Comments on: Hillary Clinton has considered David Miscavige’s appeals lawyer for the US Supreme Court

By: Missionary Kid

Missionary Kid — Thu, 24 Nov 2016 23:24:00 +0000

Explanations of Catchphrases, memes, and shorthand terms (Bunkronyms) used in the Bunker. PLEASE REPLY TO THIS LIST TO ADD ITEMS OR CORRECT THEM.
10X – A number that Grant Cardone likes to use to show how effective his methods are/the speed at which Grant Cardone can empty your wallet.
2 pm on Thursday – the time that statistics have to be turned in by $cientologists.
26 refers to an incident where the Bunker was catfished. We learned and moved on.
4′ 13” / 4 foot 13 inch – David Miscavige’s true height, from his former tailor.
47 white binders – supposedly the number of binders handed to Lawrance Wright by Scientology to refute his article on Scientology, the basis for his book Going Clear.
47 X – a bullshit statistic that is often used by $cientology to illustrate great expansion.
A huge grain of salt – How anything that comes from Scientology should be taken.
A trailer in Creston – [California], where LRH died while hiding out.
Adele Dazeem – The name that John Travolta came up with at the Oscars while butchering the name Idina Menzel. Source of much ridicule, especially since, as a high level Scientologist, he should have perfect recall..
AGP – Angry Gay Pope, a critic who dresses up in a pope mask and films his forays into $cientology. They were out of Guy Fawkes masks when he went to buy one, so he went as a pope.
And so forth.- A phrase that David Miscavige often uses in his long-winded speeches, also used by LRH, see also Sherman, Dan
Annie, her spirit broken – Refers to Annie Broker who escaped Gold base. Rathbun flew after her and brought her back, she caved in when she saw him at the airport. IIRC
Apostate – a person who renounces a religious or political belief or principle. Synonyms: dissenter, defector, deserter, traitor, backslider, turncoat
Apple box – Term used in film industry for something a short actor stands on to make them taller. Something Miscavige needs.
Asbestos on the Freewinds – There was a lot of asbestos on the $cientology boat, Freewinds. It was never handled properly. Also known as the S.S. Mesothelioma
ASC – Marty Mark is convinced that the Bunker is an Anti-Scientology Cult. A better term would the Anti-$cientology Community.
Avagram. Historic. Documents once used to harass critics. Sent by Ava Paquette, Scientology lawyer.
Baby raper – what Jenna Elfman called someone critical of $cientology.
Bigot – Term applied to anyone who disagrees with $cientology
bigot,a name for anyone who disagrees with Kirstie, or defrocked apostate for any critical ex.
Billions of people being helped. Billions of people. – A claim often made by Scientology.
Bitter – A phrase Scientology often uses, especially in combination with apostate, to describe former members.
Blinky – cute nickname for Monique Yingling, $cientology attorney who acted as a spokesperson. AKA Muffin Lady
Blowing a horse – What Jenna Elfman said she’d rather do. See I’d blow a horse.
Blue Shoes – Tommy Davis’ poor sartorial choice.
Body Router – A Scientologist who gets someone off the street to go to a $cientology org or mission so they can be recruited.
Bowling trophy – What the awards given out to whales for large monetary donations look like. See also Oversized Hood Ornaments
BSM – Bunker Shaming Mechanism In $cientology, it means Basic Study Manual.
Bunker Shaming Machine – What the Bunker supposedly does if they disagree with someone.
Bunkernado – What happens when the bunker gets upset or “enturbulated”, to use a $cientology term. See BWS,
Burlwood pens – special pens, covered with burlwood that Miscavige had made up.
BWS – Bunkernado of Wild Speculation
CAEK – Internet slang for celebration: cake.
Call me Philboard – Phil Jones, who, with his wife Willie, came up with the “call me” Billboard.
Camelot Castle – A faux castle that is a hotel in Tintagel, England, owned by Scientologists that has a poor reputation as a hotel. Check Trip adviser. See also Wanna see my lightbox?
Captain Blackheart – nickname for Davy Miscavige, actually suggested by a $cientology attorney in an attempt to show bias of the Bunker In Monique Rathbun’s lawsuit.
Captain Howdy says “Hello” – In honor of the late, beloved Captain Howdy, who was great at dealing with trolls, said sarcastically to signal someone is a troll.
Cardouche – Nickname for Grant Cardone
Certified bullshit – phrase used by $cientology (probably DM) in a critique of a report critical of $cientology.
Chill E. B. – $cientology rapper, with a following apparently nowhere else.
CICS – One of Miscavige’s favorite insults. Counter Intentioned Cock Sucker.
Clearwater, (or insert any city Tony visited on tour), I am in you.
Completely voluntary religious retreat – Scientology’s description of The Hole.
Cookie stuff – Tom Cruise yelled at his staff for providing ready-made cookie dough, instead of made from scratch.
Cottage Industry of Hate – What critics of $cientology supposedly belong to.
Dan Sherman, The Silver Mullet – the guy who writes Miscavige’s overblown speeches.
Darmok: A classic episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation where the captain and an alien have to figure out how to communicate
Das Rinderblog. Mike Rinder’s blog.
DC-8s – What the space ships looked like that the evil overlord, Xenu, supposedly used to transport people to Teegeeack (their name for earth).
Debbie Cook in the trashcan – Executive Debbie Cook was forced to stand in a trash can while cold water was poured over her.
Defrocked apostate – what $cientology calls any ex critical of the Co$
DIANEXIT – $cientologists now leaving. The opposite of what LRH postulated: clearing the planet (of non-$cientologists).
Disconnection just doesn’t exist – Tommy Davis, who was later caught illustrating that it does.
Do I look brainwashed to you? – Phrase uttered by Anne Archer, Tommy Davis’ mother in an interview with British journalist John Sweeney
Don’t be a little bitch. – Phrase used by Scientologist Grant Cardone, a generally unsympathetic person.
Don’t make me go all tone 40 on your ass. – Tone 40 was the highest state of a Scientologist.
Dwarfenführer – David Miscavige.
Eleventy million – Sarcastic reference to Scientology’s penchant for exaggeration. They always inflate numbers, so why not just use eleventy?
EP – End Phenominon – how things end up.
EZ Bake Oven-what the latest e-meter model looks like.
Feschback painting: The painting of the very Pregnant Feschbeck couple that our eyes cannot unsee
Filed-down incisors – What Scientology wanted a woman to do who they auditioned to be Tom Cruise’s next wife.
Footbullets – Another way of stating what is used when you shoot yourself in the foot.
Front porch of infinity – One of the overblown phrases used by COB in one of his boring speeches.
Get the Ducati- Refers to the choice of Tiziano Luigli when he was trying to decide to buy a Ducati or use the money to pay for more courses.
Glib – A term often used by Scientology to describe critics.
Google is Hearsay – See Hearsay
Guh-LAX-ee – How LRH mispronounced Galaxy.
Ham hock (AKA Hamhock) – Grant Cardone, the goofy bigheaded self-improvement “guru” who donates millions to $cientology
He does his own stunts – Phrase often used by Tom Cruise’s publicity machine to show what a stud Cruise is.
He jumped the couch long ago.. – A variation on the expression, “jumped the shark” It refers to TC jumping on the couch on Oprah, and it means he has lost it..
He’s the only one that can help! – Sarcastically said about Scientologists, based upon the Tom Cruise video Scientology tried to suppress on the internet.
Headley – Claire & Marc, sea org members who separately escaped from Gold base in thrilling stories who now are living in a happy family life, away from $cientology.
Hearsay/hearsayed – A $cientology lawyer called Google hearsay, so Bunker members have made it a substitute for the word Google/Googled.
Hey girl – A greeting to someone.
Hi, Bunkerites. This is my first post, but I’ve been a lurker for some time.. – self explanitory.
Hitler videos (Pan’s) – Videos from a movie about Hitler that have dubbed in words by Bunker regular Panopea Abrupta
How many churches do you know that have a spy wing? – Legitimate question to point out the nefarious wing of Scientology
Howdy says hello. – In honor of the late, beloved Captain Howdy, who was great at dealing with trolls, said sarcastically.
Hubbard’s teeth – Describes the poor state of Hubbard’s mouth.
I am in your face. – Elena Cardone, a generally unsympathetic person, $cientologist.
I never had a second wife. – LRH denying his bigamous second marriage.
I’d blow a horse to watch Netflix all day. – what Jenna Elfman said in one of Jenna and Bodhi’s stupid YouTube videos,
I’m angry. I’m real angry – Tommy Davis to John Sweeney BBC Panorama documentary
I’m not a $cientologist, but… – A phrase often used by $cientologists posing as ordinary people to post a positive statement about $cientology.
Idle Morgue – The orgs have supposedly gottne bigger and have had big ceremonies to pronounce them Ideal. In reality, they’re dead as a morgue.
If he dies, he dies – What Davy Miscavige said when told that his father was apparently having a heart attack.
Inch Wives – the name applied to the former wives of $cientology executives that claimed that their husbands had no bruises from being in The Hole because “I know every inch of my husband’s body.”
J & D – Joking and Degrading. Hubbard hated it, especially if it was directed towards him or $cientology.
JAW – John Alex Wood, British nutter, who claims to be the biggest fan of Monty Python, but has been renounced by Eric Idle.
Jenny at LAX – the crazy $cientology executive lady that confronted Marty at LAX, caught on video. She’s also known as one of the Inch Wives.
JennyAtLAX – The nom de plume of Fred Haseny, our intrepid photographer who chronicles the silly crap that Co$ does.
Jive Aces – $cientology jazz band. Meh.
John Allender, with a camera on his head – One of the notorious Squirrel Busters that harassed Mark “Marty” Rathbun and his wife.
John Lobbs – The very expensive, custom-made shoes that Miscavige wears.
John Mappin – British nutter and owner of the Camelot Hotel, whose accomodations are not well reviewed. Granted an honorary knighthood to Donald Trump.
Jorm Revoltya – Another name for John Travolta, making fun of his screw up of a name at the Oscars. See Adele Dazeem
Joy Villa’s wardrobe (construction fence tech) – Joy wore a dress made of orange construction fencing to an event.
KDLC – Karen De La Carriere
Kim’s Keys – Kim O’Brien lost all of her keys for weeks, and posted about her experience here in the Bunker. She finally found them behind a bookcase.
