother

    I understand the Houston Astrodome is for sale and available imediately. I also remember Slappy Miscavige claiming no Scientology presence in Texas for legal purposes. Here’s s perfect opportunity for the Stumpy One to beat two birds with one blunt instrument: the planet’s largest Ideal Org in an area unserved by LRH tech.

    • SandiCorrena

      OMG please not Houston! Course we’re all armed…but no NOT HOUSTON!

  • Sherbet

    Why does the name “windhorsegallery” sound familiar? That person posted on Marty’s blog. Is it Karen?

    The sound you hear is me kicking myself for visiting Marty’s place, but I was curious about the scourging the Bunkerites are undergoing there. Thwak, thwak, thwak.

    • John P.

      I don’t recall who Windhorse Gallery is but I am fairly certain that it is not Karen. She posts under “Karen #1.”

      • Sherbet

        Thanks. I thought Gallery = Karen. I thought wrong.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          I want to say her name is Christine….
          I reserve the right to be totally wrong.

          • Sherbet

            She used to post at the Bunker, but it’s been a long time. Not important; the name just jumped out at me.

            • Captain Howdy

              Windhorse Gallery use you to post here until she realized we were a bunch of degenerate deviant degraded drug addled debauched demons

            • BuryTheNuts2

              And those were are good points!

            • Sherbet

              Well done, Howdy. Now try “Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.”

            • aquaclara

              Wait, you’re not Capt. Howdy…

            • Chocolate Velvet

              IIRC, I believe she shared her real name here with us (and other places online, I think), as a way of declaring an end to any fear of the cult and it’s retribution. She said Windhorse had special meaning to her, so she would keep posting with that handle.

              It is important to remember that it can be genuinely painful to see and hear ridicule of something that you have taken very seriously. Even if you have moved on, it can still feel like a slap in the face, for some people. I think humor and satire are very powerful tools against cult-think. But some degree of sensitivity can be helpful too. Otherwise, this can be a scathing environment for those on the way out, or all the way out. Better to support and perhaps even nurture those people who really try to meet you halfway, IMO. Which is what I try to do, when I’m not being a smartass, that is! 🙂

          • Espiando

            “Christine” sounds right. I remember Windhorse signing her posts under that name over at Marty’s. She’s an Indie who was in for a long time. She’s put out some nice tidbits at Marty’s at what it was like to be in way back when. Good conversationalist, can get dogmatic but not oppressively so. Generally a good person.

            And Oracle’s now talking about Marty giving Hall’s faction blowjobs. Rarely has a Saturday that doesn’t include an episode of Doctor Who been so entertaining.

            • Sherbet

              Christine should come back here and see what an evil cult we really are.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Yeah, this ended up being all kinds of fun.

              And thanks to us, Marty’s blog comments stats are going up.

            • Chocolate Velvet

              Yep, I thought of that too. His comment counter has been sadly idle lately. Plus, he can use the dissent as a way to say — “look at me, I allow all points of view here!”

              That’s why I haven’t taken the bait, and I won’t. The man is a pitiful fool — as proven by his years of loyal sycophantic service to DM. He won’t be using me as a way to distract people from the conversation they might otherwise have about his book. For instance, why is nothing after 1986 relevant? Why not just report the truth and let his readers decide what’s relevant? And they just let that slide without a question or comment.

              It is very fun reading Marty’s replies, though. He’s playing the non sequitur game, and he’s really bad at it. He lacks the mental sophistication for that kind of subtle irony. But does not realize it, because he thinks “knowing how to know” takes the place of training in an environment of academic rigor. It’s funny in a pitiful way.

              He just seems really baked, to me. Hanging out with Mary Jane, Marty? LOL

            • stateofcircle

              My thoughts exactly. He’s pulling this shit just to boost his viewership and comments, and while I don’t blame him from a business standpoint, I don’t like his product and I’m sure as hell not buying it.

            • Chocolate Velvet

              Now that I think about it, it’s pure LRH. Invent an enemy that is misguidedand destructive — SMERSH,The Evil Psychs, or the Cult of the Antis — use it to distract from the obvious gaping holes in the “philosophy” you are selling. And from the things in your past you don’t want to own.

