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HOW SCIENTOLOGY COERCED A CHILD TO HAVE AN ABORTION: THE LAURA DECRESCENZO FILES

HOW SCIENTOLOGY COERCED A CHILD TO HAVE AN ABORTION: THE LAURA DECRESCENZO FILES

—————- In anticipation of her biggest day in court yet, Laura DeCrescenzo and her attorneys hit the Church of Scientology with 928 pages of new filings —————- Details from 18,000 pages of evidence show how Scientology manipulated a child to keep her working under slave-like conditions —————- A key document describing DeCrescenzo’s unwillingness to have her coerced abortion is missing from the evidence Scientology was ordered to produce By Tony Ortega Wednesday afternoon, Laura DeCrescenzo filed explosive new information in her four-year legal odyssey against the Church of Scientology, submitting 928 pages of new declarations and exhibits in anticipation of a crucial October 23 hearing in her lawsuit against the church which alleges abuse, including allegations that she was forced to have an abortion at only 17 years of age. Key to the new filings is information gleaned from thousands of pages of previously secret files that the church fought mightily to keep under wraps. But on Monday, the U.

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ABC finally takes on Scientology…with General Hospital

Heather_WebberWe hear that soon, NBC’s Rock Center is going to do yet another hard-hitting episode about Scientology and its drug rehab network, Narconon.

That will be four big programs by the NBC show in the last year: One on ex-church executives Marty Rathbun and Mike Rinder, an initial show about deaths at the Narconon facility in Oklahoma, the Paul Haggis/Lawrence Wright special, and now another look at Narconon’s woes. In the meantime, Disney-owned ABC can’t seem to get out of the gate. As we’ve pointed out before, ABC’s 20/20 and Nightline have recorded hours and hours of footage for shows that just end up getting spiked by the network’s lily-livered attorneys. (From CBS, all we hear are crickets.)

But now ABC’s news division is really going to have a hard time living down the shame, as the network finally has taken a swing at Scientology and its leader David Miscavige — through its long-running soap opera, General Hospital.

Luckily, one of our many tipsters is a soaps fan who spotted something in an episode of GH that aired last week, and we found the key scene in this excerpt which was online. A transcript follows…

Bailiff: All rise. The Honorable Judge Shepherd presiding.

Judge: Be seated. Mr. Manning, you’ve agreed to a bench trial as opposed to taking your chances with a jury of your peers, which means that I alone will be deciding your fate. Do you understand?

Manning: Yes, your honor, I understand.

Judge: Call your first witness.

Prosecutor: The prosecution calls Heather Webber…Miss Webber currently resides in maximum security at the MISCAVIGE HOSPITAL FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE.

Judge: And yet you deem her to be a credible witness.

Prosecutor: I think you’ll soon agree. She just may know the defendant better than anyone.

Judge: Take the stand, please.

Defense attorney: You told me Heather Webber promised to take the rap for you.

Manning: She did.

Defense attorney: Then what the hell’s she doing here?

Manning: Did Heather make a deal? Is she willing to ruin my life in exchange for a lighter sentence? Is that what’s going on?

Defense attorney: Have you ever been to MISCAVIGE, Todd?

Manning: No, not yet.

Defense attorney: It makes Ferncliff look like a five-star resort.

Manning: There you have it, she made a deal.

Judge: Thank you, bailiff. We can proceed. Your witness…

——

MISCAVIGE HOSPITAL FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE?

How in the HELL did that get past ABC’s tightass attorneys?

Just to make sure we weren’t assigning too much portent to something said in a soap opera, we immediately called up our favorite soap star, ex-Scientologist Michael Fairman (who also featured in Friday’s moving video, “The Losing Game”).

Michael Fairman, veteran of The Young and the Restless

Michael Fairman, veteran of The Young and the Restless

When we described the scene and read the dialogue to him, Fairman busted out in a belly laugh.

Yes, he said, there’s no question in his mind that the writers of General Hospital knew exactly what they were doing.

“I have never heard the name Miscavige other than David Miscavige. And especially when they reference a hospital for the criminally insane — that’s priceless! I mean every Scientologist in and out of the church is going to get that. His name has been in the public for so long, with Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and the New Yorker and Vanity Fair and your blog. Everyone who has heard the name is going to get this,” Fairman says.

Scientologists in and out of the church as well as dedicated Scientology watchers will immediately get the irony in the association: the church hates psychiatry more than anything else in the galaxy. And Miscavige’s name has been put on not just any psychiatric hospital, but one that makes the Fernhill mental health facility (which we’ll have to assume is pretty awful) seem a palace by comparison.

Ouch.

What little we know about soap operas tells us that story lines evolve glacially — it will be interesting to see if the Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane becomes a recurring location in the show, and if the writing team there plants any other Easter Eggs for Scientology Watchers. Soap fans, please monitor the situation for us!

We see a “Property of the Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane” T-shirt in our future.

 
SPECIAL UPDATE FOR GENERAL HOSPITAL WRITERS: We’d love it if you could work the following words or phrases into upcoming shows…

“Oiliness”
“I took out all the semicolons.”
“I’m angry, real angry.”
“I knew every inch of him.”
“She’s just a bitter defrocked apostate.”
“He used to destroy people’s lives. Now he’s a zen master.”
“OT 8 is grrrrrreat!”

and

“I get up early in the morning so bastards like you can touch me.”

 
—————-

MORE SIGNS OF DESPERATION: SAVING SENIORS FROM MISCAVIGE’S EAR BOMB

On Sundays, we love showing you the wacky church e-mails and fliers that were sent to us during the week. A few days ago, a tipster forwarded to us a couple of messages about the upcoming L. Ron Hubbard Birthday Event being held on March 23 at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles. We’ve cut them down just a little for brevity…

Hi Folks,

About a year ago I sent out a survey to over 150 individuals, mostly “seniors,” concerning their likes and dislikes about events. It took me a long time to tabulate them all, but a couple weeks ago I finally met with Tashania Faust, the Event Director WUS [West U.S.] and gave her all the surveys and tabulations and
comments.

VOLUME was THE number one comment from the vast majority of respondents; the comfort level of the seats was another issue.

Tashania had already gotten to work on some of our issues before seeing the surveys, as you will see from her email below.

For the upcoming LRH Birthday event at the Shrine, please tell the ushers, who should be well-informed about this, that you would like to sit in the “lower volume” room on the second floor, which is accessible by elevator. I believe there will also be someone there who can lower the volume if it is still too high. We will also have comfortable chairs, and bathrooms are not far away on the same floor….

I think Tashania has put a lot of time and attention in on this, so let’s let her know how it paid off, okay?? :)

All the best,
Carolyn Holt

And here’s the second message, which Holt was referring to…

Hi Carolyn!

I am writing to you in reply to the fantastic surveys recently done of the New Era Seniors network regarding the International Management Events. Thank you VERY much for doing this as the responses were enlightening and useful.

I was happy to see that most people do attend the Int Management Events; it’s such an important part of any Scientologist’s hat [role]. But I also noted that there are probably ways we can better service you.

Firstly, I wanted to let you know what’s been done in the recent couple of years to handle the volume issue:

1. As of November 2012, the volume of the music in the video presentations has been brought down by Gold. In other words, you can now better hear the person speaking rather than it being overpowered by the music in the background.

2. We’ve decreased the volume overall in the auditorium a bit. There is a “decibel level” which is equal to a rock concert. While this was being used in previous years, it has been lowered by about 15 decibels since then.

3. We’ve also set up a “lower volume showing” at the Shrine which is just outside the auditorium on the 2nd floor (accessible by elevator). I have a technician on-site who’s sole purpose is to ensure the volume is low enough for all watching (mothers with babies, and those with sensitive ears).

You should also know that the length of the events has recently been shorter. They used to be 3+ hours several years ago. In recent years they are now 2+ hours. And for Maiden Voyage Events (in July) they’re sometimes only 1+ hours! Int Management does an AMAZING job of condensing as much good news into such a short period for us using videos, etc.–COMMENDABLE!….

As you know, we’re celebrating LRH’s Birthday on Saturday, March 23rd. Of course we want everyone to attend. It’s our Founder’s Birthday and I’m sure everyone will agree that it is one of the most touching, theta events of the year because it features stories about LRH’s life….

Looking forward to hearing from you and everyone else!

Best,
Tashania Faust
Event Director
Church of Scientology
Western United States
westuseventsunit@scientology.net

There seemed to be a lot to analyze here, so we turned to a person who worked these kinds of events for Scientology for many years, Marc Headley. Here’s what he sent us after looking at these two e-mails…

I worked on the Events Team for years. I was heavily involved with the audio lines and in fact used to do quality control work on the audio of the broadcasts that were aired.

This volume thing at Scientology events came up time and time again.

This is ALL Dave Miscavige. He and only he insists that the volume be at high levels. I guarantee that if they have been lowering the volume, he was not asked. And now that this is out, it will go back up.

He lives to hear himself talk. We would spend hundreds of hours in meetings talking about why the audio was not perfect. In those meetings, Miscavige lectured us about the sound. One guy went to the RPF — the Sea Org’s prison detail — because there was a problem with podium sound at the Sports Area for the 1993 “War is Over” event.

The Oscars used to be letting out right as we were loading in for the L Ron Hubbard Birthday Event each year (before the Academy Awards moved to the Dolby Theater in the early 2000′s). The stage crew would regularly comment how the volume was markedly louder at our event than for the Oscars. One stage guy even said that they had concerts in there with lower volume than what Miscavige insisted on.

Since everyone at the Int Base knows that Dave insists on the audio level being insanely loud, no complaints, surveys or other “reports” about this ever make it to him.

The Event crew would hear the complaints all the time. Anytime anyone acted on these complaints, they were not long for this world.

If Dave is at the event, it is going to be loud.

In terms of music levels in videos — that’s more Miscavige. When I left in 2005 he was still having to approve every music score and event video mixdown. He likes it to be loud enough that the music and voice are fighting each other. If you can hear either too easily, then the music needs to be turned up.

What else did I take from these e-mails? That they are so desperate to fill the Shrine, they are trying to hold on to elderly members who won’t come because of the volume.

If they really had 10 million members, shouldn’t it be a lot easier to fill up the 6,300-seat Shrine?

Thanks for that, Marc.

We also have to point out that we sat through two event videos in 2012, and contrary to the report by “Tashania,” each of them was three full hours — and with Miscavige talking through almost that entire time with his peculiar ideas about grammar and diction.

We’re really starting to feel sorry for those oldsters who are going to get crammed into the joint next week. Take earplugs, gramps!

 
—————-

PETE GRIFFITHS STILL DRIVING SNAKES OUT OF IRELAND

Pete_GriffithsJudging by all the youngsters staggering down the streets of New York yesterday, many folks got a head start on St. Patrick’s Day because it falls on a Sunday this year.

But we’ll stick to tradition and check in today with our man in Ireland, former Scientologist Pete Griffiths.

Last year, Pete told us that Scientology was having a dismal time on the Emerald Isle, as financial documents there proved. And this time, he tells us, the church is dragging its feet on turning over more info.