Kitteh corner – A comment on all the cat memes, videos, and pictures posted on the Bunker.
Kitteh Korner – an emotional refuge for Bunkerites/oos who need to step away from overcharged drama or just bad news.
Land o’ Xenu – Clearwater Florida, a town haunted by $cientology.
Laura, missing her mother – Laura DeCrescenzo at 12 years old wrote in her Sea Org reports that she missed her mother, which the Co$ considers a crime.
Leah Remini is “stalking” Shelley – Claim by Scientology after Leah filed a missing person’s report on Shelly Miscavige.
Let him die. – What David Miscavigek said when told that his father was apparently having a heart attack.
Lisa, bitten by roaches – Lisa McPherson, a victim of $cientology whose body had roach bites on it.
Lost Keys – See Kim’s Keys.
Macallan – See The Macallan
Mark Ebner dumpster diving. – Mark Ebner found some trophies awarded by Scientology for big donations that were thrown out in a dumpster.
Marty Mark – “Marty” (born Mark) Rathbun
Meepthorp – THE DARK LORD OF THE CHURCH OF NEUROTOLOGY http://www.meepthorp.com/
Miss Lovely – The code name given to Paulette Cooper by $cientology spies & used by Tony Ortega in his book about her, The Unbreakable Miss Lovely
Missing cookie stuff – see Cookie dough.
MK’s apology: Fuck You.
Monique Yngling – Attorney for $cientology, and muffin lady, who defended $cientology and David Miscavige and attacked Ron Miscavige, his father in an interview. AKA, Blinky, Muffin Lady
Moxon, Carla – $cientologist who tells a story about her husband, Kendrick, in a weird video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZXc_IcgV7Y
Moxon, Kendrick – Kendrick Lichty Moxon is an American Scientology official and an attorney who shills for $cientology
Much Love – Sign off at the end of Scientologist’s letters.
Muffin Lady – Monique Yngling, $cientology attorney who brought muffins from the kitchen at gold to prove how good the food was. AKA Blinky
Musical chairs – See Rhapsody of the chairs. Miscavige forced a brutal game of musical chairs on his executives at Gold Base. It was a mindfuck.
Niacin – AKA Vitamin B3, used in the purification ritual. The levels given to people can be toxic, but, since Hubbard prescribed it, it is used at dangerous levels.
Odo, also known as Otto, one of the security guards at Big Blue who doesn’t have a life, aside from riding around on his bike and following Sps.
Oiliness Table – comes from one of the perceptics (senses) that is supposedly enhanced at the big Flag building in Clearwater.
Parking spaces – Scientologists often claim that their powers enable them to find parking spaces.
Paulette Cooper – The Unbreakable Miss Lovely – subject of Tony Ortega’s book about extreme persecution by $cientology.
People think we worship rabbits. – Erika Christensen
Petty Little Bitch – Description of David Miscavige
Pffft – Scoffing sound
Pinks & Grays – The drugs that LRH took, while preaching against drugs.
PISSED – Post Scientological Studies Syndrome – The comfortable bubble state that some ex-$cientologists can exist in. It is characterized by critical factors being disabled, a lack of self-awareness, intolerance for conflicting opinions, reversion to a hypnotic state, dualistic thinking, being defensive, elitist, narcissistic, and thinking in and not recognizing the pervasive logical fallacies that stem from $cientology.
Placebo Church – $cientology
Porch of Infinity – See Front Porch of Infinity.
Provable bullshit – Term used in an actual press release from the $cientrology about the story that David Miscavige told the Pis following Ron Miscavige, who thought he was having a heart attack to “let him die.” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/scientology-leader-david-miscaviges-father-to-write-tell-all-book_us_55943d9ce4b02ca2a4d6bf85
Raw meat – what $cientologists call new people who have walked int the door.
Rhapsody of the chairs.- Miscavige forced $cientology executives to play a brutal game of musical chairs, done to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Rice and beans – what sea org members often eat.
Rinderchopper at Clearwater – Mike Rinder flew over the opening of the Flag building in a helicopter, making so much noise that Miscavige was forced to cut his speech short.
RS – The Raw Story – online news source, previously edited by Tony Ortega, http://www.rawstory.com/
Rue the Day – phrase used by Marty Rathbun as a threat to Tony for reporting on Monique Rathbun’s Texas court case against $icentology
S.S. Mesothelioma – Another name for the Freewinds, Scientology’s ship, which has a lot of asbestos aboard.
Scientology can help you with that – A phrase used by Scientologists after pointing out deficiencies in a person’s life.
Scientology works and it helps people. – Lie from Scientology
Sending your kids to South Africa — what Duggan did when he couldn’t control his adopted sons, who have obvious mental problems that $cientology can’t cure.
Sharpie Hair – See Travolta Sharpie Hair.
She died. People die. – Calloused response to the death of Lisa McPherson
Shelley: Meet me at the fence at midnight and bring a spare pantsuit! – Message to Shelly Miscavige.
Sherman-speak – see Shermanspeak
Shermanesque – verbiage that is used to appear learned, but actually just a bunch of incoherent verbiage that proves the opposite.
Shermanspeak – the over-the-top verbiage used by Miscavige, written by Dan Sherman.
Show me the motherfucking clear – Jason Beghe on whether there was anyone who was clear.
SMP/SuMP $cientology Media Project, the former KCET studios.
Space is wild! – Hubbard’s description of all the swingin’ action in the cosmos.
Stainless steel and titanium – what is used to protect the “sacred” words of LRH in the vaults that have been built.
STOP ignoring our phone calls – What was written on the outside of an envelope from the Inglewod org.
Straight Up and Vertical – if a graph is made of a particular $cientology statistic, it always ends up going straight up and vertical, in spite of the collapse of the organization. A phrase often used by DM.
Stuck in an electronic incident – See You’re stuck in an electronic incident.
Take the Ducati – see Get the Ducati
Take the survey! – Pitch used by body routers to get people to take the personality test
Telex references – Since Hubbard used telex machines for communication, Scientology continued to use this outmoded means of communication long after it was abandoned everywhere else.
Texas – A place that Scientology denies that Miscavige has never done business.
Thanks Legoland – Legoland gave money to a $cientology front group designated by Jenna Elfman for her appearance
Thanks, Legoland. — Legoland gave money to Jenna Elfman for a $cientology front group for doing publicity.
That makes me angry, really angry – Said by Co$ representative Tommy Davis, in the documentary done by John Sweeney
The Hole – Notorious place where $cientology executives were placed at Gold base: a jail, where they had to run everywhere, do hard physical labor, and not talk to other people not in The Hole.
The Macallan – The distillary that produces the expensive single malt Scotch that Miscavige drinkis. (Supposedly in copious quantities.)
The Mirror Thetan – a thread over at the Ex-Scientologist Message Board where crazy “accomplishments” by $cientologists are posted
The Unbreakable Miss Lovely – Title of book about Paultette Cooper, written by Tony Ortega.
To escape, like “Jason from the Freewinds.” Or “Headly from Gold.” People who have escaped from $cientology in a dramatic fashion. Headly is Mark Headly
Tommy’s blue suede shoes – see Blue Shoes
Touch Assists – a means of “healing” someone by touching them. Total woo woo.
Travolta Sharpie hair – What one of JT’s short-haired wigs that looks like he used a sharpie to draw hair on his head.
Troublemaker – The title of both a book by Leah Remini and a theme song of the Bunker.
Unemployed blogger on the fringes of the internet – Phrase used by Scientology to describe critic Tony Ortega.
Unprecedented expansion – What Scientology claims that it is taking place in the organization. A phrase used by Miscavige in his speeches. Shermanspeak.
Vistaril – The drug found in LRH’s body when he died, prescribed by his $cientology doctor. This is in direct contradiction to $cientology’s policy against drugs.
Vulture ministers – “Volunteer Ministers”, the Co$ opportunists who show up at disasters for photo ops. All they really do is render touch assists.
Wanna see my lightbox? – At $cientologist John Mappin’s faux Camelot Castle, in Tintagel, England, they try to sell Ted Stourton’s, cheesy artwork, mounted in lightboxes.
Wassamadda witchu, hat? – Hubbard’s demeaning example of how “negroes” speak and act.
We can still find parking – Often, to give evidence of their new power over MEST as a result of their $cientology courses, $cientologists will assert that their new powers make them able to find parking places.
We worship rabbits. I don’t actually know how many people think that, but I had someone ask me that. – What Erica Christensen said people think about $cientology.
What are your crimes? – Anything that is said against Scientology or LRH is a crime. What is screamed at Scientologists in a sec check. What Jenna Elfman screamed at someone.
Where did I hide the gold Shelley? – An imagined question asked by Davy Miscavige of Shelly Miscavige.
Where’s Shelly? – Shelly Miscavige, the wife of David Miscavige, hasn’t been seen for a decade. Leah Remini filed a missing person’s report on her.
Yelling at ashtrays – This is from the Training Routine called TR-8, which is “Tone 40 on an object.” https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Secrets/TR/critique.html#tr8
YOU DON”T HAVE THE F*&KING RANK TO ASK THAT QUESTION – What Leah Remini was told by Co$ spokesman, Tommy Davis when she asked at Tom Cruise’s wedding where David Miscavige’s wife, Shelly was.
You Should Be Ashamed But That’s Not All! – Mentioned 3Xs int the letter from $cientology attorney Bert Diexler To KDLC, accusing her of collaborating with Philboard
YOU WERE NOT THERE AT the beginning OF THE INTERVIEW – When John Sweeney blew up under the taunting of Tommy Davis. It’s a standard part of his presentation now when he talks about it. Funny as hell.
You’re a bigoted, hate-mongering asshat. Never contact me again – Tommy Davis, no longer a spokesman for Co$, after being contacted by Tony Ortega
You’re stuck in an electronic incident – what a crazy OTVII said to a critic in Britain to describe why the critic was crazy.
YSCOHB – Another of David Miscavige’s favorite insults. You Suck Cock on Hollywood Boulevard.
YSYSYS – You Suck You Suck You Suck. A common David Miscavige cell phone text to underlings.

