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HOW SCIENTOLOGY COERCED A CHILD TO HAVE AN ABORTION: THE LAURA DECRESCENZO FILES

HOW SCIENTOLOGY COERCED A CHILD TO HAVE AN ABORTION: THE LAURA DECRESCENZO FILES

—————- In anticipation of her biggest day in court yet, Laura DeCrescenzo and her attorneys hit the Church of Scientology with 928 pages of new filings —————- Details from 18,000 pages of evidence show how Scientology manipulated a child to keep her working under slave-like conditions —————- A key document describing DeCrescenzo’s unwillingness to have her coerced abortion is missing from the evidence Scientology was ordered to produce By Tony Ortega Wednesday afternoon, Laura DeCrescenzo filed explosive new information in her four-year legal odyssey against the Church of Scientology, submitting 928 pages of new declarations and exhibits in anticipation of a crucial October 23 hearing in her lawsuit against the church which alleges abuse, including allegations that she was forced to have an abortion at only 17 years of age. Key to the new filings is information gleaned from thousands of pages of previously secret files that the church fought mightily to keep under wraps. But on Monday, the U.

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Scientology is Staking Everything On Portland Like It Actually Matters

HeberPosterFormer Scientology spokesman Mike Rinder has been using his blog to document just how desperate the church is getting as it pursues its “Ideal Org” strategy.

Church leader David Miscavige seems more determined than ever to raise money from church members in order to purchase and renovate downtown landmarks in cities around the world, even though they seem unneeded and then go largely empty. (Rinder documented just how empty in a remarkable story about one of the first Ideal Orgs, in Johannesburg.)

Years of effort goes into the fundraising and rehabbing of these buildings, and everything about these efforts suggest that Miscavige seems to believe that their grand opening ceremonies present huge public relations opportunities for Scientology, which has, in the last year, been suffering through the worst publicity of its existence.

In particular, the sheer panic that seems to be fueling next week’s opening at the newest Ideal Org in Portland, Oregon suggests that the church considers it a major make-or-break moment. And we have to wonder, does the church not realize that the outside world couldn’t care less?

Rinder has already posted a couple of interesting fliers about the Portland opening. And now we have a fairly amazing e-mail we wanted to share with you that shows just how much effort is going into putting on a big show for, well, the rest of us, apparently.

First, let’s take a look at a poster that Rinder found objectionable, and for very interesting reasons.

It plays on the notion that Portland does have a special place in Scientology history. In 1985, the church was hit with a $39 million judgment in a lawsuit brought by Julie Christofferson Titchbourne, a woman who had briefly been a church member and said she had been harmed by Scientology’s processes. To protest the jury award, Scientology flew in a couple of thousand church members to Portland — including John Travolta (who flew his own Lear Jet) and Chick Corea. The judge in the case then declared a mistrial, voiding the jury award, and ever since the church has referred to the Portland event as its “Religious Freedom Campaign.”

But Rinder noticed that the man in the poster putting up a declaration at Portland’s courthouse is none other than Heber Jentzsch, nominally the president of the Church of Scientology International since 1982, who has been a resident of Scientology’s notorious office-prison for fallen executives, “The Hole,” at its secretive International Base in Southern California since about 2004.

 
HeberPosterFull

 
As Rinder points out, it’s pretty amazing that the church would use an image of an executive it has kept in a hellish internal prison to represent “religious freedom.”

As we said, all evidence suggests that Miscavige really considers the May 11 grand opening of the new Ideal Org to be of critical importance. And we have a lengthy e-mail to prove it.

First off, there’s evidence of something we always suspected — that church members from other areas are pressured into attending the grand openings in order to swell the size of the audience…

0n Apr 30, 2013, at 5:42 PM, Austin Nickels wrote:

PORTLAND GRAND OPENING STANDINGS

We meet again for freedom where victory began!!!!

ORG STANDINGS

1. Sacramento 36
2. Mountain View 16
3. San Francisco 10
4. Orange County 9
5. Dallas 8
5. Denver 8
7. San Diego 7
8. Austin 6
9. Twin Cities 4
10. Salt Lake City 3
11. St. Louis 2
11. Los Gatos 2
13. Albuquerque 1
13. Kansas City 1
13. Stevens Creek 1
16. Hawaii 0
16. Las Vegas 0
16. Phoenix 0
16. Santa Barbara 0

CONTINENTS/AREAS

1. Portland 617
2. Los Angeles 194
3. Seattle 121
4. East US 30
5. Canada 22
6. United Kingdom 15

LET’S GO WUS!!!!!!!!

Total target is 3,500 people and we are past the 1,000 mark overall. GO, GO, GO!!!!!

ML, Austin

PS: If numbers are inaccurate, let me know what it is and list of names

 
And of course, it wouldn’t be a Scientology event without lots of mandatory money-grubbing…

 

On Sat, Apr 27, 2013 at 11:01 PM, Austin Nickels wrote:

Dear All,

Its official. You may have already gotten the word. Portland Ideal Org is grand opening on the 11th of May!!!!!!!

…This is for your general briefing and a bit of the international and continental view as to what is expected of the big, bad WEST US!!!!

…For your info, this is how many people are expected to come from outside the WUS for this truly historic occasion:

EUS [Eastern US] 300
CAN [Canada] 250
EU [Europe] 100 + (2 per org)
LATAM [Latin America] 25
UK [United Kingdom] 25
ANZO [Australia/New Zealand] 15
AF [Africa] 5

You never know, there could be more but they are calling in and scheduling like mad…

Now the next point is Fundraising. Of course! On Saturday, we have the Rally and Fundraiser and Sunday, the panel. Now this is our HOME COURT and there is no way other continents are going to come into OUR HOUSE and push us around. NO WAY!!!!! So here is the trick. You are going to get this ALL LINED UP befor hand and you are going to bring it to Portland and you are going to show the world what YOU’VE got and what WE’VE got as a group. These are CASH quotas. Not pledges. Those go on top — they are fine, but we are talking CASH IN here. We are going to slamdunk the next $1M cont-wide IN THAT ROOM, THAT NIGHT in recognition of our final (and DEDICATED) push to complete our continent. We are going to do it together — in that room, right there on the spot — you/we are going to show the world what you/we are made of. And of course you all want ot show off in front of each other, too:

ALB [Albuquerque] $50K
AST [Austin] $200K
HAW [Hawaii] $50K
KC [Kansas City] $200K
MV [Mountain View] $200K
SD [San Diego] $200K
SLC [Salt Lake City] $200K
STB [Santa Barbara] $50K
STL [St. Louis? Seattle?] $200K
VLY [S.F. Valley?] $200K

That’s that. You walk in with that cash in hand. We want the donors there with you to announce it. But note, if for some odd reason the donor can’t come along on the trip, then get the money in hand and announce it for them — it can still count as long as it’s paid.

…First thing — your attendance (i.e. you that is reading this), along with a strong delegation from your org area — bring your finest Humanitarians, your finest OTC members and a great deal of potential for Ideal Org movement that weekend…

Org attendance targets are:

NOR-CAL ALLIANCE:

MV 50
GATOS 35
SAC 50
SFO 50
SNC 35

SO-CAL ALLIANCE:

SD 35
OC 30

LA UNITED:

LA/ING/PASA/VLY 500

TEXAS ALLIANCE:

AST 25
DAL 25

ROCKY MOUNTAIN ALLIANCE:

DVR 25
SLC 25
STL 25

MIDWEST ALLIANCE:

KC 25
TC 25

SOUTHWEST ALLIANCE:

ALB 25
LV 30
PHX 25

HAW 25
STB 25

The second leg of this is the fundraising advance we expect to make that day as covered above. So of course, you are going to line this all up beforehand and bring it with you. Then, with the people that you are bringing with you want to do more and they need the opening for the close, you’ll capitalize on that and SMASH that wimpy quota I laid out for you above…

 
Well, that certainly sounds like a good time. Speeches and cheering and then get out your checkbook.

But we marvel at the tone of this e-mail and the other mailers and fliers we’ve been seeing for this event. We know that church members are already exhausted from the endless rounds of fundraising that have been going on for several years. And many of the people coming from other cities will have already seen their own Ideal Orgs open and then fail to bring in the promised waves of new public. So who is all the fake enthusiasm for?

Is it for the media, the public? Even Miscavige can’t believe that Ideal Org openings are doing anything for the church’s reputation. Or is the big show for the whales, the big spenders who need to be reassured that progress is being made, that the planet is being cleared? Give us your thoughts.

 
——————–

Posted by Tony Ortega on May 3, 2013 at 07:00

E-mail your tips and story ideas to tonyo94@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter. We post behind-the-scenes updates at our Facebook author page. Here at the Bunker we try to have a post up every morning at 7 AM Eastern (Noon GMT), and on some days we post an afternoon story at around 2 PM. After every new story we send out an alert to our e-mail list and our FB page.

If you’d like to help support The Underground Bunker, please e-mail our webmaster Scott Pilutik at BunkerFund@tonyortega.org

 

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  • http://www.facebook.com/phil.mckraken.58726 Phil McKraken

    Those lists with contribution amounts make me think of a mafia boss’ list of who pays what amount monthly tribute up the hierarchy into his coffers. The tone of authority is what does it.

    • Truthiwant

      If they had a fundraiser for an Ideal Org in Corleone it might go something like this…

      Amici miei, we needa your dollari for our cosa nostra, I meena , Ideala Org. We needa a lota
      dollari and ifa you don’ta bring the tangente thena we hava our musician amici
      with their violino case and I tella you, there is no violino ina that case.

      • FistOfXenu

        DM’s made them an offer they won’t refuse. They cough up the dough or they wake up 1 morning with dead clams in their beds.

        • Observer

          lol!!

        • Sidney18511

          The . Best. Ever!

        • Truthiwant

          Un comico. We hava youra name, Signor Pugno di Xenu.

    • Vistaril

      That’s exactly what those lists are. And, as always with Scientology, they reflect money obtained by the use of fraud. So far as many Scientologists are concerned, the “Portand Crusade” is an EPIC WIN worthy of generous celebration. In fact, the “Portland Crusade” was an orchestrated attempt at bullying wog justice with angry mobs outside the court house. Alas, it appeared to work and, thus, reinforced the idea of Scientology’s alien supah powerz. I don’t find it amazing at all that a stone crew like Scientology would want to disappear a former henchman and consigliere like Heber. What’s amazing is that he’s still alive . . . at least, I think he is.

      • ThetaBara

        He was last year. They rolled him out for his son’s funeral (so they could rub Karen’s nose in it just that much more).

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=664333811 Paul Sheehan

    A million in cash from 3000 people? Best have armed guards as some poor Sea Org slob might make a break for the door. I tell you while DM looks more like Mini Me he sounds more like Dr. Evil all the time. ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

    • monkeyknickers

      I hope they at least have some free snacks for these poor marks.

      • John P.

        The gay bar/male strip club across the street will probably be clever enough to offer special discounts on burgers and craft beers since they probably won’t be too busy at the daytime event. Of course, the Sea Org people probably couldn’t afford a cheeseburger and pair of locally-brewed IPA’s on their meager salary. But some of the clams could.

        • Missionary Kid

          Maybe the used book store down the block further will get some business, if people aren’t regged within their last penny.

          • John P.

            If you’re talking about Powell’s, that is not merely a “used bookstore.” It is one of the great temples of literature in the US. Unfortunately, since the clams are only allowed to read the sacred logorrhea of “Mankind’s Greatest Friend,” it’s unlikely they will buy any of the approximately one million books for sale at Powell’s. Unless, of course, they got smart and bought a bunch of “collectible” leatherbound copies of Hubbard’s work on eBay for $5 apiece and turn around and sell them to the clams for $300, a discount of $200 on the regular price. That would be tons of fun in the unlikely event they actually knew that this momentous event were taking place…

            • Missionary Kid

              Powell’s is great, but this is Cameron’s, a small corner bookstore on the corner of SW 3rd Avenue and Stark Street. He doesn’t stock $cion books. Some clams came in and wanted to put up a display for Dianetics in his crowded store. The guy running it threw them out.

            • aquaclara

              Our hero! Wonder if he knows about all the fun that ‘s about to land? !

            • Missionary Kid

              He dislikes having anything with the term “church” being so close. He has an idea of what’s going in, but Portland is not Clearwater.

              He said that it’s taken them a long time to open even though they’ve done a lot of structural reinforcement inside for earthquake reinforcement. In the front windows to the left on SW 3rd. Avenue, you’ll be able to see giant steel beams criss-crossed.

            • grundoon

              They had Lawrence Wright’s book prominently displayed the last time I went by there.

        • VickiStubing

          You don’t think they’ll have guards keeping everyone corralled at the mOrgue? I’d think they’d especially want to keep people away from a bookstore–if they have money to spend on books, they should be buying Encyclopediaronicas!

        • Ms. B. Haven

          The gay bar/male strip club should put a sign up in their window FREE KOOL-AID to keep the throngs of attendees from handing out TWTH booklets and offering personality tests.

        • monkeyknickers

          Ha! I’m thinking the SO is very ramen and peanut butter oriented.

          I lived in SF for 6 years, and I think it’s general knowledge that gay bars do a respectable burger.

          I’m fibbing. But I like the image. I DID live there for six years, but as a musician I mostly ate . . . .
          ramen and peanut butter.

        • monkeyknickers

          Oh! And! SPEAKING of such, after my account got exsanguinated on the first of the month, I realized that I have about . .. oh, 39.14 burning a hole in my pocket. Can’t you give me some proper advice from a master so I can blow it into a bunch more? I decided I want a yacht. :)))

      • ThetaBara

        At the last event at the SF org, they had red vines!
        People kept leaving and coming back with takeout.

        • monkeyknickers

          Really?! Showin’ church love and generosity and commitment to . . . . making you go to taco truck all time if you’re not keen on passing out while faking unbridled enthusiasm.

          • ThetaBara

            There’s video over on WWP.

            • monkeyknickers

              Ooo! I’ll go search for it.

  • Truthiwant

    Considering that Portland Ideal Org is about to open, I presume that it is already paid for. Should it not be a restful day where the Scientologists can enjoy themselves for a few hours without being hounded for more money?
    Oops, I think I’ve just said something stupid.

    • Missionary Kid

      Not stupid to the rest of the world. Stupid if you’re a member of Co$.

      • Casabeca

        No Sabbath rest in Scientology.

        • Observer

          Scientology: You’ll rest when you’re dead

          • Exterrier

            Heh, heh…… but even death is not an allowed option, either. You have an eternity of Trillions of years, and some of you have a billion year contract to serve out. The way out is no way out.

    • Ze Moo

      Obi Wan, the snark is strong in this one…

  • elar aitch

    Why does DM stake so much on this Ideal Org programme when it cannot be seen as other than a visible failure – lots of MEST, no dissemination (as opposed to tech delivery, where the success/failure is subjective and sharing of entheta prohibited). Why the heavy regging when this is clearly what is making the last dregs of public and staff walk out (and which was so clearly described as out-policy in Debbie Cook’s email).

    It does reek of a last-ditch ‘squeeze the last drops out’ approach. But is this in DM’s interest? It really feels like an end-game tactic but I somehow doubt DM sees that he is winding up.

    I think I am doing myself a disservice (and potential psychological damage) in trying to determine a situation in which these actions make sense. And yet they make perfect sense to him. Would wog legal and financial advisers be advocating this type of activity to line their own pockets? Is regging for real estate just the extreme outcome of policies to “make money, make more money….etc” so that DM believes he is faithfully (religiously) following LRH?

    Shouldn’t really try to understand lunatics, but part of my fascination with this is from working in a medium sized organisation with a CEO who is undoubtedly NPD/BPD – I see lots of parallels wth DM’s behaviour, and can’t help but think that though this be madness, yet there is method in it. Even insane people have their reasons.

    • FistOfXenu

      Why? Bread and circuses. He thinks if he keeps the noise and commotion turned up to 11, people won’t notice the cult is bleeding to death. I hear the band kept playing as the Titanic sank.

      • elar aitch

        Make sense, but they can have bread and circuses without the regging. Other organisations have budgets for PR. A nominal amount on entertainment/PR would raise fewer questions than all the fundraising is doing. Is he too blindly and stupidly following LRH rules about not spending? Too greedy to use stashed money?

        • Ze Moo

          At least the clams don’t have to listen to Chill E B at this clamsterfook.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

        But… but… his people aren’t getting any bread (rice and beans doesn’t count) and they aren’t really getting circuses either. The Coliseum had free admission and, whatever you may think of bloodsports, lots of entertainment. A high-priced ticket for a boring evening is not much of a “circus”.

        • FistOfXenu

          Are you kidding? If you get over your fear of being KRed because you don’t look enthusiastic enough, the sight of a self-important midget living up to the name Demented by “enthusing” about nothing and demanding money for it is hysterical. He’s like a whole clown show rolled up into 1, plus he’s a high wire act (and we know it’s a matter of time before he falls off and we also know the safety net’s gone – tick tock, Davey), plus he’s a freak show, plus he’s a lion tamer (but he doesn’t know yet that the big cats aren’t afraid of him anymore). So hurry hurry hurry step right up and see the circus before the tent falls down!