              Way to stay on source, Marty! Loaded words were L Ron’s favorite weapon. For throwing around the word “cult” in such a flippant and careless fashion, may you be haunted by the souls of the children who died at Jonestown. And the grief of all the SO women “encouraged” to have abortions they never wanted. I bet, when you were on post at Int, they knew they had no way out…

            • Sherbet

              The whole Marty thing has me scratching my head. How did disagreeing with Marty and being critical of lrh turn the Bunker into a cult? Do we have esoteric and secretive beliefs? Do we keep outsiders from learning anything about us? Are there scriptures and a standard code of conduct? Did we turn over our worldly goods to Tony Ortega?

              The only secret is our own identities (for most of us), but that’s normal for a blog, even Marty’s blog.

            • Espiando

              Well, I can understand the first part of his logic. We ended up agreeing en masse with Tony’s review of his book without reading it. Therefore, we’re willing to accept Tony’s word without question, which, to him, is cult-like behavior. His post using Tony’s review and our responses as a bit of cynical marketing to his core audience was actually reasonable from that standpoint, since most of his sycophants loathe Tony and hate us.

              But the leap from that to ARC/Cultega…the only explanation for this has to be found in the internal politics of the Indies. Is Marty trying to mend fences with Hall by doing this? Trying to shore up his eroding support by showing how much of a “true Scientologist” he is, even as he goes on frequent excursions out of Ron’s pseudo-philosophy? Trying to show us that he’s a good guy and not a brutal censor by approving posts by, among others, Alanzo, BTN, and me?

              Trying to figure out Marty’s motivations is a fun little parlor game for me. But this time, I’m too close to the trees to see the forest.

            • Sherbet

              Ah. I have to agree you make sense, Espiando. I thought Tony’s review was fair and diplomatic, but, of course, I’m not an indy. The big criticism of the (unread) book was that Marty didn’t go as far as he should have, that he’s still deluded by the “genius” of lrh and reluctant to admit to any guilt over his actions while in cos. These are all subjective opinions, but they elicit very strong feelings among the exes in particular. It might be easier for a never-in to read the book, because we have no PERSONAL reason to condemn or forgive Marty. As an insider’s look at cos, it might be interesting.

            • Anonymookme

              He’s a charleton, a clone of his guru. I say this as an insult to Marty and as the worst possible thing I can imagine someone saying to me. If Marty reads this, he will beam with pride at the comparison between him and Ron the Loon

            • Phil McKraken

              He never met LRH. His mentor is DM. Seeing that pointed out won’t make him proud.

            • Sherbet

              Ouch, Phil. How ironic.

            • Spackle Motion

              It is not much of a stretch for a human to take stock into another’s opinion, especially when that other’s opinion is one that often resembles his/her own.

              This is why Yelp and “word of mouth” subsists in consumer tastes. It is strange that this man is still harping on this weakness in himself for many days. He needs a lesson on proper marketing strategies to sell books. Desperate is as desperate does.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Well, we do use our own special brand of loaded language.

            • Sherbet

              Oh, yeah, and the secret handshake. It’s such a big secret, none of us know it.

            • Missionary Kid

              Yeah, and to top it off, we haven’t gotten our checks from Big Pharma, either.

            • Sherbet

              They ran short this month, so they’re going to pay us each $100 worth of psych drugs. I don’t know about you, but I thought I’d sneak mine into the water cooler outside DM’s office.

            • Espiando

              I hate to say this, but I’m on Cymbalta. $100 worth of that stuff is two days’ worth. They need to start upping the ante.

            • Sherbet

              I hope you have good insurance. And I mean that seriously.

            • Bleuler

              Is it really that expensive stateside? Cymbalta is considered one of the most expensive drugs here in Sweden, and the cost of 98 tablets, 60 mg, is 1132 SEK which works out to 170 USD. My chief does not like it being prescribed mind you, he prefers we use generics since the clinic bears part of the drug cost.