By: Missionary Kid

Missionary Kid — Thu, 24 Nov 2016 23:24:00 +0000

For a good list of definitions and acronyms used by $cientology, http://www.xenu.net/archive/dictionary/
———————————————————————————————————————————-
What follows is some of the lists that I have compiled over the years here in the Bunker.

The first is explanations of catchphrases, memes and shorthand terms used in the Bunker that appears just below. http://tonyortega.org/2016/11/01/hillary-clinton-has-considered-david-miscaviges-appeals-lawyer-for-the-us-supreme-court/#comment-3018779850

Next, The long list of David Miscavige nicknames http://tonyortega.org/2016/11/01/hillary-clinton-has-considered-david-miscaviges-appeals-lawyer-for-the-us-supreme-court/#comment-3018779492

Next, the list of L. Ron Hubbard nicknames

Then, the list of nicknames and other things said about various $cientologists. I have elected to call it MISERABLE $CIENTOLOGISTS http://tonyortega.org/2016/11/01/hillary-clinton-has-considered-david-miscaviges-appeals-lawyer-for-the-us-supreme-court/#comment-3018777885

By: Missionary Kid

Missionary Kid — Thu, 24 Nov 2016 23:23:00 +0000

L. RON HUBBARD NICKNAMES
Abominable Showman
Acronym Arsehole
Admiral Assclown
Ai! Perdito!
Bare Faced Mess
Beelze-Bubo
Big Bean
Big Being
Big Scam Man
Bigamist Most Distinguished
Billion Year Asshole
Bloated Bastard.
Bloated Bloviator
Blubbard
Blubtard
Botulistic Braggart
Bovine Bigamist
Bovine Bloviater
Cap’n Lord Hubris
Captain Blowhard
Captain Hubbsurd
Chief of the Lemmings
Chief Sitting Bullshit
Commode Door Crudterd
Commode-door Ron
Commodore Creeper
Commodore Cuckoo
Commodore EL. Run Scurbburd
Commodore Idiotic Gasbag
Commodore Lying Rat Hump
Commodore Rimjob
con ron
Count Drekula
Creepy Uncle Ron
Crimson Creep
Crimson Cuckoo
Crimson Cyst
Crock
Crude Lewd Ignorant Dude
Curse of the Coronados
D’Doo Ron Ron.
Dark Angel of Overboarding
Dark Lord
Darth Father
Dead Carrot Top
Dear Founder (Likening him to the founder of North Korea)
dear old Souse
Death Breath
Dilrod Bumtard
DM’s Sea Daddy
Dr L. Ron Crankenstein
Dr. Hubs PhD (Cough)
Dr. Hubtard
Dr. LRH, Quackologist, MD (Meaningless Designation)
Dr. Pretentious
Dr. Scrubbard
drug-laced psychotic
dumbard
Ecclesiastical Buttplug
El Con
El Drone Hubub
El Flabtard
El Fraud Hubbárd
El Fraud Hubbtard
El Lardo Butt
El Loon.
El Rod
El Romp Blabber
el ron don
El Ron Hippo
El Ron Hobo
El Ron the thetan Satan
El Ron Tub o’ Lard
El Ronillo
El Sum-Ting-Wong Hubtard
El Wretch
El Wretch Hubris
Eldrond
Ella Ache Hubba Hubbhard
Ellaraich Hubstard
Eller H
ElRon
ElRon ElRey
Elron Fucktard
Elron Hippo
ElRonNoughtical
Elwrong
Elwrong Flubtard
Etron (turd) à la Persil
Ever Open Commode Door
Evil ginger
Evil letcher
faiL wrong tubblard
faiL wrong tubblard
Fat Bastard
Fat Boy
Fat Flub
Fat Fraudster
Father of Lies
Fatman
Fatty
Fish lips
Flatulant tub
Fleet Admiral Hubris
Flubtard
Foul Ole Ron
Fraudfather
Freddy Flunk-Out
Ghoul of the Golden Rod
ginger God
Ginger minger
Ginger Pig [with apologies to gingers and pigs everywhere]
Ginger Slugtard.
Ginger-Haired Gastropod
Great Ginger Pig [with apologies to pigs everywhere]
Great Screamer Most Loud
Guru of Garbage
Hell Ron Fucktard
Hell Ron Hublard
HellRH
HellRHubturd
His Odious Olineess
His Satanic Majesty
His Tubby Sackness
His Ultimate Sleaziness
Hub Tubbery Tub
Hubbard the hole
Hubbard the Hutt
Hubbardito
Hubbarf
Hubbastard
Hubbfucktard
Hubbsie
Hubbug
Hubburp
Hubby Dub Dub
Hubby Hippo
Hubby Tubby
Hubcap
Hublard
Hubnoxious
Hubris
Hubtard
HubTub
Hubzilla
Jabba the Hub
Jabbard the Hutt
Jabberhubby
King Con
Klam King
Kookular Pharmacist
L Ghoul Hubbard
L Ironic Hubsurd
L Rabid Wanker
L Ron Humblebrag
L Ron Hyperbole
L Ron Lugosi
L Wrong Hypnofraud
L. Bong Humper
L. Can Hubcap
L. Capitan
L. Con Hubbard
L. Crook Hubbard
L. Dumb Sluggard.
L. Empty Cupboard
L. Loon Hubbard
L. Right Bastard
L. Rock Hubbard
L. Ron Bastard
L. Ron Cthulhu
L. Ron Druggard
L. Ron Fllbby
L. Ron Jeremy
L. Ron Rhubbish
L. Ron Slubtard
L. Ron Teletubbard
L. Ruin Hublurb
L. Rum Hub(belch)bert’s
L. Run-away-from-the-law Hubbard
L. Ruse Scabbard
L. Wrong Hypocritical
L. Wrong Retard
L. Wrong Theta
L.Round Hubbard
L’Umpty Dumpty
La fatty
LaFarts
Laff-able Ronny Tubbard
Laffy H.
Lafreak Ronette Hapablap
Laughayette
Laughayette Wrong Flubtard
Liar Ron Humbug
Liar Ron Humpty
LiaRH
LiarRon Humptydumpty
Lie Run Hustle
Lil Red Hemorrhoid
Lil Red Hullabaloo
Lil Red Hypnotist
Lil Red Hypnotoad
Lil Ronnie Horndog
Lil Ruby Hogswallowers
Lil’ Rubbin Himself
Limp Rabid Humper
Limp Rancid Humper
Little Ronnie Humperdink
Liver Lipped Laffy
Liver Lipped Liar
Liver lips and a sebaceous cyst
Liver-Lipped Prophet
Llama Rectal Hemorrhoid
Logorrhea Wrong Hubbawubba
Long Con Hubbard
Long wRong Huckster
Loonaticus Robyoublind Hugelipicus
Looney Rooney Humbug
Loonie Red Head
Loony Rotten Huckster
Loopy Retched Humbug
Lord High Ulcerator
Lord Hubris of Tilden
Lord of the Floating Ashtrays
Lord of the Lies
Lord Redundant Horseshit
Lord Retinal Hematoma
Lord Ronwald Happablapp
Lord Ruby Hypocrite
Louche Recluse Hubris
LR Tubblard
LreccH
LRH Wrongo
LRH: The Earl of Babbleon
LRHubdub.
Lronny
Lroon
Lround
Lt Reginald Humperdinck
Lubb-lard
Lubbard
Lying old bag of pus
Lying Racist Homophobe
lying sack of sebaceous puss
Magnate of Magnetic Anomalies
Man with The Duck Lips
Marquis de Fraud
Marquis de Lafayette de Tilden
Master Bastard
Master(bator) Hubbtard
megomaniacal douchebag
Misogynistic prick
Mixmaster
Montana Mountebank
MoRon
Most Solemn Vistaril
Mother Hubbard
Mr Tubs
Mr. Pretentious
Mr. Sci Fi Window Into The Future
Mr. Toad
Narcissistic Ginger Pig
Nookular Physicist
Nubnurd
nucular fisicist
Ol’ Fishy Lips
Ol’ Mother Hubbard
Old Bloviator
Old Fish Lips
Old Scarlett Fever
Old Tubby Hubbard
Ole Windshitter
One Hot Mess
Paranoid Pisstaker
Phat Fraud
Pimpo Novis
Poopdeck Pappy
Pope Asshole I
pseudo scientific evangelist
Ra Ra Ron The Sun God
Rambling Ron
Rambling Ron the Boring Con
Ramrod Ron
Rblubbrt
Rear Admiral Commodore Captain Commander in Chief Cook and Bottle Washer Lil Roundie Habablap
Red Haired Raunchy Ronster
Red Menace
Red Plague
Remedial L. Ron
Robber-in-Chief
Ron Bare Cubbard
Ron boy
Ron Münchhausen
Ron the flunker.
Ron-The-Con
Ron, the Raunchy Redhead.
Ronaldo El Hubbard
Ronmeisterness
Ronnie Fat Boy
Ronniz
Rontard
Rotten Hub
Royal Rube-Ripper
Saint Hubbard
Satan Incarnate
Satan’s Baby
Satan’s Spawn
Scarlet Pimple
Scarlett Jackoff
Scientology’s Souse
Scumbburds
Sebaceous Clam
Sebaceous Sam
Sebaceous Squid
Slubbard
Sluggard
Snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings
Sphincter Tetanus Supremus
Stubbard
Stuppard
Sultan of Swill
TakeTheMoneyAndRon
Telepa-tubby
The Evil One
The Grand Vizier of Vistaril
The Great Hubbardini
the great Hubbinsky
The Hub
The Hubster
The Mad Hatter
The Master of Pablum Foufou
The Tubster
Theta Tomata (applies to all clams)
Thieflord
Tinpot Tosser
Tubbard
Tubber Hubber Man
Tubbo
Tubbo Tublard
Tubbo Tublard
Tubby
Tubby Hubby
Tublard
Tubo’lard
Tubsterino
Turd from Tilden
Turd of Tilden
überputz
Vacuous, toffee-nosed malodorous pervert
Wrongald.

http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/1445/2608/original.jpg
From an anachronistic Wanted poster, with Ron as an old time pirate:
WANTED for Vilest Perjury on the High Seas, Publick Thuggery, Promiscuous Rogering & Bigamy:
Captain Bullshytte*
Formerly Master of Ye ‘Royal Scumbagge, now in Partes Unckown
A most Malevolent & Cruel (withal Malodorous) Villain*
L. Ron Sluggarde*
Fornicating Fatso*
Tubbo Toothrotte*
Crappy Commodore*
Saggy-Baggy-Undercrackers*
Terrible Turde-Breathe*
Wouldn’t Knowe ye Truth Even If It crept Uppe & Bit Him On His Bygge Fat Arse
Captain Bullshytte*
Willie Wobblybottome*
El Ronita de Hubba-Hubba*
Mr. Russett-Gussett*
The Bastarde Bigamist*
Old Toade-Face*
Squat, Sordid & Salicious*
Sharke-Mouthed Scamster*
Ghastlie Ginger-Puges*
Ye Plausible Porker*