    • ThetaBara

      He’s a narcissist (at least). You might find that sociopath book illuminating. The Sociopath Next Door.

  • jensting

    “We are going to slamdunk the next $1M cont-wide IN THAT ROOM, THAT NIGHT
    in recognition of our final (and DEDICATED) push to complete our
    continent.”

    Ehrm, what’s actually missing in their continent that a million dollars will “complete?”

    • stateofcircle

      my thoughts exactly….what is this money FOR?

      • Sidney18511

        It is obvious, as far as the COBster is concerned….you can NEVER have TOO MUCH MONEY.

        • grundoon

          or be too thin short

          • FistOfXenu

            Sorry grundoon. DM will ALWAYS be too short.

      • FistOfXenu

        All that corruption and evil costs big money, and when it all crashes down around him his getaway’s gonna be expensive.

      • Artoo45

        Yellow T-shirts and windbreakers don’t grow on trees, you know. And don’t even get me started on how much printing Way To Happiness brochures costs. Imagine future disaster scenes without clueless, yellow-clad people, interfering with rescue and medical personnel whilst handing out sophomoric pamphlets . . . is that what you want? Think of the children!

        • Sherbet

          Your very funny snark aside, I’m wondering now if cos made good on their plan to flood Boston with their useless booklets after the Patriot’s Day bombing. I know they put out a call for funding to print and send TWTH out this way. Howdy? Have you seen anyone ankle-deep in cos litter?

        • grundoon

          The Chruch doesn’t pay for any of those things. The “Volunteer Ministers” pay for their own gear and pamphlets (and yes, the Chruch takes a markup)

    • sharon brown

      He knows they’re about to have to give Refunds by the Freewinds load to settle All the lawsuits regarding fraud, attempt to pay off officials to obtain “Real” licensure for Narconon, buy more $cion ad time, etc. And he just wants to make sure he has enough money left to flee the country before the Feds come and live comfortably in Bora Bora! lol

    • Sherbet

      It’s just another word they throw around, like “freedom.” Freedom from what?

      • Observer

        Freedom from money, family, health, all that bothersome thinking for yourself …

        • Sherbet

          In that case, Observer, scientology works!

        • FistOfXenu

          “freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose”
          Did Janis Joplin ever get tangled up with $cientarCONon?

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

            I see Downboy is back!

            • ThetaBara

              I was wondering about our downvoting pal, since Staturday was yesterday. Entheta never sleeps!
              Glad to see you back, Downey.
              You don’t have to keep doing it. It’s ok to have doubts. Your doubts are valid. It means you’re aware. The stats don’t add up.
              You can walk away. People will help. :-)

          • Sherbet

            That would be Kris Kristofferson, wouldn’t it, Fist?

            • FistOfXenu

              True, but I had a weakness for Joplin’s version. ;) But sure, Kristofferson’s the relevant name there.

    • grundoon

      A million dollars is all that’s missing in their continent that a million dollars will “complete.” How did a million dollars go missing? Let’s hope a prosecutor asks David Miscavige that question. There has never been a public accounting of any of the donation money.

  • http://www.facebook.com/andrewr47 Andrew Robertson

    This is beyond ridicule. Or parody. Or humour. There is no attempt to even hide the fact that the only focus of the Scientology organization is making money for no other purpose than its accumulation. Miscavige is truly the willing and disgusting minion of L Ron Hubbard and his worthy successor.

    Does this blustering promotion for the Portland Ideal Org pay even lip service to religious freedom, spiritual advancement, human rights or charitable works?

    Let’s see:

    [...]

    These are CASH quotas. Not pledges. Those go on top — they are fine, but
    we are talking CASH IN here. We are going to slamdunk the next $1M
    cont-wide IN THAT ROOM, THAT NIGHT in recognition of our final (and
    DEDICATED) push to complete our continent. We are going to do it
    together — in that room, right there on the spot — you/we are going to
    show the world what you/we are made of. And of course you all want to
    show off in front of each other, too:

    [...]

    That’s that. You walk in with that cash in hand. We want the donors
    there with you to announce it. But note, if for some odd reason the
    donor can’t come along on the trip, then get the money in hand and
    announce it for them — it can still count as long as it’s paid.

    [...]

    I find no mention here that Hubbard’s vile creation has any redeeming merit at all; ‘Scientology – it’s always worse than you thought!’

    Andrew

    • FistOfXenu

      “This is beyond ridicule. Or parody. Or humour”
      Don’t worry Andrew, that won’t stop us from trying.
      I do see 1 trouble with this though. Here we are working our asses off at J&D, but DM is making it harder and harder for us by doing all this degrading without our help. He just never lets go of thinking he’s got to do EVERYTHING himself.

      • scnethics

        Good point!

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

        No matter how good David Miscavige gets at degrading himself, he will never have any talent for joking.

        • Ze Moo

          He is rather good at degrading others…

          • Still_On_Your_Side

            People who degrade others constantly do so because they are terrified the other person can see their true, inner identity. What is their inner identity? It rhymes with “sit.”

        • richelieu jr

          What are you talking a bout? DM has a great sense of humour about himself! Remember when he told Tm Cruise that they were the ‘Big Beings’ on the planet?

          That’s some top-level humour right there!

        • Jgg2012

          Where would Scientology be if he wasn’t the “most intelligent, most tolerant, most compassionate leader in the entire world”?

          • FistOfXenu

            right where the are.

    • scnethics

      My favorite is “And of course you all want to show off in front of each other, too”. This seems like something often said internally, that shouldn’t be included in an email to the marks.

      • VickiStubing

        The “show off” remark really sticks in my craw. Maybe it’s cuz I’m Lutheran and we are bred to not show off, but where in a “religion” is there a place for pride and self-aggrandizement? Around here you only seek recognition at the county fair for your pies, jams, and tractor-driving skills. At church? Not so much.

      • grundoon

        That was an internal email.

    • BuryTheNuts2

      This is beyond ridicule.

      Naw!

    • Real Shellback

      t’s always good to write for your target audience – which in this case must be a bunch of rather haughty, stuck up but otherwise mindless rubes.

    • J. Swift

      Andrew, while it seems beyond ridicule, parody, or humor it is not. After all, Scientologists will be allowed to go crazy when the cash quotas are met:

      http://youtu.be/vWexpV7bR2A

  • Observer

    The first thing that comes to mind is the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

    The second thing is DM’s apparent obsession with appearing “ecclesiastical”. The fact that official “church” statements and legal documents regularly mention the Catholic Church, or compare Scn to it, leads me to believe that Davey defines ecclesiastical as “wearing fancy clothes and having a bunch of big ornate buildings.”

    What he can’t see is that despite the abuses and some truly heinous popes–Borgias, anyone?–over the centuries, there have also been uncounted faith-inspired acts of kindness, selflessness and true charity by clergy and laity alike. (No, I’m not Catholic, but I am a Christian of the Protestant variety. Sorry, Captain. ;-) .) All you get with Scientology are evil deeds, or at best self-aggrandizing acts masquerading as good deeds a la Anne Archer’s “salons”. Miscavige can’t–and I truly believe he can’t, rather than just not wanting to–look past the fancy exterior to see there’s something of substance under the surface. And IMO that lack of understanding is why Scientologists use religious terms in such an awkward, stilted way. They have no idea what any of it means, because Scientology isn’t a religion. It’s a fraud-riddled business in religious clothing.

    • MO Mom

      Very well said!

    • sharon brown

      Amen ! I think DM is a meat body missing internal organs , ie. brain and heart and No Soul !

    • monkeyknickers

      I know this isn’t straight on topic Obs, but . . . . I really really don’t like Anne Archer.

      What a strange little woman she is.

      • Observer

        It’s the brainwashing. Yes, Anne, you DO look brainwashed. lol

      • BuryTheNuts2

        How Dare You!

        • Spackle Motion

          She’s not a very good actress, and that scene with Sweeney confirmed my opinion on her…um….’talent’. I thought that the funny face Juliette Lewis made in that BBC-Sweeney special was better acting than Anne Archer.

          • Sherbet

            Glenn Close should’ve boiled Archer in the pot and saved the poor bunny rabbit.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            I used to think she was just understated…..and then I watched her on Panorama and realized she sucked.

            • monkeyknickers

              Ha! I was thinking that the church drives into the ground the Fatal Attraction thing because . . . . what else is there?

            • http://twitter.com/ImeldaMarcos2 Imelda Marcos

              I loved Love At Large, but sorta in spite of her. She’s very “affected”, kind of the opposite of “good acting”, lol.

    • Casabeca

      If DM had a better education, it might be a different world.

      • Observer

        Sad but true–education and psychiatric help/medications for his violent behavior, instead of Hubbard’s idiocy.

        • Casabeca

          Psych meds for Miscavigewould be poetic justice!

          • Observer

            They might give him enough clarity to realize what he’s done … and then he’d really need them.

            He’ll probably die alone and in the dark, which might be preferable to dying, helpless, surrounded by the people he’s so abused over the years.

    • grundoon

      In the early ’80s the Chruch hired lawyers to erect bulletproof religious and corporate shields to stave off taxes, lawsuits, labor laws, etc. Larry Brennan (who we now know, and love, as Denise Brennan) pulled it all together and submitted the final plan to David Miscavige for approval. As part of the religious cloaking effort, Brennan and the lawyers did a project to draw all possible parallels between the practices of Scientology and those of the Catholic Church. For example, franchise mission, auditor priest, sec check confession, org church, Sea Org monks and nuns, slush fund building fund. To look more religious, they even created new Scientology practices modeled after Catholic ones: Scientology chaplains, chapels, Sunday services, dog collars. Miscavige was from a Catholic family, but was in Scientology by age 11; I suspect he knew little of the Catholic Church, and actually almost all of the pseudo Catholic trappings of Scientology were conceived by Brennan and the lawyers. Ironically, Miscavige’s egoism and incompetence have eaten away at the once-bulletproof cloaking until by now it is as thin and leaky as a Sea Ogre’s worn-out sock.

      See Brennan’s blog – and free online book – at http://larrybren.blogspot.com/

      This excerpt from Brennan’s affidavit seems apropos…

      8. It was determined that the only way to handle many of the legal matters in front of us and still apply Hubbard’s policies that had to do with staff, ethics, sales of services, money, delivery of services and the like was to develop and use a religious cloaking saying scientology was a religion, its services religious, its staff members of religious orders and the like. I can state without doubt that the overwhelming main reason that organized scientology developed and pushed its religious cloaking was to avoid a myriad of real or potential legal problems that would exist by following Hubbard’s policies if it were not considered a religion. By developing this religious cloaking for organized scientology it was hoped to avoid legal requirements around the world that might otherwise have to be followed that would make it impossible to follow Hubbard’s policies. In developing the religious cloaking for organized scientology, the following were considered a few of the “benefits” so that Hubbard policies could be applied. There are countless examples but the below are listed simply as a few of them:
      minimum wages would not have to be paid;
      staff could be sent to different parts of the world and be able to stay locally as religious workers;
      standard employee rights, such as those found in laws like the Fair Labor Standards Act, could be discarded and thus Hubbard policies involving such things as ethics conditions, the Rehabilitation Project Force and the like could be applied without outside interference;
      less scrutiny would be allowed on the controls of the funds of scientology and the intermingling of funds between the corporations and other legal fictions of organized scientology;
      it was hoped that the treatment of public scientologists and the use of their funds would be considered outside the purview of governmental bodies;
      couching the demand for and flow of monies within organized scientology using “religious” terms (such as by saying that clear cut mandatory payments for services were “fixed donations” and were mandated by the scripture of “exchange”) was hoped to cut off attempts by governments and others to look into them further;
      what was considered one of the most important reasons for the religious cloaking was so that the services of dianetics and scientology could be delivered without it being considered the practice of psychology and/or medicine. It was feared that unless there was a religious cloaking developed and used throughout organized scientology that its practices would be outlawed in many parts the world. ….

      11. Two of the things that organized scientology felt were of the most importance in order to avoid compliance with many laws that were contrary to Hubbard policy were the religious cloaking as covered above and a corporate restructuring to make it very difficult if not impossible for outsiders to ever get to the main assets of organized scientology and to ensure that the real leaders of organized scientology could be insulated from legal liability by hiding their real controls behind a myriad of corporate and other legal veils. It was considered both a defensive and offensive strategy to have such cloaking (religious and corporate) in place. Defensively it makes it very difficult for individuals or even governments to force legal compliance of the many types of laws as covered above. It also makes it almost impossible to hold those that really control organized scientology responsible legally or to get to the financial assets of organized scientology spread out around the world. Offensively, it gives organized scientology a “safe base” from which to attack critics and/or anyone it feels is its enemy. Hiding behind religious cloaking and corporate veils it can act as a victim when people point out its crimes and injustices calling them “religious bigots” and even scaring governments, many of whom are not supposed to get involved with “religious matters”. By calling policies by Hubbard or Miscavige that are otherwise abusive or contrary to law “religious scripture” it was hoped to avoid legal scrutiny of same.

      • Observer

        Just like his master: deceive, deny and plagiarize. Despicable.

        I have so much respect for Denise. I imagine Miscavige has done his best to destroy her, but he hasn’t been able to silence her.

  • Shannon

    THEY REMEMBERED MY BIRTHDAY! I ALWAYS WANTED MY OWN IDEAL ORG! THANK YOU COB!!

    • FistOfXenu

      Happy birthday Shannon! Did you tell DM what kind of cake you want yet?

      • Shannon

        Hmmmm I don’t know what the RPF members can make with such limited resources…. gruel cake?

        • FistOfXenu

          Just so long as it isn’t Colon Blow cake or we’ll all be relighting your candles every time somebody lights a smoke.

          • Shannon

            If colon blow affects you there must be a PTS. I eat that shit for breakfast.

            • FistOfXenu

              Garbage in, garbage out?

    • sharon brown

      Happy Birthday ! Your present is year long ! Seeing $cientology and it’s front groups become extinct and TinyFists in an orange jumpsuit with matching silver bracelets and fashionable flip-flops ! Enjoy ! lol

      • Midwest Mom

        Happy Birthday to you, Shannon! I hope it’s a fun one! :)

    • BuryTheNuts2

      Happy birthday to you Shannon.

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      And all wrapped up in a big gaudy bow!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=664333811 Paul Sheehan

    They will be serving Colon Blow for dinner at this event

    • ParticleMom

      And locking the doors to the bathroom until you hand over your wallet.

  • sharon brown

    The Lows Tiny Fists will go to knows No bounds ! I wonder what the people putting the flier together were thinking regarding the fact they haven’t seen Herber Jentzsch for a while. With their ” total Freedom”, they know Better than to question it or they’ll end up in ” The Hole that does Not exist” along with possibly being declared , and having to disconnect! Sorry, I forgot, there is No such policy, it’s just Tony Ortega and his 1.1’s that Keep spreading Black PR and putting out entheta ! *rolls eyes *

    • VickiStubing

      We should all contact Vikki with questions about the event: “Will Heber be there? What do you mean, Heber who!? How old are you, anyway? You don’t know the name of the President of CoSI? And you’ve never met him? Really? Shouldn’t he be there to celebrate with you? Maybe you should send him a personal invite. Tell ya what, if Heber will be there, so will I, with a HUGE donation. Have him call me. My number is 9-1-1.”

      • sharon brown

        Love it !!!

      • Sidney18511

        Someone posted on rinder blog that they did just that. They were told that he was working on a “special project”. But maybe if enough people called, they will let him out for the day.

        • VickiStubing

          Yeah, the same “special project” that Shelly is working on. And just about every other high level exec in Sciloontology. They just do not get it, do they?

    • Observer

      I bet the people who are generating those flyers wouldn’t know Heber from a hole in the ground.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001007868067 Synthia Elizabeth Fagen

        Nor would they know a hole at all.

        • FistOfXenu

          There is no hole! DM told Karin or somebody to say so. Then he moved it. It’s officially an ex-hole. Sheesh! Don’t these SPs ever listen?

      • sharon brown

        They’re taught LRH’S BS , but nothing of the Sorid history it was built from, nor the many Good people it has destroyed, which is what makes it even sadder .

        • Missionary Kid

          Everything involved with the church points to the revision of its history. They don’t talk about people who’ve contributed to the growth of the church, other than LRH and DM in their history.

          • sharon brown

            I guess I just can’t get with the “question Nothing ” attitude, especially in the age of the internet. Enquiring minds( like mine ) just want to know !

            • Missionary Kid

              That’s what is involved with the insidious way in which a person is inducted into the cult.

              Outside information is forbidden.

              Read this: http://targettwentytwo.wordpress.com/2013/05/03/leaving-scientology/

            • sharon brown

              Thanks, once again verifying that there Is No freedom in $cientology! smh

            • Casabeca

              All your comments today remind me of 1984’s plot.