“Dublin mission is once again on the strike-off list for not submitting their accounts in time. It’s a regular occurrence. They are two years behind,” he says.

He also pointed that a man named Kevin Stevenson has filed a lawsuit against the church, alleging fraud and undue influence. Stevenson is suing for 100,000 euros, and we hope Pete will keep us up on the latest developments.

 
—————-

SCIENTOLOGY A WATCHWORD FOR NUTTINESS EVEN IN BERLUSCONI’S ITALY

Silvio_BerlusconiWe keep an eye on what’s being said about Scientology on Twitter, and yesterday we noticed a whole stream of commentary coming out of Italy. We looked into it, and it turns out that former prime minister Silvio Berlusconi made the remark that got so much attention.

Now, we won’t pretend to know much about the current political situation in that country, but apparently there’s a rising new political party in Italy called the 5 Star Movement whose most visible member is a former stand-up comedian, Beppe Grillo. While the party has a reformist, libertarian platform, critics have called it undemocratic, a cult of personality with fascist leanings.

Yesterday, Berlusconi, after returning from a hospital stay for eye trouble, told reporters about the 5 Star Movement, “There’s a sect that reminds me of Scientology and that should not even be allowed,” according to a Google-translated news site. Berlusconi appeared to be criticizing the 5 Star Movement’s supposed problems with internal democracy. We don’t know enough about it to judge whether Berlusconi’s criticism is apt, but we found it interesting that when the former prime minister wanted to express just how little he thought of a political party, it was Scientology he chose to compare it to.

 
—————-

Just a couple of fliers for you this week…

BuffaloIdeal

 
Even if you knew that “Non-Existence” is a “condition” in Scientology, that wording is still awfully strange, isn’t it? And here’s one that should inspire you to sign a contract…

KSWFlier

 
—————-

SMERSH Madness: Sowing the Seeds of World Domination!

As we announced on March 1, we’re joining bracket fever with a tournament like no other. It’s up to you to decide who should be named the new SMERSH, the traditional nemesis of Scientology. Cast your vote for who’s doing more to propel the church down its long slide into oblivion!

It’s time to start our second round — the Sweet Sixteen! Now things really start to get tough.

LRHVsDebbie

L. Ron Hubbard is the founder of the feast, the man who captivated readers in 1950 with his “science” that considered the human mind a malfunctioning mainframe computer gripped by demonic possession. He was also the cranky old paranoiac who, hacked off from the hardships of life at sea and tired of running and hiding from federal agents, instilled Scientology with such lovely ideas as brutal interrogations (“sec-checking”), dirty tricks retaliation (“fair game”), and splitting up families to punish defectors (“disconnection”). Still beloved by many who ardently believe he cracked the cosmic code, Hubbard’s unalterable legacy is still very much part of what is dragging Scientology into dangerous waters. (Previously: Hubbard beat out Steve Cannane in the first round by a single vote!)

Debbie Cook’s infamous New Year’s Eve e-mail started off 2012 with a temblor that is still shaking up the Church of Scientology. Nearly every person now leaving the church credits her lengthy indictment of Scientology leader David Miscavige with helping them see the light. (Previously: Debbie defeated John Sweeney in the first round.)

 
Go to our March 1 post for the latest tournament results.

 
——————-

Posted by Tony Ortega on March 17, 2013 at 07:00

 

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  • John P.

    Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane: Utterly brilliant that some writer snuck this one in. Too bad that General Hospital airs during daylight hours so that any staffers who would see this and realize that the world is laughing at them would be faithfully on post doing whatever menial make-work it is that they do and missing out on the reference.

    Turning down the volume: It’s interesting that the cult would actually survey people in an attempt to find out why they aren’t coming to the birthday event. This is obviously desperation on the cult’s part: the loud “wall of sound” volume is a hallmark of the Miscavige speaking style — he’s such a weak orator that he apparently thinks hammering the decibels of his electronically augmented voice is the only way he’ll get his point across. Of course, while they have a special room set up on the second floor to accommodate the oldsters and their hearing aids, I am sure they won’t turn down the volume when the “regs” go to work on the denture-and-hearing-aid crowd.

    It’s also important to note the statistics: Carolyn Holt sent the survey to 150 seniors. That is a far different thing than claiming that she got 150 responses… And I wonder what the other dislikes were. Were “excessive regging” and “not being allowed to leave until I donated” among the choices?

    The second memo is interesting: one can only wonder if management is condensing the “good news” per event into such a short period because there’s increasingly little good news to be had.

    It will be interesting to count the “Q-Tips” among the attendees at this year’s gala event.

    Scientology Dublin: Apparently, the cult doesn’t have enough money to pay the accountants to file their tax returns but they sure do have enough money to pay the lawyers to fight the latest lawsuit.

    Buffalo flyer: Wait, wasn’t Buffalo the first Idle Org, about a decade ago? And didn’t they already have a campaign to renvovate it two or three years ago (after which, apparently, according to some anons that have driven by, it still looks pretty seedy)? Now they have a non-existence campaign to save it? And isn’t “non-existence” the opposite of what they claim is currently a “fully loaded” Buffalo org? Of course, since this is Buffalo that we’re talking about, and since it’s not quite Spring, does “fully loaded” refer to the amount of snow on the roof?

    Join Staff in the Valley Org: Lamest. cult. ad. ever. Just reprint a long passage from the infamous “Keeping Scientology Working” letter, slap a headline over it, and sit back and wait for the job applicants to come bounding through the door. They’re not even putting in the time to come up with their own lame, typo-ridden prose any more. Just throwing a big slug of Hubbardspeak out there and seeing what happens.” Either they’re afraid of their lack of proofreading skills or they’re rushing to make a stat deadline on Thursday.

    Hubbard vs Cook: Hubbard all the way on this match-up. While Debbie dynamited a lot of people loose from the cult as a result of her e-mail, that was only one lonely missive. Sure, the lawsuit was also important. But you have 31 million words, or whatever inflated number Danny (“Mullet Boy”) Sherman came up with for a recent event presentation to mine for crazy with Hubbard. He’s like a Penicillin-resistant strain of gonorrhea, a gift that keeps on giving. We will never run out of bizarre passages from Hubbard’s verbal output, which when unleashed on the public, will make them run, not walk, as far away from Scientology as possible.

    • RMycroft

      The Buffalo Org has been Ideal Orged twice now, both times by David Miscavige.

      You know that sound when you’re trying to start the car, and the starter motor is getting slower and slower as the battery dies? Yeah, that’s the Buffalo Org.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

        Holding a “Nonexistence Campaign” makes it sound like it would take a lot of fighting just to get the Buffalo Org UP to the level of being non-existent.

        • RMycroft

          I can see them celebrating with those foam hands and banner that reads “Now We’re Non-Existent! Yeehah!”

          • sketto

            What do we want? Non-existence!
            When do we want it? Now!

            • http://www.facebook.com/ToryMagoo44 Tory Christman

              It’s funny because for years “Surveying” has been a key to Scientology’s “tech” re finding out things.When Heber Jentzsch had “bad PR” during the Wallersheim trial, they sent me and a few others out w/ photographs of Heber in his Pastel blue Ministers outfit w/ gold embroidered sea Org stuff on it. We were to ask:: “What do you think of when you see this man?” (The majority said “A con man” In one way or another). “What do you think he’d be doing?” True story: “Trying to snag some babes by a pool” “Trying to get all of your money, or sell you s/t you don’t need” Etc. “What ONE thing makes you think that?” Every person pulled it down to the Gold Sea Org patch, saying “He looks like an Avis Rent-a-Car guy” or “A fraternity kid” or a ” Used Car salesman” They changed his “Ministers outfit” over night to all black w/the white collar, and no Sea org shit at all on it. They still lost….and Heber has now been locked up in “The Hole” for many years now. Recently another Ex and I went by the “PASADENA IDEAL ORG” many times and it is D E A D. So I posted about why aren’t they out surveying the public? The next week, they were!~ LOL An SP “helping” them. :) Survey away, Scientology! As I posted many times to “Dave”: You can RUN but you CANNOT HIDE. They’ve done WAY too much damage to their own public. Their empty orgs prove it. If lurking and still “in”: BAIL WHILE U STILL CAN>>>>>>>>>>>I AM NOT KIDDING! Tory/McGooski on St Paddy’s Day! :)

            • Unex Skcus

              Be fun to get one of those surveys, and have the posters at this blog fill them in and mail them to the org. And/or ask Tony to post the survey and the best responses here :)

    • 1subgenius

      Its possible the “too loud” thing is just an excuse for not going.
      Like, “I can’t make it that night, I’ll be cleaning my comb.”

      • http://twitter.com/sandyshores50 Sunny Sands

        Too loud is an actual deal breaker for a lot of seniors, especially if it involves music.

      • http://www.facebook.com/martin.padfield.1 Martin Padfield

        What they’re actually saying is “turn it down to zero” or just make it stop completely. This is as close as it gets to the true blue faithful REALLY saying what they mean. Fact is, even they hate these events. They have to be badgered and cajoled with up to 12 phone calls a DAY sometimes to agree to go, and will even have their names taken so it can be verified they did actually attend. Don’t be fooled into thinking that they are gamely waiting in anticipation of the next event – I don’t know a single public Scientologist who doesn’t have their answerphone permanently on to avoid having to take “call-in” calls from staff.

        • Bob

          Dead on!

    • http://www.facebook.com/bradgreenwood Bradley Greenwood

      Someone please run-up some of these, but PLEASE…PLEASE, make one for a big fatty like me (3XLT). Cafe Press? Zazzle?

      • Trustmeonthis

        Spreadshirt has the best quality I have seen; CafePress the worst.

    • B.B. Broeker

      General Hospital may be aired during the afternoon, but don’t Sea Org drones have DVDs?

      Ha ha. I kid because I love.

      As a Buffalo native, I have to admit that this is the first time I’ve been proud of the decay and collapse of a Buffalo institution. For once, it’s working to our benefit.

      • villagedianne

        Sea Org drones don’t have DVR’s. They don’t even have TV’s.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Damian-DeWitt/100000143081032 Damian DeWitt

      How do I apply for a job as a psychiatrist at the Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane?

      • John P.

        Follow this simple process exactly:

        1. Go to Staples and get a packet of that parchment-style paper used for resumes and award certificates. Also pick up a package of those large paper gold stars that you lick and stick on things.

        2. Use the freebie greeting card program that came with your last PC (or even use Word in a pinch) to make up an official looking degree. Any university you want, including a made up one will do. After all, Hubbard bought a diploma mill just so he could award himself a Ph.D.

        3. Apply the large gold star in the lower right of your new degree to make it look official.

        4. Show up for work.

        Hey, it worked for quite a while for the drug counselor certifications for Narconon staff…

        • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

          JP: You forgot to add “give your staff the answer key to the test” to your list.

          Other than that, why yes, you could pass for an FEBC graduate.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        I wanna be nurse Ratchet!

        • Missionary Kid

          In your new boots. ;-)

        • villagedianne

          I wanna be Nurse Deisel with the steel bra. Very Disturrrrrrrbed!