By: Missionary Kid

Missionary Kid — Thu, 24 Nov 2016 23:23:00 +0000

DAVID MI$CAVIGE NICKNAMES
(*) (it’s supposed to look like a poodle’s …ermm… “kibble exit”).
(dic)tator tot
LEADER OF ANONYMOUS
$lappy Mc$horty
4′ 13”
5-foot Honey Badger
A most Heinous & Hyddeous (withal Minute) Villain**
A person of dubious height
a scotch-swilling, demented, back-stabbing, psychotic hobbit fuck
A.B. Davey (For Apple Box, which he needs to stand on so he can look like he has normal height)
Abbot of Anger
Administrator of Ecclesiastical Beatings Most Holy
Admiral Assclown
Angry Drunken Dwarf Jr. (The original was on Howard Stern)
Angry Elf
Angry Homunculus
Angry Shrimp
Ankle Biter
Anti-Gulliver
Apolocalyptic Dave
Apple Box Davy
Apple Box Socks Miscavige
Area 51 (height in ft.& inches)
Ass Captain
ASSCAPT
Asthmatic Dwarf
Atilla the Shun
Attila the Runt
Baby Troll
Babycorn
Babycorn COB
Bag Of Crap Chairman Of the Board: BOCCOB
Bally Llama
Beloved Leader
Big Bean
Big Bean 2
Big Being
Big Burrito
Big Flea
Big lil One
Big Mouthkavige
Big Thetan
Big Top Slappy
biggest little thetan
Biggest Squirrell in the Gal-UX-ah
biggest thetan in the universe
Billion Year Asshole
Bishop of Baloney
Bishop of bullshit…
Bitchcavige
bitty boots
Bitty Miscaviage (also the name of his sister-in law: he’s the little bitty one)
blab hearted midget
Black Heart MFCS
Black-Hearted Squirrel Smasher
Blackberry Pope
Blackheart
Blackheart Dildo
Blackheart Most Devious
Blathering pompadoured nancyboy
blow chunks
Bog Dave Miscavige
Boss Miscarriage
Brilliant commander (snark)
Bubba’s Ass Bitch
C5-1 (Captain + height in ft & inches)
Cabbage head
Calamity of Brutality (COB)
Caligula of $cientology
Cancerous gnome
Cap’n Lord Hubris
Capo di tutti capi of all of Scientology’s tentacles
Capt. Miscadick
Captain Baby Blackheart
Captain Blackheart
Captain Blackheart McSlavich
Captain Blackheart, SS Division
Captain Brazen Lair Pants on Fire
Captain caveman.
Captain Clam
Captain Clamo
Captain Crook
Captain D. Mousetrapiege
Captain Dastardly Motherf***er
Captain Davey McRevenge-ige
Captain Davey Mistreatage
Captain David “he is NOT insane!” Miscavige
Captain David Mendacious
Captain David Mistakevige
Captain Death March
CAPTAIN Decomposing Meat
Captain Dickwad
Captain Dildo Dave
Captain Douchebag Dave
Captain Douchenozzle Mcsucknuts
Captain Dungy Misleadervige
Captain Five One (feet and inches)
Captain Footbullet
captain fucktard
Captain Knee-High
Captain Lilliput
Captain Little Rodent
Captain McBarmykins
Captain McCabbage
Captain McShortSquirt
Captain Mesquinho
Captain Mini-stabby
Captain Miniature
Captain Miscavige, Pope Homunculus I, Defender of the Absolute Certainty
Captain Mischiefitch
Captain Miskiewicz
Captain Miss Scavenge
Captain MissedtheBoat
Captain Misslappy
Captain Munchkin
Captain niblet (see niblet)
Captain of a ship of fools
Captain One Five Five (Centimeters)
Captain Pain
Captain Piece of Shit
Captain Pissgums**
Captain Pope
Captain Pretentious
Captain Puppeteer
Captain Scammypants
Captain Scary Shitface
Captain Shortypants
Captain Sixty-One (height in inches)
Captain Tiny
Captain Tiny Minitoons
Captain Tiny Turd
Captain Underoos
CaptainPope Miscavige
Cardinal of Brutality
Cardinal Sin
Cee Oh Bees
Chairman Chingadera (chairman motherfucker)
Chairman Mao Miscavige
Chairman Maocavige
Chairman Miscavige
Chairman Mousecage
Chairman Mousecavige
Chairman of the Bored Miscavage
Chairman Of The Hoard
Chairman of the Whores
ChairMao Of the Bored
Chairmidget of the Bored
Chairmonkey of the Board
Charlatan of the Bored
Chastiser Of Beatings
Chastiser of Bivalves
Chastiser of Bivalves
Chef Miscavige
Chicken Of the Board
Chief Bug Squasher
Chief Bullshit Shitter
Chief Rabbi of Insidiousness
Chief Sitting Bullshit
Chuckles the Silly Piggy
chunk head
chunks
Chunky Head
Chunky nuts
Cider Stool Dave
Clam Calamity
Clam King
Clam of God
Clammaster
ClamPope
clown pope
COB (chairmain of the buffoons)
COB (chairman of the Brainwashed)
COB the KNOB
Cobbers the Cruel.
Cobby
Cobholio
Coblet
COBmeister
COBra
COBsr
COBsucker
CODpiece
Coiffed Con Most High
Cold and Devilishous
Colonel Mustard
Command Intention Dwarf
Con Master
Constipated Old Bollix
Convict No. OTVIII
Corn in the COB
Corn on the COB Miscavage
Corrector General of Tubby Hubby
Corrupt Obtuse Blasphemer
Count Derpula
Count Miscavige
Count Of Vampirology
Count Snaggletooth
Count Yorga, vampire
Court Ducker
Coward of Brainwashville
Coward of the Board
COZ – Chairman of the Zombitologists
Creepy Dave
Creepy Hobbit Fucktard
Crooked-Gob**
Curretted Own Bollocks
D!ckless Maggot
Daddy’s Mistake
Daffy Davey Mustravage
Daffy Misfit
Daft Davy
Daft Massingill
Daft Midget
Daft Misfit
Daft Monk
Dafydd*
Dai Scwatbotwm*
Dainty Dave
Dainty Davy Dingbat
Dainty Divot
Dainty Don
Dainty Maize
Dainty Maniac
Dainty Mcsuckige
Dainty MiniPope
Dainty Miss
Dainty Monarch
Dainty Mouse
Dainty Scabbybitch
Damage Mismanage
DaMaged
Damaged Mistletoe
Damian Meanman
Damien MissRuntRage
Damn Miscreant
Damned Misconception Miscavige
Damp Merkin
Damsel Miscavige
Dance Macabe
dancing malignancy
Danger Midget
Dangling Modifier
Dangly Mousdroppings
Dank Muppet
Dante MiscAntichrist
Dapper Misappropriate
Dark Helmet
Dark Helmet
Dark Lord
Dark Menace
dark midget
Dark Mold
Dark Muppet
Darkly Mistaken
Darling Donkey Davey
Darth Midget
Darth Miniscule
Darth Munchkin
Darvon Mckluckin
Das Messiah
Das Midget
Dastardly Dave
Dastardly Davey
Dastardly Malicious
Dastardly Mindfucker
Dat Maniac
Dave ‘Crashing Stats’ Miscavige
Dave “Tiny Fists of Fury” Miscavige
Dave (the punisher) McLouse-infected
Dave Cracksavige
Dave Dastardly
Dave Misbegotten
Dave Miskiewicz
Dave Mismanagement Miscavige
Dave Pakman
Dave Savage Miscavige
Dave the Dickless
Dave the diminuative
Dave the Divot
Dave, the whimp-ass-abuser, Miscavige
Daverator
Davey
Davey “Fake Navy” Miscavige
Davey Boy
Davey Death Eater
Davey dick sucker
Davey Dimwit
Davey dingleberry
Davey do-as-I-say-not-what-I-do
Davey DoLittle
Davey Downstat
Davey DoWrongavige
Davey DreamSmasher
Davey GatBoy II
Davey Little Caesar Miscavig
Davey Little Cockett
Davey Mae
Davey Makadamonich
Davey Makemerich
Davey MasCara
Davey McCraycray
Davey McDoRightWrong
Davey McIntosh
Davey McMansion
Davey McTard
Davey McWeeny
Davey Mickraker
Davey Micromanage
Davey Mindfucker
Davey Mini-Mogullige
Davey Minidick
Davey Miniman
Davey Mis-Scummige
Davey Misbitch
Davey Miscreant
Davey Misfudgekut
Davey Mooseknuckle
Davey Moppet
Davey Moron
Davey Motts
Davey Muchomierda-vig
Davey Mystic Miscavage
Davey of the Fake Navy
Davey Scumbotaige
Davey Scurvey-Dick**
Davey Second Source
Davey Shrimpavige
Davey Smartmouthavige
Davey Smudgebucket
Davey SwindleSavage
Davey the Ball-less Wonder
Davey the Despot
Davey the Douche
Davey the Liquidator
Davey Threeballs (extra testosterone for staff assault)
Davey-bits
Davey, The Little Caterpillar That Couldn’t
David “biting midge” Miscavige
David “El Chapo” Miscavige
David “fucking psychopath” Miscavige
David “he is NOT insane!” Miscavige
David “Rob-The-Hood” Miscavige
David “Two Tents” Miscavige
David “Let Him Die” Miscavige
David Abortion
David Belowaverage
David Cusshavage
David De Fib
David Dickus Microscopous Miscavige
David Diminiscavige
David Macsavage
David Makemerich
David MaskaBitch
David McPrickFaceCavige
David Melowaverage
David MESTcabbage
David Mi$cavige
David Midget
David Minisculavige
David Minisculvige
David Mis Manange
DAvid Mis-Boondoggle
David Miscalculation
David Miscariage-of-Justice
David MisCATvish
David Misclampage
David Miscmidget
David Miscrab-itch
David Miscshit-rash
david miselvis
David Misfit
David Misgarbage
David MisJudgement
David Mislead-iscavige
David MisMaggot
David Mismanagement
David Misplacedhisbitch
David Misreallyisansob
David MissCatShit
David Misscock
David MissDickswallow
David Monstervige
David MunchinMonsteravige
David MustDieAvichs
David Napoleon Miscavige
David Potty-Mouthscavige
David Savage Miscavige
David Slapabitch
David tatertot Miscavige
David The Dwarf
David the Faux Goliath
David The Fuck Miscavige
David the Mousehearted
DavidKaren PouwMiscavige
davidmiscurvage
davidmisscleavage
Davie McShrimpige
Davie Miscabies
Davie Muffcabbage
Davos Mustravage, the evil child-catcher
Davy
Davy “Apple Box” Miscavige
Davy Bones
Davy Dinkyfuhrer
Davy Dipshit
Davy Dwarfenführer
Davy MisSasquatch
Davy Moppet
Davy Mustravage
Davy Peabrain
Davy S.U.A.V.E. (Straight up and vertical equivocator)
Davy Thumb
Davy Wavy Gravy
Dawee
De Mindfuck
Dead Meat
Deadbeat Dave
Deadbeat Malcontent
Deadly Dwarf
Deadly Dwarf
Dean of Hypocritologists
Dear Leader (Likening him to the current leader of North Korea)
dear misleader
dear misleader
Death Midge
Deceitful Masturbator
Deceitful Mumblemouth
Declining Microman
Decomposing Meat
Decomposing Mussel
Dedicated Misanthrope
defective messiah
Defendant Micromanagement
Defendant Micropeen
Defendant Midget
Defendant Misogynist
Defendant Moron
Definite MisNapping
Definitely Mediocre
Degraded Demented Deluded Deranged Dave Savage Miscavage
Delicate Mischief
Delicate Misogynist
Delightful Mud-fucker
Delirious Macrologist
Delirious Megalomaniac
Deluded McSavage
Deluded Mouse
Delusional Davey
Delusional Madman
Delusional Meglomaniac
Delusional Miscreant
Demented Don
demented maggot
Demented Manager
Demented Master
Demented Midget
Demented Miscarriage
Demented Mistake
Demented Moneygrabber
demented protege
Demi-Douche
DeMinimus
DeMon
Demon Micro-Manager
Demon Midget
Demon Mortis
demon mutt
Demonic Dildo
Demonic MidgetMaster
Demonic Monster
Demonically Motivated
Demonstrable Moron
Denial Manifest
Denied Mandamus
Dense Midget
Deposed Megalomaniac
Der Dwarfenfuehrer
Der Flunkenfuhrer
Der Furor
Der Kleine Hitler
Der Kleinegrupenfuhreur (Der Kleine Gruppenführer)
Der Leader
Der Manchild
Der Massengil
Der Midget
Der MiniFuehrer
Der MiniFuhruer
Der Miscarriage
der shrimpenheimer
Der Slapmeister
Deranged Demented Degraded Dave Rabid Savage Miscavage
deranged murderer
Derp Missmatchmidge
Derpy McClesiastavige
Derpy Midget
Desiccated Milquetoast
Desperate Mediocrity
Desperate Midget
Despicable Malice
Despicable Me
Despicable Midget
Despicable MiniMe
Despicable Misanthrope
Despoiler of Childhood
Despotic Dwarf
Despotic Madman
Despotic Minitaur
Destiny’s Midget
Devil Masquerading
Devil’s Douchebag
Devil’s Miscarriage
Devious Malfactor
Devious Master
Devious Midget
Devised Malfeasance