            • Missionary Kid

              1984 and Animal farm were about totalitarianism. That’s what Co$ is. If they had their way, Fahrenheit 451 would also be true for anything that contradicts them.

            • Casabeca

              Ha! Perfect! Love your comments, as always.

            • Missionary Kid

              It’s sadly ironic that history is repeating itself, so that books written about past future histories or animal allegories are just as valid now, isn’t it?

    • grundoon

      Heber is an unperson. There is nobody in that photo.

  • Truthiwant

    I have just read the sad story of the Johannesburg Ideal Org. Personally I don’t find it sad atall. On the contrary, I think that it is a wonderful story.

    • RMycroft

      I do feel for the staff who had to wear those wool Idle Org uniforms in Johannesburg’s climate. (And they had to be dry-cleaned at staff expense when they make the equivalent of $50/week on a rare good week.)

      • Truthiwant

        Of course I am sorry for them, but surely they can see that something is far wrong with the Organization and maybe the members should take a deep look at what is actually happening.

        • Missionary Kid

          Co$ is set up so that people don’t take a deep look at anything the church does.

          Do you notice the sense of urgency that is stressed along with every event?
          Keep people busy so they don’t think is how everything is done.

          • RMycroft

            They’re pushing this event to the max. There was a letter from WISE Eastern US promoting the event. On Scientology World, EUS is a different continent from Portland, and WISE is supposed to, kind of, sort of, be completely not be part of the Church of Scientology.

            Once again, David Miscavige shows that there really aren’t any separate Scientology organizations–Just him on top as a Bond super-villain and a whole bunch of mooks and suckers.

            http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Mooks

            • Missionary Kid

              Apparently, I accidentally gave you a down arrow when I clicked on your reference about mooks. I’ve removed it. The explanation of mooks in T.V. and movie stories is great.

              Co$ has to have a different geographical division of the U.S. They can’t survive outside of cities.

  • SFFrog

    Personally, I find Scientology putting Heber on posters less objectionable than putting Nelson Mandela on TWTH booklets.

    • Ms. B. Haven

      I think that it has been mentioned in another post that it was not Heber on the poster. No big deal if it isn’t, it’s an honest mistake.

      I couldn’t help but wonder if Heber would be invited to the grand Portland event though. He was a prominent spokesman for scientology back in ’85 when the ‘religious freedom campaign’ was in full swing.

      I think we should all call Vikki (714-560-3558) to get details about the Grand Opening. I’m going to ask if Heber will be there, and while I’ve got her on the phone, might as well ask about Shelly too and perhaps any others who might come to mind.

      I’m going ‘old school’ on this one and using a pay phone to make a collect call. If Vikki doesn’t accept a collect call, I’m sure that someone will if you say you have cash and want to talk to a reg…

      • TonyOrtega

        I’ll say it again. Rinder initially put up a poster and identified Heber, but then had to acknowledge that it was someone else. Then he put up THIS poster, saying that it was definitely Heber. I checked that all out before posting that here.

        • claybonnyman

          Look at you confirming information. It’s like you’re a journalist or something. “Checking out” facts is so 20th century, Ortega.

  • VickiStubing

    Makes me wish I could head to Portland for some of the fun. I can’t WAIT to see what they have planned for the opening of the org in my backyard.

    • elar aitch

      Whatever it is there’s bound to be some Photoshopping involved.

      • RMycroft

        And wide-angle camera shots designed to make a small crowd and space
        look huge. The Cambridge Ontario opening took place in a tight small
        parking lot (as verified from satellite images), but the camera trickery
        made it look larger than a football field.

        http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h233/RogerRamdrive/cambridge_zps765ce8ea.jpg

        • Ze Moo

          The second most prized scieno skill is use of Photoshop (or other photo editing software). The first most prized scieno skill is a large bank account and the willingness to write large checks to the cult. There could be 100 people at the grand opening, but photoshop will make it go right….

    • FistOfXenu

      Wouldn’t it be a great place for a massive anti-$cientarCONon demo?

    • http://twitter.com/sandyshores50 Sunny Sands

      Super Powerz opening, if it ever happens, should be full of lulz.

  • http://twitter.com/sandyshores50 Sunny Sands

    That poster showing the inside of the Portland org is so busy looking. A big red bow, a scn symbol, an overlay of a world map, and bright white lettering in 3 sizes, all obscure the org in the background. Whoever is putting these posters together is an amateur. This person probably doesn’t even know who Heber is.

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      Yes, more CoS “design” that makes my head hurt. I just mentally blue pencil the whole thing, and then I feel a bit better. Just a bit.

  • 0tessa

    They don’t try to hide it anymore: it’s all about money and nothing else. And cash if you please – having to do with taxation reasons? Something going on with their bankaccounts?

    • ThetaBara

      Because you can keep it off the books? And they are probably sick of Visa getting a cut…

    • grundoon

      Because you can’t stop payment or dispute the charge.

    • annieanne

      Because the other fundraising option is usually a pledge. And pledges don’t always convert to cash in hand.

  • http://www.facebook.com/VictoriaPandora Victoria Pandora

    that is not heber.

    • 1subgenius

      Yeah, I believe its been identified as someone else. And Rinder has acknowledged his mistake.

      • RMycroft

        It was a different promo poster on a previous blog post that had the not-Heber. This one is from behind, but it certainly looks like Heber.

        • Sherbet

          Karen would know. Maybe she’ll pop in and tell us.

        • 1subgenius

          I should shut my stupid mouth.

          • http://www.facebook.com/VictoriaPandora Victoria Pandora

            me too, lol. yes, id like to see what karen says. i was in portland for all that hoopla, , was heber so tall that i never saw that bald spot?

        • BosonStark

          It’s the glasses. It’s him.

      • http://www.facebook.com/VictoriaPandora Victoria Pandora

        it certainly looks like hebers glasses, but i never saw that big bald spot on his head, and he is a blonde?

        • FistOfXenu

          Yeah, but that’s not a bald spot. Heber had a solar panel installed on his head for when he solo audited. He used it to keep his e-meter from running out of juice.

      • TonyOrtega

        Rinder initially put up another poster that he said included Heber Jentzsch but then had to acknowledge was another person. Then he put up this poster, saying it was definitely Heber. If Victoria or 1sub can show us it is someone else, please do.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001007868067 Synthia Elizabeth Fagen

    How dare they give quotas and DEMAND contribution from other org’s public to open up Portland. Man, they are DESPERATE!

    • Observer

      Isn’t that some kind of egregious out-tech?

      • sharon brown

        $cion’s ” out-tech” ? Nonsense ! They can’t mess with the tech ! Maybe it’s a surprise, and LRH will be at the opening , so All $cions Need to come baring Huge donations so Tiny Fist can show LRH what a Good job he’s been doing KSW !

        • Sherbet

          Send lawyers, no guns, and money. The sh** is about to hit the fan. (Oh, and Kools, too, just in case.)

          • sharon brown

            Lol, yeah, a couple of cases should do it !

            • Sherbet

              No guns, though, NOI notwithstanding.

            • sharon brown

              Maybe they’ll be the ones to rob DM of the ” millions ” expected in cash ! You know when you lay with dogs they steal your money ! ( Sorry to anydogs I may have offended , I know you’re Not like that, but NOI, I could definitely see it !) lol

            • Sherbet

              Wouldn’t that be divine justice!

            • sharon brown

              Oh Yeah, Angels would be singing andd we’d be Loao !

            • ThetaBara

              This whole thing is like watching a python fight a crocodile. They’re still just eyeing each other now but when it gets interesting it is going to ge REALLY interesting.

            • FistOfXenu

              That’ll work.

            • ThetaBara

              I’m sure they’ll be packing their own. BTW the NOI thing is on like Donkey Kong. They are starting to require their people do TRs and so forth. There’s a really informative fb group about it, called “SCIENTOLOGY INVASION OF THE BLACK COMMUNITY”

            • Sherbet

              That’s pretty creepy, Theta.

            • ThetaBara

              It is creepy as hell. The fb group has a ton of good info and they seem very determinedto get the word out. Hopefully they will succeed. The NOI is nothing to sneeze at.

            • Sherbet

              It sounds vaguely Helter-Skelterish, but not a race war. A cult vs. cult war. cos made a mistake when they formed their alliance with NOI, and I hope the rest of us don’t get caught in the crossfire.

            • ThetaBara

              I have not seen hide nor hair of them around my local. It all seems to be going on in LA and DC. (And they seem to be holding their own events, not mixing with the existing clams.)
              Yes, it’s hella scary.
              And fascinating. Because their doctrine is that white folks are “blue-eyed devils” who are not fully human, but some sort of alien mumblety something. If I ever saw a blue-eyed devil, it would be Miss Cabbage, ya know?
              And neither he nor FairyCon
              much likes to share power…
              there is NO WAY this will end well. I am sure they both think they are fucking the other and are laughing behind their hands the whole way.
              I just hope no one (else) gets shot.

            • Sherbet

              The way I see life, in my Pollyanna little way, looking back over years too many to admit to, we all face the same global issues — the economy, disease, violence, war, inequality, crime, pollution — that we might as well remember we’re all in this together. Me vs. you vs. gays vs. straights vs. all colors of the rainbow…it’s all pretty stupid and meaningless. What I AM against is people who foster evil intentions, or are just plain mean, which is why cos irks me so much. It’s a fraud, and it hurts people and it deserves all the “anti” attention we and others can give it until scientology is nothing but a tiny blurb in Wikipedia.

            • Missionary Kid

              AMEN!

            • Still_On_Your_Side

              The NOI is going to be very happy (not) to hear that they signed on with the cult just in time for the raids. I would love to be a fly on the wall when Farakhan confronts Miscavige with the information Davey “forgot” to mention. Of course, Farakhan may well have been removed by that point after the rest of the NOI learns where he has led them….

          • TheNextMrsTomCruise

            I miss Warren Zevon.

            Send Lawyers, guns and money. Dad get me out of this.

            • Missionary Kid

              Unfortunately, Warren got an unWarrented reputation for being an arrogant SOB, but from reading what some very respected musicians have said about him, he was absolutely brilliant. I agree and miss him, too.

            • TheNextMrsTomCruise

              My favorite Warren Zevon quote:

              “I’m insane. I’m fucked up. I have problems. But I don’t get depressed and I don’t get bored”

              How can you not love him?

            • Missionary Kid

              A real truth teller.

            • BuryTheNuts2

              RIP WZ!!!

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        I believe it was Richard Nixon who said it best: “Well, when the president does it, that means that it is not illegal.”

    • triumph

      they are alreedy doing it elsewhere,,,billing it as “Alliances”…..seen the advertising for the Harlem Org…and Boston….

  • sugarplumfairy

    I’m imagining my Fr. Corrigan sending out emails before mass saying “we’re going to slam dunk the next $1 million IN THAT CHURCH, THAT NIGHT.. show the diocese what you’re made of.. (money?)… c’mon, you know you wanna show off in front of each other..”

    the good padre would be preaching to his own unholy self on Sunday..

    • Sherbet

      Good one, Ms. Fairy!

    • Missionary Kid

      The way that these were written, it sounds more like a medieval demand for taxation than for a plea for donations from a voluntary church function.

    • http://twitter.com/sandyshores50 Sunny Sands

      The Christian principle of giving is to not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, i.e. not to make a show for others. Obviously much different than what that email is saying.

    • aquaclara

      mmm. Like all the years of wrapping paper sales/contests to support the Catholic school…you buy your mandatory 2 or 3 rolls each year your kids are in school, to show support and make sure your kid’s name hit the gold star on the bulletin board. But NOBODY was ever going to earn/win/buy their way up to the Grand Prize trip to Disney for selling the most rolls. I’m finally running out of paper now. (and I miss it – it was good paper!).
      A much easier fundraiser when compared to Portland, where there aren’t even any mouse ears for the winners. let alone a trip.
      Up the ante, Davey. It might help.

      • aquaclara

        then again, there’s always bingo.

        • hogarthian

          Prize Bingo is the one they need. Thousands of dollars a book and the prize is a scientology ashtray, or a doorknob….. ‘everyone’s a winner here!’

        • TheNextMrsTomCruise

          I preferred the Joe Corbi’s pizza fundraisers. That was good pizza.

          • Midwest Mom

            We had a Monte Carlo Night and Silent Auction/Raffle. (Students couldn’t attend, though.)

          • aquaclara

            Oh, yes! Filled our freezer many times with those!

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        Wouldn’t you think the Catholic Church would have at least beatified Sally Foster by now?

        • TheNextMrsTomCruise

          I had to google Sally Foster. That was a good one, DDD.

        • aquaclara

          Excellent!

    • dagobarbz

      Greed and pride, all in one Big Event! If I were god, I’d be puttin’ on my smiting glove about now…

  • http://www.facebook.com/kim.obrien.775 Kim O’Brien

    Nothing like putting a photo from the early 80’s on a poster to illustrate the fresh message of scientology. Well ..that and Tom Cruises’ front canine leggo tooth

  • http://twitter.com/media_lush media_lush

    Wouldn’t it be fun if someone was to make a bunch of flyers saying that there was going to be more than a million dollars of cash floating around this Org opening and post them around the, er, …. more unsavoury/dangerous areas of Portland. Also let it be known that tiny Davey can expect an attempted Citizen’s Arrest, you know … to put him at ease when he shows up and all that.

    • sugarplumfairy

      You have a very strong perverse streak.. scientology could cure that.. =)

      • Observer

        Or use it.

        • sugarplumfairy

          Lol.. Yep..

        • FistOfXenu

          I hear Mike Rinder’s old job is still open.

    • elar aitch

      Would the unsavoury elements be any match for all those OT powers?

      • ThetaBara

        They can’t even shut us down.

    • hogarthian

      omfg!…. that’s an INSPIRED idea!

      I is know some well dodgy characters, innit (except none of them reside in Portland, sadly). Thousands of dollars? which they have advertised will be in cash pound notes? in these straightened, austere times? Jeez… we could have some fun circulating that piece of intelligence, could we not!

    • http://www.facebook.com/gayle.smith.3994 Gayle Smith

      Oh God, I’m so glad I’m not the only person who thought of that. I was feeling like a bit of a heel, since the point is to get people out of Co$, so they don’t get hurt. But… but… the idea of some homies busting into the Org and jacking the cash in front of Davey gives me the giggle fits. I wonder who would be more dangerous in that situation, the gang bangers with the guns or Davey watching them try to walk out with his hard stolen money.

      • ThetaBara

        Maybe that’s why they’re bringing in the NOI. Miss Cabbage is one step ahead of you!

        • http://www.facebook.com/gayle.smith.3994 Gayle Smith

          Unless the NOI decides to hold their own “fund raiser.”

          • ThetaBara

            LOL.
            Kinda.

      • Observer

        The gang bangers, hands down. Davey would soil himself, dive under a table, curl up in the fetal position and blubber in terror. Little bullies are only brave when they have the upper hand.

        • http://www.facebook.com/gayle.smith.3994 Gayle Smith

          That has such a lovely ring to it.

        • Douglas D. Douglas

          Ah, c’mon. He’d slap ‘em around. It works in his world…

          • Observer

            He might get one in before he gets shanked. lol

  • Missionary Kid

    If this were a normal enterprise, they’d have a preview for the locals, or a run-through to make sure that everything works the way it should. Has anyone caught wind of anything like that, or are they going to do it right before?

    • ThetaBara

      They will probably be tweaking the sound system and lowering the podium right up until the last minute!

      • Missionary Kid

        Imagine what it will look like if DM doesn’t appear, but JT, who’s a lot taller, does and they don’t jack it up.

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      Well, I did find a video on the internet of the COB trying on next Saturday’s costume, er, uniform:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLldzheKJkA

      • Missionary Kid

        Notice, the sea org members are all wearing blue. This was shot when technicolor was first a big deal, so they used all the colors that photographed well in it. Thank you, Dr. Seuss, but to make the movie that long from a short book was stupid.

        • Douglas D. Douglas

          (Actually, this was an original screenplay. And Theodore Geisel HATED it and the whole experience of working with a studio.)

          • Missionary Kid

            I don’t remember that. Apparently, he did like working with Chuck Jones when they did the cartoon. They’d worked together during WWII as a part of the government film effort.

            • Douglas D. Douglas

              I am a BIG fan of 5000 Fingers of Dr. T. It took years to find out about the making of the film. Seuss had a dreadful experience with Columbia studios, and vowed never to work in Hollywood again. It was Chuck Jones who was finally able to work with him years later.

  • Sherbet

    My work output here in the office has been decidedly down-stat during this week of spectacular cos pratfalls. I can’t keep away from the Bunker! Eh, it’s only a job. Keep it coming, Tony et al!

  • Renee G

    Sooo…. 1,111 people confirmed less than two weeks out? Only 617 from Portland itself, the “first Scientology city.” 617 people confirmed. That’s it. In their HOME CITY. Seattle, a short drive away, 121 people. Out of the ENTIRE WORLD they can only muster 1,111 people. With all the members they claim to have, the fact that their goal for this opening is only 3500 people demonstrates the disconnect between the claims and the reality. Somebody, somewhere in that organization has GOT to be doing this math. Someone HAS to realize that the inflated numbers thrown around by David Miscavige just DON’T ADD UP. Where are the teeming millions here?

