I helped someone who was trying to get their relative out of the SO last year that was apparently at, Gold. A female law enforcement officer said that they’d gone in before and that nobody said they were being held against their will,after being separated. These people also talked to the FBI last year(several times/two agents) and they kept promising to do something. But the closer their relative got to legal age the more they stalled. I’m no longer in contact with them, however, I got some useful info from Karen and forwarded it to them. Sadly, they’ve given up hope although HE KNOWS that they’ll be there for him when/if he decides to leave. Also, he has called from Florida and didn’t seem to be as despondent as he did when he was trying to leave Gold.

I dunno what years this happened but that’s some major malpractice on the part of those doctors!! I know if anything like that happened recently, they would have been mandated by law to report it, involve police, CPS, etc. It’s like I have on the ‘vivian’ page when i sexual abused and had to go to the hospital ER and vivian sat there calling me a drunken slut—-i was 4 years old, but it was 1973 in iowa, so they just shipped me home with that lunatic!!!

The stigma of mental illness STILL prevails, unfortunately. But getting someone help isn’t giving up on them, though i can empathize with how they felt, but it’s like they abandoned YOU to protect HER and it didn’t HELP her (nor you).

When CONFRONTED with things psychopaths will deny and lie and they do it well. They usually are totally aware of what they have done. I read extensively on psychopaths when I ended up with the one across the street. And portraying herself differently to different people, yep, they do that.

Yes indeed tough!! 🙂

Oh yes, they tried various psychiatrists and psychologists, took her to counselling, all that stuff. She just threw these wicked temper tantrums that involved destruction and would last for literally hours. They forced her for a while, and it was at that point that they apparently were at their wits end and thought about having her committed. But they just couldn’t bring themselves to do it.
Was it my immediate family who tried to talk me into not disconnecting from my sister? Yes. You have to remember, if it isn’t happening to you, it may not seem as bad as it really is, and when you’re looking back on it years later (though some of her most famous moments happened in her late teens, so you’d think memories would’ve remained fresh :(), it’s easy to remember what you want instead of what really happened. Here’s an example of a long-ago memory we’re all somewhat hazy on. At about age 10 or 11, my sister hurled a pair of scissors down the stairs at one of us, narrowly missing doing serious bodily damage. She’d thrown the scissors so hard they went through the drywall and stuck out of the wall. Pulling them out caused a tennis ball-sized chunk of drywall to come out with them. We all agree on that. I remember her throwing the scissors down the stairs at me (I was 7 or 8). My brother remembers her throwing the scissors down the stairs at him. My mom doesn’t remember who it was (she wasn’t right there when it happened). It’s possible she threw scissors at both me and my brother at different times (she did a lot of stuff like that. She chased me around the house with a steak knife once). Or time has done it’s usual trick on memory.
But don’t think they didn’t care, they did. My brother went out of his way to protect me from her when I was little. And the whole reason my parents even thought of having her committed was to protect me. They should have, but I understand why they didn’t; how do you give up on your child like that? And that’s what they thought they’d be doing, giving up on her. Add in the whole stigma against mental illness, and it’s easy to see why they chose not to.
My mom once asked my sister about a number of abuses she committed against me when we were younger. She didn’t even remember them. And I don’t think she was lying about it. Why should she remember them? They had no significance to her. They were just part of her daily evil actions. They only had significance to me. I’m sure there were other kids she beat up on or tormented who have remembered her throughout their lives, but my sister didn’t care what she did to them then, and so she probably didn’t hold onto those memories very hard.
It’s also possible she was lying to my mom. She does lie. And she goes out of her way to paint a very different picture of herself to others, her husbands, her friends, etc. I’m sure she’s told none of them about having Conduct Disorder, or abusing me or other kids, or about getting arrested for felony shoplifting, or any of the other awful things she did as a kid (or as an adult. She’d mellowed somewhat before I cut her out of my life, but just what she’d done to each of her previous husbands was sickening to me- she just used them). She’s recreated her childhood for herself, and maybe she’s actually come to believe her fairy tale version. I don’t know.
Ok, time to stop now. It’s not fun dredging this stuff up, is it? But I’m glad to find a fellow survivor. Tough women we are, right, Miss Tia?

did your parents ever intervene and try to get her help as a kid?? o_O i cannot even imagine having a child targeting another like that and not trying to get to the root of the issue…..and then to leave ya hanging? And was it your immediate family who kept trying to get to you rethink your position about her after you cut her off? That’s sort of weird too—i mean they knew of the abuse!! Dafudge (darn censoring!)….

i had a therapist try to tell me i shouldn’t cut off vivian—and ALL of them—because you know “family” but i turned it around and said ‘if i had a bf treat me like this would you tell me to stay?’….their clue phone rang!! toxic parents by susann forward covers a bit about cutting off relations but i think spends too much time trying to communicate with parents (whomever) the issues and um, when it comes to psychopaths you CANNOT TELL THEM A THING!! well i mean you can, but they’ll use it against you and make things worse….anything they do or say is justified in their little minds….

yeah, just cut ’em off—be it sister, all of ’em, whomever!!! no one deserves to be tortured like that for the sake of the ‘happy families’ image…..