Devoid Maravigghia (Sicilian, without wonder)
diabetes mellitus (a horrible disease)
Diabolical Davey
Diarrhea Man
Diarrheal Movement
Dick Mask
Dick Microscopic.
Dick Moneygrubber
Dick on a Box
Dick Payne
dick tater
Dick-less Minister
Dickbag Miscavige
Dickhead McDildo
Dickhole Manipulator
Dickish Midget
Dickless
Dickless Manchild
Dickless Mastter-bator
Dickless midget
Dickless Misogynist
Dickless Mite
Dickless Monitor
Dicklesstator
Dickus Microscopis
Dickus Minimus
Dickus Minimus
Dickwipe
Dictator Masquerade
Dictator Midget
Dictator of Mismanagement
Dictator Tot
DictatorALot (like SpamALot)
Diddly Micromanager
Diddy Dave
Diddy Davykins
DiddyMeister
DieEvilMunchkin
Diggity McDog
Dildo Blackheart
Dildo Dave
Dildo Davey
Dildo Master
Dildo Mcmidget
Dildo Mcruntage
Dildo Minister
Dildo Missionary
Dillnozzle McScroteless
Dim Fuckmudget
Dim Miss Radish
Dim Mucosoid
Dim Weasel
Dimbulb Miscalculation
Dime Manager
Diminished Mapother
Diminished Mentation
Diminished Misfit
Diminished Profit
Diminishing Microweenie
Diminishing Miniscule
Diminunitive Psychopath
Diminutive Anti Christ
Diminutive Dave
Diminutive Dave
diminutive dictator
Diminutive Dimwit
Diminutive Dimwit
diminutive Director
Diminutive Dwarf,
Diminutive Leader
Diminutive Malevolent
Diminutive Malignancy
Diminutive Manchild
Diminutive Master
Diminutive miscreant
Diminutive Mouse
Diminutive Munchkin
diminutive sociopathic tyrant
Dimly Lit Dung Beetle
Dimly Munchkin
Dimtard Mass-suckage
Dimunitive miser
Dimunitive Miss
Dimunutive Meddler
dimwit Davy
Dimwit Dwarf
DimWit McSavage
Dimwit Midget
Dimwit Miscavige
Dimwit Misplacedmybitch
Dimwit Moron
Dimwit Munchkin
Dimwitted One
Dimwitted Weasel
Dimwitus Maximus
Dinglebat Mi$cavige
Dingleberry McDooDoo
Dingleberry Meathead
Dingleberry Miscrapedhispants
Dink Marauder
Dinkus Magee
Dinky
Dinky D!cky Dave
Dinky Dick Miscavige
Dinky Dictator
Dinky Makemerich
Dinky Man
Dinky Massengil
Dinky Mayor
Dinky McSavage
Dinky McSlappage
Dinky Member
Dinky Microman
Dinky Midget
Dinky Mindfuck
Dinky Miscavige
Dinky Misconduct
Dinky Mismanage
Dinky Mismanager
Dinky Miss
Dinky Moneygrabber
Dinky Moneygrubber
Dinky Monster
Dinky Mousebrain
Dinky One
Dinkyfuherer
Dip Maldrip
Dip Mudkip
Dipshit Miniscule
DipsoManiacal Crock O’ Bullshit
Dipstick Mucilage.
Dipsy Misdriven
Dire Malcontent
Director of Mesothelioma
Dirt Magnet
Dirtbag Dave
Dirtbag Misogynist
Dirtbag Mudfuck
Dirtbag Muppet
Dirty MicroPope
Dirty Mismanage
Dirty Mistake
Dirty Mud-spatter
Dirty Muskrat
Disadvantage Miscavige
Disappointed Maus
Disappointed Menace
Discalculia Melancholia
Discivil Meanness
Disconnection Dickie
Disconnector of Mothers
Disconsolate Meanness
Discord Munchausen
Discordant Misconception
Discreditable Munchkin
Dishonest Munchausen
Dismal Miscreant
Dismal Missile
Dismally Miniscule
Displaced Midget
Disputatious Malefactor
Dissolute Mook
Distant Mutton
Distillers’ Misanthrope
Distinguished Moron
Distracted Malignant
Disturbing Midshipman
Dithering Micromanager
Ditzy Masochist
Diva Manchild
Diva Misscabiatch
Diva of Misery
Divine Master
Divot Mashedcabbage
Divot Mindscavenge
Dizzard Malicious
DLHDM (David “Let Him Die” Miscavige)
DM Dud
DM Dude
Dmass
Dmidget
dmshit
Do Lie Lama
Dodgy Dave
Dodgy Micromanager
Dollar Miscavige
Dollarbill Madman
Dolt Mismanage
Dom Miscavige
Don Mini-me
Donkey Mini-Me
Doober McStooge
Doofus Minorus
Doofus Mustard-itch
Doogie McSlappy
Doomed Malefactor
doopid mishitvage
Dopey Midget
Doubledown Miscalamity
Douche Baggins
Douche Meister
Douche Micro
Douchebag Dave
douchebag miscreant
Douchecanoe Malificent
Douchey Meritorious
Downstat Dave
Downstat Miscavige
Downtrodden Mealyworm
Dr. Dismal Misfit
Dr. Dracuscavige
Dr. Midget
Draconian Midget
Dracula Miscavige
Draft Moron
Drag Midget Queen
dRatty McSavage
Dreadful Mismanager
Dribbler MisTinkle
Dribbling Dwarf
Dribbling Micturant
Drip Mustrage
Drivel McMidget
Droitless Mischief
Drunken Cult Operating Pimp (DCOP)
Drunken Maggot
Drunken Malefactor
Dubious Master
Dubious Microbe
Dubious Mustard
Due Little
Dufus Maximus
Duh Mallethead
Duke of Oil
Dull Metal
Dullard Microbrain
Dumb ass Dave
Dumb Makemerich
Dumb Midget
Dumbass Mischling
Dumbass Moocher
Dummy Midget
Dumpy Misscavenger
Duncecap Dave
Dung Magnet
Dung Master
Dungeon Master
Dungpuncher Douchebag
Duplicitous Migraine
Duplicitous Morbidite
Durwood McDumbdick
Dwarf Boy
dwarf defendant David Miscavige
Dwarf King
Dwarf Maggot
Dwarf Master
Dwarf Megalo-man(iac)
Dwarf Midget
Dwarf Miniscule
dwarf tosser
Dwarf Vader
dwarfAdmiral
Dwarfe Malignente
Dwarfen Maggot
dwarfenator
Dwarfenfuehrer
dwarfenfuror
DwarfenOz
Dwarfish Malignancy
Dwarfish Munchkin
Dwarfmeister
dwarfnuts
Dwarven Massengi
dwergen fuehrer (dwergen = dwarves)
dwergenfuherer
Dwindly McSewage
Dwindy Minisculiages
Dysfunctional Minotaur
Dyslexic Mangler
Dyspeptic Misanthrope
e-sleazy-ass-tickle
Earl of thetandicks
Ecchlesiastical Leader (as MAD magazine would put it)
Ecclesiastibator
Ecclesiastical Dildo
Ecclesiastical Emir of Enemas and Ejaculates
ecclesiastical midget
Ecclesiastical Midget.
Ecclesiasticator
Ecclesiastipope Miscavige
Ecclesiasturbator
eccsleazeiastical leader
Ecsleazeiastical Leader
El Davito
El Dwarfo
El Muchacho Pequeño, (trans. The small boy).
El niño de gran jefe, (trans. The big boss boy)
El Wacko
Eleventy star general
EllRich
Emperor Clampatine, His most Minuscule
Emperor Miscavige
Emperor of Clams
Emperor Slappamus Ultravox
Enrique Entheta (family nickname!)
Eric Cartman (ref: South Park)
esleaziastical leader
EVIL ELF
Evil Genius
Evil Midget
Evil Midget Troll
Evil overload
Evil short Tyrant
Fake Humanitarian.
Fake Navy Davy
Fearful Fud
Fearful Leader With Ten Little Piggy Toes
Fearless Leader
Ferret on Steroids
Fights-Like-A-Weak-Girly-Then-Runs-Away **
Five Foot One
Fleet Admiral Fistfuck
Fleet Admiral MissCabin
Fleet Admiral MissCabin
Fleet Admiral Wankstain
Fleet Enema(Trademark)
Fluffy Little Tail
Flying monkey
Footbullet Emperor of the GuhLAXy
Fork Tongue
Former Mighty Mouse Miscavige
Four Foot Thirteen
Fraudfather
Freddy Footbullet
Fuck Face
Fucking Megalomaniac
Fucknut
fucktard
Fuckwit
Furious Homunculus
Furious Midget
Furry Fists of Fury
Future Jailbird
Ghenghis McSavage
gnome
Gobshite
God-Emperor of Hemet
Grand Dwarf
Grand Ecclesiatical Leader
Grand Exalted Mollusk Monarch
Grand Poohbah and Ecclesiastical Scammaster
Grand Poop
Grand Pope
Grand Religious Poobah
gravy Davy
Half-man.
Halfman
Ham Hock
Hamstercavige
Hard Face
He Who Adds Misplaced Commas
He Who Must Be Blamed
He Who Must Be Obeyed.
He Who Must Be Shamed
He Who Rants About Semicolons
He Who Should Probably Wear Lifts
He Who We Love To Name
Heartless Knave
Helmet Hair
Here’s group 4A4 of DM nicknames.
Herr Capitaine Miscavige
High School Dwarf-Out
High School Dwarf-Out (Commander, O-5)
High school dwarf-out.
His Ass-Holiness, the Dwope (dwarf + pope) of Spyingtology
His Asshole-iness
His Assholiness
His Claminess
His Dark Malevolenc
His Dmness
His Ecsleaziastical Eminence
His Highnessless
His Holeyness
His Howlingness
His Imperial Ecclesiasticalness
His Imperial Oiliness
His Imperial Slappiness
His Imperial Teensyness
His Inane Ignorance
His Midgetness
His Midgetsy
His Miniature Excellency
His Minusculeness
His Most Ecclesiastical Sleaziness
His Most Magnanimous Deviousness
His Most Oleaginous Highness
His Most Oleaginous Highness, Little Lord Fontelroy
His Oiliness
His Royal Asshole (HRA)
his royal lowness
His Satanic Pantwetting Majesty
His Skanktannic Majesty
His Skantastic Majesty
His Smallness
His Smarminess
His Soil-y-ness
His tininess
His Tiny Popinessess
His Unholiness
his wanna-be holiness
Hisself the Popishness
Hobbit fuck
Hollow Heels
Homunculous Novis
Homunculus Horribilis
Human tiny
Idiot Midget
Idol-master
Igor to “Dr” L. Ron Crankenstein
Il Douche
Imam of indecency…
In Trouble In Texas
Inchworm
Invisible Toxic Midget
Itty Bitty Davy
jerkwad
jobbernowl
Judas of ARC
Keeper of the Keys to The Hole and the RPF and the Bridge.
Kim Jong Mustravage
Kim-Jong-Un-Mustravage
King Clam
King cultroach
King Klown
King of Footbullets
King of Seaborgs
King of the underoos
King Twat
Knavey Davey
Knee-High Nazi
KNOB
L’ill Douche
Lady Davina Miscavige
Lafayette Ronnie
Lafayette’s Baby
Laughingstock of the internet
LCon’s bootboy
Le Nain Mortelle (The Deadly Dwarf)
leatherfaced midget
Legal Lilliputian
Leroy’s Bitch (a prison name)
lil Captain
Lil D
Lil Demon Dave
Lil FiveOne (feet & inches)
Lil FiveOne: a psycho
lil fuhrer
Lil Kim Jong Deuce
lil moron
lil slap crazy pope
Lil’ Davey
Lil’ Davey Limpdick
Lil’ Despot
Lil’ four thirteen
Lil’ Leader
Lil’ Pope
Lil’ Ronnie Humptypants
Lil’ Davey the Mythomaniac
Lilliputian dingdong
Lilliputian Lunatic
limpdick, who can’t get it up
Little Big Man
Little Bitch
Little Bitty One
Little Boots
Little Bottom
Little Butcher
Little Caesar
Little Caesar
Little Captain
Little Davey Blue
Little Davey Misanthrope
Little Davy Square Pants
Little Diablo
Little Dick
little Dick Turd
Little Dirk Digger
Little Divot
Little Duck Dick
Little ferret
little fidget
Little Fist
Little Fisticuff
Little Fucker
little furry Enemy
Little Hitler
Little Lord Fontelroy
Little Lord Pompadour
Little Midget Dick Blister
little midget dickblister
Little Miz Bitch
Little Monkey
Little Napoleon
Little Nero
Little One
little preposterous Pope
Little Rat
Little Shit
Little Tator Tot the Dicktator
Littleman
Littlest Caligula
Littlest Despot
Littlest Führer
Littlest Miscavenger
Littleus Minimus
lolliCOB
Lord High Clam
Lord Hubris
Lord Hubris von Nebraska
Lord Minimus
Lord Miscavige
Lord of Darkness
Lord of the Blessed Isles beyond the IRS.
Lord of the Clams
Lord of the Footbullet
Lord Thumbscrew
Louche Douche
Lying King
Machiavellian Midget
Macsavage
Mad – scabbage
Mad Hatter Miscavige
mad king
Mad Monarch
madman midget
Makemerich
malevolent homunculus
Malevolent Machiavellian Midget
Malicious Dwarf
Malignant Dwarf
Malignotov Davidovich
Man of Steal
Man of the Scotch
man toddler
man-chicken
Maniacal Midget
maniacal munchkin
Mao-Cavige
Mascagni
Mascivet
Mask-a-Bitch
Master Con
Maus König
Mavid Discavige
McCabbage
McCalamity
McDivot Backstabbage
McEvil
McMidget
Mcmismanage
McPope
McRuntage
McSavage
Mcscabbage
McScabbitch
McScabby
McScammer
McScavenger
McShitforbrains
McSlappy
Mean Missy Cavige
Mean-spirited Midget
Measly Dumbass
meglomaniac middget
megomaniacal douchebag
mental midget
Merchant of Chaos
Merchant of Merde