    • Truthiwant

      The poor souls have all sold their cars to fund the Ideal Org and they have no other way and no money anyway to get to Portland.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        But once in Portland, no cars are necessary. The City of Roses has excellent mass transit!

    • RMycroft

      They’ll be extremely lucky to get 1,111 people. However, they’ll claim that they had over 2,000 in an area that can hold 600.

      • Observer

        And they’ll have the shooped pics to prove it!

      • FistOfXenu

        While the PR department is busy fixing the photos to the sound of humming computers and the Shoop Shoop song
        “If you wanna know
        who’s left that didn’t blow
        they’re in our pix
        (times 5 or 6)
        oh-oh they’re in our pix
        (we’re up to our tricks)”

        apologies to Betty Everett

    • FistOfXenu

      It’s gonna take a shitload of milk cartons to advertise for all those missing millions of $cientarCONonists. And that means we all have to drink more milk.

      • Sherbet

        Pour it onto your Colon Blow.

  • BuryTheNuts2

    Pathetic.

    • Sherbet

      Shouldn’t you be sleeping late and celebrating your birthday?

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Naw, I am in Georgia at a shoot, but it is raining. BTN won’t shoot in the rain…as she is kind of a diva like that!

        • Sherbet

          ‘k, just checking.

        • hogarthian

          BTN!! You’re back! I think you missed the troll with the alternately calibrated crossbow… it was down arrows up the ying yang.

          • BuryTheNuts2

            I eat down arrows like pistachio nuts.

            • q-bird

              LOL BTN2!

  • Sherbet

    “Then Celebrate This” I DO celebrate an empty room with ugly carpeting and nobody sitting in those chairs. Hooray for “this.” Let’s see more of “this.”

    • http://www.facebook.com/gayle.smith.3994 Gayle Smith

      Excellent point. *We* should be breaking out the margaritas and the salsa for every new Org opening.

      • TheNextMrsTomCruise

        True dat, Gayle. Margaritas and salsa go so well with rice and beans.

  • John P.

    I don’t have time for a full dive into the numbers, but several things jumped out at me.

    First, I am not entirely certain that the Portland opening represents a new level of behind-the-scenes desperation for the cult. Scorching rhetoric, perhaps, but a quantum leap in desperation, no. They’re exploiting the emotional hook of the “religious freedom crusade” to appeal to their oldster base emotionally. But as far as doing anything to get bodies in the audience, they bused in lots of Sea Org people from LA and all over to open the Phoenix org, and the Sea Org folks were probably more than half the audience. I am sure that, like attending Battlefield Earth, they signed up for a 14-hour bus ride from LA to catch up on their sleep.

    Second, I found the idea of 617 confirmed public from Portland to be unlikely to the point of being laughable. The PDX metro area has a population of 2.3 million. Compare that to LA where there are perhaps 3,000 active culties in a population of 12.9 million, about six times the size. This would imply the density of active public is a bit greater in PDX, which has never been a really big Scientology town, than in the headquarters of the whole shootin’ match. I would be willing to bet that this is someone’s complete fabrication of the stats, rather than the result of a campaign to contact everyone in Portland who ever bought a book and confirm them. I just don’t think there are that many people who would actually answer the phone when Scientology calls up there among the forests and the rain.

    Third, they have 29 confirmed from San Francisco, which is a one-hour flight away from PDX. This shows the actual collapse of Scientology in a core area, without the inflated numbers from people close to headquarters. Given the hippie and techno-geek traditions in the Bay Area, and given all the other cults that originated or flourished there going back for more than a century (look up Holy City for example), you’d think this would be something of a relative bastion of strength for Scientology. But the real numbers show otherwise.

    Fourth, I love the complete lack of reality on the donation targets by org/region crossed against the confirmed attendance. Hawaii is sending 0 people to the event, but somebody has a target of wresting $50k out of the zero attendees. The RPF beckons, perhaps. Go down the list to the other orgs and it’s pretty ludicrous. The numbers are either utterly arbitrary or complete fantasy.

    Fifth, I love how they plan on getting 100 people from Europe plus 2 people from each Org to come. If you read the posts on Mike Rinder’s blog about the org in Hannover and the one in Berlin, and other posts about the fact that the Dublin org has apparently been padlocked, you would know just how laughable it is that they have two public to send. And to expect people to come from Prague and Budapest to a small American city that (while delightful) is not exactly on the first tier for foreign tourists, is a bit of a stretch. I wonder if they have actually verified that the 15 UK culties that have pledged to attend actually have booked tickets or if they are taking it on face value?

    Sixth, note some of the numbers confirmed from other marginal orgs: zero from Las Vegas is interesting, since the demographics of the metropolitan area are probably somewhat similar to Portland. Six in Austin is interesting because various members of the Feshbach family, among the biggest whales, live there and presumably funnel money to the Austin org (hey, maybe three of the six are Tommy Davis, Jessica Feshback and Kathy Feshbach!). That there aren’t more Scientologists in Austin, a town full of high-income computer geeks, is also of interest. And note the poor numbers from Minneapolis-St. Paul, St. Louis, Kansas City, and Phoenix. Phoenix is the site of a newly-opened Ideal Org, and they’ve got zero confirmed, a nice proof point for “if we built it, they will not come.”

    Last, the fund raising target: They think they’ll pull in $3 million from this. The reality is that they will probably have less than 500 non-staff/Sea Org people there. In other words, $6,000 per head. If some of their stupider whales (*cough* Cartwright *cough* Elfman *cough*) show up they might have a shot at this, but if it’s only rank and file, I sincerely doubt they’ll come anywhere close. Assume 10%, just as they are likely to get 10% of their target of 3,500 people confirmed to actually show up. If they pull in only $300,000 (10% of their financial goals) they will probably come close to losing money over the cost of Miscavige’s jet charter (5 hours, total: $80k), hotel accommodations, bus fare for the Sea Org, etc.

    I’m thinking the only person who they’re trying to impress with this last chance power drive with all the staff on the run but where there’s no place left to hide, is their fearless leader. I certainly don’t think the public are fooled.

    • mirele

      I would note that LA is only a 6-7 hour drive from Phoenix. Of course it may seem like longer, what with those long boring stretches of I-10 between the edge of Phoenix and Palm Springs, and then the nervewracking, nailbiting experience of driving in the LA area. Of course, if you count it as “both ways” then you’re right.

      I just want everyone to know that we here in Phoenix are not in the sticks. That I would reserve for Salt Lake City, which is about 800 or so miles from anywhere (Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, LA, okay, Denver’s 550 miles).

      • John P.

        If I gave the impression that I thought Phoenix was a hick town, I apologize; that wasn’t my intent at all. In fact, I love going to investment conferences at the Biltmore. Since the weather is always great, I love flying right seat in the jet into Scottsdale Airport; the approach on Runway 03 is always a ton of fun because of the scenery (which I can actually see on those approaches because we usually fly VFR on the landing so I’m not glued to the instruments).

        I have also driven those long stretches of I-10 many times in my misspent youth. I have driven it in 6 hours, worried that the CHP would be breathing down my neck the whole way. But I can only imagine the clam bus would take 14 because of the need for frequent rest stops among the geriatric population, and the fact that they would hire the cheapest possible bus line, so there would be plenty of opportunity to reg the passengers while waiting for repairs to be made.

        • Spackle Motion

          Funny how some comments here are about the large number of strip clubs in Portland. I wonder if these people have spent any time in Phoenix.

          • Missionary Kid

            It has more to do with the neighborhood. There is an outdoors store that appears to be a legacy directly across SW Third street that has very high end merchandise, but the rest of that block has the strip clubs in the middle.

            • Douglas D. Douglas

              The Portland Outdoor Store is an institution, but not what I would call a high-end emporium. The other end of the block is anchored by Cameron’s Books, Portland’s oldest book store.

            • Missionary Kid

              There’s nothing cheap in the POS. Their stock all looked like it was great quality. The outside looks like crap, but from what I saw in a quick walk-through, would never be seen in a Big 5 or other generic sporting goods store, and not because of the price.

            • Douglas D. Douglas

              No, it’s not cheap. But it isn’t a luxury goods place. They sell quality merchandise in a fairly no-nonsense environment.

            • Missionary Kid

              You put it better than I could. Thanks.

        • J. Swift

          Hapless Scientologists in Los Angeles will be ordered onto buses for that long nonstop 14 hour bus ride to Portland.

          COB has this handled:

          http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n196/scienowriter/Depend_zpsdcfeb191.png

          • q-bird

            oh lawd lawd how funny it this!!!!!!
            excellent J.Swift!

    • hogarthian

      I think your last two lines sum it all up. Miscavige screams ‘get them in!!, get them ALL in!!, I want spectacular, I want HUGE!!!’ etc…. his top brass know that if they don’t ‘get them all in’, then it’s gonna be all bad. The top brass all know that it’s doomed, but can’t actually say it to each other out loud, they communicate their terror telepathically, like gazelle. And it’s all to impress DM, except that HE also knows that they’re all doomed. They all know that they’re all doomed.

    • Spackle Motion

      I wonder if Scientology eats the costs of getting the SO to/from these event trips or if they make them chip in from their meager pay. It always stumped me why the Mormons force the young men that go on missions to pay for all expenses. These kids are recruiting for the Mormon church and a source of new revenue. Surely the church can cough up some money to help pay for that.

      • richelieu jr

        I had a conversation this afternoon with a group of 9 ‘Elders’ in the Les Halles métro station. They were, as ever, polite and in ties, in spite of the wet, muggy weather.

        An excellent example of a religion that is weird as hell, based on a proven liar, full of nice ppeople and yet, not a nasty scam, obsessed with monehya nd abusing human rights at every turn. I have nothhi g against those guys, but I’d kind of like to give DM the Edward II treatment while Lady Gaga’s ‘Poker Face’ plays on the stereo…

        • Douglas D. Douglas

          Mormonism is the nicest cult on earth, and the people in it are unfailing polite and kind. Don’t be fooled, though. In many ways, they are all about money. The LDS Church in Utah is vastly wealthy, and is headed up by many, many retired businessmen. Also, worthy members of the LDS must tithe 10 percent of their gross income to the Church, or they will lose access to the Temples, and therefore their opportunity to attain the Celestial Glory. No bucks, no Godhead.

          As far as not abusing human rights… well… try explaining that one to the many gay couples across America who still can’t get married, in no small part due to the political power of the LDS Church.

          • ThetaBara

            Mormonism is NOT the nicest cult on earth. I hate to say it but I think the Course in Miracles wins that.
            Mormonism will fuck your underage daughter, and claim scripture. Never forget that.

            • Douglas D. Douglas

              You are so nineteenth century! Mmmmmmm.

            • q-bird

              Agreed about the daughters, not just scripture but tradition!
              There is a cult surrounding ACIM ?

            • ThetaBara

              ACIM = EST 2.0

            • Whiningmachine

              Delicately put, but true nonetheless. Who could forget the horrors of the FLDS?

            • Bella Legosi

              Amen!

          • richelieu jr

            All true, 3D, but Scientology fought against gay marriage as well, and there’s still a difference between that and human trafficking and attempted murder.
            Also I bet you could get any Scientologist in the world to sign up for only giving away 10% (the recommended amount for Christians and Jews, as well, BTW…), as they’d be gaining 90% of what they give back in some cases… Also, for their many faults (Romney high among them) the Mormons do help the poor, something no self-respecting Scientologist would ever be caught dead doing…
            I do take your point, but it reminds me of people who say that because blacks are secretly hated in some quarters and people plot to take away their b-vote that it’s just as bad as slavery (someone even told me it was worse now because then’At least it was honest and open…’) or that it’s just as bad for women in America as in Saudi Arabia because of the glass ceiling and.. whatever…

            • Casabeca

              Yep. Mormons are worse for women, both bad for gays. And fwiw all the dentists in my area are Mormon!

          • http://www.facebook.com/kim.obrien.775 Kim O’Brien

            read Under the Banner of Heaven …totally cray cray

            • stanrogers

              My “I think not…” moment came when I read the very first Sherlock Holmes story, “A Study in Scarlet” and found out that most of the background story was REAL. If Smith was their L. Ron, they had more than their fair shares of DMs following behind.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        Social scientists who have studied LDS claim that the missionary program actually brings in very few new members, but are invaluable in keeping young men at a vulnerable stage in their life loyal to the Mormon Church. The hardships and deprivations they face are a calculated sacrifice.

    • Jgg2012

      Now John, c’mon. Don’t Christians believe that Noah found 2 members of every single species, and placed them on his ark without any of them eating each other? This isn’t much harder.

      • TheNextMrsTomCruise

        For Heaven’s sake Jgg2012, didn’t you see Evan Almighty? Noah didn’t have to find 2 members of every species, they came to the ark themselves to help out. And they didn’t eat each other because they were too busy careening over the mighty tidal wave God sent to cleanse the planet. Sheesh!

        • Jgg2012

          I see. The species responded to the “build it and they will come” mantra Davey now uses for the idle orgs…and they didn’t eat each other because they were not working wog hours. I didn’t know Evan Almighty was written by Scilons.
          Mrs. Cruise, you touched on an important point, which is that Christians don’t have to interpret the Bible literally, and thus Christianity has endured. Scibots must believe everything LRH said (like smoking is good for you) and Davey says (world’s fastest growing religion, never mind the empty orgs) and won’t endure.

          • TheNextMrsTomCruise

            Glad you got that Jgg :)

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        What makes the weird stuff in Scientology “harder” to accept than the weird stuff in other religions is that Scientology rejects the supernatural. If you reject the supernatural (as many do), than religion is pretty much just silly stuff that other people accept by faith. But Scientology claims to be based on verifiable scientific facts and is proven by historic events. To scientologists, engrams are not the equivalent of angels and demons, and Xenu is just as historical as Abraham Lincoln and Julius Caesar.

        That’s the difference.

        • Jgg2012

          “Scientology rejects the supernatural.” That’s too bad, because only a miracle can save the cult now.

        • monkeyknickers

          Ted Koppel made that point really well in his interview with Miscavige. Well, during the 60 minutes in which he sat there watching Miscavige try to finish a sentence in English. Kppel asked, essentially, how can I depend on the veracity of a man who claims to have gone to the Van Allen belt, and Venus? You used to be a catholic, so you understand that these things are issues of faith. And if you’re telling me that’s the case with Hubbard, we can let it go. Basically.

          Miscavige had a mini meltdown.

          That interview never gets old to me.

        • Jgg2012

          Yes, a real religion would not keep stats on members, nor would it make medical claims, and it does have supernatural (prayer, worship, a God). Noah’s Ark or parting the Red Sea
          make sense if you assume divine intervention and a God who can suspend natural law, but, more importantly, Christians do not guarantee any such intervention, whereas LRH guaranteed that dianetics would raise your IQ 50 points, triple your income and so on, and Scilons just accept it. They will also accept these Portland numbers (yes, $50,000 from Hawaii’s zero participants) and who knows what else.

    • monkeyknickers

      How come there’s not celebrity guest listed prominently? Maybe no celebrity guests?

      • Observer

        Yeah, what about their go-to second tier celebrity Nancy Cartwright? She can’t be *that* busy.

        • monkeyknickers

          Maybe they can get Anne Archer. They could tempt her up with the promise of a real life Kennedy and Vuitton clutch, with thanks from the church.

          • Observer

            *snicker*

    • richelieu jr

      I got a pretty long peek inside the Paris org the other day, and there were very few people indeed, and those who were there looked like they had precious little to do (besides gawk at me being shown the door…)

    • Jgg2012

      Can you imagine what it would be like if the IRS revoked it’s tax-exempt status and they had to (snicker) account for all their expenses?

    • Bella Legosi

      Trust me John P. I am one of the 2.3million public and we are not fooled! Also, if you google earth the exact location it is going to be interesting to see them fit more then 100 people around there and not have it disrupt the other businesses and traffic. If this is going to be a “big” thing then that means permits and police. Which I will not be surprised if that is going to be the case. I would also like to know if some of these culties are going to be warmly welcomed in front of the Silverodo club. I would suspect a cult who believes homosexuals are deviants wouldn’t want their business blocked by a bunch of Kool Aid drinkers.

    • anon.adon

      “I found the idea of 617 confirmed public from Portland to be unlikely to the point of being laughable.”

      I agree that number is no doubt inflated and ridiculous, but the Portland “area” probably includes the town of Sheridan, about an hour away, where Scientology’s Delphian School is located. I’m guessing that the students, staff and any local parents are probably getting bused out to the event and adding at least a little boost towards that unlikely attendance number.

      • John P.

        Good point. Thank you for remembering this detail.

