I’m not rebutting you. I will tell you that I find you unpleasant as many times as you insist on being told.

But you keep replying! And rebutting! If you just don’t want to talk to me, just don’t!

I have told you several times I have no interest in talking to you. Christ Church can also point to a record of producing at least one remarkably rude person.

It’s because it’s plausible. You say that your room is so liberal that it supports people who quit without any help from AA, indeed, even by methods that run directly counter to the first three steps, and has never had anyone not be helped by your group in your memory. This sounds a bit suspicious, given that the failure rate of most groups (95%) and the general belittling tone (“Will fails.” “Your best thinking got your here.”) most AA literature has for anyone who might not believe in the tenets that are read off at the beginning of every meeting. And this is not just my experience, but that of many others I’ve read and encountered.

The general experience I’ve seen is that people either have had it imposed on them by one authority or another, and treat it as a casual social activity thereafter, go for about a year, and leave once they find out that the promised “miracles” don’t magically appear, or they end up quitting on their own. Thirteen year chips are, statistically, one in ten thousand, so if its true, my congratulations. There’s a two-stage process similar to that of most cults: first you’re love-bombed, with every little success applauded and tear tenderly dried, the Steps themselves tendered as “merely suggestions” and the Higher Power anything you want “even a bedpan!” After awhile, the “old-timers” will snark-bomb “This isn’t a cafeteria, you know!”, “Poor you, poor you, pour you a drink.”, “Drama Queen”, and “You don’t have to work the steps — but you oughtta!” If you’ve never heard any of these slogans, I again congratulate you.

Having a white as snow exterior, as you claim, is characteristic of cults. Christ Church can point to a few less-than-stellar priests, oddball parishioners, and eccentric organists. The place has no climate control, save for a few windows, and the acoustics are crazy, and wiring the priest for sound doesn’t always work, either. Some people don’t like having the Bible spoon-fed to them, or that the music is old and the sermons aren’t always immediately relevant. And the whole thing is agonizingly slow, and sometimes just takes too darn long.

As I said, I’m sorry for any hurtful words, if all you say is true. But I reserve my right to be skeptical.

Just yesterday, you responded to someone talking about how thoroughly evil all of Christianity is by saying that your experience in the church you attended was different. Nobody called you a troll and a cultist for talking about your experience.

See? That’s what makes me simply fascinated about you. You’re in another cult, showing all the signs of being in a cult, considering that this group or do you call yourselves “rooms” these days? are so, so far above anything I know (seeing that I only know about the group I was in, not that I could have asked other people about what they knew) .

It’s the same with Scientology.

“Sorry, you probably got a bad auditor. ”

“Oh, they’re just a fundraising machine. Most aren’t.”

“Look, it’s not my problem if you really can’t be honest with yourself.”

Meanwhile, I hear

“Really, we don’t care if you didn’t follow our program. Live and let live.”

and still have to have someone say:

“RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our
path. Those who do not recover are those who cannot or will not give
themselves completely to this simple program, usually men and women
who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves.
There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have
been born that way.”

So, the Program works, only if you work the Steps. Faithfully, the way that Mr. Wilson said to do. And if not…well, you’re not a very nice person.

So, what’s the difference?

FU

Is this insulting? No. Either you’re very naive, which you are not, or very protective of anything that might steer people from AA. And how is empathy insulting? Sometimes friendship comes in strange forms these days. The best response is no response. Anything else is to give me the power to respond.

Right back atcha: what the fuck do you keep answering me for? Just for the chance to insult me again, and pretend like this is some form of friendship?

I’m not being deliberately unpleasant…I’m sorry if your feelings were hurt. After all, I’m going way out of my way to talk to *you*. On your side I wonder why you keep answering me. I suppose you’re lonely, and fighting is one of the ways you know there are people out there. So sad. So, like I said, get in touch and maybe we can talk about something positive together.