          • BuryTheNuts2

            Those who are tardy do not get fruit cup!

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          You mean … you’re Not Nurse Ratchet?

          • BuryTheNuts2

            Busted!!!!

            Have Seroquel.
            Will travel.

    • Ze Moo

      The Buffalo CO$ and the southern Ontario CO$ have some kind of agreement to show up at each others shindigs. I suspect it is because there are so few of them for the Cambridge Ontario and Buffalo mOrgs. They bus themselves back and forth across the border for photo ops. The usual delay at the border crossings ranges from 1/2 hour to 2 1/2 hours during peak times. The sequestration budget cuts should increase that. Just think, a total of 5 hours waiting to cross each way just to hear that the Buffalo mOrg wants more money. What a hoot!!

    • Poison Ivy

      Yes, JP – I wonder how many seniors said “I don’t have any money left to give you” on that survey?

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      The Buffalo Ideal Org is doing its Non-Existence campaign not because it does not exist but because it exists and wants the public to know that it exists. Hence, Non-Existence is the condition to apply.

      On the other hand, we in RTC may put the entire Buffalo Ideal Org into Treason for not booming and expanding along with the other 15,901 Ideal Orgs scattered across the 38 continents of Earth including the continent of Canada wherein 1,105 Ideal Orgs exist to deliver Scientology to Canadians in their strange language of “eh”.

      On a final note by way of summarizing, we in RTC hasten to point out that all of the other Orgs are booming except yours. Your Org is not booming because you have hidden crimes to destroy the Scientology religion!

      We demand that you spit out your crimes and make a heroic donation to the IAS In order to make up for the damage you’ve done to the group. Fail to do so and you will spend your next billion years as a rock in the far reaches of distant outer space!

      You have been warned.

  • 1subgenius

    For Pete’s sake:

    • Observer

      Brilliant!

    • BuryTheNuts2

      You crack me up!

      • 1subgenius

        I’ve got a million of ‘em.
        I always wanted to be a stand-up comedian, but I was afraid people would laugh at me.

        • Missionary Kid

          Ah, a kahfkaesque comedian, a la Steven Wright.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

          It isn’t cute, or something to do for lack of something better.

        • BuryTheNuts2

          Not if you tell your friends “Hens teeth” joke.

          • 1subgenius

            Since you are taking notes, you know that wasn’t me who tells that “joke”.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              I know. It was your friend….and it sucked.
              And my head takes notes….I can’t help it.

            • 1subgenius

              mybad

    • http://www.facebook.com/bradgreenwood Bradley Greenwood

      1sub, you are one of the MANY reasons I show up here daily. I appreciate a sharp, dry sense of humor :)

      • 1subgenius

        I feel loved.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          He also has excellent tapes of excellent tapes under his bed.

          • 1subgenius

            ???????????????

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              of excellent tastes..and tapes = videos. I’m so old.

      • sugarplumfairy

        Ditto that..

    • SP ‘Onage

      I fought the Lawl and…the lawl won! xD

    • http://www.facebook.com/kim.obrien.775 Kim O’Brien

      i want this on a t-shirt ! classic .

    • Bella Legosi

      God bless photoshop

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      @1subgenius: We in RTC wish to point out that your shoop is an attack on our religion.

      Please have Mr. J.R. “Bob” Dobbs, the leader of your religion, contact Mr. David Miscavige, the leader of our religion. We think these two great global ecclesiastical leaders can discuss this matter rationally. Alternately, Mr. Miscavige wants to see if he can pay Mr. Dobbs enough money so that Subgenii are forced to do Dianetics as happened in the Nation of Islam.

      Please have Mr. Dobbs suggest an adequate figure. He will also get the standard 10-15% FSM commissions.

      • ParticleMom

        Bob is far too full of slack to even consider responding.

        Praise Bob!

      • Chocolate Velvet

        Never gonna happen, OTVIII. The SubGenius needs Slack. From what I can see, that is something you in the RTC know nothing about.

        Praise “Bob”! Scientologists are just a bunch of pinks who aren’t even smart enough to choose the RIGHT scam religion. That goes double for the SO, and triple for you in the RTC.

        Sorry to be so blunt, OTVIII. But when you are ready to accept “Bob” in your life and discover the true salvation that is Slack, CV will be here to help you escape…

        • FistOfXenu

          “Scientologists are just a bunch of pinks” I offered to to tell them where LRH hid his grays but they just ignore me. How do they expect to follow in his footsteps if they don’t use the same combination of drugs he did?

          • Missionary Kid

            Contact Uncle Duke

        • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

          Church of Scientology to Acquire Smaller Religions in Cult Consolidation

          http://otviiiisgrrr8.com/2013/03/18/church-of-scientology-to-acquire-smaller-religions-in-cult-consolidation/

          • sugarplumfairy

            Are there any smaller religions?

            • http://www.facebook.com/andrewr47 Andrew Robertson

              “Are there any smaller religions?”

              Certainly there are Miss Plum. Take for example my country with almost as many residents as the State of Kentucky. I’ve removed the R6 Implant religions which claim absurdly high numbers of deluded adherants and you will note that whilst long-standing major religions like Rastafarianism and Satanism have many members they lack the rapid expansion of the worlds fastest growing religion, with the number of Scientologists racing up the list below with already 357 parishioners!

              Rastafarianism 1,383
              Uniting/Union Church 1,308
              Satanism 1,167
              Independent Evangelical Churches 1,158
              Religious Society of Friends (Quaker) 1,146
              Russian Orthodox 1,110
              Full Gospel 1,092
              Zoroastrian 1,071
              Nature and Earth Based Religions 774
              Taoism 756
              New Age 666
              Associated Churches of Christ 624
              Hauhau 609
              Nazarene 501
              Unitarian 396
              Church of God 384
              Coptic Orthodox 381
              Hare Krishna 372
              United Pentecostal 369
              Pantheist 366
              Mäori Christian 360
              Church of Scientology 357
              Plymouth Brethren 324
              Fundamentalist 306
              Christian and Missionary Alliance 300
              Yoga 297
              Independent Baptist 291
              Assyrian Orthodox 258
              Worldwide Church of God 255
              Reformed Baptist 255
              Revival Centres 243
              Independent Pentecostal 237
              Christian Science 234
              Serbian Orthodox 228
              Animist 207
              Shinto 195
              Druid 192
              Sufi 177
              Chinese Christian 135
              Mahikari 135
              Bible Baptist 129
              Christian Outreach 123
              Ecumenical 111
              Liberal Catholic 111
              Jainism 111
              Unification Church (Moonist) 105
              Christian Revival Crusade 99
              Chinese Religions 99
              Zen Buddhist 78
              Korean Christian 60
              Metropolitan 54
              Confucianism 48
              Commonwealth Covenant Church 18
              Tenrikyo 12

              Andrew

            • sugarplumfairy

              Wow! Only 111 liberal Catholics? There are more Druids! And Animists? Are those folks who worship Disney?

            • John P.

              It’s interesting that Scientology has more members than the Moonies in your island paradise nation. I wonder how that translates to membership in the Moonies globally. Now that is the only combination weirder than the hookup with the Nation of Islam… Miscavige officiating at mass Scientology marriages, presumably of the thousands of people on the RPF.

            • Jgg2012

              I heard that there are 8,000 Moonies now.

      • Missionary Kid

        Thank goodness, the FSM doesn’t care. I’m a Pastafarian.

      • 1subgenius

        “Church of Subgenius mocks and expands
        Bob’s got a birdcage lined with Avagrams.”

        (Enturbulator 009)
        For you, 25%.

      • sugarplumfairy

        You have a unique and enviable mind..

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      @1subgenius: We in RTC wish to point out that your shoop is an attack on our religion.

      Please have Mr. J.R. “Bob” Dobbs, the leader of your religion, contact Mr. David Miscavige, the leader of our religion. We think these two great global ecclesiastical leaders can discuss this matter rationally. Alternately, Mr. Miscavige wants to see if he can pay Mr. Dobbs enough money so that Subgenii are forced to do Dianetics as happened in the Nation of Islam.

      Please have Mr. Dobbs suggest an adequate figure. He will also get the standard 10-15% FSM commissions.

    • Unex Skcus

      Love it! How do you post a pic in Discus – do you use the html img tags?

    • Unex Skcus

      Love it! How do you post a pic in Discus – do you use the html img tags?

      • 1subgenius

        I use the little icon in the lower left corner of the message box.

        • Unex Skcus

          Duoh! Thanks :)

  • BosonStark

    Maybe there will be a stampede of “millions” of inmates from the Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane, to help with the Buffalo Org’s condition of non-existence? Coinkydink that Miss Webber looks like Debbie Cook?

    • Sidney18511

      Now that you mention it……….she does! Miss Weber does look like Cook!

      • EnthralledObserver

        omg… I so missed that too. Oh, wow, wonder if that was intentional too… hahaha.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Oh the delicious irony of a turncoat Debbie Cook lookalike story-line that involves the “Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane”.
        Clever!

        What is that stomping sound I am hearing?
        It sounds like bitty boots…off in the distance.
        Oh…there it goes again!

  • Freddie Hubbard

    Scientology is a joke!

    • Missionary Kid

      Unfortunately, it’s a dirty joke on everyone it touches.

  • EnthralledObserver

    The creator… again. His creation and his eyebrow raising behavior, which is persistently forwarded to newer generations, whilst exaggerating further and further from the actual TRUTH is doing plenty of damage.
    Hahahahaha… Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane… LOVE IT!!!!! Good one, General Hospital writers… nice.

  • Patty Moher

    Will someone please create a shoop for the Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane!

    • FistOfXenu

      Is this enough to keep you going until somebody does a real one?

      • Patty Moher

        lol love it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/andrewr47 Andrew Robertson

    The slogan ‘Donate to the Buffalo Org Non-Existence Campaign Today’, which for an English speaking degraded being like myself seems a very worthy cause, for a Scientologist would sound like a tacit admission of failure.

    Why is the Org in this condition when it should be booming? Why isn’t the incorrect technology being ‘hammered out of existence’? Who is the Potential Trouble Source?

    Happy birthday Ron!

    Andrew (1.1)

    (In my vernacular ‘fully loaded’ means drunk.)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

      That’s what “fully loaded” means to me also.

  • 1subgenius

    Went with the monster over the Frankenstein who created it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/andrewr47 Andrew Robertson

    It’s interesting how one forms associations when reading a simple phrase like ‘The Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane’ The quote below is from a web page with a collection of photographs of abandoned mental asylums.

    “Perhaps it’s the hollow yet the forbidding facades. Probably it’s the neglected and decaying interiors, riddled with gusty corridors and the relics of their former purpose.”

    Maybe in a few years time there will be a similar page put up with pictures of abandoned Ideal Orgs.

    http://www.environmentalgraffiti.com/featured/most-incredible-abandoned-mental-asylums/19808?image=0

    Andrew

    • John P.

      There already is such a site, even though the Idle Orgs haven’t been abandoned and collapsed into moss-covered ruin. It’s: http://idleorgs.com/.