        I wonder what the current attendance of the Delphian School is today. I suspect it’s a lot less than capacity… The Daily Mail (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2043801/Inside-secretive-Scientology-school-Delphian.html) said in 2011 that there were approximately 250 students. Add another 100 staff, assume all are coming to the event, and that implies there are 267 public in the greater Portland area confirmed for the event (617 minus 250 minus 100), which still seems high to me. It will be very interesting to see from any spies at the event whether there appear to be a lot of school kids there, and if so, what percentage of the attendees they represent.

        As a comparison, Ireland has a population of 6.4 million, of which 1.8 million live in the Dublin metro area (slightly smaller than PDX), and there seem to be about 40-50 active public involved with the Dublin org. I think this is a reasonable analog for Portland since there is a good combination of over-educated hipsters and blue collar types, neither of which are too likely to fall for the cult’s nonsense. So I’ll go on record as believing that the real number of active public in Portland is less than 100.

  • Truthiwant

    I wrote an article on Leaving Scientology the other day. If anybody is interested it’s here

    http://wp.me/p3a0JR-3S

    Maybe the people in Portland will be interested in a few weeks.

    • Missionary Kid

      I don’t have time to read everything right now, but you’ve written a very cogent explanation of how $cientology sucks people in as well as the environment it came from.

    • sharon brown

      Great piece, ! May you enjoy Real Freedom from here on out !

    • FistOfXenu

      Good one, Truthiwant. Thanks for sharing all that with us.

    • http://www.facebook.com/VictoriaPandora Victoria Pandora

      your short stories are great. you should post a thread on ESMB, they would love it!

    • Missionary Kid

      I’ve finally read it all, and it really is good. I have some nits to pick.

      Hubbard was not a widely popular author. He wrote adventure and science fiction stories, which were for limited markets. He was stuck at a penny a word. He could sling out the words, but they weren’t particularly notable. By the late 40s, there were authors who were far better authors taking over the markets, and he had a style stuck in the 30s.

      The second and last is philosophical. I believe there’s little or no connection between intellect and emotion. There have been some very bright people caught up in $cientology. One of the first things that $cientology conditions a person to do is to suppress emotions, particularly anything negative about the cult.

      You appear to be bright, but your emotions (your yearning for a woman) overrode your other emotions and intelligence.

      • Truthiwant

        Thankyou for those comments.

        In a way you are right when I said that I had a choice and certainly the woman I had met was an important factor. Perhaps it would be better to say that this person put me in a position to make me really question what I was doing with Scientology. However I tried to say that an individual should not be constrained by choice and that he should find out, using the internet, the truth about the cult.

        I appreciate your feedback.

        • Missionary Kid

          Actually, I was talking about the woman who pulled you in when I was writing about your emotions being overridden. The one who allowed you to be yourself helped you out didn’t try to override your emotions. She didn’t tell you to start looking at the internet or to keep away from it.

          I would say that the present woman you’re involved with is a part of a real bridge to total freedom.

          • Truthiwant

            I’m with you now. Thankyou for those comments.

    • ThetaBara

      That was a great article, Truthi. Very well said with much clarity.
      My current obsession vis-a-vis all of this is how to get to the still-ins. I am sure there are some who will never question, but I hope that many can be saved.

      • Truthiwant

        I know exactly what you mean.

        Just two days ago a friend in the Sea Org phoned me up, just to have a chat. He knows that I dislike Scientology and he never even mentioned it. It was me that asked him how things were going and I asked him if he ever considered coming back home and doing something else with his life. He was nostalgic about the good times at work we had together when we were selling things but said that he had a bigger purpose in what he is doing now. I enjoyed speaking to him but those words made me sad.

        • ThetaBara

          I honestly believe that every little bit helps. Thanks for sticking your neck out, and I’m glad you’re on the home team!

        • elar aitch

          It’s great that he has you still for a friend. If he does get out he has someone who can really understand what he is going through.

          • Truthiwant

            I would never let him down and I can only hope that he sees the truth. I am sure, one day that something positive will happen.

  • SciWatcher

    I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  • http://twitter.com/Racnad Racnad

    Though I’m not a Freezoner, then as now I find it ironic that Scientology’s proclamations about “Religious Freedom” don’t apply to those who believe in & practice Scientology without their permission.

    • Missionary Kid

      $ciontology freedom = declaring that you do it our way or not at all.

      • http://twitter.com/Racnad Racnad

        Freedom is Slavery Ignorance is Strength

        • Missionary Kid

          Sounds like Co$.

          • http://twitter.com/Racnad Racnad

            Close enough.

  • http://twitter.com/ImeldaMarcos2 Imelda Marcos

    Sounds like they want org staff to show up at the May 11 fundraiser with the cash in hand and the marks in tow, if possible, but not necessary. Also, there’s way more than 1 million dollars in that CASH QUOTA tally of cities; I think it’s about 1.55 million.

  • BuryTheNuts2

    Bella needs to be our mole at this little shindig in Portland.

    • Missionary Kid

      People should bring signs that are blank or that say, I (heart) Xenu, to screw with the clams.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        Oh yeah!

        • Missionary Kid

          My fantasy is that some clam will object to a news outlet that a blank sign is defamatory towards their religion. Lutz to ensue.

      • ThetaBara

        I’ve been thinking about effective signage, for reaching the clams. This kind of thing is a great opportunity to plant seeds of actual ideas, instead of just mocking them, which is easy to ignore.
        The “Make money” quote would be good since you know they are going in there to get reg’d. “The Stats Don’t Add Up” is another. Stuff like that.

        • Missionary Kid

          Good suggestions. Anybody else got some?

          • ThetaBara

            Thnak you. Tory always says “Learn both sides.”
            I like “Don’t route out, just blow”
            and “If Scientology Works, Why Can’t You Get Rid of Anonymous?”
            It’s a bit long but it’s a really good point.

            • http://www.facebook.com/kim.obrien.775 Kim O’Brien

              i like ” You just read this sign and your head did not explode”

          • Douglas D. Douglas

            I had thought that if I were to go to a rally, my sign would read:
            OT=FAIL
            Tom Cruise/3 Failed Marriages

            But lately I would stick to:
            DOUBT IS OK
            ALL YOUR STATS ARE WRONG.

            • ThetaBara

              Awesome, thanks 3D!

        • Missionary Kid

          I’m starting to collect stuff to put on signs, and your suggestions are some of the very best.

          • ThetaBara

            Thanks, MK. If you’re on WWP (or even if you aren’t) they would love photos of your raid.

            BTW I am also thinking “Do the stats add up?” might be good. Ask a question.

            • Missionary Kid

              I sent them to Tony just after I took them. I feel I have an obligation to let him say whether or not to release them.because he’s been providing so much information for us all. If he wishes to use them, he gets to first

              In a way, they’re now out of date, but in another, it’s kind of a sneak preview. I’m familiar with construction, and if it were a regular commercial job, where opening the doors are necessary ASAP, so that revenues can start coming in, I believe it would have been open by now.

              Most churches assemble in an auditorium, so they usually start holding services as soon as it’s signed off. I know of some that have rented folding chairs and held services because the pews hadn’t come yet.

              This is Co$, so either because they’re using cheap sea org labor, which takes longer than professionals would,(I didn’t see any) or they’re determined to make a splash with an official opening, it hasn’t opened.

              Appearances appear to be so important with DM that they won’t open without making it look like it’s a big deal and plenty of people want to be there. That’s why they’re shipping in all the bodies.

              The reality will be known in the months ahead. Can the local org afford the building?

            • Missionary Kid

              Tony has given his permission. Bella Lagosi has them. I’ll have to ask her if the descriptions tagged to the pictures came through.

              Tony said they weren’t good enough quality. I understand, and he’s right, because they’re of a building. When they left the shades up, I snapped pictures of the inside, but there’s reflections on the windows.

              I was using a PHD camera, (push here, dummy), and I didn’t have any filters to cut out the glare from the reflection when I was shooting through the windows.

      • Still_On_Your_Side

        Blank sign = brilliant!

        • Missionary Kid

          I read somewhere on this blog that it particularly enturbulated the faithful at a demonstration. Someone else has suggested that instead of upsetting them, we should hold up signs that get them thinking, like, “Tired of getting regged?” that point to a way out.

          • q-bird

            Ooo… I like that one a lot MK. I imagine being begged/bullied/bludgeoned for money all the time must be very tiresome & exhausting indeed; certainly it must lead folks towards bitterness, and perhaps questioning the reasons for it.

            I also like “It’s okay to doubt” “Are you allowed to say No to a Reg?”

            “Does LRH make sense to you?” “REALLY?!” “ARE YOU SURE?”

            “How much will your eternity cost you this time?”

            • Missionary Kid

              Those, too, go on my “Sign list.”

          • elar aitch

            regging theta (or regging is not theta)

        • Missionary Kid

          Theta Bara has suggested:

          I like “Don’t route out, just blow”
          and “If Scientology Works, Why Can’t You Get Rid of Anonymous?”
          It’s a bit long but it’s a really good point.

          • Sherbet

            I LOVE that second one, MK.

            • Missionary Kid

              Theta deserves all the credit. I stole if form another place where I’d made the blank sign suggestion, and she came back with that.

  • BosonStark

    Scientology’s historic “Religious Freedom Crusade” sprung up around protesting the lawsuit of one ex-member.That’s what gets their celebratory juice going — sorry, theta flowing?

    Maybe it should be one of their first major religious holidays, and thetans from around the world can gather each year in Portland to give money, to celebrate the cult’s successful litigation against one ex-member years ago.

    Sounds like it’s Kool-Aid mixing time, if they need to “end-cycle” with a noisy distraction about members pointing out abuses and bringing lawsuits.

    • Roger Larsson

      During the Portland trial 1985 and the crusade for religious freedom I was in Hubbard’s bluff and a fighter for $cientology against an aberrated environment. “Why can’t OTs handle the matter while they sleep in their bed?” was my thinking. A few month later LRH, LRH ED 354 INT, WINNING was to read by the brainwashed in orgs.

      “You have won a great victory. You have fought hard and long. You never gave up, you never weakened… For you there was only the thought of winning. Who do I mean by “you?”. Probably the most powerful group of individual OTs that has ever mustered.”

      The certainty of the proud performances bla, bla, bla, let him give the acknowledgement to other
      OTs existence.

      OTs use their boots instead of their powers when they sleep in the bed and so do human beings. Operatin Thetans are human beings and not any Super Power beings.

      • ThetaBara

        “Why can’t OTs handle the matter while they sleep in their bed?”

        EXACTLY.
        If Scientology is so great and powerful, why can’t they get rid of Anonymous? What are we all still doing here?! Seriously! Postulate us away already! I could use the free time.

        • TheNextMrsTomCruise

          Not to mention, I just got new lawn furniture. Not one $cion has mentioned it. Apparently they can’t make out the colors…

  • http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com/ nobs

    $cn has moved around so much in Portland, I have no idea where this opening is taking place. Does anyone have an address (is it on the flyer and I missed it?) ? I’d like to go for either protesting or spying.

    • Missionary Kid

      It’s now located in the corner of SW 3rd Avenue and Oak Street, in the Sherlock building, which is he red brick building.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

        It takes a Sherlock to find it

        • Missionary Kid

          No shit, Sherlock.
          Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

      • http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com/ nobs

        Thanks.

    • Missionary Kid

      The old location at 360 Oak Street, which was located right next door to the Sherlock building, looks like it’s the construction headquarters for the new Co$ building.

    • RMycroft

      They didn’t have the address for the Cambridge opening either. I think the idea is that people will have to phone or email to find out, and then they can be pressured into committing to attend and another tick goes on the list. Plus any horrible SPs who want to protest can’t possibly figure out where the event will be.

      You might want to check to see if CoS has booked any street-closure permits with the city.

      • RMycroft

        I think that they’d have to close Oak Street to have their usual big crowd with Davie at the podium photo op. There is a parking lot behind the org, but there aren’t any entrances on that side, just a blank brick wall.
        http://goo.gl/maps/VKSus

        Hmm. There’s another entrance on 3rd that gets more sun (when there’s sun. Long range forecast shows rain).

      • Missionary Kid

        I’ve posted elsewhere that someone should check the number of people allowed in the building/rooms, and if it’s exceeded to notify the fire marshal.

        • RMycroft

          Do you think those grubby members will be allowed inside to mess up the Ideal org? They can stand outside in the rain. (However, their cash is welcome!)

          • Missionary Kid

            lutz.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        Al most certainly they will close off the half block of Southwest Third between the Sherlock Building and the Outdoor Store.

        There’s a map connected to this article:

        http://djcoregon.com/news/2010/06/30/portland-scientology-church-building-next-to-a-strip-club/

        • Missionary Kid

          Do you think that they might close off Oak Street instead? There aren’t strip clubs, etc. across the street, but a parking lot, and further north, more “respectable” businesses.

          I don’t know what the Saturday traffic is like in that area, but I’d suppose it would be light.

          • Douglas D. Douglas

            You may be right. Officially, the “front” of the building faces Third. But as it is on the corner, both facades are essentially identical. The staging would be easier by utilizing Oak Street and the parking lot across the street. (Of course, cramming everyone onto Southwest Third would make the crowd look just that much bigger, now wouldn’t it?)

            • Missionary Kid

              I just went to Google’s street view, and (including parking) Oak is smaller at 4 lanes, while third has 5. Besides, there’s a taco truck on the corner there, so the crowd will look bigger and they can feed themselves while they listen to blather.

            • Douglas D. Douglas

              I have visited Portland often, and know the area quite well. I would LOVE to be there on May 11, but it’s just not possible. The area is very dicey– a no-man’s land between Old Town and downtown. On a Saturday afternoon they should have no trouble closing off anything they want. Saturday night is another matter!

    • Midwest Mom

      nobs! I miss seeing you here! I hope to see you visit more often, my friend :)

      • http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com/ nobs

        Thanks.

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      The new Ideal Org is located in the Sherlock Building on the corner of Southwest Third and Oak downtown. You can’t miss it– it’s directly across the street from the Silverado, a gay strip club.

      • aquaclara

        “The Sherlock Building”….hehehe. Methinks COB missed the irony in that.

      • http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com/ nobs

        Who wants to go? Hey Jefferson H.! You in? We could wave to DM, blow him a kiss. He’d LOOOVE to see your smiling face in the crowd. LOLOLOLOL

  • dagobarbz

    I don’t understand these amounts. Why is Hawaii put down for $50,000 while San Diego, which lost its Ideal Org property AND their Applied Scholastics Academy recently, is down for $200,000?

    Where is that pitiful lil’est org gonna come up with $200,000? DM’s pet richie, that Duggan guy, kicked in the last of the money needed for 8 acres of land and moldering buildings because SD couldn’t raise it. Neither could they keep up with the taxes.

    I’m surprised they don’t just put out notices “ATTENDANCE MANDATORY, BRING CASH MONEY.”

    It’s a long ride from San Diego to Portland, almost 24 hours by train. The remaining True Believers are bound to enjoy it, and the regging at the end sounds really entertaining. They want CASH and they want it now!

    The mask is off. It’s a money-grubbing little cult in its declining stages. I almost feel sorry for them. It can’t be very inspiring to see the thing you believe in plummeting like a gut-shot loon. That’s gotta hurt…and I helped!

  • Lil Davey

    You know, considering chaos theory, in some twisted way, it may be better if the few remaining scientologists get crush regged into oblivion. Miscavige dies without progeny. The remaining have progeny without prospects, unable to support the vestiges of the evil cult, and unable to ruin the prospects of others. End of cult.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Barb-Snow/2262077 Barb Snow

    Don’t they worry that by demanding cash in hand of attendees they might push some people to discover that they have a headache that night so can not attend (or get screwed).

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

    At one point you have “MV[Las Vegas?]” Clearly (no pun intended) “MV” stands for “Mountain View”, the only org in the Bay Area that still has some semblance of life.

    • TonyOrtega

      Fixed. Thanks.

  • Sherbet

    I just reread this part of the letter: “You never know, there could be more but they are calling in and scheduling like mad…” I am literally laughing out loud at that boast. People really believe this cos hype. They really do. It’s pretty funny.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

      I got a wry chuckle out of that line, although I couldn’t summon up a laugh out loud. I did get a visual of DeeDee from Phoenix delivering the line, although Phoenix is a total no-show, so maybe even DeeDee has run out of fake enthusiasm.

      • Sherbet

        You’re right, Robert. It definitely is a DeeDee-esque line.

    • Still_On_Your_Side

      Do you think the writer will ever realize that she subconsciously wrote the truth? “You never know, there could be more BUT they are calling in and scheduling [out] like mad.”

      • Sherbet

        Good point, SOYS! I also was reminded of telethons, where five rows of people manning the phones are sitting idle — maybe four people actually are answering calls — yet there is canned audio of phones ringing off the hook, just to give the appearance of crazy, busy, activity.

        • Midwest Mom

          Dialing……..

          • Sherbet

            “All of our bloodsuckers are busy emptying other clients’ pockets, but your money is important to us. Please hold, and the next available vampire will dig his fangs into your neck as soon as possible.” (Cue Chill E B “on-hold” music.)