            • Missionary Kid

              My fantasy, which I’ve posted before, is to have DM slipped a tab of acid just before he takes the stage at an ideal org opening. I can visualize it hitting about half-way through.

              The video of his speech would be suppressed, like he tried to do with Mark Bunker’s video.

            • Sherbet

              That is FUNNY, Kid! Normally, I Just Say No, but for the sake of the hilarity, I’m all for dosing DM.

            • Missionary Kid

              Can’t you just see him, in the middle of a speech, both hands gripping the edge of the lowered podium, pausing in mid-sentence, looking around and saying, “Woooooooow, look at thaaaaat. Look at those colors!!”

              The faithful would not dare take him off the stage, leaving the assembled acolytes to sit there, interpreting what they were seeing as some sort of revelation.

            • Espiando

              A downvote for that? Marty, is that you? Or is it someone who’s upset that Matt Smith is leaving DW after the Christmas special?

    • stateofcircle

      Methinks he’s seen the volume of comments here and has deluded himself into thinking that if he picks a fight with us he’ll get attention. He should familiarize himself with the phrase “if a tree falls in a forest and no one is there, does it make a sound?”.

  • nottrue

    i try to post quotes from rons lectures on martys blog but he blocks them. why? because anybody with any brains at all can see they are the ravings of a madman

    • Anonymookme

      FYI if you preface every post at Marty’s with “Brilliant, Marty”, your posts will slide on through

      • nottrue

        i said i loved his book (lie) THAT DIDNT WORK

        • Anonymookme

          Seriously, try “brilliant”, he seems really susceptible to that word

          • nottrue

            i saw molly got a good one through useing the brillant marty tech so i tryed it but no go i think when i called him a chickenshit that was it for me

            • Missionary Kid

              What, he can’t stand words?

            • nottrue

              hes the big mr warrior and he blocks any comment he cant handle

            • EnthralledObserver

              Yay for Molly… my hero.

            • nottrue

              oh molly got a good one on him she started with oh brilliant marty brilliant

      • Missionary Kid

        Realize that while Marty apparently wants to venerate LRH, he really wants to be a new LRH, displacing the original. Quoting LRH to him is like waving a red flag, because as much as he like to claim that he’s following the Real Scientology, he wants his own words to hold sway.

        I believe that DM, on the other hand, just wants the power of LRH.

        Both have the problem that they are saddled with the heritage of a sociopath who just made it up as he went, producing contradictory scripture.

  • CommunicatorIC

    Mark “Marty” Rathbun: “Something I find interesting is the number of people who twenty-seven
    years after Ron’s death seem to derive their own sense of worth by
    virtue of obsessively continuing to go after L. Ron Hubbard. More than a
    quarter century after Ron’s death it seems that an active cult thrives
    on the central religious practice of spitting on his grave.

    Ironically, the members of the cult regularly, blatantly and shameless
    exhibit many of the behaviors they so indignantly protest in the cult
    Ron left behind.”
    http://markrathbun.wordpress.com/2013/06/01/cults-enemies-and-shadows/

    • Sherbet

      Read on, Communicator. We’ve all been discussing this nonsense.

    • Missionary Kid

      I proudly spit on his work, his cult, and his followers, be they the official ones or apostate. My self-worth has nothing to do with it. I am human.

    • Phil McKraken

      Why Ron still matters: “SP” doctrine, “PTS” doctrine, disconnection, fair game, RPF, juvenile Sea Org/Cadet Org membership, “study tech,” Narcanon, irrational hatred of psychiatry and psychology, religiously ritualized mass-scale fraud. All these things originated under Hubbard, and are carried on in his name and by his intent. As long as people are perpetrating these vile practices on other people, I will spit on Hubbard’s grave.

    • stateofcircle

      Oh god…..he’s never going to stop with this bunker cult garbage. Just another made up enemy for him to whine about and pretend he’s some sort of righteous underdog.