  • Johan

    I don’t know what the ‘condition’ of non-existence means in scientology, but donating for Buffalo’s non-existence sounds like something I would give money for.
    The Miscavage Hospital for the Criminally insane – yes those lawyers & executives weren’t concentrating – nice one! I’m sure by now they have a legal response ready: ” of course it doesn’t refer to Mr David Miscavage, there are other people named Miscavage!”
    L Ron. The gift that keeps on giving.

    • FistOfXenu

      Maybe ABC’s letting this go deliberately. If they come out from behind the couch and do it in the news they’re taking a stand against $cientarCONon. If one of their soap operas does it, they can claim “it’s just fiction and nobody takes soaps seriously”.
      Plausible deniability.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

        It’s a metaphor!

      • Johan

        Oh, and its scientology’s favorite kind of deniabilityness!

      • Poison Ivy

        I’m pretty sure it just slipped by Standards and Practices. I’ll bet someone is in trouble. But it’s too late now, hee hee!

  • VickiStubing

    Firstly (has Tashania word checked that?), who knew some good would actually come from a soap opera? On ABC, even!
    And I was hoping we’d hear something from Pete today. He’s my favorite leprechaun! Erin go bragh.

    • FistOfXenu

      I’m pretty sure that leprechaun is taller than DM. Hey DM how does it feel to look up to a leprechaun? And have fewer people that believe in you than a leprechaun?

  • PeggyToo

    I want a T-shirt too!!! ;-)

  • Observer

    I once again had to go with the Source, Mankind’s Greatest Friend.

    Scientology is the crazy, creepy, cheesy, thrown-together Winchester Mystery House of a “religion” that LRH was always building but never finished. Debbie’s email was a fire in one of its multiple kitchens. LRH’s drivel is the shoddy construction that will cause the house to collapse on itself. And Little Davey is the termite queen whose infestation is hastening the collapse. They’re all working together, but it’s the unsound structure that will be the cause of its ultimate demise.

    If Buffalo is being transformed, why is its Idle Morgue in a condition of non-existence?

    So that quote on the staff flyer is supposed to inspire people to join? It certainly inspires me … with a burning desire to set aside my non-violent ways and punch LRH square in his bloviating face. How could anyone stand being in the presence of that old blowhard, let alone revere him? Oh, right, the mind control …

    • Missionary Kid

      In Christianity, there is the parable of two houses, one built on a foundation of sand, the other built on a foundation of rock.

      It is the very foundation of sand (lies and falsehoods) that LRH built Co$ on that is causing it to collapse.

      • sugarplumfairy

        amen..

      • RMycroft

        You typed sand, but I think you probably meant sinkhole?
        http://i.i.com.com/cnwk.1d/i/tim//2010/06/01/es_0601_SINKHOLE_480x360.jpg

        • Missionary Kid

          I was just trying to be consistent, but your word works better! The word ass could also be substituted for sink.

        • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

          A sinkhole where once an Ideal Org stood.

          The Marcabs have landed!

    • sketto

      Davey Miscavige, The Termite Queen.

      Awesome!

  • RMycroft

    Soap opera takes on space opera.

    • FistOfXenu

      You beat me to it. It’s just too good isn’t it? Soap opera hospitalizes space opera. Miscavige put in charge of the nut house. Just writes itself doesn’t it?

  • BuryTheNuts2

    David Miscavige being mocked by a soap opera!
    Genius!!!

  • FistOfXenu

    “Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane”! Brilliant! I see posters and picket signs and fake inmate clothing and t-shirts and all kind of things using that.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      I was hoping you were going to do this one!

      • FistOfXenu

        Happy not to disappoint you.

    • Schockenawd

      The t-shirt should have an arrow on the front that points to the right and says “I’m with fing nuts” (ala the e-mail John Sweeney describes in his book, which Miscavige seems to have sent to Rinder when they were chasing Sweeney across the country. In classic Miscavige style, the e-mail demanded to know if Rinder was fucking nuts but used the clever abbreviation “fing” as in, effing). Or how about, “my mom survived the Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane, and all I got was this stupid t-shirt.”

      But why stop at t-shirts? There’s a whole cottage industry here for the entrepreneur who seizes the day. Refrigerator magnets, bookmarks, mouse pads, the list is endless. Especially if part of the proceeds were going to a fund for victims of Narconon, I would pay five bucks for a bumper sticker that said, “my child was inmate of the month at the Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane.”

      • mirele

        “My cat was inmate of the month at the Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane.”

        • BuryTheNuts2

          Well, now we know what Clearwater can do with the SP building when Scientology finally implodes.

          • The Dark Avenger

            “David Miscavige declared me a SP, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.”

        • mirele

          “My cat was therapy animal of the month at the Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane.”

          • FistOfXenu

            My cat was auditor of the month at the Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane

            • BuryTheNuts2

              My cat is dead.

            • FistOfXenu

              That’s sad. Was it NarCONon or babywatch?

            • BuryTheNuts2

              NarCONon.
              Yeah, she meowed and growled at a few ash trays.
              She didn’t like that much, but thought the sauna was nice.
              But in the end…she just could not give up the Cat Nip.
              And who knew that the nip and niacin are contraindicated?

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              Missed ‘ya! hah catnip

          • sketto

            My cat is a MEST genius and can put thoughts in my head. Just today, without saying a word, she made me think, “I should feed the cat.”

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

            “I salute my cat”

            • BuryTheNuts2

              FTW ^^^

        • Missionary Kid

          My cat writes as well as any $cientologist.

          • FistOfXenu

            My cat body-routes as well as any $cientologist.

            • Missionary Kid

              My cat is a $cinetologist. I am her slave.

          • Bob

            Oh yeah! well my Scientologists eat as much free food as my ivy rats.

            • Missionary Kid

              I’d say you probably live in California. Ivy rats are common here, and they get BIG.

            • Bob

              I do live somewhere between Vancouver and baja Mexico.

            • Missionary Kid

              I understand your reluctance to divulge any information. I shouldn’t have made the suggestion.

            • Bob

              Thanks. But I have made other comments that also place me in a general area.

        • http://www.facebook.com/kim.obrien.775 Kim O’Brien

          My cat went to the Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane and all i got was this lousy t-shirt

        • Sherbet

          My cat knows where Shelley is, but she’s not telling.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            Bring me that cat Sherbet….I have a dremel tool with dental attachments!
            I will make her sing Shelly’s address backwards and in French!

            As a bonus, she will have a nice white tartar free kitty smile when I am done.

            • RMycroft

              Is it safe?

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              Is WHAT safe?

              Oooohhh, my teeth hurt just thinking about it.

            • Sherbet

              Whoa. Let me edit my post, Nutsy: DM knows where Shelly is, but he’s not telling.

              Now you can bring on the dremel!

            • BuryTheNuts2

              “Nutsy”?

              Hmmm….(thinking here)

              That is a relatively astute assessment!
              I like it!

        • Missionary Kid

          My cat is xenu.

      • Poison Ivy

        Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane: Where YSCOHB

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Thank you, Was hoping for this. And it is appropos. Big Blue was formerly a hospital.

      • Missy Wog

        Yes it was! And it is the hospital I was born in!!!! May 1974..true story!

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Missy! I cleaned up after your poop then! EPF and RPF reno’s. You owe me something.
          I want a Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane tshirt when they come out. okay, thanks.

    • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

      We in RTC are outraged that General Hospital engaged in criminal Joking & Degrading to smear the good name of COB RTC David Miscavige. Once again, our religion and its leader are being attacked by the Psychs who control television.

      Just to be clear on this matter, the Church of Scientology is not the “Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane” nor is it a madhouse or a lunatic asylum. We in Scientology are the sanest and most elite group on the planet. This video will make it all quite clear:

      http://youtu.be/Q8phlTMM5ZI

      • Ze Moo

        “The sentient part of the human mind is incapable of error.” Humans are not computers with storage in 0′s and 1′s. Crazy people are crazy for a number of reasons, not because their calculator keys are stuck.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIlKiRPSNGA

        • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

          @ZeMoo, yes, you have duplicated that part of Dianetics and are now ready for the Comm course.

          Please see the reg.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Is Ken Delusion going on a press tour to clean this mess up?
        Is he coming to a city near me?
        Can I have his phone number?

        I think I want to stalk him.

        • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

          BTN, we in RTC are happy to hear that you made it safely back to land after the cruise ship fiasco. We encourage you to spend your Carnival refund on the OT Prosperity Conference aboard The Freewinds.

          The Freewinds is the safest ship operating on the planet and has never had so much as a toilet overflow or an unhappy customer.

          On the matter of the General Hospital attack upon Mr. Miscavige, after OSA completes its thorough investigation of the matter and consults with our fancy wog attorneys, we in RTC may elect to sue General Hospital for one hundred and ninety trillion dollars. We will also leaflet the neighborhoods of everyone who works on the show with flyers accusing them of being religious bigots and haters.

          We will have Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion issue a statement on the unprecented General Hospital attack shortly.

          Stay tuned and keep your radio dialed to KRTC.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            KRTC!
            Snort.

          • aquaclara

            20 Up Buttons to you!

  • FistOfXenu

    Inviting people to ask for seats in the low volume section? Is that gonna be like when somebody stops their “spontaneous” standing ovation for Kim Jong-un too soon in North Korea? Are those poor people signing up for punishment?

    • Missionary Kid

      Perfect. Yesterday, I compared the management styles of LRH and DM to Hitler and Stalin, and some people objected, probably because the latter two killed millions and took over countries. The dictator in North Korea is a much better subject for a role comparison. People there have been regged for not crying hard enough when the last dictator died.

      • http://www.facebook.com/kim.obrien.775 Kim O’Brien

        face palm

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      I was thinking the Fire Marshalls should be alerted for overcrowding in the balcony. Once word gets out, all sheeple will develop sensitive ears and head for the stairs.

      And lets not forget what New Era Seniors is all about. They’re the ones marked for new body shopping at the hospital (as soon as they reassign the Trustee to their Last Will). Wonder if the Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane is their next stop?

    • mirele

      The low volume section is where they turn down the noise on Davey but turn up the noise on the reges.

  • Ze Moo

    Oh the lutz and sturm and drang of the “Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane”. Their tshirts should say “MIscavige gave me the Lisa McPherson treatment all I got was a bill for 10k and this lousy tshirt”.

    Debbie Cook all the way. Any one who caught on to the bull shit of Lron left a long time ago, Debbie got them out of their seats and out the door.

    The Buffalo mOrg is just a few blocks from the Anchor Bar (home of Buffalo Wings), why anyone would travel past the Anchor Bar to be ‘regged’ for more money to fight ‘non-existence’ should be an inmate at the Miscavige Hospital for The Criminally Insane. There are several hospitals near the mOrg, they should have a few psychiatric beds at them.

  • http://twitter.com/sandyshores50 Sunny Sands

    The Buffalo poster says they want to drive in millions! (of dollars, of course).
    The pic of the inside of the Buffalo org is so creepy, with the fake cross in the front and the bust of LRH staring at everyone.