            • Midwest Mom

              ha ha! You are on a roll today, Sherb! ;)

            • TheNextMrsTomCruise

              Yeah she is MM. I can’t read her many bon mots fast enough, much less respond to them

            • Sherbet

              Thank you, MM and Mrs. TC. I’ll be here all week. Wakka Wakka.

  • Missionary Kid

    A suggestion: perhaps someone should check on the size of a crowd allowed in the building. The fire marshal might be interested if it’s exceeded.

    • Midwest Mom

      ^^^ To be read in the sarcasm font. ^^^

      • Missionary Kid

        Believe it or not, I wasn’t being sarcastic. The rooms facing the street aren’t very big, and they have interactive displays and benches that take up room.

        Fire marshals usually have police powers. I know of a play that was shut down in the middle because the promised fire safety measures hadn’t been met.

        If they crowd too many people into a space, the fire marshal has the right to start kicking people out, and, if they don’t respond, he can shut an event down.

        The downside is that Co$ would probably start bragging about the crowd crush.

  • Ivan Mapother

    And in the Portland Tribune Sunday 5/12/13 edition:

    Wow, there must have been 10,000 people there for the grand opening. I’m not a Scientologist, but they have some really interesting things I’m going to check out. It’s really nice to see such a great building in downtown Portland. I was impressed the the number local officials who came to speak on behalf of the fastest growing religion in the world. Mr. Miscavige is a very powerful speaker, the Church is very lucky to have a man of his character at the helm.

    Send your bogus raves now and wise up the Tribune to what’s coming.

    • Missionary Kid

      Great sarcasm!!! I love it.

    • Real Shellback

      I’m not a Scientologist,… but I write just like one, my grammar is stilted, I have tones of run-ons and I just happen to randomly know who the leader of Scientology is and how his name is spelled. Also; he a very powerful speaker! Did I hear a cock just crow thrice?

      • ThetaBara

        You forgot “and I parrot standard PR lines for the fastest failing religion in the world.”

    • http://www.facebook.com/kim.obrien.775 Kim O’Brien

      10,000? how do you illustrate that number with clay ? you might be able to get 10,000 people to get together in Portland for a great farmers market and some good weed …but not to show up to see a little midget with a bad spray on tan talk about ” knowingness ” .

  • Sokramor

    Strange, it seems like Disqus was eating my last post… so apologies if this shows up twice. I just wanted to link an article I found about Tom Cruise’s movie roles and their parallels to Scientology, Thetans and the like. *supiciously eyes Disqus and hopes it will post this time* http://www.dailyfreeman.com/articles/2013/04/30/entertainment/5eb10cdc-f2fd-43c6-8a8b-f683993a90ef.txt?viewmode=default

    • Ze Moo

      That review has shown up at a lot of newspapers and websites. It is very well written and it holds Cruise responsible for his support of the CO$.

      • Sokramor

        I like how all this information has finally reached the “mainstream” – thanks to blogs like this one, and a lot of brave people speaking out against the “church”. Kudos to you all, you’re amazing! :)

        I was glad to discover that German media has caught up on Sci shenanigans, too. A review of “Oblivion” by Süddeutsche Zeitung (Southern German Newspaper) talks extensively about thetans, Xenu and OT abilities: http://www.sueddeutsche.de/kultur/oblivion-im-kino-der-letzte-raeumt-die-traumata-weg-1.1645898 If somebody is interested, I can try to translate it, but I don’t guarantee it will be more readable than a Sci flyer ;)

        • http://twitter.com/media_lush media_lush

          I put it through google translate and the last paragraph is the only one worth reading….. it just sounds so much better when translated by a computer:

          “As “Operating Thetan VII” is the way to be able to move things without touching them Tom Cruise. It can also affect humans and animals telepathically. That’s really true: When he swings around on a motorbike in the film, pulls on his wraparound sunglasses and driving through the desert in an upright heroic, almost the whole cinema transmitted telepathically a medium intense feeling of embarrassment. Wow.”

          …. couldn’t have said it better myself

          UPDATE: – JUST READ THE WHOLE THING….. ER, REFRIGERATORS? (LULZ) …. uncannily accurate and hilarious!

          “According to this religion people were originally only aliens that were taken 75 million years ago by the evil dictator Xenu in refrigerators on the earth, under the pretext that they would be there to undergo a tax audit. In fact, however, they were put into volcanoes and blown up with hydrogen bombs in the air. Electric traps caught their radioactive souls (“thetans”), which were then subjected minions of Xenu brainwashed, what they believed in such crazy stories like that of Jesus. To Scientologists, you now want to get rid of this brainwashing: other, “bad” thetans everywhere put a in the body, and finally from this body itself this you have to be in hundreds rather expensive “auditing” to the trauma from past life recall.”

          • elar aitch

            Glass shower…the mind boggles

          • Sokramor

            Amazing, isn’t it? I couldn’t stop giggling :D (And people say we Germans don’t have a sense of humor…)

  • Snuzey

    I think you should all give this poor fella a break. I mean he must spend most of his days ranting at the few staff he has left, making his daily phone call to Tom Cruise, having his hair quaffed, his make-up done, boiling at the latest Rinder/Rathbun post, getting the latest amendments re-etched onto his titanium discs, having his daily PI squad reports in, and finally he must have a go on a human punch bag down the local Hole.

    There is nothing else left in this poor overworked brain to think of something new. His day is FULL!!

    • elar aitch

      So he gets up in the morning, looks at the bunker, morning tea – one of the MRs. After lunch a bit of ESMB or Tipping Point and then some WWP at night. Shit, I’m living the same life as David YSCOHB Miscavige.

  • aquaclara

    There is just so much great stuff here to look at…a set of juicy leaked emails, a big upcoming party, stats galore, $$$ regging objectives, the hyperbolic glowing poster, a bit of cult heritage hearkening back to the glory days, a Hole reference, a new empty org, plus the expectation of some overblown PR and shooped pics to come….this is an IDEAL Friday all around the globe today!
    152 comments and it’s not even 11 am here on the East Coast. I can’t wait to hear all the comments.

  • Ze Moo

    “if for some odd reason the donor can’t come along on the trip, then get
    the money in hand and announce it for them — it can still count as long
    as it’s paid.”

    You have to prioritize your accomplishments for DM. You need not be present to ‘win’. Previous ‘alliances’ were only a few hundred miles apart. Now they are dunning the whole world. Watsamatta? Not enough clams in Oregon and Washington to pay the vig? This whole think screams of a photo op and ego strokin for the dwarfenfürher.

  • Snuzey

    I’m going to help him out with one of his daily jobs, to free him up a bit for new ideas. Although I reserve number 43 for DM himself. I expect a personal Thank You from him. Or a YSCOHB.

    • Michael Barger

      Swearing like a Boss!

    • hogarthian

      I LOVE this! It’s so… so, errrr….. it’s SO ME!!!

      • Missionary Kid

        Watch your fukkin language. ;-)

      • Captain Howdy

        It was written by you or one of your tribe. “Arsehole”?

    • ThetaBara

      YSCOHB would be a great username, if anyone needs one. ;-)

    • 1subgenius

      Saved for future reference.

      • Snuzey

        I think when (DM) Mfm opens this latest org, he is going to be Lra when making his Lob speech as no doubt he will be Piw as so few will turn up. Sfc.

    • Captain Howdy

      Can I get that in a black XL?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

    A thought: is that figure of “3500” basically what the REAL membership of CoS boils down to these days? We have the old estimates of something like 40,000 in the US but that was before Debbie Cook, Katie Holmes, other exodus-inspiring events. Maybe one of the main points of the Portland Orgapalooza is for them to take a census, call up everybody that they think is still a “public” (they have to know that some of those pretending to be still in are like our Bob, just playing along to avoid disconnection troubles) and see how many of them are really still buying it.

  • Still_On_Your_Side

    “…First thing — your attendance (i.e. you that is reading this), along with a strong delegation from your org area — bring your finest Humanitarians, your finest OTC members and a great deal of potential for Ideal Org movement that weekend…”

    Aside from the problem of grammatical errors (“you that is”?), this email makes no sense. Why pressure 3,000 plus people to attend? Taking into consideration the cost of international travel, the average amount of money each individual will be spending is $1,000. That means as much as $3 million dollars could be spent just getting there. Even if it is just $1 million, what’s the point? All that money spent simply to stroke Miscavige’s ego. Imagine how much good that money would do in poor areas of the world. Imagine how much good could be done with money from the sale of all the empty Orgs?

    And where is the Nation of Islam in this charade?

    • hogarthian

      Yup… the grammatical errors are belly achingly funny, considering.

  • hogarthian

    Y’know… when I’m commenting I always try to get into the minutiae, the ‘deets’, the names, the players, who was what and who is now something (in the ‘church’). But I can’t, because I’m new. Well, I can a bit now, ‘cos I’m obsessed. But even if I did know all of the history and the current politics I’d still want to say the same thing when I read the above…. “What the fucking FUCK is WRONG with these people?!?!?!” It really does, absolutely, beggar belief! I understand (kind of) the whole brainwashing aspect, being part of a group, having nothing to start a new life with, having to sever family and friends. But for fuck sake!!!! I am, truly, perplexed.

    edit: so, clearly, when I can’t say anything intelligent, I resort to profanity…. it really is the only way forward for me.

    • http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com/ nobs

      Yaaaaay for profanity!! We love us an obsessed newbie. Ah, the perplexity. We know it well.

  • Midwest Mom

    I couldn’t help but notice that their use of Hubb’s “tech” resulted in them misspelling the word “wuss”; they spelled it “WUS”. The Western United States Schmucks need to do a better job of proofreading their promotional materials.

    I’ve also never heard of a church that solicits money and expects people from other areas, states or countries to be in attendance upon its renovation. If there aren’t enough people in Portland’s Sci community to attend this event willingly, it’s clear evidence that there aren’t enough active members in the Portland Co$ who will support the church with participation or monetary support.

    Plus, what’s with the giant bows and balloons that they always have on their Idle Morgue buildings? It makes it look more like a car dealership than a church. In fact, it’s not a very ecclesiastical practice, Davey. ///Bonk!\ You also get a Midwest bonk on the head for using the term “Grand Opening”. Churches don’t have “Grand Openings”, they have Church Dedications and Consecrations and do so as part of their church service or holy Mass, which also features the blessing of the building and its members. ///Bonk!\

    Davey, you keep disappointing me.

    Sigh………

    • Missionary Kid

      LOL Mom, please don’t give them ideas. Let them stay using “Grand Openings” so we can point, degrade, and laugh. Let them continue to act the way they do so they can be exposed as the scam they are.

      Davey doesn’t disappoint me, because he screws up. He’s meeting my expectations.

    • sizzle8

      WUS is the acronym for ‘West US’, one of the continental areas that they divide the USA into. They constantly have stat contests of WUS vs EUS.

      • Midwest Mom

        Yep, and when you add Schmucks to the end of the acronym, it becomes WUSS. ;)

        The Wusses VS the Euss (pronounced Ewwws) What a match up!

    • Still_On_Your_Side

      MM, you bonked the nail on the head. Davey is a car salesman and he has turned his church into a network of Liberace-style car dealerships without any cars to sell, but with the same kind of quotas.

      • TheNextMrsTomCruise

        Please don’t degrade Liberace’s memory by comparing him to Wee Tiny Fists. At least Liberace knew how to color coordinate, and his makeup was flawless, unlike Wee Davey’s painted on tan.

        • RMycroft

          I doubt he uses spray-tan. He has his own personal tanning bed. What you’re seeing is probably all the makeup and latex they have to coat him with for events so that he doesn’t look like a 2rd year meth student.

          • Missionary Kid

            I was thinking that he was a ‘roid user. The unstable, undeserved, displays of anger fit ‘roid rage.

      • Guest

        Liberace as a salesman? You betcha!

        • Douglas D. Douglas

          Grr! This is my photo and above is my caption– which ended up posting separately as “Guest.” What gives?

          • Captain Howdy

            One of the all-time great black comedies “The Loved One”. Should be mandatory watching for all..MAKE IT SO!

            • q-bird

              And so it may be. Just added it to my queue. Done deal.

        • Douglas D. Douglas

          This is supposed to be captioned, “Liberace as a salesman of big, empty pretty boxes for dead people? You betcha!”

      • Guest

        Liberace selling big, empty, pretty boxes for dead people? You betcha!

        • Douglas D. Douglas

          Grr! This is my caption and below is my photo– which ended up posting separately as “Guest.” What gives?

    • aquaclara

      oooh, noooo. I like the bows!

  • Bert Schippers

    I thought I should point out something great about Portland’s new Idle Org location: There are 3 strip clubs within one block! (including one for women only!). Need a break from course or post? Get reamed by your senior? Stuck in ethics? Audited past a win? Red-tagged at the examiner? No problem, just walk across the street and you’ll have a hottie in your lap in no time! Just don’t let on that it’s where you’ve been, or you’ll be in more trouble soon…. Note: I’m not knocking strip clubs…I’ve had more “case gain” in those than I did in the church….(much cheaper too). Personally, I’d recommend Club Rouge 1 block away…

    • hogarthian

      But they can’t avail themselves of some ‘paid-for’ ego stroking…… they ain’t got no cash! ;-)

    • Missionary Kid

      The three respectable businesses are the Portland Outdoor Store and the Cameron Book store that bookend that block, and the grocery/deli next to Cameron.

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        I am really wondering what the management of Cameron’s Books thinks of all this. It’s the oldest independent book store in Portland. (Powell’s is bigger, but Cameron’s is older.) Cameron’s tends to be very liberal– but there’s no telling how they will react (if at all) to the new neighbors across the street.

        • Missionary Kid

          I talked to the guy running it, and he was unhappy that anything with the name church was going in so close. He also said that some clams came in and wanted him to put up a Dianetics display in the crowded store. He chased them out.

          • Douglas D. Douglas

            Wouldn’t it be cool if someone got him to put up a display of “Going Clear,” “Inside Scientology” and “Beyond Belief?” And a few used copies of “Barefaced Messiah” and “The Scandal of Scientology!”

            • L. Wrong Hubturd

              Yes, yes, yes. Who’s local and can get their stats straight up and vertical? This is a MUST happen idea Dougie Doug!

            • Missionary Kid

              If there was a profit in it, he’d do it.

    • grundoon

      Close to the org, and open late at night. Perfect for org staff moonlighting for rent money.

  • Jefferson Hawkins

    I can just smell the panic in those emails. They’ve revealed that the most attendance they expect from the Portland area itself is 600, and I’m sure that’s optimistic. If “COB” were to show up for an event and only 600 people came, that would be a “flap” and heads would roll. Embarrassing or upsetting COB (Miscavige) is the highest of high crimes these days. So they are scrambling. It is notable that Scientology has gotten so small that they have to shuffle people all over the country to assemble enough people in one place to make their events look even halfway respectable.

    • Sherbet

      I love it when Mr. JH drops in! He always knows the story behind the story. Have a seat, Mr. H.

    • RMycroft

      As well as donor fatigue, they’re probably suffering from attendance fatigue too. I suspect that a higher percentage than usual lied when they said said they’d be coming just to get the bloodsuckers off the phone or out of their face.

    • aquaclara

      Oh, wow. Love the comments, Jeff.
      I was just thinking that If I sent out an email today to my friends and family, saying we were having a keg, wine, scotch, hoagies and wings, chips and dip, for a backyard event tomorrow, we’d have 85 people here in a heartbeat. If my older adult kids told their friends, we could easily top 150 in a day with zero effort, limited only by the fact that two of the four kids are out of town, and the back yard is only so big.
      Portland has another week or so to plan, and a few years of advance notice. They should also be able to count on a couple of lesser dignitaries that have to show up at something, plus a couple reporters and the security guards. That’s 30 people right there. If public invite their kids, bargain with free babysitting with neighbors and family members, it surely couldn’t be that hard to hit a good number. Even for a cult.
      BUY HOT DOGS and SOME BEER, for xenu’s sake.

      • Missionary Kid

        Please, don’t give them helpful suggestions. They know how to have fun. After all, they’re the funnest people on the planet, and they all read this blog. ;-)

        • aquaclara

          don’t worry. It’s just a set-up so the fire marshal thing will work.

          • Missionary Kid

            Lutz.

        • coonellie

          Well, I’m not sure if this counts as a helpful example (I hope not!), but I have a feeling part of the 600 attendees would be those Delphi students on a “field trip.”

          • Missionary Kid

            You’re probably right, unfortunately.

    • Observer

      “Embarrassing or upsetting COB (Miscavige) is the highest of high crimes these days.” I long for the day when those around Miscavige wake up and realize that he is just one sad wee little man who only has power over them because they give it to him, and in that moment of realization they take it back.

    • Still_On_Your_Side

      Ironically, it may be less expensive to pay people to attend. If it cost 1 to 3 million dollars to fly/bus members in, why not hire extras to fill the crowd?