      • EnthralledObserver

        It’s a long, hard job for someone guilty of criminal acts to convince others he was always the good guy, innit? 😉

      • FistOfXenu

        And “warrior”. Don’t forget to call him warrior or you don’t get any ice cream after supper.

    • Spackle Motion

      Mr. Rathbun is good at the double speak. He is one that, 27 years after the death of LRH, continues to derive self-worth from a dead cult leader. He is also good at quoting a lot of dead men, including a lot of dead Asian types.

    • SandiCorrena

      The spitting on his grave part was my gasp out loud moment! Remained Gasp Faced for the remainder of that post! “Poor LRH” dead 27 years – yes but he is still wrecking havoc on new victims every freaking day; the gift that keeps giving/poisoning. IMO if ever any one had not one redeeming quality in their entire life it’s LRH. It seems like knowing everything he himself has done horror-wise he would be leading the grave spitting brigade. Oh maybe that’s what we should call ourselves, GSB!

  • Feeder

    Story is way too true. When “Management” starts putting pressure on making “Ideal Orgs” they decimate everything around the area to fill it up with customers, staff etc. I could give lots of examples over the last 15 years.

    Beverly hills mission was the World Champ just a few years ago, but now is totally gone. Victim of the envy of management because Bev Hills worked hard to keep their customers protected from the money scam machine and just getting some counseling and not ripped off to CCI and Flag. They used to pride themselves on having numerous highly trained Class 8 auditors / C/ses and really went out of their way to care for their good progress.

    But because they were making a bit of money and keeping a few PCs that ruffled feathers because they the mission, was accused of being “sooo greedy”. Now they are gone.

    They used to work hard and long to clear their people and now that is gone. I guarantee the execs there got sick and tired of the BS. They are now gone. Great management to close down those field activities – all they cared about was helping individuals and making a basic living. You should have seen how many people they audited and sent to CCI and Flag. Amazing. But now that is all gone…

    Good luck to anyone in Scn who succeeds, it will be taken from you by the greedy powers that be.

    Just saying my opinion based on decades of observation of how it runs. You just gotta love those managers and RTC Folks. It is a crying shame.

    • Sherbet

      Hang around the Bunker, Feeder. You sound like you have a lot of stories to tell.

  • EnthralledObserver

    And I’m unblocked… and not realising so, and just testing the waters in a blase way I called The oracle vile for the ‘blow job’ comments… ( I honestly didn’t think I’d be unblocked already) *sigh* I guess my unblocking won’t last too long…

    • Missionary Kid

      It seems that Marty does go back and retroactively delete posts, so hang on.

      • EnthralledObserver

        I hope so, I have a couple more posts pending too that I’m hoping he’ll let through.

        • Missionary Kid

          No, what I meant was that he may accept a post and put it up, but then remove it later. I think that’s what he did with Derek.

          • EnthralledObserver

            Oh, I see. Yeah, well it’s his blog, I guess. His choice. It’s just pathetic that he spouts the value of communication and whines about censorshitp but is not gracious about those rights for others.

            • Missionary Kid

              Marty’s blog is not a democracy. It’s a dictatorship, and not a benevolent one.

            • FistOfXenu

              like $cientarCONon

  • EnthralledObserver

    Here’s my reply to Molly incase it gets audited all the way to Target 2…
    “Molly… we love your direct way, just saying.

    As for happy lives without LRH tech… well, it’s not about that. Scientologists and Scientology aren’t interested in merely ‘improving lives’ so people are happy… in fact ‘happy’ isn’t even a goal. They want to make you ‘free’ and ‘clear’. How and why is rooted in ‘body thetan exorcism’… they are convinced of a strange and convoluted alien history that makes them believe they are imprisoned and therefore feel held back, miserable and distraught… and then feel the need to ‘free’ themselves. Most people don’t feel this way, and the story is childish and ridiculous to them (us), but these people are so convinced of it that they think they need to convince others what is wrong with them too. It’s all rubbish, and only a certain type of person is attracted to it or falls for it. Those that have issues with their self-esteem, or self-contentment – seekers of airy fairy understanding of life (instead of just living it). They are more interested in connecting to inner understanding than engaging with what is going on around them.
    It’s a placebo effect at best, and I have no problem letting them have it, so long as they understand that the rest of the world expects honesty and evidence if they want to try to convince us it is anything more.”