  • http://twitter.com/sandyshores50 Sunny Sands

    General Hospital writer to his bosses on Monday: “I just picked the name Miscavige out of thin air, I didn’t mean anything by it”.
    Bosses: “There are only 31 Miscaviges listed in the entire U.S. white pages”.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      I think we finally figured out what OTVIIIisgrrr8′s day job is!

      • sugarplumfairy

        Lol.. and this is why we missed you..

      • Poison Ivy

        Yes! Oh, and Bury, we want to hear your Carnival horror story!

        • BuryTheNuts2

          Haha!
          I don’t have one.
          It was the most awesome way to get a partial refund and a half price cruise ever!

      • OTVIIIisGrrr8!

        We in RTC deny everything.

        We were not behind this criminal J&D on the ecclesiastical leader of the Scientology religion

    • Dean Fox

      To be fair to the writers if you’ve ever seen how Derren Brown manipulates advertising agents in to coming up with exactly the advertising campaign he predicts then you’ll know it’s also likely the product of subliminal suggestion (unintentional of course).

  • wannabeclear

    It took an entire YEAR to compile the results of a survey of 150 people? That is possibly the best example of $cientology Administrative Tech at work that I’ve ever seen. KSW! What a joke.

    • CudgelClever

      Adding one and one (there were two responses turned in) can be difficult to one educated under the Hubbard system…

      • http://www.facebook.com/george.layton.756 George Layton

        they did have to make clay models first.

    • Mrs. V.

      I thought the same thing. Of course, we have to keep in mind that these are people who work way too much for way too little pay and get only short naps in between shifts, so I imagine that they had a lot more work to do before they were actually able to spend time on the results.

  • Davka

    So I haven’t watched GH on a regular basis in years, but Heather Webber is a long time recurring character who is NUTS. It’s also a wink to GH fans to put Heather in a place worse than Ferncliff (and I did have to watch it a couple of times to absorb that I really was hearing “Miscavige”). Sly reference – ABC probably isn’t even paying attention to its soaps given their decline, but I wonder if they will pay a little more attention to the scripts now! Also, I think those pages and pages of dialogue are churned out so quickly it was probably not even picked up on by anyone before filming.

    • Poison Ivy

      They have to run all scripts and shows through Standards and Practices but you’re right, Soap Scripts are coming fast and furious so they have to be turned around very quickly. Obviously too quickly in this case! And you are also correct about networks putting less attention on vetting their daytime scripts than their prime time. Someone is going to be in trouble, I think…wish I were a fly on the wall to hear the fallout! (But again, I think they are within their legal rights because they did not name a character after Miscavige.)

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        If anyone Does get in trouble for this, PI, I’m thinking the Tom Cruise viral video will be overshadowed in how viral this could go.

        • Missionary Kid

          I humbly disagree. Most people know who TC is in the rest of the world, few know or care who DM or even LRH are. Why do you think they’re able to get new recruits?

  • 10oriocookies

    Yes, ABC is lily-livered. I tend to use word “pussies” when referring to them. I’m very interested in who they could have gotten to come on the show about Narconon.

  • Missionary Kid

    Is it just me, but doesn’t the Buffalo campaign sound like an old fashioned revival meeting? Elmer Gantry, here we come.

  • mirele

    Thumbs up to the writers at General Hospital for “Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane”! I got a fabulous belly laugh this morning.

  • Missionary Kid

    The writers at GH can always point out that hospitals are named for exemplary people. They’re in the clear.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pcockerell Peter Cockerell

      I’m sure at then end of the credits GH has the usual “Any similarity to any person living or dead…” disclaimer. Yay plausible deniability!

      • Missionary Kid

        We got the joke, and that’s an important part of subversive humor.

        • Poison Ivy

          If they had named a character Miscavige, they might’ve been in trouble. But I think they skirted the problem by just naming the hospital.

          • Missionary Kid

            Yup. It warms my heart, ’cause there ain’t nothin’ they can do. It also is one more thing to enturbulate their butts. There’s nothing like humor to take down an arrogant, powerful, evil empire.

            • Poison Ivy

              Too bad they don’t have a sense of humor about themselves!

            • Missionary Kid

              Well, you know what they can do if they can’t take a joke…

  • Missionary Kid

    Does anyone else see the similarities between Co$ and the Cyril Kornbluth story, “The Marching Morons,” written half a century ago?

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    [IMG]http://i49.tinypic.com/15wif6q.jpg[/IMG]

    • FistOfXenu

      Nice one, THDNE. That would make a cool deck of cards.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        tks. fast job while under the hairdryer at salon with Real tin foil to zap grey hairs. waiting for the true masters to do their finest with the shoops. I want tshirts, pins, hats, and a memed float in the Hollywood Xmas parade with Grand Marshall being the ABC soap writer as the chosen one.

        • Poison Ivy

          I wish I knew photo shop! It’s a definite handicap, not knowing it (especially here!)

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            There are Anons who are truly masters. I have no doubt people like FreakE will take this to the levels it deserves. They just make fun of me over there, but hey, I’m ancient in their world and there are brilliant artists over there that have a future if they want it.

  • HeatherGraceful

    “Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane” – I haven’t laughed that loudly in ages. Right now there’s a writer in Hollywood who deserves an award.

    • RMycroft

      If only DC Comics would add it to their universe as the place that they send the hard cases that don’t fit in at the Arkham Asylum…

  • Still_On_Your_Side

    Miscavige’s ignorance has no cellar. Having the volume set so high is not only uncomfortable, it is a health risk. Many studies have confirmed that it can lead to hearing loss in teens and adults, and I am sure a baby’s delicate system could be damaged by three hours of exposure to very loud noise. Miscavige clearly is not concerned about members’ health, his only concern is that people have the ability to reach their wallets. By the way, wouldn’t seniors and mothers be worried about Sec Checks after criticizing the events? After all, criticising volume is a criticism of the CoS and Miscavige.

    • Mrs. V.

      But if they lose their hearing, doesn’t that just mean that they need more auditing? Clears and OTs shouldn’t be suffering hearing loss….

      • grundoon

        - I WILL RE-SHOUT THE AUDITING QUESTION!!
        - Eh?

    • sketto

      Yes, Miscavige’s ignorance has no cellar, but it’s got lots and lots of drywall!

      • Observer

        Needs more doorknobs though.

        • FistOfXenu

          And cowbell.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/VictoriaPandora Victoria Pandora

    The deal with buffalo is they have to send a bunch of staff to flag for training, cha Ching. That’s why they need the money to come out of non-e. In my neck of the woods, fully loaded means its your turn to change the baby;)

  • TheHoleDoesNotExist

    The Desperation DefCon Levels must be at max. The Buffalo Org promo is further evidence that Miscavige has dropped the scientology brand altogether and concentrating on the near zero expense golden geesers like IAS donations, library campaigns, books, Super Power. Now besides his customers paying for his real estate, and then having to pay for it’s renovations, then furnishings, then paying rent, utilities and taxes, now he is making them pay for marketing expenses as well?

    Speaking of signs of Desperado, this thread that popped up on ESMB made me all warm and fuzzy inside. One of the con games is getting staff at outer orgs demanded by Flag or upper orgs to arrive for training. However, the staff rarely make it, are encumbered for years instead of months, and if the lower org doesn’t pay room and board, Flag gets to use them for slave labor (RPF not enough?). Who knew: the individual staff member is somehow (not legally, surely?) responsible if their org won’t pay for the training. How many orgs are solvent? Well it seems that there’s now a big push to unload these debts to the individuals because the orgs can’t. $50,000 – $100,000 seems to be a common amount.

    “Flag is sending out e-mails and letters to ex staffers – ones still in “good graces” – demanding that the ex staffers pay their free loader debt and that they are responsible for their Class 5 Org to pay the debt! I heard that the Class 5 Orgs owes millions to Flag and are not paying!”
    http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?30916-Flag-is-de-parate-pay-your-free-loader-debt-you-are-re-pon-ible!!

  • aquaclara

    An excellent Saint Patrick’s Day blog today! Tony, to steal the only useful part of Tashania’s hyperbolic blarney, you have done an AMAZING job of condensing as much good news into such a short period for us–COMMENDABLE!….
    I love Marc’s story of the truth behind the ear-piercing volume at the events. The recap immediately connects the complaints about the hard seats (and proximity to restrooms) to excessive bloviating by DM. There is a reason why movie run-times are at 2 hours or less.
    Pete Griffiths is terrific, hat and all! I’d love to hear more about what he’s learned over the past several years.
    Hmmm, who has more members right now? Buffalo or all of Ireland?
    *and Debbie Cook for the win. Ron’s worthless books could have collected dust on the shelves, but for the activism of Debbie and the rest of the Flaggers. Then to shout out the error of her ways to all the faithful…ha, that is simply excellent.

    • Poison Ivy

      I love Marc Headley’s behind the scenes of behind the scenes details. I can’t get enough of them. Even in his book there weren’t enough of them!

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        I kind of “blocked” out his statement above on some buried trauma level. Anyone who’s had to deal with sound, everyone from performers to sound men and including audiences, knows that Chinese water torture is Nothing compared to being confined for hours in a cavernous auditorium with sound waves bouncing off the walls and ceilings and floors directly into your eardrums.

        There are certain sound men, as well as drummers, who I cannot bring myself to forgive this lifetime, and I don’t believe anymore in “other” lifetimes.

        Marc Headley must be holding back on the true nature and levels of the torture he went through in dealing with The Miscavige. I feel for him and his prison mates and hope his story will one day be told in all its hideous and ear torture volumeness!

  • Sherbet

    I don’t know about the seniors’ complaints about volume. The elders I know, including my mother, always want MORE volume (up to 11…), so they can hear the spoken words on TV. I think the seniors are really saying: “Get rid of that loud crazy music altogether! Also, the event is too doggone long, and the bathrooms are too far away!” They may even be saying, “And I’m tired of hearing how much more money the church needs from me.”

    • FistOfXenu

      How about “Please just make that spoiled little boy stop hollering at us”

      • 1subgenius

        And get off of my lawn!

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Yeah, I woke up this morning, babe, and I saw both cars were gone
          (DahDAHda-dah)
          I felt so lowdown deep inside…
          I threw my drink across the lawn.”

          Martin Mull – “Suburban Blues” (around 1973)

          • RMycroft

            I came home today And both our cars were gone. And there were all these
            new pink Flamingoes arranged in star patterns All over the lawn. Then I
            went into the kitchen And it looked like a tornado had hit. And then I
            realized I was in the wrong House.

            Talk Normal – Laurie Anderson

          • 1subgenius

            Oh shit.
            I saw Martin Mull (and his Fabulous Furniture) open for the Pointer Sisters.
            The guy sitting in front of me was flossing his teeth. (Was that you?)

            Trufax.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Senior citizens are wise guys. They get to tune out the Bloviator, comfy chairs, have access to escape backstairs. And if the reg catches up, they can just cup their trembling hand to one ear, put on a devilish smile and shout, “What’s that, sonny boy….you want Whore Honey?! You betcha! Come a little bit closer, Closer, you my kinda man!”

      • Sherbet

        Aha! You’ve figured out those wily codgers!

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          I AM a wily codger. lol. Moar Money = Whore Honey for you young things.