Oh Miss Tia. Your “mother” sounds a lot like my “sister.” I can only imagine how much worse such abuse would be when it’s one of your parents as opposed to a sibling. And I had my brother and parents to protect me. Though they couldn’t be there every second, so I still got damaged. I did experience the physical abuse, psychological and emotional damage that comes from having to live with someone like that. As the youngest, I was my sister’s chosen target. Aside from being smaller and younger than her, which made me an ideal target, she also hated me quite literally, for reasons I didn’t understand for years (I was my dad’s favorite, and my brother was my mom’s favorite; it’s sad to say, and I don’t think parents should do stuff like that, but they did, and I became her favorite target because she couldn’t attack the others (though you should’ve her some of the venom she spewed about my dad at his funeral)).
Discussing this with my mom as an adult, I found out how close they were to turning my sister over to the state because they couldn’t manage her and they feared what she might do to me and others (which they were right to do, since she tried to kill me numerous times, many of which they knew about). I spent a few resentful years, wondering WHY they didn’t do just that. I do understand now.
People like to insist that “blood is thicker than water,” and that you should always hold onto your family. Why in the world should we hold onto people like that?! I kept trying with my sister until 2001 or 2002. Right around the time she dumped her third husband and starting seeing her fourth husband. For each new hubby, she would remake herself into someone totally new (at least she did on the surface). For hubby #4, she remade herself into someone startling, surprisingly, like me. That was the last straw, since she had spent the last two and a half decades insulting me and harassing me and abusing me for being who I am.
I snapped at that point and stopped all communication and contact with her. The rest of my family tried for years to get me to rethink my position, but I’ve stood firm. I’m so much happier and healthier without having her in my life. I regret not having contact with my niece and nephew, or with my extended family (she’s done a very good job of poisoning them against me, and why shouldn’t they believe her snide comments about me when they haven’t seen me for over a decade?), but my own mental well-being is more important. It was necessary for my own survival. I know YOU understand this. Sometimes, the family you make is better for your wellbeing than the family you’re born into.
Good for you for standing up to Vivian and for making sure everyone at the school knew what she was really like. Hopefully you saved some children from being placed in her control and from being manipulated and abused by her. It sounds like the most important thing to her is to have complete control over everyone she has contact with. I’m so sorry you had to grow up with that.
the only bright side to being exposed to such abuse is the sympathy and empathy that is learned. We’ve both obviously developed these traits quite keenly. I’m very lucky to not suffer from PTSD or anxiety any more, but again, I had good, loving family members to counteract the one bad one. I’m sorry you didn’t have that too. I’m here for you if you ever need to talk. I know to a large extent what you went through. 🙁

i had some shrinks think vivian was schizophrenic, but i have doubted that…..psychopath? YES!! narcisstic? YES!! a variety of other personality disorders? YES!! i’m glad you had parents and a brother to support you….i had no one and most of them knew she was nuts and dangerous!!! though, i do believe the friend of the family who was a teacher at the grade school i went to arranged for me to get double lunches—i can’t prove that, but i have suspected it was her…..so in a very small way, someone helped me a wee bit…but in that house? around that woman? nope…..nada…..i had no one….and look how the hell i turned out!! HAH!!! (my sense of humor will usually always come out 😉

i gotta go get ready, i’m getting my belated xmas gift today—-a trip to the GODIVA store to pick out the pieces i want!!! YEAH!!!!

As I said, a strong and brave woman. I’m going to head to your site shortly. At this point, all I can say is your Vivian sounds like my sister, the psychopath. She made my childhood a living hell. I’m lucky I had good parents and my wonderful brother to offset her physical, mental and psychological abuse, or I might have turned out very differently than I did. :/

yeah, i wouldn’t have read that before bed!!! nah…..i’m just an ordinary chick who’s had a rather unordinary life….the way i view it is that i feel that somehow/some way things MUST happen (i’m an atheist but i DO believe in other planes of existence, that’s another discussion though) for whatever reason and some have happened to me because i could withstand them…i had quite a few counselors tell me had i had any siblings vivian probably would have killed them…..and/or i shouldn’t have ANY functionality at all—which was also indicated on the MMPI with my levels of anxiety/PTSD…..but obviously i DO function…..and i never was adicted to anything either…..i’m just a strange anomaly! 😀

Sounds like Scientology’s usage, not related to space time . Fits perfectly . 😀

I kno w they did. This was a family that talked to them last year. The local police anf two FBI agents were very nice and told them they had done this, too. They did say they were still working on it. Broke their hearts as he wanted to leave. Still have the FBI numbers laying around. Much easier to get a judge to sign a warrant when they are under age. But yes they both went in at different times.