    • VickiStubing

      You go, girl!

      • EnthralledObserver

        It was deleted… anyone who wishes to go reproduce it under their own name, feel free… 😉

  • Guest

    too funny not to share

  • media_lush

    this is too funny not to share…. boy, Disqus outdid itself here

  • EnthralledObserver

    Yeah… I’m blocked again. 🙁 *sniff* I so wanted to go play in Marty’s sandbox…

    • Spackle Motion

      Marty does not have a sandbox. He has a cat box.

      • EnthralledObserver

        Well… I was figuring that the box of sand was hiding more and more of Marty’s (bull)shit… not cat faeces… either way, you’re right, it is a ‘litter box’ of sorts… 😉

  • grundoon

    Let me see if I got this straight… We won’t be letting Marty Rathbun into the Cool Kids’ Club?

    To get in, you have to post your anonymous opinion of Marty every time you hear the word “Marty.” Bonus coolness points if you’ve never been in Scientology and never known anyone who was, because who would be so stupid? We’re up to several hundred posts about Marty every day, repeating the same opinions we repeated yesterday and the day before… while Marty has to play in his blog by himself, ha ha!

    Let’s keep this thing going! We’ll tolerate a few comments about Tony’s topic of the day, whatever that is (today it’s the Valley Ideal Org, Marc Headley’s After Earth review, and Tom Cruise’s better looking and smarter doppelganger, but who cares), but we’d really rather joke about Cruise’s teeth and then get back down to business: Marty!!

    • Espiando

      If you had Diksuq set to “Oldest” rather than “Best”, you could have easily seen the progression here. We had about 300 comments (THIS…IS…ORTEGA!!!!) about the topics on hand, then Marty posted his latest screed, BTN brought it up here, and we commented. How could we not comment? Marty made it pretty obvious who he was talking about, and we have every right to comment about something directed at us, just as Marty did when he felt slighted by Tony and us after the review.

      We are not obsessed with Marty. We don’t bring Marty into the conversation unless it has direct pertinence. The fact that he was calling Bunkerites a “cult” is directly pertinent. And fourteen hundred comments about Marty’s post from last week? It’s an indication of how important we consider him to the effort to get rid of the cult. It’s an alliance of convenience, true, but it’s an alliance nonetheless, and we were a little perplexed and disappointed at his reaction to a negative, but fair, review of his latest book.

      I should know this. I’m an OT with Cause Over Life. Marty said I was.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Well said!
        Yeah, I found it impossible to ignore a Marty post that was fired at us like a smart missile.
        But then, I am admittedly childish like that!

        • Espiando

          But we do have to watch out. Grundoon is obviously a New OT Eleventy-thruppence and a graduate of the Ass-Clown Rundown. He knows how to use the Supah-Seekret Down-Arrow Tech, which you can only get at the Flag Land, Sea, and Air Base and Bingo Parlor. He’s a Big Beingness.

        • grundoon

          I’ve been finding Marty’s whole blog very possible to ignore since he quit having much to say about Scientology. Honestly I haven’t been over there lately and haven’t seen what he said about us (except what people have posted here). If I ever get around to reading it, maybe I’ll rant a bit too, if something occurs to me that 20 people haven’t already said over and over.

          • aquaclara

            Here’s a summary of what’s over there. I read it all today, since I was away for a bit. The comments and responses reply with a fair dose of name-calling and well, tone, as you can imagine.

            Comments posted anywhere by “critics” –ok, that’s us –debunking LRH or scientology are unacceptable, it seems. “If the shoe fits…” is a stock reply offered up by Marty. Methinks it’s somehow being taken as a criticism of Marty by extension. Otherwise, I don’t think we’d see all the tone (which ranges from anger to peevishness) and evidence
            offered up via trite sayings show we are wrong/they are right/ etc. Lots of stuff conveying how evil/stupid/dangerous, etc. said “critics” are, because we don’t understand all that greatness and goodness that seeps throughout the writings of LRH and MR.