    • Poison Ivy

      Please, who in their right mind who make a bunch of seniors sit on their asses for 3 hours, listening to DM drone on and on and on? Maybe DM has stock in Depends, but still….

  • http://www.facebook.com/phil.mckraken.58726 Phil McKraken

    Dear Carolyn Holt, Why did it take you a year to tabulate 150 survey responses? Assuming there weren’t 100 questions on that survey (were there?!?!), that sounds like something that should take about a day. What on Earth have you been spending your time on?

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Thank you, Phil!
      Carolyn really needs to work on her organizational and time management skills!

      • FistOfXenu

        She’s got so many down-stats she’s probably spending her time getting off lower conditions.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Originally it was 12 million surveys, but she had to run them all by Jo Jo Wawabi first (ly).

  • SP ‘Onage

    DM in a straight jacket feeling lonely at Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane.

    http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=XCUlc_CqebE

    At work. Had to use mobil link.

  • http://www.facebook.com/michael.tilse Michael Leonard Tilse

    I voted for Debbie Cook. She did something that L. Ron Hubbard never had the integrity nor the courage to do: Testify under oath in a court of law.

  • pronoia

    Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Had to type the whole thing out in all its delicious irony.

    I think it could also be a nod to former cast member Nazanin Boniadi and perhaps a hint the her character is to be resurrected?

    • FistOfXenu

      I usually find it’s easier just to to type out “OSA”.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      perfect. can we have a write in campaign?

    • aquaclara

      HA! brilliant connection. just love even the possibility of this.

    • sketto

      I think Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane is gonna have to be the name of my baseball fantasy team this year.

      • Ze Moo

        I call dibs for my bowling team!!!

    • 1subgenius

      I just googled and saw the connection.
      Very possibly revenge. I do not think this is coincidence.
      And this would be considered a dish served cold, so all the sweeter.

  • PrivateDancer

    Re General Hospital: Is this a case of Naz Boniadi’s former colleagues taking revenge?

  • Bob

    I think David MHFTCI is obsessed with youth and has the very typical crass and trailer park mentality that loud, fast and flashy creates intense emotion for the crowd. He probably liked the Mosh pits when they were popular. Since almost all the staff must attend and most of them are young he gets them whipped up into a frenzy.
    David is the ultimate in tasteless. If there were not a few somewhat talented directors working for gold the videos would be just as bad as the events.
    Actual aesthetics and quality presentation are unheard of at almost all events these days. The idea of performing a ballad with real emotion is unheard of as entertainment.
    Long ago I stopped going to events because of the sound issue. You do not have to be old to dislike this bombardment of bombastic BS. So now the solution is to sequester the oldsters with the babies. That’s good because when the cameras scan the crowds you will only see the young and beautiful.

    I think a good title for a documentary on the church should be:

    CLUELESS, CLOISTERED AND CRIMINAL – The Bridge To Total Dumbness

    • 1subgenius

      Like, except for the mosh pit reference.
      No way he was ever near one.

      • Observer

        He’d have been squashed like a bug.

    • Poison Ivy

      He’s much like a wealthy mafia don who came from the streets – has all the trappings of “class” but really has no idea what it is. Money can’t buy it, Davey. And money can’t buy you the education you skipped, either.

      • RMycroft

        He doesn’t even have street smarts. He’s been living in a bubble of wealth and cult since the 80s. Do you think that he’s ever gone down to the local bar, had a pizza and a few brews while watching the game? (Without a bodyguard or three.)

      • Bob

        Exactly right! Good analogy.

    • Missionary Kid

      I doubt he ever even contemplated a nosh pit, since he grew up in the cult. Maybe he’s trying to relive a childhood and adolescence that never existed.

      Davie boy was involved with the incredibly bad movie that was being made in a studio close to La Quinta, CA years before that LRH had ordered. It was supposedly going to revolutionize the world, which greeted the output of the studio with a yawn. Online, you can read more about this in Baldfaced Messiah, among other sources, which is available at http://www.xenu.net/archive/books/bfm/bfm21.htm

      Since McCabbage has no one to tell him when he’s screwing up, he keeps screwing up, then blaming others for any failures.

      • villagedianne

        “I doubt he ever even contemplated a nosh pit”. A nosh pit? I didn’t know David Miscavige had a Jewish mother! I can just imagine her saying, “Finish your food, wogs in China are starving.” Or “Eat up! You don’t want to stunt your growth!”

        • RMycroft

          He does have his own personal chef in his entourage, who feeds him custom meals every few hours. Somehow I doubt the serving format includes a pit, but you never know.

        • Missionary Kid

          Oops, a slip of the keyboard.

      • Bob

        Yes, I guess I was giving the tiny tOT to much credit with the Mosh pit.
        I will check out the link. I think LRH could recognize good quality in movies but he did not have the skill or talent around him to make anything close to decent quality.

        • Missionary Kid

          I checked the Wikipedia bio for DM, and it said, “In 1977,Miscavige worked directly under L. Ron Hubbard as a cameraman for Scientology training films, in La Quinta, California.” He was 17 years old.

          All of his late teenage years and all his adult life have been in Co$. He hasn’t had a chance to develop tastes other than what he was exposed to in the church, that is, those of LRH.

          Read the comments on his control of the volume and sound quality he insists on, and you’ll see that everything is based upon his own, quirky, tastes.

          • Bob

            Makes sense now. DM has what is called COPY CLASS. He would not know real class if it walked up to him and bit him on his teeny, tiny penis. That’s why for him bigger and louder is always better.

  • Bob

    Oh, one more thing. There is a standing ovation for almost anything that is mentioned by DM. It gets absolutely ridiculousness. If it is mentioned that there is now 10x amount of toilet paper in every org bathroom. WE MUST STAND. If 100,000 more feet of parking was added to the ideal orgs, WE MUST STAND, if COB is able to complete three paragraphs of bombast in one breath WE MUST STAND. Anyone looking at this from the outside would think they were back in Germany 1935 at a brown shirts rally.

    • RMycroft

      If there’s no toilet paper as commonly reported, I’m thinking that it’s more likely a brown shorts rally.

      • Trustmeonthis

        *snort*

      • Bob

        :-) very funny.

    • Missionary Kid

      That’s almost as bad as North Korea, where mourners were punished for not showing the proper amount of grief at the funeral of the last leader, Kim Jong-il.

      • Bob

        When I don’t stand up every time I feel like some big bruisers in blue are going to forcibly make me stand.

        • Missionary Kid

          That’s a great example of the type of brainwashing you’ve endured. It’s not a matter of wanting to stand up, but not only feeling that you must conform, but that if you don’t, some malevolent force will make you.

          Co$, as a cult, is geared towards resisting the examination of one’s own feelings. Cults tell you how you should feel, and imply that if you don’t feel that way, that there’s something wrong with you, so you need some more of what they give out. In some, it’s prayer and fasting, or listening to the talks given by it’s spiritual master, and in Co$, it’s auditing, which is a search for weaknesses so the follower can be manipulated to conform.

          I hope you’re able to leave so you never have to feel you have to stand or sit at someone else’s bidding.

          • Bob

            I appreciate your support. And your analysis is pretty close to what I have observed.

            Even the brightest bulbs
            do go dim
            when exposed to the lies
            that do them in.
            I enjoy being on the inside,
            with an outside point of view
            Cause I can now see the scams
            And I know what’s true.
            Destroying from within
            Is slow and steady,
            It can be scary,
            But also pretty heady.
            With help from indies,
            Watchers and Tony,
            We get the skinny,
            Not the baloney!

            • BuryTheNuts2

              Go Bob!

            • Missionary Kid

              It sounds as if something is still holding you in. If it’s kin and friends, you’re in for a rough ride.

              In my way of thinking, the “Indies” are only half-way points on the journey. They haven’t faced up to the fact that while there may be some value in auditing (which, by the way, if a patient has the right “psych” is far better and definitely less costly), that the underlying “tech” is, at its core, evil and corrupt, because there’s no honesty, only “honesty” as they define it – loyalty to Co$.

              I wish you peace in your journey.

            • Bob

              Most definitely. In earlier posts I explained my position without revealing info that would be telling. I have loyalty to the truth as I see it, not an organization or any one man. I appreciate all the support from everyone on this blog and the differing opinions as well. IMHO everything is timing. I serve a purpose where I am right now and that seems to be working for everyone.

            • Missionary Kid

              Indeed. The truth will set you free. That doesn’t mean that it’s cost free. My your timing be perfect!

            • Bob

              Thanks. My life is much better since my soul is no longer trapped in the stainless steel box of dogma.

            • Missionary Kid

              I’ve never been in Co$, but I escaped the dogma of fundamentalist Christianity, and that’s made me suspicious of any organization that is insistent on strict adherence to dogma, coupled with a very narrow world view, as if there were no other.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pcockerell Peter Cockerell

    I just did a Google search (miscavige -david -jenna -shelly) to try to see how many other Miscaviges there are, but it STILL came out with references to lil Davey because the co$ sites refer to him as “Mr. Miscavige”. On one page was this astonishing claim:

    “At the end of 2009, Mr. Miscavige announced the achievement of the massive 25-year program that he personally initiated and drove through to completion to recover all Scripture, much of it originally recorded on now-archaic audio recording mediums including wax discs…”

    Wax discs??? Just how far back does scieno’s “scripture” go? (It was on the anti-Lawrence Wright book page. I won’t paste the URL here because I don’t want to do anything that might help its Google ranking.)

  • villagedianne

    On her “Abuses at Int Base” thread on OCMB, Karen de la Carriere has featured Mark Fisher’s Sea Org story and subsequent escape,. It’s a very good story. In the link below, Fisher echoes Headley’s assertion regarding Miscavige’s obsession with “audio quality”. Miscavige’s treatment of Fisher on this issue alone led to Fisher’s first escape! Here is the link, scroll down for Mark Fisher’s story:

    http://ocmb.xenu.net/ocmb/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=41348&start=2160

  • SS

    Ha, that soap reference to Dave is great. Since the media floodgates have opened on the “church’s” evils (at least in comparison to the past), we’ll probably continue to see manifestations such as this of the sheer outrage people feel as more and more become informed. There’s at least one General Hospital writer sitting there appalled at what the “church” is being allowed to get away with and throwing this humorous jab at Miscavige is how this person is able to protest within his/her sphere of influence.

    And even though I’m sure the dB levels are way above comfort at these events, and Miscavige insisting that his voice be blared louder than a rock concert is consistent with everything we know about the crazy asshole, I bet that when complaining of event volume in the surveys, at least some of the seniors were bitching about the NUMBER of events forced upon them each year. Of course Carolyn and Tashania couldn’t afford to interpret the answers this way, since complaining about the events themselves is far more counter-intentioned than saying COB’s mic is too hot.

    • grundoon

      Those not happy about the number of events were referred to Ethics and dropped from the survey. That’s why it took so long to get 150 usable responses.

  • MissCandle

    Except for the X’d-out cross, the Buffalo org looks just like the worship auditorium of a conservative christian church imo.