Mestcabbage
Mexican Midget Wrestler
Micro man
micro miscavige
Micromanhandle
Micromeglomaniac
micromidget
micropenis
MicroPope
Microscopic Madman
Midget Bitch
Midget Dictator
Midget dummy Soupy Stalin
Midget Dwarf Miscatbitch
Midget fascist pseudo pop-up pope
midget fuckstick
Midget Makemerich
Midget Miscavige
Midget Mouse
Midget Mussolini
Midget Robespierre
Midget Ron Burgandy of cults
Midget Troll
midgetAdmiralPope
Midgeteer
mighty mental midget
Mighty MEST
mighty midget
Mighty Mini Mistakige
Mighty Mite
Mighty Mouse
Mighty Mousecavige
Mighty MouseScabige
Mighty Mousse
mighty mousse
MightyMiniMoron
militant midget
Mindscavinge
Mini Caesar
Mini Dink
Mini Hitler
Mini Me
Mini Stalin
Mini Tyrant
Mini-Malevolence
Mini-MeScavige
Mini-Mountebank Miscsavage
Miniature Captain
Miniature Machiavelli
miniature mobster
Minibritches
MiniFuehrer
Minimus Maximus
Miniscavige
Miniscule Miscreant
Minister of Malice
Minunitive Minotaur
minute Miscavige
Mis’dcourage
MisanthroPope
Miscabbage
Miscabitch
Miscabullshit
Miscadick
Miscarnage
Miscarriage
MisCarrion
Miscavamatics (for his scientology math)
Miscavarallies (for his morgue openings and other annual events)
Miscaville
Miscavity
Miscmidget
Miscmunchkin
Misconceived
Miscy Mouse
Misdamage
Misdavige
MisEntropic
miserable asthmatic misanthropic pissmire
Misfit Toy
Misgarbage
MisGoofage
Misleaze
Mismaggot
Mismanage
MisManage
Mismanager
Miss Cabbage
Miss Carnage
MISS cavige
Miss Crab-itch
Miss D. Meaner
miss manage
Miss scab balls
Miss Tradgedy
Miss Tragic
MisScavenge
MissCobbage
Missedcavige
missincabbage
Missing Gasket
MissSavage
MisStakige
Missy Miscavige
MissyMuskavige
Mistakiage
Mister Piece of Shit
Mister Scab-itch
MistrustRavage
Mixmaster
Miz Bitch
Miz Panty Bitches
Miz Panty Britches
Mohammad’s Momma (a prison name)
Money Badger
Money Miscavige
Montana Munchausen
Most Unctuous Oleaginosity
Motivated Demon
Mouse king
mouse King-Machiavellian midget-asthmatic dwarf
Mouse-caviage, rodent king of the clams
Mouse-caviege His hole-iness
Mousecavige
Mousekavige
Mouseking Midget
Mousey McScaviage
Mousketeer Malice
Mousyscabiage
Mr Stacked-heels.
Mr. Avid Missilecatcher
Mr. Cabbage
Mr. D. Mistaken4 aMan
Mr. Davey Mae Miscavige
Mr. David MisDuplicity
Mr. Derpid Minotaur
Mr. Itty Bitty
Mr. Micromanage
Mr. MisAsshole
Mr. Miscabitch
Mr. Miscabitch
Mr. Munchkin
Mr. Psycho
Mr. Slappy Toes
Mr. Supreme Mighty Midgetscavige
Mr. Tantrum Man
Mr. Weebody
Ms Scabbitch
Muff Cabbage
Munchkin
Munchkin Banshee
Munchkinführer
Musclehead
Mustachevich
Mustravage
Mustvanish
Musty McFudgepacker
Myslappyface
Mythomaniac
Nadir Leader
nain sauvage (French for savage dwarf)
Napoleon Mismanage
NARCISSISTIC ASSHOLE DWARF HOBBIT FUCK!
NARCISSISTIC ASSHOLE DWARF!
Nasty Little Puke-Face**
Needle dick
Nero McSavage
niblet (Ref: corn on the COB)
Nincompope of Scientology
Nipple Head (Where the top of his head brings him in relation to many women).
nipplehead
Not David Mismancha
Not David Misquixote
Not-So-Secret Squirrel
NotQuite51 (height in ft.& inches)
noxious nanoid
Nubs
Oberslappenfuherer Miscavige
Obispo Es Bajo De Cajones(¨the short-as-fuck bishop)
Oil sucker
oily fucker
Omnincompoopitent
One Fifty Five (his height in centimeters)
One hundred and fifty-five centimeters of mean
One more fuckup
One shoe short of a midget.
Oompa Loompa
Org Ogre Most Unctuous,
Osama Bin Davey
overdressed Ooompa Loompa
Ozymandias
Padre of Pendejos (father of dickheads)
Padre of Perdition
Pajillero Pontiff (the wanker pontiff)
Papal Duncio
paper tiger shrimp
Paranoid Megalomaniac Sociopath
Parapope.
pathetic psychopath
Patron Convictus
Pee Wee Herman
Pee Wee McBully
Pencil-Dick-Homo
Perp-squeek
Perpsqueak
person of dubious height
person of interest Miscavige
Petite pontificating ponce
petite tyrant
Petty Little Bitch – Mareka Brousseau
PettyParaPope
Petulant Pontiff
Pharaoh Miscavige
Pick-Scabbage
Pie-face
Pied Viper
Pig’s-Manners**
pimp ass’d weasel “leader”
Pimp Imp
Pimp-Slappy Mi$cavidge
Pimpo Novis
Pimpsqueak
Pinnochio on a Toadstool
Pinocchio
pinocchio on a footstool
Pint sized pontiff
Pint sized tyrant
Pint-sized Fuhrer
Pipsqueak Pope
Piscop of pissants. (Piscop=bishop in old English)
Pissant Toadstool
PissCabbage
Pisscavige
Pissflapscavige
Planned Parenthood poster child.
Pleasedon’tdeposeme
Pocket Pope
Poison Pope
Pompadour
Pompadour Davey
Pompous Pope of Perdition
Pompous Pustulance
Pontifex Minimus
Poodle
Poop of Scientology
Poop of Scientology
Pope Asshole II
Pope Captain Blackheart
Pope Ecclesiasticus
Pope Homunculus I
Pope in Pampers
Pope L CON Hubbard the second
Pope Niblet
Pope of Blackberry
Pope of Clam Chowder
Pope of Clamotology
Pope of Clams
Pope of Clearwater
Pope of Paranoia
Pope of Penquins.
Pope of Perdition
Pope of Potty Mouth
Pope of Scientology
pope of sillyology
Pope of Sps
Pope on the Box
Pope Pompadorable
Pope Tronmatic Sack Disorder
Pope-a-dope
Pope-On-A-Soapbox
Popey
Popey the SeaOrg man
Poppet
Potty Chair Kid
potty-mouthed psychopath
Power Mad Twerp
Poxy pud
Prickus Americanus
Priest of perversity…
Prince Humperdink
Prisoner #4747474747
Prophet of Pain
Pseudo Pope
pseudo scientific evangelist
Pseudo-Pope of the Unholy Alleged Church
Psycho Smurf
Psychopath Wanker Pontiff
psychopathic pompadoured pimp
Psychoscavige
psychotic munchkin dictator
Punchin’ Munchkin
Punching Pontiff.
Punching Pope
Punchy
Punchy Dweeble
Quark Brain
Rabbi of Righteousness
Rabid MisCabbage
Rabid Piscabidge**
Ramrod Ron
Rancid Rat
Ratty Bratty Slappy
Rear Admiral Shortarse and bottoms
Robo-Pope
RoboCob
Rodent of Unusual Size
Rodmeister
Ron Burgundy of Cults
Rottenskankage
Royal Ankle Biter
Royal Douche nozzle
Ruinous Runt
Runt in Charge.
Runt Squirrel
RUNT!
Runty Dinktator
Russett-Gussett**
sadistic dwarf
sailor boy
Salacious B. Crumb
Sauron Miscavige
savage Dwarf
Savage Miscavage
Savage Miscavage Mustravage
Savage Misdickus
Savage Shrimp
Sawed-Off Cocksucker
Scabbage
Scabby Bitch
Sci Furher
Scientolgy’s Pope
Scientolonuts
Scion Pope
sCOhB
Scroocavige
Scruffy McStuffy
Scruffy McStuffy, the Tiny Titmouse King
scum beneath the sewage
scurvy rat
Serial Terrorist
Shirvell’d Dwarf-Balls**
Shit nugget.
Shitinimself
shitting dwarf
Short Asshole
Short Bus Davy
Short Bus Shorty
Short Dave Silvers
Short Notice
Short One
Short Stack
Short Stalin
Shortarse
Shortie
Shortlock Holmes
Shortshanks
Shortstack Holmes
Shorty
Shorty McFistTiCuffs
Shouty Shortarse**
Shrimp Pimp
Shrimplette
Sideshow COB
Sie Gott verdamme Schwanzlutscher auf dem Hollywood Boulevard (YSCOHB)
Sin Bad the Failure
Sixty-One inches of mean
Slap Happy
Slaphappy Shitebreath
slapping dwarf
slapping little worm
slapping midget
Slappy
slappy little worm
Slappy McNutts
Slappy McPunch
Slappy Miscabbage
Slappy Miscassface
Slappy Miscmidget
Slappy Slakbladder**
Slappy Squirrel
Slappy the Eight Minute Wonder Ref: Short speech at SP building opening.
Slappy the Fake Punchin’ Pope
Slappy the Mini-Pope
Slappy the Punching Pope
Sluggard
Sluggo
Smack Daddy
Smackdaddy Most Holy
Small group leader
Small-Minded Dictator
Smarmy Smurf
Smelly Squatbottom**
Snake Eyes Davy
Snortimer Pigglesworth
SOB COB
Sphincter Pope
spoilt poison dwarf
spokesmidget for Scilontoology
Squatbottom
Squirm Worm
Squirmy McSlimeage
Squirrelscavige
Squirty McSmalliage.
Squrrlnutz.
Stinking Cabbage
STINKINGCABBAGE
Stumpy Blackheart
Superchump
Suppressive Pipsqueak
Supreme Commander Of the Holy Battleship (SCOHB)
Tadger
Tallest Ideal Dwarf Pontiff
Tampon
Tantruming Toddler
Tater Tot
teeny little homunculus
Teeny Teratogenic
Teeny Weinie
Teflon Con
Teflon Pope
Teratogenic Tyrant
the Boogalloo Shrimp of Scientology
The Cheshire Cat
the Choke of Scamatology
The Dark Lord Chuckles The Silly Piggy
the Dildo of our Disconnect
The Dim One
The Elfish one.
The ElfMan
The Fidgeting Midget
The Joker
The Knight Who Says “Nix”.
The Lawn Ornament
The Little Fisticuff
The Little Man With Asbestos Riddled Brains
The Man Who Just Didn’t Get It
The official “Pimp” of Scientology
the perverter
The pimp of Scientology
The smallest erect member
The Tiny Master
The Tiny of Terror Town
The Tiny Terror of Tootville
The Toeless One (refer to all his footbullets)
The Unflushable Floating Turd.
The Wee $h*t
Thetan of Satan
Tight-y Tiny Tyrant
tim’rous beastie [Ref: Robert Burns]
Tiny Ahab
Tiny Booted one
Tiny Boots
Tiny Cancer
Tiny Corn COB
Tiny Crackpot
Tiny Cuntroller
Tiny Dancer
Tiny Dave
Tiny dick
Tiny Dick(tator)
tiny dicked midget
Tiny Dim
tiny Dweeb-scavige
Tiny Fist Fuckface
Tiny Fists
Tiny Grand Captain of Scientology
Tiny Hook [Ref: Peter Pan]
Tiny little Sirry with with the Fringe on the Top
Tiny Majesty
Tiny McCallan
Tiny Member
tiny midget king
Tiny Nuts
Tiny of Terror Town
Tiny omnipotent one
Tiny Pope
Tiny Psycho
Tiny Slappy Tyrant
Tiny Sphincter
Tiny Tadger
Tiny Teflon Don
Tiny Terror
Tiny Terror of Trophies
tiny testees
Tiny Tim
Tiny Titmouse King
Tiny tosser
Tiny Tosspot
Tiny Turdlette
Tiny Twat
Tiny Twit
Tiny Tyrannical Tot
Tiny Tyrant
Tinyfists Mustravage
titanic tosser
titular twit
Tolouse Laucavige.
Tom Riddle (Voldemort’s real name)
Tom Thumb of The Cult of $cientology.
tormentor-in-chief tosser-of-clams (TIC TOC)
Toxic Dwarf
Toxic Midget
Toxic, greedy, shrimp.
Toxicopestis Miscavigii
Traveling Gnome
Tricky Dickhead
Troll McTurdsniffer
tuffed McCabbage
Turd Nugget
Turd Pope
Turdlette
TweedleDeeM
Tweedledumiscavige
Twerpus Humonculous
two-bit tortured tiny tinpot tosser
typhoid turd
Tyrannosaurus Minimus
Uberdouche
uberwanker
Un-Happy-Slappy
Unctuous Oiliness Supreme
Unctuous Oiliness Supreme
Unnameable One
Urban Blight
vertically challenged pope
Vicar Most Vicious
Vicar of victimisation…
Violent Midget
violently insane dwarf
violently slapping lunatic
virulent bastard
Voldemort
Walking Little Shitstain
Walking Massingill
Wank Stain Mah Cob
Wankmeister
Wavey Davey (Also Wavy Davy)
Weasel-in-Chief
Weazle Monkey
Wee Davey
wee Ecclesiastical Captain Bastard
Wee Heir
wee nubbin
Wee Nut
Wee One
Wee Pontifex
Wee Slap-Happy
wee sleekit Beastie (small, sly, wicked beast – Robert Burns)
Wee Wonky Miscavige
Wee, sleekit, cow’rin’, tim’rous beastie [Ref: Robert Burns]
Who Will Not Tell The Truth
wiggler in chief
Wile E. Miscavige
Willful Poophead
wimp ass pussy pimp weasel
Wingnut
winzig Fuhrer [little Fuhrer]
Wiskey-Breath**
Wittle Davy Piddlepants
Wizard of Ooze
WussCabbage
Xenu’s Chew Toy
Xenutoid
Yardstick
Your Holeness
Zero Nero
Zygote Munter