    • Ms. B. Haven

      Jeff, I would be interested in your opinion regarding attendance at these events. If it is true that loads of SO members and org staff are bussed in to bolster the numbers, what do you think the typical reaction is amongst these folks who see fellow staff in such large numbers rather than scientology public? I would think that it would be likely to give someone pause, but when I was ‘in’ I was just mission staff and public. Would a typical SO member just not ‘see’ what was really going on around them?

      • Missionary Kid

        In Nillsson’s The Point, the Rockman says, “You see what you want to see, you hear what you want to hear.”
        They don’t want to see. That’s why the cult is able to exist.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

          “I have squandered my resistance, for a pocket full of mumbles, such are promises– all lies and jest, still a man hears what he wants to hear, and disregards the rest…” (Paul Simon, The Boxer)

          • Missionary Kid

            One hell of a wordsmith, isn’t he?

      • RMycroft

        They’ve been busing people between the Toronto and Buffalo orgs since more than 10 years ago. (Being forced to watch a DM event recording twice must be painful!)

      • grundoon

        It’s a great opportunity to compare stats with the other orgs.

    • John P.

      Jeff, a reasonable model suggests that there are perhaps 3,000 active public in the greater LA area, which has six times the population of the PDX metro area. And that is an area historically rife with Scientologists, particularly including family of staff and Sea Org. For there to be 600 active public in PDX would boggle the mind because that implies the density of Scientologists in PDX is equal to or slightly greater than the incidence of Scientologists in LA. I can’t believe that is the case.

      So when you say “I’m sure that’s optimistic,” you are being far too kind in your assessment of the credibility of these numbers. They are completely pulling the 600 local public number out of their ass. It will be interesting to see what happens when they get maybe 100 locals, and similar low turnouts from the other areas. I predict it will be like the PHX opening — another Potemkin village with maybe 300 public and a like number of staff and Sea Org in plain clothes bused in from LA.

      • Renee G

        Supplemented with “hired extras,” of course, carefully sequestered from the”public” and the Sea Org who are all herded around like cattle lest they be exposed to the truth.

  • dwayners13

    You have to give the author of this email some credit for being honest about the main objective, getting members to fork over ‘cash’. While I doubt any scientologist needs to be reminded about the pressure that will be put on them to donate at this event, he makes it clear that they should be ready with ‘cash’. I was actually expecting the letter to specify ‘small, unmarked bill”, however I’m sure as long as they meet their quota/stats (thus avoiding a trip to the RPF), any denomination is welcome.
    This letter also demonstrates the devotion or degree of pressure put on some scientologist, as they are willing to pay the expense of flying/driving to Portland, knowing full well they will hounded several times a day to ‘prove’ their devotion to LRH & Scientology, by handing over large sums of ‘cash’. In fact, failing to hand over enough funds could even be viewed as an ethics violation. Sounds like a fun time to me!

  • http://www.facebook.com/marc.headley Marc Headley

    This charade will go on until it hits a certain point. For years, there have not been any NEW orgs. All of these orgs being opened are existing orgs that are being moved or renovated. In order for scientology to actually expand they need to be opening NEW locations that do not replace existing locations and get new members signing up and paying for services.

    The one thing they have been doing on a regular basis is CLOSING locations. There have been locations that were combined, missions have been closing at a very rapid rate and all facilities world wide have seen a drastic reduction in the amount of paying public coming in.

    When I left in 2005, there were 1 billion dollars in payed for but undelivered services worldwide. They call this statistic “Advanced Payments”. If all paying members came in to orgs to do services they had already paid for, it would take hundreds of years for these services to be delivered. And that entire time they would be getting little to no new income.

    This is why the shift has occurred on what they are raising money for. They have to stop taking in money for services as they cannot deliver the ones that have been paid for already. In many cases, current orgs don’t even have the staff or personnel to even deliver services they raised money for in the past.

    The current cases going on right now are very critical. Some have said that Scientology has stockpiled in upwards of 1-2 billion dollars. If you factor in that they have at least 1 billion dollars of debt owed to their paying members, this starts to change the dynamic when members start suing and asking for money back.

    I hear from current “scientologists” all the time. They are well aware that the ship is sinking. The only reason they stick around is to keep in contact with friends and family. I would say that at least 95% are staying for this reason alone. The other 5% have so much Kool-Aid in their system, they cant see straight. 2.5% percent of the people are just as crazy as Dave Miscavige and are there because of that.

    South Coast Mission in California is the perfect example of Scientology worldwide. They are one of the biggest and best producing scientology centers in the world. They had one person finish the Purification Rundown last month. This is one of the first most major services you can do in Scientology.

    There are approximately 20,000 people that live in the same zip code of the South Coast Mission. At one person per month, it will take them around 1600 years just to get the people that live in their zip code through the Purification Rundown. The Purification Rundown takes considerably less time to get through than getting Clear.
    If it will take them 1600 years to get through the Purification Rundown, one can easily calculate that it would take them at least 2000 years to clear this same amount of people.

    Once you explain this math to a current scientologists who has been beat up for money for the last 5 years, it is not a leap for them to walk away. If they don’t have any family on staff or in the Sea Org, they make the jump even faster.

    I did not once throw anybody under the bus. I did not talk about Xenu or LRH. I just explained that the math does not work out in their favor. That’s it.

    It sure does not help that no amount of OTs with awesome curtain tech can’t even control a bunch of people showing up with crazy masks and cupcakes…

    P.S. South Coast Mission would love to hear from you on their Facebook page!
    https://www.facebook.com/southcoastmission?fref=ts

    • aquaclara

      Love the math and the logic. The South Coast Mission has a website that reminds me of a friend’s yoga site. Very fooffy. Oh, and the Mission somehow forgot to use the word “Scientology” over there.
      Glad you’re hearing from those still in…..they are reaching out to the right person.

    • hogarthian

      I’ve done that south coast mission fb page thing. And I said the C word. It’s now closed for comments, sadly.

      • Casabeca

        British-style swearing is not properly appreciated here ;-).

        • Captain Howdy

          Exactly! It’s a load of bollocks. English blokes and birds don’t know how to swear properly in..uh..English.

    • aquaclara

      .

    • http://twitter.com/ImeldaMarcos2 Imelda Marcos

      This math is mind-boggling and excellent.

    • Sidney18511

      I just visited the Facebook page and this was posted yesterday.
      Good morning everyone, we had a super exciting evening last night!! A great seminar with over 15 people!!!

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        And this is considered about the most successful mission they have going! Woo hoo!

    • elar aitch

      BFG channelling John P. Purrrrfect start to my weekend

    • Sherbet

      Did you see little Portia on the April 10 post? She’s a little girl!

    • Johan

      95% are staying to keep ‘connection’ with family & friends you say – unless the 95% are related to or friends with the 5% this ratio is probably not right (maybe used for emphasis ?). Anyway, I am sorry to be a wet blanket – the cult lost a large portion of its membership before ( early eighties with the David mayo breakaway I think), and managed to carry on another 30 years!
      You do raise one interesting possibility, maybe if people expressed their doubts to their friends and family they will discover that everyone wants to leave! I can dream…..

      • http://www.facebook.com/marc.headley Marc Headley

        95% of the ones I hear from. I cannot account for the rest…

  • Douglas D. Douglas

    I am still relatively new at all this. I am intrigued by the line “The First Scientology City” on the flyer. A quick search found that no one (outside of the CoS and its critics) uses this term. Further, this has been applied to at least four different cities: Portland, San Francisco, Perm (Australia) and Clearwater.

    Can anyone here enlighten me on what, exactly, this term “The First Scientology City” means? I have friends up in Portland– maybe they need to be, you know, warned that they live in a Scientology City.

    • BosonStark

      It sounds like they’ve deputized the citizenry as honorary thetans for the purposes of cash extraction. Portlanders should check for a pod in the garage, just in case. Hey, before the Buffalo Org opened up, twice, no one had even heard of Buffalo. Scientology put them on the map.

      • BuryTheNuts2

        I call bullshit!
        It was the hot wings man!

        • http://www.facebook.com/gayle.smith.3994 Gayle Smith

          TruFax!

      • John P.

        no one had even heard of Buffalo.

        Everyone has heard of Buffalo. It’s the capital of “Canada.”

        • Ze Moo

          Buffalo was famed for its chicken wings and beef on kimmelwick long before it became the capital of Canada. Every once and a while someone heard about the Bills and Sabres.

    • Bella Legosi

      They are stepping on their dicks again. Portland really accepts all types of crazy and unfortunately that does include Co$

      I find it insulting that they are saying what they are about my city. Perople here really dont give a fuck and know they are all brainwashed. Co$ needs to hype this because of all the bad press and investigations this past year.

      I cant wait! In the words of my favorite angel, Castiel, “This is going to be sooooo much fun.”

      • Douglas D. Douglas

        Do it! Do it! Do it!

        • Bella Legosi

          Oh I plan to……..however, I am getting the feeling there may not be many there to “enlighten” the Co$ crowd. I may be a Lone Wolf on the 11th!

          :(

          • Douglas D. Douglas

            Well, howl for the bunch of us!

  • Still_On_Your_Side

    Hawaii, Phoenix, Las Vegas and Santa Barbara, all “0.” Given the cult’s need to lie about stats, something odd is going on here. Why not just say “5,” then claim an auto accident prevented attendance? Is there a rebellion afoot?

  • hogarthian

    Their guilt-ridden fundraising reminds me of this. Those across the pond may not have heard of her, and trust me, it ain’t for the faint of heart. The gist is…. they’re based in northern England (hence the semi-decipherable accent), she regularly pins down her colleague for charitable donations to her cause du jour. Hilarious… but filled with profanity. Warning: you WILL be addicted to her from now on.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAN0vw4sSyE

    • Ze Moo

      Catherine Tate is lowbrow hilarious….

  • mook

    Mark Bunker has been tweeting about Thomas Wheeler, the possible new FCC head, being CoS connected because he was on the board of EarthLink a while back and did the purif in 1998.

    • TonyOrtega

      A Tom Wheeler did the Purif in 1998. This Tom Wheeler joined Earthlink board about five years later, years after Earthlink was CoS-related. Still no evidence yet that the FCC Wheeler has had anything to do with Scientology.

      • ThetaBara

        Thanks, Tony.

  • Jgg2012

    The Portland org is already open, and they already moved and “re-opened” it once, and its empty. Why don’t they try a new place?

    • Missionary Kid

      I don’t quite understand what you’re saying. The storefront was at 360 Oak. That was next door to the new facility in the Sherlock building (which hadn’t opened a couple of weeks ago). 360 Oak looked like it was being used as a construction supervisor’s office.

      Co$ owned the building at 812 SW Washington, and that’s where they’ve been sending people temporarily until the new Sherlock building opens. The signs are up, and the interactive displays with flat screen TVs had been delivered as of a couple of weeks ago in the Sherlock. Supposedly, Co$ is selling the 812 SW Washington because they couldn’t install a place large enough to hold the hundreds of people they expected at meetings.

      • Jgg2012

        The storefront is empty; the new building will be emptier.

        • Missionary Kid

          Yes, but it has all those displays with the flat screen TVs with touchpads below them in the middle panel, facing benches. That’s got to bring people in. Snark.

          The displays looked new. They could have been moved from the old storefront, but I doubt it. People walking by will be able to see the displays and people using them, but, from everything I saw when they left the shades up, the stuff that they have on them is all initial indoctrination crap, like “The Way to Happiness” and IAS and “Scientology Around the World”

          That took up a lot of the space. They didn’t have any literature yet, but it looked like it was supposed to be put on the end of the displays, because there was a heavy steel L-bracket there. It was all show.

  • Dean Fox

    I do believe it’s all for our LULZ. Although they may see it differently.

    Whether they make their quotas or not, and officially I expect they will since the church of scientology isn’t above fudging for “success”, I’m sure we’ll find something to amuse us.

    Wish I was in Portland on the 11th.

  • richelieu jr

    This is so calling for a little photoshopping and then circulating to the Scientology active list..

    “If you remember THIS (Heber shot) then remember HIM:

    or

    “If you remember THIS (Heber shot)

    While ‘This’ is happening (‘Ideal’ opening shot),

    Heber is still in the Hole”

    Freedom for Heber. Freedom for religion.

  • Jgg2012

    Yogi Berra, when asked by his wife if he and his teammates were still going to a certain newly opened restaurant, replied “nobody goes there–it’s too crowded.” That remark has been ridiculed a few times, but with Davey it seems to make sense. Oh, the orgs are empty, but that’s because they are not big enough!

  • richelieu jr

    Very generous of them to still allow the cash to count even if the donor isn’t physically there to give it (or perhaps aware of having given it?)

    “$CIENTOLOGY: Where It’s the Thought That Doesn’t Count.”

    • hogarthian

      lol!

  • 1subgenius

    Some indies on Mike’s blog, who got invites, are calling and emaiing about whether Heber is going to be there.

    • sharon brown

      Any interesting responses ? Lmao ! I hate caller ID or I’d be calling too! Do you have Prince Albert in a can ?!! Ah, the good old days !!

  • J. Swift

    Portland is yet another chapter in the book about Miscavige’s complete incompetence and waste of parishioner of money:

    1. Miscavige ordered the purchase of the Stevens Building in Portland in 2008 for $5.3 million. This was to be Ideal Morgue Portland. Miscavige then decided this building was too small to hold services in after the purchase.

    2. The Stevens Building is now on the market for $4.35 million, a $1,000,000 loss to Portland area Scientologists: http://www.butlerbrokers.qwestoffice.net/Stevens%20Building%20For%20Sale%20Package.pdf

    3. The Church purchased the Sherlock Building cost $6,400,000 as a replacement for the Stevens Building.

    4. Local Scientologists in Portland had to raise about $5,000,000 to renovate the Stevens Building.

    The Portland Ideal Org will therefore cost local Scientologists:

    — $5,380,000 – loss on the Stevens Building

    — $6,400,000 – purchase of the new Sherlock Building

    — $5,000,000 estimate to renovate the Sherlock Building

    Total: $16,780,000 to open Ideal Morgue Portland.

    *****

    And then of course there will be little or no money for upkeep after the Idle Morgue is opened.

    Jason Barclay blew the Sea Org six months ago. He was in charge of maintenance at the Complex in Los Angeles. This is a 60,000 sq ft facility and he was given about $400 per week for all maintenance. This
    is a shocking .066 cents per square foot for maintenance!

    Building Owners and Managers Association (BOMA) shows that commercial real estate owners spent an average of $1.80 per square foot for maintenance.

    The bottom line:

    Miscavige vastly overspends on Ideal Org renovations. His construction firm Nova HRC charges the Church $1,000 — $2,000 per square foot for renovations: http://www.novahrc.com/portfolio.html

    The Ideal Morgues vastly underspend on maintenance once they’ve been opened.

    This is why Ideal Morgues become filthy and unkempt once opened. Why bother to open Ideal Morgues if they become grimy and under-maintained? That certainly will keep Tom Cruise and his friends away in droves!

    • 0tessa

      So that is where Miscavige is transferring the money to – his construction firm Nova HRC – with pumped up invoices?
      Is he preparing his final exit? Is Portland one of the last transfer moves?

      • Ze Moo

        Why prepare a ‘final exit’ now? Much easier to just continue the rack off scam and keep the money flowing into his off shore bank. I bet there is some ‘swiss marble’ ordered long ago….

      • Jgg2012

        Oh, wait for the next donation drive. “You can give Davey your money…or you can turn the page.”

    • Missionary Kid

      The fact that underpaid Sea Org members will be used for maintenance would reduce the $1.80 psf maintenance bill, but not by much. Let’s just say to $1.35 to be generous. That’s still a hell of a lot more than they’ve put out, traditionally. I’ll bet the clams will be stealing TP from every source they can. Maybe if the taco stand across the street starts selling clams toilet paper, they can add to their profits.

      The old Stevens Building sale will bring the cost down to something like $12 million. It apparently does have income coming in from some of the tenants. I don’t know how many are clam related.

      Misscabbababble doesn’t really care how much it costs. It’s not his money.

    • John P.

      Incidentally, the Stevens Building has been for sale for over a year that I know of. Even at the lower price, the fact that they’re not getting any nibbles means it’s priced too high. Knock at least another million off to actually get a deal done. Incidentally, if you cut through the numbers on the offering brochure you linked to, you get $4.35 million at a weighted average cost of capital of 8.1%, which is in line with industry norms. So they’re not charging a premium for the building, but anybody that has looked at it has passed because there’s something wrong that the marketing brochure doesn’t show.

      • ThetaBara

        Maybe they don’t want to have to retrofit the Oiliness Room.
        Thanks for the RE analysis!

      • Jgg2012

        Right, and in the meantime they have to pay property taxes. Or are they exempt from that?

        • Sidney18511

          If the building is not open and operating as a church the HAVE to pay property taxes in full.

      • grundoon

        Some adult entertainment business could probably make use of all the 5×5 auditing rooms equipped with spy cameras. The giant industrial shredder room is a bonus. And the Mediterranean Buck Rogers Revival decor… At under $5M it’s a steal!

        • N. Graham

          It would make a great North Korean embassy!