    • 1subgenius

      Ah, that crossed-out cross.
      Not too obviously satanic.

      • Missionary Kid

        I’d say it was anti-Christ.

        • RMycroft

          Hubbard said that there was no Christ. It’s just a piece of the R6 implant.

          • Missionary Kid

            Then the symbol fits. That needs to be publicized among all the Christian churches that have allied themselves with Co$ in some of their front groups.

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              Randy Sly of “Catholic Online” has been a stalwart source, as well as others in the christian realm. Anyone rising from the pulpit to praise the Hubbard gets info soon enough to see the light and fall down on his/her robes and beg for retraction.

            • Missionary Kid

              Thanks for the info. I’m passing on the info on this end.

            • Poison Ivy

              Scientology has slyly involved other religions in their “freedom of religion” campaigns. The trick is to get the other religions to see Scientology as a) a scam and b) more satanic than Judeo-Christian in its philosophy….

            • stillgrace

              Exactly which Christian churches have “allied themselves with Co$ in some of their front groups”?

            • Missionary Kid

              It’s not any specific, but early on, by raising the flag of “religious persecution” $cientology manged to snake some of them in. Remember, there’s a lot of independent, small churches that feel persecuted, and Co$ does everything to make themselves seem legitimate.

              The more that they know about Co$, the better it is. They can also educate their flock.

            • stillgrace

              Any dox on these broad strokes? Just curious, it’s a little vague for me to swallow.

            • Missionary Kid
            • stillgrace

              Thanks for providing links. I am familiar with these. I still am not aware of any Christian churches that align themselves with scientology or any of their front groups. Since you made that statement as if it was a fact, I would like example(s).

              (I don’t disagree with the prudence of warning any and all persons and/ or organizations about the evils of Co$, I just like facts, and would like substantiation for your statement: ” all the Christian churches that have allied themselves with Co$ in some of their front groups.”)

            • Missionary Kid

              I’m busted. I overreached, probably because I’m paranoid about Co$, and I’ve seen a lot of weirdness come out of tiny storefront churches, and I’ve read Co$ publicity releases that try to put them in the same level as an actual church.

              You were right to question me. It caused me to question my own assumptions.

            • stillgrace

              No problem. I know your heart is in the right place. I think you are right to be paranoid about Co$. It’s a pretty safe bet that Co$ is always worse than you think.

              I read a great thread in WWP in the early days of Anonymous that stressed the importance of getting the facts straight when confronting Co$’s abuses. I’ve been a believer in facts ever since. LOL. It was the first time I ever saw the acronym stfu, I laugh now because I had to go look it up. That’s one of Anonymous’s battle cries: DOX or STFU! (I’m NOT saying that to you.) Without dox, WWP will tear a commenter limb from limb.

            • Missionary Kid

              I usually try to make sure that I have my facts straight, and I appreciate your calling me on my overstatement.

              On other subjects, I’m usually VERY careful to make sure I have back up. Please do continue to call me on any loose language or BS.

              I’ve been lied to too many times by people shading the truth or omitting any contrary facts, or just omitting facts, so I don’t tolerate it in others. I’m not confrontational, but I usually use people’s own logic against them.

          • Poison Ivy

            He also said that Jesus (hmmmm if there was no Christ, does he just mean Jesus the long-haired carpenter dude?) was not OT, but only ‘a shade above clear’.

            • Sherbet

              lrh didn’t mind usurping the Christian cross so as to proclaim to any sceptics: “See? We’re a church! We have a cross and everything!”

            • FistOfXenu

              You mean Jesus “the R6 Implant” Christ? I always wondered how he did that, because if all religions are just implants Jesus wouldn’t count for anything. Who’d know or care about him? So who’d know or care about being clear or anything else?

            • Poison Ivy

              Do not question the Great and Powerful Hub’s contradictions. If you do not understand the contradictions, then you clearly have crimes against Scientology.

        • Sidney18511

          Also the cross looks like bones.

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        Or what I like to call: the Double Cross.

        • Missionary Kid

          Perfect, that’s what I’ll call it from now on.

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            It is, isn’t it?

    • Missionary Kid

      My thought, too.

    • http://lliira.dreamwidth.org/ Lliira

      The X’d-out cross looks blatantly and badly photoshopped to me. So does the podium in front of it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bob.gravlin Bob Gravlin

    Maybe General Hospital has an idea. Perhaps if COB applied for admission maybe they could help him!

  • Bella Legosi

    But these go to eleven!! It’s one louder!

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Silly. 11 is for Rock Concerts. You need 12. This is for the Pope of Holes (or the Dirty Dozen).

      • Bella Legosi

        lol Pope of Holes……now that would make a really freaking awesome tee shirt

  • i-Betty

    Exciting! My vote has just made the running level-pegging at 50% each. Could this be the closest SMERSH yet? How interesting that the man who kicked it all off is now deemed so average that he struggles to head off Debbie Cook.

    • http://www.facebook.com/andrewr47 Andrew Robertson

      My attempt to encourage family members to register on Disqus and vote for Ron has so far fallen on deaf ears. They are totally uninterested!

      So I am going to have to resort to Plan B. “If you vote for Ron I will make a chocolate fudge pudding for dessert tonight. Otherwise, no pudding.”

      Let’s see if this electoral strategy works. It would in Chicago!

      Andrew

      • sugarplumfairy

        How can ye have any puddin’ if ye don’t eat yer meat?

  • SopranoAscends

    Forget the blue pencils. A good supply of red Sharpies on one’s desk is the way to go. Mark ‘em up and send ‘em back. Sheesh.

  • MarionDee

    Is someone allowed to leave a 3-hour (approx.) event before it ends? Just wondering.

    • 1subgenius

      inb4hotelcalifornia

    • 1subgenius

      At least Hitler and Farrakhan actually spoke for those entire interminable lengths of time.
      At the end of something like that you will agree to anything to make it stop.
      Miscavige is a lightweight in comparison, in terms of speechifying.
      But the length of the events still has the same effect.
      A triumph of the will.

      • Missionary Kid

        Ooh a subtle reference to the film by Leni Riefenstahl for the Nazis. Me like.

      • MarionDee

        Yes, he’s also a lightweight because he’s boring, not a spellbinder, but like someone pitching you a free cruise or swampland in Florida.

        I’m still wondering, though, if you are literally required to stay in your seat til the end (or til intermission). I was at a cult event once for this guy called the Doc in Los Angeles. (Long story–I was researching the building he was speaking in, and the only way to do that was to pretend to be a member,) You could not leave that place unless you were allowed to. Don’t know what they would have done if someone had a medical emergency. But there were literally guards at all the exits. I assume that leaving midway was tantamount to a public declaration of disbelief.

        • RMycroft

          To be a real security guard in California, you have to be licensed by the state, otherwise it’s just some random thug who attempted assault. (Actually, security guards don’t have any special detainment powers either.)

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      It has become a requirement to kidnap and coerce by any means a scientologist at an event or at their home or any place else to either fork over money, assets, or names of people that are antagonistic to scientology. Locking doors is one of the mildest forms.

      I was not around when this began. I experienced it myself around 2005 when I was sucked in to believe that all was well now is scientology land. I know it didn’t happen en masse in 1983, but someone here or on ESMB should be able to tell you the exact moment. I came away instead of thinking how much better, thinking how much worse and also thinking in unacceptable terms to many here “what a bunch of f*’in Nazi’s!”.

      • MarionDee

        Yes, a locked door means a captive audience. Sinister.

        • FistOfXenu

          And a fire regulations violation

    • villagedianne

      No I don’t think they can just leave. Can anybody answer this?

  • TonyOrtega

    I’ve updated the post, in case General Hospital writers stop by.

    • 1subgenius

      hehe

      • TheHoleDoesNotExist

        Whoop! Dear General Hospital writers: Please pass the word to the gods of approval, a/k/a producers, that you have evidence and already surveyed ideas for mass marketing merchandising models (t-shirts, pins, hats, posters, signs, coffee cups, aprons, et al) that would more than compensate any lawyers if you should need to, ahem, consult while the billable clocks are ticking.

        And note to Poison Ivy: If this isn’t hit material…. !

    • 1subgenius

      I’ll bet they do work those, or their own, in. If she/he/they are that aware to make that kind of reference, they probably lurk here.
      Soap watchers do your thing.

  • 1subgenius

    The General Hospital thing is not just a measure of progress, it is a powerful blow struck in this cause for great justice.
    I wonder if media will pick up on what just happened. Anyone with connections, go.
    All the artists, comedians, writers who get the message out in any form are helping to chase the devil out of earth.
    And not just preaching to the choir.

  • http://twitter.com/Scientology_411 Scientology_411

    Buffalo org is Scientology’s decade-old showcase “Ideal Org” and now they’re admitting it’s been in Non-E all this time? Damn, you’d think that would be a big red flag to all the sheeple.

  • Sherbet

    Also for the GH writers: “Code Red to ER! Code Red to ER! Patient is stuck in an electronic incident!”

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      I am praying to Xenu that Poison Ivy has got enough material by now to go to HBO for the series.

      • Sherbet

        PI has the material, but she may need the funding. Cough it up, Bunkees.

        • Poison Ivy

          Scientology the Series? Or Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane (‘makes Fernhill look like a 5 star resort”) The Series? Something along the lines of the second season of American Horror Story but with a Miscavige-like character?

          • Sherbet

            I know one thing: CBS isn’t interested.

          • TheHoleDoesNotExist

            Scientology, the Religion for the Criminally Insane.

            • Poison Ivy

              Agreed. Don’t know who’d buy it though.

            • TheHoleDoesNotExist

              Read your book and I am positive you could mold it into a mouth watering morsel for the money men. Just my opinion.

            • Poison Ivy

              Well, that’s the power of the media. One of my mentors once said to me, “You might be the only Bible somebody reads today” about taking responsibility when creating work that reaches thousands or millions. I think there are a lot of people making TV who just never think of that if they can help it.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Didn’t the fans of Veronica Mars just alert the bad boys of TV Land that We the Viewers are forming a more perfect union, or something? Plus, we should have tshirts and posters to sell shortly.

          • Missionary Kid

            They were on the news that said they’d already raised over 2 million, then, when the producers came on, it had already gone to over 3 million in just one day more.

            The people who donate will get prizes, including a DVD of the movie.

      • FistOfXenu

        I hear and will consider your request.

        • TheHoleDoesNotExist

          Thank you Oh Lord, I am humbled. Oh my, look below! You truly Are Lord Xenu!

    • Poison Ivy

      Brilliant!

  • Sherbet

    Or, “Tell me, Doctor. Is my husband dead, or is it only an allegory?”

    • J. Swift

      “No Sherbert. I said ‘allergy’ not ‘allegory.’ Your husband died from an allergy to whatever is in the Oiliness Table. The Church is very sorry for your loss but takes no blame.”

      • Sherbet

        Wait a minute, J Swift — I don’t think you can have real doctors and the church in the same scene.

  • J. Swift

    The Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane:

    http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n196/scienowriter/DM116_zps9c974279.png

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gina-Smith/100001074462676 Gina Smith

    I literally roared with laughter at the suggestions for the GH writers. Thanks Tony.