*From a small Welsh tribe of idiots who sailed to Pagagonia in stone boats.
i was just musing on variants of Shortarse… and Dai Squatbottom (wishful thinking for die, squatbottom!) and his stone boat sprang into horrid being.
Dai is the short familiar version (like “Lew” for Llewellyn or “Glyn” for Glyndwr/Glendower).
Scwatbotwm is probably how you’d spell Squatbottom in Welsh orthography
**From a poster for a mythical pirate, Captain Blackheart posted by Mark

By: Missionary Kid

Missionary Kid — Thu, 24 Nov 2016 23:22:00 +0000

MISERABLE $CIENTOLOGISTS

Douchbag Club for those who’ve done despicable things
Elena Cardone
Grant Cardone
Hugh Power
Kirstie Alley
Tom Cruise
Tommy Davis

Entries are in order of last names.

Nicknames for Kirstie AlleyComments about weight, but Kirstie herself makes them about herself, and since the list was started, she has lost a lot of it.
Classy Kirstie Alley
Bitch of Boohoo
Blind Alley – made by Tiziano Lugli
Brainwashed Bimbo Krusty Kreme the Queen of Denial
Countess of C#nt
Creepy Un Neutered Twat
Dead End Alley
Despoiler of Nights.
Dutchess of Dis
fatback
Fudgie the Whale
Hefty Harridan Hussey
Her Royal Oiliness
Jabba the Hutt
Kaiju Krusty
Kirstie Alley: Ruiner of Days
Kirstie Krazy Alley
Kirstie Monster
Kirstie the Hutt
Krasstie
Krispy
Krosty Olly
Krustapottamus
Krustizilla
Krusty
Krusty Airhead
Krusty Kling-on
Krusty Kunt
Krusty the blimp
Krusty the Klammy Klown
Krusty The Snowjob Man
Lady of Lunacy
Maid of Malevolence
Ms. Bon Bon
official Apocalypse Sow
Petulant POS
termagant toady
Thar she blows
The Cuntess
The Prima Donna of the D-list
Tweetzilla
unemployed clam cow
Witch of Wichita

THINGS SAID ABOUT KIRSTIE ALLEY:

Things Said About her house in Maine:
Barbie’s Fever Dream House
Barbie’s Worst Acid Trip House of Horrors!
I thought Mattel managed to withdraw all those back in the 70s…
It’s decorated in cupcake frosting, with sprinkles
It’s nothing a little bit of pink might fix.
Pept-abysmal
pepto bismal palace
Pepto Bismo Palace
Pepto Dismal Palace
Puke Palace
The Pink Canker.
You’ve heard of Barbie’s Dream House? Well, this is her NIGHTMARE.

Things Said About Kirstie herself:
An apt quote form “Time Bandits” applies to her – “you’re so mercifully free from the ravages of intelligence”
Battlefield Girth
Can you imagine how dumb Kirstie Alley was before she had her I.Q. Increased by LRH’s tech?
It’s widely known that Alley has trouble keeping her mouth shut, even between bites.
KA is so fat, when she backs up, she beeps!
Keeping Scientology Whaling
Keeping Scientology Whining
Kirstie Alley has an OTVIII level in fried foods
Kirstie Alley: a bleached whale
Kirsty has the ability to pick a fight while locked in an empty room.
Ruiner of Days, Despoiler of Nights.
She may have had a silent birth, but she hasn’t really been silent since, has she?
She wrote a screenplay, “CHEER$ – where every reg knows your name.”
She’s so elephant.
She’s very deep. Like a cavern filled with guano.
That Kirstie, so klassy.
Who needs friends when you have lemurs and lots of food to fill that gaping hole in your psyche?