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

        Doesn’t matter to the Scilons of Portland, since however or how few millions the Stevens Bldg. fetches, none of that will be coming back to them. They raised the money to buy it but then gave the title to the upstream corporations.

    • Jgg2012

      And that is why Anonymous stays away from these re-openings. Don’t interfere when your enemy is bankrupting itself.

    • mirele

      That’s an insane amount of money per square foot. I’d be wondering if some of that money didn’t get skimmed off the top and into an account in the Cayman Islands.

    • 1subgenius

      Yeah, but do you know how they make up for all the losses?
      Volume. Volume. Volume.

    • N. Graham

      How did you the bold?

      • N. Graham

        Oh never mind, I see. You are totally correct btw. Excellent post.

  • Duncan Arthur

    Drove past the Joburg Org tonight. The sign has been fixed since Rinder’s post. The lights were mostly out

    • q-bird

      cool to know Duncan – good update – thanks!

    • aquaclara

      So great to hear news from Joburg! Thanks!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Robert-Eckert/100002715429426 Robert Eckert

      The Ohannesbug sign?

      • RMycroft

        Too bad they fixed it. They could have turned it into an Irish pub.

  • coonellie

    I’m late to the party so I apologize if someone already mentioned this,
    but why is the contact phone number (call Vikki 714-560-3558) for the
    Portland Org an Orange County, CA number? Why not a 503 area code?

    • RMycroft

      Because the Portland org is pre-empty. They wanted to get off to an early start.

      • http://www.facebook.com/ToryMagoo44 Tory Christman

        Ok, I called both Numbers (HI OSA::: You remain utter and TOTAL Floor Mats! as proven by you covertly reading this and too chicken to comment HERE). 714 is a personal #, VM. The Portland Org answered, said he thought the 714 was probably someone moving up to Portland. He told me their new Ideal Morgue opening is “On the 11th—are you coming?” I said I doubted I was, due to being in LA, but maybe some of my friends will”. He said: “COOL” so IF any of you are in the area….make sure to swing on by :) Thanks, TonyO and Love to ALL, Tory/Magoo

        • coonellie

          You rocked way before this, but my heavens, you’re amazing (with balls of a brass monkey…in a complimentary sort of way)!

        • Bella Legosi

          Thanks for the encouragement Tory! And I am sure I can drop by with a few friends. Hi OSA, hope you got a permit to block off the streets!

        • Douglas D. Douglas

          People in Portland are SO friendly…

        • aquaclara

          Fabulous! Thank you for sharing!

        • Ivan Mapother

          I called and left a voice mail asking how the filing was going and if someone found my crock pot from the OC grand opening. I asked if they still have it, bring it to Portland and I’ll pick it up. I also told them no Sea Org member needed to clean it, I could take care of that myself.

          • Espiando

            You should have used a disposable cell phone and told them it was a pressure cooker and not a crock pot…

            What, too soon?

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      You could call the Portland Org at 503-228-0116. Ask ‘em if they have Prince Albert in a can. Or olive oil in a bottle.

      • Observer

        Or if their refrigerator is running.

      • Bella Legosi

        Make sure to letthem know their NarCONon ship got raided. Ethical people should know just how unethical their “good works” organizations are

  • http://www.facebook.com/kim.obrien.775 Kim O’Brien

    Who has 2 thumbs and happy that the office is closing early today ??!! THIS lady right here ! Finally i get to go through and read all the comments while sipping a cocktail …..

  • Jgg2012

    What are they going to do next–re-open Flag? Or the Celebrity Center?

    • BosonStark

      Good idea. They could reopen the Celebrity Center and dedicate Los Angeles to the First Lady of Scientology, Shelly Miscavige, who “unfortunately couldn’t make it, because she’s on special assignment,” for the next billion years.

      • Jgg2012

        Or better yet, introduce the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard.

    • aquaclara

      Well, Flag was revamped not all that long ago, and there were some press releases with photos that circulated. It was noted as the/a reason for the Super Powerz opening delay.

      • Jgg2012

        What they should do is pay all of us to stop posting negative things about them, but I don’t know if that would work.

        • 1subgenius

          With me it would.
          I’m a whore quibbling about the price.

  • coonellie

    Sorry for the dumb question, but does Anonymous show up at Ideal Org (re)openings?

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      No. Not at all. They would never do that.

      • aquaclara

        Except if they felt like it.

        • http://www.facebook.com/gayle.smith.3994 Gayle Smith

          Or it was a Tuesday.

          Or any day that needs in day.

    • 1subgenius

      Do you?

      • coonellie

        I’ve not lived in a city near one. Besides, I tangled with a few OSA bots up close and personal, and that was enough. Now, I’ve got a Mr. Coonellie and a baby Coonellie, so I’m much more circumspect (although I can hear my friends screaming with laughter at the word circumspect being in the same sentence that describes my personality).

        • 1subgenius

          Roger that.

    • 1subgenius

      Expect them.

  • Bella Legosi

    Well its timefor this vamp to rally the merchants of chaos!

  • Jgg2012

    Will Scientology “freely grant” refunds for this money they are demanding?

    • Ze Moo

      Refunds are only available for money left on account for classes and auditing. This is a ‘donation’ and not refundable, unless the Garcia’s lawsuit for fraud wins.

      • Jgg2012

        Yes, the Garcias could open up the floodgates.

  • Ze Moo

    Diane Johnson at the NY Review of Books has a nice review of Jenna Hills and Larry Wrights books and it ends up being a very good essay on Clamatology.

    http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2013/apr/25/scientology-story/

  • Captain Howdy

    Interesting article/info dump about D.M’s early days and how he staged his coup d’état. I found it while trying to find out if Slappy has a middle name. Check out Davey standing on not one, but two boxes while pretending to be Haskell Wexler.

    http://watchfulnavigator.wordpress.com/2012/07/19/david-miscavige-investigators-guide-to-the-criminal-history/

    • L. Wrong Hubturd

      I’m not gonna make any comments….nope, none at all about how the “camera logs” guy is holding Wee Daveys wee little “lens”.

      • Captain Howdy

        Degenerate!

        • L. Wrong Hubturd

          Thank you! I resemble that remark.

        • elar aitch

          funny as f@#$ degenerate

    • Douglas D. Douglas

      Thank you for sharing this image. What a fabulous document of a more colorful new era. Always gratifying to spot details that corroborate early accounts of the CoS.

      See the makeup girl in the left foreground? See what she has in her right hand? It’s a squeeze bottle full of stage blood. Here’s a description of part of a typical shoot, taken from the book Barefaced Messiah:
      “…Hubbard was a director who liked plenty of gore, and gallons of fake blood had to be prepared in advance of every day’s shooting… On one occasion, when filming a bombing raid on an FBI office– a scene Hubbard very much enjoyed– he ordered so much blood to be poured over the unhappy actors that their clothes became glued to their bodies and had to be cut off by wardrobe assistants.”

      • Sherbet

        Why would lrh be filming a movie showing a bombing raid on an FBI office? It seems like a particularly sick subject.

        • Douglas D. Douglas

          The subject matter of several films was the inherent sickness and evil of the world as it was without Scientology. Fifty years of Scientology later, and this has all changed…

          • Sherbet

            HA! Thanks for the explanation and good chuckle, 3D.

      • 1subgenius

        I love details. Thanks.

    • grundoon

      Can anyone identify the rest of the people in the photo?

    • ThetaBara

      So, that begs the question… DOES Slappy have a middle name?

    • Espiando

      It may just be the perspective, but every time I’ve seen that photo, I’ve wondered: is it only coincidence that DM’s head is at the height of LRH’s crotch?

      Ah, it’s good to be out of LA and back in Chicago, where we have seasons, the head Scino has a non-porn stache, and the exes are a couple of the greatest people around (love ya, Dave and Syn). Not to mention the fact that we gave the world Tory Christman and gave St. Louis her dad.

      ETA: If the “Camera Logs” guy didn’t do gay porn in the early 70s, I’d be amazed.

  • Missionary Kid

    Hey, Vikki in the “Then Celebrate This” poster has an Orange County, Ca. number. That could be because she once lived there, but it could also be because she’s actually in O.C.

  • Grant C

    Jimmy Kimmel roast of Pamela Anderson tonight produced this joke:

    “You (Pam) starring in a show about books and reading is like Tom Cruise starring in a show about vaginas.” lol

    • Johan

      It would have been as funny if he referred to Tom Cruise starring in a show about books and reading…..

    • 1subgenius

      Breathtaking in its offensiveness.
      Good taste is the refuge of the witless.

  • Phil de Fontenay

    This will push more veteran Scios away just a bit more…

    They should just keep going with this style of fundraising. Straight down and horizontal! ~lol

    The church is doing more to destroy Scientology than the media ever could ;)

    In Taiwan the mission staff members spend long hours calling the frazzled public to come to their fundraisers. Not many public come these days and of course, those same staff members are required to cough up all they can. Poor little staff members. They pay through the nose while getting a paltry salary for their blind obedience to a church that doesn’t even care about them.

    With only about 300 active Sciobots here, it is a total failure!

    Phil de Fontenay

  • Bella Legosi

    So where is the poster with Koin Tower saying “Remember this?” and then pix of Portland’s last Co$ raid saying, “Celebrate THIS”

    *Koin Tower was the location where a “disgruntled” member ran into after shooting 3 people at the Co$ church here in Portland.*

  • Bob

    I know I am late on this but as a resident clam I am thoroughly disgusted by the fundraising emails. And I felt I should say something. I have not been directly approached on the Portland event but the ridiculous activities remind me of the actions of an anthill that has been kicked by a little kid. No wonder so many clams are dying. They are all being driven crazy by the psychotic activities of madmen! The only out for them is to leave and pick up a new body with the intention to stay clear of Psycho-tology families.

  • sketto

    I mistrust any email that ends the majority of its sentences with anywhere from five to seven exclamation points. It makes me wonder why they don’t trust their message enough to just let the words speak for themselves. No need to shout it.

    Scientology – if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing to an insane degree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • David Sheern

    Does anyone have details on the Portland Grand Opening? I live in PDX and would love to attend. Just for the spectacle and chance to see the mystical COB. Although he may be too small to see through a crowd. Are they having the standard outdoor ribbon drop like at other ideal orgs? Thanks for any insight.

  • Not Impressed1

    Stop calling it a church. It’s not. These people rip idiots off and con them out of their money and tell them lies. Oh wait, I guess it is a church.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1663488170 Blaidd ApMardda

    I’ve been to the Org in SFO, I can’t believe that there are 50 people they want to come, the place is always empty. They have there “stress test” every Wednesday at the Powell Street Station. I have filmed them in a panic trying the make their stats before Thursday at 2. One thing that I have found odd is that they are now calling in Credit/Debit cards. Charging people 10-15 USD for a CD about LRH. They call the org to charge the card. I find this wierd, The sidewalk merchants in San Francisco have wireless swipe machine and for being a “tech” religion it doesn’t make since for them not being with the times or does it. The Machines only give you the last 4 digits of a card that being said I guess it would be better way if you had the entire card number to trace people with…….

  • bylynne

    I am convinced that the people who are speaking about scientology and all the bainwashing techniques, mental and emotional abuse, and fear tactics used are speaking the truth. I have never been involved with sci, thankfully I am secure and confident enough not to need someone to tell me how to run my life.
    My father, who is now 80 years old, has been involved in sci for 5 years. During this time he didn’t have contact with his family except for an occasional call to invite us to some or another meeting having to do with Scientology. None of us wanted anything to do with this çult’ as we believed it to be and so he had nothing to do with us. He was a contractor and got jobs through people in Scientology, all of the money he made went back into Scientology in one form or another, taking classes, buying books or flying here and there to take some class they said he ‘must’ take to get on up the path. He even convinced his wife to give him her small savings so that he could put it into the ‘business’ he was trying to build, of course his business associate/bookeeper got paid but my father did not, he got his living expenses paid but that was all. During this time not only did he spend every dime he had on sci he also lost his house because of his involvement in this group.
    As you can probably tell I do not know much about this organization, all the special verbage, making it up the ‘ladder’ or whatever doesn’t really matter, what I do know I have learned in the past 3 months. Unfortunately I now have personal knowledge of the horrible abuse that is inflicted when a person is suseptible to their teachings, the brainwashing, mind control, mental abuse and financial ruin due to the actions with my father. My father, as I said, is 80 years old, he was recently hospitalized for almost 2 months in the Psych ward. What got him there was his own admission of ‘working himself to death over the past 2 months. Why was he working himself so hard? I talked with his ‘business associate’, another scientologist, who admitted to me, ‘He gets this way when he isn’t busy, we just need to get some more jobs and keep him busy and he’ll be fine’. (READ-have him make more money so it can be funnelled into the org). .
    My father was in the Psych ward and this guy is telling me he just needs to work harder??? Really? An 80 year old man who has worked his whole life has to work harder? Scientology nearly killed my father, a chiropractor who is a fellow sci, mis-diagnosed my father with low blood sugar, never even tested his blood sugar. When my father was having an épisode’ that I can only describe as a panic attack including severe delusional thinking, the same behavior the chiropractor diagnosed as low blood sugar, he was screaming at me Í have low blood sugar I need something to eat now’. When we got him to the hospital, our only recourse with the bizzare behavior my father was exibiting, his blood sugar was 120, well within normal limits. What is a chiropractor doing diagnosing low blood sugar in the first place?
    During his hospital stay my father was convinced that he had special powers and that Scientology had set up this grand íllusion’ of an Emergency Department. His delusions revolved around the beliefs of scientology, everyone there was a scientologist, family members who were not there, were there to him, everyone was in on this grand illusion and there was a helicopter that was going to land on the hospital to take him to ‘the boat’. My father admits to being told he only needed a few hours of sleep, sometimes not sleeping for days on end, working on the job and then having to spend many hours at several of the sci çhurches’ doing various jobs there, and that he could eat anything and be just fine, he was convinced drinking nothing but raw milk would be healthy for him, he did this for 2 weeks prior to his hospitalization.
    These delusions continued for several weeks becoming less and less frequent and less psychotic the longer he remained in the hospital and the less contact he had with scientologists. Someone from scinwould visit from time to time and the bizzare behavior would return. Our only recourse to keep him from severe anxiety and psycotic behavior were powerful anti psychotic drugs, which the scientologists were admonishing him not to take, at every turn they were fighting his family and the medical professionals who were trying to get him better. I had lots of promisses of help from several members, that is what most religious organizations do right, help out their parishoners? Well not this organization, all they wanted was his money, If he called wanting to set up another job ïn no way could he function as a contractor’ they were right there, if he called wanting to buy some propaganda material they were right there bringing boxes of CD’s, for which he paid hundreds of dollars. No one from sci ever stopped by to offer a ride to the store to buy food, an outing or just to visit with my father, it was all to further brainwash him. They were asked to leave the hospital several times because they were causing bizzare behavior in my father and going against the hospital rules, telling my father not to do what a nurse had instructed him to do.
    At one point I asked one of his çolleagues’ (i will not call them friends) in sci if the órg’ could help him out his reply was ‘they are stretched so tight financially they don’t have any extra resources to give out’. This comment actually made me smile, yeah, don’t believe this organization is on the upswing, they are falling and fast. Much of their pool of resources comes from people like my father who ‘work themselves to death’ doing the physical labor to put up a building like the new complex in Portland Oregon, without pay. I have been told that he has 10s of thousands ón account at the org for the jobs he has done, he hasn’t seen a penny of that money. Yes my father spent hours and hours working for this org without pay, he has nothing but an old run down car and some personal effects, he is 80, unable to work but thankfully his mind is returning slowly to the non-delusional thinking he had prior to being involved with this organization.
    If anyone knows of a way to get out the information that this organization preys on the weak, takes advantage of he elderly, promotes the idea of éthics’ but actually does nothing even close to ethical behavior once someone is involved I would sure like to know. I would help in any way I can spread the word about this toxic organization.
    I realize this has been long, thank you for reading

  • DeadEye

    I live in Portland and I can tell you this, there is no way 2500 portlanders showed up to the grand opening as stated on the scientology website. No fucking way, in fact the picture of that grand opening looks photoshopped. I happen to walk by the church every day for work and it is empty save a few employees 99% of the time. Once in a great while I have seen them talking to someone who wandered in. This city is full of broke intellectuals, trust me theyre too smart to fall for it and theyre too broke to join anyway.

  • DeadEye

    And while Im talking about this, Id just like to say the church of scientology scares the shit out of me. They are filthy rich (no one knows how rich because they dont file tax returns), they are obviously insane, and they have so much power and influence they could accomplish nearly anything. Look at cults throughout history. They almost always result in violence, such as the charlie manson cult and the jonestown cult that drank the deadly kool aid. The difference between those cults and this one is money. Imagine if those cults had the money, influence and power that scientology has. They could have poisoned the drinking water, or made a bomb. So thats what scares me about them. If they believe xenu is coming back or whatever bullshit they dream up, and he wants all the non believers punished, what will they do? Truly, the possibilities are endless.