            A reference about a “rock slam” from Steve Hall, with Marty replying that he’s offered up (something which sounds like a very snarkyish kind of) olive branch. Minor point amidst all the comments, but I am curious about the backstory here. Treacly praise for Marty dribbled in throughout the comment field from loyal followers.

            There was some blather about the “solidity of the universe is created by energy of opposite opposing forces” and “dichotomy”. I don’t know what Marty’s talking about, and I am going to ignore one commenter’s remark to simply “word clear” it. After a range of comments which might have said that this made no sense, Marty offers to clarify it in today’s blog, saying that “If you read the Tao of Physics …or Scientology OTII, there is no need for further explanation.” Hmph. (Note: WIN goes to Alonzo, who managed to include a warm-hearted compliment in with a bite about Marty being too general in his comments. Marty offers back a very nice compliment in return. I laugh at this part – it is funny).

            They think that if we truly knew the “goodness” of LRH and scientology, we would believe just like they do. I wouldn’t count on that happening any time soon, would you?
            This last one repeated over and over again, with loaded language, cult-speak and jibberish. The nice ones think it’s just that we’re misunderstood; the bulk of them think we’re a cult in and of ourselves because we criticize LRH (how dare we?). They tossed in a few references to ARC, blah, blah, blah. Oh, and it’s our fault. Ha.

            • grundoon

              Thanks, aquaclara! Guess I haven’t missed much by not reading that.

            • aquaclara

              Nope, other than the general enterbulation that this has caused on their site, along with the massive number of comments on the Bunker. Plus any cultural references we might make in the future about any of this. The day this all hit, Marty dumped on Derek, which got my back up (I am not the only one, of course. It was uncalled for and quite unacceptable.) Derek is the hero of the week. He politely turns it back to Marty and his role in the cult. Marty, pissed, then erased several comments in the string. Derek did
              GREAT. Marty is again pissed.
              So you can see why the comments are unfolding the way they are.

    • grundoon

      I know I’m late to the party, but come on, only four downvotes and one paragraph of personal attack?

      • Espiando

        What else do you want me to say about you? That your mother dresses you weird and you smell funny? If that’s the case, why not cut your mother out of the equation and just join the Sea Org?

  • sketto

    Davey, even the true believers are now realizing your con. Tick tock. Tick tock. Justice is a-comin’ to your door.

    • Tory Christman

      AMEN sketto! “The Church of Scientology Sherman Oaks” has been dead for awhile. Nothing in the windows…zero activity each time I’ve driven by. It used to be “The Enhancement Center” where most of the Celebrities were audited, until Davey boy decided oh no! They ALL have to go through “Celebrity Center”, which many don’t want to do. Good job, Dave! Years later—the joint is crashed. I just called, it now says what you say: “Church of Scientology Sherman Oaks and Beverly Hills”. HUH? Sherman Oaks is on one side of the Mountains (for those not living here)..and is “in the Valley”. Beverly Hills is about 30 minutes away, over the hills, IN Beverly Hills—way different location. Those in BH would not go to that mission, just due to the connection with Sherman Oaks.LOL ahhhh the hits just keep on comin! 🙂 Tick Tock, Tick Tock….time is on *our* side!

      • Tory Christman

        Let’s not forget the ol “Long Sign” Testing Center right in Hollywood we helped close down 5+ years ago. Here it is …still being “renovated” with their latest sign. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152840799010577&set=a.10150237556590577.469003.736745576&type=1&theater Last Xmas was the 1st Christmas they did NOT have “Winter Wonderland” there. They’ve been “renovating” this for over a year now, if not 2. DUH! See the holes where windows used to be. Guess ya need some more fundraising, Davey. To those still “in”: BAIL WHILE U STILL CAN! <<<< I am NOT kidding.Love to ALL 🙂 Tory/Magoo

  • USA MRIID

    “work like crazy”

    Pun certainly intended! 🙂