ANNE ARCHER (Tommy Davis’ mom)
Nanazilla (Tommy is about to become a father)
the Herman Goering of Clams

Things said about Elena Cardone & her Nicknames
Doucherin
Douchess
Elena acts like the day shift stripper who turned tricks at the airport Marriot under the stage name of “Charity” and finally gave the right lap dance/handy to the right john.
Elena Crapdome
Elena No Braina’
Harpy Cardone
indouchian
Mrs. Asshat
Olive Oyl
Queen of Douchebags
The Whore of Babble-On
The Wicked Queen

Things said about Grant Cardone & his Nicknames
47x Shades of Cray: The Grant Cardone Story
A case of delusional euphoria
Always sleazier than you think.
Cardonehole
Chato – Brazilian slang for Completely Annoying
Don Cardouche
Douchey the Dwarf
Fart Cardone
Grant “Sociopath” Cardone
Grant (“neck thicker than head”) Cardone
Grant acts like the fading frat boy who was bottom of his pledge class, and barely made the cut because he knew somebody. But he’s the loudest, most obnoxious one at the party, he admits to and prides himself on slipping roofies to freshmen, and commits several counts of date rape. Also his personal anthem is “Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke
Grant Cardone is a human bed bug.
Grant Cardone- Paddling Down the Looping Water-Park Lazy River to Total Freedom in a Gold Plated Douche Canoe.
Grant Cardone, human streptococcus bacteria
Grant Cardone, sitting president of the Grant Cardone fan club and asshattery.
Grant Cardouche
Grant CONdone
Grant is Ted Bundy with slightly more self-control
Grant just can’t stop talking about how awesome Grant is
He doesn’t brush his teeth. It causes hemorrhoids.
He supplies his own stupid.
indouchian
King of Douchbags
level 47 douchecanoe
Mac Daddy of Asshats
middle-aged white dude pretending to string pseudo-coherent sentences together
middle-aged white dude trying to be cool.
Pimpo Novis
postulating pustulant
spavined brain
SquareGrant DouchePants
The Great Cardonihole
Uberdouche
Ubiquitous douchebag
Walking Messingil

Things said about the Cardones
Cardones – Kardashians of scientology.
Double Douche
Double Douchebags
douchecanoe
Grunt & Enema Carjack
In answer to the demand to “Find successful scientology tools” a Bunkaroo answered, “Heh, no thanks. Grant & Elena Cardone are enough for me.”
King and Queen of Douchbags
Los Dos Douches
Pimp and Pimpette
Rant & Enema Carwreck
Runt & Hyena Cartoonish
Sort of a pity, a douche is a useful product, the Cardones, not so much.

THINGS SAID ABOUT CLARK CARR:
Typical Scientologist comedian: he’s only funny when he’s deadly serious.
Carr-ion

Nancy Cartwright
A cartoon like Buddha from a cartoon voice over actress in support of a cartoon-like religion.
Cartwrong
Governess of the Valley El Barto
Her Royal Duchess Divine Queen of Valley Muppets
Her Royal Governor
Nancy “becoming God” Cartwright
Nancy Bartwright
Nancy Carthorse
Nancy Fart-right
Nancy Not-right.
Royal Crackpot of the Valley West of the Rockies

Captain Howdy started this explosion of Doggerell about Nancy Cartwright. The * tells who came up with the variation on the last two lines.
She claps like a seal
And hops like a frog
They call her Nancy
But her real name is God
*Graham
You can call her Nancy
But never call her Wog.
*HillieOnTheBeach
You can call her Nancy
What the fuck? says my dog
*Espiando
You can call her Nancy
or “Soo-eee!” like a hog
*Illinoisian
She’s a zany inspiration
For the poets on this blog.

ChillEB
Clue-less, with chin ornaments.
Is he the cop from the Village People?
Isaac Hayes ultra-lite
Post-modern Scilon Pimp
Chilli-B
Chill EB
Chilliy-Willy-Jelly-Bean

TOM CRUISE
$cienMan
Couch Jumper
Cruise Misshole
Davy’s little toy
ElfMan
His Royal Cruiseness
Jerry McGlib
Jerry McGLIBIDITY
Jerry McGullible
Little Tommy Fat-Cheeks
Little Tommy Tucker (Ref: Nursery rhyme)
Lord Cruise
Lost Gun
Middletooth Mapother
Midgeteer
Misscruise
Mr. Puffy Face
Operating Fruit-loop
Peanut boy
Pin-up boy
Running Dwarf
See-Cruise-Crash-Again (Ref: his attempt at SCCA racing)
Taliban Tommy
Tammy Girl
TCSDMCOHB
Templeton (the more he ages, the more he reminds me of the rat from Charlotte’s Web)
The Glib-Meter
The Grand Douche
The Whooosh-ZZZZ!!! Divorcee
Timy Tommy
Tiny Tom
Tom Cosmetic Surgery
Tom Crude
Tom Kat-less
Tom Middletooth
Tom Ruse
Tom Snooze
Tom Thumb
Tom Thumbscrew
Tomboy
Tommy Culty
Tommy Girl
Tommy Low Tone
Tommy-Dunce
Top Bum
Top Goon
uberdouche
Überthetan

SAID ABOUT TOM CRUISE:
Being associated with Tom Cruise in any way but acting is now considered “Tom Foolery.”
Cruise is the Goebbels of Scientology
Every time I hear or read the name ‘Tom Cruise’, I think of doorbells…DING DONG!
He jumped the couch.
In the end, Tom Cruise was just another fool. (Will be said at his death or when he blows).
On his movie, Edge of Tomorrow, “Clamhog Day”
The Jar Jar Binks of $cientology.
Tom Cruise Crazy
Tom Cruise is responsible for more sales of Guy Fawkes masks than the movie V for Vendetta.
Tom Cruise keeps issuing press releases about how he did his own stunts. But so did the people in Jackass videos.
Tom Cruise needs a better script.
Tom keeps no wife passed her 33rd birthday.
Tommy’s Danger Zone is a couch.
When Tom is challenged to defend $cientology, his crickets are deafening.

Tom Cruise Poem, by Hamtaro:
There once was a fellow named Cruise
His family? He liked to abuse
He once banished his niece
Coz she smooched a hot piece
Top Gun sports a mighty short fuse.

TOMMY DAVIS Nicknames and Things Said about Him Tommy has left $cientology, and got paid off.
Foot bulletman
He’s Scientology’s Paris Hilton – stupid, irrelevant, yet incredibly arrogant due to inherited wealth.
Leader of Anonymous
Mommy’s Tommy
obnoxious martinet
Pimpo Novis
Tomass Davass
Tombola
Tommy the Tool
Tommybot
TommyDummy
Tommyrot
Tommywanker
Tool Time Tommy

BOB DUGGAN
Bob “Richer than God” Duggan
Walking Messingill

Jenna Elfman
Baby raper
Bestiality babe *
Elfbrain
Erection killer.
Heavyweight cult intellectual
Horse sex show star.*
Jenna “Animal Husbandry” Elfman
Ms. Aids
We could call her an Operating Clam: O.C.

* From her own words https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QBcF6IPREW8 A wag described the career of her husband, bit actor Bohdi Elfman, as “Pimp for horses.”

Jeff Pomeranz Nicknames
Wears his pants too tight.

Karin Pouw
Baghdad Bob of clams.
Delegated Mouthpiece
Karin “Three Foot Pompadore in a dress” Kapouw Suckas
Karin KaPow
spokes liar
spokeshole

Jaden Smith – Nicknames and Things Said about Jaden was schooled in a $cientology environment. Note: even though he’s a child, his behavior is so outrageous, it bears commenting.
Daddy’s Dreadfully Dreadlocked Douchebag
Fresh Douche of Bel Air
He is an attention seeking missile with no guidance system.
Hollywood über-douchebag brat
Janoxious Child
Jazzen Smithereen
Just-A Douche
Mini Douchetard
The Bad Tempered Kid Part III
The Karotid Kid
The Kid No One Wanted To Have Over For Dinner Despite The Dad
Will’s Worthless Wonder Child of Woe

Willow & Jaden Smith – Nicknames and Things Said about
Pufnstuff kids

John Travolta
Heavyweight cult intellectual
Travolta chia-head
Travolting

—————————————————————————————————–
Joy Villa
There once was a gal called Joy Villa
Who wore that orange “dress” – such a thrill-ah
It showed lots of tush, some thought they saw bush
And Dave? He “went off” like Godzilla.

JoJo Zawawi
Gestapo non grata

By: CryptoReporter

CryptoReporter — Fri, 11 Nov 2016 14:37:00 +0000

During nine months in 2011, while Hillary was Secretary of State, Church of Scientology International spent $80,000 lobbying the State Department.

The next year, 2012, they spent $80,000 in lobbying efforts targeting Clinton’s State Department.
Mitchell fought against a new religion law in Hungary that legally de-registers minority religions in the country, and “urged the Secretary to raise this issue with the Hungarian Prime Minister and with leaders of the Hungarian Parliament,” according to lobbying disclosure forms.

http://soprweb.senate.gov/index.cfm?event=getFilingDetails&filingID=f8268678-89b6-4710-834a-0b1b48ae005c&filingTypeID=60

Mitchell also circulated a letter to the secretary of state and others “to express our deep concern about rising government restrictions on religion in France” and to fight a religious extremism law in Vladimir Putin’s Russia, among other similar issues.

Scientology continued to lobby John Kerry’s State Department in each quarter of 2013 and 2014 after Clinton left office.

Scientology’s links to the Clintons predate Hillary’s term at the State Department.
The Clinton administration’s Internal Revenue Service granted Scientology its status as a tax-exempt church within Clinton’s first year in office in 1993.

Actor and Scientologist Tom Cruise personally called Bill Clinton to get him to influence his friend, British Prime Minister Tony Blair, to help Scientology’s charity status in Great Britain, according to former Scientology executive Marty Rathbun.

http://www.villagevoice.com/news/marty-rathbun-in-germany-i-watched-tom-cruise-tell-bill-clinton-to-influence-tony-blair-for-scientology-updated-6726044

Actor and Scientologist John Travolta once received “an unsolicited offer of presidential help” from Clinton as Scientology fought the German government on issues of religious persecution, according to The Los Angeles Times. Clinton administration national security advisor Sandy Berger personally talked to Travolta about the issue and the administration’s efforts to resolve it.

http://articles.latimes.com/1998/mar/15/entertainment/ca-28947/2

Scientology has funded the election-campaigns of both Bill and Hillary. Several actors, all of them Scientology-members, funded Hillary Clinton’s campaign for Senate with over $70,000, Tom Cruise presented Gore with $5,000, and John Travolta along with some other Scientology-members gave to a Gala-Diner in favor of the democrats (entry-fee: $25,000).

A person who has as close relations with dangerous cults like Scientology as Hillary Clinton was never fit to be president of the United States of America. She has proven that she is ready to sell her soul and her presidency to just about everyone who is willing to fund her campaigns, and she has shown that she will do whatever her sponsors want in return.

By: Mockingbird

Mockingbird — Sat, 05 Nov 2016 17:15:00 +0000

In reply to Robert Eckert. OH ! The quotes made me think it was a line verbatim and I didn't recall writing that !

By: Robert Eckert

Robert Eckert — Sat, 05 Nov 2016 14:32:00 +0000

In reply to Mockingbird. I was paraphrasing the position you took earlier that I found so troublesome.

By: Mockingbird

Mockingbird — Sat, 05 Nov 2016 05:54:00 +0000

In reply to Robert Eckert. Wait, when you say post do you mean the article today or the words I wrote ? I thought you were quoting me !

By: Mockingbird

Mockingbird — Sat, 05 Nov 2016 05:49:00 +0000

In reply to Robert Eckert. I thought you were directly quoting something. I wanted to know if you were quoting me, because I didn't recall writing one of the quotes you posted.