  • mook

    from ESMB: Co$ will loose 10% of their money bunkered in Cyprus bank
    http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?30922-Co-will-loose-10-of-their-money-bunkered-in-cyprus

  • J.W.

    Are the event videos available to watch online?

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Are you a masochist?

  • http://www.facebook.com/gayle.smith.3994 Gayle Smith

    Wow, I stopped watching GH about a decade too soon.

  • Observer

    LRH is ahead by less than 1%. This is gonna be another squeaker.

    • TheHoleDoesNotExist

      Oh, these newbies. They Know Not What They Wrought.

    • http://www.facebook.com/andrewr47 Andrew Robertson

      It’s time for friends of Ron to issue an ‘All hands on deck’ call or the unthinkable might happen!

      I’d suggest “Vote early, vote often’ but the suppressive Polldaddy might be monitoring both IP and e-mail addresses and spot ballot irregularities.

      Andrew

      • aquaclara

        They are….no room for Chicago-style voting in this tourney!

  • N. Graham

    1. Make up the technology
    2. Disseminate the technology
    3. Act like the technology is earthshaking
    4. Charge a lot of money so people think it’s worthwhile
    5. Set up offshore banking accounts to store the money
    6. If investigated, go into hiding

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

    Debbie Cook is taking a late lead! I voted for LRH, but wouldn’t mind seeing him go down. Found this quote from him on the links downthread,

    LRH also says in OT(TM) Maxims: “THE POWER (defined as light-year kilo-tons per micro-second) OF A THETAN IS MEASURED BY NOTHING ELSE THAN THE DISTANCE (defined as spherical spatial length) AROUND HIM IN HIS ENVIRONMENT THAT HE CAN CONTROL.”

    Oooh, doesn’t that just sound so scientificky?

  • http://www.facebook.com/george.layton.756 George Layton

    Attention : All OTVIIIs who know LRH was infallibly
    correct. THIS IS FICTION(NOT REAL) DON’T READ THIS! As for you other OTVIIIs,
    please don’t try this at home (or in space) as it could very well be a one way
    ticket!

    OTIX

    It was November 20th 36AD (1986
    MEST time). The instant I discarded my OTVIII body it was as if someone was
    yelling in my mind.

    “GET
    TO MERCURY! NOW!!!”

    I went
    flying straight to Mercury and there was RON in his Thetan form!

    “WE’VE
    GOT WORK TO DO!” He screamed into my mind. It wasn’t actually speaking but what
    Ron explained to be Thetan Think. I could only do it in just above a whisper.
    “You’ll get the hang of it, never as well as I can do it but any OTVIII can TT.”

    There
    were a few others there, all OTVIIIs that had dropped the body, and they were
    flying into the Sun and then shooting back out in the direction of the Orion
    nebula. “WHAT ARE YOU JUST FLOATING THERE FOR!?! FLY TO THE CENTER OF THE SUN
    AND SHOOT OUT TOWARD ORION!!”

    “ Sorry Ron” I TTd.

    “I’M
    NOT RON OUT HERE I DROPPED THAT BODY! GET SHOOTING!”

    I followed the others into the Sun and then shot toward Orion. I noticed
    that the others were only shooting out to about a quarter of the distance from
    the surface of the Sun to Mercury, roughly 7 million miles. As I shot along
    beside a fellow OTVIII I noticed that we were each leaving a vaporous trail
    behind us.

    She explained that they were solar flares we
    were creating. “It’s our OTIX training. You pay by giving any extra of your
    Thetan Energy to BST. Just from that TE, BST can tell what you’re thinking and
    you’re instantly audited that way. Very efficient.”

    “BST?”

    “That’s Ron out here beyond the meat body.
    Benevolent Space Thetan.”

    “Why is he so angry?” I TT
    whispered as low as I could so as not to be overheard.

    “were behind schedule for one.
    Also BST is the only one that can give this OTIX training and he has to do it
    from here inside MEST. That very hard on any Thetan past OTXX. That’s why he
    needs to siphon OTIX energy. To create a protective shell around himself that
    holds in the enormous amount of energy that he is. Otherwise just a particle of
    thought from him would make the Big Bang seem like a cheap Chinese firecracker.
    And it may seem like he’s shouting but he’s really got his TT at a negative
    tone just to keep from harming the universe.”

    “I’m grateful he’s holding back
    with all he’s got and I’ll do all I can to help. What are we behind schedule
    on?”

    “The release of Xanu form his
    electronic prison, of course. Right now were practicing firing solar flares at
    the Orion nebula to perfect our aim. BST has been out there and says it won’t
    harm anything there because it’s already hot there. We have to have our aim
    perfect when we fire at the desert on Earth.”

    “THE RELEASE OF XANU!?! Why in
    the gaLAXy would we ever want to do that?”

    “Relax, BST has it all under
    control.”

    She swooped in for another solar flare trail
    and I followed. If BST said so well then I was so. I didn’t even let my TT
    wonder if it might not be the wisest idea. No telling what sort of RPF might be
    waiting out here in space.

    On our next flare trail out she
    explained further. “You see, since BST dropped the meat body there has been no
    driving force to KSW. Also there can never be anyone to lead that can come
    close to the Source that BST is. BST of course saw the dilemma and of course
    saw past it immediately. The only solution is an antagonist of great magnitude
    is needed so that the SO won’t grow flaccid and apathetic. Something to keep
    them in fighting shape. So we are going to aim all these solar flares toward
    the place on earth where Xanu is imprisoned and the electromagnetic pulses will
    interrupt the electronic barrier walls of the prison.”

    “The SO will be able to handle
    Xanu?”

    “Of course they will, after all
    they were the ones who imprisoned him 74,999,994 years ago weren’t they?”

    “Yes but with LR.., I mean BST
    leading the charge and holding Xanu in a head lock while they put on the
    electro-cuffs! How on earth will they pull it off this time?”

    “Oh they aren’t supposed to
    imprison him again. You see when Xanu is released the wogs will all flock to
    the SO for protection and induction. All will be taken under the SO wing and
    the planet will be well on it’s way to clear. Well all except the SPs. Xanu
    needs something to play with to keep him occupied during the clearing.”

    “What happens when the planet
    is clear and only Xanu and the other SPs are left?”

    “OH BST has really outdone even himself on this part. It’s very, very
    clever. He will design and direct the building of a De-Implantation Station on
    a high plateau in Chile. He will gather up all the SPs and Xanu and DIS them!
    Then re-implant all the correct data with a special Thetan charge, weaved
    ingeniously into that data, purging all engramic thetan bodies all at once.
    This process will of course eradicate any abbrative thinking but they will make
    a handy work force.”

    So we kept at the solar flare
    target practice until we all passed our OTIX (which can only be attained by an
    OTXIII that has dropped the meat body and taken the OTIX course directly from
    BST out between the Sun and the Org on Mecury, the hottest Org in this Solar
    System) then we aimed at the spot BST marked on Earth (TTing it right to us so
    we wouldn’t miss) and trailed our solar flares. Our mission was of course a
    complete success!

    Wog media headlines 1987: Mysterious electromagnetic waves strike
    earth! XANU ESCAPES! Scientologist were right all along! Governments around the
    globe request counsel from the Church.
    i vote Debbi, rons still out the pluggin away

    • sugarplumfairy

      ok, George.. My name is Nurse Fairy.. I’m here to take you back to your lovely, safe room at Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane.. Don’t you worry about those big armed men in uniforms surrounding you.. They’re your friends and we’re all here to help you.. That’s a good good boy.. come along now..

    • sugarplumfairy

      ok, George.. My name is Nurse Fairy.. I’m here to take you back to your lovely, safe room at Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane.. Don’t you worry about those big armed men in uniforms surrounding you.. They’re your friends and we’re all here to help you.. That’s a good good boy.. come along now..

    • grundoon

      Dead Hubbard wishes he could write as well as you.

  • DeElizabethan

    Liar, Liar, pants on fire, L Wrong will bring the church down. With exposure of course. Thanks Tony

  • Unex Skcus

    I’m having images of the Miscavige Hospital for the Criminally Insane morphing into a scene from “One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest”, where Murphy (replaced by Miscarriage) tries to strangle Nurse Ratchet, replaced by… hmmm… Debbie Cook?

  • montananut

    A little of subject, but I feel I must share. I was in LA last week on vacation and made my husband take me to Hollywood to see Big Blue. We decided to park and walk around to take pictures (I will post them as soon as I get them on a flash drive). As we were strolling down LRH Way a bunch of people came out one of the back doors of Big Blue, dressed all alike in black pants and blue shirts, and all with that thousand yard stare going on. Not being able to help myself, I yelled to my husband, “Look honey, RPFers!!!” I took a couple of pics, then, again, not being able to help myself, called to them, “You don’t have to live like this. It’s not too late to get out!” The person leading the parade of the broken down immediately turned them around and marched them back into the building. My husband and I both just busted out laughing. We were then approached by someone who was sitting in the outdoor lounge area, and asked to leave. My husband not so politely told him it was a public street and he could go piss up a rope. The look on his face was priceless! We then walked around to the front of the building, and by this time apparently word had made it’s way around, and as we approached the front doors, someone came out and was hearding the RPFers that were doing yard work back into the building. I just find it so amusing that they were afraid of 2 people walking down the street spouting the truth. Do they think we could actually convince some of those poor broken people to get out???? I can only hope!

    And on subject, I refuse to vote for L Ron, no matter that it’s actually against him, I just couldn’t get my fingers to hit that button. Besides, Debbie most definitely deserves to beat him for her courage under fire!!!!

    • Poison Ivy

      Hello, law enforcement? LAPD? The Feds? There is human slavery going on here, right in the heart of Hollywood. What’s that I hear? Outrage? Police sirens? Jail cells clanking shut? Oh never mind. That was just more CRICKETS.

    • sugarplumfairy

      It’s sad more than amusing.. anxious to see your pics..

    • HeatherGraceful

      You are so suppressive. Nice work!

  • montananut

    Here are a few of the pics I took. The first one is kind of hard to see, but it is the RPFers being led back into the front door after we came around the corner. Number 2 is the RPFers coming back out after we left and were taking one more lap around the building. Number 3 is the woman who came out the front door to heard everyone back inside. She was totally glaring at us as she was walking to get one gal who wasn’t moving fast enough.

    • montananut

      For some reason when I posted this the pics were posted backwards in order. So pic 1 is now pic 3, and so forth.

  • Jesse Prince

    That opening piece about General Hospital almost made me puke it was so funny!

  • FancyKat

    I know Trashania Froust. She was a kind girl but she also is good on doing disconnection. She was one of the big three and I have a pic of her. She was LRH host.

    She gave me a book and signed it. I have since given it away since she could not stay by people who she said she liked. She choose the cult over …. You get the jest of it because that is how ti goes. I have a kind of book written up too but not released it. I should call it Heartbreak Hotel.

  • Sydjazz

    I heard a bunch of scions saying tom cruise’s new movie has a lot of l ron tech in it. Yay another reason to not see it. Besides the fact that i think tom couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag